i'm already in love with you and now i want to have babies with you!!

Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
Virginity

Requested - Hi! Could you write something with Aaliyah and Y/N. Like they get along pretty well and like Aaliyah asks Y/N about losing Virginity (Y/N lost it very soon) or something like that. Thanks!

Requested - Heyy, I have an imagine request 💕 so, you’re visiting Shawn in Canada and he’s busy, so you end up spending time with Aaliyah (like take her shopping or out for milkshakes or something) and Shawn finds out and he thinks it’s really sweet and fluff fluff fluff

Your name: submit What is this?

~~~

“Baby, I’m so sorry,” Shawn says for what seems like the hundredth time as he glances over at you briefly before refocusing his eyes on the road in front of him.

“Don’t be.” You respond with a cheeky smile. “I get to drive your jeep and hang out with your sister, so it’s a win-win for me.”

“Have I told you lately that you’re the best?” He asks.

“Maybe once or twice,” you tease, a smile on your face as you genuinely appreciate this time you’re getting to spend with your boyfriend, even if it isn’t a lot. You came to Canada to visit him, but he ended up having to rehearse at the last minute, which kind of ruined your original plans for the afternoon.

The drive to his rehearsal space goes by far too quickly, and before you know it you’re driving his jeep out of the parking lot on your way to pick up Aaliyah from school. Since Shawn ended up being busy, you offered to pick up his sister from school and take her to the mall. You’ve grown really close to Aaliyah over the past year that you’ve been dating Shawn, and since you don’t have a younger sister, you take full advantage of getting to spend time with Aaliyah and play an older sister role in her life.

Keep reading

EXO 101: A Crash Course

Park Chanyeol 

Originally posted by megglesbagels

Soft baby by day, sexy mofo by night. Can do everything?? Sing, rap, dance, cook, act, write and produce music, play the guitar (classical, spanish, lead, and rhythm omg) and the piano and the drums, has the body of an elf king. He’s also AMAZING with children as shown [here - skip to 12:17 and WATCH you won’t regret it] and dogs too! All animals really. He’s Korean Snow White. With abs. And if Snow White was extra. 

Also the kindest soul ever. He’s always smiling, even when he’s down. He literally said, and I quote; “No matter how difficult something is, I will always be positive and smile like an idiot.” His then-girlfriend nicknamed him “Happy Virus.” Constantly buys his members gifts, is very tall (well over six feet), and he’s the most extroverted and sociable person - actually friends with everyone. 10/10 amazing human.  


Byun Baekhyun

Originally posted by junhyyo

Don’t let him fool you!!! He looks soft but he will fuck you up with his cheeky lil smile and pelvic sorcery and unearthly vocals and uGH. His wit is unparalleled like omg, so sassy and hilarious and sharp. Also a huge nerd when it comes to anime, manga, and video games. Once gave a picture of himself to another member as a gift, the lil shit.  

He’s incredibly passionate about his career and his members, and I think it was Kyungsoo who said that it’s Baek who keeps them all together at times. In summary: Byun Baekhyun is what happens when a demon and an angel do the do. 


D.O./Do Kyungsoo:

Originally posted by sehuntiful

Do Kyungsoo? More like Do Me, Kyungsoo. I’m sorry I’m so thirsty Ksoo…I don’t even know where to begin with this one. First of all, he single-handedly saved the human race from extinction with his voice. He’s savage af, so much so that he’s affectionately nicknamed “Satansoo” and he will smack a bitch. He’s also so soft and squishy at the same time, you’ll get whiplash. And his acTING. Lord in heaven. And I believe he didn’t even have acting lessons?? The nerve of him. He, too, is sex on legs, and he might be quieter than the others, but y’all best listen when he talks cause boy bout to spill the tea. 

He’s also very paternal in that he takes care of the other members a lot, like when Kai, his roommate, isn’t feeling well, he’ll care for him or go out to get food for him. And he can cook really well. I’m gonna stop now before I end up writing an entire dissertation ;’)


Lay/Zhang Yixing

Originally posted by glorious-soobooty

ALSO NOT PURE ABORT ABORT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

Oh my god. Anyway. Zhang Yixing is the perfect contradiction. On the one hand, he’s an actual baby lamb - laugh and all. On the other hand, he’s the human embodiment of the NC-17 rating. Like, hide yo kids. Yixing is also one of the Chinese members of EXO, so he often leaves to promote his solo music which is in Chinese, and he works so incredibly hard and deserves all the success. He also writes the lyrics, and composes and arranges the music! 

And…his dancing. Proof that god exists. There is literally no part of his body that Yixing does not have absolute command over - and you can see it because he is so precise, confident, and sexy. :’) 


Suho/Kim Junmyeon

Originally posted by oohsehunnies

I actually had to cover his face while writing this because holy–

Yup. Moving on. 

Actually, back to his face (and the rest of him): Remember when Da Vinci was conceptualizing the Vitruvian Man (lol only 90′s kids will remember…1490′s kids, that is). You know that picture of the guy with another pair of arms and legs superimposed on him, inside a circle? The drawing theorizing the ideal proportions of the human body? Yup, true story: Junmyeon was Da Vinci’s muse. Suho’s face is so symmetrical, it inspired mathematicians to write the golden ratio. He is a genetic miracle, a statistical outlier, a national treasure–

Anyway *sweats*. ALSO. Let’s talk about his personality. Myeon is the mom of EXO, the leader, so he’s naturally very parental. He actually chose the stage name “Suho” because it means guardian. He always does his best to keep his kids the members together and doing what they need to be doing. Always pays for things ($Junmoney$), and is the person a lot of them confide in and go to for comfort or advice, especially Sehun. 

He’s such a dad too - like his dad joke ratings are off the charts. 10/10 would build you a tree house and tuck you in at night. 


Oh Sehun

Originally posted by sehurn

Maknae. Icon. Legend. Used to have a lisp. 

People sometimes think he’s cold or reserved because of his face, but as you can see in the gif, he’s literal sunshine. He once cried on stage because he was knocked on the head by a camera - but he wasn’t crying because the injury hurt, he was crying because he wasn’t allowed to perform because of it, and he felt like he was disappointing his fans. He also cried during a radio show when asked about his other members - he said every night before he falls asleep, he prays for them and he prays that they all stay together and are successful and happy. And now I’m crying. 

Everyone is in love with him

His dancing resurrected me from the dead, put my children through college, and ended world hunger because damn we are fed when that boy moves. 

Sehun was once invited to Paris for a Louis Vuitton fashion show and became king of France. I’m not kidding. All he did was show up, and there was a huge crowd already there to greet him as if he were royalty, and he was voted best dressed at the show by Vogue. He went to the Louvre, and people were studying and appreciating him, the actual art.  


Chen/Kim Jongdae

Originally posted by dayafterdae

Ah, little dino bby. He’s iconic for many reasons: 

1) His smile. It curls up at the corners like this :}

2) When he laughs, he literally goes HAHAHAHAHA like wow, amazing, I want this as my ringtone

3) He screams a lot. Nickelodeon once made a show about him called Jongdae: The Last Pterodactyl

4) HIS VOCALS. Un-freaking-believable. He’s the male version of Mariah Carey. 

5) Speaks really good Chinese! (He’s Korean) 

6) An amazing human?? He donates to charity so often and he doesn’t do it for publicity either. He takes good care of the other members too. 

Jongdae, let me put a ring on it. 


Xiumin/Kim Minseok

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

HERE WE GO. My precious boy :’)

Minseok. The eldest. Also known as the best person to ever exist. Like Kyungsoo, he doesn’t talk much because he’s a shy lil bean, but once he warms up to you, the things that come out of his mouth are so deep and cute and funny and wowow I want ten of him

Is the least likely to cry

Was chubby (and so adorable!!) as a little kid, and now he has a six pack. Because of his weight as a kid though, he has spoken many times about the issue of body shaming and how people’s perceptions of a person shift based on how they look. He once said these words that made my cold, dead heart beat again: “I don’t have an ideal type. If our hearts match well, then she will look pretty to me.” 

Has the strongest arms in EXO. They all arm wrestled and he won and it was the funniest thing ever. 

Is not only an idol, he’s also getting his Ph.D. Dr. Kim. I can’t believe….

Wants to open his own coffee shop, and I don’t drink coffee, but I would chug any dish-water-coffee-grinds-filth that he would serve me because damn I love him. 


Kai/Kim Jongin

Originally posted by dazzlingkai

R00D MOTHERF*CKER. 

The Bias Wrecker. Or just your bias, plain and simple 

Kim Jongin is one of nature’s greatest accomplishments. His gams are the eighth wonder of the world - and he puts them to use when he dances, like please kick me in the face with those omfg 

His laugh. Astounding. Also don’t stand too close when he laughs because he will hit you. It’s just what he does lmao

He’s basically a hip young old man - so hot but so sleepy. He’ll sleep at any given opportunity. 

Very fond of fried chicken. And dogs. But not in terms of eating, for the latter

Learned ballet for ten years and it shows, and I just wANT TO SEE HIM IN A LEOTARD DAMMIT

He has darker skin than the other members which people used to make fun of him for and still do comment on, but he says he loves it and he is proud of his body :’) we are too bby!!


Other random facts

EXO originally had 12 members but 3 left and we’re not going to talk about it okay? okay

- Chen and Xiumin are married best friends. Xiumin actually said in an interview that Chen is “like my wife” 

- Sehun is now officially Lord Oh Sehun of Glencoe, Scotland because his fans are the most Extra and purchased the estate for his birthday :’) 

- Chanyeol once folded one hundred paper cranes for his girlfriend as a gift, but in the middle of doing this, she called him and broke up with him

- Baekhyun can’t cook for shit but at least he’s pretty 

- Kai is dating F(X)’s Krystal 

- Kyungsoo once said to the camera that he is “not pure” 

- Yixing starred in a gay sci-fi movie where he and this other dude have a baby

- Suho is a health nut. Just like how girls always have pads and tampons on them, Suho has multivitamins 


For @the-porcelain-doll-xo because I’m the friend that wants to drag you into hell with me, and I can’t wait for you to get into EXO ahhhhh ily <33

anonymous asked:

could you maybe give some sugar daddy nursey head canons, I just found out about this universe and I'm LOVING ITTT

(this au is tagged under sugar daddy nursey!)

  • derek has a habit of just sending will food
    • like, he spends BIG BUCKS on ubereats
    • will, casually, at midnight on a tuesday: “ugh i just want some french fries”
