i'll go by myself if i have to!

HEY THERE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE 🌼
Months ago, I said I was going to close my blog because I had so many things to deal with, things related to college… I couldn’t focus on my exams, works and stuff. Right now, I’m almost done with my finals and then we have this break. I really needed time for myself, to fix my personal life and my college issues.
So… About ayoshidae, I honestly considered coming back many times but I knew it wasn’t the right time yet. I’ve missed it and I’ve missed my friends, I’ve missed interacting with people here, I’ve missed supporting my favorite groups and having fun with people here. Plus, snsd is about to celebrate their 10th anniversary and I couldn’t miss it.
Finally, I’m reopening my blog. Sometimes we just need a break yk… but I’m glad I’m back! Thank you for the ones who supported me when I closed it and for the ones who are supporting me right now.
Maybe I won’t be as actived as I was before but… who knows, I’m willing to try again! The most important thing is that right now I can manage my life with tumblr and I’m ready to be back and be happy with my friends I’ve met here!
And also, thank you for the ones who still followed me and for 3k followers! I’m tagging some of my friends and my previous and adorable mutuals so they can know I’m back!
@choisullis @taesyeon @ohhsenshine @sonuyhshidae @svnnyjjang @nanssagajii @ye-rims @ninthwish @kwonyuri @minchims @maerinah @citrusomi @chanwoosdimple @parksoijn @raindyops @haengah @taeyeohn @sefuns @taeyeoness @yunascope @ireone @red-shidae @taeyeontime @taeyepn @gingerfany @candyeon @younas @ninepeas @taenine @quinnsana @kim-taeyeon @tiffaeny @irendescent @yoonsicyul @felicitae @queenhyo @kimtae-yeons @okimtae

I’m downright terrified for the future of the manga….

@ followers/mutuals; I’m not a Stan™ but also not an Anti or smth so you’ll find both pro Cull/en and Cul/en critical stuff on my blog and I know that many don’t like him for many totally legit reasons so I’m figuring out a new tagging/blacklisting system for my blog so that y'all don’t have to see him on my dash if you don’t want to k

anonymous asked:

Oooooo Saeran are you a really good cook? :000

Saeran: Obviously. This moron can’t cook to save his life and we clearly cannot live on takeout and Honey Buddha chips forever.

Saeyoung: Saeran doesn’t let me go near the kitchen because apparently I myself am a fire hazard.

Saeran: You’d burn the house down just by touching the stove. I don’t trust you.

Saeyoung: And that’s why my amazing lil bro makes all our meals!! He’s so talented //sniffs and wipes away tears

anyone else kinda terrified you’ll never be able to hold a job in the future because of your mental illness

30 day otp challenge | day 2: on a date

Honestly?? For once I’d like to see a Jewish character who doesn’t just have a throw-away line about eight nights of presents for Hanukkah… please give me Jewish characters who invite their friends over for Passover Seders, who fast for Yom Kippur, who bake Challah every Friday morning, who build Sukkahs and eat Hamentashen… give me practicing Jews. Characters with Jewish backgrounds are fantastic, but we so rarely get to see our traditions represented.

6

mist and shadow
cloud and shade
all shall fade

all shall fade

“what is love? how did you know you were in love with him?”

“i guess i knew i was in love with him when his bad days became my bad days. when his good days became my good days. i don’t know, i never met anyone like him before. i guess i knew i was in love when i wish it would storm so i could see him become excited about something he loved. so i could see him smile. i guess i knew i was in love with him when the thought of him leaving scared the hell out of me. i guess i knew i was in love with him when i would roll over to the other side of the bed and reach for a hand that wasn’t there anymore. i guess i knew i was in love with him when losing him felt like losing a friend, best friend and boyfriend all in one. i guess i knew i was in love with him when i use to dread the morning but somehow wanted to wake up to it everyday. i guess i knew i was in love with him when my days suddenly became more quiet. i guess i knew i was in love with him when the thought of him never left my mind even though it’s been a year. i guess i knew i was in love with him when i wasn’t the best version of myself the way i was with him. he made me feel like i knew what love was. he made me feel like i was worthy of a type of love they talk about in movies and fairytales. the closest thing we have to magic is love and with him.. magic was our love. magic was us. magic was him. it’s always going to be him.”

