Listen, listen. The fact Eliot Spencer’s response to Parker being upset and asking if they could kill the guy who upset her was a shrug and, “Yeah. I mean, I could.” will never, ever not be important to me.
Jared took a moment to think, and you held your breath in the green room, watching on the screen.
“One of the funny bloopers actually didn’t make the, uh, the gag reel,” Jared replied, and you instantly knew you were done for.
He cleared his throat, already smiling as he began to tell the story that you would never live down.
“So y’all know my gorgeous fiancée joined the cast this year.”
That got a cheer from the crowd, and you bristled with pride before you realised he was about to publicly embarrass you.
“Well y’all probably also know that, while filming, she’s been losing some weight before our wedding,” he continued. “She wants to feel beautiful in her dress, and even though she knows I think she’s gorgeous, she’s doing it to make her happier. Anyway, that’s just backstory. So Y/N’s character still wears the same kind of clothes, and she refuses to try other sizes on until she’s 100% certain they’ll fit.”
A few sniggers went around the room, people guessing where the story was headed.
“So yeah, she was wearing these pants that were at least one size too big, and we had to run, like, really run,” he started giggling, making the crowd laugh already. “And they fell down her thighs, and she fell right on her face.”
The crowd erupted in laughter and Jared had to shake his head, not finished yet.
“She wasn’t hurt, she was fine, but she was- she was wearing-” he was giggling too hard, “These joke panties Jensen got her as an engagement present, that said- they said- ‘If lost, return to JarPad’s lap’.”
The laughter doubled in volume as Jared doubled over in giggles.
“They caught it on camera, so we have the picture up in every single trailer,” he said once he’d calmed down. “We laugh about it now, but she was so pissed about it at the time.”
“She’s gonna be even more pissed now you’ve told all of us,” the fan commented, and he nodded, scratching the back of his neck.