i'll delete this later guys

Had the sweetest ana on our team one game who followed me around and healed all my booboos and I want a voice line that lets me say “thanks grandma” with a kiss emote because I love her

Also why tf do McCree mains not say hi back

“I’ll always look after you”

Why would you promise me so much when I’ve only ever been honest about what I felt and could offer to you? I know you are loyal and keep your word too. You know that it isn’t as much. I cannot return some of the feelings you have for me. I’ve told you it doesn’t seem fair to you, it doesn’t seem right. Why is it, that for you- even just having me be there to you somehow is worth so much? Why is it that even after being apart for so many years you still constantly check in on me and worry? 5 years later and I’m still as confused. 


Drawing break

Okay so uhhh… I don’t know if anyone saw my tag in my last post, but I had server stomach pains that were so bad I was crying (and I never cry from pain) so I ended up going to the hospital. I only just got home. I’m not going into details, but I’ll be hurting for awhile, so I’m going to put a pause on drawing. I’ll try to draw a little at a time, I really want to finish the one I was going to finish last night. I’ll post when I can.

you really don’t have to shoulder your problems alone. someone will understand– and even if you can’t find someone who does, someone will support you and hold you up without asking questions.

I had a friend ask me the other day why I like Kylo so much and it kind of threw me off guard cause we don’t really talk much.

Anyways, so the reason I like Kylo so much aside from that body, that hair, that voice, and the fact that Adam Driver who is a sex god on this earth plays him, is because I can relate a lot to Kylo.

So I, just like Kylo, was always the black sheep of the family. I was always different; I was always a nerd in class and a book nerd, I listened to alternative music, I wore a lot of black, and was bullied A LOT because I was different, and suffered from depression and anxiety so on and so forth.

And just like Kylo, my parents didn’t know why I was the way I was and why I wasn’t “normal.” I’m still exactly how I was when I was a kid and so I’m still not “normal.” That was just the way I was and continue to be, and no matter how much I tried to change or how much they tried to change me, it just didn’t work.

Just like Kylo, I felt like a disappointment and very sad because I couldn’t connect very well with my parents and I felt cheated because I didn’t get to experience the kind of relationship my friends had with their parents. I was always envious of friends and family who would talk about how close they were to their parents and how they also considered them friends and that they could tell them anything.

My brothers aren’t like me and so my parents always treated them differently. They always bought them more stuff and I would have to ask one of my brothers to ask my parents if I could get a new pair of shoes because mine were worn out, etc.

Just like Kylo, I was misunderstood and my parents didn’t really notice that I was suffering from mental illnesses, and if they did, they didn’t know what to do about it, and didn’t understand why I was always so emotional. They would just tell me to get over stuff as if it was so simple. I’ve been in therapy for a few years now and on medication, but my parents look down on me because of it and don’t understand.

They were always caught up in their jobs and so they didn’t really have the time or the energy to understand me, just like how Han and Leia were with Kylo. I never told my parents I was bullied because I didn’t want to bother them and so I kept a lot of things to myself and I still do.

Don’t get me wrong, my parents have always loved me and have always wanted the best for me, but we just didn’t see eye to eye when I was a kid and we still don’t see eye to eye sometimes.

Just like Kylo, my parents and I didn’t really know how to communicate with each other and our relationship was very strained. It has gotten better but there is still some strain, especially with my mother.

Just like Kylo’s relationship with Han, I didn’t turn out the way she wanted me to be and since her mother died before she was 10, and her stepmother was a huge bitch, she doesn’t really know how to have a relationship between a mother and a daughter and so there is still some strain between us, but we are both trying to form a relationship with eachother.

Just like Kylo, I’ll have sudden fits of rage because I feel like I’m being taken advantage of and people are preying on my weaknesses, and I’ll lock myself in my room and throw things at the walls, and on the floor because I lose control and I’m never EVER satisfied until something I’ve thrown breaks. I’ll punch walls because the pain and the numbness in my fists will release some of my anger and will slowly snap me out of it. I’ll get in my car and drive anywhere just to get away from everything and I’ll park somewhere and hold my head and scream. It’s been a very very looooooooooooong time since I’ve had a fit like this, even when I’ve been taken advantage of or being preyed on my weaknesses. I have never put my hands on anyone when I get like this and I’ve never had the urge to do so.

I also used to pull my hair and punch myself in the head and cut myself but I don’t do those anymore.

Just like Kylo, I have been mentally abused and didn’t know how to stop it. It’s so soooo fucking difficult to get out of it. My ex emotionally, verbally, physically and psychologically abused me and it was horrible. My youngest brother had cancer at the time, I was failing school, I was struggling with anxiety, depression, ADHD, and PTSD, my relationship with my ex was shit and we lived together at the time and it got worse. It was so bad that I was sent to a mental hospital by my therapist for 3 days because I wanted to run away. I didnt know where I wanted to run away to, or what I would do so she sent me to the hospital just in case I planned to commit suicide. This was a couple of years ago and to this day, my parents still don’t know and I am never going to tell them.

I would talk about why I love Reylo, but maybe that will be for another time when I’m not so sleep deprived and hopefully not seen as some crazy person because of all this baggage.

I know this is a random ass post, and I know I don’t really post personal stuff, but finals are next week and I’m failing a class and it is going to delay my graduation date, and I’ve been up since 4 in the morning and I was about to take a nap before I go to my next class, until I remembered what my friend and I were talking about.

I have made a lot of progress with the help of therapy, my psychiatrist and my friends, and family, and Reylo, and the positivity from you guys, but I’m not feeling very good mentally and emotionally lately and I guess I just wanted to let this out? I’m trying to be positive, but idk dudes. Hope this doesn’t change your opinions of me and if it does, I totally understand.

But yes, as you can hopefully maybe see I can relate to Kylo a lot, at least in my perspective I do, and I hope I’m not being delusional.

(p.s. my writing might be scrambled so I apologize for that)

Min rants

Hey guyss //laughs// The blog’s been quiet for a while now and, as always I apologize, but also I want to update y’all about my life status for the rest of the year–

Min is swamped with final year at college right now- assignments and final year projects and tryna find a possible training place for at the end of the year; it’s all just a messed piled on rubble- It’s highly likely that min won’t be able to post anything for a couple months starting last month since teachers are hounding us for work

Also, min will start internship on 27 Nov this year until 27 April next year (I’m gonna miss the third anniversary TTTTT) so I have to leave you guys early and there’s no guarantee I’ll be able to go online as my course is really physically taxing i just hope i don’t get kitchen duty man i hate kitchen duty--

I’ll try to be around as much as I can during my internship but I can’t promise you anything at the moment ;; v ;; I hope you understand! Aaaand be nice to admin cali while I’m away! Bye bye! Have a nice weekend!

Keep reading

gUYS hey :-) just wanted to say I’m sorry I haven’t updated anything in a while, I’ve had writers block so I’ve been procrastinating even trying to write the next part of purple jewels but I’m starting to slowly get back the inspiration for it. It’ll get done no matter what, even if it takes a while for me to do so I hope you guys can wait a little longer (also I’ll get to my asks probably tomorrow sometime)

i’ve been crying for the past 20 minutes cause i’ve had a migraine for literally a month and i’m????? so frustrated and tired???? i’ve missed a bunch of school the last two weeks and i’ve gone to so many doctor’s appointments but nothing’s helped and i just want to be able to live my life but i guess that’s not happening

she’s too gorgeous for this world

(pssst my art so please don’t reupload/edit~)