i'm a dumbass i'm so sorry

Every OJST Comic
  • Erika Moen, buried neck deep in the ground: Hey, guys. Today we have a special guest comic from the guy who lives in the sewage pipe behind my house. Hopefully this one doesn't get too FILTHY for you.
  • Some Guy: Gee, it sure is boring around here.
  • Dirt Monger: *poofs out of nowhere*
  • Some Guy: Who are you!!!????
  • Dirt Monger: I'm the dirt monger and I love eating dirt for sexual pleasure.
  • Some Guy: You mean shoveling tons of dirt into your mouth!!!!!?????????????????
  • Dirt Monger: Yes, it's a completely valid normal way of exploring your kinky identity.
  • Some Guy: But, isn't eating dirt SUPER UNHEALTHY.
  • Dirt Monger: Not at all if you follow SAFE DIRT PROTOCOLS. Always make sure to wear dental dam while consuming dirt sexually and to never actually swallow dirt because you don't want that shit in your stomach. Set up code phrases with your partner like "More Dirt" and "Not Enough Dirt" if you don't think you're getting your fair share of dirt shoveled directly into your stupid fucking face.
  • Some Guy: Wow, I'm so turned on right now.
  • Dirt Monger: That's the spirit. Consuming dirt like a human backhoe is a great way to bond with your partner and discover more about yourself as well.
  • Some Guy: I can't wait to eat dirt like the disgusting troglodyte that I am. Actually, can we mud too?
  • Dirt Monger: No, you dumbass! Dirt and mud are completely unrelated things! I'm the dirt monger, not the mud monger! Do you think I'm stupid?
  • Some Guy: Jeez, sorry I asked.
  • Dirt Monger: Hahaha! One more thing, eating dirt has a direct connection to several radical far-right subcultures. Googling dirt eating may take you down a dark path. I just want everyone to know that they do not represent the whole of the dirt eating community. You can practice the sexual consumption of dirt without turning into a nazi. We completely and entirely disavow fascist dirt eaters. THANKS FOR READING.

ok re: last reblog (”Imagine your OTP getting really confused while trying to build IKEA furniture.”)  taking it out of tags because it’s too important– 

humor me and allow the possibility of ishihime and ichiruki like even if you hate it sorry scroll past or pretend this is a platonic set-up

Uryuu and Orihime are IKEA MASTERS. They could win competitions. They are agreeable and efficient and ON TASK with the few exceptions of when Orihime tries to get creative in the middle of it and Uryuu distracts her by promising they can add weird throws or pillows.

Ichigo and Rukia are IKEA DISASTERS. They argue through it. They cannot find half the pieces and argue over how to interpret the instructions. Eventually, they’ve (read: Ichigo) managed to break the other half of the pieces. 

Rukia calls Orihime. Orihime and Uryuu have to come over – Orihime undoes the damage. Uryuu proceeds to put together the furniture, but only after making Ichigo ask nicely, and then while reading the instructions aloud in as condescending and obnoxious a way as possible.

(Chad is always there to test the durability of the finished product)

Volleydorks searching their names in Tumblr tags
  • <p> <b>Oikawa Tooru:</b> Everyone loves me. BUT HEY!! I AM NOT THAT GAY and not ThAT flirtatious!<p/><b>Iwaizumi Hajime:</b> Yes you are . Trashika- *sees photo sets of IwaOi*. WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. HOW DID THEY KNO-- *covers mouth*<p/><b>Hinata Shouyo:</b> They are so proud of me!!! But no!! It's not cute when Kageyama calls me dumbass! It's scary!!<p/><b>Kageyama Tobio:</b> W-whaaa--?? *sees kagehina photosets* I don't get flustered that easily!! *face flushes*<p/><b>Tsukishima Kei:</b> I am not childish. And no I am not a French fry.<p/><b>Yamaguchi:</b> *sees Tsukkiyama fics and photo sets* TSUKKI I'M SORRY!!<p/><b>Sawamura Daichi:</b> They know I am a true father figure. BUT I AM NOT BAD AT PARTIES.<p/><b>Sugawara Koushi:</b> I get so much praise! A mother figure ! Nice *shining sugamama smile*<p/><b>Nishinoya Yuu:</b> Tanaka-san!! Look! Girls love me! They say I'm cool!! I might get a girlfriend here!<p/><b>Tanaka Ryunosuke:</b> Dude! They understand my awesomeness! And our Bromance is strong!!<p/><b>Azumane Asahi:</b> Why... Do I... Bottom? And acts like a girl? *heart shattered*<p/><b>Little Giant:</b> I dont even have enough air time. But wtf do they think I am KAGEHINA'S LOVECHILD.<p/><b>Bokuto Koutarou:</b> KUROO!! THEY THINK WE'RE THE DORKIEST AND DUMBEST AMONG EVERYONE!! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN. I KNOW IM THE HOTTEST!!<p/><b>Kuroo Tetsuro:</b> ITS YOUR FAULT YOU DUMB OWL. ITS YOUR IDEA TO HAVE THAT HOHOHO CONVERSATION. OH AND THEY THINK I'M THE HOTTEST. Kenma agrees.<p/><b>Bokuto Koutarou:</b> No!! Akaashi! Fight for MY Honor!!!<p/><b>Akaashi Keiji:</b> .... *walks out<p/><b>Kozume Kenma:</b> No I don't Kuro.<p/></p>
10