—  I think that’s love // Deeply Feeling Series 
  • what she says: I'm okay
  • what she means: Can I say my shit? Can I say my shit? I've got lots of shit to say. I've got lots of shit to say. I can't fit my hand inside a Pringle can, I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of a Pringle can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but then a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can so they all go spilling onto my face. What I'm trying to say is the diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. I'll say it again. The diameter of Pringle cans is way too small. Two radiuses of a Pringle can is way too small. If you feel me, put your hands up, Come on! If you feel me, put your hands up! Look at all these hands that are way too big to fit inside of a Pringle can! Your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can, your hands are too big to fit inside a Pringle can. You think you can, I know you can't, you think you can. Pringles! Listen to the people, I am sure ninety percent of the complaint letters you get are about the width of your cans?! Just... make them wider?! I've overdone the Pringles thing, sorry. I want to have a daughter. I want to have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house who can fit their hands in the Pringle can. Yes, I'm still on the Pringle cans thing! Yeah! I'll move on, alright? But that is priority número uno. I don't go to the gym because I'm self-conscious about my body but I'm self-conscious about my body cause I don't go to the gym. Irony can be so painful. That's a Catch-22. Let's do this! I went to Chipotle, I went to Chipotle, got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line and I got all these ingredients and at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but half of the shit inside the burrito spilled out. He still wrapped it. I was like, dude you should have warned me! You're a burrito expert, you should have told me halfway through: "Hey, man. You might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here" Do you fucking think I want a messy burrito? No one wants a messy burrito! The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn't have gotten half of the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito! Alright? Look I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew it wouldn't fit! I wouldn't have got half of it! Like, I'm okay with small mistakes, if you've got no more chicken I'll take pork. But I'll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit. Man, I wouldn't have got half of it, like half of it, like, half of it, like, half of it, like half of it right now,I think it's time I think it's time, I think that we break this down. I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are pringle cans, and burritos. The truth is, my biggest problem's you. I want to please you but I want to stay true to myself. I want to give you the night out that you deserve but I want to say what I think and not care what you think about it. Part of me loves you, part of me hates you, part of me needs you, part of me fears you. And I don't think that I can handle this right now, handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now. I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. Look at them, they're just staring at me like, "come and watch the skinny kid with a steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself." I don't think that I can handle this right now, I don't think that I can handle this right now. They don't even know the half of this right now, they don't even know the half of it. But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show so I should probably just shut up and do my job so here I go. I wouldn't have got the lettuce if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the cheese if I knew it wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got the peppers if I knew they wouldn't fit, I wouldn't have got half. You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme and if they still don't understand you then you run it one more time. I don't think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) I don't think that I can handle this right now (Hoo!) If you think that I can handle this right now (Haa!) Right now (Haa!) Now, handle this right, handle this right, handle this right now.Thank you, good night! I hope you're happy.

anonymous asked:

I'm so sorry but I'm unsubscribing. Your channel's quality is degrading steadily the past couple of months. I used to watch your videos to calm myself but now I can't even watch 3 minutes without getting annoyed of you. I don't know what happened, but if this is permanent, I'm sorry but I can't stay. I wish you the best of luck. Hopefully, I'll be able to find joy in your content again. Let's high five one last time ✋ So long, irish bean.

Hey there! That’s alright. You don’t have to like something forever and I would never expect you to. We all come and go about our lives all the time and if something isn’t for you anymore then you do you and I’ll do me.  Thanks for at least being there at all to begin with and yeah hopefully you can come back and enjoy the channel again eventually :)

Oh and *WHA-PISH*!

i am no longer the girl i was when i loved you. i have reinvented myself. i no longer like coconut chapstick or gold eyeshadow. i no longer like horror movies or your stupid posters in your room. i no longer stay up until 5am just waiting for your name to pop up on the screen. i no longer cry everyday. i no longer barely make it through the day. i like sunshine and pale eyeshadow and coffee and art and thunderstorms and i am now everything you will never get the chance to know. i am better. i have found sunshine rooted in my very own veins. i am new, and i hope you envy the newfound warmth that i have found in myself.

4

May 2017 // It’s finally autumn over here and I can’t be more excited! I’ve been trying really hard to put myself together (my mind hasn’t realized I’m back at Uni…) and I think dry leaves and hot tea are going to do the trick for me. I hope you guys are having a beautiful May ~

I miss being missed by you.
— 

I let you go, because I wanted to do right by you. And now you have moved on, and I am happy for you. But I catch myself wishing you still missed me, wishing that you still wanted me.

I know that isn’t fair, that you deserved better and that means that you needed to move on. But I miss being missed by you.

