i'll-be-gone

Lellinger Aesthetic | Top of the World - The Carpenters

I’m on the top of the world looking down on creation
  And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I’ve found, ever since you’ve been around
  Your love’s put me at the top of the world

yeah ok have my 2am edit thingy bc i’m honestly too lazy to make a video as i planned

ALL BLOG MOVE NOTICE-

To Everyone I Love And Adore- yes you read the title right, don’t judge-

Starting off- I’d like to go ahead and thank everyone for the Birthday Wishes- it means a lot to me! Also- may I just say I love you all and appreciate all the time I have had here on tumblr and all of my blogs. 

Now- I’m writing this to properly explain where I have been for the past month and a half (or is it two months now? I know I haven’t been around as often as I’d like, but the exact time is a blur for me- ) Ignoring the fact I’ve been playing the new Legend of Zelda game constantly- I have been ill. Not a flu like sickness, or even a nasty disease- nothing like that. But, much like in October when I last did a Hiatus on my blogs, I have been tired from the same illness. Apologies for the TMI and girl information- but I’ve been on my period for about 2 months straight now. 

Adding that to my job- I’ve been very lethargic, tired, hard to focus on anything, beset by migraines, light headed issues, loss of appetite. A lot of things actually. I’ve missed work because of this and have spent a lot of my free time just sleeping if I can manage it. At the start of March- I tried not to sleep so much and was able to finally see a Doctor after the convention I went to. They’ve been working with me and I’ve been regaining a lot of my strength. That comes to the issue with my blogs- 

- … surprise to no one, I have too many. Also surprise to no one- I’m not going to delete a single one. However, to help with my focus so that I can stay online and give all my muses (and all of you) the attention you deserve, I’ve come to a decision. This decision doesn’t come easily to me and it’s going to take a lot of work to accomplish. In fact, I’ve been working on it already for a week now-

I’m moving all my blogs. Every single last one of them. They’re not going to be on a multimuse blog- or their own separate blog as they are now. They’re being moved to SIDEBLOGS. Yes, including this one- my main muse. I’ve already set up a blog to serve as the ‘main ooc’ hub that connects them all together where I will post memes, and other ooc info for blog updates and things like that. I’ve also been slowly moving all information of my blogs over to their new sideblogs.

As you can imagine-it’s a lot of work. It also means- I wont be able to follow you all from these blogs, just from the one singular blog they’re all connected to. I’m hoping this will help me keep better track of who I’m interacting with and being able to post things on all my muses without forgetting about them like I do now.

Also- I know this is getting very long- but let me cut straight to the business of this move. The Rules i follow are all going to SLIGHTLY change- at least for a few. But, for my main blogs- I am also going to cut out most of my ships. To start anew and rebuild them back up again. I need a clean slate for a lot of these- mostly because I’ve lost a lot of my drive to write them and I want this to change.

The ships I am cutting out will be the ones that have hardly had any plot progress or interactions- don’t take it as a personal offense to you. As it’s not your fault by any means- but.. I need to do this. For myself and my own sanity. If you would still like to continue a ship or friendship with my muses, let me know. I’ll be completely open to it. 

I’ll go ahead and link my ‘central blog’ for these sideblogs here. (Title is tentative, but may stay as it is. yes- I know, very original) The blogs are not completed yet- so you wont see much. But when the move is done and everything is official, I’ll post again about it and even have a promo posted.  Until then, I may pop on and off on my other muses to send asks or try and do replies- but for now, I’m putting all threads to a halt. 

If you’d like to plot something for the new blogs, though- do not hesitate to contact me!

Now, I’ll be tagging all my rp partners who have some sort of ship/friendship/verse with my muses here- some of you- I wont be starting the ships over or ending them, but I apologize in advance to those who I do end them with. 

@yxminotenshi @venenumdraak @iireeth @koseilucy @theeverlastingartist @fushichounohai @dokuseiryu @freedthedark @kuronekolily @xrushii @nocentis @ignisaestas @abysstrail @lumendraco

Also- I apologize for the very long post- but this all needed to be said here rather than a mile long message in my tags.  Anyway- thanks for reading and I hope you all understand and are still willing to interact with me even after I finish moving my blogs over!

- Love you All! <3

I’m totally gonna draw a shit ton of fan art tomorrow. I’m doing it. Come on Jay, you can do it. DO THE THING.

I have never been happier than the moment your name was mentioned and I realised I had fallen out of love with you. Finally, it was like I was finally free of the chains I had tangled around my head and heart.
—  Getting over you was the best thing that happened to me.
I’m so tired of saying goodbyes. Please don’t make me say it to you too.” She murmured sleepily.
“Would it hurt less if you don’t say it?” I asked.
She shook her head. “No.” She shook her head again. “It will be always the same. Sometimes worse.
—  Excerpt from the book I’ll never write #43
They say love is a joke and the only time I think you really loved me was when I was on down on my knees ready to choke.
But I didn’t care because all I ever wanted was your touch on my skin, it felt safe and I would have done anything for you to be mine.
When I told you how much I loved you, you looked me in the eyes and laughed.
—  my love was the biggest joke
Excerpt from a book I’ll never write #6
Being alone doesn’t mean sitting in a dark room
by yourself, being alone means sitting in a room
full of people yet feeling empty. All my life I’ve
craved the love I gave but somehow it always
missed me. I have a family, I have a roof over
my head and so much more and honestly I’m
so grateful for it all. But this loneliness kills me,
it breaks every dream and shatters any ounce of
hope I’ve gathered after all these years of trying.
I just want to be loved and not just by someone
who’ll leave, not from my family because I’ve let
that expectation go, not by friends who will leave
me when things get hard. I want someone to hold
my hand and tell me I’m not alone and that I will
never face the darkness that lives within me alone.
I just need someone to show me that even someone
like me can be loved, despite being a broken mess.
I swear all I want is someone to hug the broken
pieces back together, to reassure me that one day
everything will be okay and I’ll eventually be whole.
One day I won’t be this broken soul that I am.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #31
Jenseternity / instagram