i'd like to imagine this is what

i imagine lance flirting with keith would be like
  • Lance: I like your new pants!
  • Keith: Thanks, they were 50% off!
  • Lance: I'd like them better if they were 100% off ;)
  • Keith: The store can't just give away clothes for free.
  • Lance: That's.. not what I meant.
  • Keith: that's a terrible way to run a business, Lance
theatre people as john mulaney quotes
  • Actors: You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair.
  • Director: In terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin.
  • Sound techs: The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.
  • Light techs: No one knows what you're talking about, you idiot!
  • Stage manager: You ever have those days where something happens and you're like... whatever, this may as well happen?
  • Assistant stage manager: I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.
  • Stage crew: I am very small, and I have no money. You can imagine the kind of stress I'm under.
  • Set builders: This is an on-fire garbage can. ...Could be a nursery.
  • Props department: Because it's the one thing you can't replace.
  • Costume department: Hi, I'm very gay, and I'd like a few dollars.
  • Makeup people: I don't look older. I just look worse.
  • Publicity team: You know how you lie to your parents?
  • Budget board: Eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs.
  • Audience: I'm really sorry about last night, it's just that I'm mean and loud.

Life goal; sleep on Ashton, play w his hair, kiss his face and make him v happy all day ery day

Imagine your OTP...

Person B is in a poorly lit room, eating their lunch, when their lover/crush, Person A, enters the room and notices B.

Person A : It’s so dark in here, how can you eat there ? Nobody likes eating in the dark !

Person B : Depends on what you’re eating *smiles*

we also need to talk about what magnus’ spellbook implies which is that he’s singlehandedly created hundreds if not thousands of spells and that these are spells unique to him. meaning he’s the only one who can both cast and undo them, except for what he may have chosen to share to a select few. and that these are likely the spells warding the Institute, but not only that, the Clave is probably relying on many other spells he’s created.

basically what i’m saying is magnus bane has the greatest insurance policy ever because if he goes, all of his spells go with him.

anonymous asked:

This is kinda random but this idea has been stuck in my head: what if mc just liked to go out and sit on the roof at night to look at the stars and one night their s/o catches them (I'd imagine Jumin would flip his Shit tbh)

need some cute ass fluff in my life so im doing this sorry


  • when he first finds MC, he doesnt say anything
  • he just stares at them, smiling
  • god, i am so lucky
  • how can just the mere sight of someone make me so, so happy?
  • i swear to god, i’ll never get tired of this view…
  • “hey there, cutie. you looked cold”
  • Yoosung sits down beside MC, wrapping his arms around them along with a blanket
  • they’re both inside the blanket together, snuggling on the roof while MC stares up at the stars and Yoosung looks mostly at them
  • he rests his head on MC’s shoulders and closes his eyes, soaking up the moment with them
  • “Yoosung? you’re not gonna fall asleep, are you?”
  • as Yoosung answers he wraps both arms around MC, smiling and breathing in the night air deeply
  • “so what if i do? even sleeping on the roof is warm with you~”
  • MC giggles a little and pulls the blanket over him more, resting their head on his


  • he sees MC and instantly has to join them
  • “hey baby, whatchya doin?”
  • he would catch them by surprise and talk in a cute voice
  • “oh, Zen! i was just looking up at the stars…”
  • “do you care if i join you?”
  • MC scoots over and pats the space next to them
  • “of course not!”
  • so Zen climbs out to the roof and sits next to MC, putting an arm around them and rubbing their arm in an attempt to warm em up
  • him and MC look up at the sky together in silence for some time before Zen decides to turn his attention to MC
  • after a few seconds of staring, they turn to look at Zen, too
  • “what is it?”
  • Zen looks into their eyes for a second of two, smiling, and leans forward to kiss them
  • MC can feel the smile in his kiss, and shudders a little when his hand touches their face
  • “nothing, i just wanted to do that” Zen says almost mater-of-factly through his smile, then turns back to the night sky
  • MC gets all flustered even though kissing Zen is something they do all the time, and he pulls them closer, running his fingers through their hair


