i'll miss you ;;

One Last Update

Hello, everyone.

First of all, I’d like to apologize for the radio silence that seems to have become a permanent aspect of this blog. There has been so much going on in my life and a lot to keep up with.

And that’s why I’m writing this post.

While I was hoping it would never come to this, and even though it breaks my heart to have to do it, I’m shutting this blog down.

I absolutely love writing for you guys. I really, really do. But with school and personal stuff, I just can’t keep up with it consistently anymore, and that isn’t fair to you guys.

So what does this mean?

It means that I will no longer be taking requests or posting with any degree of regularity (which I haven’t been doing for months anyway, so it’s really not going to be that different, I guess). 

I’m not dropping out of the writing world completely. I still plan on posting things on this blog if I write them, but I will only be writing as inspiration strikes and when time permits, not on any sort of schedule or to fulfill any requests in the inbox (though those requests will probably still be used for inspiration at times). If something does get written, it will be posted here, but I can’t tell you when or how often that will happen.

I can’t thank you all enough for how much kindness and love you’ve shown me over the past couple of years. Starting this blog was sort of a spur of the moment thing for me. I never expected it to take off the way it did, and I am so incredibly thankful for the wonderful interactions I’ve had with all of you. I made a lot of friends, learned a lot about myself and my writing, and I had a lot of fun.

You all are so amazing, and wish you the best. Thank you for everything.

Love you all.

Bethany

One day, the person you’ve been comforting when they’re sad won’t be there to comfort you anymore.
One day, the person you’ve been kissing in your dark cold room won’t be kissing you anymore.
One day, the person you’ve been there for countless times won’t need your shoulder to cry on anymore.
One day, the person you’ve been cuddling with every night won’t be by your side in the morning.
One day, the person you’ve been in love with won’t be in love with you anymore.
You’d think the reason would be because they’re dead, but they’re not.
In fact, they are very much alive.
Instead, they’re living a life with somebody else.
People think that when someone’s dead, that it’s the hardest thing to go through.
I beg to differ.
Just ask yourself, “How would I feel if someone who I believed to be my soul mate was in love with someone else?”
“How would I feel living every single day without the love of my life?”
It’s torture seeing the love of your life be happy with someone else every single day for months - years - even decades.
Of course, you can say you’re happy that they’re happy, but don’t you want to be the reason why?
Don’t you want to be the one that puts a smile on their beautiful face?
Don’t you want to be the one that makes them laugh at your silly jokes?
Don’t you want to be the reason why they wake up every morning?
Don’t you want to be the one and the only one?
I do.
I want to feel appreciated again.
I want to feel important again.
I want to feel wanted again.
I want to feel anything, as long as it’s you that’s making me feel these things.
We were so happy together.
I could see it in your eyes and the way you looked at me.
I made you feel comfortable with yourself.
I was the only person you opened up to.
So why did you run away from me?

You found a way to be on my mind for eight months. Its been eight months since we broke up. That’s twice as long as we lasted and I can’t get over this.
Why can’t I get over this?
Whats wrong with me?
What did you do?
Why do you make my heart hurt?
Why was it so easy for you to turn around and pretend I didn’t exist and I can’t get up off the bathroom floor?
—  Don’t fall in love with your friends
Multi-shipping Info

This is for me, myself, and I and anyone else curious of romantic ships I got going on with Cami. This is kind of to explain about the ships and how it works.

Yes, I’m a multi-shipper :P I’ll ship anything that I pre-plot or writing chemistry happens. It’s understood that if Cami has a relationship with your character, she doesn’t have any other relationship. Klaus and Cami in any other ships are close friends (based upon seasons). Cami is NOT a cheater, which is why I want to make it absolutely clear, she will have NO RELATIONSHIP with klaus because she will not cheat on anyone.

However, if we do not do any romantic ships, I will be following canon and she will have feelings for Klaus, in a relationship with him, or in love with him (based upon where it is at what seasons/etc….)

This listing also helps me keep organized knowing what ships I have with people.

