i yelled a lot while watching this

lassitudeian  asked:

I too am procrastinating!! I'd really like to see Dex and Nursey sharing Lardo's room, Dex becoming more comfortable with himself and Nursey, and realizing that the team has his back

hooray for procrastination! okay room sharing, lets bullet point this shit (also i kind of stuck to the prompt but the main focus is on room sharing and being comfortable with each other and less on everyone having each others’ backs, sorry it kind of ran away from me)

  • to start, dex gets the top bunk and nursey gets the bottom obvs bc honestly can you imagine nursey successfully climbing up to the top without falling off the ladder at least once a week?
  • music is a big point of contention for the first month 
    • dex blasts dad rock whenever he’s coding and nursey listens to his indie shit so loudly that even when he’s using headphones dex can hear it from the top bunk
    • they reach a weird understanding one day when nursey puts a playlist on shuffle and they end up both singing along to the middle by jimmy eat world and they discover they both  are still in  went through a punk rock/pop phase (yes i have been reading @heyfightme‘s punk au)
    • from there on they reach a pretty easy agreement that when they’re both in the room and neither are studying, it’s tb punk from the 2005 era or anything they’ve recently discovered
    • (for the sake of avoiding arguments) 
    • (also because both love watching the other get lost in the music as they scream the lyrics)
    • (please take a moment to imagine two 6′2″ hockey players yell the words to i don’t wanna be an asshole anymore by the menzingers to each other as they jump up and down in the middle of their bedroom at 4pm)
  • it takes a while to get a bathroom routine down bc nursey has A Lot of skincare products and he likes to bathe william, not all of us are neanderthals that enjoy feeling crusty

the rest is under the cut bc i got carried away

Keep reading

a list of self care things that chris made victor do so he can forget about how yuuri abandoned him at the grand prix banquet

  • face masks
  • spa treatment
  • shopping
  • fabulous photoshoots at the swiss alps that got them both 1mil likes on instagram each
  • watching mamma mia
  • watching mamma mia while drunk off tequila and then they start singing “gimmie! gimmie! gimmie! (a man after midnight” off the top of their lungs out chris’ balcony
  • go to brunch hella hungover but still drinking mimosas regardless
  • spent an entire weekend playing with chris’ cat
  • flew all the way to southern california so they can relax at the beach and then try in-n-out and carne asada fries as their fellow competitor leo suggested
  • roadtrip to amsterdam so they can go to cafes and get hella stoned on bon bons
  • gossip about literally any other skater besides yuuri
    • (victor still found a way to tie it back to yuuri)
  • have an entire conversation while completely wasted where it’s just them yelling compliments at each other. Really Loudly
  • gave victor a makeover that broke the internet
  • went to sweden to watch an abba tribute band
    • victor cried six times. i mean he was drunk, but,

(there were a lot of moments were chris had to pry victor’s phone off his hands bc he’s always going back to yuuri’s social media)

(also the amount of times that chris has had to pry a cryingi victor away from his cat) (and his husband) (because his husband is surprisingly a great support system) 

Ok with all this stuff about how there should be a completely genderbent Sherlock adaptation, not just making Watson a woman, I’m like why stop at Sherlock and john, why not flip all the characters??

Hudson would be the sweetest father/grandad figure ever. Always offering people tea and little hard candies that he always has on him. He wouldn’t take anyone’s shit either and could box pretty well despite being seventy something, but also give the best damn hugs. When he tidies 221b he’s always be grumbling about the two “hooligans” he keeps as tenants, but He’d be so proud of His crime solving daughters running around through all hours of the night. He’d start every reprimand or piece of advice with “now, son” no matter who he was talking to.

Mycroft being the definition of a stone cold bitch, being offended to her core when anyone tries to flirt with her, calmly giving kill orders henchmen while adjusting make up. impeccable 1,000$ suits and heels. She still loves sweets but only super fancy pastries and flan and stuff. Is besties with the queen.

Lestrade being team mom for Holmes and Watson. Making sure they never get officially arrested, keeping Sherlock from getting punched, she’s just in a constant state of confused cluelessness and concern when it comes to the two of them. Her love life is a mess, she’s constantly questioning her career choices. She’s just a hot, caring mess but will always go out of her way to help Watson and Holmes.

Sherlock is either a hot mess or just plain hot. She wears perfectly tailored pants and blazers with $200 blouses, and $700 oxfords out and about but kinda just doesn’t wear clothes around the flat?? Like the most she wears is her robe. “What’s the point of clothes if I’m not going to go anywhere?” She’s as skinny as a rake and is like six feet tall but can break a mans jaw with one punch. She’s just… so gay, like never been into men, never will be, why do people always assume that, God where my ladies at. She thoroughly enjoys deducing people to tears. Wears tiny earrings shaped like bees.

John(Joan???) being the most badass and abordable woman on the planet. She’s about 5'2" but can take down men a foot taller than her in about three seconds. Is an expert in Krav Maga, has at least three pistols on her at all times. Image how sassy and little shit john takes, and multiply that by a thousand. But she also loves quiet evenings reading Charles Dickens and sobs every time she watches the Titanic. In a constant state I’d either amazement or exasperation with Sherlock (mostly exasperation) She only ever wears like five layers, because she’s always cold. She’s done up countless stitches for both herself and Sherlock.

Sherlock and Joan are like the greatest power couple ever??? Like they yell at each other a lot because their ridiculous idiots but hug and make up, taking down drug crews while calling each other “my dear”, dragging any sexist asshole they encounter. I just love all my daughters so so much.

Feel free to add stuff btw

I'm not finished yet

Some extremely petty revenge. Should fit right in here.

My clothes dryer regularly breaks down. It’s annoying. More annoying is dragging my wet clothes to the laundromat to use the dryers.

The one closest to my house is also the cleanest one, so in spite of the fact that it has about 20 washers and only 10 dryers, I use it. I try to go when it’s not busy, but that’s hit and miss.

I pull up with loads and loads of wet clothes. Place is empty. So far, so good.

After I get my stuff in the dryers (I’m using 3-4), a crowd hits. Still not too bad. I should have at least half my stuff out of the dryers before the others need them.

Then the crazy lady comes in. She gets her laundry into the last of the empty washers. Then she grabs two of the carts (one with each hand) and holds on to them.

By this time, other washers are finished, I’m emptying the first of my dryers, and people are moving clothes to the dryers. Except some of them have to hand-carry their clothes from washer to dryer because Crazy Lady won’t let go of the carts. She glares at anyone who comes close. Everyone in the laundromat is getting a little grumpy and impatient.