  • as soon as she sees MC, she runs into her room to grab a jacket
  • “MC, what are you doing on the roof? do you need a jacket?”
  • Jaehee awkwardly climbs on the roof and drapes the jacket over their shoulders
  • “i was just looking at the stars, Jaehee! sorry if i worried you…”
  • “im just worried about you getting sick”
  • “i know, i know…”
  • they sit in silence for a few moments before Jaehee speaks up again
  • “you know, they way you look at the night sky is quite endearing”
  • MC feels warm suddenly
  • “r-really?”
  • Jaehee scoots closer to MC, wrapping an arm around them
  • she quickly pecks their cheek before looking up at the stars again
  • “really”


  • oh my god, what is MC doing out there?!
  • they’re going to catch a cold like that!
  • “darling? why are you on the roof at this time of night? and in your pajamas?”
  • when MC turns their face is red, and they nervously pushing some loose hairs behind their ear
  • “oh, J-Jumin! i was just looking up at the starts…they’re so pretty tonight”
  • Jumin’s heart softens with MC’s words, and his concerned look instantly melts into a smile
  • “well if they’re as pretty as you say, i’d like to see them myself”
  • this is where Jumin Han, still wearing his suit, awkwardly climbs onto the roof through the window
  • MC giggles as they watch him
  • “okay, im here”
  • “finally”
  • Jumin tries to fix his hair, smirking at MC in response to their joke
  • he takes off his suit jacket and drapes it over MC’s shoulders
  • he sits next to MC, hugging his knees as they stare up at the night sky
  • as much as he wants to join them, he just cant take his eyes off of MC for even a second
  • “Jumin! you arent even looking up!”
  • “hmm?”
  • he hadnt even realized he was staring
  • he reaches out, pulling MC close to him and wrapping an arm around their shoulder
  • “i guess i just love the way the stars look reflected in your eyes”
  • as Jumin pulls MC in, he places a soft, warm kiss on their cheek, then nestles his head into their neck
  • the sensation tickles MC a bit, but they just kiss his head and continue to look up at the stars


  • “come here often?”
  • when MC turns toward the window they see Seven leaning out of it, his arm resting on the window sill
  • “only when there arent any clouds”
  • Seven climbs onto the roof as if he’s done it a million times
  • “i like to come out here too, but mostly just to get away from you”
  • MC smiles and playfully pushes on Seven’s arm 
  • Seven responds by wrapping both arms around MC and pulling them in between his legs
  • he unzippes his jacket, then zips it back up around the both of them, hugging MC from behind inside the big hoodie
  • “what the heck are you doing?”
  • “you looked cold! what else was i supposed to do?”
  • Seven rests his chin on MC’s shoulder, looking up with them
  • he points out stars, planets, and constellations
  • he even has this cute trick where he knows where all the letters of the alphabet are in the sky, so he can spell MC’s name in the stars
  • after taking about stars and space and aliens for awhile, Seven decides to end the conversation by littering MC’s cheek, neck, and shoulder with little kisses
  • “love you so, so much. you know that, right?”
  • MC awkwardly cranes their neck so they can look at Seven
  • “i love you too, more than anything”
  • Seven places a small, uncomfortable kiss on MC’s lips before they turn around again, and he wraps his arms around them even tighter and pulls then closer as he returns to resting his chin on their shoulder

can u tell how much a crave physical affection? lol

Imagine S.Coups nonchalantly giving Woozi a back hug whenever he sees the younger member.

BONUS: Despite Woozi trying his hardest to release himself from the leader’s grip, he secretly likes being in the older’s warm embrace.

