i'll be myself again one day

I wish I didn’t want to see you again and it sucks because you’re nothing special and I know that. But I guess for some reason I want to believe that I didn’t waste my time with you and that maybe the door isn’t completely closed. And I still want you to see me in town one day from across the street and fall in love again. But I know that’s not real and I hate myself for wishing it could be.

and one day i will look back on all of this and smile, because my burns will have soothed and the cuts will be nothing but silvery scars. i will have stopped the sadness from spreading to my fingertips, and all that was colorless will be bright again. i will have bathed myself in new love, replaced the old and scrubbed it all from the cracks and crevices of my soul. i will have locked the inner voices elsewhere and taught them to love instead of hate. one day i will be whole again.

but today is not that day.

—  and then it’s gone
  • your wrist always had this cute tattoo on it from the moment you were born
  • it was a very innocent and childish sentence so your parents imagined you might meet your soulmate when you were a small kid
  • so of course they explained from early on that if someone said “Excuse me, that’s my friend!” you had to tell them immediately
  • one day you were playing in the park while your parents were eating something on a bench not far from you
  • you met two little boys who seemed to know each other and you got along with one of them surprisingly well
  • but one of them was a little shy and barely talked, probably because he didn’t know you that well
  • you had made a new friend and you were so happy, took his hand and said “let’s go down the slide together!”
  • then the shy kid stood up and took his friend’s hand back 
  • “Excuse me, that’s my friend!”
  • your eyes shot right open “You’re my super best friend now!”
  • you could just say that last sentence before his mom called him to go home immediately, no excuses
  • you ran to your parents telling them what happened
  • after that you visited the park often 
  • but you never saw your soulmate there again
  • you were heartbroken as a little kid who just found their soulmate but also lost him after a few minutes of knowing him
  • your parents did remember the exact words you said to him so if you’d ever encounter him again she’d be sure by looking at his wrist
  • *fast forward a lot of years*
  • you still went to the park often hoping you’d see your soulmate again
  • it was sad honestly because like what’s the chance that after so many years he’d come here again?
  • this week though something changed
  • there’s been a guy who comes to read here for an hour or something for a few days in a row
  • it seemed like he didn’t want to be bothered so you left him alone
  • you two had a little in common you noticed because one day you were reading the same book 
  • when you noticed you smiled and waited for him to notice you because this was the funniest coincidence in a while
  • after a few chapters he looked up and when he saw you, you laughed and motioned to your book
  • at first he was smiling as well until he noticed something 
  • he came over to you (which tbh you didnt expect because he looked so shy and stuff)
  • “I can’t believe it wow. Look, my tattoo!” and then 
  • OHHH
  • you saw the exact words you’ve been hoping to see for a long time 
    “You’re my super best friend now!”
  • but instead of being happy you hit him on the shoulder, almost shoving him of the bench
  • “What? You’re supposed to be happy?! After maybe years of having lost you?”
  • you then explained how you’ve been to this park for about every week
  • your soulmate started smiling “I’ve been doing the same, but I guess we always went on another day…”
  • but on vacations you were there the whole week so you were confused how you could’ve missed him
  • apparently his stupid ass always went on vacation or had other plans
  • after talking for a few hours he realised he never told you his name
  • “Oh by the way let me introduce myself, I’m Wonwoo.”
  • “Hi Wonwoo, I’m your soulmate Y/n”


happy birthday, self. _ノ乙(、ン、)_

hey look! a boomix! goodnight!

anonymous asked:

Sorry to break some hearts but my brain put even more angst on the end of that fic. Just, if the threats started again and reader got in trouble and now I have the image of Greg crying while she's dying. Just, "I was supposed to protect you. I promised"... Ok.... I'll see myself out. -JM

A/N: You’ve inspired me to write an alternative ending darling! *hysterical evil laughing*

An alternative ending to this one shot- https://imaginedilestrade.tumblr.com/post/160490630033/im-going-to-take-advantage-that-your-requests-are

P.s I’m sorry 😭 not sorry


Greg couldn’t help but smile watching you crack a joke with Donovan and Anderson. Your smile could brighten his day.

He grabbed a pile of important letters he had to read and reply to, he heard you laughing through the walls and let out a laugh himself as he slid his finger under the envelope seal and tore it open, paying more attention to you than the envelope itself. He took out the piece of paper and he felt his whole body go into shock. As if someone had dipped him in freezing water.

Only he would have rather had that than the letter he was holding in is hand. It was all too familiar.

It simply read, ‘You can’t protect Y/N forever’.

