i'll only be on for an hour

I wanted to stomp out of the room and slam the door behind me– to be disgustingly dramatic and Disney-channel like. He would hate it, me, if I did. I couldn’t afford to lose his complete love and interest. That was the only thing keeping me from standing up to both, metaphorically and figuratively, shut him out of my life. So I remained there on his undone bed where only a few hours ago we had sex, the kind of sex that is so utterly intense that neither of us knew whether the passion came from deep-rooted hatred or something much more beautiful. Yet, despite the moments like those when we lost ourselves in the sweat and skin of one another and the sound of each other’s heavy breathing, we always ended up like this. Me, covered only by his t-shirt and a bed sheet I’d spread over my lap, and he, in his Hanes boxers standing with his palm pressed irritably into his forehead–fighting. Fighting because after sex he would whisper, “I love you.” Fighting because I’d reply by poking his cheek and replying, “Love is a social construct.” Fighting because I am confusing and hurt him because I never say it back to him, even after eight months of being together. Fighting because he wanted to break down walls that 24 years of a shitty life built, not around my heart, but around my soul. But he couldn’t understand that. I wasn’t a person. I was a ghost of  a person.
—  Don’t Read Me

Honestly, I severely underreacted to the trailer because the moment I watched it, I phased through several planes of existence and remained frozen in shock for 24 hours straight, contemplating all I’ve ever known and finally coming to a conclusion that after 13 years of waiting I’ll watch Samurai Jack again.

I can still barely wrap my head around it. I’ve ascended, descended and transcended 14 times by now, went through stages of shock, hysterical laughter and actual tears. I’m not a religious person, but I can only assume this is what a religious experience feels like.

Samurai Jack 2017 saved my life tbh.

She stays up waiting for him to call, waiting for him to answer, waiting for that one goodnight text. She’s left alone in her bed, as she painstakingly waited for him all night, only for him to go to bed without calling. They haven’t talked in hours, days, and what’s seemed like weeks. He once told her he loved her, so why didn’t he show it now? Maybe after all this time they’ve been apart, the feelings dissipated. He forgot how beautiful her smile was, how much he said he loved her eyes, and how different her voice was in person. And as he was slowly forgetting her, he didn’t realize that he was also losing her. He didn’t realize the love he had with her until he screwed it all up. Well there you go, and I sincerely hope you’re happy. You lost someone who could have been your entire world, if only you let them in.
—  1.24.17 // for maggie: love is difficult, but it’s also worth fighting for. But the battle is that much more difficult when it’s only one-sided…

ok so, usually even for my big pieces, i tend to only spend about 4-5 hours on them, BUT GODDAMN I’ve spent like….15+ hours on this?? I’m exhausted. I feel like it really paid off though???? I mean I’m really happy with it. I’m also trying to be more art positive, so I’m forcing myself to like it (ง'̀-‘́)ง

Note to self never watch the perks of being a wallflower ever again, it will only bring you pain and sadness. I’m far too much like Charlie, except I have no interests and I never go out.

Lellinger Aesthetic | Top of the World - The Carpenters

I’m on the top of the world looking down on creation
  And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I’ve found, ever since you’ve been around
  Your love’s put me at the top of the world

yeah ok have my 2am edit thingy bc i’m honestly too lazy to make a video as i planned

I’m going to attempt to recap Duchovny in Boston day (February 22, 2017.) Warning: this could get long and sappy because it’s 3 AM and I’m just brain dumping. Under a cut…

