i wrote this after seeing something similar on someone elses blog

That’s My Girl : Ashton Blurb

I wrote something in order to keep this video easily accessible on my blog. It’s a self-defense demonstration of what to do if you’re being attacked by someone with the intent to rape. I know this kind of stuff can trigger certain emotions or make people uncomfortable, but I encourage all of you to watch the video anyway and practice it to get a feel for the movements on the awful chance that you ever find yourself in a similar situation. I want you guys to be as prepared and safe as possible. 

 "I hate this.“ 

“I know, but I need to practice.“ 

Ashton lets out an uneasy sigh, knowing you’re right. Of course he full heartedly supported your idea when you told him you wanted to sign up for a self-defense class, he just didn’t take into consideration that you’d have homework requiring him to play the role of the bad guy. He doesn’t like pretending to attack you, or the thought of doing something to you that you wouldn’t want, and especially can’t stand the notion of someone else being in his place with a genuine mission to hurt you. 

 Reluctantly, he repositions himself between your clothed legs, but you have to force him to move a little closer in order for the scenario to be more realistic.

"Okay, now you’re gonna come forward,” you instruct. 

He hesitantly leans over you, placing his hands on either side of your head.

“More than that,” you say, “You’re supposed to not let me get away." 

"But I want you to get away." 

"Ashton, come on." 

He takes another moment to mope before doing what you told him to. 


"That’s good. You can sit up." 

He’s quicker to do that. 

 "Now come at me again,” you say with a wiggle of your hips, preparing yourself. “Faster this time." 

As simple as his part is, he takes forever to do it. Slowly he lowers himself over you, and your hands fly up to catch his shoulders, repeating what you learned in class by wrapping your fingers around the prominent muscles. 

 "That wasn’t fast,” you rebuke, pushing him away. “You think I’ll get attacked in slow motion?" 

"I told you I don’t like this." 

"Do you want me to practice with someone else?" 

"No,” he answers without thought. 

“Then take this seriously,” you plea, shooting him puppy eyes. 

He sees how much his participation means to you, and tries to adjust his attitude. He’s not actually harming you, he reminds himself, just helping you in a way he’s not exactly comfortable with. 

“Ready?” he asks lightly. 

You nod. 

At a much faster pace he performs the motion you need him to, and you catch his shoulders again, straightening your arms. On the ground you turn your body and bring one of your legs up, pressing the bottom of your foot against his hip, then center yourself and bring up the other. Your hands fall from his shoulders to his elbows, and you feel pretty good about how you managed to get there. 

“Now pull back,” you advise. 

He tries to do so but you catch his wrists, holding him in an unbalanced spot, then kick your leg up, just barely missing his head. He flinches, both surprised and impressed by your success at turning the situation around. 

“Boom,” you say cockily, relaxing your ankle on his shoulder. 

He can’t help but smile, a sense of pride surging through his chest. You got him. Ashton shrugs off your ankle and places it back on the floor, curling it around his thigh. 

“Do it again,” he says, “and actually kick me this time." 

"What? No." 

"You think you can get away by just pretending?” he uses your logic from earlier. 

“I’m not gonna kick you in the face,” you argue. 

“Then somewhere else,” he settles. “Just get me off of you.”

And with that being said, he lunges at you again. You act quick to stop him from coming all the way down, going rapidly through the same motions as before. When you’re able to pull your leg into use, you skip kicking his chin and aim for his chest instead, right in the center of his torso. When that weakens him you drive your other foot into his stomach, and Ashton goes tumbling to the floor. 

You sit up, afraid you’ve hurt him. His hand rubs over the part of his chest that fell victim to your heel, aching for his breath to catch up after having the wind knocked out of him. 

“Ash?” you worry. 

He groans his response, but it gets mixed in with a strained chuckle. 

“That’s my girl.”


K-Fans analysis: KADI Jagiya moment




Do y’all remember this moment?

Some of you are skeptical (“hm perhaps he did call Kyungsoo jagi”), some of you don’t believe in it (“nah man that’s just ur delu instinct”), some of you totally buy it (“fuck yeh he did call him that”).

That’s why now we’re gonna discussing about this moment.

This analysis is taken from naver blog; http://blog.naver.com/illibell97/220379341693 written by kfans.

So, to those who said that only international fans make theories, mate you need to leave the rock you have been living under and go fucking expand your knowledge.

Lots of fucking clueless people act like they know shit these days (even tho I’m in delu team I’ve never claimed my words as facts, but these ‘ohemgee we r so smert, we know stuffs’ people dare to do that shit even tho they don’t have any proof to back up their irrational statements hm nice confident you have there)

Oh, btw I want to confess about something first.

2 days after the DP news in April, someone sent me the link of this naver blog.

I didn’t understand shit that was written there (I knew the naver post was talking about KADI etc, but I didn’t know what the hell the post’s precise topic) and bc of that this person translated it for me.

I wanted to post it right away, but she was like, “nah man shit is on fire now, wait until things calm down” and ofc I complied.

So it means I have been hiding this material for a month from y’all.

Damn I’m actually a bit shady too lelelelelel. Wut other shit do I hide from y’all hm I wonder ah fuck im being shady again lelelelelelel nah man i know nothing


This is just fans analysis, mkay?

So if some hoes complain about the shit i post istg I will—

—sigh… nah man I won’t do anything bc I’ve already run out of fuck to give.

Like really really really run out of fuck to give. My fuck-o-meter is at its lowest point now.

I’d prob read the complaint/rant, breathe out some air from my lungs through my nose in less than a second duration (to show the world how fucking amused I am by the totally not-boring and not-repetitive words of complaint), then move on with my life.

It’s not like you complainers pay my internet bills. 

Why should I give a fuck about your bitching anyway? If u don’t like it then don’t read it lelelelelelelelelelel (motherfucking block me bruh)




- I’m going to refer the person who wrote the blog’s content as OP (Original Poster) – also OP is Korean, means OP’s native language is Korean, means OP knows shit about his/her language.

