i'd tell you i loved you but then i'd have to kill you

Things I didn’t know Desmond could do 1/? - Mah boi pulling some John Wick style right here

50% OFF Starters pt 2
  • "If you continue your attempts at flirting, I will be forced to take DRASTIC measures."
  • "I like watching you from behind."
  • "Stunning deduction sherlock."
  • *demonic voice* "by the darkest sun that casts its menacing rays of the furthest madness, we sense your intentions, (name). the gibbering of mad cultists whisper wicked words to temporal winds, they inform us that you are not to be trusted. Usurper. Usurper."
  • "USURPER!"
  • "I've heard a lot about you and your extensive collection of tank tops, like I'm thinking about getting like 10 more."
  • "Calm down little dude."
  • "the fear of drowning is a primal one. it's a feeling of helplessness, of losing all control. struggling against an inevitable fate as your lungs fill with water..."
  • "I don't need a piece of paper to tell me how to swim or how to fuck Dean Winchester."
  • "You know I had a dream like this once, you surprisingly had more clothes on, though, at least at the start."
  • "ten bucks says he dies."
  • "I'm gonna go run my feelings off."
  • "Yeah it didn't work out... for them."
  • "I have to go scream confusing, end-of-the-world ramblings at people under the freeway."
  • "I feel like I should argue this, but the potential for implied sexual antics is far too appealing."
  • "do not be alarmed! I am about to be hilarious."
  • "Maybe you should stop dragging me to these rap battles then!"
  • "I WANT YOU TO SHARE THE THINGS IN MY LIFE THAT ARE IMPORTANT TO ME!"
  • "I was under the impression there would be implied sexual antics, time to take matters into my own hands!"
  • "This feels a little exploitative."
  • "I need a soda. Or therapy. Probably both."
  • "Yeah it started because K-pop concert security is tougher than it looks but I just got hooked on the feeling of crushing someones face in with a solid right cross."
  • "sHHSHHshhshhhhh shut up shut up! shh I SMELL BOYS BEING GAY."
  • "Excuse me I am trying to scream my feelings into your mouth!"
  • "That wasn't hot... it was just fucking weird..."
  • "It's not what I would have you in, but I do appreciate beauty in all its many forms. mostly that cute booty though."
  • "hey, the heart wants what the heart wants."
  • "It may be hard to believe, but recently I lost the ability to read."
  • "Just because you can't read the words, doesn't mean you can't enjoy the book in a different way."
  • "boom! done. advice over. let's go get shitfaced!"
  • "Alright I brought the bitch-board for (name)."
  • "Alright let's call it what it is, a sissy paddle."
  • "calm down (name) we weren't talking about your internet search history."
  • "MY SWEET BABY SWAM!"
  • "didn't we make a pact to stop her from doing this weeb shit?"
  • "this better not be anymore or (name)'s weird porn!"
  • "Please call the police, because I look so good in this it should be against the law! uh, don't actually call the police though, I WILL incriminate all of you."
  • "Yeah but didn't they train on those islands where all those teenagers were killed? ...and those witch burnings happened? ...and all that toxic waste was spilled?"
  • "if you die, I get fired and I like this job. people don't ask questions here."
  • "fish-men walk among us. conquerers of land, BORN FROM THE OCEAN--"
  • "I don't need him to make weird pornography, I have prawns for that."
  • "Finally moving out, son? I'd like to say it's been fun. I'd like to. But I won't."
  • "hey check me out! I'm on a bout!"
  • "Sit down and stop making 2009 references!"
  • "nah, I scream enough at the unforgiving void of space."
  • "DON'T STEAL MY BONES!"
  • "You know, the ocean goblin? He lives in the ocean and if you don't brush your teeth he steals your bones."
  • "Ok I'm done for the day. If anyone needs me I'm gonna be in the tent looking at weird porn."
  • "Hey, you miss every ball you don't hit."
  • "You say 'you people' like you're not part of the family. I've got some news for you, you're already on the christmas card."
  • "You think these antics would fly at the german club?"
  • "brush your teeth, kid."
  • "Can you hear it? the ocean... it wants blood."
  • "I'm the best damn shot we've got."
  • "You know, when I was a kid, before my dad got hit by that train, he said, '(name) don't let your friends swim out into the ocean and get stranded on the haunted island of camp kill-a-teen.' and here we are... stranded on the... haunted island of camp kill-a-teen..."
  • "that's fair."
  • "hey tweedle-dee and tweedle-dumbass!"
  • "It's fine, baby, if you get scared you can squeeze my hand."
  • "now let's make like scooby-doo and split up to find a clue."
  • "In 1991 a case was discovered where a man had the remains of over fifteen victims hidden in his apartment, over 40% of which were stored within his refrigerator. do you know how unsanitary that is?"
  • "you're so cute when you never shut up. Now shut up."
  • "all hail decision cube!"
  • "that's when you started walking on the wild side, right?"
  • "I AM NOT SOME PETTY CRIMINAL!"
  • "Does anyone want to hear my tragic backstory?"
  • "Bed? But what about possible axe-murderers?"
  • "And we solved the curse of the island, and realized that the real axe murderer was love, all along."
  • "It was a good night for all of us, let's spend more nights in abandoned lighthouses."
  • "That hottie from the track team is here and I wanna ask politely is he wants to get rowdy in the back of my dad's Prius."
  • "YOU CAN'T CATCH ME GAY THOUGHTS"
8

badass book ladies ♀ eight female dynamics [2/8] cammie, bex, macey & liz { the gallagher girls series by ally carter }

The red velvet curtains were drawn around the tiny alcove, and I was enveloped by an odd sense of peace, knowing that in twenty minutes, the halls were going to be crowded; music was going to be blaring; and I was going to go from being an only child to one of a hundred sisters, so I knew to savor the silence while it lasted.

GALLAGHER GIRLS CLASSIFIED WEEK DAY SIX: united we spy // favorite location -> gallagher academy for exceptional young women

“Women of the Gallagher Academy, who comes here?“ she asked.

Just then, every girl at every table (even the newbies) stood and said in unison, "We are the sisters of Gillian.”

“Why do you come?” my mother asked.

“To learn her skills. Honor her sword. And keep her secrets.”

“To what end do you work?”

“To the cause of justice and light.”

“How long will you strive?”