    • derek, ten minutes later: “your french fries are outside go grab ‘em”
  • derek thinks a lot abt marrying will, but then he has to check himself bc will is twenty years old
  • derek’s friends (mostly his assistant, Martha) like to tease him by making lists of things will can’t legally do
    • “drink alcohol, rent a car, check-in to a hotel room by himself, do literally anything in vegas, etc…”
  • chowder and lardo are the first ones who know abt derek bc they were there when will went home with him that first night
    • the whole ride back to samwell that next day was chowder and lardo grilling him bc “he must’ve been pretty good if you went to lunch with him instead of us, jack, and alexei mashkov!!!!”
  • will tells bitty next bc he and derek get in a blowout fight over derek paying will’s tuition and bitty’s the only person will can think of who would get this situation
    • bitty and will now have bi-weekly “vent abt our stupid rich boyfriends who try to buy our love” coffee dates
  • will tells bitty it’s okay to tell jack, and when jack finds out he very lowkey looks into derek nurse, just to be sure will’s okay
  • ransom and holster are PSYCHED when will tells them abt derek bc “ANOTHER SUGAR BABY IN THE HAUS WE BOUTTA BE ROLLING IN FREE SHIT”
  • shitty lectures will on how his body is not something to be sold and he is not obligated to sleep with anyone
    • will punches him in the face (he pulls the punch a lil, but still) and tells him to shut the fuck up, his relationship is 100% consensual
  • derek has been trying to get will to move in with him since like the first month of their relationship. they both know he’ll move in after he graduates, but derek is impatient and wants to wake up with will every day now, not in two years
    • derek is quietly making shifts around in his company to be sure that there is a very inviting IT spot for will when he graduates - different sector than derek, so derek isn’t technically his boss, he already cleared it with his PR team
  • derek is openly terrified of turning thirty. it’s two years away, and will is already planning how to make it fun instead of terrible for derek
  • sometimes derek will read will writing samples from authors he might offer publishing deals to just to get will’s opinion
    • will so far has given his approval to 3 best-sellers
50% OFF Starters pt 2
  • "If you continue your attempts at flirting, I will be forced to take DRASTIC measures."
  • "I like watching you from behind."
  • "Stunning deduction sherlock."
  • *demonic voice* "by the darkest sun that casts its menacing rays of the furthest madness, we sense your intentions, (name). the gibbering of mad cultists whisper wicked words to temporal winds, they inform us that you are not to be trusted. Usurper. Usurper."
  • "USURPER!"
  • "I've heard a lot about you and your extensive collection of tank tops, like I'm thinking about getting like 10 more."
  • "Calm down little dude."
  • "the fear of drowning is a primal one. it's a feeling of helplessness, of losing all control. struggling against an inevitable fate as your lungs fill with water..."
  • "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how to swim or how to fuck Dean Winchester."
  • "You know I had a dream like this once, you surprisingly had more clothes on, though, at least at the start."
  • "ten bucks says he dies."
  • "I'm gonna go run my feelings off."
  • "Yeah it didn't work out... for them."
  • "I have to go scream confusing, end-of-the-world ramblings at people under the freeway."
  • "I feel like I should argue this, but the potential for implied sexual antics is far too appealing."
  • "do not be alarmed! I am about to be hilarious."
  • "Maybe you should stop dragging me to these rap battles then!"
  • "I WANT YOU TO SHARE THE THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME!"
  • "I was under the impression there would be implied sexual antics, time to take matters into my own hands!"
  • "This feels a little exploitative."
  • "I need a soda. Or therapy. Probably both."
  • "Yeah it started because K-pop concert security is tougher than it looks but I just got hooked on the feeling of crushing someones face in with a solid right cross."
  • "sHHSHHshhshhhhh shut up shut up! shh I SMELL BOYS BEING GAY."
  • "Excuse me I am trying to scream my feelings into your mouth!"
  • "That wasn't hot... it was just fucking weird..."
  • "It's not what I would have you in, but I do appreciate beauty in all its many forms. mostly that cute booty though."
  • "hey, the heart wants what the heart wants."
  • "It may be hard to believe, but recently I lost the ability to read."
  • "Just because you can't read the words, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the book in a different way."
  • "boom! done. advice over. let's go get shitfaced!"
  • "Alright I brought the bitch-board for (name)."
  • "Alright let's call it what it is, a sissy paddle."
  • "calm down (name) we weren't talking about your internet search history."
  • "MY SWEET BABY SWAM!"
  • "didn't we make a pact to stop her from doing this weeb shit?"
  • "this better not be anymore or (name)'s weird porn!"
  • "Please call the police, because I look so good in this it should be against the law! uh, don't actually call the police though, I WILL incriminate all of you."
  • "Yeah but didn't they train on those islands where all those teenagers were killed? ...and those witch burnings happened? ...and all that toxic waste was spilled?"
  • "if you die, I get fired and I like this job. people don't ask questions here."
  • "fish-men walk among us. conquerers of land, BORN FROM THE OCEAN--"
  • "I don't need him to make weird pornography, I have prawns for that."
  • "Finally moving out, son? I'd like to say it's been fun. I'd like to. But I won't."
  • "hey check me out! I'm on a bout!"
  • "Sit down and stop making 2009 references!"
  • "nah, I scream enough at the unforgiving void of space."
  • "DON'T STEAL MY BONES!"
  • "You know, the ocean goblin? He lives in the ocean and if you don't brush your teeth he steals your bones."
  • "Ok I'm done for the day. If anyone needs me I'm gonna be in the tent looking at weird porn."
  • "Hey, you miss every ball you don't hit."
  • "You say 'you people' like you're not part of the family. I've got some news for you, you're already on the christmas card."
  • "You think these antics would fly at the german club?"
  • "brush your teeth, kid."
  • "Can you hear it? the ocean... it wants blood."
  • "I'm the best damn shot we've got."
  • "You know, when I was a kid, before my dad got hit by that train, he said, '(name) don't let your friends swim out into the ocean and get stranded on the haunted island of camp kill-a-teen.' and here we are... stranded on the... haunted island of camp kill-a-teen..."
  • "that's fair."
  • "hey tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbass!"
  • "It's fine, baby, if you get scared you can squeeze my hand."
  • "now let's make like scooby-doo and split up to find a clue."
  • "In 1991 a case was discovered where a man had the remains of over fifteen victims hidden in his apartment, over 40% of which were stored within his refrigerator. do you know how unsanitary that is?"
  • "you're so cute when you never shut up. Now shut up."
  • "all hail decision cube!"
  • "that's when you started walking on the wild side, right?"
  • "I AM NOT SOME PETTY CRIMINAL!"
  • "Does anyone want to hear my tragic backstory?"
  • "Bed? But what about possible axe-murderers?"
  • "And we solved the curse of the island, and realized that the real axe murderer was love, all along."
  • "It was a good night for all of us, let's spend more nights in abandoned lighthouses."
  • "That hottie from the track team is here and I wanna ask politely is he wants to get rowdy in the back of my dad's Prius."
  • "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS"
what it means

When they finally kiss, it feels like time has stopped. Or maybe it was going too fast, they didn’t know.

For him, the kiss means ‘thank you’. Thank you for bringing me back. Thank you for remembering me even though it was practically impossible for you (or anyone else for that matter) to do it. Thank you for believing in my existence even though eveybody thought you were crazy. Thank you for convincing Scott and my dad and Malia that I actually was a real human being and not some idea that was stuck in your head.

It also means ‘you’re so smart’. Like you actually opened a rift through space and time to save me. And you were the one to know where I was and how to get to me. Once again, you figured it out. God, you are so smart, that’s probably my favorite thing about you.

It also means ‘I’ve been wanting to do this since I was a child’ and I don’t care that we’ve already kissed because right now I’m not having a panic attack, even though the feeling of your lips against mine could actually give me one. I have been dreaming of kissing you hundreds of times, in my dreams, in math class, in the morning or when I went to sleep, and now I’m finally doing it, I still don’t realize it’s really happening.

It also means ‘god, I missed you so much’ and now you’re actually in my arms so I’m probably never letting go of you. I finally found what’s my favorite feeling in the world, and it’s having your body pressed against mine while your hands are on my face and mine are on your waist.

Finally, it means ‘I love you and you don’t have to say it back’’. God, I love you so much I would die for you, but I know I wasn’t going to die in the Hunt, because I had to see your face once more first. Then, I could have died if it meant you were going to be safe. I love you so much I actually can’t believe that you love me back. And you don’t have to say it back, Lydia, because I know. I have known for a while, because the way you used to look at me changed, and I felt more alive than ever everytime your eyes met mine. And I knew, but I didn’t want to believe it, because it would practically impossible for Lydia Martin to actually love me, a pale boy with lots of bones and flannel shirts. But I knew, Lydia, and I know now, and it makes me so happy that I don’t have time to hear you say it, I just want you in my arms right now. You can tell me later though.

For her, the kiss means ‘I’m sorry’. I’m sorry I didn’t remember you earlier. But as soon as you left, I knew something was wrong, I knew someone was missing, and I knew that this someone was important to me. I’m sorry I didn’t convince everyone you were real on the first try. I’m sorry I almost doubted myself when it came to you.

It also means ‘I didn’t say it back, but I do’. Since i first kissed you, I knew. I didn’t know that I loved you, but I knew that something was different between us. I knew the way I looked at you had changed, and the way you looked at me was still the same loving, tender and sweet look you used to gave me since the third grade. But I was scared of admitting it to myself, because I was scared of the consequences and I was afraid of being weak.