How them 2000s live actions kids shows be
  • Normal Girl: *internally* I'm just a normal high school girl. I suck at math. I hate my parents. When someone asks me about my opinion on complex socioeconomic issues, I just go "What the heck!?" and start "texting" or something like that. My life would be just like yours, except for one thing: I have an amazing power... I can talk to cetaceans!
  • *at the docks, a bell tolls as our normal protagonist hears the voices of cetaceans bubbling in her mind*
  • Normal Girl: *staring deeply into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: Ahoy! What're you doing?
  • Normal Girl: Just staring into the oceanic abyss, thinking about how much I hate my parents. *internally* I have to keep my ability to speak to cetaceans secret or else... uh...
  • Best Friend: Haha, I feel that, friend. What a colorful life we teens live, our seaside environment awakening a rumbling darkness within ourselves of which we mull on our own with nothing but the unbounding depths of the ocean as our one escape. An escape which serves to only maim our fragile egos with newfound adolescent anxieties.
  • Normal Girl: What are you even talking about?
  • Best Friend: I don't know. I haven't slept in a week. Let's go to the mall.
  • *at the mall*
  • Normal Girl: *internally* My town might as well be called Lamesville. Nothing ever happens here, but the mall can be pretty fun. It's only place in the whole town with anything in it that isn't fish or excessive amounts of woodlice.
  • Best Friend: ...So I'd just dance and I'd dance until my feet broke. When that happened, I'd just get up and dance on my broken feet. And I did this until they were raw and blood was everywhere. I kept waking up in the morning extremely exhausted after this dream. I decided to record myself one night and it turns out I was dancing in my sleep. I haven't slept since I saw that. *leans in close to the normal girl* I'm afraid of what I'll do in my sleep.
  • Normal Girl: Wow, sounds weird... I guess. *sips coffee*
  • Best Friend: OMIGAWD! It's Chad Alphakid. He's coming this way!
  • *the normal girl and her best friend squee*
  • Normal Girl: *externally* That's Chad Alphakid. Who is he? He's only the hottest most coolest boy in this entire lame city. I've been crushing on him since I was like twelve.
  • Chad: Uh, okay.
  • Normal Girl: Did I just say that out loud!?
  • Chad: *sits at the table* Listen, I don't care what you or your friend think of me. I need help!
  • Best Friend: Have you murdered somebody?
  • Normal Girl: Do you need a girlfriend?
  • Chad: No, it's the ocean. The sound of her waves crashing against the shore is like a faultless siren song. There isn't a single night where I don't have visions of floating within her cold embrace. The allure of her boundless depths beckon to me like a lover. I'm afraid that if I don't get help soon, I'll find myself taken away by her to a fate unknown.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Great, this is a chance to finally use my power to speak to cetaceans to my benefit! *externally* But why do you need us to help you?
  • Chad: You guys are the biggest fucking degenerate weirdos in this washed up town. If anyone knows how to deal with this, it's you two.
  • Best Friend: Haha, truuuuuu!
  • Normal Girl: I'm not a weirdo! I'm a completely normal girl.
  • Chad: Dude, you fucking talk to fish.
  • Best Friend: You do talk to fish.
  • Normal Girl: I don't talk to fish! *internally* I talk to cetaceans, they're mammals, not fish. Also, that's supposed to be a secret, dammit!
  • *at the shore*
  • Chad: Ah, Mother Ocean! Take me!! Take me!!! *attempts to run into the ocean, but gets held back by the normal girl and her best friend*
  • Best Friend: Simmer down, aqualad!
  • Chad: Why did you fools take me here, if not to release into the embrace of sweet Mother Ocean!?
  • Normal Girl: We talked it over and we decided that the best way to get you over your obsession is make you hate the ocean.
  • Chad: Does it involve you talking to fish?
  • Normal Girl: Yes, I mean no. I mean, fuck! Cetaceans aren't fish.
  • *the normal girl sits at the edge of shore, her eyes rolls up in her head as she proceeds to make fucked up porpoise sounds*
  • Normal Girl: *falls over limp*
  • Best Fried: She died.
  • Chad: Does this mean that I'm free to wade into Mother Ocean and meet my fate among her ever chaotic waes?
  • Best Friend: *lets chad go* Yeah, dude. I'm too far gone to care about things anymore.
  • Chad: *strips off all of his clothes* Good. I now understand that there was no avoiding this. This was always a forgone conclusion. My fate is with the waves. Sayonara, weird best friend guy.
  • Chad: *runs into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: *kicks the normal girl's body* Guess she really is dead.
  • Best Friend: *walks home as the night encroaches* My closest friend is dead, and Chad is probably dead too. I wonder where my fate lies?
  • Best Friend: *yawns* Maybe I should go to sleep and just dance myself to death finally. No, I don't think I could go to sleep even if I wanted to anymore. I'm probably going to die from exhaustion in the next few days, not having felt rest or comfort again. Or maybe I'll just stay awake forever. I feel like I was supposed to have an epiphany here, or some type of awakening. But, there's nothing. I feel like everything I've ever done has been pointless. God, I'm just really tired.
  • *back at the shore*
  • Porpoise: *beaches itself*
  • *a gray fleshy version of the normal girl crawls halfway out of the porpoises mouth*
  • Normal Girl: There goes my corpse! *drags her weird porpoise body towards the corpse* Why did I die with such a dumb expression on my face? Lame! I hope Chad didn't see.
  • Normal Girl: *looks around with beady eyes* No one's here. I can finally do this.
  • Normal Girl: *kisses her dead body on the lips* Blargh!
  • Normal Girl: *spits out blood* I bit my tongue when I died. Gross. I guess I can cross making out with my dead body and becoming a mermaid off of my bucket list, though.
  • Normal Girl: *sighs*
  • Me: having a structured life is exhausting!
  • Therapist: I understand. Let's say just get up in the morning, get some breakfast, go for a walk...and that's it for a start.
  • Me: *internally: sounds reasonable, but that means first fighting against my will to just stay in bed and act as if I'm not existing. Getting up either way and facing my face and body in the mirror. There's an 80% chance that it's one of those days and I hate myself just so fucking much I could scream. But there's also a chance I look in the mirror and find a person that does not seem to be familiar to me looking back at me. Still, now you want me to shower and wash this body I find really disgusting. I have to see every single scar I have and maybe feel the burn of fresh cuts. Then I have to put on cloth, brush my teeth and my hair and do my makeup, as I can't go outside without hiding my ugly face under layers of primers and foundations and powders and highlighters and fake lashes and a perfect contour and a big nude fake smile. I spend money I don't have to make myself look good enough for myself to endure my own appearance. I remember to take my meds. Now I'm dressed (in clothes that hopefully say 'i don't care' when really I care a lot) and can go to the kitchen to prepare food that I know I won't be able to eat in 50% of the cases. There's also a good chance that I eat it and then find myself throwing up and ruining my makeup feeling every single disgusting cell of fat on my body vibrate while trying to breathe. Well either way let's say I might redo my make-up, brush my teeth again and step outside. I maybe take my horse with me and walk through the neighbourhood. I have to see people. I feel anxious. I would love to just turn around and go back home. But I keep on walking, trying to seem selfconfident so my horse and neighbours can't see or feel my insecurity. I'll try to be friendly and act normal even though I'm sure they hate me and laugh about me. Still if the communication between my horse and me isn't perfect today I'll probably cry and if a neighbour just looks at me in a way that i interpret to be unfriendly or cold or annoyed I'll probably cry too. Let's say I'm back home. Now it's like 11 in the morning. What do I do? By now I'm an emotional wreck, tired as hell, probably planing on how to harm myself with one half of my brain while the other half bundles it's last energy to prevent exactly this from happening. How do I survive the rest?*
  • Me: I'll try.
3

