i'll probably delete it later :

6

Star Wars aesthetic: Padmé Amidala

“She was very beautiful. Kind, but…sad.”

6

You know what I’ve just noticed? You know what breaks my heart?

In this scene, when Lexa tells Clarke “Ai gonplei ste odon”, and Clarke responds by “No, I won’t accept that”, you can see Lexa slightly smiling.

You’re driven to fix everything for everyone. 

Even in her last moments, Lexa lovingly smiles, and stares at Clarke. She’s staring at the girl who always makes the best decision for her people, the girl who never backs away from a possibility to make peace with her ennemies, the girl who always wants to save as many people as she can. 

With her last bits of strength, she smiles and stares lovingly at Clarke. 

What she finds is partly comfort, because she knows the girl she loves will always be herself. She will always seek the best in life. Even in the worst situations. 

But as we can see, Lexa has tears in her eyes. She unsuccessfully closes her eyes to hold back her tears, but knows some are still escaping. 

Now, do you believe Lexa, Commander of thirteen clans, a long time trained fighter and leader, who is used to suffering in silence, both physically and mentally, who willingly grabbed a sword with her bare hands, freshly and quickly slicing them in the way, would cry? 

Yes, taking a bullet freaking hurts, but Lexa wouldn’t cry at the physical pain.

Lexa is crying, because as much as she finds comfort in seeing that Clarke is, and will always be, herself in any kind of situation, she knows who she’s leaving behind. She knows that she’s once again abandoning Clarke, and that, once again, Clarke will be hurt because of her. Only this time, Lexa wasn’t the one to make that choice. 

This time, they’re not in the cold, dark woods near Mount Weather. They’re in Polis, the place that made Clarke fall for Lexa once again, a place reflecting hope, and life. They’re in Lexa’s home, a place where they exchanged rough, and yet sweet conversations, where Clarke found peace while drawing Lexa in her sleep, where she found Lexa’s fears and hopes for the future; but mostly, where they found each other, going desperately and hungrily after each other’s lips barely a few hours ago.

Lexa was never afraid of dying, but this time, just to lay by Clarke’s side in their bed, she wishes she could just breathe a little longer.

And this time, as Clarke kisses her goodbye, Lexa falls asleep for good, only wishing she could hold those lips against her own forever. 

Shipping real life people is honestly a little insensitive??? Like you’re forcing your feelings onto them and it’s just not very cool?? I’m not trying to come after anyone, but the T*mdaya stuff is getting to be a lot??? Tom and Zendaya got tailed by the paparazzi for like twenty minutes (I think) today because everyone is so desperate to get a photo of them doing something lovey dovey, even though they both, on multiple occasions, have said that their relationship is purely platonic?? I understand that it’s not the shippers fault that the paparazzi is just being awful, but if everyone could take a chill pill with all the shipping for a while, maybe Tom and Zendaya wouldn’t be put in dangerous situations like they were today???? I’m really sorry if I’m coming off harsh right now, I’m just upset because neither one of them should be getting treated that way and Tom truly looked shaken up and I know that none of the fans want that!

I hold six hospitalizations in my pocket like broken bones. pulling them out for stories later, screaming, ‘look how broken I am.’ screaming, ‘I am broken open and leaking, can’t you see can’t you see.’ screaming, 'I don’t want to be like this but I do, I do. this is all I have ever known, can’t you see can’t you see.’

another patient makes fun of me when she finds out how many times I’ve been here. calls me crazy. this isn’t her first time either but maybe she can see that this is all I’m ever going to be. drowning in this. willingly taking gulps of water in. screaming, 'don’t you dare pull me out.’ screaming, 'the water holds me better than air ever could.’ screaming, 'let me drown let me drown. can’t you see that the sea is ready to take me and I am willing to drown.’ screaming, 'even if I try to tread water, it always sucks me back under. it hurts less if I just let it, can’t you see can’t you see.’

you’ve been here before, everyone says. I’ve been here before, I reply. we all ignore the way I beg them to let me die in the nighttime. we all ignore the way I won’t remember it the next day. we all ignore the way I keep pretending to get better. we all ignore the way everyone keeps pretending that that’s something I can ever be.