All my dryers finish, except the last dryer of towels. As fast as I’m emptying dryers, other people are taking them. Each time I carry a basket to my car, I pass Crazy Lady. Each time she says, loud and in my general direction, “You need to hurry up. I need dryers in 5 minutes.”

Comes down to my last dryer of towels. All the other dryers are full. By this time, Crazy Lady is standing over my dryer with her cart of wet clothes, counting down the minutes left on the timer. I’m staying far, far away while still watching her.

The dryer clicks off. Now Crazy Lady is practically hopping one one foot, yelling, “Hurry up! Hurry up! I need that dryer.”

I slowly walk over. Open the dryer. Plunge my hand deep into the mass of my (perfectly dry) towels. Frown. Close the dryer door. Put another quarter in the slot. 10 more minutes.

Crazy Lady loses her shit. Her husband (?) drags her from the building. Everyone in the laundromat is smiling.

Crazy Lady is still in the parking lot, screaming, when I load up my last basket and leave.

Since this reaction will be quite short compared to my other ones, i’ll do an exception and do all of the members for this one. Also i’m assuming that the members only like you and you aren’t their girlfriend (if i’m wrong, please correct me so i can do it again!). 

And thank you so much, it really means a lot! ^^

The boys watching their crush waking up in the morning on TV

Shownu; He would be quiet while watching the TV screen, focusing on the cameras that are entering your girl group’s dorm. They would start to play loud music and sirens to wake you and the girls up, and once the camera focused on your frowning, confused face, Shownu’s face would lift up with a huge smile, thinking about how cute you looked. 

Jooheon; I feel like he would be yelling at the members to shut up when your group’s reality show came on, and he’d be concentrating on the TV with his tongue poking out, super excited to see you. He’d burst into laughter when the crew would wake you up, and he’d see you sitting up with a hoodie over your head, eyes squinted while looking around still half asleep. He would find it hilarious, and he’d boast to the members, saying, “Look! Look how cute she is!” while pointing at the TV. 

Wonho; Wonho would be watching the TV screen with a smile on his face, and his heart would pound in his chest when he saw you rub your eyes cutely and pull the covers over your head while the filming crew tried to wake you up. He would find you super adorable and he would be fanboying inside, wishing he was there to wake you up in person. 

Minhyuk; Omg, Minhyuk would be so loud and excited to see you. He’d be watching you on the screen with his mouth open, laughing and giggling when he saw you grumpily getting out off bed, a plushie that you sleep with still under your arm. “Guys, look how pretty she is with no make up! I’m so in love with her, oh my God..” 

Hyungwon; He’d be the quietest one, occasionally hitting someone (probably Minhyuk) so they would shut up while he watched you. He would fall for you even more when he saw you wake up and stretch, and when you figured out the situation, he’d smile, watching you giggle and bow to the camera, thinking about how sweet and cute you were.

Kihyun; Kihyun would be really into the show lol, he would sit on the floor in front of the TV screen, watching you as you slept peacefully cuddled up to one of the other girls from your group, thinking you were absolutely adorable. He’d grin from ear to ear when you woke up, and his heart would sink when he saw you nuzzling into the other girl, hiding your face from the camera. Pretty sure he’d be super jealous of the other girl and would wish you were cuddling up to him instead. “Wah.. So cute..

I.M; 100% the members would be teasing him when you were on the TV, and poor Changkyun couldn’t do anything about it since he’s the youngest, he couldn’t even smack them lmao. He’d blush a little bit as the members kept on teasing him about his crush on you, yet he’d ignore them because his eyes would be focused on you, yawning and stretching as you sat up on the bed, spaced out and half asleep, he’d fall for you even more after seeing you like this. 


Some of my favourite things from the Computer Games Facebook Live:

 - Darren wearing his hat in every conceivable position

- Darren trying to hand Chuck the mic REPEATEDLY and Chuck not taking the mic REPEATEDLY

- Darren being able to play multiple songs from the top of his head on the guitar with seconds of warning

- Bowling and Rambling Mike from Highly Illogical

- Darren’s Cockney accent (and saying ‘fucking’ in the cockney accent)

- The fact that TWICE Darren gave away the answer for the Heads Up Game (”Outkast….uhhhhhh …*plays a song by Outkast*”)

- Chuck’s emo singing about the girl graduating 

- “I like how Chuck looks like a rocker and Darren kinda looks like a little kid but I love them both”

- Calling Beyonce on their desert phone

- Darren being unable to stop playing the guitar as they look at the comments

- “I speak Italian like a really smart 4 years old or like a really dumb 14 year old”

- Darren’s excitement about that Justin guy’s birthday

- Their commentary on the video as they watched it on the iPad and tried to show it to us (which was an epic fail because we couldn’t really see it)

- “We might have to yell at it.” “Yeah. HEY! Turn yourself up!” “Be louder.”

- Darren showing us the choreographed dance while sitting on the couch

- Chuck’s inability to dance


B-Project acting all together! Exhilarating youthful musical movie! On 250 screens throughout the country, Spring 2017 Roadshow

Ascend the throne! Friendship? Or Power?


Houou Academy High School

Shishidou High School

Legendary Gangster - Nishiyama Takanori (Nishikawa Takanori)
JOKER - Kamimori Ryunosuke (Kamiki Ryunosuke)

Introduction Story

-8PM. Shibuya ward, Westside.

Houou Academy High School’s intelligent-type delinquent group, called “Seventh Heaven”, and Shishidou High School’s violent-type delinquent group, called “Route Seven” are always in conflict for Westside’s throne. These boys never stop arguing, but by no means, are they are harmful existence.

The reason is because they were born and raised in Shibuya, and love it more than anyone else. In this town, many of the young residents take spiteful actions, so they won’t show mercy on those who lack manners and morals. They’re the ones who even properly separate the garbage from ordering fast food.

In reality, these two powers have an extremely strong influence of power and it’s no exaggeration to say they preserve the town’s order.

Keep reading

Kissing Contest

Shawn Mendes 
Words: 1,000 
Note: Basically I saw ^^^ and ended up writing this in about an hour. I changed it a bit, but I think it came out okay? This is kinda collage Mendes, so woo! 
Also, if someone can send me that photo of Shawn in glasses and blue shirt, pls do so! I’ve been trying to find it for at least 10 minutes :D 

“Who’s ready for some kissing!” Some guy standing on a picnic table yelled through a megaphone. The crowed of students cheered loudly, all seeming way too excited for this stupid contest.

“The rules are simple! We start on the dong! Whoever can smooch the longest gets a one week couple’s holiday!” A chorus of oooo’s spread around the group. One of my friends rolled her eyes and mimicked the sound, making me laugh,

“Just remember lips only! And only couples are permitted!” Megaphone guy turned to a very red-faced guy at the front of the crowed, giving him a knowing look. Red-face stumbled back, trying to escape from the taunting laughter of his friends.  

