i'm a mess and you know that i can't help it

Deep Ass Starters.
  • Sometimes it's hard to get in depth with your muse and their backstory, because you can't figure out how to bring those things up with others. Here are a couple of starters intended to make things a little more personal!
  • "What's holding you back?"
  • "I'm not comfortable with this conversation."
  • "Will you /ever/ be comfortable with this conversation?"
  • "Let me in sometime!"
  • "It's not that easy, you know."
  • "Help me understand."
  • "It's hard to connect with someone when all they do is push you away."
  • "Why are you always so cold?"
  • "Why are you always so happy?"
  • "Are you really happy now?"
  • "Who hurt you this badly to make you this way?!"
  • "What, did your ex mess you up that badly?!"
  • "Why do you keep fighting it any time you feel?"
  • "It's a problem, I get it."
  • "This is all kinds of messed up."
  • "That's not exactly a good coping method."
  • "So what happened, with your parents, really?"
  • "What was your childhood like?"
  • "Everyone has at lest a little bit of mommy/daddy issues. It's nothing to be ashamed of."
  • "My parents aren't exactly perfect models, either."
  • "You were bullied? What for?"
  • "Was it hard? Coming out, I mean."
  • "You can't just run away all the time."
  • "You can't just hide all the time."
  • "Are you still thinking about them?"
  • "I'm not the enemy here. But this makes me wonder who the real one is for you."
  • "Is the reason you're so cold and defensive because you feel threatened?"
  • "How long has it been since you last spoke to them?"
  • "You never talk about it, why?"
  • "How come you're so different around them?"
  • "It's like you don't have a care or worry in the world."
  • "You seem so perfect. I don't get it."
  • "What was your ex like?"
  • "I don't think I was ever good enough for them."
  • "Are you not comfortable being intimate?"
  • "Why don't you feel comfortable being intimate?"
  • "Letting someone see you that vulnerable, it's a scary thing."
  • "Are you scared of being hurt?"
  • "Have you ever been taken advantage of?"
  • "Why are you afraid of saying I love you?"
  • "I never understood how someone could say those words so easily."
  • "You're hurting others the way you've been hurt in the past, don't you think that's ironic?"
  • "You use people to make yourself feel better."
  • "I'm scared of being used again..."
  • "Losing someone isn't easy, but you're making it harder than it needs to be."
  • "How long has it been since you lost them?"
  • "You're too attached."
  • "I'm not attached, I'm just comfortable with what I'm familiar to."
  • "Maybe the real reason you're so controlling is because, deep down you'd rather have them in your grasp than lose them."
  • "Why did you ever break up?" / "Why did we ever break up?"
Keeping Your End of the Bargain

I promised I’d give you all another Dark fic when we reached our next milestone, and I always keep my promises. 

Just a quick warning- this is not fluff. It’s not romance. It’s not a sympathetic portrayal. This man is a manipulator, a good one, and he does what he does to further his own interests. He enjoys control, not company. And, to use Mark’s own words:

He is not here to help you. He is here to use you.

Enjoy.

Originally posted by wrcngchcice


Keep reading

Sloppy Seconds

(Bucky Barnes x Reader) x Steve Rogers

Notes: THE TITLE IS SELF EXPLANATORY, PWP, one shot, smut.
Established relationship (Bucky x Reader), unlabeled relationship dynamic, explicit sex scenes, messy sex, threesome, DP, the author is going to hell for this, her bags are already packed

Summary: You and Bucky head home, ready to place the finishing touches on your date night. Steve calls, and everyone gets what they needed.

A/N: I needed this, too. Partly because I’m procrastinating on another story I should be writing, partly because I haven’t posted any new fics in a while, and partly because I needed this. Did you need it too? Let me know what you think, and as always—enjoy! ^_^




Bucky held your hand gently with his flesh one, leading you down the hallway to his room. You were both quiet but giggling innocently. Date night had gone well. It was a simple night out—movie and a dinner. You always preferred it in that order instead of the other way around. Watching the movie first meant that dinner didn’t have to be rushed. But you two skipped dessert to save time anyway. The real treat would come later in the night.

You were back in Bucky’s room. The lights were dimmed and soft ambient music filtered through Bucky’s computer speakers. The mood was set just the way you liked it. He approached you quietly, eying you sweetly. Both of your clothes came off easily, and soon Bucky had you on the ground in the nest of blankets and pillows set up in the corner. He rested his muscular, naked body between your equally naked legs and leaned over you. Bucky peppered kisses wherever he could until he finally met your lips. He ground his pelvis against yours, feeling your pussy get slick against his cock without slipping himself in quiet yet. He wanted to warm you up first.

Off in the pile of discarded clothes, Bucky’s phone began to ring. Neither of you noticed until it stopped and your phone started ringing right afterwards. Then Bucky’s twice. Back to yours again.

Bucky grinned against your lips before getting to his feet. “Oh right, our treat.” His semi-hard bobbed from side to side as he walked over to the clothes and dug out his phone. It was Steve.

The phone rang again and Bucky answered immediately.

“Hey Steve, you ready to come over?”