“Hey!” Greg didn’t even hear the door open and quickly crumpled the piece of paper up in his hand.

“H-hi!” He nervously stuttered out and you couldn’t help but furrow a suspicious brow.

“What’s that?” You slowly approached his desk.

“Oh nothing, just rubbish” he tried to calmly laugh it off and you nodded understandingly before quickly snatching it off his desk. You ran away from his grasp and opened it “No! Don’t!” Greg pleaded but it was too late, your eyes had already scanned over the words.

“How long?” You asked, trying not to let your nerves show.

Greg let out a defeated sigh “This has been the first”.

You tore it up with a small smile “We’ll get through this Greg,” you tossed the paper into the bin and walked over to a petrified looking Greg “Together this time”. You took his hands in yours and reassuringly squeezed them.

“I promise you,” Greg began looking deep into your eyes “I will protect you and I will always be there for you”. You nodded and wrapped your arms around Greg, he held you tightly as the both of you shared a hug “I love you” he spoke into your neck and it sounded slightly muffled.

“I love you too” you pulled away and gently kissed him, not removing your lips from Greg’s until Anderson disturbed the two of you by awkwardly clearing his throat.

You and Greg pulled away with bashful smiles “I should get back to Baker Street, John asked me to watch Rosie for a couple of hours”. You bid your goodbyes and made it to Baker Street, Sherlock and John left you with Rosie who was sound asleep so you grabbed one of Sherlock’s books that was lying about and made yourself a cup of tea.

Your phone buzzed and you smiled at the screen noticing it was a text from Greg ‘I’m just out of work, five more minutes until I see that beautiful face of yours (if traffic doesn’t hold me up!) x’.

You were about to text back when the front door shut and you stood up “You two are back ear-” your voice disappeared into thin air as you saw an unfamiliar figure standing in front of you with all black clothing and a shabby looking knitted balaclava on.

“He can’t protect you now” he man sneered and lunged forward, you could barley react as you felt a sharp pain spread outwards from your stomach. The man scampered out the flat and our hands shakily pressed against your wound.

You couldn’t move, you could barely register what was happening. You stood on the spot as a tear streamed down your cheek and then you tried to find your phone. You let out a groan that burned your throat as you walked into the kitchen table, your right hand pressing on it to support your body as your left fumbled with your phone and you pressed on John’s number, you considered phoning Greg but he would be driving and almost at Baker Street.

After two rings John picked up “Hello?”

“John get back here. Now” you breathed out and hung up before he could speak.

Just as you tossed your phone away Greg walked through the front door with a large smile spread over his face before it fell seeing the drops of bright red blood on the floor that lead to the kitchen.

“Y/N?” He called out in a shaky voice and turned around, seeing you hunched over the table. He ran to you and wrapped his arms around you just before you fell to the ground, the lack of blood going to your head was making you dizzy.

“It’s….it’s okay” you softly whispered out with a small smile.

“No! It’s not!” Greg cried out as tears streamed down his cheeks “I promised you! A few hours ago I promised to keep you safe! I was supposed to protect you!”

“I know but this isn’t your fault” your voice was barely audible, if you spoke any louder your voice would crack and you’d end up as a blubbering mess in your final moments.

Sherlock and John rushed up the stairs, already having a sense of dread from hearing your voice on the phone. John crouched down beside you as you lay on the flor with Greg still cradling you in his arms. You let out a small yelp as John forcefully pressed both hands on your stomach to compress the bleeding.

“We need to get her to the hospital,” John told Greg and Sherlock “Y/N probably has internal bleeding-”

You cut John off with a cocky smirk “That’s where the blood is supposed to be…”

John let out a broken laugh, wiping away a stray tear that left his eye. You swore you saw Sherlock tearing up too. “John, I’m no doctor but I know…” You weakly trailed off and John sent you a sympathetic smile.

“Know what?” Greg asked as if he was being conspired against. You let out a shaky breath and looked up to Greg as tears splashed on your face “No…” His throat completely closed “No!” He screamed out louder, sending a shockwave of guilt though the flat.

“Greg, please…this isn’t your fault” you tired to relieve some of the guilt he felt but he wouldn’t listen, he was frantically shaking his head as tears spilled from his eyes. You reached your hand up to cup his cheek and he stopped shaking his head.

He placed his hand over yours “This is not your fault,” you weakly spoke out in a stern voice “Okay?” Greg sent you a single nod and you smiled “I love you”.