CANON SHIP/MAIN SHIP

CRACKSHIPS

  • Anyone else?? Will add to this as it happens. Just plot with me, I would love to play thing.
8

I decided to become an artist when I was about your age. I liked to draw so much, I almost hated to go to bed. And then one day, all of a sudden, I couldn’t draw anything. Everything I drew, I didn’t like. I realized that my art up to then was a copy of someone else, things I had seen somewhere. I decided I had to discover my own style. It’s still difficult. But then, the results… They seem to be a little better than before. It’s nice to be a witch, isn’t it? I like the idea - to be a witch, to be an artist, to be a baker… It’s an energy bestowed by the gods or someone, right? Though thanks to it, we do have to suffer at times.

I miss you,

And not in a “it’s one in the morning, I’m so lonely, looking through old pictures” kind of way.

I miss you,

In a “my friends are all laughing, and so am I, but somehow you still haven’t left my mind” kind of way.

I miss you,

And not in a “someone asked me how you were today and I realized I didn’t know the answer” kind of way.

I miss you,

In a “nobody has brought you up in months, but I still tell stories about you” kind of way.

I miss you,

And not in a “it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m alone” kind of way.

I miss you,

In a “you did well on a test and I want to be the first person you tell” kind of way.

I miss you. I don’t just miss the idea of you. I miss you.

—  excerpt from an unfinished book #59 // “breaking up is hard to do”

I always stay up late thinking about you. I stay up late thinking about what I could’ve done differently. I stay up late wishing that I could turn back time. I stay up cursing at the universe for screwing up the timing. I stay up wondering if I ever cross your mind. I wonder if you ever dream about me. Or if your heart skips a beat when you see or hear my name.

I stay up waiting for a message or a phone call that will never come. I stay up thinking about what we could’ve been. I stay up wanting you back.

I stay up because I miss you.

I stay up because I miss hearing your voice.

I stay up because I want you to tell me that you love me, for one last time.

—  LA // excerpt from a book I’ll never write

‘Isn’t it lonely without him?’

'It’s like the stars forgot to come out one night and instead I was left in the dark, wondering what I could do to make them come back.’

—  j.f // but they were too far away to listen to my tears • excerpts of stories I will never write
I miss being missed by you.
— 

I let you go, because I wanted to do right by you. And now you have moved on, and I am happy for you. But I catch myself wishing you still missed me, wishing that you still wanted me.

I know that isn’t fair, that you deserved better and that means that you needed to move on. But I miss being missed by you.

I miss you. I miss all of you. I miss the pointless conversations from dawn to dusk. I miss the good morning and good night texts. I miss talking all day, everyday and never getting sick of you. I miss you showing how much you wanted me. I miss our budding relationship and the little signs that were showed before we fell into love with each other. I can’t say anything else besides that I miss you. Dearly.
—  Ag

i. I miss you. each day that you’ve been gone has felt like a bullet hole in my chest, and whenever I try to pull it out another one takes its place. I’ve missed you so much that looking at you hurts, because all it does is bring back everything I’ve ever felt for you and suddenly I can’t breathe. so whenever you look at me and I turn away, please don’t take that as an “I hate you,” but an “I hate that I can’t look at you without dying inside.”

ii. you are beautiful. you are so lovely in your own conventional way that everyone else are flecks of brown and gray. you are wildflowers in june, the eye of a hurricane, city lights at midnight, sunlight through glass. there is nothing manufactured, nothing plastic about your eyes formed from stars and the freckled marks of the earth sprayed across your cheeks.


iii. I will never leave you. I know the last time you let me in your heart I fumbled and let it break, but please forgive me. I was blindsided and weak and I will gladly spend forever making up my mistakes to you. I have always loved you and always will, it just took me a little longer to realize. but you always knew this, and if you’re still sure then say the word and I will be too.


iv. I love you. not the kind of traditional, puppy-eyed love, but the kind that breaks down walls and can be heard from miles away. the kind that romeo and juliet died for, the kind that our grandparents live for. I love you the same way the ocean loves the shoreline, and no matter how many times I am drawn away, I will always find my way back to you.

—  all I ever wanted to hear
I miss you
But I shouldn’t
Because we’re told,
Not to miss people that have hurt us
We’re told to move on
But that must mean there’s something wrong with me
Because I miss you so much it hurts
I can’t eat or sleep
You consume my thoughts
We’re not supposed to want those people back
But it’s my little secret,
That I wish every night that you’d come back to me
—  Chapters from my life
2

McHanzo Week Day 1: First kiss 

Also! I promised @schmogg long ago that I’d do a drawing inspired by their sweet gifset, so here it is! Sorry for the delay <3