  • Hamilton: I like your new pants.
  • Burr: Thanks! They were 50% off!
  • Hamilton: I'd like them better if they were 100% off.
  • Burr: The store can't just give clothes away for free.
  • Hamilton: That's not what I meant -
  • Burr: That's a terrible way to run a business, Hamilton.
Angsty OTP Prompts:
  • "Sorry I ruined your life. Maybe you shouldn't have married me."
  • "If I would've known he was going to die, you think I would've done it?"
  • "It's nothing against you...I just have to leave."
  • "I know you love me, but I'm sick of lying when I say it back."
  • "That's the problem. I love you so much, I'd be willing to die for you."
  • "I'm sorry I made you into who you are today."
  • "People change, and people grow. And I think we just grew apart."
  • "When I look at you, I see my world and that scares the sh*t out of me."
  • "I don't think I can spend another night in the same bed as the man/woman who ruined my life"
  • "I always told her to quit second guessing herself...and she never listened"
  • "I'd rather die than live in a world like this."
  • "Tell me what they did to you, please."
  • "Sorry just isn't going to work this time."
  • "Her parents always hated me, I guess they were right."
  • "The one you love most isn't always the one you spend your life with...and that sucks."
  • "I'll go home, but it's not home unless you're there..."
To Spot a Friend

Request: Hello, dear Author. Can You do the following request. Hope it will interest You. Reader is a famous singer, whose voice gets is a voice of a angel, but she hides her face behind a mask. Newt running after niffler is in concert hall and heard her. He sees her singing and fell in love with voice. But she had an abusive boyfriend, who is heating her… and here can be any variation of action…

Word Count: 5,703

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Requested by Anonymous but tagging @caseoffics @red-roses-and-stories @dont-give-a-bother

WARNING: Allusions to an Abusive Relationship

The silver lights cast the room in a sultry glow that drapes over the red plush seats and diamond-and-pearl covered guests like a silken shawl. Their conversations, soft under the intimidation of the glow, drift languidly toward the high ceiling of the theater and mingle together as they wander through the room.

A soft jazz tune weaves through the crowd, no more than a lazy cat no one pays much attention to as it sneaks over their heels and between the legs of their black slacks. The song wafts from the open orchestra pit, a moat between the seats and the massive wooden stage that juts out, looming in front of the crowd, a stage with such a history of grandeur that few agree to step onto it.

Some women shift in their seats in an attempt to peer around the velvet curtains that guard the back of the stage, separating audience and artist for now. They murmur to one another, wondering if the brave artist is back there, hidden in the folds of the shadows, listening to the conversations swirling around. Their chairs squeak as they move, trying to earn the first glimpse of the acclaimed performer with the voice of a cherubim.

They never see her, though, never notice you as you lean against the cool stone wall and try to understand the bits of muffled conversation that amble past you. Your eyes are shut, arms wrapped around your stomach, while you take slow breaths in through your nose, let them out through your mouth. The terror you’d known your first time on stage still haunts you, a ghost you can never rid yourself of no matter the amount of glowing reviews in newspapers or number of sold out concert halls. Terror is a constant in your life, one of the only constants you’ve known for the past four years.

Two hands wrap around your waist, covering your own hands, a wave of thick cologne that ruins your slow breathing and causes you to cough accompanying them.

Theo’s hot breath, smelling of cigarettes and whiskey, scrapes across the side of your face. “You know you’re not supposed to hang out side stage before the show, darling.”

“I needed a break.” You murmur as his stubble scratches your cheek and his chin digs into your shoulder.

“Your wardrobe team tore backstage apart looking for you. They want to get you ready.” He tugs you against his chest.

“They have plenty of time.”

“They need to start soon or you won’t look radiant tonight.”

The insult doesn’t upset you, not anymore. “What does it matter how I look if they’re here for my voice?”

His fingertips dig lightly into your stomach. “No one wants to listen to an ugly person sing. You need to shine, darling. We’ve been over this.”

The bile in your stomach simmers and you feel sick, but you nod at his words. “I’ll meet with wardrobe soon.”

He presses a rough kiss against your exposed neck. “Don’t be long. They need to get to work or we’re paying them for nothing.”

“I know, love.” You whisper as his arms unwrap from around you with one final squeeze.

Keep reading

You know what I would be SO DOWN to watch?

Big Brother but instead of regular people they use people from past seasons of Drag Race! Like imagine all these different personalities living in THE SAME HOUSE TOGETHER for 2 months?

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anonymous asked:

Love your blog sosososoooo much holy heck, Your hunger games au is i n c r e d i b l e oh my gOSH, if it's okay would you be able to do another one but if each of them were victors of their district??? ❤️

Read my Seventeen Hunger Games AU (here).

