i wrote for you

Anakin is one of the most misunderstood characters in the Star Wars universe.

I believe this solely because of all the canon that has been released alongside the prequels such as novelizations of the first three episodes, the Clone Wars animated series and the Darth Vader books as well as the very facts that Anakin grew up a slave and was a direct product of the Force.

Yes, Anakin had been manipulated into turning against the Jedi Order by the chancellor, but if you really consider Anakin’s experience with the Order, his perception of the Jedi being evil was not too far from the truth, as they had been incredibly corrupted.  As a slave, Anakin learned to be obedient, so when he was freed, he had high expectations for a life as a free boy. What he didn’t realize was that he was trading one life for another. He was already 9 years old when he was taken into the order, so he grew up a normal (slave) child’s life alongside other children and especially his mother, free of emotional, physical and mental restrictions. Upon joining the Jedi, he had to forget those connections; he was taught that they were “not the jedi way,” that they were wrong, that they would cloud his thoughts, that he must not ever feel that way; this must have been especially hard to do-living your entire life one way and and then being told you had to forget it. On top of that, Anakin had over 20,000 midichlorians- the minimum amount to be considered a Jedi was 5,000 (yeah, I know, I know, midichlorians are just some prequel bullsh*t, but they’re canon), but seriously though: this was more than Master Yoda. Anakin was born of the Force. He was nearly 2 to 4 times more powerful than all of the forcefuls in the temple. Where most people took months of meditations to learn proper telekinesis, Anakin probably struggled not to throw objects; when he was taught to warm something with the Force, he set it on fire, burning himself trying to raise the temperature. I imagine meditation was difficult for him because he probably heard so much; he was probably overwhelmed and easily distracted by what he felt but didn’t know how to control or channel it. Maybe it scared him (italics a product of wingletblackbird).

His entire life as a Jedi, Anakin had been told that he was the Chosen One, prophesied to bring balance to the Force. You can imagine how frustrating it must have been for him to constantly be reminded of this, to be 2 to 4 times more powerful than anyone else in the temple, and to be so restricted, not trusted and held back by the council. This was one of the reasons he viewed the council as self-serving and corrupt, especially when they asked him, a mere Jedi Knight, not master, to spy on the chancellor when they were getting their rights stripped away. Had Anakin been given the rank of Jedi Master, he would have given into the self-serving and narrow-minded views of the Order, and probably never turned to the Dark side, as he later realizes as Darth Vader.

In the novelizations, the reader gets a better and more detailed explanation of the characters and their thoughts and actions; some even include some scenes that were not shown in the movies themselves. For example, when Anakin was killing the remaining jedi in the temple, we find out that he didn’t really want to; Pre-suit Darth Vader still had Anakin Skywalker fresh inside him, and being very conflicted with all the memories he had growing up in the temple, he called upon the Dark Side to help him do what he believed was necessary because he knew he wasn’t strong enough to do it alone.

The Clone Wars animated series offers an even more in-depth understanding of Anakin and his connections to everyone around him; here we get to see the hero of the Republic at his prime, the ballsy and unorthodox Jedi who was cocky and humble all at once, the skilled pilot and most cunning warrior; and along with this heroic reputation he has, we still get to see his intense love for his comrades, especially his Master, his padawan and his wife. The audience also got to see how these connections in turn influenced some dark decisions, thus demonstrating how it was not only the chancellor that had turned him, but his fear of losing his loved ones. Yet as much as the animated series makes Anakin’s fall to the Dark so much more heartbreaking after experiencing the Clone Wars by his, Obi Wan’s, Padme’s and Ahsoka’s side, it can also serve to undermine the surprise element of his fall that the prequels portray; TCW turned Anakin into more of an edgy character with an inherent darkness, cheapening the good-hearted and conflicted prequels Anakin. The entire point of prequels Anakin was that his fall didn’t make sense, that it was out of nowhere, that there weren’t many warning signs, that he was manipulated by others into an impossible situation, that if one or two circumstances had been just slightly different he wouldn’t have fallen (italics a product of anakinskydala).  But Prequels and Clone Wars Anakin both present the fact that his fall didn’t have to happen, that it could have been so easily avoided, and that is what makes it so much more tragic.