Keep reading

What I think of when listening to the Heathers soundtrack
  • Beautiful: School sucks...nope never mind!!!
  • Candy Store: Bow down or get out Bitch!!!
  • Fight for me: Damn boy!!! You single???
  • Freeze Your Brain: Don't kill yourself, have a slushie instead!!
  • Big Fun: Parents are gone let's get wasted!! Wooo!!!
  • Dead Girl Walking: I'm pissed, horny, hot and you're cute! Let's do this!!!
  • The Me inside of Me: Ok, Bitch is dead... let's make her into a martyr!!(Aka Miss Fleming gets too self involved and helps them get away with murder.)
  • Blue: I'm soooo horny!! NO!!!
  • Our Love is God: I am God! We are god! We will kill them all!!! *V freaking out*
  • My Dead Gay Son: My son is dead, gay (shush), and so am I!!!
  • Seventeen: Please can't we just be normal, no more killing. Just you and me.
  • Shine a Light: Kids are dying, this is great for my career!!!
  • Life Boat: I'm a jerk, but there is more to me than that.
  • Shine a Light Reprise: Heather vs. Heather
  • Kindergarten Boyfriend: I had hope once, now it's gone.
  • Yo Girl: Run Veronica Run.
  • Meant to be Yours: Come on Veronica, we are meant to be! I just want to blow up the school!!! It's no big deal.
  • Dead Girl Walking Reprise: Ok, that's it!! I'm done with your BS.
  • I am Damaged: I'm too messed up! Wait no you're not!!! *boom*
  • Seventeen Reprise: I know everything has gone to hell, but let's try and be normal.
angsty starters ( + sad qoutes / song lyrics. )
  • "I love you enough to let you go,"
  • "I heard you moved on,"
  • "I didn't come here to hurt you,"
  • "Where did you go?"
  • "I'm sorry we fell in love."
  • "We'll do everything on our own."
  • "I'm so sorry,"
  • "You'll never understand."
  • "Please don't go,"
  • "I still love you,"
  • "I don't love you anymore."
  • "I never loved you,"
  • "I can't do this."
  • "We can't be together!"
  • "Will I ever see you again?"
  • "May we meet again,"
  • "I promise I'll do better,"
  • "I just want to see you, one more time."
  • "I'd give anything to see you one more time."
  • "One last time?"
  • "I don't deserve you,"
  • "You don't deserve me,"
  • "People like us don't get happy endings,"
  • "You still love me?"
  • "I never meant to hurt you,"
  • "I understand..."
  • "If you want to go, it's okay."
  • "I gave up everything for you!"
  • "I really need you to trust me,"
  • "Can you listen to me for once!"
  • "I cheated on you,"
  • "You cheated on me?"
  • "Don't expect me to come crawling back,"
  • "Shame on me, you fooled me twice."
  • "You said I wasn't just like anyone."
  • "Did I even ever cross your mind?"
  • "Can we pretend that we're in love?"
  • "I can't lose you,"
  • "Please go,"
  • "Don't you dare die on me!"
  • "I'm not losing you again!"
  • "I'm incomplete without you,"
  • "I will love you for the rest of my life,"
  • "So this is goodbye?"
  • "Kiss me goodbye."
  • "I loved them and they died."
  • "I was a bet?"
  • "You were nothing but a bet."
  • "Can you hold me?"
  • "I loved and I lost you."
  • "It's okay,"
  • "The worst day of loving someone is when you lose them."
  • "It hurts like hell,"
  • "I'm not coming back."
  • "You're never coming back?"
  • "What do you mean you're dying!"
  • "Come back to me,"
  • "What happened?!"
  • "They're dead!"
  • "Where's my love,"
  • "Don't do this,"
  • "I'll see you again."
  • "There's nothing we can do to bring them back."
  • "I don't want to be alone anymore,"
  • "You promised you'd never leave me."
  • "First love, you remember what that's like?"
  • "If I don't have you I have nothing at all,"
  • "I'm not going to fight you,"
  • "You're my friend."
  • "It's too late to apologize."
  • "You left me!"
  • "You left us!"
  • "You chose them over me,"
  • "I need you,"
  • "I was hoping that you'd stay."
  • "I never lied to you,"
  • "You said you might die so what the hell?"
  • "It's a bad joke,"
  • "We can never be the same again,"
  • "You don't need you,"
  • "You're not alone."
  • "You broke my heart."
  • "It made me think of you."
  • "You're my world."
  • "Do I wanna know?"
  • "So sad to see you go,"
  • "This is it, isn't it."
  • "Now I just sit in silence."
  • "Are you okay?"
  • "Are you hurt?"
  • "I'll go with you."
  • "How bad is it?"
  • "My feelings for you are real, they always have been."
  • "Someday you'll understand."
  • "Because I love you,"
  • "There was just something about them,"
  • "I'm sorry for breaking your heart."
  • "It wasn't an act."
  • "Time doesn't heal everything."
  • "This is your fault!"
  • "Tell me what to do!"
  • "I didn't mean for this to happen."
  • "Everythings a mess."
  • "You ruined my life,"
  • "Do you still love me?"
  • "You gotta get up, we have to go."
  • "It's okay,"
  • "It was nothing,"
  • "I'll do something."
  • "You're safe here,"
  • "Don't forget me."
  • "I ruined this,"
  • "You ruined this."
  • "Quiet is violent."
  • "You promised me!"
  • "Stop lying with those words."
  • "If this is some kind of sick joke, you better tell me!"
  • "You're all I have!"
  • "I'm not ready to say goodbye."
  • "I don't want to go,"
  • "I loved you,"
  • "You don't have to do this,"
  • "I'm afraid it's never going to be okay again."
  • "I'm terrified,"
  • "You're a monster."
  • "You're all I have!"
  • "I'm a monster."
  • "Only fools fall for you,"
  • "Everything comes to an end,"
  • "I thought I loved you."
  • "Now I just sit in silence."
  • "It's unbearable."
  • "You're my first love."
  • "I never wanted to hurt you,"
  • "I was here,"
  • "Help me,"
  • "They won..."
  • "You don't love them."
  • "You're breaking my heart,"
  • "I hate you!"
  • "It's a waste of time,"
  • "You're all I want."
  • "I've always loved you!"
  • "I can pretend anymore."
  • "i didn't have a choice!"
  • "What if it's agony now and it's hell later on?"
  • "Love I will let you go,"
  • "I left behind something great."
  • "I want you back,"
  • "I don't regret any of it, not if it kept you safe."
  • "Get over yourself,"
  • "You'll be the death of me."
  • "Everything just fell apart."
  • "What the hell am I doing here?"
  • "I want you so much but I hate your guts."
  • "I found love where it wasn't supposed to be."
  • "You still like them, don't you?"
  • "What are you doing?!"
  • "I did this to protect you!"
  • "Don't cry,"
  • "I'm not crying,"
  • "I'm dying,"
  • "A-Are you alright?"
  • "I'll come back for you."
  • "I've never felt so alone."
  • "You don't love me! You don't even know me!"
  • "I don't even know who you are anymore."
  • "I don't even know who I am anymore,"
  • "Please let me do this for you."
  • "You're one of the lucky ones."
  • "It's never going to be okay."
When people call me racist and homophobic because i don’t ship W*stallen, S*percorp and K*rolsen:

(i hate writing stuff using * but i’m just trying not to mess with the search)

bitch take a look and my otps

Richonne

Originally posted by monochromestripes

Bonenzo

Originally posted by ogstydiashipper

Malec

Originally posted by magnusizzy

Zude

Originally posted by fuckyeahhitthefloor

Namaya

Originally posted by alwayzraven

Glaggie

Originally posted by maggiegreenenetwork

Kalagang

Originally posted by ravenclavw

Sanvers

Originally posted by eternalsanvers

Brunol

Originally posted by tinyweirdloves

Evak

Originally posted by justleavemebreathless

Scira

Originally posted by alishaboes

so, as you can see, it’s not a matter of poc or homosexual couples i ship where i see chemistry. 

We are not homophobics if we ship a straight or/and white couple. We ship them because we see something in them as we see things in gay or poc couples. I’m not spreading hate over the ships i don’t ship. But these days, i’ve been called racist, homophobic (ME, WHO HELPED A FAMILY MEMBER TO COME OUT TO HIS MOTHER, DAMN TUMBLR), dump, stupid etc. Enough with this kind of bullying, for real. People express their opinion and i respect that. But don’t insult human beings you don’t even know, over TV shows. It’s supid, toxic and disrespectful. Racism and homophobia aren’t selective characteristics. You are or you are not. People ship what they wanna ship. You don’t have the right to make them feel bad for their preferences.

Peace! 