- OP put a disclaimer on her post, because it’s just a mere fan’s analysis after all, like I’ve stated above. DON’T FORGET THIS YOU COMPLAIN-FUCK-ER.

- The key points that you need to pay attention on the video are: Jongin’s mouth and Suho’s [pissed off] expression.

- Also my engriseu is not always on point – so do pardon me for any errors. Not all people speak/write like Queen Elizabeth II of UK.

- And for the people who don’t know; 자기야 (‘jagiya’ | ‘chagiya’, but since ‘cha’ sounds similar with ‘ja’, people use ‘jagiya’ as the romanization version of it) means darling/honey/sweetheart that you can use it to your boyfriend/girlfriend – and the shortened term of it is 자기‘jagi’ (google translate this shit if u don’t believe me)

Let’s watch the video.

This is kfans analysis;

The words below are NOT the exact translation of the analysis on the picture.

The picture (statement) above was the original analysis.

This is basically what OP said;

“We can see Jongin’s lips formed, like he was saying ‘a-i’   – that means “kid” in Korean.

But if we look at the HD version of the video, there was a consonant too before the ‘a-i.’

1. jongin looked around before saying anything and covered his mouth to the audience

2. whatever jongin called kyungsoo, it’s something that only kyungsoo knows he calls him like a nickname or based on the mouth, in korean language, it can only be one word - jagi.

3. junmyeon’s reaction is enough to raise suspicion and why he glared at jongin only AFTER he said the word, but not before.”


Let’s elaborate some shit.

1— In the beginning of the video Jongin was looking around before he turned to face Kyungsoo.

Then he lifted up his right hand to cover his mouth. His hand indicates he was creating a personal space. He was being secretive, he didn’t want the crowd’s gaze “invade” him.

Then he said something, and Kyungsoo turned to face him.

It’s clear that he didn’t say “Kyungsoo” or “D.O” or “Hyung” if we look at his mouth.

So how did Kyungsoo know Jongin was calling him? 

Why Kyungsoo turned around to face Jongin?

Lay and PCY were standing on the same line (as Kyungsoo – Kyungsoo was standing between them), but they didn’t look at Jongin / didn’t respond to Jongin’s call.

With just one look and one word from Jongin, Kyungsoo immediately turned his head to face to Jongin.

The person who sent me this shit said something like this;

“It’s a bit odd that Kyungsoo immediately turned around. From what I’ve heard our subconscious mind will hear if we’re being called if we are already familiar with the name (nickname).”

It means whatever word Jongin was using to call Kyungsoo at that time has been used for a long time. In other words Kyungsoo is used (already familiar) to be called with that name/nickname/word by Jongin.

2— Previously it has been stated by OP that Jongin’s mouth was forming the ‘a-i’ shape. OP also has stated that ‘a-i’ mouth-shaped means Jongin was saying “kid”.

In Korean language, if you want to get kid’s attention, you don’t say ‘a-i’ to call them. 

You would say ‘ae-ya’ instead bc ‘a-i’ is only being used to describe “kid”

아이‘a-i’ is a noun and it means “kid”.  

That word is only used to describe a kid, like “this is a dog” kinda shit. Not to call them. Do you call your dog; “dog”? No. Because that’s a lame ass name and it shows how uncreative you are as a pet owner

Also on the other hand, without this ‘a-i’ vs ‘ae-ya’ thingy, this shit is already suspicious enough bc;

Why on earth Jongin called Kyungsoo as kid? Kyung is older than him.

So the possibility of Jongin called Kyungsoo as “kid” (‘a-i’) is zero (due to the reasons that have been stated above).

Thus it means Jongin did call Kyungsoo as something else, and it’s not ‘a-i’ but a word that includes ‘a-i’ vowels and a consonant word.

According to OP, the consonant is ‘J’ [ㅈ]. Why? It’s like this… Jongin only said a word with two syllables, right? ‘???’ consonant + ‘a-i’ vowels

Apparently according to OP the only (2 syllables) word that exists in Korean language that’s able to use this combination (‘???’ consonant + ‘a-i’ vowels) is only jagi. Therefore why OP said the consonant is ‘J’.

Obviously idk shit about korean language, but im gonna trust OP’s explanation about this Korean consonant/vowels/syllable thingy.

3— Now let’s talk about Suho’s expression.

Suho stuttered when he said the introduction (9 – 11 secs)

“Our members will…” he turned around during this part and saw Jongin facing Kyungsoo’s direction (he was still smiling).

“Introdu-” this is when Jongin said something to call Kyungsoo, look at Suho’s face.

“-ce ourselves now…” Suho moved down his mic and looked back at the translator (according to people who have attended the concert the translator would often stand not too far away from them)

Then he looked at Jongin and Kyungsoo. His face looked displeased. He looked pissed off imo.

Why would his expression turned weird when he saw Jongin called Kyungsoo, and why he checked on the translator after Jongin called Kyungsoo?

This means Jongin did say something that shouldn’t be said on stage. If it was regular/harmless nickname Suho wouldn’t react this way.

I conclude this yeh, Jongin did call Kyungsoo jagi. But im crazy so….lel

Also, when KADI leaned towards each other to whisper, Suho looked at the crowd – look at his expression, he looked concerned/worried. 

Imo he was looking for cameras, fans always bring that long-big ass camera to the concert to get HD picts / fancams of their idols. But why?

Ah, another thing, OP also stated something like this (if it isn’t written on the screenshot, then just open the link to see OP’s statement – it’s in Korean tho, obviously, duh).

“My sister who works in media and went to Exo’s concert said that she finds it peculiar…

When Kaisoo would whsiper, Jongin would be mindful of the mic, and they always turn off their hand mics, and they push away face mics.

Other members don’t do that. That’s why when they’re doing ments, you can sometimes hear what the other members are saying.

At that time, everyone was arguing it wasn’t jagi but tbh I thought it is.

Everyone was arguing it wasn’t, all international fans (the majority of international fans said it wasn’t), so I just kept quiet. I think this is the same for all translators too.”


If y’all gonna bitch about this post – go ahead man, fucking do it. DO IT. 

