i'll always be in your heart

Darling, I hope that you’ll meet someone who always knew what you deserve. From the things you wanted to feel to the words you needed to hear. I hope you will meet someone who will not mock you—laugh at you when you started blurting out all the crazy things that touched your heart. Someone who will not walk away from you when you started telling them about all the precious things—that runs through your mind. I hope you will meet someone who will not only promise you to stay, but also do everything just to keep you with them. I hope you will meet someone who will embrace every little piece of you. Someone who understands your passion and supports you in loving it . And if you meet that someone, I hope that there will be mutual feelings between the two of you. That even if you are the moon and he is the sun, both of you will always remember that you always light each other’s life. That when you get tired, he will always be there to lift you up—and the same thing as for you to him. I hope you will find someone who will make you feel all the best things you deserve to experience. Because like other people in this world, you deserve to be genuinely happy, even if you thought that you will never be.
—  ma.c.a // Sunlight and Moonlight, Makes a Day
100 ways to say “I love you”:
1. You are beautiful.
2. I love your smile.
3. Here, let me get that for you.
4. I love seeing you wake up in the morning.
5. You are amazing.
6. I love (this) about you:
7. Stay safe. Text me when you get there.
8. I love when you do (this):
9. I think you’re beautiful when:
10. You’re too good for me.
11. I don’t deserve you.
12. I care about you.
13. Don’t put yourself down like that.
14. I adore you.
15. I can’t stop thinking about you.
16. Seeing you makes me smile.
17. I need you by my side.
18. I’m thankful for you.
19. You make me a better person.
20. You complete me.
21. Have a good day at work!
22. You’re the light of my life.
23. Seeing you makes my day.
24. I get butterflies every time we talk.
25. I’m so lucky to have you; I don’t know how I got so lucky.
26. You set my heart on fire.
27. I’ll walk you home.
28. I love to make you happy.
29. You’re my soulmate.
30. You’re my best friend.
31. I can’t wait to see you (again).
32. You mean the world to me.
33. You’re my rock.
34. I value you.
35. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.
36. I love being around you.
37. Pull over and let me drive some.
38. Take my jacket, it’s cold outside.
39. I want you.
40. You complete me.
41. You’re my happiness.
42. Do you need anything?
43. I want to hold your hand and never let go.
44. You’re the only one for me.
45. You are my heaven on earth.
46. Every time I look at you I fall in love all over again.
47. Drive safe.
48. I don’t know what I’d do without you.
49. Forever isn’t too long, because I know I’ll be with you.
50. I’d rather argue with you than kiss someone else.
51. You look great today.
52. I love that _______ on you.
53. You look cute when you push your glasses up.
54. I’ll always be here; I’m here for you.
55. My heart hurts when you’re not around.
56. I can’t think of what my life would be like without you.
57. We’re perfect for each other.
58. I cherish you; you’re more important than anything else in my life.
59. I will love you until I die, and even after.
60. You’re mine.
61. I support you.
62. I’m addicted to you.
63. You’re perfect in my eyes.
64. Take this; it’ll help you feel better.
65. I can’t wait to see you.
66. You’re the only one for me.
67. I’m crazy about you.
68. I had an amazing time with you.
69. I feel so lucky to have you.
70. I’ll never let you go; I’ll never want to.
71. I hope this moment never ends.
72. You leave me breathless.
73. I’d do anything for you.
74. Seeing you happy makes me happy.
75. I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.
76. You always find a way to make me smile.
77. I can’t put what I feel for you into words; it’s too great.
78. I still get jealous even though I know you’re mine.
79. I’m listening to you.
80. I made this for you, I know it’s your favorite.
81. I’m excited and nervous for tonight with you.
82. I got you your favorite candy.
83. I’ll always care about you.
84. I made you breakfast.
85. I can never stay mad at you.
86. I love your eyes; they’re gorgeous.
87. I love that outfit on you.
88. You look so cute.
89. You’re the highlight of my day.
90. How’d you sleep?
91. Your smile makes my heart go crazy.
92. I hate seeing you cry.
93. It’s my job to make you happy.
94. I want to spend more time with you.
95. I’ll fix it.
96. I hate when we argue.
97. You’re the only person I want to live my life with.
98. You drive me crazy (in a good way).
99. I’m proud of you.
100. I trust you, I always will.