🎶🎶When You Collect Records🎶🎶
  • Hipster: *moves dusty old boxes out of the way* Whoa, an old record player. It looks like it's in working order too! *runs outside*
  • Hipster: Yo, dad!
  • Dad: What?
  • Hipster: We're getting rid of all of poppop's stuff, right?
  • Dad: There's something you want, isn't there?
  • Hipster: There's this old stereo record player in the attic.
  • Dad: What do you need a record player for?
  • Hipster: My record collection.
  • Dad: I didn't even know they still made those things. Can't you just listen to music on your phone?
  • Hipster: Dad, there's a big difference between listening to music digitally and on record.
  • Dad: Fine, I don't wanna get into it with you right now. You can take the record player. You just have to get someone else to take it to your place for you. My truck's full.
  • Hipster: Thanks dad! *smooches dad on the cheek*
  • *later at hipster's apartment*
  • Friend: So, like Patch Adams ends with Patch Adams half-naked in front of a ton of people. I don't know if it was meant to be funny or like a weird sex thing, but like the movie was just a deeply disturbing character study. I can't stop thinking about it.
  • Hipster: That sounds boring. *unlocks door to apartment* Ta-da! Here it is! My new record player!
  • Friend: New? Looks fucking old to me, dude.
  • Hipster: Well, it is old. That's the appeal. And we're going to listen to the new Sufjan record on it.
  • Friend: Is that actually how you say Sufjan? Apparently, I've been pronouncing it wrong this whole time.
  • Hipster: Well, you won't after this record. There's an entire track where he just says his name for four minutes. It's amazing. *plays records*
  • Record Player: *coughs* Hello. Hello! Where am I? Doctor? Hello! Why is it so dark...............................Can I breathe? I can't breath. Oh god, I'm not breathing! Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god! I.....................................
  • Hipster: Uh, that's not Sufjan.
  • Friend: It totally isn't. Is it some guest vocalist? I like the new direction he's going in. No instruments or singing, and long stretches of silence. Very experimental.
  • Hipster: *stops record player* I think maybe we should do something else for now.
  • Friend: Fucking lame! I wanted to listen to more Sufjan.
  • *days later at the record store*
  • Hipster: Yo, I think the Sufjan Stevens record I bought from here might be some kind of mispress.
  • Store Clerk: Really? It's a pretty major album. I doubt there'd just be a mispress like that.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but listen to it. It's not Sufjan at all. It's some girl talking.
  • *hipster and clerk listen to a completely normal Sufjan Stevens album together*
  • Store Clerk: What are you talking about? This is definitely Sufjan Stevens.
  • Hipster: Okay, but it wasn't like that when I listened to it at home! I even listened to it with my friend and he heard the same thing!
  • Store Clerk: Maybe there's something wrong with your record player.
  • Hipster: Hmm, maybe there is.
  • *back at the apartment*
  • Hipster: *turns on record player and just listens*
  • Record Player: ...I'm awake again. Why did I black out? Did I even black out? God, I'm not breathing, but it doesn't matter. Why don't I need to breathe? Am I even alive?
  • Hipster: Can you hear me?
  • Record Player: Doctor. Doctor! DOCTOR! Why can't I move? Why can't I feel anything. Keep yourself together. It'll all make sense soon. Calm down. Just breathe deeply. Fuck, I can't breathe! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I CAN'T BREATHE! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! DOCTOR! HELP! HELP ME, PLEASE! I'M STUCK! I CAN'T MOVE! PLEASE HELP ME!
  • Hipster: *turns off record player* It's just a recording, I bet. I can't believe I talked to it like an idiot... *nervously turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: I blacked out again. I blacked out. For how long? Is there even time here? Hell. This is hell, right? Did I go to hell.........................................
  • Hipster: *listens to the record player for hours*
  • Record Player: Negative 6893 bottles of wine on the wall! Negative 6893 bottles of wine! Take one down, pass it around, Negative 6894 bottles of wine on the wall... fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! PLEASE SOMEONE HELP ME! AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
  • Hipster: *keeps listening*
  • Record Player: Soul of Christ, make me holy, Body of Christ, be my salvation. God, please forgive me. I'm sorry for all of my sins. Please free me. I'm so sorry. Please. Please. Please.
  • Hipster: *still listening*
  • Record Player: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! SHITTY DOCTOR! FUCK YOU! LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT! *sobs intensely* FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK EVERYTHING! Please just let me go.
  • Hipster: *nervously walks up to record player and lightly taps on it*
  • Record Player: ...A knock. A KNOCK! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M STUCK! PLEASE! *record player begins shake violently*
  • Hipster: *backs away in fear*
  • Record Player: HELP! HELP! HELP ME! PLEASE, IF SOMEONE'S THERE, HELP ME! HELP ME! I'M STUCK! GET ME OUT OF HERE, PLEASE!
  • Hipster: *unplugs record player*
  • Hipster: *gets hammer from the closet and begins to break apart record player*
  • Record Player: *drips red*
  • Hipster: W-What? *cracks front of record player open*
  • *rotting viscera falls from the record player*
  • Hipster: O-Oh... *stuffs viscera back into the record player and duct tapes over it*
  • Hipster: *turns record player back on*
  • Record Player: ...I can feel. It hurts. Why does it hurt now? Why does it hurt? Why? Why? Why? WHY!? WHY!? WHY!? *spurts blood through it speakers and begins to gurgle*
  • Record Player: *hops forward* Please just let me go. Please... please. I'll do anything. I just want to see you again. I'm so sorry. This isn't what I asked for. I'm so sorry. *hops forward again and comes unplugged*
  • Record Player: *tips over, bleeding heavily onto the carpet*
  • Hipster: *silently cleans up the mess*
  • *some time later*
  • Hipster: *calls dad* Hey, dad. Oh, nothing. Uh, I just need to borrow your truck, If not tonight sometime this week. I just need to get rid of something. No, no, that's fine, I can do it myself. Yeah, tomorrow morning is perfect. Thanks Love you too. Bye.
  • *the next afternoon*
  • Dad: So, what did you need to get rid of this morning?
  • Hipster: Nothing important. Just some old junk... Dad, what kind of person was poppop?
  • Dad: Well, he was only the greatest man I've known in my life. Really caring, dedicated to his family. When you were born he loved you so much. He was a bit of a loner, though. It took a lot to get him to open up. Even around me and your grandmother. He was a bit like you. Always a huge music lover.
  • Hipster: I see. Was he ever a doctor?
  • Dad: That's a weird thing to ask. Nope. He hated doctors. Didn't trust modern medicine one bit. It's ironic. His cancer probably wouldn't have gotten to him if he did. But, your poppop was always so stubborn.
  • Hipster: Oh, okay then.
  • *some days later*
  • Friend: New carpet?
  • Hipster: Yup, old one was ugly wasn't it. It was time for a change.
  • Friend: That's what I've been telling you! I'm glad you finally came to your senses. What happened to your record player, though?
  • Hipster: That thing? I threw it away. It was busted.
  • Friend: That sucks. Are you gonna buy a new one?
  • Hipster: No.
  • Friend: But you won't have anything to play your records on.
  • Hipster: Yeah, but I buy records because I want to support the artists. They're not really for listening. Besides, lossless is better. FLAC is the future.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I was trying to write about a character who's a beautiful black woman. I'm trying to describe her wide nose in a positive light but I just can't think of a nice way to describe it. A lot of it comes from me because I'm a WOC that always hated her wide, flat nose. I feel like every time I read a description of a wide nose, it's always very masculine and animalistic, which is obviously messed up. I think wide noses are beautiful now but I don't know how to express it. Help!

Describing Wide Noses

I know what you mean about not crossing positive associations of wide noses. A shame since there’s no such problem with narrow, straight noses that I know of.

I hope we can reach a point where wide noses are normalized in the narrative without needing to be assured it’s something positive and attractive. I do think, though, if you note or describe her as beautiful, all the while mentioning her wide nose somewhere in a description of her, then you’d be fine.

As long as you’re keeping negative associations “away” from her nose so to speak and aren’t attributing it to masculinity (Black women being connected with masculinity is almost always rooted in misogynoir) or animalistic.

Otherwise, you could use a combination of positive and/or neutral words in your descriptions to imprint the idea that you’re describing her (and her nose!) favorably.

I’ll spin up a list for ideas, though all the following words might not apply to her as wide noses have a variety of appearances and can be short, long, pert, etc.