What do you do when you’re gem trash and also derg trash?  Answer: make dragons for the characters! 

Bonus dragons:

Greg

Connie

And Stevonnie!

8

———I’m sorry for breaking your heart

mgannkent  asked:

hey sorry to bug you but what fonts did you use on that batfam generations post you made?

it’s no bother! i used a few different fonts;

  • ranger regular shadow
  • roboto-bold
  • roboto-medium
  • snickles
  • permanent marker

i’m,, not sure how accessible they will be for you tho, bc they’re all from an app called phonto. in a dramatic plot twist, i’m actually a dumbass who has no idea how to work photoshop, so i make all my edits on my phone,,, i’m assuming you make them on your computer and i’m really sorry but i have no idea if phonto can be used on a desktop or even what fonts from other editing tools are similar. this response probably doesn’t help you at all gjjhb i’m really sorry that i don’t know shit about editing, but i’m sure your edits will turn out great anyway!

so i saw a post reacting to my rant and it basically said i was saying Sans is an awful person, and shit like that, and ugh that kinda gave me a super bad taste in my mouth, because??? no?? i never said that.

anyway, so here’s another rant on ~Sans~

also, if the person who posted that (you probably know who you are?) see this, i’m in no way calling you out, or angry with you! your feelings are totally valid, and tone is kinda hard to read over text, so, yanno.

(also i’m not linking to their post, bc i don’t want them to get any kind of asks about it. like. no thanks sir.)

ANYWAY LET’S TALK ABOUT SANS, AND HOW, EVEN THOUGH HE IS A JERK, HE IS NOT AN AWFUL PERSON, IN ANY FUCKING WAY!!!

so first of, Sans is a flawed character. he’s not perfect, heck, he has a lot more flaws than he has good qualities. (which is very relatable, tbh. like, same Sans. same.)

Sans is lazy; like, this has nothing what so ever to do with his depression, though it most definitely hasn’t helped. Sans is just, in general, a lazy ass person, which, again. #relatable

as we all know, Sans won’t fight you, unless you kill literally everything you can get your hands on. like, that is not something an unlazy-person would do, i’m sorry.

he spends pretty much the whole game asleep; he doesn’t help Frisk in any way, shape, or form, even though he promised Toriel he would. like, you can’t argue with this. Sans doesn’t do anything, and that’s fine?? i love this shitty ass goblin who sleeps constantly, and makes jokes at your expense. it’s a mirror to Papyrus intense desire to help, and it’s really neat characterization.

from what we can gather, Sans rarely does anything- Papyrus has to poke and prod and drag him into stuff, and sure, Sans says that he isn’t lazy, that “it’s the farthest thing from the truth,” but here’s where action speaks a lot louder than words, and damn it Sans, you’re kind of self-centered.

(which Papyrus is too.)

also, because @uselessundertalefacts​ just pointed it out: yes, we know Sans does stuff. read bedtime stories, has that telescope, a lot of things, actually. but: we only hear about them. and, look, here’s the thing: if you like something, you’re more likely to do it.

Sans likes going to Grillby. he likes reading bedtime stories for Papyrus, he likes playing pranks, and look. i’m lazy. i’m so god damn lazy, but i still do those kind of lowkey stuff i like to do. yes, it’s something he does, but it doesn’t negate the fact that he’s lazy.

like, if it doesn’t take too much energy, it’s fine. going to Grillby’s is literally just a teleport away. Papyrus is the center of his universe, so yes, he’s going to do anything and everything for him.

look, some of the reason he doesn’t do a lot is his depression. but some of it, is because he is lazy. and that’s not a bad thing? like, it’s just a character trait.

and okay, passing on from that thread, because we can defo talk a lot about that, let’s just. go onto something else, namely: Sans, and his behavior towards Papyrus.

(also, a little segment i had to delete, but i feel still has a good point: it’s implied that Sans is working on the machine. yes, i agree that he probably have something to do with it, but it’s kind of a forgotten project, wouldn’t you say? it’s covered up, pushed into a corner, and that’s.. not really the sign of someone working day and night on it.)

anyway: Sans and Papyrus.