Translation: ZEAL LINK Personal Interview - Omi

While she’s wild and aggressive onstage, when Omi’s offstage, she is reserved and speaks few words. What does she have to say about why she met the band, and as the guitarist of exist†trace, what messages is she trying to transmit? This shell-shocking personal interview talks about things that “have never been talked about before,” and reaches profoundly into deep territory.

Keep reading


➥ I’ll be sure to add new stories accordingly 

 all credit to gif owners, gifs are not mine in this post nor in any

stories are listed by member, length genre, and then by order in which written/posted

I write (or will/am willing to write) for 

⇝ got7
⇝ bts
⇝ seventeen

I do not take requests seeing as I do not frequently post, but if you really want you can send me an ask concerning a situation you may like to see and with whom. I do not promise to fulfill every suggestion, and reserve the right to change pieces of each suggestion such as plot twists or which idol they are about

 plagiarism note:

I post purely out of my own want to share with others the fictional material that I write. If you see something in my fics that sounds similar to another fic, please message me. The first fic I posted on this blog was accidentally plagiarized because I wrote something similar to another author’s fic. She was kind enough to let it slide once I deleted it. I do not want this to happen again. It’s hard to come up with your own ideas but stealing others’ is not okay. Also please message me if you see someone else writing something similar to my work. Once again, I only post for the enjoyment of others. I do not post for notes and recognition. Granted, it is nice, but at the end of the day I write what I want simply because I want to– sharing the material on tumblr is a privilege that will be taken away if others begin to post my fics and claim as their own. To ensure I keep posting, please notify me if you see anything akin to the previously stated. This is all I ask of you as a reader. (But feedback is always appreciated too!)

⊗ key

[ m ] sexual content

[ au ] alternate universe

[ a ] angst

[ f ] fluff


i m   j a e b u m // j b


➥ empty [ 1.5k ] a : only after you walk out of his life does he notice the color you brought to it.


➥ only mine  [ 5k ] f, m : jaebum getting too comfortable with other girls? You don’t think so.

➥ pull of the moon [ 8k ] (werewolf!)au, m : jaebum makes sure he’s far away from you for when the heat cycle strikes, but just when he thinks your friendship is safe from his monstrous hormones there you are at his doorstep.

m a r k   t u a n


➥ roommate troubles  [ 6k ] (college!)au, f, m : a sock on the doorknob means they’re at it again… and it also means an excuse for mark to see you.


j o s h u a   h o n g // j i s o o


heartbeat  [ .5k ] f : joshua discovers his new favorite song.

Time Management Study Hacks

In school and uni, it’s crucial to have good time management and save as much time as possible, especially if you have loads of classes with loads of assessment. If you can totally relate to what I’m saying, I’ve got a list of hacks for you that will make the process SO much easier.

  • Break down your assignment into the amount of days you have to do it 

Maybe I should explain it better… First, count the realistic amount of dates you have to do the assignment between the day that you’re given it and the day it’s due. Then, write down every single tiny detail you need to do on the assignment, from reading the task sheet to printing. Now split the list into the the amount of days you have to do it. Each day you do the small amount of work on the assignment that you wrote down to do, this way you know you’ll get it all done in time. (Tips: Don’t count the due date if you know that it has to be done before class. Also, factor in the draft date or any times you think that you might want to hand in extra drafts if you’re allowed)

For Example: You have 30 days to do your assignment in. Only 25 of those are able to be dedicated to working on the assignment. 

You have to read and understand the task, brainstorm, make points of evidence, create a plan, create a structure for each paragraph, find research, find quotes, write a thesis, write an intro, write 3 body paragraphs, write a linking paragraph, write a bibliography, proof read, edit, give it to someone else to proof read, edit again, print and staple. 

Day 1: Read and understand, brainstorm. Day 2:  Make points of evidence. Day 3: Create a plan, create paragraph structure. Day 4: Find research. Day 5: Find research. Day 6: Find quotes. Day 7: Write a thesis. Day 8: Write intro. Day 9: Write body paragraph 1. Day 10: Write body paragraph 1. Day 11: Write body paragraph 2. Day 12: Write body paragraph 2. Day 13: Write body paragraph 3. Day 14: Write body paragraph 3. Day 15: Write linking paragraph. Day 16: Write bibliography. Day 17: Proof read. Day 18: Edit. Day 19: Edit. Day 20: Give it to someone else. Day 21: Edit. Day 22: Edit. Day 23: Print and Staple. AND THEN YOU’RE DONE BY DAY 24. 

  • Have a plan for your exams

This is kind of similar to the previous one. If you know roughly what your exam is going to be on and how long you’ve got, you can split your time up into small blocks, according to what has to be done. 

For Example: You have a 2 hour math exam. Imagine that each grade standard or difficulty level of a question is a number (D standard is 1, C standard is 2, B standard is 3, A standard is 4) (Sorry if you don’t have that system where you live, but i know that QLD does and that’s where I am so…) 

Each number is worth 2 mins (D standards take 2 mins, C standards take 4 mins, B standards take 6 mins, A standards take 8 mins) Theres usually 2x D standards, 3x C standards and 4x B and A standards. The amount of working all up should take about an hour which means, you have an hour for reading the questions and reading back over at the end. 

  • Prioritise your study, homework and assignments

It’s pretty straightforward. The assignments, homework and exams that are due first go higher on your list. Work day by day and then class by class, figuring out when you can work on each assessment piece and for how long before you work on the next one. If it’s due the next day or the day after, you need to finish it before anything else. If you have some study for an exam and some homework to do that is both for the same day, look at which class and do them in that order. 

It’s basically just looking forward in your calendar and seeing when your stuff is due and doing it in that order. 