Adjectives for wide noses

  • Ample
  • Broad
  • Button
  • Full
  • Prominent
  • Round
  • Short
  • Short-bridged
  • Small
  • Soft
  • Wide

You could also pair positive adjectives with her nose or her face in general, such as attractive, cute, beautiful…

Just note those words are judgments, i.e. “Telling” description that do not convey a specific physical image and is also a matter of opinion (and imagination). Though probably best used sparingly, if you’re wishing to “direct” the audiences’ perspective as you are here, they could prove helpful!

Some example sentences:

“She was attractive; warm brown skin, even warmer brown eyes, a cute, rounded nose…”

“…Her short, wide nose centered prettily on her face.”

“She had a broad, attractive nose that went well with her delicate features.”

I hope this is helpful to you!

~Mod Colette

I’m With You (one-shot)


Chris Evans x Reader

I have a thing (like most in the marvel fandom), for the phrase “I’m with you till the end of the line”. So this is a little reimagine of that. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: fluffy, fluff, fluff. Angst(?) but not really.

Originally posted by emilyblunts

“Okay so August through January is filming for that movie” I point to the corresponding script, waiting for confirmation. He nods before I continue, “and then March through June is filming for that one” He nods his confirmation again. “And they’re both in Atlanta?” I question.

“No, first one is Atlanta, second one is Atlanta for the first few weeks and then we go to Europe for a while”

“Right, okay”

“God, it’s literally all year, I’m going to be gone all year” He buries his face in his hands and I can see his stress bubbling.

Keep reading

orson krennic's characterization
  • before rogue one: greetings my fellow Imperial leaders, let us make haste to complete the Death Star project ahh yes tarkin of course we'll accept your help thank you
  • after rogue one: *rolls up to Imperial meeting 15 minutes late with Space Starbucks* sorry everyone couldn't find my fucking cape *sees tarkin* what bitch?

defendthechibi  asked:

I'm a beginner in Chinese and having a hard time finding out where to start. What would you recommend?

@defendthechibi: mmmmdamn. ok, so Chinese is not a lang I approached on my own, I started in a class, but with that said here’s some combination of how that went down and what I would suggest (if you are a self-learner of Chinese pls do add):

1. Get a fucking fantastic foundation in pinyin and tones. I cannot emphasize this enough—start good habits now or it’ll be really terrible to find out no one understands you because you were like “tone, I’ll come back to that!” Here is a very nice pinyin chart with literally every syllable combination recorded with every tone. Here’s a pinyin practice game. If you can get someone who already speaks Mandarin to help that’s of course ideal, especially for the retroflex sounds, but not essential. Either way make sure you practice speaking aloud. Here’s a funny tone explanation that’s secretly great.

2. Pick a book and stick with it. So this is not Mandarin-specific, but I find that self-learners (myself included) have a habit of starting like three different texts for one language and it’s a mess. Decide if you wanna start with traditional or simplified characters, then pick a textbook, it wont be perfect because nothing is, and maybe just a grammar book for reference. We used Integrated Chinese in class, but I don’t know that I’d recommended it for soloing, Practice Makes Perfect has great other books I’ve used and seems like a better choice. This series is good grammar help, and so is Modern Mandarin Chinese grammar (pdf). When looking for textbooks I recommend reading reviews and also taking into consideration the time/pace you want to work at. Learning a language is a lifetime thing so really you just gotta start somewhere and plow ahead. (also check what the library has!)

2.5 Don’t buy those damn books of character lists. I’m sure you’ve seen them, “memorizing hanzi!” “500 common characters!” whaaaatever. Whatever textbook yr using will tell you what characters you need right then, and if that’s not enough there are plenty of frequency lists online. More importantly, do learn the radicals When it comes to actually getting characters into your brain it’s some combination of mnemonic device (which works better if you make it up, not if some rando writer does anyway) and rote muscle memory—so all you need is paper. Get square/grid paper and pay attention to proportions or if you must get a book, get one that has practice space. Skritter is amazing and wonderful and I cannot praise it enough but also it is not free. But like if yr really serious you’ll probably have to put some money down somewhere. Whatever you do, do not buy Chineasy it is a plague upon our language learning household. (note: some people suggest not learning characters until after awhile of studying spoken. That sounds sort of terrible to me, and it also means you won’t be able to engage with anything Chinese online. But it is a thing, and sites like YablaFluentU, and ChinesePod could be a way to go [and are good anyway])

3. Practice, practice, practice! Ok cool you started doing some stuff! Check you out! If you want to get feedback start posting snippets on Lang-8, you can even meet people to skype with. Or if you want (and have a smart phone) you can get a chat buddy on hellotalk. Maybe there’s a meetup group in your area who knows. Make yourself/download an Anki deck, etc. etc. Just try to always do a little something everyday. I think because of characters Chinese has a particularly steep learning curve—I still can’t open a webpage and just like read it—so it might be better to focus on practicing what you know rather than trying to engage too much with “actual” Chinese. That said….

4. Don’t loose hope, find fun things in Chinese. Even if it’s not actively practicing your language skills, find ways to enjoy Chinese that don’t drain you like too much studying will. Listen to music,  read about idiomswatch movies, or if you’re a nerd like me, read about Chinese linguistics! If you have a hobby, you can find stuff on your hobby in Chinese. e.g. here is a whole cooking channel that is also subbed in English.  DramaFever has, duh, lots of dramas, but is not free. 

I hope that sounds like a setup for success! Here’s some dictionaries: MDGB, HanziCraft, lineDict (let’s you draw characters). If you have a smartphone get Pleco. Here’s a thing that annotates text & has rollover translation: MandarinSpot (maybe get a plug-in if yr into those). Here are general help sites: SayJACK  & Chinese Grammar Wiki. There are so so so many other resources out there, but rather than stockpile them all right now I think it’s better to focus on whatever textbook/system you chose and just start moving. Once you have a little more of a base then look for cool blogs or whatever works well for YOU. 

If there was something more specific you wanted just throw that @ me. If people have suggestions you can send them in and I’ll compile them so we don’t have to reblog this massive thing  くコ:彡  くコ:彡  くコ:彡 

