i'll love him for life

Dear fate,
I usually don’t believe in you.
But it can’t be a coincidence that I keep running into him daily. I think I got the hint. You believe we belong together, don’t you? And when he greets me with laughter in his eyes, I start to believe it too. So please, can you give us another chance? Just until he realizes it?
I’ll try to make it. I promise.
—  letter to my fate #1 (via ifallthethingswerereal)
She watched the sun dance across the sky
She watched the sky bloom into cotton candy colors
She watched the clouds melt as the sun kissed them goodnight
She watched until the last hues turned grey
Finally at peace, to be under the same sky as him.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write, 53
I miss you
But I shouldn’t
Because we’re told,
Not to miss people that have hurt us
We’re told to move on
But that must mean there’s something wrong with me
Because I miss you so much it hurts
I can’t eat or sleep
You consume my thoughts
We’re not supposed to want those people back
But it’s my little secret,
That I wish every night that you’d come back to me
—  Chapters from my life
I never quite understood why girls would cry over their broken hearts, or whine about how much ‘he loved her’ or spend their days constantly thinking of him. But then I fell, I fell hard. And it all became so clear: the late nights, endless tears, the constant babbling. It suddenly made perfect sense.
—  Classy
I hope one day the thought of me makes you realize how good you had it and how stupid you were for throwing me away.
—  Lost words and random thoughts // boy oh boy, karma is coming for you
I’m not the same person you fell in love with, nor will I ever be that same person again. My heads gotten a tad darker, and my hearts’ gotten a tad colder, but I still know who I am. There’s a lot that’s changed about me, yes, but the way I look at you and want to grab your hand every time you’re around has never changed. My love for you has never changed darling.
—  An excerpt from a book I’ll never write. (#58)
I want to tell you that you make me happy, I want to tell you that I love being around you, I want to ask you if you feel the same about me, but I don’t know if your answer will be what I want to hear, what I’m craving to hear, and I know that if it’s not, I’ll break. So instead, I’ll smile when you’re around, miss you when you’re gone, and write when I’m unable to tell you how I feel.
—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write, 38
“Just friends is better than unrequited love”
The saddest yet most beautiful story,
is when the sun created oceans from his tears,
so that the moon could see
how much he misses her,
when he died every night
to let her shine.
—  Does it take an ocean for you to see how much I miss you?
I saw you walking down the hallway and my heart instantly started racing. My palms got sweaty as we made eye contact. My breath hitched as I saw your tall frame walking on the opposite side of me. You make me nervous every time I see you.
—  today // 3:48pm
If he loves you, he will make the effort.
—  relationships aren’t always 50/50. There are times when you will get up & feel like giving 10%. Then your partner has to give the remaining 90%. But there must always be 100% love.

I know I was never the greatest and I was never near perfect.

My hair was a mess. My eyes had bags under them. My lips were chapped, and my skin was dull. I’ll admit that some days I wore too much makeup, but other days I didn’t wear enough.

I was covered in scars whether on my skin, or on my heart.

I was covered in these flaws that affected my personality and my mood for the day.

When you met me, I wasn’t as happy as I could’ve been.

But when you tell me that I’m beautiful now, that I make your life better, and that you love me.

I realize that I was the greatest and I was perfect to you.

—  @loveactivist // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #8

I loved him,

He took all the stars from my sky,
but I loved him even more,
he made home feel like hell,
I still loved him,
he never wondered what’s wrong with me
and why I’m sad,
but it was okay, I got used to it,
I loved him,
his words made me feel loved
and his actions could make my heart cry,
but with him I could touch the universe,
he made me feel so alive,
until he made me want to die,
being with him was delightful at first,
then it got agonizing.

I loved him, but I don’t anymore.