  • Make the draft like a final

WRITE A GOOD DRAFT AND YOU’LL HAVE LESS WORK TO DO ON YOUR FINAL. IT’S AS SIMPLE AS THAT. If you make the draft complete and perfect, including edits and proof reading, you’ll avoid making tiny errors that the teacher will have to correct. It means that the teacher can focus on improving the arguments and the structure, not the way you spelt a word thats not even crucial to the essay. 


anonymous asked:

McKirk AU where Bones has a blog and is writing about stuff and maybe also Jim and Jim finds it someday? (Your AUs are so great, I fell so much in love with them)

  • Writing comes surprisingly easy to Bones, and just such a nice way to kill time. It’s also a nice way to write out some of that pent up anger inside of him, so that Bones actually knows how to cope with his idiot crew a lot better. He writes everything under a false name, changes all names, and posts them on his personal blog. Never any photos, never a mention of the Enterprise. The closest he’ll go to revealing people is naming them Captain, and sometimes The Vulcan, in lieu for anything else. He writes every weight off his shoulders, and it helps. Some days he writes about how much it frustrates him that his Captain is continuously skipping medical checkups (”which were scheduled two months in advance. Two. Months. How do you even miss something I’ve set at least four calendar warnings for?”), other days he writes about how much he appreciates his crew being around (”Nurse C got me a bottle of nicely aged whiskey. After Captain saved our ship – and everyone on it – he’ll probably appreciate drinking it with me. He’s not all bad.”). He doesn’t really tag anything either, so he has no idea how his blog suddenly grows in followers so much. He’s getting an increasing amount of feedback and comments (”How is the lil’ Navigator?” “I can’t believe The Vulcan really said that.”), and it occupies quite a few of Bones’ nights when he’s not hanging out with Jim.
  • All goes well until someone on the Enterprise catches a whiff of Bones’ blog. Bones overhears a few ensigns talk about how the Captain on the blog is eerily similar to Captain Kirk, and Bones instantly panics because what if they find out? Jim, of all people, because Bones has a habit of rambling on about his Captain unnecessarily long, but his readers seem to enjoy it at least, because they’re always commenting about the captain, even going as far as (“So how long have you two been dating?”).
  • But of course Jim finds out about it. Bones is napping on his couch when his doors slide open and Jim bursts through the door. “Are we not dating?” Jim asks, and Bones raises an eyebrow as he sits up straight. “What?” “Your blog.” “… what?” Jim sits down next to Bones on the couch, showing Bones his PADD. “You’re Doctor Bones. Really, your blog name isn’t that secretive.” Jim points out, throwing his legs over Bones’ lap as he’s reciting some of Bones’ earlier entrees. “Can’t believe you wrote about me.” Jim says, and Bones groans and rubs his temples. “Listen, Jim-” “You never write about any of our late night rendez-vous, maybe you should,” Jim says, surprisingly calm under all of this. “I’m not writing about us hooking up. How did you even find this?” “Some Ensign gave me the link and I read it all. Wasn’t hard to figure out it was you, I mean, if you were any less subtle about the ship and the crew you’d note down my log codes.” Jim says, “so I asked you how long we’d been together, and you said we weren’t at all.” “That was you?” "Yeah, and see, it got a lot of likes,“ Jim says, holding the PADD up. “I saw,” Bones says, “I gotta quit my blog.” “What? Why? I love reading it,” Jim says, shifting so he’s leaning against Bones’ chest. Jim’s very good at invading himself into Bones’ personal space, and he’s also the only person who’s allowed to do so. “I loved the one when you were angry at Spock for calling you out on your shitty chess games,” Jim laughs, “which, to be fair to Spock, are pretty shitty.” “Shut up,” Bones says, slowly sliding his arm around Jim’s shoulder, and he watches Jim scroll through endless rows of text. “… And this one, when you were on shore leave for two weeks to be at Jo’s parent-teacher night. You missed me.” “I never wrote I missed you,” Bones counters, and Jim just smiles. “You can tell, though.“ 
  • “Why don’t you tell me all these things in person?” Jim asks later, when they’re lying in bed together. “What things?” Bones asks, eyes already closed, “are you still thinking about the blog?” “Obviously,” Jim says. “I tell you all of that in person, too,” Bones replies. “Just not as beautifully worded.” “That ain’t who I am,” Bones says, “You get real. Online gets thought-through sentences.” “Hm,” Jim just hums, his hand gently running over Bones’ naked chest. “I do like real.” “I prefer real, too,” Bones says, and Jim smiles. Even when it’s not written in this perfectly written form, well thought out and probably rephrased countless times, Bones knows just what to say to him to make Jim feel good about himself.
  • For the first time ever, Bones’ blog entry is just a photo. Of Bones asleep in bed, all messy hair and a stubble on his cheeks. Jim’s awake, though barely so when he takes that photo. He’s in there, too, eyes squinted from his phone’s screen, hair equally messy, chest equally naked. It’s not even a flattering selfie, but it’s one he uploads to Bones’ blog nonetheless. It’s just a simple: ”Message from the Captain“, and ”we are absolutely dating“. It’s the most liked-thing on Bones’ already popular blog. It’s also the last thing on Bones’ blog. Bones simply dubs it a happy ending, and leaves it at that. Because at the end of the day, nothing beats real
The Lying Detective/Scheria

We focus on Sherlock, of course we do, because he’s the hero and because he’s interesting and unpredictable and always this close to falling apart in some way that, we know, will be catastrophic for everyone. So we look at him hallucinating a childhood long past and we marvel at him being all soft with this woman he doesn’t remember and we listen to him shouting Shakespearean verses with a gun in his hand and we look, most of all, at how the world literally revolves around him, turning and spinning on its axis until Sherlock decides he’s human, after all, and finally goes to sleep like the curly-haired, tantrum-prone toddler he is.

But the story, we know, is really about John, because this is normally his story: he’s the narrator, and he’s the one who helps us to make sense of this world of mirrors and weird crimes we’ve stepped into. And we know precisely how much we owe him, because without him, nothing makes any sense (look at TAB) - which is why the tragedy of Mary’s death is tragic not only for the very real, tangible loss John experienced, but for this other thing he lost: his wish to tell stories (his wish, in the end, to be himself).