“Can I get some music please!” After a few seconds of minor technical difficulties and some muffled words, the intro to Eye of the Tiger blasted out through some Iphone dock someone must have brought along. Okay, this shit was getting way too cheesy now.

“How can you sit and watch this?” I asked the friend who managed to talk me into coming along. While I didn’t attend this school, a lot of my friends did, so it was unusual for me to get dragged to things like Halloween parties, or random beer chugging festivals like that one time.

“Don’t worry, it gets better.” She had to yell over the music to be heard, “Last year this one girl went nuts because her boyfriend was making out with some other girl. They won though, so I guess it wasn’t too bad.”

I flashed her a look as if to ask ‘why the hell am I friends with you?’, but she didn’t seem to notice as the crowed began counting down.


The group broke up as people rushed around trying to find significant others, or just random people to make out with.


Standing up, I quickly began collecting my things, hoping to escape before it was too late.


Shoving my notebook in my backpack, I shouted a ‘see you later’ to my friends who all looked a bit disappointed that I was leaving so soon. One even grabbed my arm, trying to slow me down.


Laughing, I managed to free my arm and waved them bye as I began rushing down the path.


I weaved in and out of the crowed, almost hitting into a couple who seemed to be getting a head start.


Someone called my name. At first I thought it was one of my friends running after me because I forgot something. But when I turned around I was met with a very handsome guy running towards me. He looked vaguely familiar, and he was wearing a burgundy sweatshirt with the universities initials on it, so the fact that he knew my name wasn’t all that creepy.


He was suddenly stood in front of me.

“Kiss me.” He breathed out through pants. I knew his voice from somewhere. Then it clicked. His name was Shawn…Something. He worked at the coffee shop me and my friends sometimes go to study in. He would always smile when I walked in, Well, he seemed like the kind of person to smile at anyone, but he always gives me a slightly bigger piece of brownie, so that’s got to count for something.  


My heart began pounding at a thousand miles an hour. I stared at him with wide eyes as I tried to process what he just said, “Wait, what?”


“Will you kiss me?” He asked again, jumping from foot to foot, pushing his glasses up his nose as he anxiously awaited my answer. And while this probably wasn’t the time to admit it, but it was cute.


Although I knew I could say no, I panicked and nodded my head.

A loud gong echoed through the air. Dropping our backpacks, Shawn was quick to close the distance between us, his hands grabbing my face softly as he pulled me cover to meet his lips. Things were very awkward at first. We didn’t know which direction to turn out heads, so our noses were constantly bumping into each other. Then his glasses kept getting in the way. And I didn’t know what to do with my hands, leaving them dangling at my side for a good few minutes until I finally placed them on his waist, gripping onto his jumper a bit too tightly.

But damn this boy had great lips. They were just so soft and plushy, and I don’t know what he did to them, but they were sort of sweet. It was like kissing a marshmallow and I was totally 100% okay with that.

We managed to sneak a quick break so Shawn could take off his bloody glasses off, shoving them in his back pocket. But then we were back together, just as Megaphone guy walked by, staring us down. The dude turned to me and winked, and I tried to stay focused on the guy I was sucking faces with, but the smile he was wearing was way too big for my liking.

“Fucking creep.” Shawn mumbled under his breath, just loud enough so I could hear, wrapping his arms around my waist tighter. The dude soon moved alone, probably going to find a more interesting couple to stare at.

The kiss started to drag on, feeling more like hours since we started. At some point the couple next to use must have got caught out, and I was trying so hard not to laugh at their stupid argument.

I broke when the girl next to us mentioned something about her boyfriend reading gay smut. This time our break was a lot more noticeable, catching the attention of one of the other judges and I knew we were out once and for all.

“I’m so sorry.” I apologised, still trying to reign in my giggles. The couple shot me a dirty look before the girl huffed and stomped away, the guy chancing after her.

Shawn smiled down at me, his lips all red and puffy from the kiss, “It’s okay. I didn’t really care about the prize anyway.”

Okay, now I was even more confused, “Then why did you ask me to kiss you?”

His face burned a bright red as he looked down at his shoes, “I thought it would be a good way of asking you out.”

God, he was cute.

Leaning up, I pressed a kiss against his hot cheek.

“So, want to go get some coffee?”

anonymous asked:

domestic jily headcanons plz plz????

yes yES I have all the time for this:

  • Lily sitting on the counter and being James’ taste tester while he makes dinner
  • James’ gets really emotional and ~deep~ one night when he’s watching Lily from his side of the bed and he just blurts out “You are the best thing that ever happened to me” and she has to turn her face and smush it in her pillow because damnit he makes her smile and she’s blushing so hard it’s embarrassing
  • James is the dad that not so secretly frets over every potential disaster that could happen and accidently freaks out and yells quite a lot because “nO Harry get away from the toaster or so hELP me Godric”
  • Meanwhile Lily mocks James because “you blew up the toaster a couple weeks ago, I’m not sure you’re qualified to tell him off for trying to retrieve his breakfast” with a raised eyebrow
  • but she is also that parent that can silence Harry with a single terrifying look
  • One time when they were in hiding James lost his razor, and couldn’t get a new one
  • Lily fell in love with his stubble
  • James then got creative and threatened to grow a huge mustache like the ridiculous one Sirius grew in fifth year
  • Lily threatened a divorce
  • James discovering Harry loves bubbles and blowing them out the end of his wand so enthusiastically that he ends up almost passing out
  • James plays a prank to make Harry laugh but accidentally scares him and then Lily walks in on James’ panic searching google articles about overcoming childhood trauma
  • Once the war is over they settle into normality pretty happily
  • James wears a suit to work at the Ministry as a Senior Auror and Lily ties his tie and kisses his nose
  • Meanwhile Lily is a stay at home mum, and the master potioneer for Fleamont Potter’s resurrected potions company on the side
  • (because while Lily can’t leave Harry after that night in Godric’s Hollow, she still has ambitions to one day be a world renowned potions expert)
  • James will sneak downstairs at 4am for the last pop tart only to open the cupboards to find that his wife had already snuck down and eaten it
  • Eating in bed
  • It usually drives James a little insane but some nights he can’t help but curl up with a bag of popcorn and attempt to steal some of Lily’s oreos
  • (He miserably fails obviously - Lily is not a sharer of food)
  • James falling asleep in the most random places all the time, mouth open, snoring and drooling whenever Lily finds him (or in some circumstances, when she trips over him at 6 am on her way to the kitchen)
  • “Potter, why are you sleeping with your head against the bannister when there’s a perfectly good bed upstairs?”
  • An almost incoherent mumble of “pop tarts” usually explains
  • Lily will read a book before bed while her husband lies next to her and reads Quidditch magazines, and promptly falls asleep five minutes later with his glasses sitting wonkily on his face
  • She always quietly removes them and the magazine from his hand, gives him a peck on the nose and turns out the lights for the night
  • In the dark she’ll hear him mumble an “I love you” every night, without fail
  • Lily loves decorative pillows, James doesn’t understand their function
  • “This seems like such a waste. And why do they have to be in a specific stacking order, they’re just pillows??”
  • In response he always gets a smack round the head with one and told that their true purpose is whacking Jame’s in the face so that he “shuts up about the pillows function?? It doesn’t need a bloODY FUNCTION you dimwit it’s just a pillow”
  • Sometimes Lily gets drowsy on the couch and James will carry her up the stairs, tuck her into bed and just look at his wife, think about his life with her and Harry and wonder just how he got this damn lucky