“For all the days of our lives,”

Meanwhile, a recap on Jon and Sansa's 'unadulterated platonic relationship'
  • S05E07
  • Sansa, after being raped and abused: ...but you are a bastard
  • Ramsay: (this girl never learn does she?) well you know who else is a bastard? Jon Snow
  • Sansa: Jon Snow who?
  • Ramsay: this dumb bitch... Your half-brother!! Remember? He's Lord Commander now. Another bastard rising. Bastards for the win!
  • --
  • S06E04
  • After 84 years... (The first Stark reunion, i sure TF am crying)
  • Jonsa: (intently stares at each other for 30 seconds and the hug™)
  • -
  • Jon: *ACTUALLY STARING AT SANSA*
  • Sansa: *reminisce childhood memories*
  • Sansa: im sorry im an ass to you and havent really treated you as my brother until now
  • Jon: nah. It's not your fault
  • Sansa: i was awful, just admit it
  • Jon: (snorts) well what you gonna do. I was always been a brooder
  • Sansa: can you forgive me?
  • Jon: theres nothing to forgive
  • Sansa; forgive meee : (
  • Jon: okay. :)
  • Sansa: :)
  • Sansa: *tries to be cool by drinking ale, but fails miserably)
  • Jon: (oh shes so cute, my cute little sister)
  • Sansa: okay but real talk where will you go?
  • Jon: me? There's no more 'me'. There's only you and I.
  • Sansa: fine. Where will WE go?
  • Jon: we can't stay here
  • Sansa: Home™. We have to go home.
  • Jon: you crazy?? Boltons are there and i'm tired of fighting.
  • Sansa: that is the wrong attitude, Jon!! We are going home and winning Winterfell, even if it's the last thing I do!!
  • -
  • Jon: *reads 'you traitor bastard', 'rickon is here', 'sansa is my wife'* okay im done
  • Sansa: no go on. *reads basically ramsay being the psychopath that he is* you see my point now?
  • Jon: we have no army to fight
  • Sansa: *the hand hold™* you are father's son. We need to take back what is ours.
  • Jon: okay
  • -
  • S06E05
  • Sansa: the North remembers and they remember the Starks
  • Ser Davos: ok. But Jon is not a Stark.
  • Sansa: but I am. And idc, he IS my father's son.
  • -
  • Brienne: im your sworn shield. Im not gonna leave you here alone w these untrustworthy dudes
  • Sansa: im here w Jon
  • Brienne: jon is ok. He's too dark, but okay. Others, not too much. Esp the bearded-guy. He's so obsessed w me.
  • Sansa: (snorts) but Jon is not others. Jon is my bro. 'Jon is Jon'™. He'll keep me safe. I trust him
  • Brienne: then why the fuck you lyin' to him?
  • -
  • Jon: new dress?
  • Sansa: i made it myself. Did you like it?
  • Jon: i LOVE it!! I mean, the wolf?? The details are so intricate. Such a talented hand!
  • Sansa: awww. Well, good cause i made one for you too. *hands the cloak™* since you're gonna be Ned 2.0, you should dress the part.
  • Jon: thank you, Sansa.
  • Sansa: You're welcome :)
  • Jon: *grins like an idiot* (wtf just happened)
  • -
  • S06E07
  • Lyanna: Bear islands knows no King but the king in the North whose name is Stark. I see no Stark. You're a Snow. And your sister is a Bolton, or a Lannister. Who knows anymore
  • Sansa: hun, the fact that I'm here in one piece and still sane after the idiot mad king Joffrey, and the psychopath sicko Ramsey should speak for myself.
  • Ser Davos: *gives motivational speech*
  • Lyanna: ok. I'll give you 62 o our men
  • Later, Sansa: did we just stand there and get dragged for 62 men?
  • -
  • S06E09
  • Jon: you dont have to be here
  • Sansa: yes, i do.
  • Ramsay: aww. My beloved wife. Ive missed you terribly. Thank you for returning Lady Bolton safely. Now bend the knee.
  • Jon: i think TF not. One on one, you and me.
  • Ramsay: you kidding me? You're the best swordsman in the North, no one is dumb enough to fight you one on one. Whats the point of having an army, if you wont use it?
  • Jon: will your army fight for you if you wont fight for them?
  • Ramsay: oh wow Sansa. You got yourself a fine young man right here. Jon snow, your pride will be the death of your little bro
  • Sansa: how do we know you have him?
  • Ramsay: *throws Shaggydog head*
  • Sansa: oh now you've crossed the line, consider yourself dead tom. *dramatic exit*
  • Ramsay: she's a fine woman, your sister. I look forward to having her back in my bed. ofc you guys are fine too. My dogs are starving for you.
  • -
  • Men talks military strategies.
  • Jon: i want him angry. I want him making a mistake.
  • Sansa: youve met him for 6 seconds and you think you know him. Ive lived w him. I know him. Did it ever occur to you to ask my opinion?!
  • Jon: okay. You're right.
  • Sansa: *rants about Ramsay being manipulative* he's been doing it all his life
  • Jon: hun, i've defended the Wall from Giants and barbaric cannibals with what? 100 people? I think i can handle Ramsay Bolton just fine
  • Sansa: you dont know him
  • Jon: okay. Then tell me. Whats YOUR plan?
  • Sansa: idk!! Dont ask me!! Just dont be stupid
  • Jon: ????
  • Sansa: *continues to tell jon they need more men BUT not telling him they can have the knights of the Vale*
  • Sansa: if Ramsay wins, im not going back there alive
  • Jon: i wont ever let him touch you again. I'll protect you, i promise.
  • Sansa: i'd like to see you try.
  • -
  • Jon: if i die, dont bring me back
  • Red woman: im not your servant
  • Jon: you're in my camp. Im your Commander
  • -
  • Jon: *probably forgets his plan and that he's the Commander, so he stupidly marches front and center to the Boltons*
  • Ser Davos: *waited until Jon Snow is halfway through the battlefield* Go! go!! Follow your stupid commander!!
  • -
  • Ramsay: oh well, since my army is gone. How about i take you up w your offer? One on one?
  • Jon: bitch... *finally beats the crap out of Ramsay but stops when he sees Sansa*
  • -
  • Sansa: Jon. Where is he?
  • --
  • S06E10
  • Jon: im having the Lord's chamber prepared for you.
  • Sansa: you should take it.
  • Jon: no you take it.
  • Sansa: no you!!
  • Jon: 'I'm not a Stark'™
  • Sansa: You are to me.
  • Jon: You're the Lady of Winterfell. You're the reason why we're standing here. You. The knights of the Vale rode for you. Speaking of, you wanna tell me why you never mentioned you have a battalion in your pocket?
  • Sansa: oops. Sorry?
  • Jon: (comes closer) we need to trust each other. *forehead kiss™ that lasted a little longer*
  • -
  • *Sansa sits at the left side of Jon, looking proud as the North names him King in the North*
  • --
  • S07E01
  • Jon: you are my sis but i'm king now. You cant undermine me.
  • Sansa: i cant tell you when youre being an idiot? Bec joffrey--
  • Jon: *shookt* you think i'm like joffrey??
  • Sansa: (softens) no
  • Jon: thank you
  • Sansa: you're good at this
  • Jon: psh. No.
  • Sansa: you areee. They respect you but--
  • Jon: (laughs) everything before the word 'but' is horse shit.
  • Sansa: ok. Whatever. Stop babying me
  • Jon: i'll stop if you stop undermining me.
  • Sansa: i would never!! *grabs hand*
  • Jon: (this girl cant keep her hand to herself)
  • Sansa: i love dad and Robb but they are idiots. And you know what happens to idiots? They die. So dont be an idiot
  • Jon: And how should i be smarter? By listening to you?
  • Sansa: that would definitely be a first.
  • *insert ned/cat parallel here*
  • -
  • Sansa: youre so obsessed w the Night king, you forgot about the Incest queen in the South.
  • Jon: im obsessed w him bec i saw the fantasy shit he has beyond the wall
  • Sansa: hun, the South has their own fuckery. Father underestimated Cersei, that obvs didnt turn out so well
  • Jon: ok but--
  • Sansa: Jon, you've read the Art of War by Ned Stark. I've read the one by Cersei.
  • Jon: Did she sign your copy?
  • Sansa: Yes. I'm her number one stan.
  • -
  • S07E02
  • Jon: *after Sam tells him there is dragonglass in dragonstone which lol Ser Davos DID NOT even mention) i should go to dragonstone.
  • Sansa: Jon 'reckless, stubborn, you know nothing' Snow! What did we talk about being an idiot? Have you forgotten why father fought the mad king in the first place? That girl is dangerous!!
  • Everyone: we need the King in the North in the North!!
  • Jon: North is my home. And i will never stop fighting for it. But we need allies
  • Sansa: you're abandoning me!! You're abandoning our home!! (Stay)
  • Jon: You'll be safe here. I'll leave Ghost to you. And you'll keep everyone safe. Until I return, the North is yours. (This is me trusting you)
  • Sansa: okay.
  • -
  • LF: *blah blah blah*
  • Jon: (oh god. When will he ever stop talking? Is it too much to ask for a moment of silence around here? I just wanna be emo w my homies)
  • Littlefinger: i love Sansa--
  • Jon: (snaps and chokes LF) istg you touch her and i'll kill you myself
  • -