I called this meta Scheria because John is not the first character to face this particular challenge. When Odysseus comes to Nausicaa’s island, Scheria, he’s been through ten years of war and ten years of weirdness, cannibalism and mindfucking. Nausicaa finds him alone and naked, because that’s who our character is, at that point: not a warrior, not a king, not a pirate; not the commander of a ship, and not even someone who has a wife and a father and a son and friends in distant lands. No, after so many years of blood and loss, Odysseus has finally become the fabric of his own lies: he is No One. If he’d been shipwrecked on Ithaca instead of Scheria, he certainly wouldn’t have had the strength to reclaim his throne, or the confidence to attempt it. But, luckily for him, Scheria is not an island of monsters. Nausicaa may be a ‘burner of ships’, as her name implies, but the world she welcomes Odysseus into will put him back together, because in Scheria, thousands of years before Freud sat down and decided talking out loud was a kind of therapy, Odysseus is invited to tell his story, and it is because he tells his story that this nameless castaway becomes himself again. As he talks - and he talks a lot, by the way: his tale is a long as a professional poet’s, and full of monsters and beauty and sex - Odysseus seems to become the person he was when he first left for Troy. A strong, dangerously smart king who’s not afraid to fight for what’s his and loves his wife more than anything.

(I’ll stop here because it seems decent, but I literally wrote papers about this stuff and I could talk all day about The Odyssey, so if you’re interested send me an ask.)

Now, John is going through a similar thing at the beginning of TLD: he’s shipwrecked and alone, completely separated from the people who used to give meaning to his life and define his place in the world. His wife is dead, he can’t be a father to Rosie, he has no friends he can be open with (nobody, after all, seems to even know he’s seeing a therapist) and, most of all, he’s completely cut Sherlock out of his life. 

But if this is the episode John is completely broken, it’s also the episode he fights to get back to his own Ithaca.

Personally, I saw the beginning of his journey back home in his endearing mix-up of the words ‘acceptable’ and ‘understandable’ in the very first minutes of the episode. We often forget about it, but this very factual and no-nonsense army doctor is, first and foremost, a writer. He doesn’t chronicle Sherlock’s cases: he writes fiction about it, so much so we know sometimes Sherlock grumbles about the changes and deviations form reality. And when you write fiction, well - you can’t write what you don’t understand, so everything becomes understandable - from death to grief to acts of extreme cruelty. When you write, you step inside the head of your characters, which is why, perhaps, John simply gets Sherlock in a way no one else really does: not only because he loves Sherlock, but because he actively becomes Sherlock as he fleshes out character!Sherlock on the pages of his blog. But when John’s caught in the worst tragedy of his life, suddenly he doesn’t want to be a writer any longer (he can’t). We know he neglects his blog, rejects, perhaps, both his relationship with Sherlock and this aspect of himself - his writer self, the man who could justify and explain away everything that ever happens - put it into prose and be done with it.

(I know that’s certainly how I feel when I grieve for someone I’ve lost.)

So, to me, his outburst to his therapist really spoke volumes about his mental and emotional health.

“Why does everything have to be understandable? Why can’t some things be unacceptable and we just say that?”

Because, John, that’s not how fiction works. 

In fiction, everything must be understandable - to the writer, if not the readers. And the fact John doesn’t seem to get it - that he doesn’t get the difference between two very different words of the English language, despite being highly educated and a writer - really shows how profound his dissociation is right now - an issue that is made apparent by having Mary at his side, of course, but also manifests itself in more subtle ways. John was not simply a husband, and Sherlock’s best friend. Writing is an important part of who he is, and it is also, I think, something Sherlock is trying to give back to him by begging John to accompany him on his Smith case.

(“I would be lost without my blogger.”)

And Sherlock, as usual, was right, because it’s precisely when his role as a writer is openly challenged that John starts to fight back. Of course, John starts his path back to himself when he has to admit he still cares about Sherlock - when he leaves Sherlock out of the boot of the car and into the sacred place of a therapy session - but until they arrive at the hospital and Nurse Cornish questions his role at Sherlock’s side (“Are you involved much? I love his blog, don’t you?”), John was listless at best - a sort of Okay, so Sherlock’s dying too - great news, because what can I do about it I am a mess everything I touch dies and someone make it STOP - but after that, he starts to realize his old self was worthwile, and he starts to actively reclaim it. Look at him in that room full of children: before Smith took over and made it creepy, that scene was about John rediscovering himself. Faced with people who neither really know who he is, or even care about him and his role at Sherlock’s side, John suddenly fights back by doing what he does best: turning Sherlock’s fast-as-lightning thought process and disconnected sentences into stories people can enjoy. Stories that make Sherlock get more cases, sure, but, mostly, stories that help people smile and cry and yell out loud; stories that make sense of the disorderly and chaotic and brutal world we all live in.

Sherlock catches that, of course, and understands how important it is: his only real smile this episode blossomed right there - when I’m no good to anyone, leave me the hell alone John Watson stands up a bit straighter and looks a killer in the eye and tells him, “No one’s untouchable”. This is John caring again - this is John forgetting, if only for a split second, about the current black mess his life has turned into and being himself instead; accepting that the person he is still has value, despite his wife’s death.

(God, I wish I could gif - look at this beauty - at Smith completely lost in his own narcissistic trip - at how angry John is, how he just blurts out the words without even thinking - at how Sherlock snaps out of whatever thought he was chasing and looks up at him and smiles - someone kill me right now.)

So, well, I’m not worried. Whatever happens next, John will be okay.

[As ever - thank you for reading. The second part of this meta, the Johnlock part, will be up tomorrow.]

why Ichiruki should have been canon: Salty September, part 3: FyeahShipRants

Originally posted by saki-ice-blog

Ichiruki should have been canon. I swear.

That is how I choose to begin this rant, knowing that my opening words will either mean my blog becomes mega popular or else mega unpopular, due to the volatile nature of this fandom in particular. But I must get these feelings off my chest, as I have been into Bleach since I was fourteen. That’s eight years. Eight long years of Bleach, watching Tite Kubo destroy his own work he’d beautifully made before my horrified eyes.

No, maybe it was longer than that. I have dim memories of watching Bleach in 2007 and being only thirteen, but entranced by how amazing it was. Most of all, I was struck by how deep the relationship between these two lovebirds was.

