Hi am ollie 1 year ago today I got to home from cat hospital bc I wuz very sick and needed the operation and my hooman servants had to spoon feed me hooman baby food (yum!) but am all better now and adored more than ever
I’m sure I’ve posted this before, but I still love the headcanon that right after Sailor V joins the team and is like, “Guess what! I’m the Moon Princess!” and everyone’s all “sounds legit. You look like a moon princess to me” that they’re all hanging out having a Senshi meeting or something and Rei gets a kind of thoughtful look on her face like when you’re brain is j u s t walking into some fridge logic and she’s like
“Wait. So what does the V stand for?”
And Minako’s just like, “Um…? It’s, um-? What?”
And Rei’s like, “You know? Sailor V? Why V?”
and this is manga-Minako so her English is notsogood, so she’s like Fuck Fuck, words that start with V??? And she’s looking at Artemis like (you little fucker you came up with the codename in the first place you couldn’t have picked something more subtle there is literally only one planet that starts with V and it isn’t the goddamn moon) and he’s like “don’t look at me, I honestly didn’t expect any of these Japanese kids to notice” and they are both under-the-radar panicking and then all of the sudden Ami is like
“Oh! It’s the roman numeral for five! Because you’re the fifth and final soldier, who originally was our princess!”
And Minako is just like Yep, That’s It, Wow You’re Smart, So Good For Catching On, That Has Definitely Always Been The Explanation The Whole Time.
like weeks after the Dark Kingdom debacle is good and dealt with Ami wakes up in the middle of the night, remembers this, and smacks herself in the face.
Hello! Name is Cooppurr! Hoomon bring me home four years ago when i wuz tiny katten! Hoomon wuz very sad. Culd not go school, or work sometimes. Sumtimes not even able to get out of bed! Hoomons says that bring me home to help hoomon feel better! Taking care of me help hoomon get out of bed, and doo tings! Now am four, and hoomon is much happyer, and gets out bed! Hoomon still bugs me a lots, but becuz helps hoomon feel better, let hoomon bug sumtimes. Am good cat, sakrifice to help hoomon feel better.
If I constantly talk about being ex-Mormon it’s because even eight years after leaving the church I constantly find myself in situations where I’m sure I’d know what the social norm is if I hadn’t been raised Mormon, but because I was I have no idea what’s appropriate.
“tommy honey - but did u have FUN” - not the babbitt the other tom - this aint no mpd or nothin - u hadda been there - took a foto - but - it did ant come out - we sung loud - and he pete townsend the mic stand - wait that was last month - when i wuz still playin - last night it was peas full like a jolly green giant - trance ended - dinner to bring home - just missed the bus - but a taxi yes ( t dont uber ever) - there waiting - is the music 2 loud - nah turn it up man - aretha on - then van - turn it louder so u dont here me singin - u might get disgusted - keep the change theres no meter - rhyming not so much - bout the kitty or nothin - doing arrangements - in my head always - they always sound different - past echoes and reverb - start thinking bout the strange - i could blame the acid - but it started before that - by a long shot - but that would be a digress shun the thought - this is just a snap chat
I’m so glad I never personally went through the temple. I’m so glad I decided I needed to part ways with the church before getting to that step.
What’s funny, and what I’m not sure I’ve ever told anyone, is when I decided to leave, just out of high school and still basically a kid, four different adult women who were (at the time) all active in the church (and one of whom was the wife of a high-ranking local leader) - told me separately and in private, in whispers in the vitamin aisle at the grocery store or asides at a mutual friend’s Christmas party, that they were happy for me that I’d figured it out so young. They didn’t say “I don’t believe any more” per se. But they did say, “I’m glad you’re getting out now, before you’ve made any commitments that are difficult to take back.” One of them later left the church. I think the rest are still in, to one degree or another. Though I could be wrong. I never kept in touch.
I think about them a lot.
My adolescent years in the church were all me pushing from one milestone to the next, trying to find the deeper truth that I had been told and believed would be there if I was just dedicated enough. If I just searched, pondered, and prayed with genuine openness and intent. Maybe that deeper knowledge would be in Young Women’s. Okay, not Beehives, but maybe higher? Maybe I would find that celestial insight in my Patriarchal Blessing. Maybe Young Women’s is too basic for me, and when I get to Relief Society. Well of course Relief Society isn’t speaking to me - it’s all about husbands and children! Maybe in the Singles Ward I will get the deep sustaining discussion and inspiration I’m looking for (I’ll ask the Bishop if I can start attending early, even though they usually have you wait a year after high school graduation).