In the Darth Vader books, we get a peek into the tempest of thoughts raging behind the stone-cold mask. I never really considered the person behind the mask until hearing about the tragic memories and internal battles clashing within; Vader is really depressed and in constant, agonizing pain. The books reveal his constant internal battle with his former self, how he relives parts of his life and imagines how they could have went differently, how he immensely misses his love and the love between them, their child, how he hates Darth Sidious, how he hates himself, how he hates his suit, how uncomfortable everything is, how he misses his body, how he realizes he was never really free from being a slave, how he only feels human in his bacta-tank and meditation chamber, how he dreads putting his suit on, how he can’t sleep, how he channels all his anger and pain to become more powerful through his connection the Dark Side, how he blames Obi Wan and the Jedi Council for everything… It is in these books that we understand Anakin, the Chosen One’s true intentions for betraying the Jedi. When being visited by Padme on Mustafar in Episode III, the newly-knighted Darth Vader confronts his frantic wife; he is excited to tell her about how he plans to learn all that he can from Palpatine, how he plans to use that knowledge to overthrow him and end his regime once and for all, how he is doing this all for her and their child, for the entire galaxy, so that they may live as a family in peace. It is in these novels that we understand that there was still so much good in him, that he wasn’t completely consumed by the dark side, that he was going to fulfill his prophecy. But his wife was so worked into a frenzy that she wasn’t listening to his words, he had to make her understand, he had to. He would.  He would make her understand that this was all for them. But then Obi Wan emerged from her ship. And here Anakin’s Dark Side gripped him, his anger, his hatred, his pain at the very thought of his wife betraying him consumed his entire being and he lashed out, grasping her neck with the force, not thinking, only feeling. “YOU BROUGHT HIM HERE TO KILL ME?!”

This is in no way a justification for his horrific actions, but it definitely explains and gives a little more insight on what was going on in Anakin’s head, allowing for a better understanding of who he was without being completely apologetic towards him.

Anyone with a more in-depth understanding of the novelizations of the movies and/or the Darth Vader books OR ANAKIN IN GENERAL, please share some insight!

(I wrote this for my speech class lol)


I’m still laughing my ass off at Joker’s Unkempt Beauty trope entries because I swear to god I must have ghostwrote this or something

A softer ending for 2x22, in which Lena finally gets a thank you and Kara and Lena find comfort in each other.


 Can you come over?

It’s a simple enough text really but it still sets Lena’s entire chest aflame. She is presently sat in her office, firmly holding onto a tumbler of scotch, trying to ignore the shiver in her hands or the weight that has lodged itself in her chest like her personal kind of lead.

On my way. She texts back.


Kara looks like hell. Her hair is ruffled, eyes puffy and red; and it hurts Lena somewhere deep to see her like this.

She hates you. She hates you. She hates you. You’ve finally done it and pushed away the last person to care about you.

Her thoughts come back to haunt her, make her fingers flinch, paint her chest red with pain.

She hates you.

Kara steps aside though, waits for her to come inside, then just looks at her, all wide eyes, trembling hands, like she is begging her to stop this. To just make the pain stop.

And so she reaches out for her, even if she is going to be rejected by the one person to make her feel warm in…ever, she reaches out. And Kara steps in her arms like she is drowning.

Lena feels the sobs take over Kara’s slim frame, like she’s been denying herself this until Lena had come to do the holding on for her. She feels her shake almost violently in her arms, feels the way her sobs collide with the air like broken glass.

She doesn’t speak. Just holds on, feeling her own tears streaming down her cheeks, tastes the salt sharply on her lips.

It’s not pretty. Kara’s hair sticks to Lena’s cheek, both of their chests are aching and there is a desperation to their hug like a ship underwater.

They finally settle in on Kara’s couch though, hands still holding on in a bruising grasp.

“I’m so sorry,” Lena whispers almost inaudibly, after ten minutes of collectively staring at Kara’s walls.

“It was the right thing to do.”

Kara reaches for some blankets then, wraps them around both of their shoulders and leans ever so slightly against Lena, shoulders brushing against each other, soft and comforting.

“Do you hate me?” Lena asks then. She feels the way her throat almost gives out underneath the words.