I’m sick.

Hitched (8/11)

a Captain Swan AU fan fiction

Summary:  After a series of events leave her life in pieces, Emma Swan finds herself hitchhiking out of Maine, her wallet empty and her heart broken. The best she hopes for is a driver who isn’t a pervert and takes her far away from the painful memories of Storeybrooke. But when she finds a ride with a quiet truck driver named Jones, Emma discovers that maybe a trustworthy friend is all she needs.

Rating: M or MA; some profanity and sex scenes.

Cover art: created by the absolutely fabulous @thesschesthair!!

Links: ff.net // ao3 // ch. 1 //  ch. 2 // ch. 3 // ch. 4 // ch. 5 // ch. 6 // ch. 7 // ch. 9 // ch. 10 // epilogue

(also @teamhook, @like-waves-on-the-beach, @lenfaz, @followbatb, @stardusted-nymph, @optomisticgirl, @xpumpkindumplingx​, and @spartanguard, thank you thank you thank you for reading and requesting tags!)

Note: This chapter was originally split up into two parts, and I was only going to post the first. But then I watched tonight’s episode of this @$%#ing show and i have such a major case of viewer’s blue balls that I figured it would be mean to do the same to my lovely readers. Please enjoy this monster chapter. Bless.

previous


CHAPTER EIGHT

Don’t freeze out there, huh? Good advice, but hard to follow, Emma thought sourly, as they left the warm, comfortingly grease-scented air of the bar behind. It had already been cold outside when they arrived, but the temperature seemed to have dropped even further while they were inside, and a light snow was falling. She pulled her coat’s hood up with one hand, then returned it to Jones’ arm, keeping a firm grip with all ten fingers.

He wasn’t staggering anymore, although as they walked slowly across the parking lot, threading through cars and trucks, his steps were slightly uneven. Not that she was perfectly steady, herself; Emma could still feel the beer pounding through her veins, making her a little dizzy. Their breath formed clouds in the freezing air, and Emma longed to call a cab, even just for a fifteen-minute walk.

Keep reading

As of lately, we’ve been losing FNAF fans who have officially either become interested, or have transferred over to a newer game interest. For some loyal fans, such as myself, it is heartbreaking to see another one go. However, if you can, please always let your followers know if you intend on staying in this fandom for a while! I sure am, for years and years to come. :)

Or you could feel free to reblog this post as well if you plan on staying for a long while!