The Singles Ward was just unpleasant. Everything wrong with the church was just amplified once the community was made so noticeably small, and men ten years or more my senior looking at me like the fresh meat on the market didn’t help. But I still thought the problem was with me. If the church was supposed to be the deepest truth, why did everything there - from its perspectives on morality to its explanations of the world and expectations for life - feel so incomplete and shallow?
In the months before I left I often thought, “Maybe I should just go to the temple.” God, I’m so glad mission ages weren’t younger then. I absolutely would have gone, or at least planned for it. I might have, mission call in hand, seen the temple, what actually happens there, and then immediately left the church. Or, because I’d made commitments, I might have tried for the mission and failed partway through. I can’t imagine I would have succeeded on a mission, especially after going through that charade.
I had the temple built up so high in my mind. There- there was where I’d find the real truth I was looking for. But you don’t usually go through the endowment ceremony unless you’re getting married or going on a mission. I genuinely was considering asking for special permission to attend the temple early, in the time soon before I left. It seemed so clear to me that there was some gap between what the church was claiming to be, what it was promising, and what I was experiencing. I just needed more knowledge. I just needed more light. The temple was where everything would be explained and I might finally understand.
I think if I had gone through I would have been devastated.
I think I would have cried that that’s what it was about, that that’s the supposed high profound thing… and it’s just reinforcements of gender roles and recited prayers. (I thought we didn’t have recited prayers? I thought that made us special!) I think the portrayal of Eve, who I had a lot of feelings about, would have gutted me. And having to wear a veil. And needing a man to get to heaven. I would have felt so stupid, and small. That there were only two choices: either everything I’d lived for was just hokey nonsense, or that I myself was designed to be secondary and servile for eternity and all the parts of me that wanted more were broken or evil.
I’m glad I found out about the temple when I did, the way I did. I’m glad I only saw it after I had some distance from the church. It hurts to think about how confusing and upsetting it would have been if I had found out what happens in the temple while hoping and believing it would be the most exalted experience I could have on earth, that would separate me in wisdom and knowledge from all but a lucky few.
“I’m glad you’re getting out now”, I was told, secretly, privately, over and over when I left just around my 19th birthday. It’s better, I was told, to get out young. And I was confused, though happy to have found silent support when I was getting so much loud and public pushback from my family and leaders.
But ten years later I get it. I’m glad I left when I did too. I’m glad I didn’t cling to something longer, let it devastate me or mislead me any more than it already had. I’m glad I didn’t waste time serving a mission. I’m glad I didn’t marry someone and have babies only to realize my mistake once a family is relying on me to be who and what I’d promised to be while I was still a kid thinking her parents couldn’t be wrong about something so big.
I’m glad some part of me switched to “no, this can’t be right” before I’d gone a single step further into the church. And I’m so, so glad I never went through the temple.
My transition wasn’t easy, but it could have been so much more painful.
it’s like 6 am and I’ve been awake for three hours let me tell you a Sailor Moon thing I love
so the dark kingdom arc ends and it’s an unexpected hit and they’re getting a new season and everyone’s running around with their heads cut off because SHIT SHIT and in the midst of all this some executive is like
look we can’t forget the most important part of this is the merch
so Naoko my buddy
and Naoko is like “I haven’t slept in months and I’m writing weird sleep deprived stories that only half make sense that people will be overanalyzing like the unerring bible for decades. What the fuck do you want”
and the exec is all look you gotta make us some new transformation baubles to sell to the kiddos like just real quick please ‘cause toys
and Naoko is like
And so all the girls get new transformation thingies. No more transformation pens. Say hello to the star power stick. And how do the girls get their star power sticks?
Luna just finds them under a couch or smth
and just hands them over in the least plotty, most cavalier scene of possibly the entire series
here have some sticks I guess
It’s not a power upgrade/emotional scene where they’re too weak and the wands appear to them. They aren’t bestowed to them by Queen Serenity, or summoned by friendship.
Luna was just like “oh yeah I forgot, we have spare sticks. you know, like people just keep around”
and so like, this is fucking ripe for improvement in adaptation. The R series needed to stall for time to allow Naoko to write, right? So maybe they add a subplot, beef this up a bit…
NOPE! “look, sticks” - Luna. Who just has a bunch of magic space sticks lying around, apparently.
And of course in Crystal
no one asks where she got them, no one is curious at their existence, there is no swell of music or anyone sensing a new immense power