- L.L.
—  via @thoughtlessinspirationss on tumblr
Acknowledge it.
In order to move on you need to acknowledge it or it may as well eat you alive.
Pushing it aside isn’t moving on.
You need to let yourself hurt, ache, scream in pain.
Punch the wall at 3 am and watch the blood fall from the bruises on your skin and realize you’re alive, yell at your neighbors for being annoyed by the noise, screw them for trying to stop you from reaching the peace you long for so badly.
Eat pizza and ice-cream until your stomach grows sick and now you can focus on another pain other than the one on your chest.
Isolate yourself from the world for as long as you need, drink, smoke, have nightmares.
Allow yourself to be immersed on a pit of self pity because you deserve it.
You deserve to feel pity for yourself because you were hurt and are still hurting.
Immerse yourself so you can fix yourself.
It doesn’t matter how long it takes.
Then rise from that pit and don’t look back.
Start doing the things you’ve always wanted to do and don’t feel bad for focusing on the one person that was and will always matter the most, yourself.
Acknowledge the pain but don’t let it get you down anymore for you are not the person you were 15 minutes ago, imagine 4 months ago.
Allow your heart to look for somebody else because sometimes the only way is to find someone that truly deserves all you have to offer.
Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting, it means letting go of something that no longer serves and deserves you.
—  This how to move on (kind of) - Mariana Teles Fernandes
I’m so sorry I loved you for so long. I’m so sorry I kept trying to hold onto you when it was obvious you didn’t want me in your life anymore. All you wanted was to be set free and I think I have finally learned to let you go. Not because I want to, but because you’re happy with out me. And all I ever wanted was to make you happy.
—  I’m sorry it took me so long

My heart Still dances
On the rhythm
Of your guitar

Even when
The fingers playing
Are no longer mine.

—  you will always be the rhythm for me 🎵/Methethinkinggirl
Why do I always think of you, when you were absolutely smiling at someone else? Why do I always imagine that you’re with me, when you were probably holding someone else’s hand? Why do I fall in love with you, when you always wanted someone else? Maybe because I cannot pull my heart out of your way. And maybe because it breaks me to know that there is someone out there who can make you the happiest person in the universe. Maybe because I can’t accept the fact that it wasn’t me. And it will never be me.
—  ma.c.a // Why it has to be you?
A Letter to my Ex Best Friend

Sorry for any grammatical errors. I haven’t edited it yet so I’m sorry in advance lolll. But this is something very personal that I wrote today and hopefully someone else could relate. 

————-

I was going through my memory box today and a lot of stuff that involved you came up.  It brought me back to the good times and I almost texted you but then I remembered that you’re just a stranger now. It’s been a couple months since we last talked. Crazy huh? How in just a year we went from being inseperable to complete strangers. If someone had asked us a year or two ago if we could see our life without each other in it, we would have laughed and said no; Now here we are.

I would be lying if I said I haven’t thought about you or that I didn’t miss you. I do miss you, a lot. So much has happened since we last talked, and I wish I could share it all with you. There has been times where I picked up my phone to text you but then I would remember you’re not that person anymore; And it’s sad because for the longest time it seemed like you’d be that person who stayed in my life for a long while. I miss being close with your family and being able to call your home my home as well. I miss having the privilege of saying I had more than one family. It’s crazy how much can change in a short amount of time.

I hope you don’t hate me for walking away when I did. I hope one day you understand that I had to or else we would have never known just how toxic our friendship had been. There is quite a few things I know I could have done better and shouldn’t have done, same goes for you. We are both to blame for our friendship being as unhealthy as it was. Though it was so unhealthy, we shared a lot of great memories and I’d like to think it was equally good as it was bad.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry we’re not best friends anymore and I’m sorry I had to be the one to walk away. I’m sorry for any pain I caused. I’m sorry I couldn’t be your person anymore. I’m sorry we couldn’t do everything we wanted to. I’m sorry I tried to blame you for our friendship ending. I’m sorry I tried to hate you because damn did I try. I tried so hard and for awhile it worked because hating you and being mad at you was easier than missing you. But I realize that I could never hate you, no matter how mad I am about what happened. I’m sorry this is how it had to end for us, but that’s life for you. Not everything goes the way it should or how you want it to.