Originally posted by sonsofanarchyfans

Warnings: talk of blood and wounds.

You had just put your son down in his crib as he finally, after what felt like century’s, fell asleep. You sighed in relief when the door to his room shut softly, you made your way into the kitchen and decided to start on dinner for you and your old man chibs.

After 6 years your routine set itself in place and with the new addition to your family 6 months ago the only thing that really changed was not working anymore. Chibs had wanted you to be a stay at home mom and he made sure that happened no matter what. You hated it, you had always been one to work but chibs insisted. And after a night of arguing you conceded. So here you were, making dinner and patiently waiting for him to come home.

You were busy chopping up some onion when you heard a thump in the living room, with no one else in the house besides you, your son, and your pitbul rocky, who was currently in your sons room. You stiffened. Grabbing the knife tighter in your hand you slowly and quietly made your way over to the wall that separated he two rooms and peaked around the corner.

Your blood ran cold as the rather large man stood up, obviously from climbing through your window. You weighed your options, you could run to your sons room where rocky was, but you couldn’t, You would be leading him straight to your son. You could call your husband but he could easily hear you, the same went for calling the cops. You mentally sighed as you knew even if you could get ahold of anyone, you wouldn’t last long in a fight against him. You slowly pulled the phone from your pocket and dialed 911 as you hid and watched the man walk down the hallway completely oblivious to the activity in the kitchen.

“911 what’s your emergency”

~Chibs POV~

Jax, happy and I were currently talking to hale who had been here to ask about a disappearance of one of the town members daughters. While we took care of the man, who took her, hale didn’t know that.
(I don’t know much dispatch lingo so if it’s wrong, forgive me)

“Dispatch all units to a break in at 1145 princess anne drive. Caller specified a large male of unknown decent in her home. Ambulance 6 needed as well"  my heart dropped as the call come over the radio.

“Y/N” hale immediately hopped into his car and jax, happy and I sped out of the lot on our bikes.

~Reader POV~

You had placed the phone down on the kitchen table, still on the line with the dispatcher who had requested to stay on and watched as the man reached for your sons door.

“Don’t!” You yelled out hiding the knife behind  your back as he snapped to face you. He was Mayan from what you could see if his tattoo and while you wanted to run and scream, you’d be damned if he laid a finger on your baby. By now rocky was going crazy at the smell of a stranger outside the door. The man backed off the door slightly, keeping eye contact with you before charging at you. His hunting knife in full view, you charged at him and ducked under his arm when he reached you, slicing the back of his calf when you turned around. He reached out to grab you but you slipped out of his grasp easily but couldn’t miss his knife as it skimmed across your cheek. It was only a surface cut but it was enough for your anger to peak through. You lashed back at him giving him a match surface cut to yours.

“Bitch” he whisper yelled. “You’ll pay for that.” He growled. You got up and ran for your room where you kept your gun, but was soon pulled to the floor in the hallway. The man turned you over onto your back and put the knife to your throat. “I’m going to enjoy this.” He smirked as you looked over to see your sons door. You reached for the door handle, the man to stupid to realize what you were doing, but pain radiated from your chest. You looked back to him cutting into your chest, not enough to kill you, but enough to scar. You cried out from the pain making rocky bark again from the sound of his mom (yes my dogs are my children and I am their mother.) in pain. You groaned reaching for the handle again, tears steamed down your cheek as he continued his assault now making cuts into other places on your torso. You finally reached the handle and opened the door, rocky jumped out and latched onto the mans arm making him drop his knife. You grabbed it and threw them behind you as you heard the sirens coming down the street.

What felt like seconds later two officers were in your hallway trying to get rocky to unlatch.

“Rock” you called him making him unlatch and sit in front of you panting. Without a second thought you rushed to your sons crib and scooped him up holding him close to you. He somehow slept through all the noise and for that you were thankful for.

“Mam, I need you to come with me” you almost scoffed at the paramedic. “You’re bleeding” he reached for your elbow. “Please just let me look at you.” You nodded after a minute and walked outside with him, your son still in your arms and rocky stuck to you like glue.

After the paramedic patched you up with rocky watching him closely on your left, your old man popped up in front of you.

“Love.” You looked up at him with a smile and relief washed over him.

“Everyone’s fine.” You stated as he sat down on your right side.

“Your face.” His voice was smaller, smaller than you’ve ever heard it as he grabbed your chin lightly moving you so he can see the cut better.

“It will heal.” You kissed his cheek.

“You’re covered in blood.” Jax, happy and the rest of the club watched from a distance.

“Baby, Im fine, they’re surface cuts and nothing more. Our son is perfectly okay, rocky is okay.”

“But,” you shook your head.

“No, the man was stupid and took his time trying anything and that’s why I’m here and not as injured as you want to make me out to be.” He kissed you lightly, taking your son and holding him close to his chest as rocky took the opportunity to try and get into your lap.

“You have a 75 pound lap dog.” Happy yelled out making the group of you chuckle, but that moment passed as hale escorted the Mayan to his car. Jax nodded to chibs and after moving rocky back to his original spot you happily took your son as you stood up leaning against the ambulance.

“You okay?” Bobby asked

“Yeah.” You shrugged. “a little shook up, but I’m in one piece.” You sighed as you watched chibs punch the Mayan in the face and knocking him out.

“And my nephew?” You rolled your eyes at his concern yet you hadn’t noticed that your blood at made it on your sons pajamas.

“He’s perfectly fine.” You smiled down at him as he yawned opening his eye finally. “Say the strange man didn’t even get to touch me.” Your baby voice had bobby smiling from ear to ear as he stepped closer to give you a hug. Rocky quickly jumped in between the two of you, not trying to bite him or anything, but so he would keep his distance. “Rocky” you called out as a warning and he sat in front of you once more, still watching bobby and everyone else who passed by you.

