i'll always love you the best

I just wanted to hear you say you were sorry, sorry for hurting me, sorry for lying to me, sorry for not trying your best for me. I just wanted to know that you were sorry too that we didn’t last, that we both ended up heartbroken, that you’re always on my mind and I’m never on yours. I just wanted to know if you will ever be sorry for leaving me the way you did, for making me feel like I shouldn’t exist, for making me love you the way that I did.
—  t.i // Are you sorry yet?

“Your eyes light up when you talk about him. That is because he’s my best friend.”

1. It’s okay to feel lonely sometimes. Life is best carried out without anyone else around. You’ll experience a feeling of freedom.
2. Failure is just a part of learning experience. Success is always starts with failure.
3. Few amazing close friends is way better than having a hundreds of casual ones.
4. Loving yourself more isn’t selfish at all.
5. To forgive is to let go of grudges and bitterness in your heart.
6. Kindness is free, it feels great, it’s within ourselves and it’s special.
7. Don’t judge the people around you. You aren’t a sheriff nor a prosecutor.
8.You aren’t always right. No one is.
9. It’s your sole responsibility to watch every words you’ll utter, and every actions that you’ll about take. Being a responsible person is a
clear sign of maturity.
10. Don’t forget to wear your smile more. Aside from it releases endorphins and serotonin, it can make a world a better place to live in.
11. Love has a different forms. It can be found everywhere– in your family, in your friends, or even within yourself. You just have to take a look around.
12. Don’t be ruled by your emotions. Don’t let it destroy you.. Just don’t.
13. Marriage isn’t a race game. You don’t have to be the first one to move to the end of a track.
14. It’s never too late for everything – to start trying, to learn, to change, and to love.
15. Your presence has a great impact in this world. Life will never be the same without you.

I know we could love each other in another life, under difference circumstances.

I know because I see the way you look at me when I talk about things I’m passionate about. And I know you see how my eyes light up when I’m laughing at your jokes. I’ve always noticed the way you kissed the top of my head when you hugged me goodbye. And I know you’ve noticed how I hang on for as long as I can. I can’t ignore the way you look away when I talk about someone else. And I know you can’t miss the insincerity behind my smile when you mention her.

I know we could love each other in another life.

It’s a shame we only get one.

—  excerpt from an unfinished book #96 // We’re so right for each other, but our lives so aren’t
That feeling when you get your best friend back. That’s the best feeling in the world. To be reunited with the one you’ve known since you were kids. The one who has been there to see you at your worst and your best. The one who you’ve had the craziest adventures with. The one who will always be there for you no matter what. No matter how many fights you get in, they’ll still always be your best friend. Thank you for still being my true best friend.
—  My best friend is back

the thing about falling in love with your best friend is you think they will never hurt you.  How could someone that you know so well hurt you, right? Thats where it all goes wrong.

We used to spend nights on the phone for hours just laughing and talking about the most pointless things. it seemed like we could never run out of conversation.. Its funny how things change, because now here we are 6 months later, and I can’t even think of a sentence to say to you.
You were always there when I needed it and you were the only one that could ever understand me.
And I thought we crossed the line between friendship and lovers because of all the nicknames and all the flirting and all the hearts and touching under tables and words that you spoke so smoothly. I thought that was all so beyond friendship. but the thing is, just because someone acts like they want more, does not mean they want more. and just because someone seems to be everything you are looking for in a person does not mean that you are also that person for them.
And I used to think that you were so stupid for not seeing what was right there in front of you but the truth is you saw it, you just didn’t want it.
the thing about falling in love with your best friend is, it will destroy you and you won’t even see it coming.
The truth is, you never know anyone. You can, think you know a person but people will always always always surprise you. and you surprised me in all the worse ways.
because you didn’t love me, and you weren’t even a friend to me to start with but I was too blinded to see any of it, even after you continuously proved it.
You never felt a damn thing for me,  you just didn’t want to be alone, you just kept me there for when it was convenient for you.
We haven’t spoken in months and you don’t even care, you don’t even realize any of it.
and I just don’t understand it, I don’t understand how its possible to go from talking to someone day after day, to not even texting them to ask how they’ve been. I don’t understand why you said all these things if you didn’t mean any of them.. and I don’t understand why its been months and I’m still in the same state you left me in, I’m still always thinking about you and you don’t give a damn.