It simply means ‘I love you’. God, I do. I love how you make me feel, like I can do everything I never thought I could. You make me feel like I could climb mountains, and bring the dead back to life. You make me feel more beautiful than I’ve ever felt in my whole life, inside and out, even when I’m screaming at the top of my lungs or when I have spent the night working instead of sleeping or when I have been stuck in a mental house or when I look like a zombie. And my favorite part, you make me feel smart and important. God, nobody ever made me feel smart, not even my parents because they thought it was ‘normal’ to be smart. You make me feel like I could win the Field’s medal and solve the Riemann hypothesis. You make me feel like I am the most important person in your eyes, and sometimes in the world. I love how sassy you are, even when we’re being attacked by zombie cowboys or nazi werewolves. I love how you’d do everything to save the people you love, even though you say you’re ‘just a human’ and you have no superpowers (I love how you always fight with a bat, I told you it was stupid but I secretly love it). I love how you always look out for us, all of us, and you feel like Atlas, because you don’t care about your problems, you just want to carry everyone’s problems on your shoulders. I love your smile. God, your smile is everything, it could light up the whole town. And your eyes. Your eyes are not brown, they are the most unique shade of hazel and everytime you look at me, I feel like you can see through my soul.

And it means ‘I missed you’. I’m not a fan of intimacy, but I missed you so much I couldn’t not touch you. I couldn’t wait. And I just had to run to you because you had been missing for 3 months and I have missed your face and your flannel shirts and your scent and your height and your hands and your smile and your everything about you. When I found your jersey in your room and your dad kept it, I almost cried because I wanted to keep it to myself so I could at least have your scent with me and you could be with me, even if it was not physically. I hated being alone. When you were there, you were my bestfriend, and I never felt lonely when I was with you. When you came back, as soon as we collided, I knew I would never be alone again. And as we were kissing, our bodies were almost intertwined but I still wanted to get closer to you. Because I missed you so much, and I finally got you back.

When they finally kiss, it feels like time has stopped. Or maybe it was going too fast, they didn’t know. But they knew that they had a lifetime to figure it out together.

i’m in love with the shape of you.
  • Summary: “It had been easy, for the first two or three weeks, to take things slow like they had agreed to when they started dating. (…) Now the problem was that even though Kara believed she had a good sense of self control, whenever Lena was around her, it seemed to run short.” Inspired by this tweet.
  • Pairing: Kara/Lena.
  • Rating: STRAIGHT UP SIN. +18
  • Beta’d by: Bia, who by the way forced me to write this. (@kinkylena)

It had been easy, for the first two or three weeks, to take things slow like they had agreed to when they started dating. Lena was chivalrous, gentle, sweet. All Kara could’ve wanted for in a partner. Most of their time together was spent in late night dates, drinking expensive wine and chinese takeout, maybe watching a bad movie, maybe playing chess (Lena insisted she wasn’t letting Kara win, that she had just improved but Kara didn’t believe a word she said), maybe just cuddling under a fuzzy blanket telling each other about their days. And of course, kissing. Now the problem was that even though Kara believed she had a good sense of self control, whenever Lena was around her, it seemed to run short.

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I can’t even begin to explain how satisfied I am with 4:47 “explanation”. Seriously.

IDK how Hart wanted to explain, but I’m 100% okay with this one. 

It has a meaning, a real and powerful meaning. Brennan already taught us that there’s no unique event in this universe. So, 4:47 being every turning page in Booth and Brennan’s lives, just speaks to my heart in so many ways.

4x26 - Brennan almost lost Booth. He survived. He had that dream, of the life she wrote in an alternative universe for them. Everything almost ended, but he survived and that beautiful shared dream opened all the doors they were trying to close about what they feel for each other.

5x22 - They literally went away. Were separated. He could have not come back She could have not come back. Something had to change, according to Booth. But, as beautifully well the episode title says, there’s a beginning in the end. Everything almost ended for them. But it was that “almost” that brought them back. It could have ended. But it didn’t. And as much as it hurt for everyone, was the step they needed to take to both understand what they had.

6x22 - Vincent was shot instead of Booth. Booth could have given that phone to Brennan. Booth could have been the one picking up that phone. And it’d be the end for them as we know them. It could have been the end when they gave that step into their relationship - because they couldn’t have erased it if things didn’t work out. In every single aspect, everything almost ended for them. But it’s all about that step, that climb - but what if it doesn’t? What if this is just the beginning of something beautiful, like it was?

7x07 - I can’t think of anything that changed more those two forever than the birth of their own daughter. There’s no bigger turning page for them. Having a baby? That changes you forever. And as Angela beautifully told in S5, you’re bound to that person forever because you have a human life in common. So yeah. It was the end in a way. B&B are forever partners in everything but in that moment they were SO MUCH MORE than that. they had their miracle.

7x13 and 9x01  - Well I’m putting these two together because we always interpreted it as Pelant’s being a little shit again and trying to harm our babies. (probably their idea back then not even going to deny) but looking now with the meaning they gave us? Brennan ran away with Christine from Booth. She did to him what her parents did to her. She let him baptize her, and disappeared with her. For 3 months, EVERYTHING changed. Everything could have ended. Booth lost them both. Brennan was living with that weight, knowing how much it hurt, but also trying to do the right, rational thing. They were never the same. He had to deal of losing part of his daughter growing up, of being left “out” of her plan, even though he doesn’t condone it - he knows it was necessary. And she had to deal with the fact that even being the same strong, independent human being that she always was, she is in fact bound to her partner and her daughter, in ways she didn’t expected it. Things could have not work out like they did - they do because it’s them. It’s always Booth and Brennan and their love will always be enough to survive anything life throws it - another case of almost being the end, but it wasn’t. 9x01 is in the same line of thought. Things could have ended so differently. It was Brennan’s faith in Booth, in what he always did for her, her love and trust in him. They were thrown such a big burden - FUCK YOU PELANT I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU - that made them question everything around both of them and inside themselves Yet, they pulled through. It didn’t end. Again.

(about 11x15, 7x13 and 11x01 you see the number but it’s not a moment nor an hour. It’s just there so yeah skipping those. Also. it’s just a number. Pffff do you think someone loses 30minutes in writing about 447? NOT ME. clearly. )

12x12 - I don’t think I even need to discuss this one. He almost lost her. She almost lost the thing that, in her mind, made her who she is. Both of them almost died, and they would leave their kids. their life. 30, 40, 50 years of years left full of things waiting for them. Everything almost ended, but it didn’t. And it doesn’t make them weaker, or more damaged. Makes them… Them. Booth and Brennan. As always, since the day 1, fighting for what’s right in the world, loving just a little bit too much in so many different ways, yet so similar in the end.

It almost ended. But it didn’t. And they’re rising again like they’re a phoenix. Not giving up on everything that united them on the first place. Fighting for the same things, working for the same ends, with the love and dedication they always have. Following their hearts.

This was B&B last 12 years. Pushing forward, loving, for all the reasons that really mattered, even when’s scary and you have so much to lose.

It almost ended. But it didn’t, not in even one time that 4:47 appeared. It’s scary sometimes because you have things to lose. But when you’re fighting for what’s right, for what/who you love, it’s worth it to push forward. It’s worth it to give that step. And sometimes, it’s good to remind yourself of that, of those moments where you could have lost. To never forget why it’s worth it. 

What makes life worthwhile. 

Bless this show.

My opinion of the moon signs
  • Aries: bro u get me. We both cry at least 28 times a day and lowkey hate having feelings. We can't stand showing people that we are actually big babies and we are too defensive but at LEAST WE GET EACH OTHER.
  • Taurus: ur always centered and calm and a lil bab but if you tell me I'm the only person you've told about something (that you've told everyone) one MORE TIME IM GOING TO SNAP.
  • Gemini: yes, I believe in aliens. No I don't think bigfoot has a vendetta against you. I don't get why you just told me your life story but your mother seems like a nice lady.
  • Cancer: you make me feel like a shitty person because I don't like feelings or being empathetic or putting effort towards other people. IT'S WHATEVER THO.
  • Leo: I see right thru you. I'm a Leo. I know why you are doing that. The Validations™. I know. It's me on the daily. You're doing good tho.
  • Virgo: IF YOU DO NOT CALM DOWN RIGHT NOW. They don't care that you said "you too" when they said "have a good meal". EVERY ONE DOES THAT. DONT WORRY ABOUT IT.
  • Libra: so hot. hot damg. Doesn't know how to pick movies or if they want a bottle or a can. Over compromising champion of the masses. Too nice to be mean to which is hard on me because I'm mean to those I love.
  • Scorpio: what you think you are- murder death fear me am evil. What u actually are- smol bean and afraid to be hurt again, does the same things that you did before that got u hurt in the first place though??
  • Sagittarius: NICE MAKING PLANS. #cancelled. ALWAYS. Also. Nice use of sarcasm to hide ur feels. JK IF YOU MAKE ONE MORE SARCASTIC REMARK ILL YELL. I'm already yelling tho...
  • Capricorn: emotional lil bab. Stop beating yourself up. Its okay to feel things and its okay to admit that you aren't having a good day. BUT IF YOU SASS ME ONE MORE TIME.
  • Aquarius: IF YOU DISTANCE URSELF ANYMORE YOULL BE ENTIRELY IN SPACE. I admire the fact that you can go a whole 24 hours (three years?!??) without crying. I can't achieve that but I have aspirations.
  • Pisces: S T R E S S. M E. O U T. if you do not like the choice. Why did you make it. You are the controller of ur own destiny. Ily but wyd.
Jealous

Requested: Can you do one where in y/n is screaming at shawn because shes so mad and jealous but shawn just laughs at her and its all cute and fluffy

Requested: Hey first of all I love your page 😍 it’s the best out here and your writings are sooo good. Can you please do one where Shawn and y/n are shopping and then Shawn mets his ex and y/n gets jealous and they fight but will be together at the end. I hope you understand what I meant. Love you ❤️❤️

Your name: submit What is this?