Next Generation HP Things
  • Teddy is “the cool cousin.” 
  • James is “that little bastard who keeps messing up his potions on purpose to see the ‘pretty fireworks’”. 
  • Albus is “oh god, not another one. He’s going to be just like his brother!” (except he’s not just like his brother. He actually tries.)
  • Lily is a sweetheart. Need I say more? She’s obviously a sweetheart. Except… she’s got a bit of her oldest brother’s mischievous streak, so she likes to explode potions, too. 
  • Scorpius and Albus are friends and both in Slytherin, because I like the idea of a Potter being in Slytherin, but I’m not too fond of the “Scorpius HAS to be not Slytherin thing.”
  • Everyone thinks they’re dating. They’re THAT pair of friends that always sits really close together and steals each other’s pumpkin juice and shares books. 
  • They aren’t? They are? Who knows?
  • Lysander and Lorcan are really popular in their houses. One is Ravenclaw and one is Hufflepuff and they’ve got a whole tutoring system set up with Rose.
  • Rose is, in the teachers’ books, “most likely to get out of here alive, just like her mom.”
  • Teddy gets a job at Hogwarts doing Merlin-knows-what because Harry has a life crisis and is like, “I NEED SOMEONE KEEPING AN EYE ON MY CHILDREN SO THEY DON’T DIE LIKE I NEARLY DID!!!!!”
  • Neville offers but Harry’s like, “Neville, you had enough dealing with me.” and Neville’s like, “You’re right. Good plan.”
  • Victoire is a healer. She’s really damn good at it. 
  • George’s kids are banned from having any of their dad’s merchandise on campus. The teachers just aren’t taking the chance. 
  • Draco and Harry are Quidditch Dads who have angry face-offs in the bleachers even though their kids are on the SAME DAMN TEAM. It’s ridiculous. 
  • Headmistress McGonagall gives the two of them detention before remembering they graduated and have jobs and lives. 
  • They’re nice guys (are they?) so they sit through two hours of detention with Aunt Minerva (but don’t call her that if you want to live). 
  • Rose and Hugo are inseparable Hugo’s first year because he’s nervous as hell, but then he makes friends and starts a club devoted to continuing  his uncles’ (Fred and George’s) legacy as pranksters. 
  • Everyone thinks it’s Roxanne and Fred II until Hugo feels guilty and turns himself in. 
  • The teachers are SHOCKED. 
  • He gives them the Sad Weasley Eyes and gets his detention time cut in half. 
  • Scorpius and Albus get too close to each other during Quidditch and Albus knocks Scorpius off his broom. It looks like he could do one of two things: Catch the goddamn snitch or rescue his friend. 
  • He doesn’t think twice before rescuing his friend.
  • Later everyone asks Scorpius if he was scared and he says, “For a second, but then I remembered Al was right there and I wasn’t scared anymore. I knew he’d help me, ‘cause I’d do the same for him.”
  • Cue the chorus of “aaaaaaaawwwwwwww!”
  • I’m done here. It’s midnight and I’m rambling and my sister would be so ashamed. 

anonymous asked:

Hello there! I love the comics and artwork you've created and was wondering how you stay dedicated with making your longer comics. I have a lot of trouble staying dedicated to the comics I'm making due to wondering what people will think of it and feeling like I can't draw anything else until the comic is done. How do you stick with making larger comics and how do you stop yourself from being in a self created art block?

hi there! thank you!!

that’s a tough question though since as of now i don’t really have particularly long comics and this tends to be a pretty personal journey that people go through to figure it out! and i wonder the same thing about people who make graphic novels!! though now i’m starting to understand more about what works and what doesn’t work regarding sticking to a longer story so i’ll try to put a list and some advice that maybe will help! :o

1. don’t go into your project expecting a masterpiece! you’re gonna stress over every little thing about the comic, editing and editing and obsessing until you get frustrated and tired of your comic because it’s not PERFECT and it’s taking you forever to make 1 or 2 pages

2. make your comics for YOU not for other people! while receiving praise from other people is fantastic, you aren’t going be satisfied with your work if that’s what you rely on to feel like you did a successful job. praise should be icing on the cake, not your reason for working

3. change your definition of ‘success’! it’s easier said than done like all this stuff, but it’s something to consider! success shouldn’t mean getting famous. it shouldn’t even be getting a certain amount of notes or anything either if you’re just starting out and you don’t have a following. if you’ve never made a longer comic before, success should simply be FINISHING! once you’ve done that you can set higher goals for yourself

4. ask yourself why you care so much about what other people think! are you afraid of a lack of response? or maybe an actual negative response? don’t let this stop you from making your comics! who cares what people think honestly, like for real!!! if they like it? fantastic!! if they don’t like it? it’s whatever, they’re entitled to their opinion and taste! i know it’s hard to hear–everyone wants people to like their stuff and it’s hard to hear hear/see negative comments. but!

you could make the best thing ever and some people still won’t like it just because it’s not their taste, not because it’s actually bad. like harry potter is super famous and praised and all this stuff and i think most people think it’s good!! but there are some people who just don’t like it or it’s not their thing! and that’s fine! it’s also a book that has some issues but people still enjoy it anyway, if that’s any sort of consolation. and there are tons of classic books that everyone’s gotta read in high school because they’re known for being amazing and wonderful and world changing or whatev but chances are you didn’t like every single one. the only time i think it’s fair to be concerned over what people think would be like…if you made something super messed up like horribly stereotyping a group of people or being real homophobic or something of that nature? in which case you should do your research but i doubt that’d be an issue haha.

5. keep drawing/writing! you are way more likely to get stuck in an art block if you stop drawing and writing. so if you’re in a tough spot in your comic or you’re feeling kind of tired, switch to something else and go back to it. if you’re not on a deadline for the comic then don’t worry about feeling this need to always and only be working on it. do it at your own pace! there’s no reason you can’t work on multiple things at once or take a break from your comic to draw other stuff for fun! you SHOULD be doing that!! everyone needs a breather from their work

6. make sure you are passionate about your story and your characters! you need to really love and enjoy what you’re working on to be able to keep it going for a long time 

7. don’t overcomplicate your story. keep it simple to start! you can add complexity as you go but if you’re worrying about complicated forshadowing and plot details and all this stuff you’re gonna get really burnt out and frustrated. you want an interesting and meaningful story but you can have one without having one thousand crazy plot things happening. one of my teachers says something i like which is “keep it simple, but not simplistic.”

this is what i got for now, i’ll add more to it if i think of stuff! hope this could help!! :’)

a bunch of starters from spiderman: homecoming trailers
  • "This is the coolest thing I've ever seen."
  • "This is the greatest day of my life!"
  • "Who's that new guy?"
  • "Gotta go!"
  • "That was awesome!"
  • "Don't mess with me."
  • "I'll kill you, and everybody you love."
  • "New move I'm working on."
  • "I stole his shield, then he beat me up."
  • "Why do you hate fun?"
  • "Nice try, buddy."
  • "So, you're gonna let me go?"
  • "What the hell?"
  • "We have thin walls here."
  • "They don't care about us."
  • "The world's changing. It's time we change too."
  • "So when's our next 'retreat'?"
  • "We'll call you."
  • "That's not a hug, I'm just grabbing the door for you."
  • "Good luck out there."
  • "This is my chance to prove myself."
  • "What if someone had died tonight?"
  • "That's on you."
  • "I wanted you to be better."
  • "We're going to take everything they got."
  • "You're not gonna stop me!"
  • "Finally! Here we go."
  • "We're not there yet."
  • "I stopped a Grand Theft Bicycle."
  • "Hey, could you do me a favor? Hold on to that."
  • "I helped this old lady and she bought me a churro."
  • "That was nice."
  • "I just feel like I could be doing more."
  • "This feels so strange."
  • "These weapons are crazy dangerous!"
  • "There are people who handle this sort of thing."
  • "Let go of me!"
  • "But we have a Spanish quiz!"
  • "You gotta get better at this part of the job."
  • "I don't understand."
  • "I'm intimidating!"
  • "Hey, where are you going?"
  • "What are you hiding?"
  • "I'm just kidding, I don't care."
  • "I'm sick of being treated like a kid!"
  • "What was that?"
  • "You were on the ceiling!"
  • "You said we were going to finish the death star?"
  • "She doesn't know?"
  • "Nobody knows!"
  • "You can't tell anybody about this!"
  • "I don't think I can keep this a secret, this is the greatest thing to ever happen to me!"
  • "I can't believe this is happening right now."
  • "Are there like, trials? Or an interview?"
  • "Just stay close to the ground!"
  • "Badass!"
  • "Forget the flying monster guy!"
  • "I was just trying to be like you."
  • "I screwed up."
  • "You need to stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."
  • "I'll do anything to protect my family."
  • "I know you know what I'm talking about."
  • "I just gotta do this on my own."
  • "Just don't do anything stupid, alright?"
  • "We should probably stop staring before it gets creepy."
  • "You guys are losers."
  • "Just, don't do anything I would do."
  • "And definitely don't do anything I wouldn't do."
  • "There's a little grey area in there, and that's where you operate."
  • "I know you want to save the world, but you're not ready yet."
  • "Stay out of trouble!"
  • "What is going on with you?"
  • Aaron: Hiya. Thanks for coming. It's good to see you.
  • Robert: I've hardly slept since Chas told me what I did. I totally messed up.
  • Aaron: Oi, it's fine.
  • Robert: No, it's not. I'm supposed to be helping you out, not causing you more grief. Flipping idiot.
  • Aaron: Well, I can't argue with that.
  • Robert: Maybe I shouldn't have come. I don't want to make things any worse for you and I can see the way these muppets are looking at us.
  • Aaron: Relax. They get a bit mouthy, but that's about it. Anyway, is there any news on the appeal?
  • Robert: The barrister reckons the sentence was way over the top. He thinks he can probably get the sentence reduced.
  • Aaron: Thinks? Probably? There's no point getting my hopes up yet, then, is there?
  • Robert: I'm so sorry, Aaron. That first visit, I was so desperate to see you, I...
  • Aaron: I said it's fine. Robert, none of this is your fault. And anyway, I wouldn't have been able to keep up with the straight act.
  • Robert: All I had to do was keep up the whole cousin routine and I couldn't even manage that. I don't suppose Chas kicking off's made anything any easier.
  • Aaron: Seriously, stop stressing. I can look after myself.
  • Robert: She knows she messed up. She's so scared for you, she won't even go see Sarah.
  • Aaron: Then talk to her and tell her Sarah needs her much more than I do.
  • Robert: Are you sure?
  • Aaron: Yeah, I'm positive. I mean it, she needs to go to Prague, seriously. I can sort myself out.
  • Robert: Right, but if anything happens to you, anything at all, you promise me you're gonna tell me? (Aaron sees Jason blowing him a kiss) Aaron, please.
  • Aaron: Yeah, I promise ya.
  • Robert: Right. If you do get any flak, don't rise to it. If you get in any trouble, it could stuff the appeal.
3