—  its always going to be like this
You’ll know because he won’t mind that your texts are always a little too long and your laugh is always a little too loud and your eyes squint different shapes when you smile. You’ll know because he’ll ask you about your favorite bookstores and if you’re close with your siblings rather than whether or not you’re a virgin. You’ll know because he’ll tell you what he wants to name his kids and how much he wants to be a good dad. You’ll know because he says “I love you” using so many different words; “Are you okay?” “How’s your day going?” “I have a story that I’ve been dying to tell you.” You’ll know because you’ll want him to know every part of you, you’ll want to explore every crevice of your past with him, even the bad parts, because you want him to be able to love you for the scars on your inner thighs as well as the scars on your heart where others left cracks. You’ll know because one day you’ll wake up and realize that loving him has made you love yourself a little bit more.
—  When Did You Realize You Love Him?
As she walked into the room her eyes avoided his as best they could, but they failed. They always failed. But this time he was waiting for her to look, waiting for her to catch his glance; and when she did everything else slowly faded away. She dared a smile, feeling braver than ever, and she could have sworn he was about to smile back. She could have sworn he was about to look at her the way he used to. It was almost perfect, and then he looked past her towards another who had just walked in, and the almost-smile was replaced with an actual smile. She almost got that smile. She almost got her hope back. And even though she knew that he hadn’t deliberately ignored her, and that he was merely responding to an old friend who happened to stumble in behind her at the worst possible moment, she couldn’t help but be sick of all the almosts that existed between them.
—  9:16 p.m.
My dad writes a poem for my mom every Christmas, and she frames them and puts them up all over the house. I’ve always thought ‘That. That’s what love is. That’s what I want.’ Today, I went to a bakery with a boy and we talked and laughed about the silly little things we both do, and I learned that his laugh reminds me of fluttering wings and soaring so high you can do nothing but smile. We adventured through to the bookstore for hours and read and goofed off between the shelves, and I learned about the stories he’s made of and his terribly hilarious sense of humor. He told me he had always felt a little lonely as we walked around town with coffee, and when I grabbed his hand, it closed around mine like it was the easiest, most natural thing in the entire world. It felt like I was holding the moon. He shook hands with my father and I stood there smiling and thought, ‘This. This is what it feels like.’
—  It Feels Like This

i fucking hate the way you look at me now. it’s like you don’t even recognize me anymore and maybe you’re not wrong for that, because after you left i reinvented myself completely. the best part of me was always you and i ripped that straight out. i broke my own ribs at the attempt of tearing my heart out. i bruised my knuckles on the wall whenever i saw you kissing her and i lost myself for a while. i was still the me that was wrapped around your finger; the one you got off on. and then i walked away one day and with shaky hands, i sanded down my bones, creating a sturdy structure. no longer a broken one. i skinned myself alive and i bled myself dry. and then the next morning i woke up from my bed of decay and painted on a new smile. i became someone new. i became someone who’s bones you didn’t break, someone who’s heart you didn’t touch, someone’s who’s skin you no longer have fingerprints etched into, and someone who’s lips no longer remember what it feels like to be against yours and i’m okay with that. i’m a new me, and i hope the old you, the one i fell for, has it in him to be proud of me.

Why am I so difficult to love? Every time I get close to someone it always ends the same way. They get bored. They find someone better. I’m not enough anymore. Why am I like that? Why is it that what I want more than anything seems to be the one thing I can’t grasp? I want to know what I’m doing wrong. I want to learn how to be loved, but I don’t know how. I’m stumbling around in the dark, accidentally breaking glass things and getting cut trying to find a light switch. I want to be ready, but I don’t know how to prepare. No one can tell me and I can’t seem to figure it out. So what the hell am I supposed to do?
—  Learning to Love
1) You’re best friend is not always going to be there for you. You’ll have a falling out, it’s normal.
2) don’t make life decisions based on temporary people.
3) Love is painless, love is good, love is real. Never believe that love doesn’t exist because it does and it will find you when the time is right.
4) Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it comes at the worst time possible and you have to know what’s best for you, take care of yourself first.
5) Not everyone is going to like you. There’s nothing you can do about that. Don’t try your hardest to please people that have a negative view on you.
6) It’s okay to go out. Have fun. Be safe.
7) Hang onto people that make you feel good and get rid of the negative. Life is too short to spend time with people that make you miserable.
8) The man with the alcohol on his breath that tells you he wants you, don’t let him talk you into anything. It’s the alcohol talking and he wont want you the next day.
9) Don’t let people use you. Whether it’s for your looks, your brain, or your stuff, fake people are not worth your time.
11) You don’t need attention from guys to be valuable.
12) Don’t give attention to people that you aren’t interested in just because you’re lonely.
13) If you don’t like school because of the people surrounding you, separate yourself from them. High school is temporary.
14) Do what you want because it will make you happy, your happiness should be your top priority.
15) Don’t lie to the people you love. Honesty is important in any relationship.
16) Sometimes it’s better to keep quiet. Not everyone needs to know your business.
17) Stress is relative, adults aren’t going to understand. Remember that they’re also going through things you wouldn’t understand.
18) Pain is temporary, no matter how bad it feels now.
—  18 things I wish my mom taught me before high school. \ ( @lizz-khalifaa )