Weapon/Ability: Strength
Up Against in the Finale: Joshua
- Knew the odds were in his favor when he found out he was up against Joshua.
- Knew he could win with strength alone, and so didn’t bother getting a weapon.
- Looked all over the place for Joshua, who was hiding because he knew he would lose in a fight against him.
- Found him hiding in a tree, and instead of climbing up, S.Coups created a forest fire, forcing Joshua to jump off.
- Chased after Joshua, and broke his neck when he caught up to him.

Weapon/Ability: Spear (Woozi’s), Trickery
Up Against in the Finale: Woozi
- Formed an alliance with Dino.
- Wanted him to win the Games. He was planning for the two of them to make it to the final round, and then let Dino win by killing himself.
- When Dino was killed by Woozi, Jeonghan sought revenge on him. He promised himself to win for Dino.
- He took Woozi’s spear, vowing to kill him with his very own weapon.
- Killed or betrayed anyone in his way to avenge Dino.
- Discovered somewhere along the way that if you throw something at the invisible force field, it makes a boomerang effect.
- During the final battle, when Woozi launched his sword at him and purposely missed, Jeonghan knew what he was planning. The sword hit the force field, and when it came flying back towards him, he ducked at the last second, and it stabbed Woozi.
- Meant to kill Woozi with his spear, but still succeeded in killing Woozi with his own weapon.
- Fulfilled his promise to Dino.

Weapon/Ability: Survival and Treatment Skills
Up Against in the Finale: S.Coups
- He and S.Coups woke up to a forest fire created by the Gamemakers.
- They ran for their lives, but S.Coups was suddenly struck by a fireball and engulfed in flames.
- Didn’t notice this because he was so focused on finding a way out.
- Found himself all alone when he did manage to escape, his eyes widening in realization when he heard the sound of a cannon.
- Didn’t kill anyone while he was in the Games.

Weapon/Ability: Spear, Hand-to-Hand Combat, Identifying Edible Plants
Up Against in the Finale: The8
- Tricked The8 into believing they were friends, but only used him as a stepping stone to get to the Finale.
- Kept him alive until the end because he knew he could defeat him.
- Initiated the final battle between the two by breaking The8’s staff in half, leaving him with no weapon.
- Severely injured The8, who couldn’t bring himself to hurt his friend.
- Will never forget the look of betrayal on The8’s face before he made the final blow.

Weapon/Ability: Knives, Climbing
Up Against in the Finale: DK
- Formed an alliance with DK.
- They became good friends, but he knew only one of them could live.
- They told each other they would battle in the morning.
- But Hoshi planned to end it that night, and waited for DK to fall asleep.
- Saw a Tracker Jackers nest hanging on a branch of a nearby tree. Climbed the tree and cut the branch with his knife, whispering an apology to his friend.
- Covered his eyes when the nest hit the ground and stung DK to death.

Weapon/Ability: Crossbow, Hiding
Up Against in the Finale: Mingyu
- Formed an alliance with Mingyu.
- His envy got the better of him.
- Mingyu was a Capitol favorite, spoiled by Sponsors and had everyone rooting for him. Wonwoo never received anything from Sponsors, and was often forgotten by the watchers.
- When Mingyu received yet another gift from his Sponsors, Wonwoo had enough.
- Wonwoo killed the third to last Tribute, then shot Mingyu from behind with his crossbow upon returning to their campsite.

Weapon/Ability: Spear (formerly), Sword (presently), Strategy
Up Against in the Finale: Jeonghan
- Set up a trap for animals, but Dino got trapped in it instead. Decided to stab him, and in front of Jeonghan.
- Wasn’t caught or killed because Jeonghan didn’t have a weapon at that time.
- Got his spear taken by Jeonghan, and so found his way back to the Cornucopia to get a new weapon. Decided on a sword.
- Discovered that when you throw something at the invisible force field, it makes a boomerang effect.
- During the final battle, he launched his sword at Jeonghan and purposely missed. The sword hit the force field, then came flying back and stabbed Jeonghan’s back.