~~~

You are out shopping with Shawn in Toronto. It is a rare day that you’re able to spend with your boyfriend without all the craziness and busyness of life getting in the way. “Hey Shawn,” You hear a voice from slightly behind the two of you. Turning, you’re expecting to see a fan asking for a picture from Shawn, but recognition crosses his face.

“Hi Laur,” He says in surprise, a smile spreading across his face, and now you turn your attention to the girl and her friends. You recognize the one in the middle from old pictures you’ve seen on the internet. She’s Shawn’s ex and she’s gorgeous, no doubt. You don’t know how Shawn could possibly choose you over her. You wonder if he ever regrets it, if he ever sees pictures of her and misses her, or wishes he was still with her instead of with you. You always knew she was pretty, but you had never met her in person until today, and it wasn’t even intentional so you weren’t able to prepare yourself.

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katlady13  asked:

Hi! My birthday is April 24th and I'd love to read everlark where Peeta thinks he's lost Katniss somehow, like a misunderstanding or even some kind of accident, but everything works out in the end. Love the drama/angst, and I'm down for any rating (but let's be real, the smuttier the better bc it's my birthday lol). No infidelity please! Tytyty! You are awesome!

Originally posted by heybuckaroohowareyou

Happy Birthday! There is definitely some angst in this one. Thanks for having a birthday so we can all enjoy this great story! And thank you to @katnissdoesnotfollowback for writing and submitting it. She’s been a MAJOR contributor to this blog, as have many others, and we can’t thank her enough. Links to part one & part two if you haven’t read them yet. Enjoy! I know we did. 


Happy Birthday! Hope you enjoy this somewhat angsty story. Hugs and lots of love to you on your special day!

All’s Fair - Part 3

WARNINGS: RATED E for language, PTSD, and smut. Mostly the rating is for the smut. SMUT I SAY!

A/N: HR in this instance stands for Human Remains. There’s no gore or graphic violence in this, but there is a healthy dose of angst. Thank you @peetabreadgirl for pre-reading.

************************

My boots scrape the pavement as I stop to stare up and down the parking lot aisles. I find at least four Jeep-shaped vehicles under black covers and sigh, drop my bag on the pavement, and search through the pockets for my keys. Not even my car keys, either. Customs fucked up my packing job and I’m pretty sure they wound up back in my footlocker. I find the keys I need underneath a half empty bottle of Gatorade and unlock my trunk, rummaging around until my fingers find the canvas ribbon on my at home keychain. Yanking them out, I listen to the jingle of home with the distant growl of a C-130 spooling up its engines. The humid North Carolina air presses down on my lungs and I blink in the fading light.

It’s late. I’m exhausted and hungry. And the red REMOVE BEFORE FLIGHT tag on my keys is a one-two punch to the face. I don’t even know where he is right now. He was supposed to be home sometime last week, although I don’t know the exact date, but the fact that he wasn’t here to meet me means he was delayed somewhere. Or something far worse that I am not prepared to contemplate on four hours of shitty sleep on a cramped rotator flight and an empty stomach.

Pocketing my car keys, I slam my footlocker shut and lock it back up, hefting my bag back on my shoulder and hauling the trunk onto its wheels to continue my solitary trek. I hit the lock button on the key fob twice and hope my battery didn’t die while I’ve been gone. I’ve got jumpers, but no one I feel comfortable inconveniencing. Most of the others have already gone home. Prim couldn’t be here this time, unable to get away from med school. Mom’s too sick to travel. Gale’s still somewhere in Fallujah, I think. At least, that’s the last place I ran into him.

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HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

Once again, Taehyung won’t make it home for Christmas.

Originally posted by chimtae

word count: 3.9k
genre: angst/fluff [i know, i’m in shock too]

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thisloveisastateofgrace  asked:

Hi Katie! I have a question for you. Are you still anti-abortion in cases of rape, incest, or if the life of the mother is in danger? You've probably already answered these, so I'm sorry! But I was just curious as to what your opinion is. 😊

Hi! Thanks for asking! I’m always happy to re-explain my positions, especially on hard cases, because it gives me a chance to practice and to clarify.

Let’s take these one at a time, because they are all very complex.

Rape/Sexual Assault

Rape is wrong. Rape is horrible, evil, despicable…and any other words I can come up with. Rapists should be caught, put on trial, and punished to the fullest extent of the law.

Survivors of rape should be protected. They should be supported, loved, and cared for. They should have access to health care that they need, counseling, and support groups. They should have friends and family around them who love and care for them. If that isn’t the case, communities need to step up and fill those gaps.

We can all generally agree on these things. They aren’t controversial. Pro-life people, pro-choice people, conservatives, liberals, Republicans, Democrats, Libertarians…just about everyone. If someone doesn’t agree with those things, we stare at them like they’ve just grown a second head.

But what about the children of survivors of rape?

This is my friend Patti. We met doing pro-life work while I was in college out in California. She was conceived in rape. Her birth mother chose to place her for adoption, and she grew up loved and cared for. She says:

“I want to say that even though the circumstances of my conception were in violence and hatred, I am not my father, nor am I my mother. I am unique. I was created by a loving God and my life is so valuable. And so is the life of every baby conceived — valuable and a gift from God.“

This is Travon. She was conceived in rape. Her mother raised her instead of choosing adoption, and told her about who her father was after her 18th birthday. Today, she is a speaker, wife, and mother. She travels telling her story and advocating for children like her to be protected under the law.

This is Mary. Her mother had paranoid schizophrenia and was married to a man who also had a mental disability. When her mother was raped, the husband went to the police, but ultimately claimed Mary as his own to protect his wife’s reputation. Because of her mother’s schizophrenia, Mary was cared for by another couple, visiting her birth parents periodically. Eventually, when she was five years old, that couple adopted her.

(More stories at SaveThe1.com)

Do any of these people look like they were conceived in rape? What would that look like? My friend Patti told me that she has heard people refer to those conceived in rape as “devil spawn.” Should they have horns and tails? Should they carry pitchforks?

Or are they children? Teenagers? Adults? Mothers and fathers? Husbands and wives? People?

The circumstances of conception, no matter how violent, how terrible, do not reduce the value of the child conceived. If abortion is wrong because it kills a human being, then it is wrong no matter who that human being’s father is.

What about the mother? Like I said above, I am all in favor of resources and support for survivors of rape. I am all for counseling to help them process and heal. Abortion will not solve their problems. It will not take away their nightmares. It will not take away their fear, their pain. It will only take away the life of their child, who has no guilt in how he or she was conceived.

Meet Darlene. She was not only conceived in rape, but as a teenager she became a victim of child trafficking and became pregnant from rape herself. She says that in order to escape from her captor, she pretended to have an abortion. Now she is married with five children and two grandchildren.

Darlene, despite her own difficult childhood and the way she was forced into motherhood at a young age, has made it her life’s mission to protect the lives of children like her and her oldest child.

She says:

“I am so passionate about the value of every life; whether one is conceived with wine and roses, in a test tube or as a result of violence. I absolutely reject the utilitarian view that people are valuable only if they can contribute to society in arbitrarily contrived ways. We should all hold to the Declaration of Independence’s admonition that each of us is endowed by our Creator with certain inalienable rights: the right to life liberty and the pursuit of happiness. These God given rights are consecutive, not concurrent. Without the right to life, nothing else matters.“

I have included all of these stories here not because they prove my point. I include them because these are the real human beings we’re talking about when we talk about abortion in the case of rape. We need to remember these faces, these names, every time someone says “cases of rape are only 1% of abortions, we shouldn’t be a stickler over 1%.” Every time someone says “a pregnancy from rape is only a terrible reminder for the mother.” Every time someone says “abortion is okay for the same reason that rape is wrong, because of bodily autonomy.”

These are the people we’re talking about killing.

Pro-lifers know that abortion kills children and hurts women. So why should we abandon those women and children who have also been hurt by rape to the additional pain and death of abortion?

Incest

This is very similar to the case of rape, and many people put these two together. However, I gave incest its own section so I could deal with what does make it different.

In the case of incest, we have an extra layer of complexity that makes these cases exceptionally painful. In the case of incest, we usually have a young girl who is raped by a close family member, often her own father. She has been scarred in ways that someone who didn’t experience that can never understand. And now she’s pregnant, probably at a very young age.

What do we do?

First, we get her out of that situation as quickly as we can. We get her to a safe place, and we do everything we can to make her feel safe. We don’t want her to be worried about her rapist coming back for her, at least no more than she has to be.

We put her rapist in jail. We make sure that he is punished to the fullest extent of the law. Perhaps we even find comfort in knowing that in prison, he will be rejected even by other criminals for the nature of his crime.

But she’s still pregnant. And she’s still a child. What do we do?

We love and care for her and her child. We find a permanent home for her, through adoption or through other family members if possible. We give her power over the process as much as we can so she feels like she has some control. We talk to her about adoption and parenting, and we let her make the decision. If she chooses parenting, we work with her new guardians to make a plan for her welfare and the child’s. If she chooses adoption, we give her the opportunity to meet potential adoptive parents and choose the family that she wants her child to have. We give her the choice between open and closed adoption, so that she doesn’t feel like her child was taken from her.

We don’t kill her child.

Just like those conceived in rape, people conceived in incest are still people. They are human beings with the same right to life as any other human being. We cannot abandon them either.

If abortion is wrong because it kills a human being, then it is always wrong.

Health/Life of the Mother

This case is almost more complex, because here we get into the definition of abortion. For our purposes, I am defining abortion as a procedure that intentionally takes the life of the preborn child.