  • LF: so that was a little intense. Oh Cat 2.0!! There you are!! Hellooo!!
  • Jon: *looks back and waves at Sansa before leaving - ala Brienne & Jaime style*
  • Sansa: *ACTUALLY STARES LONGINGLY AT JON*
  • LF: damn. At Ned 2.0? Story of my life, huh?
  • --
  • S07E03
  • Tyrion: And Sansa. Does she miss me terribly?
  • Jon: (i'd be careful of what you say next)
  • Tyrion: well i've never touched her and i was really nice to her
  • Jon: oh good. I mean idc. But that's really great. I'd hate to almost kill you myself. Not that i care.
  • -
  • Jon: *looks like fine snack at the mountain top* i miss home.
  • Tyrion: *subtly ships Jonaerys*
  • Jon: (rolls eyes) you know what's real? The White Walkers.
  • -
  • Bran: *comes back to WF but is cryptic AF*
  • Sansa: i wish Jon were here
  • Bran: and you were so beautiful, in your white wedding dress--
  • Sansa: (kim kardashian voice) if you know how i feel why would u say that like you put me in such an uncomfortable situation like u know im not happy i know im trying to see if it will work out here and i know that its not--
  • --
  • S07E04
  • Arya: jon left you in charge?
  • Sansa: he did. I hope he comes back soon. I remember how stoked he was to see me. We're buddy-buddies now. His heart will probs stop if sees you.
  • -
  • Ser Davos: so you and the Pretty dragon lady.*nudge, nudge* jonaerys is real. I ship it. Bec i saw you look at her direction for .1 second and i know foh shure you are secretly in love w her. I have the receipts.
  • Jon: you're delusional™
  • Theon: Sansa--
  • Jon: (loses his shit) you think i'll be tired of going all batshit crazy over someone mentioning her name?? Your traitorous coward useless ass can choke
  • Ser Davos: (this damn bastard cant keep it together ffs)
  • -
  • S07E05
  • Northerns lords: *kiss ass to Sansa*
  • Sansa: ok thats nice but Jon is our king. Im a loyal ho, you fake ass lords cant relate.
  • -
  • Sansa, probably: Jon I wish you can come back v soon. I miss you. Obviously Ghost does too, remember him? The Northern lords Are bipolar fuckers who are as loyal as fake fans are. Arya and Bran are back but they've gone cray cray. PS. Bran says the undeadz are heading towards the Eastwatch. He has visions now.
  • --
  • S07E06
  • Arya: *hypocritical speech about something that happened 6 seasons ago*
  • Sansa: sis i love u but stfu. Even tho Jon is an idiot, he gives me credit that i deserve. We won Winterfell back because of ME--
  • Arya: 'Sis', idk about you and Jon and but 'I' single-handedly avenged the Red Wedding by wiping the Freys out. But go awf i guess.
  • -
  • Sansa: their loyalty is to Jon. Which is debatable btw. Jon had left me on seenzone for weeks.
  • LF: doesnt matter. He left you in charge. The North likes you
  • Sansa: those lords probably doesnt even know what 'loyalty' is. If they found out about the letter I wrote 6 seasons ago when my character hasnt developed yet, by the time Jon comes back, he'll have no army left
  • LF: ok but Arya is your sister. She wouldn betray you
  • Sansa: she would if she thinks i'm going to betray Jon. Which is never gonna happen.
  • --
  • Meanwhile,
  • Jon: i serve the North
  • Also, Jon: i'd bend the knee but...
Garrett and Marian - Legacy Banters
  • Marian: Well... not quite how I imagined this family reunion going. I was envisioning more hugs and maybe some wine over dinner. Not attempted assassinations
  • Carver: Really? You think this is so abnormal for our family?
  • Marian: Well you got me there
  • ---
  • Bethany: What could our father have to do with this mess? The Carta have had more than enough time to try and find us
  • Garrett: I imagine that having two Champions of Kirkwall with the last name Hawke may have tipped them off
  • Bethany: But it's been three years since you and sis defeated the Arishok. Why wait that long?
  • Marian: Well I don't know about you, but if I was going to go after the people who killed an Arishok then I'd probably want to make a little time for planning, wouldn't you?
  • Carver: Do these morons strike you as the sensible type?
  • Marian: Two points in one day Carver? Don't tell me the Templars are actually drilling some wit into that skull of yours
  • Carver: *laughs* At least /my/ wit makes a point, dear sister
  • Bethany: Ooh, that had to hurt
  • Garrett: Do you need some healing for that one, Marian?
  • Marian: Oh shove off, all of you
  • ---
  • Garrett: And we're back in the Deep Roads
  • Marian: Oh it's not that bad. I mean... Look at all the... Ugh, no, you're right this is terrible. Let's all promise never to go to the Deep Roads after this. Three times is enough
  • Garrett: Three times? When was the second?
  • Marian: Um... well...
  • Carver and Bethany: *sing song voices* Somebody's in trouble
  • ---
  • Bethany: Varric wrote to me the other day
  • Garrett: Telling another of his stories, I bet. Was it the one about the high dragon, because that didn't really-
  • Bethany: No. He was giving me an update. On you, actually. I was... worried, so I wrote to him and asked
  • Garrett: I'm fine Beth. Really
  • Bethany: No you're not. Not yet. But I know you, and if anyone can get past it, you can
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • ---
  • Carver: You might want to be watch yourself, Garrett
  • Garrett: How come?
  • Carver: Ever since you sided with Orsino the other day, there's been... Rumours. Meredith isn't happy with you, and it's only because she allows it that you're still free
  • Garrett: So is she going to have me dragged to the Circle, or is she getting the Brand ready now?
  • Fenris: Don't say that
  • Carver: I would never let it get that far. But I thought I'd warn you, just in case you were thinking about making her mad
  • Garrett: I appreciate you telling me Carver. Don't worry. I'll be careful
  • ---
  • *after completing Malcolm's Will*
  • Marian: So... the stonework down here is... lovely, isn't it?
  • Carver: Not now, Mary
  • Marian: I was only... Alright
  • ---
  • Marian: Are you okay, Gary?
  • Garrett: I'm fine... Just...
  • Marian: He loved you. And Bethany. He'd be so proud of you
  • Garrett: You sound so sure of that
  • Marian: Of course I am. Because it's true. And don't let that nasty shit in your head tell you otherwise - it's a liar, remember
  • Garrett: *chuckles* Alright
  • Bethany: Be careful sister, people might think you've got a heart after all
  • Marian: *dramatically* Oh no! *clutches chest* I think... I think I'm getting feelings! Quick, someone beat them out of me!
  • Carver: *laughs* You be careful what you wish for sister
  • Isabela: I'd rather ride them out of you
  • Garrett: Ah, and there's the dirty line. I was starting to worry something was wrong Bela
  • Isabela: And you're as sweet as ever, Garrett
  • ---
  • Varric: Twenty silvers, that's my final offer. Take it or leave it Elf
  • Marian: What are you betting on, and why am I getting left out of it?
  • Varric: You want in? We're betting on what it'll take to get Junior and Waffles to hug
  • Garrett: *groans* You're not calling me 'Waffles' again, are you?
  • Varric: I have to. Every time I say 'Hawke' all four of you turn around. I'm being considerate
  • Carver: I bet there's /someone/ here who'd like to see him covered in syrup
  • Garrett: Carver!
  • Fenris: *embarrassed noises*
  • Isabela: Ooh, new friend-fiction idea!
  • Garrett: Don't you even dare!
  • Isabela: Too late, already dared. Can we make camp? I need to make notes
  • ---
  • Varric: Hey, Rivaini, I'm expecting royalties if that friend-fiction of yours gets published
  • Carver: When you didn't even come up with it?
  • Varric: You wouldn't have brought up syrup if I didn't call him Waffles
  • Garrett: Maker save me...
  • Bethany: And me...
  • Marian: Usually I like dirty things... But this is too far, even for me
  • Isabela: Are you saying you wouldn't like it if /I/ were covered in syrup?
  • Marian: Oh I'm sorry. I didn't realise you were my very hairy twin brother, Bela
  • Isabela: Well when you put it that way...
  • ---
  • Isabela: I always thought we were the loud ones, you know
  • Fenris: What?
  • Marian: I know right. Maybe they're just less shy about it now
  • Garrett: Do I want to know?
  • Isabela: You already know. Or did you deafen yourself?
  • Marian: To think, they don't need us shouting encouragement through the wall anymore. I'm so proud
  • Isabela: Our boys are growing up so fast. Maybe next they'll master foreplay
  • Carver: Oh Maker, I do not want to hear this
  • Bethany: Neither do I
  • Garrett: *loudly* And I would be very happy if we could stop talking about this. Right now
  • Isabela: Yeah, see. That kind of loud