Keep reading

dear past self,

I’m sorry. I’m sorry you ever thought you had to reach the point of exhaustion to feel good enough. I’m sorry you eve felt like you could never be good enough. I’m sorry you ever felt like your body couldn’t physically keep going but your mind insisted you couldn’t stop. I’m sorry you ever thought you had to reach a certain lever or status to matter, to have value. I’m sorry you had to hear people call you out on things you didn’t do. I’m sorry you ever felt you had to change yourself in order to have worth. I’m sorry you ever felt lesser for having a lower mark that someone else. I’m sorry. But I cannot change the past, my dear. What you have endured will always be part of you and it will never be erased. Please know, thought, that YOU ARE ENOUGH. Regardless of anyone else’s opinion. Regardless of your grades, your looks, your opinions, your choices and preferences. You are a smart, strong, beautiful, incredible, lovely human being and you should look at yourself like the goddess you are!

anonymous asked:

For the alphabet thing! A (allergies) Y (yellow) U (unkempt)

“Kyo? Honey? Snff.” Tohru scrunches her itchy nose, tries to will away an oncoming sneeze. “C-cad you…cad you hold the ba…the baby, I…hhh…!” 

Kyo swoops in and grabs snatches the baby out of his wife’s arms. “Got him! Are you okay?” He stares at her, eyebrows raised. 

“Y-yeah, I’b fide, I’b just goid to–ahhh…CHIEW! Hek-KIEW! Ah-SHIEW!” Sniffling furiously, she clamps her hands over her nose to contain the mucus streaming from it. Kyo tries to work out the gymnastics required to get her a tissue while the baby is trying to pull remove Kyo’s lips from his face. 

Tohru sneezes four more times, her hands firmly curved around her nose. Her hair comes loose from her braids with the force of them. Finally, Kyo manages to situate the baby such that he can use one of his hands, and he hands Tohru a handful of tissues. 

“Th-thadk you–hek-KIEW!” She blows her nose–it sounds like running water. 

“What the hell is making you sneeze so much?” asks Kyo, gently removing the baby’s hand from his mouth. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah, I’b fide. Snff. It’s just um…you kdow those flowers Ayabe brought over earlier–I’b…hh…hhhEHH…ehCHIEW! ah-CHIEW! Allergic. Snff.” 

Kyo glances at the bouquet of yellow daffodils that Ayame had dramatically presented Tohru with earlier. “Why didn’t you say so?” he asks. “They’ve been in the house all day! Has this been happening all day?!”

“Ndo…well, a little, but I took sobe medicide. I thi…I thidk it wore offhhAHHCHIEW!” Tohru snaps forward so far with that sneeze that it looks like she’s bowing. “I’b okay,” she insists, despite the fact that her eyes are dripping with allergic tears, and her voice is so horrendously  congested that Kyo can barely understand her. 

He strides over to the flowers, takes them out of the vase, and walks toward the door. “I’m throwing these out,” he says. “You go wash your face and take a nap or something. I’ll watch the baby.” 

“No, K-kyo-kun, Ayabe gave be those! I cad’t throw theb out, he’ll be upset if he fides out–hhek-SHIEW!” By this point, Tohru’s pink nose is running so profusely that the one tissue Kyo gave her can’t keep up.

“If Ayame is actually such an asshole that he’d want you sneezing yourself into a coma just so he could gloat about having spent 1500 yen on you, I will personally beat him to a pulp!” 

Kyo realizes that he’s yelling, softens his voice for the sake of both his baby and his wife. “It’s okay for you to take care of yourself, Tohru. Please let me throw the flowers out. Ayame won’t mind, I promise.” 