There is one case that comes the closest to abortion being necessary, and that is a tubal pregnancy. In these cases, the embryo implants in the fallopian tube. With current medical technology, we have no way to save the child. If we do not intervene, the child will grow, the tube will rupture, and the mother can die from hemorrhaging. So we have to intervene and remove the child from the fallopian tube.

I do not consider this an abortion. Our goal is not to kill the child, but to save the mother. If, someday, we found a way to save the child and the mother, we would do it. But currently, we can’t. A doctor’s job is to save as many patients as possible, but the loss of a patient does not mean the doctor is a murderer. He or she is only guilty of murder if the patient is intentionally killed.

This same reasoning applies to every other case. It is wrong to intentionally kill the child. However, if the child needs to be removed to save the mother’s life, we can do so. We just need to be sure that we are also concerned for the life of the child, and doing everything we can to save that child’s life as well.

Some will argue that late-term abortion is necessary to save mothers, but this makes no sense. Sure, and early delivery might save the life of the mother. But why should dismembering, poisoning, or beheading that child in the process do anything to improve the mother’s health?

For more on this from an actual doctor (which I am not), watch this video of an interview with Dr. Anthony Levatino. Dr. Levatino was an abortionist and is still an OB/GYN. He worked out of a regular practice rather than an abortion clinic, and so he would routinely do an abortion in one room and then talk to a mother who was keeping her child in the other. He saw patients with complicated and high-risk pregnancies. He knew, even then, that abortion was not necessary. In fact, as he says in the video, for late-term patients an abortion is more dangerous than an early delivery. A late-term abortion might take up to three days, while a c-section delivery could take an hour. If the mother’s life is truly in that much danger, which would you choose?

Every case is different when we’re talking about high-risk pregnancies, but we can tackle each of them in a pro-life way by following a simple rule: treat both mother and child as patients. If we are doing that, we will find the best approach that saves the most lives.

I hope this helps! Feel free to ask for any clarification on anything I’ve said here.

Fighting Panic

Requested: I was wondering if I could request a caring Shawn one where maybe you two get into a fight and you leave and then you have a panic attack or something and you call him and even though you two were fighting he still comes over and cares for you? Sorry if that didn’t make sense lol

