i'm a little happier with this version

Oh! There’s a new trailer out for Light of Hope on it’s Steam page!

Little bummed that console versions aren’t out until next year, but at least there’s a release date (I can’t play it since it’s Windows only… T_T).

I’m looking forward to it. I really liked the cast from Skytree Village and I’m glad to see them returning & even even happier that this game is keeping the 3D animated cut scenes.

I’m still not a huge fan of the top-down art style they chose, but I also get that they’re trying to go classic without stepping on Stardew Valley’s toes. Everyone keeps yelling “Why didn’t they go pixel!?” but like, people hate the new Natsume games enough without the accusations of them copying SV on top of everything. >.>;

Anyway, I’m excited for the new game. I’m a fan of all the various farming RPG life sim games, Natsume including.

Can’t wait to see some gameplay for Light of Hope when it comes out!

If things get any creepier
  • Jasper: *playing with doll versions of herself and Lapis* *doing terrible impression of Lapis' voice* Ooooooooh Jasper you're so strong and powerful and awesome and I'm just a sad, resentful little decoration gem who doesn't know a good thing when it's offered to her! Can you ever forgive me for throwing you off that human water travelling vessel?
  • Jasper: *with her own voice* Hmmmmmmmm, MAYBE I'll forgive you if you become Malachite with me again and help me smash those Crystal Gems to pieces!
  • Jasper: *doing Lapis' voice again* Oh yes! Nothing would make me happier! Let's fuse right now!
  • *cut to Steven and Peridot, hiding at a distance*
  • Steven: What's she doing?
  • Peridot: *watching through binoculars* I don't know but it's scaring me.

Calum Imagine: Soon To Be Dad Panic

Author: Rhine

-

He doesn’t know what to do.

He doesn’t even know where to begin, how he’s supposed to even react; what’s right and what’s wrong and there’s no manual, no step-by-step to tell him he’s not going about this all wrong.

How do you even become a father?

Becoming the word was easy – all it took was one night of showing his love to you, all it took was you and him mixed and becoming a father was all science and natural, love and lust, time and patience.

But giving the word a meaning – being more than just a title, being a dad in the sense of word – that’s not so easy.

It’s a mess of trying and praying for success, it’s starting with a complete blank slate and making a meaning of that title that his child would carry for the rest of their lives.

How do you define a word so complex, how do you be that definition?

Because Calum doesn’t want to be the man who’s a mess of mistakes, the man who’s always too far and too oblivious, the man who doesn’t know what to do for his child, for his family – the father who’s there by blood but not by heart.

And how is he supposed to raise a child when he’s away half the year, how is he supposed to even begin when he’s not there?

And when he is, where does he step first? Where does he go, knowing that he’ll eventually have to leave again?

It’s a mess of everything being too much, from not knowing how to sort out his work life and his personal life, to not know what the hell he has to do when he’s more than just a lover and now handed the title of father – Calum is a trainwreck of worries and anxiety, too afraid of every passing day that brings him closer to the inevitable beginning he has to take.

He’s not ready for this, he barely knows how to be a lover to you – am I enough am I too much am I too absent am I too clingy – and throwing in this baby to a mix when he barely has himself figured out as a person to you is just another thing Calum can’t juggle.

He’s too full of anxiety, of worry, of panic – and what if this is the time you see how incompetent he is, what if he can barely play the role as a lover – how is he supposed to be a father?

And Calum knows, he knows he’s supposed to be happy, excited – he’s supposed to be this beaming beacon of joy for the miracle you’ve created together, this magic of creating life – but it feels like a collapse before it even started with all these worries in just the very first step.

And he’s messed this all up before it even begins.

-

“Cal, just breathe.”

“What do you think I’m doing right now? If I wasn’t goddamn breathing then I wouldn’t be sitting here.”

He’s a little snappish to say the least.

His sister tosses her long golden tresses behind her with pursed lips, arms crossed with the faintest quirk of irritation in her eyebrows – any other situation and she would’ve retorted right back, but one look at her little brother’s agitated state tells her that today was not the day for shotgun bickering.

“Cal, what I mean – “ deep breath, steady voice, reasonable sister, “ – is that you need to relax a little bit. You’re overthinking this.”

“And how the fuck am I not supposed to think about all the shit I need to do? All the things I have to be? I have to be this… this guide to something that’s so in need of a figure and I have to be that figure but I don’t even know where to start. How am I supposed to guide someone through a whole fucking life when I don’t even know where I’m going myself?”

She sits down next to the hunched boy, a light hand on his shoulder as she rubs his arm comfortingly, feeling him lean into her like when they were just kids; just her little brother who used to run to his big sister when he needed a place for the tears to fall.

“I don’t know what I’m doing Mali. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do – I don’t know how to be there for her half the time, let alone a baby our baby.”

He sounds so small, so childish and lost; no longer the smirking man that he grew himself to be, but the boy that was always hiding underneath.

“I don’t even know how I managed to scrape by and be the half-assed lover that I am to her – how am I ever supposed to be enough? Do enough? For her, for a goddamn family?”

He’s practically buried in his big sister’s arms now, and it’s the little rabbit hole that he always escaped to as a child, that he thought he wouldn’t be able to fit into now that he wasn’t a boy – but it’s the same warm embrace as it was when he was twelve with a scraped knee, the same comfort for his aching heart even if the problem is bigger than just a bloody cut now.

The older girl hushes the lean boy in her arms until his breathing is steady again, rubbing away all the anxieties that crawled on his skin.

“You are enough. And you will be enough, Cal. It’s why she loves you – so much that she was ready to take this step with you. She wouldn’t have if she didn’t think you couldn’t fill those shoes. She believes in you, and so do I.”

“And I firmly believe that I will fuck this up somehow.”

Calum. We’re all going to fuck up at one point, and you can’t expect this to be effortless – this is a human life we’re talking about – but you can’t let that fear stop you from fixing those mistakes when they happen, and you can’t let that stop you from trying your best. It’s that very fear that’s going to take you down that road, Cal.”

“I’m just so scared, Mali.”

The way he says it reminds her of the way he used to come to her room in the middle of the night, the same words on his lips when she made space for him on her bed, promising him that the monsters under his bed wouldn’t get to him with her there.

“You will be a great father, Cal. And you will figure it out along the way – there’s no ten-year plan you can make for this, no roadmap with pit stops. You’re gonna go along with it, one step at a time – together. Preparing for when the baby comes. Finding out what to do when he or she arrives. Dealing with new challenges with every year that goes. You can’t make something beautiful out of this wonder that you have with her when you’re so busy worrying about what’s supposed to come next. You just have to enjoy it as it comes.”

He takes in the words, tries to let it seep into his skin and chase his worries out, tries to remember that instead of the anxiety that plagued him for so long.

There’s a few moments of silence until the girl speaks again, curling blonde locks behind her ears and looking at him with a face that so resembled his own.

“Did that help or was that just a bunch of bullcrap nonsense?”

“Yeah, no… it made sense. Thanks, Mali.”

“I try.”

“What would I do without you?”

“Probably forget to breathe.”

Very helpful reminder. Probably the most insightful part of the whole entire thing.”

The familiar sass is back in his voice again, the buds of that trademark smirk beginning to form on his lips.

And she can see the first gleams of hope in his eyes again.

There’s no doubt in her mind that he’ll be an amazing father – and she’s just glad he can start to see it like she can.

Albeit a little sassy, but she knows he’ll be amazing all the same.

-

more imagines here!