how to feign indifference:
1. start smiling a lot, never let it slip your lips because someone might catch you at your worst and we all know what happened the last that happened. one crack and you’re gone. but smiles know how to cover cracks and faults, so no matter what happens, you cannot lose the one thing that has the ability to save you.
2. do not try to hurt them, or anyone else. to hurt means to care, to care means to be disappointed and to be disappointed means to be hurt.
3. put all your grudges aside when you see them, it’s like stepping into a taxi and realizing you’ll have to try to hold your breath for the next 15 minutes because it smells like stale chemicals and dead fish and breathing from your mouth feels disgusting. so suck all your grudges in, it’s only for a while anyways.
4. do not talk about it, the more you talk about it, the more you think about it. the more you think about, the more you want to talk about it. talking is comforting yes, but we do not need sadistic temporary comfort. the key to put up a good lethargic front is that you keep your true feelings hidden from everyone.
5. do not look for them in front of them, do not look for them in front of anyone who knows them, do not look for them in front of anyone related to them, do not look for them at all.
6. do not do anything related to them, do not listen to songs about them, do not write about them, do not read about them, do not think about them, do not do anything related to them.
7. follow all the do not’s even if they’re a lot and even if they hurt because this how you feign indifference and i hope to god, you master it because i almost did and by writing this, i just lost it.