  • Fenris: *deadpan* If you're so fascinated by Garrett being loud, then you must not be doing a very good job at making Marian scream, Isabela
  • Marian: Oooooooo
  • Isabela: Oh, you snarky little shit
  • Bethany: *loudly* If we could stop discussing my older brother's and sister's sex lives, I would appreciate it
  • Carver: *loudly* Oh look, more darkspawn. Let's kill them so we can stop talking about this
  • ---
  • Marian: So our choices are the nice, Tainted madman, or the mage who wants to let a darkspawn magister out of his hole in the ground? Why can we never make nice decisions, like what kind of wine to have with dinner?
  • Fenris: I agree. It is the only decision worth making
  • Marian: When you're not throwing it at the walls, I assume?
  • Fenris: That was six years ago
  • Marian: And you never offered me a glass
  • Fenris: You are recycling jokes now? Has the great Marian Hawke's wit finally lost it's edge?
  • Marian: Ooh, you are just asking for it now
  • ---
  • Varric: You okay Garrett? You've been a bit quiet since-
  • Garrett: I'm fine Varric. There's more important things to be worried about right now
  • Varric: It's not easy to realise that someone you looked up to wasn't quite what you imagined. You ever need to talk, you know where my suite is
  • ---
  • Isabela: So... is no one going to bring up the fact that Varric called Garrett by his name earlier?
  • Varric: What are you talking about Rivaini? Waffles and I were just having a friendly chat
  • Isabela: Don't bullshit me. You called him Garrett. I heard you
  • Varric: That doesn't sound like me, Rivaini
  • Marian: He called you by your name when Velasco carted you off to Castillon
  • Isabela: What?! No fair, I didn't get to hear!
  • ---
  • Bethany: Are you sure about this, brother?
  • Garrett: It has to be done
  • Bethany: I could do it. I am a Hawke after all, and a mage. You don't need to-
  • Garrett: No, Bethany
  • Bethany: But-!
  • Garrett: Bethy, if I let you use blood magic, I'd never be able to live with myself
  • Bethany: And if you do it, will you be able to live with it?
  • Garrett: I'd rather it be me than you
  • ---
  • Varric: If he pulls a dragon out of his ass, I'm leaving!
  • Marian: Oh great, and now he's almost certain to pull a dragon out of his arse! Way to go Varric
  • ---
  • Bethany: Here, you didn't get a chance to close that wound earlier
  • Garrett: Thank you
  • Fenris: I just hope it was worth it
  • Marian: Well we /did/ just kill a darkspawn magister. I can't wait to hear how Varric tells this one
  • Varric: Well I doubt I'll have to exaggerate a damn thing, considering how weird this shit is
  • Fenris: That isn't what I meant...
  • Garrett: I'd have avoided it if I could, but someone had to. And if it meant sparing my little sister from that...
  • Fenris: I understand. But... Please, just be more careful from now on
  • Garrett: I will, I promise
  • Isabela: You two are so sappy... It's actually rather cute
Ed Sheeran sentence starters
  • "I saw a shooting star and thought of you."
  • "You were lying next to me, I looked across and fell in love."
  • "If you wanna put this on me, that’s fine, I never blamed you for anything at all."
  • "The world looks better through your eyes."
  • "It's only been one night of love and maybe that is not enough."
  • "If I fall for you, would you fall too?"
  • "It's not a homeless life for me, it's just I'm home less than I'd like to be."
  • "I haven't slept for the past week, two hours ain't enough for me."
  • "I'm drunk off last nights whisky and coke."
  • "You can stay with me forever or you could stay with me for now."
  • "Outside the day is up and calling, but I don't have to be so, please go back to sleep."
  • "Never been better since all the therapy."
  • "And you know, if I let you go, I'll still keep you safe."
  • "You are the one I fall asleep with but never wake up to."
  • "The worst things in life come free to us."
  • "I wanna be drunk when I wake up on the right side of the wrong bed."
  • "What didn't kill me, it never made me stronger at all."
  • "I know I'll never hold you like I used to."
  • "I'll be drunk again to feel a little love."
  • "I know you'll never love me like you used to."
  • "I found your hair band on my bedroom floor, the only evidence that you've been here before."
  • "I don't drink like everybody else, I do it to forget things about myself."
  • "There's no chance that we'll work it out."
  • "I said that's fine, but you're the only one that knows I lied."
  • "Everybody said we'd be together forever."
  • "Everything's great and everything's sure, but you live in your halls and I live in a tour bus."
  • "Pain is only relevant if it still hurts."
  • "If I was gonna go somewhere, I'd be there by now."
  • "I should ink my skin with your name."
  • "I should run you a hot bath and fill it up with bubbles."
  • "You should never cut your hair 'cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder."
  • "You will never know just how beautiful you are to me."
  • "Maybe you're hoping for a fairy tale, too."
  • "This is the start of something beautiful."
  • "And it's dark in a cold December, but I've got you to keep me warm."
  • "I'm out of touch, I'm out of love."
  • "I think I love you better now."
  • "Playing a different show every night in front of a new crowd."
  • "Let me sing and do my thing and move to greener pastures."
  • "You need me, man, I don’t need you."
  • "Never be anything but a singer-songwriter, yeah."
  • "People think that I’m bound to blow up."
  • "I haven’t got a house, plus I live on a couch."
  • "They say I’m up and coming like I'm fucking in an elevator."
  • "Settle down with me, and I'll be your safety, you'll be my lady."
  • "I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet."
  • "Give me love like her, 'cause lately I've been waking up alone."
  • "All I want is the taste that your lips allow."
  • "Give me love like never before, 'cause lately I've been craving more."
  • "It's been a while but I still feel the same... maybe I should let you go."
  • "Another love that's gone to waste."
  • "If I kissed you, will your mouth read this truth?"
  • "Darling, how I miss you."
  • "You made me scream, but then I made you cry."
  • "Maybe you should learn to love her like the way you wanna be loved."
  • "I never told her that I liked the way she dances slightly out of time and pretends she knows the words to a song she's never heard."
  • "You’re not her, though I try to see you differently."
  • "I will try to find another one who suited me as well as her."
  • "We never even tried, we never even talked, we never even thought in the long run."
  • "Whenever it was painful, whenever I was away, I’d miss you."
  • "I didn't mean to break your heart."
  • "Everybody falls apart sometimes."
  • "I know you've found another one, but won't you just hold me tonight."
  • "They don't know we don't speak anymore."
  • "I will stop trying to fall in love again... it never works out anyway."
  • "But I am not anything like I was."
  • "I don't wanna lose a lover and friend in one night if that's alright."
  • "I shouldn't have fucked with your mind and your life too many times."
  • "I never meant to sleep around, I was just lonely."
  • "When I see my future, it is with you."
  • "We're not friends, nor have we ever been."
  • "If they find out, will it all go wrong?"
  • "We're not friends, we could be anything."
  • "Friends don't treat me like you do."
  • "Tell me that you turned down the man who asked for your hand 'cause you're waiting for me."
  • "I know, you're gonna be away a while, but I've got no plans at all to leave."
  • "Just promise me, you'll never leave again."
  • "Just promise me, you'll always be a friend."
  • "Everything changes, but we'll be strangers if we see this through."
  • "I've been sat with you for most of the night, ignoring everybody here."
  • "Don't you worry if I disappear."
  • "I'm not really looking for another mistake."
  • "I was never looking for a friend."
  • "Maybe you could swing by my room around ten, baby, bring a lemon and a bottle of gin."
  • "Baby, if you wanted me then you should've just said."
  • "Maybe we'll go together and just figure it out."
  • "Trust and respect is what we do this for."
  • "You didn't need to take him to bed that's all."
  • "I never saw him as a threat until you disappeared with him to have sex of course."
  • "It's not like we were both on tour, we were staying on the same fucking hotel floor."
  • "I wasn't looking for a promise or commitment, but it was never just fun and I thought you were different."
  • "This is not the way you realize what you wanted."