This is just a brief, brief rant on how fucked up the ending was for Bleach.

I got into Bleach in junior high.

There was so much that was appealing about the premise-how nonstandard both Ichigo and Rukia were as protagonists, to how creative the openings and endings are.

In those days, the only three things I watched were Naruto, Inuyasha, and Bleach-three series that are now hated by me.

At least with Inuyasha, the author did not screw up her story, which I give her credit for. Even Kishimoto didn’t make as bad an ending as Kubo did, which says a whole fucking lot, doesn’t it?

Now of course, I’m going to be talking about probably what’s the most important thing in the whole damned series-Ichiruki, the ship that was supposed to be canon but for some reason wasn’t.

Why? I have no fucking idea! WHAT WAS HE THINKING WHEN HE WROTE THE ENDING? Oh, wait, after all this symbolism he had between the two characters…let’s just have him wind up with this girl he’s barely known as compared to the one who’s been by his side this whole time.

It’d be like if DC ended on Shinichi leaving Ran and going with some other girl. I’d be fucking pissed. Yeah, thank god Aoyama won’t end it that way. Kubo should make like Aoyama does and do the right pairings for the right reasons.

Now here I’m gonna just be talking about Ichiruki and why it’s fucking canon. I know I’ve said it before, in the wake of the Ichihime thing, all us Ichiruki shippers need some more reminders about why these two are made for each other.

Keep reading

Suda Akari & Oya Masana speak about Matsui Rena on the cusp of her graduation  [AKB48 Group Shinkan 2015/08, Matsui Rena graduation special]

Akarin and Masana speaking about Rena the way only two veterans can. Proceed if you want to know why Rena was once considered the「loose cannon」 of SKE by her fellow members~

If Takayanagi Akane has been Matsui Rena’s 「emotional support」, Suda Akari was her 「motivational support」. Suda didn’t consider Rena as being totally out of reach, but rather 「someone I wanted to chase after, chase and someday surpass」. Suda who had started from the back row and who with untiring efforts was advancing to the front was highly aware of the existence of Matsui Rena who had started from a similar position and raise to stardom. Until that day, when her ascent met an halt for the first time since she debuted with SKE48.

[Synchro] by Suda Akari

I knew about Rena-san’s graduation the evening of the General Elections last June. I had ended up 18th, dropping from Senbatsu, and while I was alone writing my blog in the lobby of our hotel I received a message from Rena-san. I told her where I was and she immediately replied 「Don’t move, I’m coming right away」. She was worried about me 「Have you calmed down a little?」, and she led me to a corner 「There is something you should know. I’m about to announce my graduation.」. My response was just a 「Ohh-…」. (laughs) She was as stoic as ever 「For real.」.
I had thought that her graduation wasn’t far ahead anymore, but hearing it first hand I had a hard time believing it was happening.

Looking back, I have always had my eyes turn on Rena-san. It started with a strange episode when I joined the group. In November 2009 I had my first handshake event. There someone became my fan upon meeting me. That person sent me my very first fan-letter and here is what was said inside : 「Someday you will get to Matsui Rena’s level, you’ll become someone able to surpass her.」. At the time, I wondered why that fan had written that. I didn’t put too much thought into it but it boosted me still.
Then after a month in the group it was one of the staff members who told me something similar 「Set Rena as your rival.」Why was the staff telling me this too?!
I didn’t think I would be able to surpass her, but I started paying special attention to Rena-san during lessons and rehearsals. The staff too was talking about how incredible she was : 「Rena puts emotions in her dance even during rehearsal, she never cuts corners 」or 「No matter how busy she is, she always updates her blog」. Measuring how much efforts she was putting in her work, I knew from instinct that no matter how hard I tried, I would never surpass Rena-san. If I didn’t find my own way to be recognized, I would never even  manage to stand as her equal. It took me only two months in the group to figure that much.

I remember clearly the first time I backed in front of Rena-san. I was the first 3rd generation member to be appointed to perform as under in Team S for 「Seifuku no Me」 stage and I went to attend the lessons all fired up, ready for show off my skills.
But being the first 3rd generation member to perform in 「Seifuku no Me」 I could feel my seniors’ eyes on me and nervousness was eating me alive. Although them, all getting along well, were laughing together and casually minding the rehearsal. But suddenly, Rena-san who had been the only one following the lesson in silence, got angry : 「There is no point being here if you don’t do it seriously!」. I thought back then that because juniors were there, she wanted to give them a proper model an show them what professionalism was. That day I understood why Rena-san was such a frequent subject of conversation among staffs. It’s often said that Rena-san keeps herself isolated from others, but it’s thanks to that particular position that she was able to say those things.

I learned more from Rena-san than I could tell. It’s thanks to her if after having taken over as Team E leader I have a precise idea of what example I want to set to the juniors.
The mails she wrote about me? Those where she said I was her 「motivation to keep improving」 and that 「for me Akarin surpassed me a long time ago」?
I don’t agree with them. Because I’ve always been chasing after Rena-san.
Ah, except maybe for that one time last year. I had entered AKB48 senbatsu for the first time and even though I was last row on the side, I took my chance and got the mic passed to me during TV program free talk corner. That day Rena-san came to see me after the show 「Today Akarin accomplished something that I never managed to do despise all those years」.
In SKE48 Documentary pamphlet, Rena-san wrote about us that 「We’re alike」. More precisely 「I noticed Akarin because on many aspects her stance was in similar with mine when I joined the group, especially how she exerted herself in her own, unique way」. Many fans of Rena-san are probably skeptical,  wondering 「How are they similar?」 or even refusing to accept it 「No way!」, but since Rena-san is the one who said we were alike, it can’t be helped, I can’t go against her words. *fufufu*

Once Matsui Rena graduates, SKE48 1st generation members that started with 23 people will be down to 2, making it the smallest number of 1st generation members left in the whole 48 Group. Among them is Oya Masana (24) who witnessed first hand the birth of “Matsui Rena the idol”. According to her tales, when she debuted and in total contradiction with her sweet looking appearance, Rena would hijack their MCs, which got her to be considered back then as the 「loose cannon」 of the group.

