i'll love this quote forever

And I wish you could. For my sake and for yours, I wish you could. But you can’t. You can’t kiss his previous lover off of him or love her out of him. And I’m sorry because I really wish you could. I wish you could erase every last damn trace, but you can’t. And maybe that’s okay though because maybe that means his next lover won’t ever be able to erase you either. You’re permanent.

-C.C.

I imagine that to others, we appeared like a knot. We were messy and dysfunctional, and constantly tangled up in each other. Our limbs, our emotions, our lives. I was always trying to smooth out the rougher parts of you and you were trying to untangle the disaster that my life was becoming. I don’t know how we became so caught up in each other, but my God I was never happier to bend and twist myself around the prospect of someone’s happiness.
—  Clinging onto a dead love will only bring out a pair of scissors.
And next thing you know, you’re awake, crying, at 3 am with no one to talk to and that’s when you realize that you’re completely and utterly alone.
—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write #7 // D.P
You chose her. You married her. You have a kid with her. So why is it when you’re lying in bed awake at 3:00 am I’m the one you call. Why is it that when you’ve had a rough day my number is the first you dial just waiting for me to say “Hi Prince.” You left me for her so why is it that you still have my pictures saved and even after 5 years of being apart you’ve still managed to hold on to them. You’re with her so why is it that every year on my birthday at 12:00 am you’re the first to say “Happy Birthday.” You’re married to her so why is it that when we both walk past you, your eyes linger on me. Why did you choose her if you love me?
— 

Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #350

01/31/2017

8:10 pm

-What do you want? -Help you. -Nobody can do … -Just let me try. -Why should I do? -Because I know that I can hold your hand and risk my own balance provided keep you afloat.

“What scares you about this?”

“I don’t know, I suppose it’s because I had a shit day at work and usually I would just want to go home and crawl into bed and cry and order pizza in and watch sad movies but you make me want to talk about my day and what happened and why it was so bad and, for somebody who hates talking about themselves, that’s fucking terrifying, you know? Finding someone you want to talk to, like really talk to, is scary because you don’t know how long they’ll bother listening.”

—  Because I could talk to you forever, 24/11/2015

You’re the girl that nobody really notices, the girl that blends. You turn to background noise, you’re easy to forget. You long for someone to pause and notice; the gentle dips of you, the eyes that are forever distant and the cuts that cover your wrists. You need someone to intertwine your soul with, to make you feel whole. Too bad, the fact that, you weren’t built for love.

For the first time, I’ve found someone I hate leaving. I’ve found someone that I can’t get enough of. I’ve found someone that accepts me for who I am and doesn’t tell me I need to change. I think I’ve found someone who I can fall madly in love with.
I swear the day I met you, I knew you were going to be something, but when we talked for the first time, you could hardly meet my eyes. The first time we kissed, I turned away as you went in for a hug, and I raced away to my class out of embarassment. The first time we held hands, it felt disjointed, as if your hand was too big for mine, and had to stay open to accomodate for the difference in size. The first time you made me cry, you didn’t apologize, and it was not the last. The first time we got back together, it was all the same, and it ended again. And again. The first time I looked you in the eyes and walked away without saying a word, I felt as if the pulsation in my veins ran slow. The second time we met, it was different, and I could feel that you had grown a little without me. When we kissed, it was the first time I didn’t want to let go, and when we held hands it was like they were made for eachother, like a lock and key. When you made me cry, it was because I was so entranced by the way your words rolled off your tongue that I forgot how to blink, and when I looked in your eyes and walked away without saying a word, it was because I knew what you wanted to say, but you couldn’t spit it out, and it hung low in your glistening eyes as you looked at me. I was told to swear not to submit to the things you may persuade me to do, but your love was my biggest persuasion and you touched my naked soul in ways your hands could never accomplish. Now, every night we promise to wake up and still want eachother, and I can’t help but think back to where this all started. A few words was all it took, and I was yours indefinitely.