After blowing her nose into the second tissue that Kyo hands her, Tohru agrees.

anonymous asked:

remember when ohmtoey were asked if they were dating but toey said that its up for the destiny to decide or something? do you think that maybe they'll end up dating each other irl? it's just that i've never really seen such chemistry on and off screen not to mention the way they look at each other lol c:

hey! first off- thanks for coming by to send me a question!
Yes I totally remember that, and I also remember at this interview - they were asked if they were dating in real life and they both smiled and Toey just said, “let Ohm answer” and of course that was followed by a “yes, we’re dating” but then a quick “no we’re just bros” asdfghjkl;
In my own personal opinion (but actually everyone’s) they have so much chemistry and it really shows, like you said, on screen and off screen, it’s obvious these two have a strong relationship with each other. Like, remember at Ohm’s birthday party where Toey showed up as a surprise and Ohm literally broke down and cried on Toey’s shoulder? (here) Ohm cares about Toey a whole lot to break down like that, that was the first time I saw that bright smile boy cry.
As far as them dating in real life, I don’t think it’s impossible- I mean I know a lot of what they do is “”“fanservice”“” but it’s to such extent that these two even bring it up on their own without someone else bringing it up first okay. There was this video I saw that I won’t be able to find the link to because it was on twitter (crying) but, basically ohmtoey were at the airport and the fans were like “Ohm you’re so cute!” and he smiled and then he looked back at Toey who was farther ahead of him, and by himself, ok, on his own will, said, “P'Toey is really cute too!” and perhaps to some that seems like a small gesture but stuff like that is meaningful because it really shows their close relationship and jhbfgfsjghlsfghliugbksjdf 

Anyways though, yes the way they look at each other makes my heart smile, they look at each other as if the whole world is in front of them they genuinely care for each other so much. It was in Toey’s birthday video to Ohm that I realized just how much Toey cares for Ohm, he is always going to be there for him. I will link it here, Toey wants to watch him grow into the amazing person he knows Ohm will be, I’m actually weeping.

Whether or not they begin to really really date, these two have really developed a lifelong friendship/relationship that they will carry and just that makes me happy!

On another note, whether or not they really are dating I don’t think we’ll ever know (unfortunately), considering the place in which they live is still all “weird-ed out” by such things despite having all these shows and stuff lol, they would never just come out to the public so forwardly like that I think, which reminds me of when they’re on shows and the MC’s are always forwardly asking the cast if any of them are gay LIKE, THESE PEOPLE STILL HAVE AN OUTSIDE LIFE WHERE THEY ATTEND SCHOOL AND OTHER THINGS, HOW ARE THEY GOING TO COME OUT ON TV AND NOT EXPECT BACKLASH BACK AT SCHOOL OF COURSE THEY’RE NOT GOING TO COME OUT ON TELEVISION I’M WHEEZING. on the bright side, the mc’s always look all weirded out by it whenever they ask that question but the whole cast is really chill, so that’s really cool!


redwhitebreeze: Ueno or Haruno, who is more of a devil

Ueno, easily.

Haruno is a manipulative, selfish, and very nasty individual, but one that is actually 100% correct. That’s the thing with Haruno: She’s right. She is absolutely right when she takes a shit on our three main characters, she is right when she confronts them and calls them out on them pussyfooting around an issue they all know is there. They do not want to face the situation that is evidently going on between them, they don’t even want to acknowledge it, and it goes to prove Haruno right that Yukino will, ultimately, always be the little Snow Doll that only ever follows Haruno’s steps and doesn’t become more than her. It also calls into question Hikki’s resolution to look for something “genuine”, since what’s going on between the three of them is hardly honest, much less genuine. The thing with Haruno is that she’s perfectly crafted to be hated because she’s nasty but she’s right. Hikigaya, Yukino, and Yuigahama have to sort out their feelings and be honest. The three of them have all but said to be aware of the situation (that being that the two of them like Hikigaya and Hikigaya himself likes the two of them, but none of them want to take that step forward because it means fragmenting their trio and changing the status quo that, for once, they like), and as long as this remains the case, Haruno is infuriatingly right, despite how nasty a damn demon she is.

Ueno, on the other hand, is just an outright bully and a selfish brat who couldn’t give a rat’s ass about others if it doesn’t involve her desires on the topic at hand. It’s a terrible lack of rhyme and reason that begins with and ends with “this jerk is literally a brat and there’s nothing more to it”, which makes her the worst immediately, and also a great character in how she is written to showcase this, and how it aligns perfectly with how, well, there’s definitely a lot of people that are like this in the world because it is their nature. Not everyone has a justification or a tragic past. Sometimes, people are just fucking nasty.

hi it’s nessa again but now with another son. i know his full name is long but just call him fernando! below are some things about fernando and his backstory. oh, please like this post if you’d like to plot and i’ll scoot into your ims!