“I love you too Y/N,” Greg breathed out “Y/N?” He noticed the sparkle in your eyes fade and he screamed out your name in an pained animalistic roar, he desperately tried to wake you by shaking your body but it went limp in his arms.

John asked Sherlock to pull Greg away as the doctor grabbed a blanket to place over you with a heavy heart. The ambulance arrived to take your body away and Greg got into the back of it.

“Why don’t you come with us?” John suggested, he wouldn’t know how Greg would cope being left in the back of the ambulance with your lifeless body.

“No,” Greg groggily replied and glanced over his shoulder to John “I promised I’d always be there”.

anonymous asked:

I read an ask from a anon how said that anti helped them survive. I just wanted to tel you that I've kind of had the same experience with Dark. When February rolled around, I wasn't doing to good. I had major art block and depression was part of the reason. But when a date with markiplier cane out, I felt something click and I started drawing and painting again. My first drawing was darky himself. One day I hope I'll get to tell mark how much he's helped me. I'm trying to stop self harming- 1/2

2/2 and I try to ask myself “would mark really want you to do this to yourself?” I know the answer is no, and I’m really trying to stop. He’s pulled me out of the deepest depression I’ve had, and I just can’t thank him enough. I’m glad there are other people that feel the same as I do

It’s honestly so amazing to see how something like Anti and Dark could help people in such beautiful ways.

I’m so happy ADWM was able to pull you out of your depression. Hopefully you’re doing a bit better and creating that amazing art of yours!

And you never know…He might find out someday! I hope he does; he needs to know how that sketch helped you and probably others. <3

  • me: i won multiple nerkmids today, i'll use one at the alien aisha vending machine! maybe today will be my lucky day
  • alien aisha: mmmmmmmm mmmmmmmm enjoy your garbage you stupid rube
  • me: that was dumb. could have made like 70k selling that stupid thing. never doing that again.
  • me, the following day: i won multiple nerkmids today. i'll use one at the alien aisha vending machine! maybe today will be my lucky day
  • alien aisha: mmmmm mmmmm you must love this shitty food
  • me: that was dumb. could have made like 70k selling that stupid thing. never doing that again.
  • me, the next day: i won multiple nerkmids today. i'll use one at the

anonymous asked:

Please make duaa for me, I'm repenting from a sin that I've been doing for a very long time and I'm afraid that God won't forgive me, I'm suffering and I feel sick and disgusted with myself by remembering what I used to do and I can't seem to be able to forgive myself. I'm repenting and resisting the temptation and I know for sure that I won't go back to it again inshallah. Please make duaa for me to stay strong through this and for God to forgive me and that I'll be able to find peace one day

I feel like I’m in high school again, like I have no agency and I’m just waiting for the next bomb to drop

You ask why I
let go after fighting
to keep you in my life
for so long

Well at first I thought to myself,
Maybe one day
we’ll be two strangers
meeting again
for the first time

But now,
my desire to meet
that stranger
has fleeted
with the sting
you first left me with.

—  writing about her helps (?)

Im so scared of feelings. Im so terrified of getting close to someone. I dont think I’ll ever be able to open myself up again. Its so fucked up. Because people like me, deserve all the love. I deserve so much love. I’ve become comfortable with being alone. Im okay with being alone. But not lonely. One day, i know i will meet someone that will be able to peel back my layers and not be afraid of what they find and run away. It scares the shit out of me. But oh god, when that happens, all this bullshit will be worth it once im finally happy.

shhh i wanted fluffy kurotsuki for once

and i’m pretty sure the longer they are together the more tsukki has to struggle to keep a straight face at all the cheesy and lame shit that comes out of kuroo’s mouth sometimes. and on special occasions he won’t even try to hide that he’s actually pretty damn happy with his loser boyfriend ; u;)/

I watched Legion two days ago. I had no idea what I was getting myself into! I enjoyed it so much, but there was too much to wrap my head around in one run-through. I’m going to have to watch it again. No, this isn’t just an excuse to stare at Dan Stevens’ gorgeous blue eyes for about six or seven hours. (Although that is a good enough reason all on its own.) There’s also the whump. I mean delicious angst. I MEAN I got the big picture but missed out on some of the details, especially at the beginning.


Sometimes when I get bored or need a distraction I arrange musical things… in this case I was distracting myself from Adulthood (how thematically appropriate) and whipped up a quick mallets/strings/piano cover of my most recent obsession, Gravity Falls. It’s a rough unfinished thing but idk if I’ll ever finish it so here ya go, internet. I’m sure a thousand people have done covers of this but hey, it gave me an excuse to try out the theremin sound on Finale, so…