we’re gonna hit the wall (hold me closer) - a Jakes/Morse fanmix → [ listen ]
01. anna ternheim - i’ll follow you tonight | 02. cherry ghost - black fang | 03. kenna - vexed and glorious | 04. the leisure society - we go together | 05. incubus - admiration | 06. thea gilmore - ever fallen in love | 07. fever ray - keep the streets empty for me | 08. florence + the machine - howl | 09. keane - nothing in my way | 10. damien rice - rootless tree | 11. placebo - running up that hill | 12. taylor swift feat. the civil wars - safe & sound | 13. crowded house - don’t dream it’s over
I just became aware of this happening and wow it’s making me emotional. Not only does everyone look beautiful and amazing, it really strikes something in me. Growing up in a mostly white society, I was always the weird one, not white, not black. My eyebrows and hair and body hair was always thicker than anyone else’s. I was told for a time that I spoke funny and worked hard to stomp it out. On the occasions that my family would actually cook food strong smelling enough to absorb onto my clothes, it would be commented on as a weird smell. And my churidars couldn’t really be worn anywhere without seeming weird so they were forgotten.
So I just came to stomp down something that was a part of my identity. I avoided sunlight to make myself be lighter, tried to dress “normally”, and try to fit into western beauty standards (and for a time, hated myself because I couldn’t).
And honestly I didn’t even have it as bad as some. Thankfully, I wasn’t bullied outright. And I’m sorry for those who weren’t as lucky.
But seeing this movement, seeing all my desi sisters embracing and reclaiming their culture and fighting back inspires me. To stop being quiet when people who pick and chose parts of my culture to make fashionable. To stop being quiet to avoid becoming the “other” again. To stop the impulse of shame and shyness that comes with showing a part of my identity.
Because you are not allowed to make us be embarrassed of our culture for years, to group us into a silly stereotype, and make fun of us for who we are and then turn the very things you laughed at into some kind of fashion trend.