[Two are left] by Oya Masana

In fact, I had noticed changes in Rena’s behavior for some time. Supposedly since she had made the decision to graduate. During an interview for our Documentary notably, Rena started talking about things she had concealed until then. Like 「I had put a barrier between the other 1st generation members and me」or 「I was alone because I wanted to」, hearing this I thought 「To say those things, she may have taken some sort of decision.」. That’s why I went to find her before the Elections in June. I had planned on having a deep conversation with her but I ended up cutting in the cheese and straight asking 「When are you graduating?」to which she answered laughing 「I won’t graduate yet.」. She is an awfully good liar. (laughs)

The day Nikkan Sports leaked the information, I met with Rena before she went to officially announce her graduation at  All Night Nippon. She greeted me as usual 「Good morning」, but I couldn’t return it and cried the whole time. She stayed there with me and apologized 「Sorry for that」.
We shot the MV for 「Mae Nomeri」in Okinawa the day after the announcement. Rena arrived after everyone else. The surprise party in the MV was shot the moment we welcomed her, as it really happened. I wonder if my feelings toward Rena came across as I wanted…?

The first time I talked to Rena was during dance practice, before our debut in summer 2008. I asked her something along the line of 「Jurina and you aren’t sisters right?」. But Rena didn’t socialize with anyone. When I recall those times, I picture her with her eyes cast down and covered with compresses. She had an aura that said 「Don’t talk to me」. Rena was a loner but when it was her turn for MCs during stages, she suddenly started being really talkative. When we debuted we couldn’t improvise our MCs yet so we all gathered to draft a script of what we were going to say, word by word. But every time Rena did something totally different and hijacked MCs. Having something unplanned happen was really disturbing for us. For example she would delve into a subject way more than originally agreed upon.
That’s why back then Rena stand out, she went out there to catch fans faster than anybody else. With other members we thought 「We can’t let Rena hog the mic, we need to gather to find a solution」and so we made 「Rena counter-plans」. (laughs)
But that helped us grow. It made for a good spice to our debuts. Well, if you decide to look at it in a positive light. (laughs)

Rena had observed AKB48 so she understood how to stand out despite her position and knew how important that was. When I later asked her why she acted like that she explained it to me 「That’s why I decided to talk, no matter what」, realizing she had thoroughly considered her actions and done it out of professionalism, I admired her.

Rena is stubborn and has strong opinions. Regardless of the subject she will tell you 「I think that…」and will stand her ground. So for a long time I wondered how to approach her. We talked so rarely together back then that I can’t seem to remember any real discussion we had. It’s when they were only 7 of us 1st generation members left that I started to get closer from Rena. When I addressed the subject of how she used to be, she revealed how she really felt back then 「At the time you know…」. When taking pictures together she would pass her arm around my shoulder, put her face closer, things she didn’t do before. I even asked her if it was just pretending for business. (laughs)
Rena also addresses everyone older than her with honorifics, except for me. Even though I’m older than her she calls me 「Masana」. Maybe that’s a sign she likes me *fufufu*.

With Rena graduating it’s only Jurina and me left. I want to lead our juniors, I know I have to, but I don’t have the real abilities to do it. Seeing I doubted myself, Rena told me 「Someone might become leader tomorrow, but there will never be another Masana 」. That made me cry. I wonder how our relation will change when she graduates. Rena is a timid girl so if we don’t see each other for some time I’m worried the distance between us will grow, like it used to be when we first met. I’ll need to contact her from time to time to prevent that…
Which reminds me!! She finally told me recently 「You can stay at my place if you want someday」. I wanted to grab my chance at the first occasion, so I had everything ready for a sleepover with me when we met… But Churi got invited first! *fulminating* When something frustrating happens, I usually forget about it in a matter of days. But in that case, comes back to mind every time I see Churi or Rena. I told Rena I had been upset but she laughed at me which only made me more angry 「I’m not laughing here! I was really disappointed!」. I wonder if she had anticipated my reaction and responded that way just to see me all worked up. If so, she is a wicked woman. (laughs)

How things will be in 10 years…?
Rena said she didn’t plan on getting married. She didn’t say a word when I told her that I would follow my prince one a white horse. For my marriage ceremony, I want a long procession in a vast pedestrian avenue with me riding on horseback. I’ll definitely make it happen. So in 10 years I’ll be able to tell Rena 「See, it went just they way I told you it would」.

anonymous asked:

Hi!! I have a cockles-related question and i'm sorry if i've you've already been asked this, so please feel free to tell me to go look for it, I will :) So I've always thought Jared knows about their secret. It's in the way he looks at them, plus I think they need someone to cover for them, and he is their best friend after all. But i was wondering, how many cast members do you think actually know? [Part 1/2]

Anonymous said: Like, i’ve always thought that if it’s such a big secret, the less people know the better, but then there’s that line in “Fanfiction”, “No, they’re a couple in real life” and i’m too trash to believe it was a coincidence. So what do you think? Thank you, sorry for the long message, love you and your blog! xx [Part2/2]

Hi anon! I do indeed think Jared knows. And I think he’s supportive, because that’s the sort of person he is. that-fucking-flamingo-shirt​ answered the question quite succinctly here. I suspect Jared covers for them a lot. Probably a lot more than we’ll ever know. Although sometimes he’s not so subtle, like that time at MinnCon this year when Jensen was talking about Misha being naked - when Jared called Jensen out for making it sound like a porno, Jensen exclaimed “It was a family trip!” and Jared said “I’m surprised”. (+ this + this + this) (One time at a con, a fan asked Jared about Jensen and Misha’s relationship and he gave a Cockles-positive answer. I can’t find that post, though, which is killing me because I tag everything so this never happens…)

As for the other cast and crew members… well, it’s a tight-knit group, and I think they all know Cockles exists as a fandom concept, the same way they all know Destiel and Wincest exist as concepts. However, I’m pretty sure there’s nobody on set who would deny Jensen and Misha have a little thing going, whether it’s seen as friendship or something else.