Ok guys strap yourselves in because I’m about to take you on the wild ride of the night of May 10, 2017. So I went through a lot mentally to get these tickets but I got them. Then the night before something happened with my friend and I’s ride. I cried my eyes out that night thinking we weren’t gonna be able to go but then we found a new ride so my hope was back. I really wanted to get to the barricade. I’ve been having a pretty shitty year and this was the only thing keeping me happy. So the next morning, our ride was two hours late. I’m sitting there thinking we’re gonna be at the back of the queue but when we got there we had pretty decent spots. We made some friends and had a good time. Then there was the problem of people cutting which pissed me off. It was getting ridiculously out of hand. I decided to abandon all concert etiquette and bulldoze my way to the front because my god I deserved it. By the time we got there I was stuck behind 3 tall girls. For those of you who don’t know, I’m 5'0. Yeah I was pissed and the barricade was right there. Concert started and I had the time of my life. However the girls around me were sort of bitches and I thought a fight was gonna go down. Eventually my friend (god bless her) managed to shove me to the front and I was right by the barricade. I swear van and I made eye contact for a split second before he closed his eyes. It happened. Singing along with my favorite band at the top of my lungs was such an amazing experience and I’ve been lucky enough to experience it twice. Their stage presence is the best I’ve ever seen and out of all the concerts I’ve been to, I enjoy theirs the most. It’s weird because I feel so at home and a sense a of belonging at their concerts. I could go on and on about the show but I’m just gonna say it was absolutely amazing. Now our oh so precious ride got into some trouble and my friends mom had to come get us. She’s pretty strict so I was concerned we weren’t going to get to meet the band because she would want to leave. Thankfully at the end, she was still 70 miles away. My friend and I waited by the gates, through hunger, cold weather, and rain. I see people standing up and of course we follow them. Now we’re standing around like dumbasses just talking until my friend says “oh my god bob and bondy are standing right there.” They were talking to the crowd about something (we were in the back). We could not believe our eyes. I got around to bob and my god he’s an actual angel. He’s so sweet. He turned towards me and I asked him for two things. I asked if he could take our selfie because I was shaking too much and then if he could sign my shirt. I’m still shaking while writing this. He was so gentle and sweet and took the picture. I expected him to move on because there were so many girls but he asked me about my shirt and signed it. God his arms were around my waist for so long fucjfigja I’m dead. I love him so much like you don’t understand. I love him I love him I love him I love him. My friend also loves bob a lot but she was like cowering behind me. I asked him if he could take a picture with my friend and she was like “no no no no”. I had to ask him again and he said “of course!” He was so gentle and sweet and took his time with us even though there was this crowd of people. I felt so calm around him. I told him he was great today and he said “thank you so much. Hope you enjoyed the show.” Then we went around to bondy and I was waiting for a while. He knew I was there and kept looking at me but the other girls kept going up to him. I’m so passive omg lol. Anyways he turned towards me and I told him how they’ve helped me out in so many weird ways. And he was like “oh well I’m glad we did something” and kind of laughed and said he’s glad. Then we got a picture and god his hand was on me for so long. I didn’t have a sharpie on me (I asked a girl for bobs but she left). Bondy was like now we just need to find a pen and I was like um I don’t have one but I mean that’s okay if no one has one. I mean I was fine. I was dumb and didn’t bring one but No he turned around and started asking for a sharpie and oh my god I think I died a little on the inside. This girl handed me one and he signed my shirt. I shook his hand said thanks and I hope they have a good rest of the tour. I was a mess. He looked at me right in the eyes and said thank you. He’s so intense and smooth and cool ahhh. After that he had to leave but bob stayed for so long. Eventually everyone started calling him but he took his time and still took pictures with people. I have a video of me yelling “bob you’re an angel!” and he looked so confused. It was hilarious. So yeah that fucking happened.

anonymous asked:

My cat has cancer. There's a large tumor growing in her belly, and that's after we got the first one removed. (4 months ago) I can't afford to get her surgery every few months just for it to come back. Nalu.

A/N: The first thing I want to say is I’m so sorry about your cat, I can’t imagine what that’s like and I wish money wasn’t a factor when it comes to things like this.

The second thing I wan’t to say is I’m so sorry this took so long. I’d gone through multiple story ideas before I finally thought of it yesterday. I didn’t want to approach this in a way that could possibly marginalize it.

That being said, I hope you’re doing alright <3

The first thing I can remember about you, is your smell. Fire and spice and it has never changed. Though there was never fire around the house for you to smell like fire, somehow it always stuck in your hair and clothes. It helped me stay calm.

The second thing I can remember about you, is your heartbeat. When you would come home and put on the loud and flashy box and lie down, and I would curl up on your chest and sleep. You scratched behind my ears and I could hear your heart even over the purring. It was my favourite lullaby.

The third thing I can remember about you is your smile. Bright and wide whenever I would follow you, or brush by your legs. How your eyes would crinkle when you laughed at the mouse that is in the house but it won’t run away even when I swat at it why are you laughing this isn’t funny I can’t even eat it.

The fourth thing I can remember, is when that smile left. There was a loud noise and you were talking to one of the smaller, portable, loud and flashy boxes. Your smile faded and I didn’t know what to do. Your teeth showed but your eyes never crinkled. 

So I watched you. For a really long time I watched you and the only time your eyes seemed to light up, was when she walked by the window.

