i'll make you fall in love with me

I could write novels about all the guys I’ve been with but I couldn’t write one about you.
I could describe love but I couldn’t describe the way I feel about you.
I could fall in love but I couldn’t fall in love the way I did with you.
—  He makes me speechless.
Being in love is great, don’t get me wrong. The kisses, the “I miss you” hugs, the cuddling, the love. Everything about falling in love is what makes a person remember how great it feels to have butterflies in your stomach and to have your heart beat so fast that your chest is going to explode. Being in love with someone is amazing. But being in love with your best friend, god that is fucking the best thing I could ever ask for. Being in love with the person that makes you laugh so hard that you nearly have snot coming out your right nostril and makes your stomach turn inside out. Being in love with the person that you share secrets with and gossip about people with, the person that says “fuck her baby, she don’t know a damn thing” kind of best friend. The person that you can lay next to at night and can’t sleep until 3 am because you were talking about how people can’t learn their damn differences between they’re, their, and there, and then laugh about it. The person that you argue with about what kind of food you want to eat, or who’s going to be the one to get up from the bed and turn off the light. The person that you can lick their face and they won’t look back at you with a confused face, but sticks their finger up your nose. The person that won’t only being the shoulder to cry on, but the shoulder that will bring you back up and make you stronger than before. The person that will tell you whats wrong and whats bothering them instead of being distant and ignore the situation. Loving someone that you can share memories and laughs with, god it is beautiful. Being in love is great, don’t get me wrong. But being in love with your best friend, that is the most wonderful thing I could ever ask for.
—  I’m in love with my best friend
Someone once asked me, “how do you get over someone the universe didn’t let you be with?”
And it took me awhile to be able to put the right words together to answer.
People have a tendency to want things they can’t have - that includes people too, so it’s no surprise when you end up falling for someone who you’re not supposed to be with and by not supposed to be with I mean you try everything you can to your best ability to make it work but it won’t because let’s face it, you can’t force fate and if it isn’t meant to be - it won’t be. But that doesn’t mean it won’t hurt like hell, I know. Having to accept the fact you can’t be with someone you’re completely in love with is one of the hardest things you’ll ever experience, however I’ll tell you one thing - you probably won’t listen because I mean, I didn’t listen when someone told it to me, but please for the love of god try your hardest to reframe from changing yourself in order to attempt to fit their idea of perfect. You are not the problem. Repeat that to yourself a million times if you have to. Reframe from dying your hair a different colour, don’t change your favourite make up routine because you think he’d like something different, don’t buy the dress you think he’d like more. Do not change yourself just because you don’t feel enough, it’ll only make you feel worse. There is someone out there who you will be more than enough for, wait for them. Do not change yourself to fit someone else because once the universe takes them away to keep you on your destined path - he won’t be there anymore, all you’ll have is you. And that’s a pretty lonely experience if you don’t even know who the hell you are.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write

“You told me that if you love someone, you should be happy to know that they’re happy, even if it’s not with you.” I tell my bestfriend. “So I convinced myself that whenever he finds someone else, as long as he’s happy, I will be happy for him too.”

I wipe a tear that secretly falls from my eyes.

“But I couldn’t. I couldn’t be happy for him. I couldn’t help myself from thinking, ‘why can’t I make him happy?’”

Tears started rolling down my cheeks, but I didn’t bother to wipe them this time.

I let him see how broken I am.

I let him see my vulnerability.

—  37 out of a thousand entries I’ll be writing about you.

I’m sick of boys who pretend they care.
Who lift you up to the clouds
only to let you fall to the ground a moment later.
Boys who kiss your forehead
and promise everything will be okay.
Boys who make you open up
and show every one of your flaws,
only to wish you hadn’t.

I’m sick of boys who use me.
Who grab at my waist
until it grabs my friend’s attention.
Boys who bite my neck
when the girl he used to love walks by.
Who fill my every crack with love and passion
but only until ‘she’ realises what she’s missing.

I’m sick of boys who confuse me.
Who tell me they’re in love
but flirts with every other girl.
Boys who hold my hand one day
and walk past me another.
Who bring light into my life
but also with darkness and pain.

I’m sick of boys who make me feel like my heart is breaking. Who’s name makes me shiver
but also makes me hurt.
Boys who make me wish I could be someone else,
just to make them happy.
Who destroy my whole world,
but don’t even seen to notice.

—  Late night confessions in my mind.
I wish you’ll think of me,
in each and every
turn that you’ll take,
in breaks you’ll make,
in faces you’ll see,
and places you’ll be,
I wish you’ll stop amidst
of a busy crowd,
and search for me—
even if the stars forbid.
—  ma.c.a // Ungranted
He broke my heart. Or perhaps I broke my own. I’m not sure, I can’t quite decide. It’s not like I went into it blind folded, or maybe I did, maybe I chose not to believe the things he said. He told me what he had done to other girls, about how he made them fall in love only to make them fall apart, he told me he never stays around for long, he told me my feelings had no place in his life, you know? Like, he made sure I was aware, well aware that we wouldn’t skip along happily into the sunset at the end of the story. Instead it was more like “and in the end you’ll be crying on your bedroom floor calling my phone and I’ll let it ring while it sits on my bedside table as my lips are pressed against a girl who isn’t you” kind of thing, and god knows that’s exactly what happened. I spent months crying for him, screaming for him, my heart yearning for him every single second of every single day. But I mean, how mad can you really be at someone for being exactly who they told you they were? I knew how it would end and yet I read the book anyway, went along with the storylines as if the moments of happiness were supposed to last despite already knowing they wouldn’t but pretending they would for a good few chapters.
—  Excerpt of a book I’ll never write
I gave up on you because you didn’t do enough to make me stay - I gave up on you because you just weren’t worth fighting for anymore.
—  c.f. // “i hate this part”
Dear Love,
I’ve officially given up on you.
And it’s all your fault, you broke my heart. You have to understand you can’t just come and go whenever you feel like. Sort out your shit with cupid. Because I am sick of you not deciding whether or not to make him fall for me. To be honest I am done fighting for him.
—  Excerpts of stories I’ll never finish// #180
No one could capture my heart the way you did, the way you call me name as if it were a beautiful melody. No one could make me fall in love the way you did, where no one else is worth even the slightest bit of my attention. No one will ever feel like home like the way you did, no one can be you nor could they ever replace you.
—  t.i // Dear the boy with the beautiful brown eyes whom I can’t get enough of.