Sans loves Papyrus. like, this is a fact, it’s so god damn obvious and in your face, there is no disagreeing on this.

but. but.

just because you love someone doesn’t mean you’re doing what’s best for them.

it’s not something you’re aware of. not really. sure, you know you do it- you know that maybe, it’s not the best idea ever, but you don’t get it, because you’re not that person.

Sans lies to Papyrus. Sans lies a lot to Papyrus, and that’s hurting Papyrus. it hurts Papyrus when Sans lies about shit, and that’s not something we can argue about.

Papryus isn’t a kid.

but! just because Sans is hurting Papyrus, it doesn’t mean he’s a bad person.

Sans is lying to Papyrus because he’s trying to protect him. it’s dumb, yes, but Sans just wants to keep Papyrus happy, and that’s… not a dumb thing.

Sans loves Papyrus so much. Papyrus is literally his whole world, and yeah, maybe that’s not such a good thing, but that’s how it is. that doesn’t make Sans an awful person.

hell, that doesn’t even make Sans a burden on Papyrus. he’s just a bit self-centered, a bit too caught up in himself. Papyrus loves Sans too, remember, and that doesn’t go away just because Sans has a bad habit of lying.

hell, none of this has anything to do with his depression. it’s all because of his own character flaws: Sans is, at heart, a tiny bit too easily caught up in himself, which is understandable. you have to put yourself first, always, because you have to take care of yourself first.

in fact, some of it does lie on Papyrus- he should tell Sans, instead of just accepting it with a smile. but Papyrus is just as afraid of burdening Sans, as Sans is afraid of burdening Papyrus, and yeah, they’re kind of both dumb that way.

so yes, Sans is kind of a jerk, but he’s not an awful person, and i feel like i suddenly have to stress that. maybe because i rant so much about Sans, pretty much always negative, but that’s because there’s so many issues in how people see him.

canon!Sans is a good person. he’s a bit of a jerk, yeah, but he’s still a good person, and i don’t know why anyone would ever think otherwise.

anonymous asked:

Imagine: Ever since the kidnapping, Kirishima has been haunted by nightmares in which he isn’t in time to save Bakugou, or how the villains got to him first. Bakugou learns this because one night he hears Kirishima screaming his name in the other room. The next night, Baku grabs Kiri before going to his dorm and tells him “You’re sleeping in my room tonight” Kiri learns that he sleeps better with his head in Baku chest's, hearing his heartbeat and Baku caressing his hair. (Fluffy SHIT TF)

Now you’ve done it. You sent me a fluffy hc about my otp. I have to write something about it. I just have to. It’s lhe law. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.


Bakugou doesn’t sleep as soundly as he used to. He used to sleep like a rock. His mom even tells to anyone that listens that she used to walk to his crib several times during the night to check if the boy was still breathing. He used to just fall on his bed, pull the covers and get completely unconscious for good seven hours at least. A bomb could drop by his side and he wouldn’t even notice.

Not anymore.

Since… recent events… Bakugou has started getting antsier. He finds harder to fall asleep. He’ll wake up at the smallest noise. He sometimes has unpleasant dreams that wake him up and keep him awake until the sun rises. Lately, nighttime hasn’t been easy for Bakugou Katsuki.

And then he finds out things has been difficult for someone else as well.

Keep reading

Tokyo Ghoul Characters First Spoken Words
  • Hide: Scary. The Takada building's pretty close to here. You'd be eaten up in a second, Kaneki, a scrawny kid like you who's always reading incomprehensible books.
  • Kaneki: Wh...What do you mean, incomprehensible? Hide, if you would just pick up a book you might get it.
  • Juuzou: Ahhh. I'm the one who should be sorry. I was lost in thought for a second there. Well then, goodbye, I'm in a hurry.
  • Shuu Tsukiyama: Sorry to barge in so rudely.
  • Uta: I thought I'd try to scare him.
  • Ayato: That meathead can't do shit. Jeez, what is that dumbass doing? Useless fucking trash. Like this, Yamori and that fag are going to surpass me. Since the merit of securing Rize is huge.
  • Shinohara: Oi, crybaby Amon! Yo, you about to burst into tears again?
  • Touka: For the table in the back.
  • Rize: No.
  • Yoriko: What is it, Touka?
  • Yoshimura: Touka, that's enough for now.
  • Nishiki: Blondie coffee is the best of the instant brands, you know, has a real flavor you could say.
  • Hinami: Hello.
  • Yomo: I've already heard about it. Hurry up and get in.
  • Ms. Ryouko: Oh a new worker?
  • Arima: Marude, please keep your scornful words towards the dead to yourself.
  • Amon: We should hurry up and find that parent and child quickly.
  • Mado Kureo: The 20th Ward? Haven't been here since the Owl case. How nostalgic.
  • Kimi: Um...Nagachika.
  • Banjou: Hagi, Kamishiro hasn't gotten used to them yet. You're being too strict. The investigators haven't started to make their move yet. So there's no need to dog her so much.
  • Yamori: Yo, Ayato. I was waiting for you.
  • Tatara: Yes. Come here.
  • Nico: I had heard that your sister was here but I didn't think she'd be a shop employee. You're both so beautiful. I'm jealous.
  • Eto: Okay
  • Akira Mado: Hey. Do you have any business with my father? Amon Kotaro.
  • Naki: Hey, hello there nurse
I'm sorry not sorry~