Keep reading



Presenting one of the nerdiest things I’ve ever spent three hours on: 

Fordese. Exactly as seen in Journal 3, but as a font. You too can confuse your work partner, twin brother, and dream demon arch-nemesis by simply typing on the keyboard as normal, no pen needed!

I must thank @picnokinesis and the fics they wrote in code for putting the random inspiration in my mind to do this, ahahah. XD 

The font includes all coded letters from A-Z, both in uppercase and lowercase. (They’re both the same, though- I just figured it wouldn’t hurt to double up.) It has a full set of numbers, and the most common punctuation. Some of the letters are annoyingly close to each other, but it couldn’t easily be helped. 

But hey, if anyone actually uses this and makes a post, please feel free to tag me in it so I can see! And if anyone tries this out and there’s any major issues with it, let me know and I can try to fix it! :D

You can find the font right here!

I wish I could read a book on what it would take to get you to fall in love. And I wish I could download an app that told me when you were happy or mad or jealous or confused. And I wish I could look up at the stars and they’d tell me what to say to you and when to say it. Because you’re a little too complicated for someone who likes things simple and I know you think I’m good at solving puzzles but I need something- just one thing- to be a little bit easier right now.
i wrote this for you // pleasefindthis
  • aries: “i made myself from all the love you no longer wanted.”
  • taurus: “just like you mistook lust for love, you have mistaken with being alone for loneliness. so i'm fine. thanks for asking.”
  • gemini: “of course it’s complicated. if it wasn’t, i probably wouldn’t be interested in you.”
  • cancer: “this isn't me missing you. this is me missing the me i used to be.”
  • leo: “after you're gone, people will forget your name, no matter how important it was, and your face, no matter how pretty it was, and what you said, no matter how clever any of it sounded. the things you've done will crumble and fade and the places you once loved, will change and be given new names. you are only here for one moment and it lasts exactly one lifetime.”
  • virgo: “you took all my words when all i wanted to do was say them.”
  • libra: “i couldn’t convince you that the blue you see is the same blue that i see. But maybe that’s how lovers know they’re meant to love; they see the same blue. and they both know it.”
  • scorpio: “i could’ve sworn i was telling the truth when i told you i didn’t miss you.”
  • sagittarius: “you keep telling me to be glad for what we had while we had it. that the brightest flame burns quickest. which means you saw us as a candle. and i saw us as the sun.”
  • capricorn: “and every day, the world will drag you by the hand, yelling "this is important! and this is important! and this is important! you need to worry about this! and this! and this!" and each day, it's up to you, to yank your hand back, put it on your heart and say "no. this is what's important.”
  • aquarius: “you had this expression on your face, like you weren’t quite sure you were supposed to be on earth.”
  • pisces: “be soft. do not let the world make you hard. do not let the pain make you hate. do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place”
Literally just all the sexual things Alexander Hamilton sent to John Laurens

“I love you.”

This one is pretty self explanatory. Men were much more intimate back in the 1700′s, forming bonds that seem very ~gay~ in today’s light. Homosexuality wasn’t a very understood thing back then because rigid moral codes and censured education prevented people from learning more about sexuality.

 But Alexander Hamilton knew.

 He grew up on an island where ‘Sodomites’ (gay people) were dumped and  allowed to mingle with the island population. Alex knew that there was a certain zone of interactions between men that went from being merely friendly to sexual. He clearly steps into the bounds of sexual while fully realizing it.

“In drawing my picture, you will no doubt be civil to your friend; mind you do justice to the length of my nose and don’t forget, that I [- - - - - -].”

Ahhhhhhhhh my son Alex, could you be more explicit? Alex here is obviously referring to his something else (you know) with the knowledge that John Lauren’s knows the size. This sentence right here is basically just one long ;).

 “Your friend” seems to be written teasingly, as if they both know how far from friends they are.

And we can only guess how dirty Alex got in those last six  CUT OUT words.

“Dear Boy” [sent by John Laurens]

John laurens calls his wife his ‘dear girl’, and here he calls Alex his ‘dear boy’.  Moreover, Laurens did not call any other man he ever wrote to as his ‘dear boy’. Laurens seems to see Alex as on the same level, if not higher, as his own wife.