You make me fall for words again
I watch them dance off my pen

Pages swirl with tragedies
With love stories, with gardens
Whole worlds erected from thin air

And I, a character, arms up
Twirling like a kid in sprinklers

Take my hand! The world has lost its soul!
Get your pen! Let’s write it back in!


C'mon, fall in love with me.
Fall in love with my stubbornness, fall in love with the way I look at you, with my eyes big, without blinking. Fall in love with my fearlessness, c'mon. Fall in love with how I stand up for people and fall in love with how I refuse to give up on them. Do everything you’ll have to to make me yours, c'mon. Fall in love with how smart I am and don’t be afraid to admit that it intimidates you. Fall in love with my insistence on asking questions about everything because I don’t like doing things blindly and fall in love with the way I’m not scared to argue endlessly. Fall in love with how hard I love the things and people I love, c'mon. Fall in love with my imperfect eyebrows and my big nose. Fall in love with my thin physique and my short legs and the way my hideous glasses hide my beautiful eyes. Fall in love with the way I run all around the house wearing shorts and my red hair open. Fall in love with how I can’t stop once I break into laughter. Fall in love with how I worship actors for their incredible acting and not looks. Fall in love with my strong personality even if it clashes against yours, c'mon.
Fall in love with me c'mon, do you dare?


Come, fall in love with me.

And don’t even fucking try to tell me that I don’t miss you. Don’t even think you have or deserve the audacity to do that. You can’t make me fall in love with you and then decide that I don’t miss you. That isn’t how this works. Because I miss you with every inch of my being. All I do anymore is miss you. I miss your smell and your fingers and your laugh. I miss how you would make fun of me and all of our inside jokes, our conversations about the universe and our place in the world. I miss my best friend. And you most certainly don’t get to try to tell me otherwise.
—  missing you is consuming me
I am not the kind of girl
That people fall in love with
My smile doesn’t melt hearts
Or create butterflies
No one sees me and thinks
“Wow, isn’t she something?”
And when I smile I hope he’s watching
And I hope that it’ll change
And maybe he’ll see that I’m happy
And want to make me feel that everyday
And maybe he’ll fall for my smile
The same way I fell for his
But when I laugh he just laughs at me
And how my eyes squint different shapes when I smile
And my face falls just a little
Just enough that he won’t notice
And my blue eyes lose a bit of their sparkle
But it’s not like he’ll even see
Because his eyes are falling in love with someone else
His eyes that obliviously hold my whole sky
Are gazing at her
And my eyes are a river
Flooding out every night
And never quite as full as they once were
—  Unrequited Love
We both fell for each other, but now I’m the one falling apart. I want you, but you want her.
—  10:07pm// journal entry #13
you ruined me as a human being. you completely destroyed me and i don’t know how to come back from it. i’m trying to find myself but just as things start to make sense to me i feel the thunder rumbling in my bones again and they shift and move and everything falls right back out of place and in left swallowing down blood and lashing out on people, insisting that i am fine. i am trying so hard to be steady and stand on my feet again but sometimes it’s just so goddamn hard.
—  but i am trying and that’s gotta count for something

marry me.
let’s spend our week nights eating cereal on the floor
when there is a perfectly fine table behind us.
we can go to the movies and sit in the back row
just to make out like kids falling in love for the first time.

marry me.
we’ll paint the rooms of our house
and get more paint on us than the walls.
we can hold hands and go to parties we end up ditching to drink wine out of the bottle in the bathtub.

marry me.
and slow dance with me in our bedroom
with an unmade bed and candles on the nightstand.
let me love you forever.
marry me.

—  unknown
Can I fall asleep with your lips touching mine and your limbs wrap up around me? I promise you to volunteer my own heart to shush your fears, and when you want to stop breathing, I will share you my breathe, the space I occupy, my soul, and even a part of my eternity, just to make you mine, just to make you feel loved.
—  cynthia go // Hush // excerpt from a book i’ll never write #21 ( @cynthiatingo )
So let me tell you a story about this guy I know, he’s sorta shy, really quiet and the type who likes to keep to himself. He has a hard time living in the world we live in and he’s not the type to follow the crowd or keep up with rapid change in society. He is incredibly gorgeous, my goodness he has those eye, those dreamy eyes that make you weak at the knees. He has a smile, a smile so radiant it will forever be indented into your memory no matter how hard you try to erase it. He is broken and some nights he wishes to never see another waking day, he is the type to have 2am thoughts about things he shouldn’t be thinking about. He is scared, scared of love so he pushes it away in the hopes that you’ll pull him closer. He is possessive over what is his and no one can take what is his. He will love you like no one ever has before, he will creep into your mind when you try to leave the thought of him behind. He is all kinds of wrong but loving him has become your drug and no matter how hard anyone else tries, no one will steal your heart the way this boy did.
—  t.i // To the boy I fell madly in love with.