i'll do whatever you want me to do with you

anonymous asked:

Martha Wayne and the robins though

i have Strongly Considered doing a version of the time travel fic where Martha and Thomas come to the future instead of the reverse, and while Martha is fun Thomas is A GODDAMN NIGHTMARE by which i mean completely fucking hilarious to anyone who is not his mortified son

“No, no, this can’t be your girlfriend, I thought that was your girlfriend. What did I teach you about picking on people your own size? Look, I’m sure she’s very nice but I want grandkids and if you get her pregnant she’ll be more baby than woman. She’ll die. I’m a doctor. Neither of them are your girlfriend? So is this your boyfriend? I’m not mad, I know I just said I want grandkids but this is the future, right? You can have some test tube babies. Science is amazing. Or you can adopt, I don’t mind adoption. You already adopted? What do you mean, ‘technically’, do I have grandkids or not, help me out here, I went through all the trouble of traveling to the cyberpunk future and so far I’m underwhelmed. Hand me a small child so I can feed him candy and teach him old-timey cusses.”

2

a soft and beautiful man and the sharp asshole that lives in his house

Headcanon: Tim and Steph are always “in-between” dating and not dating. No one is sure if they’re together. Not even they’re sure.
“Are we dating?”
“Are we?”
“I thought we were.”
“That’s what I thought but that was before the March incident.”
“What happened in March?”
“I was mad at you for some reason. Hmm, what was it?”
“Wait, so does this mean that I was your accidental boyfriend for the 4th?”
“It wasn’t about business or, heaven forbid, Bruce…”
“I mean, not that I mind but I like to know when I’m dating you because it helps to have a consistent plus one at events.”
“And it wasn’t about your constant obsession with your job. Anal retentive much?”
“Wow, okay, rude. We’re definitely not dating now. And if we’re on flaws, you do not share well. At all.”
“That’s right! You ate my mac n cheese. That’s why I was mad!”
“Yeah, but did we break up?”
“…I don’t think so?? I can’t remember.”
“So are we dating?”
“Are we?”

9

As per request (thanks, singingrabbitskull!), I did a half-tutorial, half-sporadic notes on how I generally render basic expressions.

There’s already a lot of cool tutorials that exist on how to do expressions, so I tried to just look at a lot of really minor details that I’ve used but haven’t seen commonly passed down.

required disclaimer: this is just how I go about it, feel free to ignore bits, steal bits, do whatever you want with them. Hope this helps, and if you have any questions scream at my inbox!

2

hbo war typo // babe heffron appreciation month

Fake Chats #110
  • Seokjin: I wish I was on a date with my girlfriend right now.
  • Namjoon: you don't have a girlfriend.
  • Seokjin: I wish I had a girlfriend.
  • Namjoon: you don't have time for a girlfriend.
  • Seokjin: I wish I had time for a girlfriend.
  • Namjoon: and that would leave us hanging without our visual and pretty vocal.
  • Seokjin: I...don't wish I wasn't pretty, but I still wish I was on a date with a girlfriend that I don't have time for.
  • Namjoon: we can go out to eat, if you want. I'll pay.
  • Seokjin: are you asking me on a date?
  • Namjoon: I'm just trying to make you happy.
  • Seokjin: by taking me on a date.
  • Namjoon: it's not a date. It's a "we both don't have girlfriends but at least we have each other" outing.
  • Seokjin: it's a date.
  • Namjoon: I don't want to take you on a date!
  • Seokjin: you don't?
  • Namjoon: *how does Jimin do it, raising this hyung?* fine, whatever, call it a date if you want to, do you wanna go out to eat or what?
  • Seokjin: forget it. Just buy me flowers instead.
  • Namjoon: I'm not your imaginary girlfriend!
Smutty Starter Sentences pt. 2
  • I want you to count out every strike while I spank you
  • Go on, lick my cum off the floor
  • Don't talk, just spread your fucking legs
  • You're such a pretty little slut for me, aren't you? So desperate.
  • I'll have to gag you if you don't keep it down.... or do you want them to hear?
  • Do you like touching the bruises I leave on your skin?
  • Come sit on my lap like a good pet.
  • Don't ask questions, just bend over the table and hold on.
  • I want to hear you call me Daddy/Mommy
  • My cum's dripping out, let me push it back in you.
  • Lift up your skirt and show me that tight ass of yours.
  • Crawl under the table and put your mouth to use, that's your dessert tonight.
  • I think we should make a tape so I can show everyone what a good whore you are.
  • Answer the phone, I'll keep fucking you.
  • Your naught pussy's so wet already, maybe I should spank it.
  • Did you wear the plug to keep yourself loose for me?
  • Get on your hands and knees and crawl to me.
  • What a greedy little hole you have, it's sucking my fingers right in.
  • I'm going to tie you up so you can't move and you won't be able to stop me from doing whatever I want.
  • You're always prettiest with my cum dripping off you.
  • I don't care if people are around, open up your shirt and let me see your tits
  • I'm your Master/Mistress and you're going to do whatever I say if you know what's good for you.
  • Be a good pet tonight and you can sleep in my bed instead of on the floor.
  • Stick out your ass more, everyone knows it's your most attractive feature.
  • Make yourself useful and play with Daddy's cock/Mommy's pussy
  • What's wrong, are your little nipples sore? Too bad, I'm going to keep playing with them.
  • Nothing to say? What's wrong, did I finally fuck your brains out?
Agents of SHIELD characters as John Mulaney quotes
  • Simmons: You know how I'm filled with rage? I'm so horny and angry all the time, and I have no outlet for it, so [gestures to science experiment] eggs.
  • Fitz: I am very small and I have no money, so you can imagine the kind of stress I am under
  • Daisy: If it's a true or false question, you should be able to add a third option, which is [softly and tiredly] "who's to say?"
  • Coulson: I hear you honking, and I also don't want me to be doing what I'm doing
  • May: I'll just keep all my emotions right here and then one day I'll die
  • Bobbi: SCATTER!!!!
  • Hunter: This is an on fire garbage can
  • Mack: Part of me was like, whatever, you know, this might as well happen. Adult life is already so goddamn weird
  • Trip: Hey, can I walk you home? Hey, can I walk you home? Hey, can I walk you home?
  • Ward: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair
  • Lincoln: Cars were pulling up and looking over to see who just did that piece of shit move, expecting to see a 100-year-old blind dog who’s texting while driving and drinking a smoothie, instead they see a 28-year-old healthy man trying his best
  • Radcliffe: I don't like robots thinking of things
  • AIDA: [MOOING ANGRILY]