i'll never catch up but i'll try

You can’t help it, you look at your phone to see if perhaps you missed their call, but you have no missed calls and no notifications. You start feeling that bitterness forming in the pit of your stomach. You try to distract yourself with things you normally love doing: drawing, writing, reading, catching up with a favorite show but without hearing from them you cannot seem to focus..your minds starts racing and anxiety begins to form…why? You begin to question…why is it that they can go about their night without talking to you but you can’t carry on with yours.
I was meant to be with him,” she said, 
“That’s one thing I do believe. I believe that we were right for each other at some point and that we were meant to be once upon a time. But in this cruel world of reality life changes before you even have time to blink and suddenly everything you had ever known is no longer familiar to you. I do believe that he was supposed to be my last love, the person that I would grow old with. But I also believe that I fell in love with him too soon, that my eyes landed on him before they were supposed to and perhaps we fucked everything up because we went against fate and met way before our time. It’s like we were so perfect for each other but the universe found ways to tear us apart. It’s like when you’re in the sea and you’re trying to catch the waves with your hands. You know.. When it’s right there in front of you but absolutely impossible to catch.
—  Maybe it was for the best

If you could see his heart as a person,

You would see a man with a bruised eye and bloody knuckles.

His body is bandaged up and covered in scars.
His body is fragile, but strong.

His eyes show pain, but is also speckled with stars of hope.

His bottom lip is busted and cut; when he smiles he grits his teeth.

He’s constantly hunched over trying to catch his breath.

His heart, as a person, is fighter.

He fights for what he loves.

—  @loveactivist // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #7

1 year ago today i started writing (and posting) outlander fanfiction on this blog

I’m living life as a
GHOST/GHOST/GHOST

Tonight I’ll stay up late trying to catch myself on tape

I need to prove I exist

—  Ghost town//kayla
You hurt other people because you feel like maybe, if you give away enough of your pain, it’ll stop hurting. But it doesn’t work like that. It hurts because you’re angry, and not at the world or fate or God. You’re angry at yourself, because somewhere inside of you, you know that you could’ve fixed this. But you didn’t, and now you’re angry so you’re hurting people, only deep down, you know hurting people isn’t making you better. So you hurt someone, and then you feel guilty because you know it’s not helping, and you hurt someone else to try to make that guilt go away. Someday, all that pain and anger and guilt is going to catch up with you and it’s going to tear you apart. I just hope you don’t drag anyone else down with you.
—  from an unfinished story #525

“Sometimes you have to wait for what you want,” he said, standing over my shoulder watching me try to shake ink out of my broken pen. Only if he knew. If he knew how many times I had visioned us together, and how that was all I could ever think about. How I felt as if games were being played with my head, yet I was falling to fast to try and catch myself. He was what I wanted.

“I’m too impatient. I will only wait so long until I give up.” I replied, having a feeling we weren’t talking about a pen.

—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #786