i'd read these

if you rb this you're blocked. this is your first and only warning.

after having quite possibly one of the worst nightmares ever short of just straight up reliving past trauma in dream form, i think i finally figured out what has been bothering me all this time. this may be the first step to solving the problem, or it could be the beginning of a lot more nightmares to come.

in the nightmare i had during my unfortunate 5 hour nap this afternoon, 3 distinct things happened: my parents got back together (and i was at the wedding ceremony with my brother), my cat was kidnapped at the reception because my dad wouldn’t let me hold onto her, and my parents found out about my girlfriend and forced me to break up with them so i could be with some disgusting man. those may seem like relatively unconnected events, but they all tie into a bigger picture that’s been gnawing away at my psyche for quite some time now.

in the first part of the dream, my dad was visibly drunk and obnoxious, bragged about his 5 year old son with his second family all through the vows (which uh…..isn’t a real thing he has irl), and my mom was complacent in all of it. i couldn’t figure out how or why she would put up with that, especially after all he’d done (both irl and what he’d been doing in the dream so far). getting away from my dad was the biggest source of freedom and empowerment my mom and i experienced, and here in this dream, she was throwing it all away because she honestly believed no one would ever love her again. now i know she wouldn’t make a decision that horrible in real life, but i do worry about her quite a bit because she has such a low sense of self worth that she’d tolerate far more bullshit than she deserves just to not be alone. that’s what was personified in that part of the dream, and it scared the crap out of me.

in the second part, my cat was kidnapped because i had to take her to the reception but had no one to watch her. she wasn’t allowed on stage so i put her carrier on a table and when i came back, both her and the carrier were gone. this part accentuated my fear of losing control and put it in the spotlight for me to see firsthand. my cat isn’t just a beloved animal i look after and care for, she’s also a symbol of me gaining adulthood, independence, and freedom—especially from my family, and particularly my dad. the fact that his thoughtlessness and irresponsibility were indirectly responsible for her getting kidnapped in the dream shows at least that much of what she overall represents and means to me.

finally, there was the part where my parents found out about seven and forced me to break it off because they had some bland faceless white dude lined up and ready to marry me. yes, the comphet demon is back. if i’ve ever told you about my other nightmares, you’d know at this point that this is hardly the first time i’ve had my deep anxiety about this fully realized in dream form. the issue this time is that it wasn’t just an isolated dream that started and ended there. it was connected to the overarching plot of the other two passages, and the fact that i had just blindly accepted the marriage despite deep down knowing it was wrong and went against everything i wanted was what scared me the most. i spent a good half of the dream sobbing over being forced to leave my girlfriend, but only AFTER i had been married off to this random guy. it was like the pain and torment of losing my freedom only finally caught up to me after it was too late.

and that’s where the common theme comes in—i have a deep fear of losing control of my life because so far, control has been the only thing that allowed me to get through everything i did. i worry about my mom because she went through so much of the same crap that i did, and seeing her lose control like that too (especially in the framework of heteropatriarchy) killed me before the rest of the dream was even set into motion. the rest of those events—from losing my cat to my girlfriend to any remaining shred of autonomy and happiness i had left—just verified what this was about all along. i can’t lose control ever again.

i’ve read 35-40% of all legends books, so current goal: get that up past 50% by the end of the year, then finish all star wars novels by the time episode ix comes out


Les Misérables (1862) but if Lemony Snicket was the author

to Enjolras–darling, dearest, dead.

Chapter One

If you’re seeking a story whose tragic beginning is followed by a less-tragic middle and an inevitably uplifting denouement, this book should be avoided at all costs. The approximately six hundred and fifty-five thousand words that are about to follow contain the tales of several bright and brave young people who each meet an unfortunate end and several less-bright, less-young people, including myself, who unfortunately survive to recount the events. “Unfortunate” is a word which here means “luckless” and “miserable”, the latter definition having been used for the title of this novel, designed to dissuade you, the misguided reader, from continuing past the cover page.

There are other techniques I have employed in this book that are designed to stop you from yourself becoming miserable by reading this story in its entirety. Firstly, the physical novel, which as you may notice shares the same dimensions and weight as a standard housing brick, for the utmost inconvenience. Secondly, I have included several hundred pages of information which are both uninteresting and have little bearing on the grander story in the meager hope that you will come to your senses and place this novel back on your shelf or better, in a lit fireplace, where I solemnly believe it belongs. 

For example, the use of candlesticks. The word “candlestick” is derived from the purpose of the item itself, that is an object, most often metal, commonly silver, in which one can stick a candle. Many dictionaries define “candlestick” as  “an often ornamental holder for securing a candle or candles”. “Candleholder” is another, less commonly used word for “candlestick”. Candlesticks come in a variety of forms and sizes, and can contain a variety of numbers of candles often demarcated by their names-a “trikirion” contains three candles and a “menorah” contains seven. If you have had the fortitude-a word which here means “strength of mind”-to make it this far through this dull paragraph, it may be of some note to say that the candlesticks with which we concern ourselves in this story are single candlesticks, that may each contain one candle. 

Thirdly, not only have I named the main character in a redundant manner-Jean Valjean-I have decided to tell you here that Jean Valjean perishes on the final page of this novel. That is my story’s conclusion.

With all this information in mind, and having the ending already known, I now give you my final warning and pleading suggestion to forget about this book. Put it down. Hide it away. Bury it in a cemetery late at night with the assistance of a man named Fauchelevant. Forget it ever existed. For now the story must begin.

It begins in a town called Digne, on a grey and dreary night under the roof of a very kind but elderly and poor man, the bishop of the town, whose name was Myriel.

  • Slytherin: There's this really great show I think you should check out!
  • Ravenclaw: Okay, I will.
  • Slytherin: *three years later* Oh, did you like that show by the way?
  • Ravenclaw: Oh, I haven't started it yet.
  • Slytherin: Are you fucking kidding me?

I’m not a big one on—I don’t know what to call it—getting all glamorous. I don’t really worry about my looks, and I don’t worry about getting old. Exterior beauty doesn’t mean a lot to me. I mean, sure I like to look nice—sometimes. This is going to contradict all the pictures with the interview, because I’m very glammed out. I’m a total hypocrite.

“Are you introducing children to the occult?” said Madam Frout suspiciously. This sort of thing caused a lot of trouble with parents, she was well aware.
“Oh yes.”
What? Why?”
“So that it doesn’t come as a shock,” said Miss Susan calmly.
“But Mrs. Robertson told me that her Emma was going around the house looking for monsters in the cupboards! And up until now she’s always been afraid of them!”
“Did she have a stick?” said Susan.
“She’d got her father’s sword!”
“Good for her.”

– on Miss Susan’s teaching methods | Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

Important OMGCP information!!!

I live in samwell. like, obviously not actually, but my town is exactly where samwell is on the map. i have noticed some things that people don’t rlly know are real things, so i decided to make a list
- andover is a real school. most ppl i know refer to it as phillips, but there’s also exeter which is also phillips so ????? it’s a hella nice private boarding school in andover.
- stop n shop is a supermarket and there are So Many of them it makes sense that there’s murder stop n shop and smelly stop n shop
- it’s honestly not that weird that nursey is always surrounded by leaves like as a person who is a Mess when there r leaves on the ground there r leaves on my body bc they stick to ur hair and ur clothes like mad
- probably everyone thinks the haus is haunted bc legit everywhere around here has at least one place where ppl swear there r ghosts - okay that’s it for now small town ppl feel free to add shit if u want bye