i'd read these

anonymous asked:

What do you say to those who claim that the communists in pre-Nazi Germany only popularized the fascists by attacking them, and that the best way to combat fascism is to debunk everything they say from a distance?

I’d say, “You’re full of shit, Joe, and you’d better hope that my solar catapult prototype doesn’t work because I’m gonna use it to launch you into the sun.”

3

Throwback to the 2nd ever MM fanart I did with this…because I find it highly relevant right now.

Concept:
Les Misérables (1862) but if Lemony Snicket was the author

Example:
to Enjolras–darling, dearest, dead.

Chapter One

If you’re seeking a story whose tragic beginning is followed by a less-tragic middle and an inevitably uplifting denouement, this book should be avoided at all costs. The approximately six hundred and fifty-five thousand words that are about to follow contain the tales of several bright and brave young people who each meet an unfortunate end and several less-bright, less-young people, including myself, who unfortunately survive to recount the events. “Unfortunate” is a word which here means “luckless” and “miserable”, the latter definition having been used for the title of this novel, designed to dissuade you, the misguided reader, from continuing past the cover page.

There are other techniques I have employed in this book that are designed to stop you from yourself becoming miserable by reading this story in its entirety. Firstly, the physical novel, which as you may notice shares the same dimensions and weight as a standard housing brick, for the utmost inconvenience. Secondly, I have included several hundred pages of information which are both uninteresting and have little bearing on the grander story in the meager hope that you will come to your senses and place this novel back on your shelf or better, in a lit fireplace, where I solemnly believe it belongs. 

For example, the use of candlesticks. The word “candlestick” is derived from the purpose of the item itself, that is an object, most often metal, commonly silver, in which one can stick a candle. Many dictionaries define “candlestick” as  “an often ornamental holder for securing a candle or candles”. “Candleholder” is another, less commonly used word for “candlestick”. Candlesticks come in a variety of forms and sizes, and can contain a variety of numbers of candles often demarcated by their names-a “trikirion” contains three candles and a “menorah” contains seven. If you have had the fortitude-a word which here means “strength of mind”-to make it this far through this dull paragraph, it may be of some note to say that the candlesticks with which we concern ourselves in this story are single candlesticks, that may each contain one candle. 

Thirdly, not only have I named the main character in a redundant manner-Jean Valjean-I have decided to tell you here that Jean Valjean perishes on the final page of this novel. That is my story’s conclusion.

With all this information in mind, and having the ending already known, I now give you my final warning and pleading suggestion to forget about this book. Put it down. Hide it away. Bury it in a cemetery late at night with the assistance of a man named Fauchelevant. Forget it ever existed. For now the story must begin.

It begins in a town called Digne, on a grey and dreary night under the roof of a very kind but elderly and poor man, the bishop of the town, whose name was Myriel.

  • Slytherin: There's this really great show I think you should check out!
  • Ravenclaw: Okay, I will.
  • Slytherin: *three years later* Oh, did you like that show by the way?
  • Ravenclaw: Oh, I haven't started it yet.
  • Slytherin: Are you fucking kidding me?

“Are you introducing children to the occult?” said Madam Frout suspiciously. This sort of thing caused a lot of trouble with parents, she was well aware.
“Oh yes.”
What? Why?”
“So that it doesn’t come as a shock,” said Miss Susan calmly.
“But Mrs. Robertson told me that her Emma was going around the house looking for monsters in the cupboards! And up until now she’s always been afraid of them!”
“Did she have a stick?” said Susan.
“She’d got her father’s sword!”
“Good for her.”

– on Miss Susan’s teaching methods | Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

2

I’m not a big one on—I don’t know what to call it—getting all glamorous. I don’t really worry about my looks, and I don’t worry about getting old. Exterior beauty doesn’t mean a lot to me. I mean, sure I like to look nice—sometimes. This is going to contradict all the pictures with the interview, because I’m very glammed out. I’m a total hypocrite.

So I decided to gather all the ‘hobby’ dialogue from the Darkest Dungeon files. It seems to be an unused string of camping dialogue, but offers some interesting insight into the characters. I’ve just put them in the order they appear in:

Bounty Hunter

  • “A little time to reflect on my strategies.”
  • “Hold this apple on your head. Now stand still.”
  • “I will practice. Train. A professional adheres to a regimen.”

Crusader

  • “Shhh! I am praying!”
  • “Go away! I am reading my Versebook!”
  • “No, I’ll not play dice with you! I am studying the Verses!”

Grave Robber

  • “You – idle one! Hold my yarn!”
  • “Yes, I carve tiny tombstones. Mementos of my exploits.”
  • “These stab holes will simply not do! Where’s my needle and thread?”

Hellion

  • “Bet none of you can throw a knife as well as I. Eh?”
  • “Wrestle me. I crave an easy victory. (grin)”
  • “I am learning to read. It is a rare skill among my kind.”

Highwayman

  • “… with the night for his throne?” Hmm… tricky.“
  • ”… and he always came home?“ … No, no…”
  • “… like a dog to a bone?” … Still not right!“

Jester

  • "It’s called juggling. You never been to a circus?”
  • “What do I do for fun? You’re joking, right?”
  • “I’m practicing my sneering. Pretty good, huh?”

Leper

  • “Here we sit, the calm in the eye of the storm.”
  • “I must be cautious when stretching my ligaments, lest they tear, of course.”
  • “Pass this pipe around. The smoke dulls the senses.”

Occultist

  • “Why, I am documenting the journey, of course. Care to read?”
  • “Some quiet, please. I am on the verge of breaking the cypher.”
  • “Sigh… it is too dark to study my rituals here.”

Plague Doctor

  • “Some bark of aspen? Or maybe boiled cerato leaf? Hmm…”
  • “Hold that wound still. My sketch is nearly done.”
  • “May I lance that boil? The pus is intriguingly gray!”

Vestal

  • “Busy yourself elsewhere. I am praying for your soul.”
  • “Yes, I shave my legs. What of it?”
  • “Have you thread? I’ve torn a seam in my temple garments.”

Man-At-Arms

  • “Leave me to reflect on the day’s battles.”
  • “How did that one blow slip past my guard..? I must think…”
  • “I learned to carve during the lulls of the Cyprian campaign.”

Arbalest

  • “Put this apple on your head and close your eyes.”
  • “I will stick with you until wanderlust strikes again.”
  • “Dice? What’s the wager?”

Houndmaster

  • “…and that’s when I learned the hound could sing!”
  • “Cooking meat robs it of its nutrifying essence.”
  • “It is certain that anyone in politics has been corrupted in some fashion or another.”

Abomination

  • “I only ever had time for my crucible and scrolls.”
  • “Oh I’ve loved before, but all were forgotten in the laboratory.”
  • “Care to see my drawings for a mechanical hand?”

Musketeer 

  • “My father can reload a musket as quick as a wink!”
  • “When we return, I am certain the club will initiate me”
  • “Whoever smells like that should die of shame and disgrace”