it’s 100% easier not to do things than to do them
in terms of, like, instant relief, canceling plans is like heroin
eat ass, suck a dick, and sell drugs
i have had a very long day. i am very small and i have no money. so you can imagine the kind of stress i am under
holster and i have a new house. it was built in the '20s, but it was flipped in 2014. which means it's haunted, but it has a lovely kitchen backsplash
nothing that i know can help you with your car ever. unless you’re like, “hey, i’ve got a flat tire, does anyone here know a lot about 30 rock”?
it's fun to be married. i’ve never been supervised before. i’m supervised. farmer studies what i do, like an anthropologist. she'll be like, “sometimes, he will watch a movie on tv even though he already owns that movie on dvd. pointing this out confuses and upsets him"
the bad guy would hold the joint in a villainous way. they'd always offer the joint in a way that no one ever holds a joint. like it's a skull in a shakespeare play
i’ll keep all my emotions right here, and then one day, i’ll die
ah... numbers, the letters of math
sometimes babies will point at me, and i don’t care for that shit at all