But I would like to thank you. Thank you for being my person for as long as you were. Thank you for being patient with me while I learned how to trust another person. Thank you for the memories I will never forget. Thank you for caring enough to break through the walls I had worked so hard to build over the years. Thank you for being the person I could run to for everything and anything. Thank you for being the person I could count on. Thank you for being the person I could confide in without the fear of judgement. Thank you for teaching me how to love and be loved. Thank you for showing me that I can still trust others and be trusted. Thank you for proving to me that people come into our lives for a reason and though they may not stay, the lessons learned are a blessing.

I would like to say I can see us being friends again in the future but I’d only be spitting out false hope. It would never be the same and if I happen to see you one day, I’ll smile and walk away. My heart will break a little and all our memories will hit me like a train but I’ll feel grateful for the time we did have together. Some people aren’t meant to stay in your life forever and unfortunately I learned you are one of those people. They say some people only come into your life to teach you a lesson and leave, but the most important people leave a mark. Well you left a mark and I am thankful for you coming into my life when you did.

I know you may never see this but I needed to get it off my chest. There were a lot of words unsaid and a lot of words I wish I could have said. I guess I’m writing this to get a small sense of closure for myself.

I hope you and your family are doing well. I hope you get everything you want and more in the life you chose for yourself.

You’ll always hold a place in my heart.

Sincerely,

Your Ex Best Friend

I think the biggest problem is, that we’re always in love with the idea of love. And the
idea of love is everything we want it to be.
Everything but real.

Because no matter how much we try to deny it, love is truly love - and nothing more, nor less - when it hurts your heart, your soul and shakes you a little.

—  // F.F. - About love
You read stories of fierce dragons and fantastic battles and long ago quests, and your heart fills, fills, fills. Fills with excitement and yearning for these experiences and these people. And yet, tucked inside those pages, there’s always a subplot. A subplot where the guy always gets the girl. Every novel has it. And it’s wrong. Life is not all about romance. Life doesn’t always turn out where the guy gets the girl. Life IS about those dragons, giants, and quests. That is what makes us alive.
—  Excerpt from a book I will never write #1217
There’s nothing okay with heartbreak. There’s nothing fine with the feeling that brought you the most loneliest and sleepless night. There’s nothing good with those tears you keep on wiping away from your eyes at 3am when no one is around. Feeling your own heart collapsing and falling piece by piece was never a wonderful thing. Do you know what’s okay? What’s fine? And what’s good? Heartbreak doesn’t feel like flying with colorful butterflies, but sometimes it’s okay to walk alone and cherish your own company—for you to be able to know yourself even more. It doesn’t make you love the morning and the sun, but sometimes it’s fine to watch the moon while everyone has gone to sleep. It doesn’t look like bright little stars on the night sky, but sometimes instead of hating the rain, you should listen to what it has to say not with your ears but with your heart and mind. Heartbreak hurts, but it’s always up to you if you’re going to let it destroy you or make you a stronger person. When it’s about your own heart, you always have a choice.
—  ma.c.a // Choose What’s Best For You
Child,
The world will always be
harsh,
and cruel,
and cold
But I hope,
You still face it with the same,
Hope,
Strength,
Love,
And Fearlessness
.
Don’t let the fire in your heart burn out,
Don’t let the sparkle in your eyes dull.
—  Bmfs
Why is it that
we doubt ourselves
when someone
hurts us?
Why is it that
we wonder where
we went wrong
instead of where
they went wrong?
Why is it that
we let them
define us so easily
and we don’t
blame them for
what they’ve done
to us?
Why is it that
we are willing
to believe
it was our fault
for being too much
too loving
too caring
too clingy
to attached
too naive
too—
whatever the hell
they say?
—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write #66
The truth is
I still whisper your name under my breath
I still smile when I see you
My heart skip a beat when I hear your name
I still see my future with you
I can’t see myself with anyone else than you
I still think of you when I sleep
You are the one to occupy my dreams
You are always on my mind
When I see you I still think you are the most beautiful thing 
The way you would talk still haunts me
Your smile still makes my knees weak
The truth is
I’m still in love with you