Ruth Connell knows Jensen and Misha have some hella rad chemistry - and I can’t remember what I saw or where I saw it, but I recall Kim Rhodes saying something similar too (but I could be mistaken).

Then there was that one time that Richard Speight Jr. and Rob Benedict basically called them a couple at comic con. The bit they did was mainly about Destiel, but see, the thing about winning awards for having chemistry, is that it goes well beyond what’s in the script and what’s seen on camera. That award was for Jensen and Misha as much as it was for Dean and Cas, and Mr. Speight and Mr. Benedict knew this very well.

And yeah, Robbie Thompson’s “they’re a couple in real life” quip happened in 10x05, which was 100% a Cockles shoutout doubling as Destiel. And then there was that other time Robbie Thompson wrote Sam and Dean’s aliases as Gabriel and Collins (like the members of Genesis, but also very cleverly like Sabriel and Cockles). Robbie knows the fandom like the back of his hand (probably better, because who even knows where all their freckles are), so I’ll be damned if that wasn’t done entirely on purpose. Robbie either low-key ships the thing, or he knows we do.

All in all, no, I don’t think Cockles is a secret on set. I do think that cast and crew members’ interpretations of their relationship vary as much as the fandom’s interpretations, but that’s just a guesstimate on my part. There’s always a chance everyone on set knows there’s a full-blown affair happening - or, just as equally, the only people who know the real truth are Misha, Jensen and Jared, and everything else is pure rumour.

Jared though? Oh, yeah. He knows.

HEY GUYS, please read this


If any of these words/phrases apply to you, do NOT click the “keep reading” (I’m serious):

Sean McLoughlin, Jacksepticeye, Jackaboy, Green Pewdiepie, Not Markiplier, Smol Sean Bean, Irish YouTube Guy, The Green Beacon, Irish Potato, The Sneaky Irishman, I really hope it’s obvious by now what I’m insinuating…

If none of these apply to you directly, please carry forth and click

Keep reading

Fan Of The Month: Michele

Name: Michele

Blog URL: tygrrbomb.tumblr.com

What’s your blog about: Mostly xena, with armor, pretty dresses and some art thrown in, Downton, british shit that I love.

What are your hobbies: Sword fighting(medieval broadsword), I’ve since been getting into one handed sword, I play sax and sing in a band, sail on occasion, I’m a gym rat, juggling, I used to read a lot, but it’s slowing, I’m learning how to breath fire, walk in the woods, bottle digging and long boarding (more in the summer)

Tell us a bit about yourself: I’m 27, I live on long island, I love rockabilly and if I have extra money I like to stick it in random pockets of mine to find later when I am short a couple of dollars.

What are your top three favourite TV shows: Xena, Downton Abbey, QI

Do you have any Xena merchandise: Yes! 

Have you cosplayed Xena: -

(Xena Questions)

How were you introduced to the Xena fandom: I sort of crept in through the back door, and signing up for the retreat helped.

Which character do you relate to: Xena—I was always envious of people that just had one thing they were very good at and a very clear career path cause they would just do that thing or something related to it. I always had a huge range of interests and Xena’s catchphrase “I have many skills.” I was like yes! It’s not a bad thing, but actually super useful. I really value and love being alone. I also get antsy with out moving about, or adventuring or doing some sort of physical activity. Like, when Xena and Gabs were at that meditation thing and Xena was doing crunches and sick of relaxing: thats me. I definitely have some dorky beginning of the show qualities of Gabrielle. I’m over enthusiastic and well read, and full of random facts and stories.

Who are your favourite characters: Lao Ma (duh!) I love Ares. No shame. Charon! Easily my favorite comic character.

Who are your favourite villains: Lucifer was super interesting, and Michael is so messed up. I like them because they weren’t straight up evil. But I mean Alti was pretty fantastic and Callisto.

What is your favourite episode and why: I’ve thought about this a lot, and I think it’s the episode that made me want to keep watching the show. Season 1 Episode 19 Altered states. It was one of the first episodes that really made me think about the moral code of religion and the idea of blindly believing, or trying to do the right thing and having it be completely messed up. It dealt with darker issues than the episodes before it. And I like that at the end no one knew where the voice that saved Icus actually came from, so it’s not all about Xena and Gabrielle saving the day, there are still things we don’t understand and can’t explain. But the real pull is it was a darker episode where Gabby is tripping balls on nut-bread most of the time. So I was cracking up while thinking about issues of morality and religion. I think that’s a formula the show managed to replicate episode after episode. Oh, also the opening to that episode is so gay. I love it.

Is there a character you think people misunderstand: Ares? I started out being annoyed by him and thinking he was a villian, but by the end of the show I freakin loved him and his amorality.

What is your favourite ship: Xena and Gabs!—!!!!!

Is there a pairing you didn’t like at first but now you do: Gabrielle with random guy of the week. Cause it’s just like, why? But, I read something someone wrote, and I wish I could remember who to give credit, but they had looked at it as if Aphrodite was always rather fond of Gabrielle and was making guys fall in love with her as a way to express, “I think you are neat.” I like that theory.

Is there a popular ship you don’t agree with: Is Xena and Ares a popular ship? Cause no!

What do you like best about the show: It’s formula to be both deep and camp at the same time. Oh and the gay under (sometimes over) tones.

How has the show affected you: I have never been part of a fandom before and even though I haven’t met a lot of people yet it’s been really fun looking at posts and rants and memes and such from a show I love that other people connected with too. A lot of the episodes have deep take away points. I feel like Xena has had some long lasting impact on my life, I just don’t one hundred percent know what it is yet. Hopefully I’ll meet people with the philosophies and light heartedness of the show and make some new friends. (is that cheesy? It is, It’s okay)

Why is this show important to you: I started watching it when I was super depressed and I know it’s corny as fuck but it gave me something to hold on to and keep me in this world. It was also great to see a similar life view expressed in a show to the one I have. I love everything about this damn show! I think this show is super important in general because it created so many complex female characters that were more developed in a one or two episode appearance than female characters that have been on shows for seasons. We need more of that! More women doing stuff.

Is there anything else you’d like to add: Thanks!