“Did I mean to show my wit? If I did, I am sure I have missed my aim. Did I only intend to [frisk]? In this I have succeeded, but I have done more. I have gratified my feelings, by lengthening out the only kind of intercourse now in my power with my friend.”

This phrase right here I unfortunately do not see a lot when people talk about Alex and John’s letters. This, to me, is one of the most explicit. “Wit” also mean one’s you know what (here I give a nod to the Ravenclaw moto), so Hamilton’s saying he was pretty much just messing around with John the last letter he sent. This is the only sort of “intercourse” he is able to have with John, as they are both so far apart. He is incapable of ‘sexual’ intercourse because of their distance, so he feels he must, in the 18th century way, sext.

“I would invite you after the fall to Albany to be witness to the final consummation.”

As you might have already guessed, Alex is inviting John to a threesome on his wedding night. The idea that Alex feels so at ease inviting John to a threesome with his wife suggests they have already had something going for a long time now. 

“But like a jealous lover, when I thought you slighted my caresses, my affection was alarmed and my vanity piqued. I had almost resolved to lavish no more of them upon you and to reject you as an inconstant and an ungrateful –”

Here Alex compares himself to John’s lover, and a jealous one at that. John seems to be shying away from Alex’s bawdiness, as if realizing how strange their relationships is in retrospect. Alex is scrambling to hang on to him, even though he knows well what are and what happens to Sodomites. He would do anything for John while knowing the consequences. And John is too afraid to join him. And who the hell knows what the last word was.

“And believe me, I am lover in earnest,”

*cough cough* looks like John knows exactly what happens when Alex’s feeling frisky.

“She [Eliza] loves you a l'americaine not a la francoise.”

The French were renowned for their relaxed stance on extramarital love affairs, while Americans were more Puritan-minding and thought love affairs only should happen in church-sanctioned marriages. Thus Eliza has an a l’americaine love of John Laurens, rather than an a la francoise.

“You will be pleased to recollect in your negotiations that I have no invincible antipathy to the maidenly beauties & that I am willing to take the trouble of them upon myself.”

*cough* this sentence is a bit confusing, and could be taken a few ways. What I infer from this is that Alexander Hamilton is willing, and John knows this, to assume an air of femininity because he finds no fault with it. It was commonly noted by people who wrote of Hamilton that he was very feminine in comparison with other men of his day. Alex’s femininity seems to please John, the topic even having been discussed between the two in ‘negotiations’.

“My ravings are for your own bosom” Alex desperately misses Laurens’ intimate contact in a way that, in my opinion, could never be mistaken as simply friendship. Alex literally wants to be held by John. How fucking heartbreaking is that.

“Yrs for ever”

Ok, this one isn’t sexual, but I had to add it because it is so heartbreaking. This was Alex’s last farewell note to John. That is, if he even received it. He died shortly after Alex sent the letter; whether he read the farewell or not is all lost to history. Alex loved John so much, despite the fact that both already had a wife. He would have always loved him, even if they had grown apart…

That’s it folks: time for me to cry.


White Day  ♡ (˘▽˘>ԅ( ˘⌣˘)

People like you don’t notice girls like me. You’re the type of person to play sports and hang out with large group of people, whereas I’m the type of person to hang out with a few friends and read a book. Some say opposites attract, but not in my case.
—  opposites attract // excerpt from a book I’ll never write #9

170224 BTS Myungdong - Bundang Fansign - Suga

Q: Why… Is… Yoongi… That… Beautiful…? Why… Are… You… That… Handsome…? I… Really… Can’t… Live…

A: But… Still… You… Have… To… Live…

© jeonjeoney


                                                        H A P P Y R O C K Y D A Y
Happy birthday to our resident reliable rock Park Minhyuk (Rocky). I honestly hope that people stop sleeping on him, because he deserves so much more than he is getting. Rocky is good at everything: he can dance, rap, has amazing vocals, writes great lyrics, acts, is soft an nice, borderline weird, exTRA, handsome. I honestly can’t imagine a better choreography for morning call or fireworks than the one he created. A multi threat. A full package. Thank you for being born, Park Minhyuk.