Jax and chibs were talking with hale as the man sat in the back seat staring at you and if looks could kill, you would certainly be dead. Hale looked to be in deep thought before nodding as if agreeing to something the guys had asked. Chibs came back over to you smiling taking your son and holding him close before pulling you close as well.

“Happys grabbing you and Y/S/N a change of clothes and taking you three to the clubhouse.” You nodded and kissed his cheek before walking over the car to get rocky in the back.


Once at the clubhouse you got your son changed and settled into the pack and play and shut the door as rocky laid down on the bed and watched him sleep. You closed the door behind you only to run into a hard chest. Happy.

“We need you in the garage.” He stated simply grabbing your wrist lightly and dragging you behind him. The doors were closed as it was after hours but you could see the light seep through the cracks before entering the office. He opened the door to the garage revealing the guys as well as the Mayan who had attacked you.

“What’s going on here? I thought hale had him?” You questioned.

“Don’t worry about that love.” Your old man cooed as he guided you over in front of the man who attacked you. “You know what to do.” He kissed your cheek lightly as he handed you his knife. You spun it around in your hand a few times smiling mischievously at the guys, no one smiled back but happy as he jumped up on the counter to watch the show.

Three hours later you took a step back to look at your master piece, the mans screaming was a bit distracting but you had drowned him out along time ago.

“It’s your crow.” Chibs stated before a small smile crept onto his lips.

“I thought they should know exactly who killed him.” You said almost definitely. “You don’t try and fuck with my family and get away with it.” Happy was awe struck at your work, running his fingers over it not caring about the blood that seeped over his fingers.

“Hap, get him into the van.” Clay ordered but you called out to stop him.

“He’s not dead yet.” You stated.

“So? We can finish him off.” You shook your head no before taking the knife and stabbing him in the neck.

“There.” You sighed taking the knife out and watching the blood flow freely. “Now you can take him.” Chibs grabbed your hand pulling you into the office before closing and locking both doors and closing the blinds. He kissed you passionately as he picked you up and placed you down on the desk standing in between your legs. He didn’t care about the blood or the sweat the you had on you, all he wanted right now was you.

awkward phan sex

i’m just thinking of some more realistic and awkward moments between Dan and Phil while they do the secks

Phil being so eager the first time he forgets to finger dan and so Dan can’t walk for two days after.

Phil trying to be hot but just ending up with Dan laughing on the floor while covered in his own cum.

dan prepping himself a lot before hand and phil having such an average/smaller dick that Dan is just really underwhelmed and they end up blowing each other

Dan trying to seduce Phil while they’re watching a movie about lions and Phil ignoring him until the end of the movie.

Dan walking in on Phil while he’s masturbating and just yelling “Phil get your jeans on I want dinner” and walking off.

Dan trying to get Phil to be kinkier but Phil doesn’t understand any of his kinks so he just gets frustrated and he walks off leaving Phil very confused and very hard.

Dan ordering Phil to switch to bottom one day and Phil walking out of the apartment.

Dan moaning so loudly that their neighbours knock on the door and tell them to shut up.

Phil giving Dan hickeys and biting on his shoulder so hard that Dan falls back half crying half laughing.

idk what this is it just was fun I suppose

Ragethirst Highlights - Dragon Inn/Dragons Gate Inn

I was drafted by Hal and Dream into writing the highlights for this stream, so I preface this by saying that I had to ask @paint-the-wall-with-bullets​ for the plot a fourth of the way through, upon which I connected the dots.

  • The ragethirst was visited today by a smol, who graced us with kpop for a short time
  • ling tried to make moves on everyone assembled, as per usual
  • donnie appeared for all of five minutes in the beginning of the movie to look very pretty and to torture an official to death to establish the plot
    • many disparaging comments were made about his makeup
      • which were equally balanced out by those who liked it
      • (personally I think it was a bit Much, but he did resemble a peacock dressed in gold filigree, so 50/50, could take or leave it)
      • outfit 1
    • donnie’s playing a eunuch, which lead to us trying to goad @evocating​ into writing Forbidden City fanfic starring ballsless sex, because the rest of us don’t have the research background for this brand of historical erotica
  • the official’s entire family was killed except for one boy and one girl
    • our heroine, played by Brigitte Lin, who I referred to for the rest of the movie as ‘the lady drunkard who crossdresses and fights well’ appears at this point with a band of renegade mercenaries to snatch the kids off
      • donnie watches all of this from the cliffs above from the middle of his entourage
      • no really
      • outfit 2
  • there’s a lot of fighting on horseback and by ‘fighting on horseback’ I mean people turning horses around in circles, yelling, and waving around prop swords while the wind kicks up sand everywhere
    • donnie gets to use the Force