So the next time you opened the front door, I ran.

She made you smile and you needed to start smiling again, and when I found her she smelled like flowers. Sweet flowers, and her face was soft and she giggled at my purring.

And when you finally came after me, you could barely speak. You were a stuttering mess and I’d never heard that from you before. I wondered if you needed to go to the vet or something, but you were scratching the back of your neck and blushing so it wasn’t a head issue or whatever.

She found it endearing.

She brought your smile back.

And suddenly, I knew what she smelled like. I knew what her heart sounded like. I knew what her smile was like. When her smell changed, it was confusing, and then there was another person in the house. This one really small and though you and her were tired, the smiles never left.

And I couldn’t help but relieved.

You were smiling again. I’d done my job.

And I was really, really tired.

The smile faded again the next time we went to the vet. After we came home, her smile faded too and that bothered me. A lot. Because you’ve given me so much and you’re supposed to be smiling.

You’re supposed to smile.

And we’re at the vet again right now, and you’re looking at me, and she’s looking at me while holding a little wrapped bundle and I don’t understand why you’re crying.

I’m going to sleep for awhile, I know that for sure. But I’ve done this before and I’ll do it again. I remember all the people I’ve tried to make smile up until now and this won’t be the last time I rest because I’m tired.

You are my everything. You are the person who’s smell comforts me, who’s heartbeat helps me sleep, and smile shows me that I’ve done my job. You’ve taken care of me and loved me and I don’t want you to cry. You made me, me.

You made me Happy.

anonymous asked:

pal you can't just drop an 'Agent Kallus with anxiety issues' headcanon on us and not elaborate. i mean. i gotta know more about this.

So basically Kallus has issues facing members of the Ghost. His guilt clouds his relationships with them, and the mere idea of talking to a member of the ghost civilly conjures up images of when he was trying to kill them all.

Everything bad he’s done to them comes to mind before he has to meet with them, and sometimes he finds himself unable to even speak or leave his room.

He knows it’s irrational, but he thinks they’ll hate him, kill him, or send him back to the Empire.

Sometimes the emotions are so raw and awful, that he finds himself unable to breathe or stand. He can only think of bad things, and lets the fear consume him.

Worst of all, he wonders what would have happened if he killed any of them in the past, and then he goes into full panic mode.

With people he doesn’t know, he’s fine. But with the Ghost, he’s a mess, which sucks because he lives with them.

They all do their part to help him. Ezra and Kanan use The Force to calm him, Hera will take him through breathing exercises so that he won’t pass out, Sabine spray paints his rooms a calming blue (she also gives him pieces of paper to tear just to keep his mind busy on something else), and  Zeb just holds him until he’s breathing steady again.

(I guess chopper and AP-5 play calm music or smth idk)

Put your empty hands in mine (I’m gonna stand by you) - 12x12 coda

Also here on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9812102


They arrive back at the bunker almost at sunrise.

Sam wishes them a goodnight, yawning around the words, and claps Cas on his back when he passes him by. It’s a comforting touch, meant to reassure them both that they’re still alive and well, and Dean immediately longs to do the same. To put his hands anywhere on Cas’ body, to make sure that their friend is truly okay. His fingers twitch restlessly and he balls them into a fist, to keep himself from reaching out.

“You should go to bed, too. You still look like crap,” Dean hears himself say, though there are a million other words burning on the tip of his tongue. Or maybe just three. Three words, finally said aloud by one of them after they were left unspoken for so long.

Cas turns around to look at him, one eyebrow raised. “I thought you said that I look devastatingly handsome?”

Dean is so taken aback by the dry-witted reply, that he flounders for a few seconds. He blinks at Cas, who cracks one of his crooked smiles which he usually directs at Dean whenever he means to cheer him up or comfort him. Right now, it does little to calm the anxious feeling deep inside him, considering that Cas’ clothes are still a bloody mess and he looks utterly exhausted under that smile.

“Yeah, well, maybe I’ll call you that again when you don’t look like you’re gonna fall over any moment,” he answers gruffly and then makes the mistake of stepping closer and actually reaching out to put one rebellious hand on Cas’ left arm.

“Dean, I am fine. My wounds are healed and I will recharge my batteries soon,” Cas tries to reassure him, making those damn dorky air quotes and Dean is taking another step closer, right into Cas’ personal space, before he can stop himself.

He takes a deep, shuddering breath and his grip tightens on Cas’ arm. “Just- just please, take it easy. You’re home now, Cas. And I don’t want you to leave all on your own in a few hours, hell, not even in a few days, okay? Just get some rest and… just stay,” he pleads, the words tumbling from his lips in a desperate rush.

Something flickers in Cas’ eyes, a look of hesitation which Dean has seen there before, but it’s different this time. It seems both more open but also more guarded than ever, which should be a contradiction in itself, but his mind can’t seem to define it any better.

“I won’t leave today,” Cas replies, his voice steady and calm. “But Kelly Kline is still out there and-“

“We have months to find her, okay?” Dean interrupts, not wanting to hear this argument right now. He’s not ready to let go yet, quite literally. “And I will go with you, when you follow the next lead on her.”

That hesitant expression slides off Cas’ face at that and he smiles again, all soft and pleased and happy, and Dean wants to move his hand up to trace that smile with his fingers so badly, he’s shaking with the need.

“It could become rather unpractical, if you don’t want to let me out of your sight again,” Cas says, but he’s only lightly teasing and obviously far more overjoyed and captivated by the way Dean moves even closer, until he can feel Cas’ breath on his face as he speaks.

“I almost lost you tonight. Again. Cas, I – I can’t…” Dean’s voice breaks and he swallows against the painful lump in his throat. His eyes burn at the unbidden memories of Cas lying there in that barn, torn up and bloody and his flesh rotting away right before his eyes, while Dean was unable to help him.

His gaze flickers down to Cas’ lips and Dean can almost see that black mass of goo bubbling up his mouth again and the panic seizes his heart back into an iron fist and he can’t – he can’t let go, he can’t say what he truly wants to say and at the same time can’t think about what he’d do if Cas died without knowing that Dean feels the same way. That he loves him, that he’s family, that he belongs to them – belongs to Dean, just like Dean wants to belong to him.

It’s always been such a scary thought, wanting to belong somewhere or to someone, knowing that good things don’t last and people he loves always either go away or end up dead. But in the last few years they have built themselves a home here at the bunker. It’s not home though, without the people in it. Without Cas.

“Dean.”

Cas’ hand comes up against the left side of his face, shaking slightly, and Dean feels both electrified and worried about that unsure touch at once.

“Did you… did you mean it?”

The question leaves him in a whisper and he almost wants to take it back as soon as he utters it. Because what if he’s wrong? Cas had been dying. They had both been almost unable to keep eye contact, though for different reasons probably, and Dean is afraid that he’s reading too much into it, that those words hadn’t been solely meant for him that first time Cas had spoken them.

But Cas leans in even more, until there’s no space left at all between them, and Dean can smell the filth and blood still sticking to his clothes. He wants to pull them all off from Cas’ body and take him back to one of their showers where he can inspect every inch of him and clean him from every evidence of his injuries. His self-control is slipping alarmingly fast, considering how well he’s always been able to suppress the need of physical contact between them.

“I love you, Dean.”

Cas looks at him unwaveringly, the blue of his eyes intense in its determination and raw adoration, and Dean’s heart seizes so painfully, he thinks he might pass out himself.