Masterlist

Your name: submit What is this?

~~~

“Stop, y/n.” Shawn says, his voice full of anger. “You can’t keep holding it against me. It’s my career, my job, don’t you understand?”

You swallow hard, trying to keep your emotions in check. “I’m not holding it against you, Shawn. I just need to know you’re not forgetting about me!”

“I’m not, I don’t know why you would say that!” He says, his voice just as loud and terrifying as it was a minute ago. You can’t match his tone. You don’t know how to scream back at him, and you don’t want to.

“You’re always busy, and even when you’re not, you’re thinking about all the things you need to get done, which I get, but I feel like you don’t even remember that I’m here, that I’m your girlfriend.” You reply, honestly.

“How could I forget, y/n? I can’t forget, and I don’t.” He spits back.

You only wait a beat before replying, still trying to absorb his last words, “Do you want to?” You ask, your voice full of fear and sadness.

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exo shitpost #2: exo at the carnival
  • junmyeon: alright assholes go wild
  • chanyeol: hoo boy i'm going to win me some prizes
  • baekhyun: you suck ass at everything what could you possibly win
  • chanyeol: that thing with the hammer
  • sehun: your arms are two limp noodles lmao
  • chanyeol: fuck you
  • luhan: your weak ass can't even get it past the halfway mark
  • chanyeol: i don't deserve this verbal abuse you try it
  • luhan: what. the fuck.
  • luhan: it doesn't work
  • sehun: excuses are for the cheap
  • luhan: this is bullshit, this game is rigged, and we are going home
  • -
  • yifan: ok junmyeon let us get wild
  • junmyeon: would you fuck off i will not ride a roller coaster
  • yifan: why
  • junmyeon: because i may shit myself
  • junmyeon: but also because i don't want to be seen next to your crusty ass
  • yifan: why did i ever love you
  • -
  • jongdae: fuck yes corndogs
  • kai: holy shit kyungsoo take it slow
  • kyungsoo: i am a hungry bitch today don't speak to me
  • jongdae: did you really just inhale that entire corndog
  • kyungsoo: it's not that big
  • kai: i can personally assure you he's seen bigger
  • jongdae: wow kyungsoo, king of the dick
  • kyungsoo: if you don't shut up right now i might eat you
  • -
  • zitao: fuck i lost my watch, i must have left it on the ferris wheel
  • minseok: you irresponsible fuck what did i tell you about leaving your goddamn shit everywhere
  • zitao: here, take my ice cream and put it on your tits because you need to chill
  • minseok: /rubbing nosebridge/ how much did that stupid thing cost
  • zitao: it was gucci
  • minseok: i just pissed my pants
  • zitao: relax jethro i have like ten more at home
  • minseok: what
  • zitao: eleven including the one i gave to candy
  • minseok: you have eleven gucci watches, one of which is for your dog, and you still gave me a fucking slurpee for my birthday
  • zitao: at least it was a jumbo size
  • minseok: you're dead to me
  • -
  • yixing: life is fantastic
  • kyungsoo: you're a cheery mf today aren't you
  • yixing: why are you so pessimistic, go inhale another corndog
  • kyungsoo: i can't eat too many, i'm corn intolerant
  • yixing: that's not a thing
  • kyungsoo: i'm also mildly allergic to dogs
  • yixing: that's,,,, not how it works
  • luhan: don't bother this is from the same guy who didn't know how dna works
  • kyungsoo: no more kimchi spaghetti for you
  • -
  • sehun: cotton candy BITCH
  • chanyeol: this is your fifth one, stop it
  • sehun: i am in love with this shit
  • chanyeol: diabetes says hello
  • sehun: i might dye vivi this colour
  • chanyeol: what the fuck she's not an easter egg
  • sehun: doggosthetic
  • chanyeol: s e h u n that's abuse pLEASE DON’T DO THAT
  • -
  • yifan: aw fuck
  • junmyeon: what now you overgrown baby
  • yifan: i'm too tall for the bumpercars
  • junmyeon: too bad
  • yifan: this is no fair
  • junmyeon: go ride something else you ingrate
  • yifan: that's it i'm putting you on the death drop
  • junmyeon: you better freaking not
  • yifan: hi yes one ticket for the death drop
  • junmyeon: nonononono im sure i don't meet your height requirement eheheh
  • yifan: don't worry dear, they have seats for shrimps like you!
  • junmyeon: WU YI FAN YoU fUckeR
  • yifan: enjoy bitchy!!
  • junmyeon: YoU haVe a laWSUiT oN YoUR handS
  • -
  • baekhyun: OFF TO THE HOUSE OF MIRRORS WE GO
  • jongin: i love the fact that i still look hot in all of these
  • jongdae: hey baekhyun this mirror's got me looking just like you
  • baekhyun: how so?
  • jongdae: makes me look ugly as shit
  • jongin: im piSSing
  • baekyun: this kind of commentary is the reason no one loves you
  • -
  • luhan: haunted house, leggo
  • zitao: fuck this shit i'm out
  • minseok: nah i'm in let's do it
  • yixing: zitao i'll protect you
  • zitao: too late i'm already crying
  • minseok: oh ShiT i am Spooked
  • zitao: AHAHADSHJF UHUHUHUH WAHHDHJFF
  • luhan: his soul has left him
  • yixing: you made it taozi, i’m proud of you
  • zitao: thanks yixing, the only thing that helped me through it was the fact that those goblins back there kinda resembled you and it was really funny
  • yixing: wow, this is basically bullying!
  • -
  • junmyeon: well boys, it's been fun
  • kyungsoo: no it has not
  • junmyeon: but we must head back to hell
  • yifan: he means home
  • junmyeon: trust me, i mean hell
[M] C’mon baby, work for it

Pairing: Jikook
Word count: 3.1K
Genre: Smut|Warning: Daddy kink; slight degradation


Jungkook was with Taehyung. Again. And Jimin was beginning to think that he was increasingly spending more and more time with him just to rile him up. Every time he caught the two playing together, he would pretend as if he didn’t notice Jungkook trying to steal subtle glances at him and look away pouting with a slightly disappointed look on his face when he realized that Jimin wasn’t paying any attention to him. That, of course, was a lie. Jimin was always paying attention to Jungkook. Always. He was always watching him and was usually the first to approach him at times when it seemed like he needed some help. And he was always the first one to console him and shower him in praises whenever he was feeling down. It’s almost like he had a radar built-in in him, one that could detect when anything was a little off with Jungkook, and make it possible for him to cheer up his boyfriend. Jungkook, although he didn’t voice it very often, was very appreciative of Jimin’s actions. Frankly, it wouldn’t be a lie to say that he leeched off Jimin’s love and attention, as when Jimin wasn’t present with him at any time, he would crave him, almost like a child craves his mother when she’s gone for too long. And sometimes, he would even pretend to be sad just so he could feel Jimin’s arms around him, holding him and whispering sweet nothings into his ear as he coerced him to sleep.

But on other days, days like today, he craved a special kind attention. He would act naughty with his hyung, grinding up against him when he knew that no-one was watching, and sneaking little touches here and there when they walked around in public. Jungkook liked to be a bad boy you see, and he liked to be punished for it. He loved the thrill of anticipating Jimin’s actions towards him. He loved it when Jimin punished him so hard- fucked him so hard, that he was unable to walk the next day. Today too, was one of those days. Knowing how much Jimin despised him spending time with anyone else but him, knowing what jealousy did to him, he purposefully decided to spend the whole day with Taehyung, not sparing Jimin so much as even a small “hi”. So when he noticed Jimin walking into the living room late in the afternoon, he hoped for him to drag him into their bedroom and get to business, but he couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed when Jimin outright ignored him. Not breaking his calm, he played with Taehyung a little more, glancing at Jimin every now and then. But each time, his irritation grew as he saw Jimin immersed in his phone and ignoring him completely. After a while, however, he decided to screw being calm and after leaving Taehyung with a slightly confused face, pulled Jimin into their shared room and slammed the door shut.

“Woah there Jungkook-ah,” Jimin warned. “What’s gotten into you?”

You,” Jungkook hissed in annoyance. “You’ve been ignoring me all day today.”

Smirking internally, Jimin replied, “Ignoring you? What are you talking about Jungkookie? I would never ignore you!”

“You say you would never ignore me, yet you’ve been doing it the whole day!” Jungkook screamed. “I’ve been trying to get you to pay attention to me the entire day, and all you’ve done is act as if I don’t even exist, and ignore me!”

“Get me to pay attention to you? Jungkook-ah, what do you mean?”

“Make you jealous! I’ve been trying to make you jealous the whole day, you ignorant imbecile!”

Bingo

Taking small steps towards Jungkook, Jimin spoke with a low and intimidating voice, “What did you say? You’ve been trying to make me jealous?”

“I- I’m sorry, hyung,” Jungkook cowered, Jimin’s deep voice making blood rush to his nether regions.

Jimin slowly started backing away and as he approached the door, made a swift turn to face away from Jungkook. Just as he was about to turn the door handle, Jungkook spoke again.

“Punish me.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I don't watch voltron (I plan to but haven't had the time yet), so could you please explain the sheith discourse? Idk anything about any of the characters specifically, but just based on appearances I've always liked that better than klance.

Oh my sweet summer child, I wish you well if you ever decide to brave through this fandom hell. Okay so I’ll sum this up because honestly I do not wish to talk about this discourse anymore.

Everything started shortly after the show aired on Netflix on June 10th. Due to Keith’s and Shiro’s close bond, familiarity with one another and always attempting to protect each other, they became a popular ship. So popular in fact that Josh Keaton, Shiro’s voice actor, acknowledged this on his blog and even coined the name for the ship: sheith.

It didn’t take long until he and Neil Kaplan, Zarkon’s voice actor, started mentioning sheith on their twitters as well. To top it off, Chris Palmer, who directs the show, also made this Shiro drawing with the description “Shiro loves you, baby” and tagged “he is looking at Keith.” Honestly with so many people involved with the show (even if the VAs aren’t directly involved, it was still nice) showing support for the ship, and considering Montgomery and dos Santos who previously worked on The Legend of Korra are producers in Voltron, a lot of people believe they could become canon like Korra and Asami.

Things blew up however when SDCC happened in July. Tim Hedrick, Montgomery and dos Santos who were at the event were asked by a fan about the ages of the characters, since the only clue we had was the DreamWorks’ site saying they’re teenagers. Pidge is 14, Shiro is 25 at most and everyone else is late teens.

However, many fans interpreted it as proof that Shiro is factually 25 and the other three are 17 and claim that Shiro/Paladin ships are pedophilia, wrong, incorrect and a bunch of other nasty things. They use the video as confirmation and refuse each and any other evidence to contrary, even when it comes from the same people that were in the video. Some even attack the voice actors over it, which is why Josh Keaton stopped talking about ships altogether on Twitter. The truth is, most people before and after the video saw and still see Hunk, Keith and Lance as being 18-19 and Shiro as 20-22 at most, not 25 since he doesn’t even look that old.

There is a whole lot more to this story, including but not limited to the fact that the official comic still mentions they’re five teenagers even after the SDCC event, Josh Keaton confirmed on twitter that ages were never brought up during recording and how Hedrick, Montgomery and dos Santos refuse to answer any all questions regarding the ages, and someone found a video prior to the age video where Montgomery talked about Shiro being a student, not an instructor as people against the ship kept mentioning. Recently Pidge’s voice actor also snapchatted about Shiro/Keith and Shiro/Keith/Lance. Last week it was revealed that the garrison where the paladins previously studied at is college like education and a military base as well, meaning they couldn’t be younger than 18.

Tbh the whole thing is a mess, the only thing we know for sure is that the creators themselves apparently never gave this too much thought in the first place because they wanted people to see the characters as being the age they believe them to be. And now they either refuse to talk about it anymore or contradict each other in what they have to say about it, but antis refuse to stop and continue harassing shippers and the ship tags daily with violent threats and name calling.

Incidentally, NYCC is coming up this week and the same three crew members will there. It is speculated that more fans will ask them about the ages and I’m already dreading the next wave of shitstorm coming this friday.

For more about Shiro/Paladin discussions, this post is a good post about it.

Hoodie

Y'all y'all y'all y'all guess who’s started writing fic!This is a monster idek where it came from but it came so here ya go.Also, I’m going to be cool and thank betas and things so a s/o to @ghostiemakingposties and shradha(who is sensible and is not on this site) for all the help I love you.
Constructive criticism is always appreciated! Also, first fic so be nice. Spread the love,y'all!

~
It’s soft and fluffy and the first time Magnus sees it,he has to backtrack and take a closer look.He walks towards the grey lump slowly,hardly daring to believe what it could be.