  • "It's a bit too much, too late if I'm honest."
  • "Getting high as two kites when we needed to breathe."
  • "I'd disappear, you'd call me selfish, I understand but I can't help it."
  • "So we can either deal with the pain and wait to get on a plane."
  • "You should go, 'cause I ain't ever coming home."
  • "I've been livin' on the road, but then again you should know."
  • "You won't ever be alone... wait for me to come home."
  • "Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul."
  • "When I'm away, I will remember how you kissed me."
  • "How'd I get so faded?"
  • "I feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream."
  • "I've been looking for a lover, thought I'd find her in a bottle."
  • "I'll be feeling this tomorrow."
  • "You look so wonderful in your dress, I love your hair like that."
  • "We are surrounded by all of these lies and people who talk too much."
  • "You got the kind of look in your eyes as if no one knows anything but us."
  • "All that you are is all that I'll ever need."
  • "Just don’t expect me back this evening."
  • "I love him from my skin to my bones but I don’t wanna live in his home."
  • "I was raised to keep quiet."
  • "I don't wanna hate you."
  • "I kind of knew you liked the dude from private school."
  • "I knew he had his eyes on you."
  • "He's not the right guy for you."
  • "Don't hate me 'cause I write the truth."
  • "I would never lie to you but it was never fine to lose you."
  • "I'm just disgusted with the skeletons you sleep with in your closet."
  • "Fact is you're mad at me because I backtrack so casually."
  • "You're practically my family, if we married then I'll guess you'd have to be."
  • "Tragically our love just lost the will to live, but would I kill to give it one more shot? I think not."
  • "I don't love you, baby, I don't need you... I don't want you anymore."
  • "I'm not cut out for life on the road 'cause I didn't know I'd miss you this much."
  • "I guess I'm not the man that you need."
  • "Ever since you went to uni, I've been sofa surfing with a rucksack full of less cash and I guess that could get bad."
  • "When I broke the industry, that's when I broke your heart."
  • "I was supposed to chart and celebrate, but good things are over fast."
  • "I tend to turn you off and switch on my professional features, then I turn the music off and all I'm left with is to pick up my personal pieces."
  • "Success is nothing if you have no one left to share it with."
  • "I know you have a day job, but mine is 24/7."
  • "I still love you and I need you by my side if I could."
  • "The irony is if my career and music didn't exist, in 6 years, you'd probably be my wife with a kid."
  • "I'll die from a thrill, go down in history as just a wasted talent."
  • "Eventually I'll be fine, I know that it was never meant to be."
  • "These things happen for a reason and you can't change shit."
  • "Take my apology, I'm sorry for the honesty, but I had to get this off my chest."
  • "I will be loving you 'til we're 70."
  • "People fall in love in mysterious ways."
  • "I fall in love with you every single day."
  • "For four years I never had a place to stay."
  • "At 16 years old, I moved out of my home."
  • "I tattooed the lyrics onto my arm."
  • "I'll hold ya and you'll think of him."
  • "I'll never trust you again, you can just be a friend."
  • "If we should die tonight, then we should all die together."
The 100 ways to say 'I love you' femslash edition
  • 1. "I always know when you're lying"
  • 2. "You, kids; I can see it"
  • 3. "You just wake up like that, naturally flawless"
  • 4. "It's fun seeing you like this"
  • 5. "I got a bottle of schnapps and half a rhubarb pie; let's see which one makes us sick first"
  • 6. "I just want to make crazy science with you"
  • 7. "It’s a big cliff, you just have to leap"
  • 8. "I think we're gonna be really fast friends"
  • 9. "We have nothing in common... couldn’t be more different"
  • 10. "You don't deserve any of this, so just put it on me and I'll take it"
  • 11. "You might be nuts but what can I say - you're my kind of crazy"
  • 12. "Sorry I'm late. It's nice to see you"
  • 13. "Maybe I'm going to get my heart broken into a million little pieces, but those are just maybes, and you can't live your life according to maybes"
  • 14. "You said it yourself; this is about us"
  • 15. "So what are we gonna do, gorgeous?"
  • 16. "We're kind of friends, huh?"
  • 17. "Maybe we should just marry each other"
  • 18. "I double dare you; kiss me now"
  • 19. "I'm staying here because I wanna stay here"
  • 20. "Before we get started, I just want you to know, if you're a screamer, feel free"
  • 21. "I want us to be friends; would you like that?"
  • 22. "How will I survive without my best friend?"
  • 23. "I’m not afraid of you"
  • 24. "You don't have to hide from anyone anymore"
  • 25. "What the hell, you want some?"
  • 26. "I'd pick you first"
  • 27. "Would you be surprised to learn you’ve been on my mind?"
  • 28. "It is nice to have you. Here. Have you here."
  • 29. "You should come with me"
  • 30. "It was the only way I could think of to save you"
  • 31. "Don't be afraid"
  • 32. "Who can say if I've been changed for the better but because I knew you, I have been changed for good"
  • 33. "Don't forget me"
  • 34. "The geek speak is working, Doctor"
  • 35. "You need my help"
  • 36. "You are physically flawless"
  • 37. "There's someone in particular that's really worried about you"
  • 38. "I heart you"
  • 39. "I’m not going anywhere"
  • 40. "Sophomore year, I used to sit in this back row and secretly watch you. I counted the number of times you’d smile at me, and I’d die on days that you didn’t"
  • 41. "Any guy would be insanely lucky to go out with you"
  • 42. "I'm under your spell"
  • 43. "I’m not gonna stop trying; even if you still wanna kill me"
  • 44. "When I'm with you I feel like I'm a better person"
  • 45. "May we meet again"
  • 46. "A lot of pressure up there"
  • 47. "Thank you for inviting me"
  • 48. "I promised you once I'd help you get your happy ending"
  • 49. "I'm so glad that I met you"
  • 50. "I just want you to be safe"
  • 51. "You're a celestial body"
  • 52. "Prettiest girl I’ve ever met, but you’re a lot more than that"
  • 53. "You are deceptively complex; I do not understand you"
  • 54. "I’ve been waiting out here all night"
  • 55. "How do you say goodbye to the one person who knows you better than anyone else?"
  • 56. "What do you like to do?"
  • 57. "You certainly know how to make a first impression"
  • 58. "I know you're in there; I can see the light's on"
  • 59. "Were we really friends?"
  • 60. "My gift to you is good memories"
  • 61. "No; I'm not leaving without you"
  • 62. "It’s good to see you again"
  • 63. "Where you go, I'm at your side"
  • 64. "Fuck this guy; so many people are gonna love you"
  • 65. "I never meant to let you down"
  • 66. "In 1698 it might as well have been sex"
  • 67. "I’ll kiss your dumb lips"
  • 68. "You’re so special to me"
  • 69. "I know that was you"
  • 70. "Never thought I'd be so happy to see someone in pain"
  • 71. "I’m going with you"
  • 72. "You're not like anyone I've ever met, in any of my many lifetimes"
  • 73. "I choose you; I will always choose you"
  • 74. "The past doesn’t matter anymore, you’re with me now"
  • 75. "I'll say it when you come back"
  • 76. "You can tell me anything"
  • 77. "I just want you to know you're safe with me"
  • 78. "You made it"
  • 79. "I always made you think your feelings for me were totally one-sided, that wasn’t true; those kisses weren’t just for practice"
  • 80. "You deserve the best of everything"
  • 81. "You’re going to hate me forever and that would just break my heart"
  • 82. "You taking something for the pain?"
  • 83. "Always"
  • 84. "I really want you to come... with me"
  • 85. "Well, if you need anything, I'm around"
  • 86. "You do whatever it takes to protect your family"
  • 87. "I release you"
  • 88. "You're still cute"
  • 89. "I need a favor"
  • 90. "I'm not leaving, friends don't do that to one another"
  • 91. "I have a cure for a headache that doesn't involve coffee"
  • 92. "Hey, look, I hugged you there! Did you see how I hugged you?"
  • 93. "Don't make me climb over this stall; I'll do it but I'll be really pissed"
  • 94. "You're my person"
  • 95. "You should have a muffin; they're really good and they help you"
  • 96. "Dance with me"
  • 97. "You deserve it more than anyone; go, let yourself be loved"
  • 98. "You minx"
  • 99. "You've change me and I am not easy to change"
  • And...
  • 100. "I love you"
more gallagher girls headcanons (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

