i'm always comparing myself with other people

tetsuroupapi  asked:

Hey Nina. This is kinda a depressing question, but my prompto cosplay is not going how I want and I have to wear it in two days to my school. But I'm really questioning that because 1. it just looks funky and 2. I don't want people making fun of me. Though it is only the 3rd cosplay I've made, I'm losing my confidence in all of my cosplay plans for the future. I'm a perfectionist and I compare myself to others so much. Since you seem like a really helpful & nice person, how do I deal with this?

First off: I’m very sorry for likely replying after the fact. It’s extremely difficult for me to keep up with my inbox on this site (especially for messages that need a lengthier answer like this), so I don’t always get to respond to inquiries with a quick turn-around. I hope your event at school ended up going well, though!

Secondly: I’m so proud of you for tackling a project outside of your comfort zone to push your skills! It’s important for artists to do that; it’s what helps us grow and learn and most of all, improve. The worst thing you can do as an artist is never push yourself or try new things. It’ll make you stagnate and cause your progress to plateau. So good job for attempting such a difficult costume so early in your cosplay journey!

Thirdly: Yes, Prompto is an extremely challenging costume. It involves a ton of little techniques and details that aren’t apparent at a first glance, and as a result, it’s a project that can get easily overwhelming. (Trust me: been there, done that!) So it’s no wonder you’re feeling frustrated, especially as a novice cosplayer! In which case, my recommendation from here on out would be that the next time you feel frustrated with your progress, take a step back. Evaluate what you don’t like and assess what you need to change in order to be happier with the final results. Don’t like the plaid you chose? Rip it off and find something else. Not happy with the paint job on the shirt? Start over. Take your time and use a different method. Unhappy with your wig styling? Wash out all the hair product and try again. There is no shame in remaking something two, three, four, or more times. Keep remaking it until you’re happy with it, even if it takes 10+ attempts. You will have so much more fun wearing something you’re proud of rather than something you just “settled” for or finished half-heartedly. (Also, on the note of budgeting: budget for this. Set money aside as a “back-up” fund in case things go wrong and you need more materials. That money should always be included in your original estimations! And if you end up not needing it? Cool, treat yourself in the Artist Alley.)

Lastly, and perhaps the most importantly: be more forgiving and let yourself make mistakes. You’re still learning. You’re still teaching yourself these skills. You have just started making costumes. Yaya’s first costumes were not perfect. Kamui’s first armor build was not flawless. Jessica started out with a Pikachu bikini and now she’s making stuff like this. Heck, look, here’s my first real cosplay that I made versus my most recent:

It’s taken me ten years to get this far. Why? Because for a lot of those years, I didn’t push myself. I stayed in my comfort zone. I chose projects that didn’t teach me new skills or force me to work with new materials. It wasn’t until the last 4 years that I’ve really been focused on my craftsmanship and improving my skills, and that is what has allowed me to finish costumes like Sheik, Rapidash, and yes, Prompto too.

I know it’s hard. I know it’s frustrating. But you’re doing the right thing by attempting more difficult projects. Just remember that the frustration is part of the learning process. It’s good to get frustrated because it means you care and want to push yourself harder. It’s good to have high standards for your work because it means you’ll always strive to do your best.

However: it’s important to not let this frustration stunt your growth. Acknowledge your frustration, accept it, and learn to manage it. Take breaks while working. Don’t be afraid to revisit the drawing board. Set the costume aside and practice the skills you need to finish it before making another attempt. And again: forgive yourself for making mistakes. Yaya, Kamui, and Jess make them all the time. And you can bet your patootie I do, too. (Anyone who’s watched my livestreams knows that I mess up quite a bit, haha!)