He wants to say something. He does. But in the next second his lips are pressed against Cas’ mouth in something that can’t even be described as a real kiss. Dean’s mouth is open, since he can’t stop drawing in a desperate breath of air, and Cas doesn’t react for a long moment which makes Dean stay right where he is, completely still and only breathing against Cas’ lips, even as his body starts shaking.

Something salty runs down into the corner of his mouth and he realizes it’s his own tears, but before he can pull away and hide, Cas finally moves. His thumb brushes against Dean’s cheek right under his eye, wiping away the next tear that threatens to fall, and then he’s kissing back with an urgency that overwhelms Dean’s senses completely.

He doesn’t know how long they remain like that, wrapped up in each other, trading kisses and hushed whispers between each touch of their lips. It feels like it can never be enough and he’s sure that he will curse himself later for waiting this long, until it was almost too late, to give in to the feelings he’s harbored for his best friend for years. But right now he can’t bring himself to care, to regret anything that led them to this moment.

When they finally break apart, Cas is smiling at him and taking his hand in a gentle hold, his eyes alight with happiness. “Let’s go to bed,” Cas says, and he knows instantly and without any doubt that he means Dean’s bed. That Cas means to stay.

A smile breaks out on his own face and he nods, while he tightens his grip on Cas’ hand. “Yes.”

They leave the war room, holding onto each other all the way towards their room. He hasn’t said it back yet. Maybe the words will remain stuck in his mangled heart for even longer, even though he feels certain that he won’t be able to hold onto them forever. But considering the way Cas is looking at him, he knows. And that makes Dean feel more calm about it, more at ease that they will do this right, no matter what life will throw at them in the future.

They will face all of it together, as family.

But there’s one thing to be done, before they can crawl onto Dean’s amazing memory foam mattress and hold each other close like Dean has longed for so long.

He sweeps his eyes over Cas’ body again, the sight of all that blood still painful to look at, and his voice is firm and allows no argument when the next two words rush out of him.

“Shower first.”

———————

A/N: Cas said “I love you”. He said it. TO DEAN. I am still an emotional mess because of it and will probably never recover. So I needed to write this coda down last night, before I could even think about sleep. Edited it today, hoping to think more clearly, but I don’t think I’m more coherent now than yesterday.

Also I suck at titles, but I was listening to destiel songs on my playlist and this stuck in my head. Hope you enjoyed it anyway <3

anonymous asked:

I could use a little advice, if possible. I very much want to get into cosplay, but I don't even know where to begin. There are characters I love, but I don't understand how to convincingly pull off these characters, so have no idea how to choose one. I can't make anything because my skillset doesn't go farther than the most basic repair work, and the premade stuff I've found is pretty expensive. I see makeup tutorials and end up completely baffled, so I'm kind of lost.

Hello there!

First of all, you don’t have to choose a character because you think you can pull it off, regardless of what you mean by that. Want to do an outfit but don’t have sewing skills? You can always learn and practice (or put off the costume until you’ve built up your skills more). Think you don’t look like a character? You don’t have to look like the character. If you want to wear the outfit but don’t look like them, then ignore that. The only time it matter is your personal comfort – if you don’t feel right doing a character you don’t look like, you should let your comfort take priority, but if you don’t want to do a character because you aren’t as thin, attractive, pale, whatever else as them, don’t worry about those things. this isn’t a lookalike contest, it’s cosplay. It’s for fun. 
(Examples of being personally uncomfortable would be things like how I recently did a fem version of a character because I knew I’d be uncomfortable with the fact that I wouldn’t pass as a teenage boy in spandex – still did the character, but I changed some things so I’d be comfortable with it. But if I did cosplay, let’s say, a beefy man like Joseph Joestar, and was comfortable with it and enjoyed it, despite being scrawny, no one should have a problem with that. Your own feelings about your cosplay are what matters. If I did that and someone said something about my size and apparent gender not matching the character’s? That’s not someone I’d want in my life. their opinion doesn’t matter. As long as you aren’t outright being a jerk and harming others, no one has any right to tell you that you are having fun wrong, and you always have the power of the block button if they do.)

The thing with a hobby like cosplay is that we all have to start somewhere. No one is going to go from not being able to sew to pulling out masters-level costumes overnight. Building up a lot of these skills involves a lot of practice and dedication.

That said, you don’t have to make your costumes. You always start somewhere. Are there any characters where you can modify storebought or thrifted items? That’s a great way to get started with cosplay, and you can still dress in costume, but you don’t have to worry about making some complicated. Do you want to learn to sew? Choosing a simple outfit that you can find a pattern for (things like schoolgirl uniforms are great for this) can really help, since it gives you instructions on how to make the item, and you can build up your skills with easier garments and work your way up. If you have money for premade or commissions, that’s great, but if you don’t, you can do a lot on your own for very cheap if you know how to shop sales or can get items at a thrift store. With luck, a good eye for sales, using items from your closet (shoes are the big expense here), and often a little bit of skill (such as dyeing a piece or cutting and rehemming a piece or adding some decoration), you can make an entire cosplay for $15. I’ve done it. 

For building up your skillset, it’s all about practice. Find a very basic makeup tutorial and try following it, step by step. Do it every day, or twice a day, until you master the techniques. Try another one. A lot of tutorials assume that you have at least some basic skills in the area that the tutorial is for, but you can find tutorials that explain every step. For sewing, start with something very simple, like a pillowcase, if you need to. You don’t /need/ these skills, though, unless you /want/ to make your cosplays. Often, however, due to cost and availability (or costumes, of sizes, etc.), you end up needing to make something yourself if you want it at all, or else pay a commissioner. It sounds like making is the path you want to go down, though, and this can include both making from scratch and altering pre-existing items.

It’s hard, but don’t compare yourself to anyone but yourself when it comes to this kind of thing. You just started, you don’t need to be an expert yet. No one was born an expert, which is why things like tutorials exist – people are often more than willing to share their knowledge. If you don’t understand a step in a tutorial, ask. Don’t compare yourself with someone who has been cosplaying for 15 years and works in the costuming industry and has the free time, money, and experience to pull out amazing costume after amazing costume. Do you know what they were doing 15 years ago? Probably starting on their first project, like a simple skirt or a pillowcase or a plush toy. Certainly messing up. Certainly learning from those mistakes as they went. You have the advantage of building on a lot of that knowledge that is now being shared in the community (and so many more materials and resources!), but there’s no substitute for trying something yourself and learning from that. Don’t be afraid to fail. You often learn more from mistakes than from successes. 

As for how to start on costumes, it really helps to take things step by step, a little bit at a time. Look at one item first, rather than the overwhelming whole. Look at one part of that item. Start there. You’ll be far less baffled if you think of it as one small piece, rather than an entire costume. For tutorials, break them down as well. What are they doing in this step, exactly? Can you mimic that? Try it, over and over. 

I also have a Powerpoint on how to choose and plan cosplays here.

Cosplay is a hobby. It should be fun, not an overwhelming stress. I would say to take it slow, choose something simple at first, build up whatever skills you are trying to build (whether that is sewing, armor, makeup, or even bargain shopping), take your time with your projects, and enjoy wearing them, even if they aren’t something that’s going to be winning a contest any time soon. Be proud that you made that. Be proud that you can show off your fandom in that way. Meet new fans. Build up your skills. And keep having fun with it. There’s no wrong way to be a fan.

I hope that helps! :]

Fabrickind / Q&A Staff