cammie morgan

  • eventually gets a pet cat named suzie
  • has seen parks and rec one too many times
  • probably really good at field hockey
  • learned all the constellations on her father’s lap in nebraska on summer nights
  • knows all the words to every popular NSYNC song

bex baxter

  • her english accent is not posh at all like have you heard someone from london speak lmao
  • punched a boy who tried to grind on her at a frat party
  • her favorite disney princess is mulan
  • really involved in the black lives matter movement, advocates for diversity in the intelligence world
  • thinks sean connery was the best james bond

liz sutton

  • makes the best goddamn grits you’ve ever tasted
  • is the dorkiest dancer that ever was
  • blushes beet red when bex compliments her what a dumb
  • cries watching children’s movies
  • fiercely, fiercely protective of her friends, probably the most out of the four

macey mchenry

  • went as batman for halloween when she was five
  • pursues the more overt side of the intelligence agency i.e., through politics, government relations
  • spent a summer working at the MAC counter in Macy’s without her parents knowledge
  • likes her parents’ house in DC the best (because it’s near preston whoops)
  • would have 90s romcom movie nights with cam when they lived together

zachary goode

  • played peter pan in the school musical when he was 10, and joe still has the incriminating pictures
  • wore a lot of skinny jeans when he was 14, which catherine 10/10 teased him about
  • he and cammie get married in nebraska i’m crying
  • loved the power rangers so much he wore the red ranger suit for a week straight
  • met grant and jonas because they were all in detention

rachel morgan

  • went to yale. i don’t know why i’m so passionate about this but i am
  • definitely has a green thumb - her beautiful flowers make up for her god awful cooking
  • she and joe have definitely worn matching flannel at some point
  • she’s always gonna love matthew, okay? but you can have more than one soulmate, and she and joe love each other and they love matthew and they’re so happy for once i’m dead
  • likes the spice girls. is that even a headcanon or fact at this point?