Whether or not you ended up wearing it to school, I hope your Prompto cosplay turns out in a way that makes you happy! Don’t give up; work smarter, not harder. You’ve got this! <3

anonymous asked:

hello!im a freshman and the middleschool for my highschool is a music and arts school, so all the people who came from there (a majority), are significantly better than me.I always feel that in my section I need to prove myself to everyone, and I'm not sure if thats a good feeling to have. Is it? I'm an RCM pianist, and that automatically puts me in the 'elite group', but do i really belong there? I'm taking music again next year because I love it, but do things ever stop becoming a competition?

music is only a competition if you let it be. you can easily compare your skill to others based off of range, ability to navigate scales, the difficulty of repertoire, etc. but music does involve a bit more of a personal and emotional element. if you let music be more about how every individual interprets and connects with a song, then it stops being a competition, because everyone has something different and important to bring to the table

In the world of musical theatre, the task of not comparing yourself to others is nearly impossibe. I’m still doubting it can be done. Whether you’re reprimanding yourself for not being able to belt that high note the girl in your choir can belt, for not being able to land that pirouette that boy in your ballet class does perfectly, or for not being able to put the raw emotion in your monologue that person who auditioned right before you put into theirs, you know that comparing yourself isn’t gonna get you anywhere. But, we do it anyway. The thing is, we are all in different places. Some people start at age 2, some people start at age 20. 

But, I’ve always thought of it as a scale, right? Like, some kind of 1 to 10 scale, where a 10 has a 100% chance of getting in a show, a 5 has a 50% chance, etc. The truth is, though, it’s not a scale. It’s a puzzle.

Every show is a puzzle, and you’re a piece. The director is the one solving the puzzle. And there are some puzzles that you just don’t fit into. And it sucks! There’s no denying that! And sometimes, it’s like, “geez, that person can fit into every puzzle, but I can only fit into some.” But, let me tell you, there are definitely puzzles that they don’t fit into. 

Every actor is a differently shaped piece, and there’s a puzzle out there that you may fit perfectly into that the person you’re comparing yourself to does not. We each bring our own different set of skills and personality to the table. and sometimes we fit, and sometimes we don’t.

But, not fitting doesn’t make us any less of puzzle piece. It just means that puzzle wasn’t made for us.

I don’t know. I’m tired, I just had to the good old “I’m not good enough” breakdown, and I’m making up this metaphor on the spot. But, I guess the point I’m trying to get to is that talent really can’t be measured. Talent comes in different shapes and sizes, so if yours isn’t the same shape as most people’s, that doesn’t mean you don’t have it. 

anonymous asked:

i refer to ur sketch style as "flat pastel", style 1 as "soft geo" and style 2 as "hard geo". idk why id tell u this this. but your styles are like nothing ive ever scene i love it

adfjdsakjf I love those descriptions??? thank you so much!!! It always makes me happy to know how other people see my style since I don’t really know what it is myself (’v’ )

anonymous asked:

Hey Peño. I'm a brand new fanfiction writer and I've noticed that my word count per chapter is way shorter than others. My paragraphs feel really short even though I put in as much detail as I can and I always feel like everything I do is underdone. I know I'm not supposed to compare myself to other writers but I get really demotivated to see the time I spend not add up to much and to see my writing not get acknowledged. This is keeping me from continuing to share my work. Any advice?

Just as you said, don’t compare your writing with other people. Especially if you’re brand new to something. Are you editing your work? If not, that might help you a lot.

Often, I will write just to get everything out. Then I leave it for a day or a few hours and go do something else. When I come back I read it from the top again and rework it. I add more detail, more sentences, I see where I want to elaborate more? That might help you build up some bulk in your writing.

Please, don’t give up! Writing is fucking hard. It really is. It takes such a long time to get something out and on the page. But do not quit. In 2 months you could look back at your old works and see progress already if you keep at it. Read a lot of other stuff but pay attention to the content and instead of feeling down about yourself, use that to help you out in your own work! I wish you the best of luck in your future works!

