i'd totally go lesbian for her

  • Violet: Hey!
  • Carmelita: Why were you talking to Isadora?
  • Violet: I don't know, I mean, she's so weird, she just, you know, came up to me and started told me a couplet about crack.
  • Carmelita: Let me tell you something about Isadora. We were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then, I started going out with a guy who was totally gorgeous but then he moved to the City, and Isadora was like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to hang out with him, she'd be like, "Why didn't you call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my cocktail party, which was an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Isadora, I can't invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be girls there in their bathing suits. I mean, she was a LESBIAN. So then her mom, called my mom and started yelling at her, it was so retarded. Now I guess she's on crack.
  • Thordak: Let me tell you something about Raishan. We were best friends in the fire plane. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even - whatever. So a couple months ago, I started the Chroma Conclave which is totally gorgeous but then we moved all across Tal'dorei to do our own thing, and Raishan was like, weirdly angry at me. Like, if I would blow her off to subjugate the people of Emon, she'd be like, "Why won't you tell me how to cure myself?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with me?" So then, for my Winter's Crest party, which was an all-dragons pool party, I was like, "Raishan, I can't invite you, because I think you're a traitor." I mean I couldn't have a traitor at my party. There were gonna be dragons there plotting evilly. I mean, right? She was a TRAITOR. So then her wyverns attacked my wyverns and started yelling at them, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of the Chroma Conclave because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall dressed as Seeker Asum, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she's allied with Vox Machina.