joe solomon

  • has drawings from when zach was little all over his cabin refrigerator
  • has a vinyl record player. he doesn’t understand how it’s hipster. he probably listens to hall and oates and bob dylan. 
  • this boy is so self-loathing and so full of guilt? i cry for him at night.
  • he met rachel first. he met rachel before he met matthew, actually. and he was never jealous he was their friend he would never be jealous ugh
  • joined the circle because he was an orphan and he just wanted to be somebody and do something important

abby cameron

  • is a huge runner. has probably ran the new york marathon. idk why i associate abby with jogging but i just do
  • definitely took a gap year before uni/cia shit and just travelled around the world and met so many people and was your average twenty something for once
  • because i think, most of all, of any of them, abby is the one who sometimes wishes she was normal
  • drove townsend crazy with her cravings while she was pregnant
  • owns over 30 pairs of shoes

edward townsend

  • was a scholarship kid. came from a broke af family with eight kids in east london and worked hard to get into eton and cambridge and for everything else in his life
  • loves a good cable knit sweater
  • talks to his siblings frequently, tries to keep up with his ever growing number of nieces and nephews
  • is super vigilant about his health but still got malaria in mozambique anyway
  • once met the queen but was too nervous to say anything what a nerd

catherine goode

  • such a fucking yoga hoe oh my god, always talking about her chi and shavasana and how good her practice was 
  • is a piano prodigy, is obsessed with debussy, practices constantly
  • would have studied astrophysics, like black holes and dark matter, if she wasn’t busy being a terrorist
  • really likes the ocean, probably from growing up on a goddamn island
  • lowkey loved eating zach’s leftover dinosaur chicken nuggets
10

Episode of the Week - 2x16: The Boneless Bride in the River

4

Books From My Teens:

Gallagher Girls

  • Alycia Debnam Carey as Cammie Morgan
  • Victoria Moroles as Macey McHenry
  • Samantha Logan as Bex Baxter
  • Nell Tiger Free as Liz Sutton
The 1975 sentence starters
  • "Don't call it a fight when you know it's a war."
  • "Go sit on the bed because I know that you want to."
  • "You've got pretty eyes, but I know you're wrong."
  • "Get in the shower if it all goes wrong."
  • "I swear there's a ghost."
  • "I feel like I'm just treading water."
  • "I love the house that we live in."
  • "I love you all too much."
  • "I've got a woman now."
  • "This one's on the house."
  • "It all tastes the same, but there's something different about your mouth."
  • "You try chasing dreams, it's harder than it seems."
  • "Stick another pill in my head and go to bed."
  • "We're not doing it again, so leave it."
  • "I wanna see you, but you're not mine."
  • "You think we're doing it again, keep dreaming."
  • "Yeah my shirt looks so good, when it's just hanging off your back."
  • "She's got a boyfriend anyway."
  • "All we seem to do is talk about sex."
  • "He's got a funny face, but I like that 'cause he still looks cool."
  • "Does he take care of you or could I easily fill his shoes?"
  • "If we're gonna do anything we might as well just fuck."
  • "And you're a liar, at least all of your friends are."
  • "It's my party and I'll cry to the end."
  • "You must try harder than kissing all of my friends."
  • "You're alive, at least as far as I can tell you are."
  • "And it's not my fault that I fucked everybody here."
  • "Do you wanna dance?"
  • "It's no fun if you've only a bottle of wine."
  • "Yeah, I want you."
  • "I'm so high, I think I love you."
  • "I was thinking about leaving again, it all depends."
  • "Are we just friends?"
  • "We go where nobody knows."
  • "Oh, my hair smells like chocolate."
  • "Stop looking at my friends."
  • "Write another song about your friends."
  • "I love you, don't you mind."
  • "I think I've lost a lot of my friends."
  • "Well fuck me if you must then."
  • "Treat me like an old friend."
  • "I'm not scared."
  • "I used to think you're cool and I believed you had a wonderful vision."
  • "I was always looking for a way to get out."
  • "You just write about sex and killing yourself and how you hardly ever went to school."
  • "I'm falling for you."
  • "Maybe you'll change your mind."
  • "I'll take you one day at a time, soon you will be mine."
  • "Do you fancy sitting down with me? Maybe?"
  • "I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your neck."
  • "I can't believe that we're talking about him."
  • "Why do you talk so loud?"
  • "I think you're trying too hard."
  • "I've been thinking lots about your mouth."
  • "I forgot to call you."
  • "I remember that I like you, no matter what I found."
  • "It's nice to have your friends round."
  • "It's just you and I tonight."
  • "Gotta love the way you love yourself."
  • "You got something to say? Why don't you speak it out loud, instead of living in your head?"
  • "I don't seem to be having any effect now."
  • "I guess I'll never learn 'cause I stay another hour or two."
  • "You know I can't be found with you."
  • "I'm so fixated on the girl with the soft sound and hair all over the place."
  • "You're cold and I burn."
  • "She had a face straight outta magazine."
  • "Babe, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay."
  • "I'll give you one more time."
  • "You've got a pretty kind of dirty face."
  • "Babe, you look so cool."
  • "What's the fun in doing what you're told?"
  • "I could persuade you."
  • "I'm not your typical, stoned 18 year old."
  • "Girl, I'm not your savior."
  • "They're just girls."
  • "One moment I was tearing off your blouse, now you're living in my house."
  • "What happened to just messing around?"
  • "You just sit and get stoned with 30 year olds and you think you've made it."
  • "Well, shouldn't you be fucking with somebody your age?"
  • "I told you from the start, I'll break your heart."
  • "She's definitely got the style."
  • "I'd like to say you've changed, but you're always the same."
  • "I'd love you to stay but that's simply insane."
  • ""Well, I think I'll say a couple of words if you don't mind..."
  • "You've seen so many faces that I've never seen before."
  • "We're never gonna lie to you."
  • "I know it's me that's supposed to love you."
  • "Is there somebody who can love you?"

ur-favorite-pincushion  asked:

I'll be at work at 6pm, so I can't ask then :'( I'd actually be really interested seeing more things abut Shino Aburame. I also enjoy Ibiki Morino (don't judge me too hard plz.) For Shino I'd like to hear your take on what it would be like to have sex as a member of the Aburame clan. Their bodies aren't only theirs, so I've always wondered. Also, Shino is my waifu5ever <3 As for Ibiki, I feel like he'd be into S&M. Especially as the head of torture and interrogation. So... Sub vs. Dom Ibiki?

Yeeeeeah baby! First request and I hope I didn’ disappoint. Sorry you had to be my first, @ur-favorite-pincushion, but I had to pop the cherry somehow. Put a lot of thought into this one cuz I didn’ know if ya wanted a generalization of the clan itself or just some Shino headcanons. There ain’t enough love for this bug boy, I can tell ya that right now. Ibiki, what a man what a man, was another challenge cuz I got conflicted on it. I don’t see him just being satisfied with *just* S&M, so I went a bit deeper. Still, had fun, and the first time is always the hardest, right? Feedback is always appreciated! Hope you like it! <3

Shino NSFW and Ibiki BDSM Headcanons

Originally posted by temariiz

SHINO ABURAME

• If you’re inquiring whether or not the bugs stay in his body or not, then don’t worry, they do. Unless that’s your thing in which case you may make Shino lose whatever erection he had just so he can tell you the common mating habits of his bugs. You might even forget that they’re in there just, chillin’. So, basically, just don’t mention the bugs until after the hard love-making session just to avoid the risk of killing the vibe and getting a nude entomology lesson. It’s not as sexy as it sounds.