It’s really upsetting how some people are talking about EXO and saying “They don’t know any better…”, “They grew up believing that..” stop all that bullshit! People are raised with a supposed ‘pre concieved’ notion, but you can always change it~ 

For example, look at the Ghanaian model Sam Okyere he started out as a student in Korea and now he’s a well know name in Korea. So when you say “Isn’t it regular for them to like pale girls, or only Korean women?” You’re just making stupid excuses for them. They know what’s right and what’s wrong to say, especially when you influence as many as they do.

Here’s another example, I was watching a variety show where they had asked Onew of SHINee “who’s the beautiful noona who caught you eye first?" and he had chosen a beautiful noona from Nigeria name Eufrasia. Also, in an interview early last year (I think) they had asked Yongguk his 'Ideal american type?’ He had pointed to the interviewer, who was a gorgeous dark skinned female named Morgan. So truly, it’s not about how you were raised or "what you know.”

Also, stop bringing up how much more albums either one of them sell. Album sales don’t mean SHIT. In the long run it’s about their personalities and skill that will make them successful.

Like, Chanyeol’s racial comments may be funny to him and others, but not to everyone. Saying that someone resembles a black chair is not only rude, but that’s extremely racist, because what would he say if an actual african american person was in front of him?

Like, Lay’s comments about gay men, “not being real men” is over the borderline of rude, because the last time a checked he wasn’t showing any type of manliness in any type of way.

And Baekhyun’s comments about members being like autistic children and high school girls being sluts. I bet he wouldn’t dare ever say that to an autistic child or teenage girl’s face, not only because it’s rude, but it hurts people.

I’m not saying that I don’t like EXO, to be honest I really respect their success as hard working idols. Plus, it’s not only them who do this, but what I am saying that I really hate their certain personality traits and tendencies. I also hate when fans make extremely dumbass excuses on their behalf, attempting to justify their un-apologetic behavior . They have their own mouths, and they have their own brains.

They make their own choices, so why are you making the consequences that come with those choices yours?

that 70's show
  • Aries: "I think we all just need to settle down. *Yelling* JUST SETTLE DOWN! WHO'S YELLING? WHO IS YELLING!"
  • Taurus: *Admitting, after years of saying he hated her and doesn't care about her, that he loves her* Jackie...I love you.
  • Gemini: "What have I said about comparing your sister to the devil?" "It's offensive to the devil?"
  • Cancer: "I ruined it. And I knew I was ruining it while I was ruining it. I just kept on ruining it."
  • Leo: "Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." "I pity you because you're dumb."
  • Virgo: "And just so you know, I'm sorry, too." "Too? No, you're not sorry too, you're sorry one, I'm sorry too."
  • Libra: "I AM the bitch, and you love me!"
  • Scorpio: "So! I guess this is the way an immature engaged highschool dumbass, with no car, no job, and no money trims the hedges."
  • Sagittarius: "*Laughs* No way! That's funny this looks like a normal gym but it looks like I've stumbled into the mouth of hell."
  • Capricorn: "I'm not loving anyone that I am not legally required to."
  • Aquarius: "I'm running a dojo of coolness."
  • Pisces: "Don't put me in your fantasies. I don't even like being in your real life."

anonymous asked:

So um, I think the reason so many protagonists are male is because men have always been in the front line in combat, and that's because it's been proven that (not being sexist) that men are defaultly physically superior... I say again that I'm just saying that from a scientific/medical standpoint... If I sound like a dumbass I'm sorry I just woke up and I saw ur account and saw the earlier post about this and wanted to give my thoughts on this

“Do you believe that my being faster, stronger has anything to do with muscles in this place?”

Video games are entirely abstract constructs, created solely from the rules of our own making. We try to model the game rules after real ones in some amount of similarity, but things like muscular development, or traditional front-line combat fighters mean almost nothing when you’re talking about a fantasy or science fiction world that can choose which laws of physics it wishes to adhere to. There’s really only one reason why the default protagonist in video games is a middle-aged white man - the developers and publishers choose it to be so.