I’ve always been good at overthinking.
The machinery in my head is constantly turning and when I try to shut it off, the hot iron material burns my hands. So I let things continue and the sounds become louder. The same words repeat over and over again: ERROR, ERROR, ERROR. There is an error in my system and the hardware is malfunctioning, but I can’t stop. I can’t stop thinking and the oil from the machines is leaking. Soon enough, it will set fire to my head.

I’ve always been good at hiding.
Even my mother can’t find me sometimes. She’ll search for me in every room of our house, not realizing that I’m following in her shadow. I feel sorry for her, but she’s the one who taught me how to blend in. How to mold my edges and become someone else. How to be the perfect daughter, the one all her peers praise, but deep down don’t care about.

I’ve always been good at miscommunication.
My father doesn’t talk much, but sometimes I get the feeling that he’s speaking to me without words. His eyes always flicker so bright and the furrow that forms between his eyebrows is prominent. When he meets my gaze and his lips curl, I try not to flinch. It’s a smile you will never understand the meaning of. I learned from him best, how to make my silence feel like a thunderstorm, but he never taught me how to control it. I’ve wrecked places and left people homeless.

I’ve always been good at pretending.
My friends are the best audience any actor could ever ask for. They remember that it’s all a show and none of it is real. So when I bruise myself, the concept that I will forget and move on in an hour or so is something that is commonly understood. Nobody ever expects me to actually get hurt. Nobody ever expects a plot twist. I hope that the day I betray them, they don’t get too angry.

I’ve always been good at empathizing.  
Tell me your problems and I’ll make them my own. Tell me your imperfections and I’ll give you pieces of myself, if you want them. Tell me you’re lonely and I’ll be at your doorstep. God, I’ll crush my own heart between my palms if you asked me to. I’ll do anything to make anybody happy, even if it brings my own doom. I am a tragedy.

—  Some of us are written by Shakespeare 
I always wait for you to open your eyes in the morning and see the sun rises in the sky. The way the darkest of the night melts and replaces by soft pastel lights. I always wait for your hand to move towards mine and hold it tight for the rest of our train ride—for the moment when I can rest my head on your shoulder and nap for awhile. I always wait for you to smile whenever I say something that made your heart thumps twice than normal. I always wait for the moon to show up while we kiss under the stars. I always wait for you to caress my hair while you say all the words that describe your feelings about me. And now I always wait for 11:11 to come before I write something about us. Something about the most precious—yet hurtful things that happened in the past. Yet sometimes no matter how hard I hurry, I ended up writing on the other time of the day. I always wait for something good to happen, but I never waited for the bad ones to come. I always wait for the moment when our hearts beat as one, but I never waited for the time when—yours will leave mine. I never waited for your feelings to fade faster than mine. I never waited for it, because I never wanted to see it coming.
—  ma.c.a // I never waited for you to fall out of love with me
I hate myself for loving you so much and i wish i could tattoo the feeling of your lips on my skin. I can’t see myself ever not loving you but you and i will always be unfinished business and maybe somethings are better left unfinished. You’re in my bones, my heart and your voice echoes in my veins. I’ll have to rip myself open to let go of you, but thank you for reminding me what butterflies feel like
—  L.S.
The reality is, you can never forget your first love. He will always have a particular place in your heart that will never gonna be replaced with anyone you’ll meet in life. You will always remember a bit of him every time you try to love someone new. Don’t be afraid, because it’s normal. Remembering the past doesn’t mean you’re still in love with him, but it means you’re able to recall the lessons life has taught you and the things that made you stronger. And that’s the beauty of remembering, you can choose to look at the brighter side of life. The love you have felt with him will eventually fade, but the lessons will forever stay. So the next time you remember your first love, be grateful. Because it shows you are better and stronger right now.