  • our heroes, kids in tow, sojourn to this inn in the middle of the desert near a pass through the mountains they can use
    • as framing for said inn we’re treated to a scene of Maggie Cheung, playing the role of the cannibal (more on that later) innkeeper mistress seducing a man and then brutally murdering him via several throwing knives to the face
      • down the chute he goes
        • for those interested, he gets turned into meat buns (that was the later)
        • the butcher is very skilled at chopping (I swear to god this becomes salient even more later)
  • our innkeeper Immediately susses out that the crossdresser is crossdressing because she is not attracted to her womanly ways
    • I say this but the next scene after the obligatory This Meat Tastes Off, Don’t Eat It bit is something like twenty minutes of a fight between our crossdressing heroine and the innkeeper in the bath that consists of knives shredding cloth and stealing clothes off of each other
      • words were exchanged to the effect of ‘you have a very lovely body’ ‘as do you’
        • the innkeeper loses
        • she ends up topless
  • while vaulting onto the top of the inn(??), the innkeeper is interrupted in the middle of her bawdy(???), topless(??????) song by the arrival of a third party
    • Tony Ka Fai Leung plays a doctor romantically involved with our crossdressing heroine
      • he arrives on two camels. Take this as you will.
    • He Banters with the innkeeper, who promptly decides she wants to keep him
      • there was so much crosstalk about “the weather” and “candles”
  • alas, this perfect setup for poly is not used
  • at some point all the asians in chat completely derailed the conversation by expounding on all the different kinds of meat and how good they were
    • Bone Marrow. Bone marrow was elected universal king
    • Special mention goes to the consumption of insects. Excellent source of protein!
  • At some point during above conversation government officials acting at donnie’s behest arrive at the inn, where they’re all conveniently trapped by the desert weather (it wasn’t Entirely a metaphor)
    • two of the officials’ party get struck by lightning and dragged off to be turned into meat buns
      • maybe a goat too
      • a very fake roasted goat makes an appearance
        • the butcher gets to show off his skills via deboning the whole thing and turning the meat into deli slices (I swear this is also salient)
    • there’s a very tension-laden showdown wherein two tables are broken and the doctor and the main official end up having ‘a toast to nothing’
  • our party is still stuck because of the weather and the officials keeping an eye on them
    • the doctor does a reverse honeypot to seduce the innkeeper into letting their party use the secret tunnels out so they can transport the kids
      • the seduction involves a one night stand after getting married by the government official of said standoff before
        • the doctor also does some Investigation at some point and discovers the people-chute
        • also terrifies the butcher by turning out to be alive
    • somehow the honeymoon turns into a fight
    • which quickly turns into a full-out brawl between all parties in the inn
      • shoutout to the innkeeper who literally grinds up one of the officials’ men in the fight, fills a bucket with his blood, and then throws in the old man official’s face before stabbing him while screaming about making him eat his own blood
        • so much fake blood everywhere
    • donnie and the army he’s leading arrive in the middle of this
  • the inn gets stormed by said army
    • horses ride all over it
    • in the ruckus of the fight above, our crossdressing heroine (who is no longer crossdressing and is probably a bit drunk from drowning her sorrows over the honeymoon that doesn’t involve her), tries to get the kids out
      • she runs into said army and gets shot by an arrow and has to come back
  • the innkeeper, faced with her imminent bodily safety, gets everyone through the tunnels (everyone being the kids, the doctor, the butcher, the crossdressing heroine, herself, and a kitchen sink)
  • the tunnel pops out behind the front line, but one of the kids accidentally lets go of a red sash, which Happens to drift back to where donnie’s sitting
  • upon which he P R O M P T L Y   F L I E S onto a horse and starts chasing after them
    • outfit 3
    • his makeup has gotten Worse
  • donnie loses the horse to a stiff breeze and ends up chasing after the party on foot
    • the kids are sent ahead with the butcher while the rest stay to make a stand against donnie, who is naruto running across the dunes to them
  • A Fight Ensues
    • we can’t see shit because of the goddamn sand blowing everywhere
  • it’s mostly just dramatic swordplay at this point, but donnie loses his hairtie to a stray cut and also gets nicked in the face at some point??
    • ???
      • he’s really rocking the chirrut colors here
  • there is a pause to regroup
    • upon which there is a long pan
      • it’s from donnie’s chest down his skirts to his ankles
      • why? we’re not initially clear
  • Immediately after we realize the above fact, donnie changes his pose
    • he fucking. Landsharks through the sand
      • I honestly have no other words to describe it
        • he carves his own trench?? the sand flies up???
        • he fucking nyooms through the sand my guys
      • “MOVE I’M GAY” - donnie in this fight
    • we have been laughing ever since donnie lost his hairtie because his goddamn face when it happened was ATROCIOUS, I hope someone screencapped it for posterity
      • “MOOOOOOOOOO YAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!” - the doctor, dramatically, overwrought, as the crossdressing heroine is stabbed
    • attempts to drive off donnie are made. they’re not very successful.
      • Breakdancing fighting ensues
      • the innkeeper leaves mo yan in the sand to die as she tries to help with the fight
        • “MOOOOOOO YAAAAANNNNN!!!!” - the doctor, as he dives for mo yan, sinking into the sand, and misses her hand in time to pull her out
          • she deserved a better death, honestly
  • the fight is REALLY not going well. Donnie makes a move to charge at the remaining party
    • upon which
    • a fucking second landshark
    • pops out of the dune to engage him
    • until the butcher disengages and scuttles off to fucking. Bury himself back into the sand in true landshark style
  • donnie tries to move, halts, looks down
    • “MY LEG!!!!!!!” - donnie in this movie, discovering that he has an EXTREMELY BADLY DONE skeleton leg from the knee down replacing his left leg?!?!?!?
    • “MY HAND!!!!!” - donnie in this movie, discovering after falling over that he has an EXTREMELY BADLY DONE skeleton hand from the elbow down replacing his left arm?!?!?!?!?
  • Oh my god, he gets up Somehow because the landshark butcher is coming for the rest of him
    • they exchange some blows
    • donnie stabs him fucking just shy of the crotch THROUGH THE SAND
      • ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!
    • there’s a quick interlude for the doctor to Resolve Himself with the innkeeper THROUGH WHICH YOU CAN STILL HEAR DONNIE SCREAMING
  • the doctor and donnie have one last dramatic clash that involves FLYING ACROSS THE SAND
        • THIS MAN.
  • donnie has one last dramatic yell in him. we’re treated to a shot of his skeleton leg crumpling to bits under him. He finally falls over. he’s dead. The evil has been vanquished.

  • There is a dramatic pan on mo yan’s flute on the sand with music going in the background as the doctor looks appropriately anguished and the innkeeper appropriately jilted by death
  • said doctor takes the kids through the pass on the other camel
  • the innkeeper and the butcher go back to the inn and burn it down
    • ‘let us leave this evil place’ LADY, YOU WERE THE ONE TURNING DUDES INTO MEAT BUNS IN THE BASEMENT????

  • @xanderxcagex had a great joke about swordception [BWOOOOOM]
  • hal came back after having to take a break right as the movie finished

seriously, thank you so much for streaming for us @greymichaela​ and hosting our absolute madness. This was a ragethirst to remember, if nothing else for it being the strongest ending to a donnie movie I’ve caught thus far.

Kim, to Hal: you’re going to ask ‘What? Was that - ?” a lot in the last ten minutes, and the answer, every time, is going to be ‘Yes.’
Hal, Immediately: DID DONNIE JUST -
Everyone in the chat, through their laughter: YES

I was tagged by the space babes @quillpete & @jynscaptain thanks luvs 💕

Outfit: Depends. Usually on schooldays, I am anything but motivated so I like to keep it simple by wearing this:

But when I’m really feeling myself™, I like to mix in some dark red (because it matches the dark red circles around my eyes #aesthetic):

Shoes to go are: my goth platform boots. ALWAYS.

Makeup/Accessories: I like to keep it natural:

Coffee order: 66

Nighttime routine: I like to send intimidating holograms to my staff. While they’re drowning in their sweat, I watch their reactions via the security cams and laugh my ass off while taking several Tequilla shots. Before I close my eyes I yell through the intercom that I AM THE SENATE™. I enjoy my powerful life a lot. 