• A lot of the time it is you initiating sex. It takes work to seduce bug-boy but dang, is it worth it. Your first plan of attack should be wearing clothes with a softer, smooth texture to them like silk. Loves the smoothness. Wearing earthy colors and even just wearing comfortable clothes that show off some leg will get his attention. You know you have it when you walk by him and his head follows you. Another, more recent discovery, is perfume. Floral scents. That gets him buzzing. Nothing overbearing, but light and flowery leaves him shook. Walk to the bedroom and he’ll be bound to follow you.

• In accordance to scent, different perfumes will garner different reactions. Some make him more ‘affectionate’, like holding your hand or kissing just under your ear when in private. All in private of course. Others tend to make him heady and maybe a little handsy. It, at this point, shouldn’t come as a surprise that he enjoys the smell of sex. The muskiness of it just relaxes him after the act. Just be careful with the perfume thing, otherwise he’ll be picking your shampoo so you can smell like a damn meadow. Your original shampoo and conditioner will conveniently be replaced with whatever he chose.

Originally posted by blackspringwhite

IBIKI MORINO

• First, you have to build up to this point in your sex life before he even considers it. He plays games with you already in bed that leaves you aching and trembling without the whole (BD)SM factor built in. It’s the little things, y'know? For instance, teasing and edging, and if you are up for it, sensation play. Anything that gets you riled up and begging is fun for him. Hell, you getting pissed is almost downright hilarious for him, not that you’d be able to tell from his stony face. Slowly, ever so slowly, you’ll both work up to a point where he sits you down across from him and it honestly feels like you are being interrogated.

• Deadass serious, he’ll ask if you wanted to try some venturing into BDSM territory, and if you’re eager and enthusiastic, he will look a little softer before his face hardens again. Now, you may wonder why the hell he’s not whipping you the next session of sex and only bringing handcuffs, Ibiki will scoff. Tells you it’s something you build up. After that new round of sex and some aftercare, he tells you he made an appointment to bring you to a seminar that helps teach beginners. Listen, BDSM is psychologically a hard, fun thing to do and it has to be done right down to the flogs. Ibiki is a sadist, but he won’t push beyond what you want to try. There is a HUGE difference between a doeskin flog and a latigo flog, so seminars will help you understand that this isn’t something you can just nose dive into. He will emphasize multiple safewords and gestures, and scenes will always be discussed before and after the act. There’s no spontaneous s&m scenes, Ibiki doesn’t believe in those. He also doesn’t care for being called ‘Sir’ or ‘Master’ or 'Mister’. Calling him by his name is just as fine

• Aftercare is super important, and he’ll ask (interrogate) you on how you’re feeling, what you want to drink, how good you were, etc. He’s thorough in cleaning you up, and it’s one of the rarer times he’ll let you snuggle up on him.

• Psychologically speaking, Ibiki isn’t always comfortable with mixing his work and home life. Preferably he’d rather keep the two seperate, so you’ll have to learn that he isn’t always in the best headspace to be doing any type of super kinky stuff in the bedroom. He knows himself very well in the fact that if he’s not in the right head space he won’t be tying you up. If you insist, he’ll scowl at you and retire to bed. So, don’t push him.

era-penn  asked:

I don't know if you're taking prompts rn, but I've had a rough week so I thought I'd ask - any chance I can get some fluffy Rhodey/Tony (bros or slash fine) or dad!Stark with Peter? I'd love anything, but if you want a more specific prompt, I've got a dialogue one: "Do you think they remember you?" "I sure hope not, after what I did the last time I was here."

I’m so sorry this is so late? I was having a rough week at the time too, and things have only just recently gotten to the point where I don’t feel complete apathy about fandom things? I hope things got better for you! :)

I did like the dialogue one - I had some vague ideas for that and dad!Stark with Peter lol - but this turned out a bit of the first two more than that. Hope you like it!

—-

“You’re telling me we’ve basically adopted a kid,” Rhodey responded after listening to Tony vent about Parker for a good hour.

“No, of course not. I’m not even mentoring him, really,” Tony denied. “Just, I figured he needed a better suit, like I said. And then he was in over his head, and then he was obviously - he was going to get himself killed, I refuse to help him with that.”

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gallagher girls headcanons because why not (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

edward actually hates early grey tea but he has a refined british aesthetic to uphold so he deals with the bitterness and absorbs it into his bitter soul and abby thinks it’s hilarious

abby meanwhile has the most complicated, white girl™ starbucks order that takes longer to say than it does to make. she lives for seasonal drinks, and is first in line the day they start making pumpkin spice lattes again

zachary goode had an emo phase, fight me on this. he definitely listened to my chemical romance and pierce the veil and panic! at the disco and said things like, “no one understands me” and slammed the door and who am i kidding zachary goode is still in his emo phase. 

liz got her pixie cut after coming out as part of a transformation of sorts to be more comfortable with herself and bex loves it and compliments her on it like, “looking good, lizzie” and liz blushes like a dork

bex and grant are the KINGS of beer pong. watch out when they decide to go against each other, it’s the sporting event of the season. like, “the only thing i’ll be waving is your decapitated head on a stick in front of your weeping mother!” “good lord, bex.”

bex is also a memelord bye

joe puts up this whole mysterious, tough guy front but he is the biggest nerd of them all. like, all that boy wants to do is fish. he never wanted to lose his best friend and join a terrorist group and get put in a coma. he just wanted to live in his cabin and play board games and watch star wars or something and FISH leave the boy alone

“morgan townsend…you were named after my sister’s husband. your cousin, cammie, was named after me and her own mother i know it’s complicated okay don’t think about it too much”

her entire first year at gallagher, macey slept with a stuffed animal that she hid under her bed at night. she thought no one knew about it, but the other girls did and washed it and never made fun of it because macey is all gooey on the inside though she doesn’t act like it. she tries to act like buttercup but she’s such a fucking bubbles omg

cammie makes the dumbest jokes of all like…dad joke level jokes. she 10/10 got it from matthew like. “god, i’m exhausted, this mission is killing me.” “hi exhausted, i’m cammie!” “cammie for the love of GOD why do you keep doing this”

catherine wears big thick glasses when she reads that make her look like a hipster which she hates but she really can’t see, okay? she just wants to read her mystery novels without getting headaches. when she forgets to put her contacts in, she literally is tripping over her own two feet. ((she also unironically likes EDM and probably says things like “sounds fake but okay” because she knows what the cool kids are in to, okay? She’s not a regular mom, she’s a cool mom.))

if gallagher girls were at ilvermorny, abby and bex would be in thunderbird, zach, macey, and catherine would be in wampus, rachel, liz, and townsend would be in horned serpent, and cammie, matthew, and joe would be in pukwudgie