And really,when he realises and picks it up and maybe (slightly) nuzzles into it,he can’t even blame himself.It’s just so squashy and smells so Alec and as he sniffs it(unashamed),he can just imagine his boyfriend sitting in a couch,curling that huge 6 foot frame into a small ball,cozy and comfortable,maybe reading a book (preferably with Magnus by his side).
The image in his head makes him grin and before he can think twice about it (and possibly do the right thing) he gives the hoodie one last sniff and swiftly folds it and keeps it in his shelf.
.
The first time he does it, it’s an almost unconscious decision.He’s just so
tired and he can still hear the voice of the old lady who came to him for help ringing in his head.He can hear the disappointment in her words when he told her that he just couldn’t do it and if it’s one thing Magnus hates more than homophobes,sexists,racists or just general assholes, it’s not being able to help a client.
He walks into his home and makes his way to his room to change into something comfortable ,once again cursing the Clave’s uncanny ability to keep Alec busy when Magnus needs him the most.He’s about to call his boyfriend,just to hear his voice (they’re such saps and he knows it and he loves it) as he’s ruffling through his shelf,when he spots it out of the corner of his eye.And really, no-one’s there around to blame him when he quickly pockets his phone,takes out the article of clothing and smells it.And as Alec’s scent washes over him and along with it,a wave of calmness, it’s only a matter of a few seconds before he’s changed into it along with a pair of pajamas.
.
He’s taken to wearing the hoodie around the house.Sometimes,when the day brings difficult clients or he does a particularly exhausting piece of magic and Alec can’t make it to the loft because he’s too busy at the Institute.
On those days,he comes back home and after being dramatic about Alec’s absence for about ten minutes and going about his usual pre-bed routine(something that he makes sure to do because once,when he forgot,the next morning saw glitter on his sheets and glitter’s an absolute bitch to get off of anything),he settles for the next best thing after Alec’s physical presence next to him or under him.
He never, ever wears it around Alec,though.He doesn’t even mention it to him.Maybe because he’s scared Alec might want it back or possibly because Magnus likes having this piece of his boyfriend just for himself that he can cuddle with after a hard day and really, without this acceptable substitute,where would he be when his boyfriend can’t make it to his arms at night?
So a few weeks later when they’re lying down in Magnus’s bed, inbetween all the forehead-kisses and nose-nuzzles and the whispered sweet nothings, when Alec asks him whether he’s seen his grey hoodie,Magnus replies in the negative with a suggestion of “Why don’t you check at the Institute again?”
Alec debates the idea of Izzy throwing it away because It’s horrifying,Alec and she’s been known to have disposed of Alec’s ‘horrifying’ clothes in the past and Magnus humours him with a “I wouldn’t blame her.You do have a rather terrible sense of fashion.” and to the sound of Alec’s indignant reply of “It was extremely comfortable.” and the steady thump of a beloved heartbeat against his ear,Magnus falls asleep,content in the knowledge that this is one night where he has the real deal.
.
Really,Magnus should have known that it was only a matter of time before his boyfriend found out.
.
It happens on a rainy evening.Alec,Jace,Izzy and Clary are hunting down a Shax demon when the skies open up.They’re too far from the Institute but they need to find shelter because it looks like this might turn out to be a real storm.So obviously (obviously),they go to Magnus’s.And if Alec was planning on going there after the mission anyway,this just helped his cause.
They climb up the stairs and reach his floor to see Magnus opening his door.On hearing the noise,the warlock turns around and sighs on seeing these four drenched teenagers,whom he may or may not love.
(He loves one of them a little more than the rest but don’t tell that to anyone.)
As they traipse into the living room,Magnus waits at the door for all of them to enter.
And if he just so happens to share a short kiss with the tallest one,nobody saw.
(That’s a lie because everyone saw and simultaneously groaned and the only reason the kiss was short was because of Jace’s huffed “Magnus, we’re all drenched and freezing so can you turn up the heat in here and then kiss your boyfriend senseless?”)
He obliges.
Honestly,he should have possibly had some forethought when in reply to Alec’s “Can I borrow a t-shirt?This one’s drenched,” he says “You can take what you want from my shelf.”
(Actually,he did have forethought.He was thinking about Alec removing his wet t-shirt to put on a new one.)
(It must be noted here that Magnus is more than just borderline gratuitous.)
So when Alec comes out of his room,holding a small,grey,rather familiar bundle in his hand, Magnus is speechless.
(He does, however,notice that Alec has,infact,not yet changed and is still wearing a wet t-shirt.)
“Magnus,” Alec starts.”Is this what I think it is?”
Honestly,Magnus can’t be blamed if he responds with a “Depends.What do you think it is?”
And Jace,clueless clueless Jace just
has to open his mouth and go “Hey, isn’t that the hoodie you were looking for?”
Of course,because everyone has to put their ten cents into their discussion,Izzy incredulously says “You accused me of throwing it out.”
And because this conversation is apparently no longer theirs,Jace pitches in with a “To be fair,Iz,you did say it was terrible.”
And Clary, bless her ,being the only sensible person in the room(apart from Alec.Alec is extremely sensible.Alec in a wet t-shirt is also extremely sensible. Magnus is easily distracted.) gets off the sofa with a clap of her hands and a “Wow,would you look at that,it isn’t raining anymore.Looks like we can leave.Thanks Magnus!”
This proclamation is followed by the redhead shepherding Jace and Izzy out the door amidst their protests of “It’s pouring out there.”and “But my hair isn’t properly set yet.It’s going to get frizzy if it gets too wet.”
The latter is Jace’s contribution and Magnus can hear the sounds of Clary telling him to get over it you big baby and after the door shuts,the apartment is deafening in its silence.
There’s something in Alec’s eyes and Magnus can’t seem to figure out what it is.This worries him because at this point, they’ve come to be able to read each other’s emotions pretty easily.
They look at eachother,never breaking eye contact.During the entire interaction between his siblings,Alec had unfolded the bundle and realised that it is,in fact,what he thought it was.
“You said you didn’t know where it was.”
Alec says it neutrally, unaccussing,as a statement.
“I may have lied.”
Magnus doesn’t intend for that to come out as blunt as it did,but he can’t take back what he’s already said.
“Why?”
That’s it.That’s all Alec says.Just that single word.
And maybe it’s the fact that the question sounded so innocent or that Alec’s looking at him with this indistinguishable look in his eyes or maybe that he’s still in that damn t-shirt,but the next thing Magnus knows, he’s telling Alec the whole story.
How he found it that morning when Alec had to leave in a rush because of the call from the Institute,how he was initially going to return it but didn’t,how he wore it without even realising it the first time and how it became a regular thing.
And somewhere towards the end of his story,Alec drops the hoodie on the counter,makes his way towards him,cups his face in his hands and whispers Keep it.
When they kiss, it’s new and tender and he’s so full of love,Magnus might burst.
(He is pleasantly surprised by the turn this conversation has taken)
(When he peels Alec’s t-shirt off, it’s obviously because he doesn’t want his boyfriend to catch a cold.)
(Obviously.)
The hoodie lies on the kitchen counter,forgotten for now.
They’re too busy to care about clothes.
.
Magnus does,in fact,keep the hoodie.
The first time Alec sees him in it,his siblings are, unfortunately, around.

anonymous asked:

Hi, could you do a fic where Spideypool are a secretly married couple and have to hide the fact from citizens /enemies when they are dp&sp ?

It’s been so long, and the reason is, I GOT INTO UNIVERsITY!! Yay!! I’m gonna try and pump some of these out, but yay!!

Peter stumbled into the Avengers building, coffee cup in hand, barely awake.  Tony had called him in extra early, which was unsurprising. Ever since he had started working for stark industries, he was called in either for work business, or superhero business. Tony was the only one who knew about his double life, so it was touch and go when he walked into the building.
Peter let himself in, punching in the code to the lab tiredly.  He froze when he saw the Avengers standing around tensely. He clutched his cup to his chest and resisted the urge to pull down the mask he knew wasn’t there. They all paused in their conversation to stare at Peter until the silence was too awkward and he had to laugh nervously.
“Peter,” Tony said, waving his hand at him to come into the room. “We’re in the middle of something, but you can just come in and work. Just stay quiet over there, okay kid? I need that thing fixed.”
Peter nodded and swallowed down the feeling that he had made a mistake. Was he supposed to come in uniform? He sat in the corner and put his headphones in, but he could feel Natasha and Clint’s eyes boring into his back.  
Steve cleared his throat. “Okay, so we are in unanimous agreement about what we discussed?”
Out of the corner of his eye, Peter could see a few hesitant nods.  He pulled out his toolbox and started quietly working, even though he had finished this project weeks ago.  
“Good, then I guess, let’s bring him in.” He could sense a hardness in Steve’s voice that Peter recognized as dislike. He had a sinking feeling in his gut, even before the door opened and Wade’s familiar voice.
“Hi, team! I brought snacks!” Peter turned to see the bright leather of Wade’s Deadpool suit, and groaned a bit, pushing himself into the corner more. Wade hadn’t spotted him yet, but he knew his situation would be a hundred times more embarrassing when he did.
“Okay, listen pal, just because your working with us doesn’t make you part of our team,” Clint grumbled
Wade stepped forward and laughed obnoxiously. “Gee, that’s rich coming from you, cupid.”
Peter felt himself involuntarily tense. Clint was an okay guy, but he and Wade were not on good terms. He resisted the urge to turn around and tell Clint to keep his bitter remarks to himself, but Natasha beat him to it.
“Boy’s please, your making our guest uncomfortable.” He felt a tight grip on his shoulder. Oh god. Peter shrunk into himself as Natasha gave him a look, and recognition flicked across Wade like a light globe.
“Oh, this is just too good!” He laughed clapping his hands together and rubbing them cunningly as he walked around the table to stand by Peter’s hip. Peter glanced at him, trying to give Wade his best warning look, but as per usual, it had no effect.
“Where are my manners? I’m the Deadpool of your dreams. And you are the handsome beauty of my dreams. I’m digging this nerdy college boy look baby! It’s really turning my floppy drive into a hard disk if you know what I mean!”  

Peter felt embarrassment crawl up his neck as Wade regarded him. The room paused again and Steve piped up.  

“I’m not quite sure what that means but please, let’s get to the issue at hand, and leave Tony’s employee’s out of it.”
“Why Captain of course, but there’s nothing I’d like more to have my hand on Tony’s employee. Peter, is it?” Wade leaned down to speak to Peter, tiptoeing his gloved fingers across the desk.  
Peter sighed. Wade absolutely loved doing this, pretending that they didn’t know each other. He liked having a special secret all to himself.  
“Don’t worry baby boy, I know that you already know me. I’m like, big news now or whatever.”
Peter felt the corner of his mouth twitch up.  He turned back to his table, as they started discussing “important” things that they needed Wade for.  
Wade wasn’t listening, even though Peter was. Wade was too busy smiling at Peter and watching him tinker around with scraps.  
Once the meeting was over (Peter assumed it was over, because Bruce had stormed out, and Thor was now trying figure out how to eat the doughnuts Wade had brought) Wade turned back to him with a cheeky grin.
“So baby, now that all that stuffy business is over, howsabout we go out for some grub! As you can see by the god currently stuffing his face, I have great food taste. I’d love to take you out and treat you well, baby.”
Peter smiled looking at him and lowering his voice. “I thought I was cooking tonight? I bought ingredients yesterday.”
“They’ll stay good for one more night Petey, let’s eat out tonight! Now that you’ve got a high-tech job, I think we should celebrate!”
Peter snorted and set down his screwdriver. “We can’t go out, Aunt May is visiting tomorrow remember? The house is a total mess hun.”
Wade pouted and tugged on Peter’s sleeve like he did when he was trying to get his own way. Even after a couple of years, Peter still couldn’t resist it.
“Fine, if you go home right now, and vacuum, we can go out for dinner.” Peter leaned closer and dropped his voice even lower, just the way he knew Wade liked. “And then we can get cozy in bed with dessert and watch the next episode of whatever show you want.”
Wade moaned and wrapped his arms around Peter’s shoulders whispering into his ear “This is why I married you.”
Peter made a mock-offended sound. “Wade, I married you. Now go vacuum, please.”

Wade was standing on the sidelines, next to the one and only Captain America, ogling at his husband’s ass in tight spandex. No matter how many times he woke up next to Peter, his sweet ass still blew Wade away.