Keep reading

Day 1
I cried so hard my mother was scared to leave me alone. She called me from work every hour to hear me breathing.
Day 2
I only left my bed to go to class. Your best friend said you love me more than I’ll ever know.
Day 3
I was finally able to eat a meal without heaving it (and thoughts of us) up ten minutes later.
Day 4
Another girl said you asked her to hang out. I lost it right there in the middle of class.
Day 5
I laughed without you today.
Day 6
I cuddled with another boy but I couldn’t fall asleep in his arms. I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes dry at 5 am. I miss your arms.
Day 7
I posted a picture with the boy. You liked it and it made my stomach feel like knives.
Day 8
I typed a text to send you saying we’re not pregnant but I deleted it. It’s stupid but I wish I still had you to celebrate with.
Day 9
I didn’t think about you today and I swore I was cured. I think my mind was just playing a cruel trick on me.
Day 10
I wore a dress to school and you paused in the hallway to turn and look at me. I thought my heart was going to beat out of my chest.
Day 11
My brother asked me how many times I’m going to listen to the same song. He doesn’t know it’s your favorite.
Day 12
I wore your t-shirt to bed. It still smells like you. God I would bathe in that smell if I could.
Day 13
I opened up to my friends finally. No one can make sense of it. No one saw it coming. I wish I saw it coming.
Day 14
I went out of my way to drive past your house tonight. It gave me a feeling of safety, like the way I used to feel with my head on your chest.
Day 15
What shade of green are your eyes? I promised myself I would never forget them and god here I am. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.
Day 16
Picked up the phone to call you before class. I forgot I couldn’t do that anymore. Who’s supposed to calm me down in the mornings?
Day 17
I wonder who you call now to calm you down on nights when you can’t sleep.
Day 18
Somedays the doubt overcomes me and hangs in the air like a dark cloud. I think maybe you never really loved me, but then that makes the least sense of all.
Day 19
I brought your things back. You told me I looked like I was doing well and I know it upset you I didn’t turn to look back. Little did you know I left and went to our spot where I cried until there wasn’t a dry spot on the front of my shirt.
Day 20
I heard you replaced me and it scratched at my scars but I didn’t bleed.
Day 21
This was a stupid poem about a troublesome boy who held my heart in his palm and who loved me and who destroyed me. But I don’t need you to be happy anymore.
—  they say it takes 21 days to break a bad habit - @needumost
That night, we must have been out there for hours. Just you and I, in the middle of nowhere, with your car stereo on full volume. We danced and laughed and loved. I took you by the hand and made you my home and you did the same. That night, it felt like we were the only people left on Earth, the stars our only company. I think that’s when I knew. I knew that if this was it, this was all my life ever amounted to, that if morning came and set the world on fire and we burned until we were finally one with the stars, and this is all I ever had, it would be enough. You and I would be enough.
—  An excerpt from a book I’ll never write #6 // If this was the end.

anonymous asked:

Yeah I think Harry signed with a Sony record so he could take a weight off Louis' shoulders. I feel like it's his turn to take a break, and I'm not sure if they'll end his stunts rn, just distance him a lot, like they are doing rn. So yeah Harry signed with ~Sony so that Louis would have a bit of a break. Louis have been a lot more discreet since people have began talking about Harry coming in solo, if I'm not wrong. Like, E pap walk and 1 article but that's it? + he has the court thing coming.

Anonymous said to shadyshit91:Like, if he goes on his break, they’ll probably publish at some moment “Louis Tomlinson goes MIA after learning his dear son was not his.” and that would explain everything.

I hope he can take a break and I hope this means it’s ending. I’m sure they talked about this and reached a deal that would benefit both of them in some way 

Anonymous said to shadyshit91:I don’t understand why some people seem to think the boys all had the same goals in mind. Why can’t they just respect that they’re doing different things. I think there is a huge issue with Louis and his PR obviously. But why are people attacking Harry for all of this??

I really don’t know….

Anonymous said to shadyshit91:You know what JoJo? You did too much damage to come back at us your puns now. Not amused.

Exactly it’s that thing “when someone you hate makes a good joke” and you’re just like “yeah ok, next” 

butterflies-and-hurrricanes  asked:

You forgot the meme... are you feeling ill. I worry for you, random. This is abnormal behaviour.

i don’t know…i thought i was fine…i thought i had my life together for at least a moment..but…wow.

This is a new low

guess who didn’t sleep and has class in two hours