i'll come home

I didn’t forget you, I don’t think I could ever forget you!” she insisted.

“Then why is everything so different now?” he burst out, doubting her words.

Misty-eyed, she replied sincerely, “I think I found myself.

—  Excerpt from a book I’ll never write, 57
“You were my crutch, but now I have wings”

By 8:30 in the evening, almost everyone is gone from the office. There’s still a light or two on, coming from some of the cubicles down the hall, but Erwin pays no mind.

He rolls his neck and hisses. It’s stiff from looking down at paperwork for the last few hours, reading fine print and even smaller numbers, but the bruises blossoming past the collar of his shirt certainly do nothing to help.

No one had brought them up, if they had seen, but most of the office tended to shy away from confrontation with Erwin in any sense. He fretted about that at times. He had a stern look about him that worked wonders in a business meeting and made him almost nervous in every other sense.

He takes a deep breath to focus himself and wonders if he should have put on his reading glasses hours ago. He fumbles with the case, wire rims aging him, but the start of crows feet from squinting in the yellowed light from his office lamp weren’t doing many favors themselves. 

The knock on his open door startles him, lost in a string of numbers, relaxing only when he looks up. “You’re early.”

“You’re here late.”

Levi receives a soft smile in return.

“Don’t give me that shit, Erwin.” Levi pushes in a cart of cleaning supplies into his office like most nights, hand gripping the handle tight. “I thought I told you to leave on time today.”

Erwin listens. Usually. That was how they played this game. Levi let Erwin relax, let Erwin follow and simply stop thinking when it came to be too much.

“I didn’t,” Erwin pauses. Think about what you’re going to say before you ask something of me, Levi had said. “I’m sorry.”

Levi snorts. “But not enough to leave before I got here.”

Erwin shakes his head. 

“Put your pen down.”

There are three more eleven-page documents to notate before the night is over, but Erwin sets down his pen and rests his forearms against his cluttered desk.

“How’s your neck?” Before Erwin has a chance to answer himself, Levi moves towards Erwin, coming behind his desk instead of reaching across it to swipe a thumb against Erwin’s skin. “They hurt?”

“Nothing bad, Levi.” Erwin had honestly forgotten about them for most of the day, smiling to himself when he looked at his neck in the bathroom mirror once or twice.

Levi pulls his hand away from Erwin’s neck and adjusts Erwin’s glasses, pushing them up the bridge of his nose where they had already begun to slip. Erwin doesn’t mean to lean into him, but it’s a gentle sort of action that makes his heart ache.

“How’s your ass?”

The moment is over and Erwin barks a laugh. “Sore. I’m not sure what else you would expect.”

Levi shrugs–keeps his hand near Erwin’s temple. “I’ll be done around midnight.” There’s an implied if you don’t mind waiting that Erwin hears. They spend most nights in Levi’s cramped apartment, with a shower almost too small for Erwin to comfortably use. 

“I think I can amuse myself until then.”

“I’d tell you to stop working, but you won’t listen anyway.” He drops his hand and turns back towards his cleaning cart. He has the bathrooms to start with, and when the vacuum hiccups on, Erwin knows he has about 20 minutes until they leave. An easy enough routine. “You should tell some of the younger kids to head home. It’s too fucking late to be here.”

Erwin nods. “Easy enough.”

Levi hesitates by the doorway, does so almost every night, as though he wants to watch Erwin for the rest of the evening.

“I’ll be alright, Levi.”

“I’ll be back in an hour to check on you.”

Somewhat ridiculous, but Erwin will take it. It keeps his mind off of almost everything else that had happened earlier in the day. “I promise you, I’ll be fine. A few hours more won’t hurt.”

Levi gives a quick nod and then, “unbutton your collar.”

The light isn’t bright enough to show the extent of Erwin’s blush, but he reaches up to undo the top two buttons of his shirt, giving a small smile when he’s finished. “Better?”

Levi nods again. “I’ll be back in an hour, Erwin.”

Coming home to you.

I love tumblr mobile, the way it just *clenches fist* never loads anything, accidentally makes you follow and unfollow a blog eleven times, takes you out of a tag when you accidentally tapped on the left and doesn’t let you go back, takes you to the top instead of where you left off without a warning, and, of course, crashes on you completely :)

You collect “I miss you” messages from people like trophies. This is why I’ll never send you one. But all the I miss yous trapped in me are bursting at the seams. So I write ‘I miss you’ on walls, type it on paper, say it to people I don’t care about and the words always come back to me knowing they belong only to you. The words angrily come back and wrap itself around my throat and my heart and it suffocates me.
— 

What I’ll never say to you.

I miss you.
You win again. You always win.

‪i wanna feel empty; not the empty feeling in the pit of my stomach when i saw you kissing her nor the emptiness in my soul when you told me you loved someone else, but rather, the kind of empty feeling when you just woke up and your emotions haven’t kicked in yet and everything’s silent, even in your head, and you smile at the sun shining through your dark curtains. that’s such a nice empty.‬
—  (Wren Serrano), somewhere only we know

raphael openly following simon on twitter just to post cryptic things about betrayal and heart simon’s tweets even tho it’s nothing but boring shit like a picture of a cat he passed in an alley or bits of original lyrics

INBOX CALL POST. THING.

basically just like this so I can have permission to
assault ur inbox whenever I have an idea or smth!!
I tend 2 spam so I get anxious so!!! yeah like this
post if you don’t mind me barging in!!