“Good god, that is a sweet goddamn ass. Oh, bless.” He watched as Peter flipped in and out of buildings, being the first part of their four-part attack plan against some bad guy. Wade wasn’t really listening, he was only there to make sure Peter was safe, and to watch his amazing body.  
Steve looked back at him with a frown. Wade rolled his eyes.
“C'mon Cap! I know you’re all about righteousness and whatever, but don’t tell me you don’t sometimes have a peek! It’s natural man, every red-blooded male does it yo!”
Wade ignored the skeptical look the hero gave him and clapped him on the back. “Nothing is as good as Spidey’s ass, though, by god. I’ve never seen anything so beautiful, and I doubt I ever will.”
Steve looked uncomfortable, shifting his shield in his hand.  
“I don’t appreciate that kind of crude conversation. Aren’t you…married.”
“Oh yeah! I’m so married! Married hard!” Wade ripped off his glove and showed his ring for emphasis. Peter and Wade had bought it together, and for once, looking down at his rumpled skin actually made him feel proud. The gold nestled there reminded him of Peter’s vows, of his promises to love and cherish him, every part of him, even the parts that Wade didn’t like.  
The memory made Wade’s heart squeeze and made him smile goofily. When he looked back up, Cap was giving him an incredibly strange look. Wade didn’t really care.  
Peter landed on the wall next to wades head, signaling the second phase of their plan. Cap sprung into action, diving into the battle as Wade moved over to scrape his husband off the wall.  
Peter laughed, swinging around him before noticing his bare hand.

“What’s this then?” Peter challenged with a smile. “A wedding ring? We’ve been rendezvousing this whole time and you’re married? I can’t believe it.”
“Yes, it’s true. I’m married to the most beautiful, funny and smart man in all the world! He has the most bangin’ bod, well, second only to you.”  
Peter snickered, taking the moment alone to twine his fingers with Wade’s and play with the ring.  
“He sounds like the luckiest guy in the world.”
“He will be tonight. I’m making pasta.”
Peter laughed, patting his head as Wade put his glove back on. “Well, I’m jealous. And busy. If we keep trapezing like this we are going to get found out.”
“I like how taboo this is baby.” Wade said, wiggling his eyebrows, “What do you say, after this, do you wanna get out of here? Go somewhere a little more private? We can have a bath together? There will be wine and Ben and Jerry’s.”
Peter smiled, placing a chaste kiss on Wade’s mouth before climbing up the wall. “Sweetie, you had me at bath.”  

Into the Water

Tony Stark X Reader

A/N: I don’t know what brought this idea on? Maybe because I’m watching “The Impossible” on Netflix, and wondered how the hell they held their breath? I can barely hold mine underwater for like 10 seconds lol BTW I have 2 more fics that are almost done!

Summary: Reader has an accident after a nasty fight with Tony…

Warnings: Car accident, angsty as fuuuck, swearing, panic, death (??)

 BTW the format got a little fucked up! Sorry!

Originally posted by teapotsandroses

“He’s just being a dick, Mom!” I cried into the phone, driving down the highway. “He’s so fucking stubborn! I just want him to be safe, Mom! He’s going to end up killing himself if he keeps being so reckless!”

Tears were running down my face, lights streaking quickly by as I drove towards my mother’s house in New Jersey. I had left the tower after a huge fight with Tony in the lab. He had broken up with me, because I asked him not to go on a mission that they had no information about, which sparked a fight. He had been pulling all-nighters, again, and barely eating. It was not safe for him to go on a dangerous mission when he hadn’t had a proper night’s sleep or meal.

“Oh, Honey.” My mom sighed into the phone, “You two will make up. You’ve been through worse than this. Come stay the night, and you can call him in the morning.”

“I hope so,” I sniffed, wiping under my eyes, “I don’t want to lose him.”

“Oh, baby girl, you won’t. Just let him cool off, and come snuggle your lonely, old mother.” She chuckled, “Now take a few breaths, and get off the phone. I hate it when you talk and drive. I will see you in a bit.”

“I will. Bye, mom, I love you.” I hung up the phone and focused back on the road.

Tony and I had been together for a little over five years. We had our ups and downs. Mostly ups… but ugly downs. Like tonight’s fight. Tony had been working in the lab, again, and I was sitting in his chair reading a book. He was in the middle of tinkering with one of his many suits when he mentioned that he was going to leave in the morning for a mission.

“Tony, you haven’t slept in two weeks. Are you sure a mission is a good idea? Where are you even going?” I wasn’t trying to start anything. I was genuinely worried.

“Seriously, Y/N? I’m an Avenger. We go out on missions.” He snapped, throwing his hands up, “Anyways, what would you know? You’re not even an Avenger. I’m pretty sure you don’t even know how to shoot a gun.”

“Keep it up and I will show you just how well I can handle a gun.” I muttered, setting my book down and crossing my arms. “What is wrong with you? Why are you being a dick?”

“For fuck’s sake, Y/N!” He yelled, coming to stand right in front of me, “I’m sick of you nagging me all of the time about what I do! You knew what you were getting yourself into when we started dating!”

Nagging you?” I stood up, pushing the chair back, “I don’t want to see you get yourself killed, Tony! Ever since Steve and Bucky came back from Wakanda, all you do is hole up in this lab. You don’t eat, you don’t sleep, and you avoid everyone! You don’t take care of yourself!”

“You’d avoid them, too, if Barnes had killed your parents!” He screamed, face turning red and eyes cold, “He killed my parents, Y/N!”

“That was HYDRA, Tony.” I sighed, running my hands through my hair in frustration, “Bucky was brainwashed by HYDRA. The Winter Soldier and Bucky are two different people.”

“So you’re defending him, then?” He scoffed, turning around and walking back to the suit he was tinkering with, “Why don’t you just go date him then! Seems like you two have been getting pretty cozy, lately, anyways!”

“Seriously?” I couldn’t believe it… “You think I’m getting ‘cozy’ with Bucky? Do you really think that little of me, Tony?”

“God, you’re so fucking dramatic!” He turned back around, leaning against one of his many work benches, “I don’t know what to think.”

I shook my head, angry tears pricking my eyes, “Well, I’m not the one who strays in this relationship, anyways.” I rushed towards the door, needing to cool off.

He was faster, stepping in front of it, effectively blocking my exit. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

I looked down, wringing my hands together as a surge of nervousness washed over me. “Tony…”

“No, Y/N.” He frowned, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the door, “Tell me what the fuck you mean by ‘I’m not the one who strays’. Do you think I cheat on you?”

“No, Tony. Just forget it.” I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to make the tears stay in my eyes.

“Why the fuck are we in a relationship if you don’t trust me, huh?” He demanded. I could feel his gaze boring into me, anger rolling off of him in waves. “Clearly we’ve been wasting our time.”

There was a sharp pain in my chest at his words. I looked up, teary eyes making contact with his hard ones, “Just forget it, okay? You made your point. I’m going to bed.”

“No.” He shouted, making me jump, “Clearly you have something to say, so fucking say it.”

“Fine!” I snapped, pushing my pointed finger against his shoulder, “You accuse me of getting cozy with Barnes, when in reality, I’m not the one getting cozy with other people! I’m nice to him, because nobody else is! You, on the other hand, flirt with any female you come into contact with. You are the one who stays out all hours of the night, you are the one who comes home smelling like a bar, and you are the one who’s being an absolute asshole, right now!” The tears started falling. “Is breaking up something you want? Because I want to work, whatever the fuck this fight is, out. But only if you are willing to pull your head out of your ass, shut the fuck up, and listen to me!”

“Get the fuck out.” He screamed, slapping my hand away from his shoulder. “Breaking up is something I want. Go pack your shit and get the fuck out of my tower.”

“Tony-”

“GO.”

So I did.

After only ten minutes of driving, I had already come to the conclusion that the fight was stupid. That was why I had called my mom. She always knew how to make me feel better. Plus, her house was only a few hours away, so why not go see her?  

Then, in a few days, I could come home and-

“FUCK!”

_____

Oh my god, my head…

Shit. I must have crashed my car. There was another car… I think it swerved into my lane. I think… Why are my legs so cold? What the fuck is that noise?  I opened my eyes, and a wave of panic rushed through my veins. My legs were cold because there was fucking water rushing into my car. My car was under water.

               “Shit, shit, shit!” I looked around, assessing my surroundings. Think, Y/N, think!

               I must have swerved off the bridge I was driving over. What happened to the other car? Do they know I’m down here? I tried to remove my seatbelt. I yanked and pulled, but the belt wouldn’t come undone. The button was working but the belt was stuck, and the car had locked my belt when the crash happened. What the fuck do I do? What do I do? Where’s my phone?

               My phone was, thankfully, still in my cup holder. I didn’t know where my purse was. The water was still rushing in. It was a loud - almost deafening - roar. The water had risen almost to my knees, rushing in through the vents.

               Tony! Call Tony!

               I struggled to calm my breathing as I unlocked my phone with shaky hands, toes starting to tingle and feel numb from the freezing, muddy water that was still rushing in. I clicked on Tony’s name, “Please, pick up. Please, pick up.” I chanted this over and over again for every ring.

               Voicemail.

               I hit redial.

               Voicemail.

               A sob ripped through me. The water was up to my bellybutton. Tony was not picking up. “T-Tony! You need to answer the phone! Please, Tony! I- I crashed the car, and it is filling up with water!” I sucked in a breath, choking out another sob. “Please! Please! Help me!” The panic was really starting to settle in. “I- I’m going to try, again.”

               Redial.

               “Help me!” I screamed, yanking on my seatbelt, again. “Somebody please, HELP ME!” I pushed against the floor of my car with my feet, trying to move the seatbelt. Still locked.

               What about FRIDAY? What if I called FRIDAY?

               I searched my phone for the number. “YES!” I sobbed, hitting the button. The water was just reaching my ribs. I shivered.

               “Yes, Miss Y/L/N?” FRIDAY answered.

               “FRIDAY! Oh, thank god!” I sobbed. “I need you to send Tony my location and patch me through to him. It’s an-”

               Crack!

               “No. NO.” The windshield was starting to crack. If it shattered, I was going to drown. I couldn’t get out of my seatbelt. I screamed, tears streaking down my face. I tried my seatbelt again, with no success.

               “Y/N?” Tony’s voice came out of the speaker, sounding confused, “Why is FRIDAY sending me your location and-”

               “TONY!” I sobbed, “I crashed the car! It’s filling up with water! I can’t get out! Please! Help me!” I kept yanking on the seat belt as the water reached under my bra, “I don’t want to drown!”

               “Y/N.” Tony’s voice was loud, as he shouted orders in the background. “We are coming to get you, you are not going to drown!”

               “I love you!” I choked out, breathing getting faster and faster. “Tell my mom and the team that I love them! Oh, god, I’m all my mom has left!” I sobbed harder, “I don’t want to drown!” The water was getting deeper, and the spreading of the crack was getting wider.

               “Y/N, baby, you aren’t going to drown. We are on our way, okay? Just hold on.” His voice was shaking. I was at least a few hours’ drive away from the tower. Was he going to make it? “How deep is the water? Can you keep trying your seatbelt?”

               “It’s almost to my shoulders, Tony!” The cold was starting to seep into my bones, and the horror of the situation was starting to settle into my mind. I might not make it out of here. Tony could only go so fast in the suit, and the water was rising too fast. I stopped shaking as a dead calm spread over me, “I’m going to drown.”

               “Y/N, baby, please stop talking like that.” Tony’s distressed voice begged through the phone, “We’re coming, okay? J-just please, baby, stop talking like that.”

               “I’m sorry for what I said,” I choked out, shivers running through my body, “I didn’t mean it. I w-was just u-upset.” I craned my neck up as the water rose over my shoulders. I held the phone higher, practically pinning it to the ceiling. I would’ve tried my seatbelt, again, but the cold was draining all of my energy, and I didn’t want to drop the phone. “My windshield is cracking, baby.” The higher the water rose, the further out the spidering of the crack travelled. It was only going to hold for so long.

               “I… I’m almost there.” He stuttered out, voice shaking. “I’m sorry, too.”

             “I love you.” I whispered, tears mixing with the water under my chin.

               The shattering of the windshield was dulled by the sound of the water rushing over my head…