Originally posted by hegodamask

I tag my empire babes: @solovalker @sitharmitage @boodhirooks @theprincessleia @oikenobi @stripperanakin @sithobi @kenrylo @delzinrowe @bradleeyjamess @crgana-leia @kokoiki @erosjyn @winteerfell @poefinn @anakinskywkler @a-nakins @amilyn @donna-troy @johnohboyega @lihgtsabers @cvssiansandors @carriefishrr @binarysunset and everyone else who wants to DEW IT. (sorry if I forgot to mention anyone. Know that I still appreciate you more than Maul #justsaying)


The Emperor


Kim Eunsoo (Model): Wow…. Xiumin really;;;;His looks are astounding TT

I fell in love.

EXO Hwaiting!

Soldier. I like EXO. 89-er. J-gun.

It's embarrassing to admit, but I started liking EXO after watching their Weekly Idol episode. I’m straight…. (but) Xiumin is my style. I thought he was a lot younger than me, but he’s actually the same age as me..

Fanaccount of 140113 Idol Star Olympics Championship

1. While they were playing futsal, a Xiumin fanboy behind me yelled “Xiumin hwaiting!!!!” He was really loud….kekekeke


…Somewhere above me, a fanboy yelled “Yah!!! Xiumin!!!!!!!” Xiumin turned his head our way and looked at him…kekekeke

Thai Fanboy

Q: I like EXO’s Xiumin.

Hello, I’m a guy and I’m the same age as Xiumin.

While I was on the internet, I came across some group called EXO that debuted a couple years ago?

When I looked them up, one member (Xiumin) really caught my eye….

Please understand..

Q: I’m a guy but I really like EXO’s Xiumin.

It’s just that Xiumin is so cute

and petite

that I want to protect him…

I really like him. What do I do?TT

I’m a guy but..I like Xiumin so much..that I’m about to go crazy….

Q: I think I’m about to be Xiumin’s fan.

My older sister’s obsessed with EXO, so I looked them up, and came across a picture of Xiumin….He was so adorable that I was dumbfounded for a few seconds and thought he was a girl. Honestly, he looked so cute (young-looking) that when I asked about his age, someone told me he was 24 years old? I couldn’t believe that he was older than me;;

EXO would like fanboys, right?… 

I’m a guy but I really like Xiumin

I’m a guy but I really like Xiumin. His smile is so adorable. I really like him.

Ah, I’m not Luhan.

My older brother is an obsessed Xiumin fanboy.

My older brother is a twenty two year old college student. He started liking Xiumin after watching “Wolf” on TV one day and now, he always watches Xiumin videos in his room until dawn. I can’t sleep because his room is next to mine. Recently, he’s also bought EXO’s Growl album in order to see Xiumin TT TT He even went to Myeongdong to buy a couple albums in order to go their fansign. Nowadays, he collects Xiumin photocards and spends 90% of what he earns from his part time job to find his photocards. He also had a girlfriend but he kept ignoring her for Xiumin, making excuses, breaking his promises, and ignoring her on kakaotalk….From the moment he wakes up (at 6am), he’s on his computer, looking up Xiumin stuff. In the afternoon, he tells me he’s going out to meet his friends but he goes out to buy hats and clothes that Xiumin wore before. After he comes back home, he goes back to looking at Xiumin stuff… He keeps telling me to like Xiumin as well (…) What should I do about this? I want my brother to leave the house and live on his own, but because he spends all of his money on Xiumin, he lives at home.. Plus, he’s also starting to like D.O and Baekhyun, and I think I’m about to go even crazier. Should I chase him out of the house? Whenever I’m about to sleep, I always hear “Hello, we are EXO! I am Xiumin!!!! Thank you~ Eureurongeureurong” from his room ….I’m even starting to memorize their songs TT TT TT

Somehow I became a fan…..

I don’t really understand myself .. I’ve never even liked a female idol this much before…

(I am a male student.)

I don’t understand why I search ‘Xiumin’ a couple times a day T T T

My friends think that I’m a bit weird.. /laughs/ I understand.


I always lurk around to see if there are other Xiumin fanboys. 


Do you guys think fanboys are weird? If you do, please don’t think that way~~ I feel lonely ^^

My older brother is a Xiumin fanboy

My brother is a 21 year old college student and lives at home… I’m so sick of him.. The reason why I got into Xiumin is because of my brother.. I can’t even sleep at night because I hear exo’s song and Xiumin’s voice coming from his room ..^^… He’s always watching exo’s variety shows and programs (…)

He has a girlfriend but I pity her. I want him to leave our house quickly…why did he pick a college that’s near our house?

Do you guys not like Xiumin’s fanboys?

Hello, I’m a Xiumin fanboy. I’m not gay. Please don’t think I’m weird because I’m a fanboy. I really like Xiumin hyung…

Girls fangirl over IU and Krystal so why can’t guys like male idols without being considered gay?


Ah~ I extremely like Xiumin


I failed my test… ah Xiumin

(curse) (Our) Minseok hyung…

Xiuming-hyung TT TT What do you think about fanboys?

Ha..I was a fanboy of Girl’s Day, but I feel like I fell into hell this time..It’s my first time liking a male idol like this TT.

Haa (curse) 


Girls think fanboys of male idols are gay? TT But girls fangirl over IU so why can’t guys like male idols without being considered gay?

Baozi-hyung TT TT TT TT TT TT

hangh TT TT TT

What am I supposed to do? I’ve fallen for you.

I always look for Xiumin-hyung on Nate Pann. 

It’s all because of Pann!!!! How can anybody not fall for you when there are so many ssibdukk** pictures of you (on the internet)?

Xiuming hyung. I love you ♥♥

**ssibdukk = charming (attractive, cute, pretty, etc.)

I’m a guy, but I really like Xiumin

Hello. I’m a normal junior high second year student.

This might seem really weird

But I really like Xiumin

I don’t think I’m gay..

It’s exam week, but I think I’m about to go crazy because of this hyung. His face is pretty… you guys (fangirls) understand, right? Xiumin’s appeal?

What do I do… What do I do..?

His shouting skill from Mama era is so cute.. My photo gallery is getting fuller and fuller (b/c of his pictures). Is there a way I can stop liking him?.. Because of Xiumin, I’m starting to like the other exo members. Chen hyung.. I really like Xiumin and Chen. What do I do.?

+) I have one more thing to say

Is it weird for fanboys to go to fansigns..?

Xiumin Fanboy kekekeke

I came from Sehun’s talk !!!!!