I wish I would stop constantly comparing myself to other people. I always notice when someone has a virtue that I lack, and it’s almost sadistic, it’s almost like I’m actively searching for more things to hate about myself. I need to just focus on living, and trying to live a quiet life, instead of trying to be successful and do extraordinary things. It’s ok to be normal and average, it’s ok to not be exceptional.

Honestly I am sick of the signs incorrect descriptions and over-the-top stereotypes...
  • So I'm making this to satisfy myself and give my insight to signs of people I've met in real life compared to their sign stereotypes.
  • Aries stereotype: Always angry; "FIGHT ME, BITCH"; wannabe badass
  • Aries in reality: Tends to be rather sensitive but does have a tough side; actually fun to be around; very caring
  • Taurus stereotype: Always hungry; overly-stubborn and even loyal to the point of it being annoying
  • Taurus in reality: Sensitive; cheerful; youthful
  • Gemini stereotype: Two-faced bitch; arrogant; never listens to others; always busy
  • Gemini in reality: Independent but does enjoy the company of others; intelligent
  • Cancer stereotype: The "Mother" of the zodiac; very very sensitive and cries literally all the time; weak; lonely; crazy mood swings
  • Cancer in reality: Friendly; sensitive but not over the top; good at making people feel better; observant
  • Leo stereotype: Overly sensitive; "Everything is all about me and nobody else"
  • Leo in reality: Doesn't take criticism well; social butterflies; silly; very caring; very fun to be around; tends to fake a smile
  • Virgo stereotype: Bossy; clean freak/perfectionist
  • Virgo in reality: Rather quiet; opens up when around their friends; tends to have a negative image of themselves; very chill people
  • Libra stereotype: Romantic little shits; "sex sex sex"; boring
  • Libra in reality: has a lot to say but not always sure how to say it; actually sort of awkward regarding romance; has strong opinions
  • Scorpio stereotype: "I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING!"; always horny; "I'll fuckin' kill you if you even look at me"; total asshole; "SEX"
  • Scorpio in reality: Very clingy; not /always/ horny...; sensitive; kind; caring; silly; fun to be around; they can be a bitch when angered but other than that Scorpios are pretty nice
  • Sagittarius stereotype: Careless; horny little bitches; murderers
  • Sagittarius in reality: "FOOD"; tends to be a bit awkward; good time & money management skills; energetic; introverted; lots of pent-up anger
  • Capricorn stereotype: Quiet & shy; boring; nerds; greedy
  • Capricorn in reality: Tends to fake a smile; can be very outgoing when around the right people; caring; sometimes their emotions get the best of them; artistic
  • Aquarius stereotype: Physically detached; hides emotions and always fakes a smile; the "emo bitches" of the zodiac
  • Aquarius in reality: Intelligent; quiet; easy to talk to; defies stereotypes
  • Pisces stereotype: SUPER emotional; cries constantly
  • Pisces in reality: Talented individuals, they just need to spend some time finding that talent; open-minded; has strong opinions
2

3 years ago, I got this shirt from my mom for Christmas that reads, “IM THAT GIRL.” I really did like it but ended up only wearing it twice since I got it, today included. I’ve always feared what people would think to themselves if they saw me wearing this, because I’m not particularly great at anything..I tend to blend in with the regular crowd.
I’m not that girl with the noticeable good looks, the perfect body, straight A’s or tons of friends.
As I went through my workout today, I couldn’t help but think of all the things I’m not, because this shirt has always been a reminder to me of all those things.
But today for no known reason I had dug this specific t-shirt out from the bottom of my drawer and put it on.
After I realized this, the positive side of me started to fight its way back into my head, telling me things like “you know what? I AM that girl.
I’m that girl that’s a work in progress.
I’m that girl that really likes to run, and running doesn’t really like me back at the moment, but I’m not giving up.
I’m that girl that is trying to stop comparing myself to others, and trying to care less about others opinions.
I’m that girl that’s been finding a lot of happiness in herself lately, for herself and BY herself.
I’m that girl that has always wanted to be THAT girl, but is slowly accepting who I am.“
I’m that girl that hopes other people actually read this and gain a little more self confidence themselves.
🙂

anonymous asked:

people always say that the key to confidence is to stop caring what other people think and stop comparing and I'm trying so hard to do that but I'm not sure how? how did you stop comparing yourself to others?

