i'll-be-gone

This is where I leave you. Here, where
all the kisses we shared are scattered
on the floor like war wreckage. Who
fought more, I wonder? My hands are
bloodier than yours, my cuts deeper. I have always loved with wild abandon while you were always so safe, so
careful. Why are you standing there
with one foot out of the door? I’m not
surprised, you always have. Say you love me but not enough to stay, not enough to clean this up. It’s too messy, my heart and dreams are all over this
place like tattered wallpaper, where is
yours? Is it in the suitcase, is it whole? This is where I leave you darling,
I will try not to look back, I will try not to look at the pictures on the wall, I will try not to love you anymore because it hurts, it hurts.
—  this is not home anymore // Genefe Navilon

Admin here!

I just wanted to say thank you for 100+ followers! I really appreciate you all very much, esp. because A) I made this blog like two days ago wtf and B) I didn’t think people would like Austria as much lol

I’m also happy because of how quickly I was accepted? The other Google History™ accounts are very nice and sweet and I thank you as well!

[ wait. so now that we have an ikutsuki here, finally, does it mean there is hope for me to someday witness the rise of a takeharu muse ??  honestly, talk to the lady in the antique shop more often, that’s an advice (inserteyesemojiafteroffcialfanbookandstuff), she knows stuff about him no lie, i could talk about it all day too, shame on clio but… it’d make my muse me very happy. if there is one person she loves more than anyone else and maybe even herself, then, it’s the hot dad. you knew it already. if it’s gonna happen, one day, my muse will do the chicken da nce  ]
    

I have never been happier than the moment your name was mentioned and I realised I had fallen out of love with you. Finally, it was like I was finally free of the chains I had tangled around my head and heart.
—  Getting over you was the best thing that happened to me.
I’m so tired of saying goodbyes. Please don’t make me say it to you too.” She murmured sleepily.
“Would it hurt less if you don’t say it?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No.” She shook her head again. “It will be always the same. Sometimes worse.
—  Excerpt from the book I’ll never write #43
They say love is a joke and the only time I think you really loved me was when I was on down on my knees ready to choke.
But I didn’t care because all I ever wanted was your touch on my skin, it felt safe and I would have done anything for you to be mine.
When I told you how much I loved you, you looked me in the eyes and laughed.
—  my love was the biggest joke
Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #6
Being alone doesn’t mean sitting in a dark room
by yourself, being alone means sitting in a room
full of people yet feeling empty. All my life I’ve
craved the love I gave but somehow it always
missed me. I have a family, I have a roof over
my head and so much more and honestly I’m
so grateful for it all. But this loneliness kills me,
it breaks every dream and shatters any ounce of
hope I’ve gathered after all these years of trying.
I just want to be loved and not just by someone
who’ll leave, not from my family because I’ve let
that expectation go, not by friends who will leave
me when things get hard. I want someone to hold
my hand and tell me I’m not alone and that I will
never face the darkness that lives within me alone.
I just need someone to show me that even someone
like me can be loved, despite being a broken mess.
I swear all I want is someone to hug the broken
pieces back together, to reassure me that one day
everything will be okay and I’ll eventually be whole.
One day I won’t be this broken soul that I am.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #31
Jenseternity / instagram
Freckles dance along her cheeks and her fiery red hair sits in its throne upon her head. She smells like peppermint and freshly baked cookies. Her bloodshot eyes scan the hallway and every word she says is laced with uncertainty. Usually, she laughs nervously and twiddles her thumbs, but when he’s around she flashes a toothy smile and finally lets go. She’s scared of a lot of things: spiders, teachers, big cities, loneliness. But most of all, she’s scared to love. She scared to hold his hand and feel the warmth of his hug. She’s scared of heartbreak, even though it’s nowhere in sight.
—  letters to my best friends, #5

“Give me answers,” she asks, her eyes are blurry with tears, “why do I always drive people who loves me away and wants someone who doesn’t want me?”

I realize I have no answers for that question. Because I also wonder the answer for that.

—  Excerpt from the book I’ll never write #47