At my school, there’s a Xiumin fanboy


He resembles a bear, and he’s a bit plump and cute. He came to my classroom and turned on EXO’s radio appearance. When Xiumin said “honey~”, he shyly had his hands in front his mouth 

and kept saying “Oo-mini hyung…Oo-mini hyung. Xiumin TT TT kyahhh~~~~~~ You’re so cute TT TT”

Wow, seriously, Xiumin makes even guys fall for him…

Even though I’m a guy, I really like Xiumin

Hello, I’m a Xiumin fanboy (oong-nam)..

I don’t know when I started to like Xiumin, but I kept saving his pictures on my phone until one day, I found that I had 2000 pictures saved on my phone….I have a lot more on my computer.

What should I do? I’m not gay.

I only like Xiumin. My wallpaper, kakaotalk background, and phone theme are all Xiumin.

I never even thought a female idol was all that pretty before.  But when I saw his picture for the first time, I thought he was really pretty. 

One time, I pretended that I had a sister to buy his photo card. This is embarrassing to admit, but I even bought makeup to get his photocard.

What should I do .. I worried a lot about whether I should post this, but I decided to post this anyway. Do you think it’s weird that I like Xiumin?


130902 Sukira Radio Broadcast


Starts from 1:15 and ends at 3:03

R: What do you think about doing WGM?


R: Are there any celebrities that you want to be paired up with?

H: I don’t really know any female celebrities that well.

R: Me too.

H: But… you know… Ryeowook really takes care of exo.

R: Of course. Wait, does that mean you want to do WGM with an exo member?

H: I bet the viewer ratings would be really high then.

R + H: (laughs)

H: But, as you know, Ryewook really takes care of exo (…) Exo is our hoobae, but I’ve only seen them two times at weddings. Whenever they greet me, I always greet them back and run away because I haven’t learned all of their names (pause) but Xiumin!

R: Xiumin? Does that mean you want to do WGM with Xiumin?


R: You’re too much. People say that Xiumin looks like Sohee (T/N: Heechul is a huge Sohee fan)

H: Fine. Are you gonna go all out like that? Put me in the show with Xiumin. Add Sok-chun hyung (T/N: an openly gay celebrity) so we can make a love triangle. Call him!


Xiumin’s also a DBSK fanboy!



Pairings- Clint Barton x Reader

Requested by anon-  Could you please write a Clint Barton x reader where the reader is a new avenger and archer like clint and doesn’t talk to the Avengers and keeps to themselves and clint finds them shooting arrows and they grow close xx

Bear with me, I haven’t ever written Clint before. Plus this GIF is adorable. And also the one with the cat. The cat one is not relevant at all to the story. I just like that GIF.

Originally posted by pip-hamilton

Keep reading

Having A Child With Kai Would Include

Requests: “Having a child with Kai would include? PS: I adore your blog ( ˘ ³˘)❤” (Sorry its so long I just get carried away when I picture Kai with kids!) 

Having a child with Kai would include:

  • Going with you on your check ups
  • Asking the doctor lots of questions
  • “Oh my god, is that its head?” 
  • Getting everything you need when you’re tired or hungry
  • “Oh my god its kicking.” He smiles and rubs his palm over your stomach
  • Freaking out on the delivery day
  • “Can I hold her?” When he sees your baby girl wrapped in her blanket
  • “We made this.” He smiles at you
  • Your newborn wrapping her hand around his finger
  • Catching him asleep stretched out on the sofa with your newborn across his chest sleeping as well
  • “Don’t eat that! She’s so much like me as a kid, Y/N help me!” He yells but you only laugh at him
  • “Mommy, Daddy lets get a puppy!” 
  • Kai having someone to teach magic to
  • Her favorite magic trick happens to be when Kai lights candles with a ‘secret spell’ he claims as he teases her
  • “Daddy, show me a magic trick!” 
  • “Sorry, Sweetheart but a magician never reveals their tricks.” 
  • Your child always getting confused when Kai shaves or grows his facial hair out
  • “That’s not daddy!” She cries and pushed her unshaven father away from her
  • “Kai tell your offspring I said no!” You yell but Kai gives permission anyway
  • Spoiling your only child with whatever she wants because he got nothing as a child
  • “Daddy you bought me a teddy bear?!” She cheers and claps her hands
  • “Of course, for my little snuggle buddy.” Because she always cuddles with her father while watching her cartoons on the sofa
  • Finally telling your child what Kai actually is
  • “Dad, tell me the story behind all of your rings.” 
  • “Dad why does my nose bleed when I practice some of your spells?” 
  • “You have to get stronger, my spells take a lot of practice.” 
  • “Y/N lets have another.” 
  • “Another?” You gasp
  • “If you ever hurt my daughter, I swear I will track your ass down and kill you.” 
Miroku Theory

Okay, so since I am still slaving away over some really difficult MirSan art, and it’s going to be a while before it’s complete, and since this stuff has caused me to think a lot about the couple and it’s parts, I have started to develop a theory about Miroku that is less harsh than “he’s a pervert.” I get defensive of my SINnamon roll because he’s so much more than that.

When I was a younger person watching Inuyasha, I was like “Man, he has some awful impulse control.” Like, he knows he’s going to get hit or yelled at, but he does it anyway. Sure he’s a ladies man and a flirt, but the groping is something else. Is he really that depraved? Really?

I think not, and I think a lot of it can be gathered from Kagome’s dialogue about him. Kagome, in her narration of episodes and some of her inner dialogue refers to Miroku as a jokester. Someone who is insincere.

Now, not supporting the inappropriate touching, because even as a joke that’s not okay, but I definitely think this could be an explanation for SOME of his grope-y behavior. He’s not sick and twisted. He’s being a clown.

It becomes clear that he uses his humor defensively whenever he starts to feel the feels for Sango. In the episode after she finds out Kohaku is still Naraku’s puppet, she’s tending to a poisoned Miroku and he wakes up and tells her that she shouldn’t give up hope and that she needs to keep fighting. Now this could be part of his hamming it up OR it could be that he said that, saw her reaction, and thought “Oh, shit I have said too much,” because immediately after he pretends to pass out and then strokes her bum. He has a pattern of interacting with Sango that way where he says his feelings and then tries to cover it up.

I could be wrong. Maybe he really is a sex crazed freak, but I find it hard to believe that two strong, feminist women like Kagome and Sango would give him the time of day if he was actually a fiend. This explanation makes more sense in relation to his other qualities. He’s above all things compassionate and caring, but he’s troubled, and it’s so much easier to live if he hides the pain behind the inappropriate humor.

His behavior slows down entirely as he openly acknowledges his feelings for Sango. Toward the end of the series, not much of that happens at all. He learned that she was there for him and his friends were there for him too. He began to actually feel happy without pretending. Sure, he’s still flirty and mischievous, but it’s way different from the Miroku we see early on, suggesting it’s not a character deficit, but a coping problem.