Weapon/Ability: Crossbow, Traps
Up Against in the Finale: Hoshi
- Formed an alliance with Hoshi.
- Never wanted it to end up like this.
- Knew he had to bring an end to the Games, so he built a huge trap overnight and went back to the Cornucopia to get a weapon. Decided on a crossbow.
- The next morning, he hid in the trees and watched Hoshi wander around aimlessly looking for him.
- When Hoshi fell into his trap, he held up his crossbow and fired.
- The only person he killed was his friend.

Weapon/Ability: Identifying Edible Plants
Up Against in the Finale: Wonwoo
- Won by accident.
- Formed an alliance with Wonwoo.
- Gathered a bunch of plants and berries to eat because he was the one in charge of food.
- Was going to separate the poisonous from the non-poisonous, but came back to find Wonwoo unconscious after eating Nightlock.
- Begged for him to wake up, but all he got in return was the sound of a cannon.

Weapon/Ability: Staff, Wushu
Up Against in the Finale: Jun
- Gamemakers announced that there was a Feast at the Cornucopia that would help prepare the last two Tributes for the final battle.
- Didn’t know who he was up against.
- Went to the Cornucopia to grab an extra weapon, only to dodge a spear thrown at him at the last second.
- Looked up to see Jun with another spear in hand standing at the top of the Cornucopia. He jumped off, and the two battled each other.
- Wolf Mutts were released into the Arena, and The8 successfully managed to vault himself onto the roof of the Cornucopia with his staff.
- Jun tried to jump onto it too, but while hanging onto the edge, The8 crushed his hands with his staff, making him release his grip and fall. The Wolf Mutts ripped him to shreds.

Weapon/Ability: Bow & Arrow, Tactics
Up Against in the Finale: Vernon
- Formed an alliance with Vernon.
- They became good friends.
- Originally wanted to win to return to his family, but after learning about Vernon’s little sister, he was having second thoughts.
- Knew it was the end when the Gamemakers released Wolf Mutts.
- He and Vernon ran all the way to the Cornucopia to climb onto it for safety.
- Vernon helped him get onto the roof, but when Seungkwan reached out a hand to help him, it was too late.
- The Wolf Mutts dragged Vernon down, and proceeded to brutally attack him and tear him to pieces.
- Shot an arrow at him to end his suffering, winning the Games.
- Cried at the sight of his dead friend. This wasn’t how he wanted it to end.

Weapon/Ability: Bow & Arrow
Up Against in the Finale: Seungkwan
- Volunteered to save his little sister.
- Formed an alliance with Seungkwan.
- Lied by telling him that his parents were dead and that his sister would be alone if he died so that Seungkwan would take pity on him and not kill him.
- His plan worked.
- Vernon planted bombs all around the Cornucopia, making footprint marks to remind himself where they were.
- Told Seungkwan to go back to the Cornucopia to get weapons so that they can both finish off the two other Tributes.
- Actually found and killed them last night when Seungkwan was sleeping.
- Followed Seungkwan to the Cornucopia, and shot an arrow at one of the bombs he planted, creating a huge explosion.
- Underestimated the size of the explosion and got injured, but won the Games.

Weapon/Ability: Slingshot, Speed
Up Against in the Finale: Jeonghan
- He and Jeonghan made it to the final round of the Games.
- Dino stayed behind while Jeonghan left to go get them food.
- He never came back.
- Dino went to search for him, and found him lying on the ground unconscious with Nightlock in his hand. And only the sound of a cannon resounded in his ears.
- Jeonghan sacrificed himself to let Dino win.
- Dino never forgot about him.

i’m sorry thank you for your request!!

HP Pick Up Line #1
  • <p> <b>Harry:</b> Hey, Malfoy!<p/><b>Draco:</b> What is it now, Potter?<p/><b>Harry:</b> Are you the Heir of Slytherin?<p/><b>Draco:</b> Potter, for the love of-<p/><b>Harry:</b> Because I'd like to get my 'basilisk' into your 'chamber of secrets' *attempts to wink* *achieves a weird eye twitch*<p/><b>Draco:</b> <p/><b>Harry:</b> <p/><b>Draco:</b> You're lucky you're beautiful.<p/></p>