I feel like magnus and alec encourage each other when one of them is being difficult or just a pain in the ass for other people. like I can imagine them sitting in a meeting and a clave member tries talking to magnus but is being extremely rude so magnus is like “alexander, did you hear something?” and alec barely hides his smirk and is just like “no babe, maybe it’s something from outside” “hmm maybe, it was certainly not the sound of a clave member being rude to the high warlock of brooklyn” “it couldn’t be, they wouldn’t dare. not after everything you do for them” and all the clave members are sitting there shook and unsure what to do or how to get magnus to cooperate with them.

or there’s times when jace is being super annoying and magnus and alec have just had enough and are like “darling would you mind if I turned your dear brother into a frog?” “no not at all, in fact make him a mouse. it’ll be funny to watch him run from the cats” “ooo I know, I’ll turn him into a stand for your weapons, you know how much I hate when you leave them lying around” “nah, jace would enjoy that too much. he’s always had a hard on for weapons” and jace is just like “tf alec, you’d really do that to your brother?” and alec just shrugs and smiles which cause jace to smile too.

the worst is when the whole squad goes out and both magnus and alec end up drunk and alec becomes outraged when clary says she’s the gayest one there like “how dare you? I am the gayest. magnus tell her” and magnus is like “I can confirm he is so gay. the best gay” “aw magnus, you’re the best bi” and they both go on about how “iconic” they are and everyone else is just like “chill, it was a joke” but they’re both too drunk and too wound up to care until they notice there’s a karaoke night going on and magnus turns to alec with wide eyes and alec’s just like “do it” and everyone’s like please no because they’ve heard magnus sing “don’t stop me now” by queen everytime he’s drunk but it’s too late, magnus is up there and alec’s drunkenly telling everyone “that’s my boyfriend” while cheering an equally drunk magnus on.

a short description of my completely illogical danger days musical:

  • look alive sunshine and na na na are THE dance number. like. these songs are huge. it’s just the ensemble dancing around as killjoys while the fab four fuck around with each other. there’s absolutely a live band onstage with them with the instruments blended onto the set.
  • bulletproof heart is just firefights. not too much on this one (if you have an idea please tell me, i’d love to see your ideas on this completely hypothetical thing)
  • SING is where korse and the dracs are first seen, it maybe follows the video’s plot except. not at all. also where the girl shows up
  • planetary is another fun dance number except not as big as na na na. they’re running from korse except they’re also having fun and horsing around. there’s a big feeling that Bad Things Are Going To Happen
  • the only hope. like i said before, this is the song where jet and kobra die. they’re gone to get supplies and korse storms them. act one ends with them dead.
  • second act: party, ghoul and the girl are all waiting for jet and kobra to come back. anxious, party turns on the radio. cue Traffic Report Bomb.
  • party turns bitter with grief. they leave their hideout after Traffic Report, but Party Poison is just party lashing out at ghoul and the girl for trying to have fun like old times while jet and kobra are dead. 
  • save yourself is when shit gets serious. korse is dangerously close to discovering them; the song is just one big fight scene/dance scene. party tries to go all Martyr and shuts ghoul and the girl in a closet while he attempts to fend off the dracs all by himself. he gets injured, ghoul kills the remaining dracs and the girl gets a hold of one of the rayguns. she shoots the last drac, which is an Oh Shit moment; she’s extremely young, too young to be killing, and yet they’ve driven her to this point.
  • S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W is them running again, but dodging every single little obstacle is a chore with party’s wounds. the girl is still trying to hold onto her innocence after killing someone, and it (killing) should be so casual in the zones, but it’s different with her. the bomb in the song, in this case, is korse. 
  • summertime is when they reach dr. d’s hideout - show pony, dj hot chimp, newsagogo, cherri cola and dr. d are all there. this is the last bittersweet/happy song, with party and ghoul reminiscing about jet and kobra while surrounded by friends. 
  • destroya is intense. korse finally catches up to them; it’s a fight scene again, but with more dancing. dr. d and co. manage to escape with the girl, but leave party and ghoul. party is injured again, badly, while ghoul is in the same position. (idk how to fit in the mythos of destroya and the phoenix witch??? maybe in spoken dialogue instead of the songs…)
  • the kids from yesterday is just party and ghoul talking to each other, remembering the “good ol’ days” while they’re slowly dying. they die at the end, and the phoenix witch shows up to take their masks (again, i need to fit in the mythos w/ her…).
  • goodnite dr. death is the girl, leaving from dr. d’s hideout. he signs off the end of the musical - he introduced it, and now gets to send it off. it sort of alludes to the timeline of the comics.
  • vampire money is the bows! just as energetic as na na na or planetary. such a fun ending to contrast the sadness.

this concludes my rambling about a thing that will never happen