I unfollowed a bunch of people on Instagram who I was just following because they were attractive. I started tuning into programs and books and media that valued female intelligence and inner beauty over outer appearance. I surrounded myself with people who believe in my talents and abilities. I started appreciating others beauty and complimenting a ton of strangers on the street for their cool clothes or interesting hair or tattoos. I deleted all “goal” body pics I had and just worked on being healthy. I stopped being friends with girls who talked badly about other girls. I was kind to myself when I looked in the mirror. I realized that beauty is so relative and even if I think another human is beautiful that doesn’t take away from my own unique beauty.

anonymous asked:

so i mean *screech* I've been drawing for a long time, but I don't really know how to progress anymore. I want to get better, but I'm not really sure how to approach the idea of it. I draw everyday, but I don't see any results in my art. I find myself comparing artwork to other artists(which I shouldn't do), and I really can't help myself. I've just slowly stopped drawing all together. I miss it, honestly, but nothing motivates me anymore. Some tips would be greatly appreciated ;;

How to improve your art :

1. It’s okay if you compare yourself to an experienced artist because it’ll motivate you to be as good as them. (I always compared my drawing to my friends’ arts. I know it hurts to see how better people are but (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง )

2. Spot your ‘incapability’. For example, you can’t get the anatomy correctly or the color you’re using always turns out to be shitty.

3. After you know what your incapability is, try to learn more about it by looking at tutorials on YouTube or Deviantart.

4. Practice regularly. Everybody has different pace in improving, some are slow and some are fast. But it’s okay, as long as you don’t stop I’m sure you’ll make it.

I’m not a type of person who likes to draw seriously, I have a lot of sketchbooks and most of them are still blank. I like to draw on wasted paper and I think it can be a good practice to help you to improve. Hope this helps :^)

anonymous asked:

I have this friend, whom I'm really jealous of. She has great hair, nice eyes, perfect body and perfect skin. I'm always comparing myself to her and other girls. I just can't stop idk what to do please help :(

It’s hard to break this, because eventually it just becomes a habit, it’s okay to notice these things, but to a point where it’s making you feel bad about yourself. I believe you can’t just stop, but you need to realize that you can’t change who you are. There will always be people who have more than you and people who have less. You just need to realize that putting yourself down won’t change anything but your happiness, and you are beautiful and you are so enough

kttheskeleton-deactivated201511  asked:

Hi I'm a teenage self conscious girl, and I used to swim and do excersize but exams got in the way and I have fallen behind my old rivals,, I would really like to start swimming again and take up volleyball and eat healthier but I'm really worried that people will laugh at me because of how unfit I am compared to others in my team, do you have any motivation quotes to help me get over myself and just do it?

A quote nor a sentence of motivation will help you get over it

School is the place where people will always mock you because you’re different or because you’re doing something unusual.

These people will generally ask you advice when you will get results. “How did you do that !?

Do what you love. Life is too short to care about what others people think. They opinion is just noise.

anonymous asked:

How do I stop comparing myself to others? I'm constantly getting down on myself because I'm always telling myself "I'm not as good as (insert person here) so why try?" I know it's a terrible thing to do but I can't stop.

Other people’s lives work (or don’t) for them. Other people have different parents, goals, memories, life experiences, etc. etc. 

You come with your own set of…everything. So what is the use of comparing yourself to a completely different person.  

People tell you that you can be anything you want to be in your life. People never tell you, “you can be everything THAT person already is but BETTER.”

Your life isn’t based on other people. Your life is your own.