i wouldn't do that to the food

yesterday my first table at work was 4 complete shitholes who yelled at me twice before i even took their food order and almost made me cry. before they ate, they all bowed their heads to pray.

so on the top of their receipt i wrote “hebrews 13:2″ and they went WILD. they LOVED IT. they tipped me over 20% for my “education fund”.

hebrews 13:2 is “do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it”, and i really hope they got home and looked it up and realized that i am, in fact, a petty fucking bitch

headcanon: andrew hates bugs

+ like loathes them
+ specifically centipedes and spiders because “nothing should have that many legs”
+ every time he sees a bug in his home he flinches, backs away, and tells it to fuck off for good measure
+ and then continues to COMPLETELY ignore the spot of the house it’s in until he’s sure it’s bound to be gone
+ once he didn’t go near the toaster in the corner of the kitchen for eight straight days because there was a spider living there and he refused to ask neil to kill it
+ the only reason he ended up going back is because neil finally decided to check out what was wrong
+ found the spider and smashed it with a shoe
+ which he had to physically show to andrew
+ who kept insisting the spider had nothing to do with it
+ neil knows better than to ask about it
+ the same cannot be said for nicky, defender of all bugs who also squeals every time he sees them
+ one day he asks andrew about the thing with the bugs even though kevin and neil both shot him looks that clearly said “don’t ask”
+ of course nicky asks
+ andrew just ignores him at first and pointedly directs his attention to kevin to call him stupid for something
+ and nicky’s like, “they’re not doing anything wrong andrew they’re just bugs”
+ “first of all, they are unwelcome guests in my home, just like yourself”
+ “second, legs.”
+ nicky and kevin leave not too long after because now andrew is in an even more sour mood and neil isn’t even /trying/ to help
+ later neil asks andrew about it
+ because he’s curious and also he finds it kind of endearing
+ (because scary andrew is afraid of BUGS and that boy is nothing if not a collection of endless surprises neil aches to understand)
+ he expects andrew to brush off the topic or ignore him
+ he doesn’t
+ instead andrew has this expression that can be explained as nothing other than “disgruntled”
+ “the legs”
+ hes practically grinding his teeth when he says it, like it’s something personally offensive
+ “nothing can get away with having that many legs /and/ breaking and entering.”
+ “one is a personal attack on me and my person and my home. the other is a felony”
+ neil CANNOT stop smiling
+ he kills every bug in the house without question after that

You wouldn't tell a beautiful flower to grow faster, so why do the same to yourself?

Self growth is a process with no deadline. Take care of yourself and work to be a better person at your own pace. Self growth doesn’t happen over night.

the foxes as anna kendrick's tweets
  • aaron: my life would be so much easier if it wasn't for that thing... God, what is that thing called... other people
  • neil: i woke up just before winning the argument in my dream. Fuck this day.
  • andrew: those discover cards ads that say "we treat you like you'd treat you" don't really work cause I feel like I'd treat me like a real dick
  • allison: is there a filter on instagram that fixes Bitchy Resting Face? asking for a friend
  • nicky: my patronus is a corgi
  • kevin: "you're the only person in the world I don't hate right now" is as close as I get to saying "I love you"
  • seth: If I die unexpectedly can everyone just do the right thing and pretend I was a way better person than I am?
  • renee: i'm the person who wouldn't send back my food even if I got steak when I'd ordered fish
  • dan: if i were a contestant on the bachelor i'd just end up falling in love with the weird sound guy and making things uncomfortable for everyone
  • matt: dudes i waited til i was home to tweet. i don't tweet and drive. i'll have you know i'm always too busy singing along to embarrasing music

favorite character memeone character

“My name is Riley Matthews from Greenwich Village, New York City, the United States of America, the continent of north America, the Western hemisphere, the Earth, the solar system, the universe, the mind of God.”

anonymous asked:

So I know you've got a list of high quality dog foods, but do you have a list of brands you *wouldn't* recommend/would advise against buying?

Sure, here are just a few!

Gravy Train
Kibbles n’ Bits
Ol’ Roy
Purina Dog Chow
Purina Pro Plan
Rachel Ray’s Nutrish
Royal Canin

Foods you’ll find in a grocery store pretty much. Especially store brand Value dog food. Stores tend to group food by quality as well. All of the grocery brands will be at the end of the aisle, the higher quality will be at the opposite end.

♡ Sanrio Asks ♡
  • ♔ Hello Kitty: What kind of birthday cake do you have?
  • ()︵() My Melody: What's one thing that's completely different about you from a year ago?
  • ☆ミ(o*・ω・)ノ Little Twin Stars: Who's your best friend?
  • (^・ω・^ ) Chococat: Are you a sensitive person?
  • ヽ(´ー`)ノ Bad Badtz-Maru: What's one rule you enjoy breaking?
  • (◕v◕) Kero Kero Keroppi: What's your favorite yearly tradition?
  • /_/^。∇。^\_\ Cinnamoroll: What's your favorite thing from the bakery?
  • ╮*(─▽─)*╭ Kuromi: What's one thing about your personality most people wouldn't think at first?
  • (´•ᴥ•`) Pom Pom Purin: What's your favorite laidback activity?
  • ►o◄ Tuxedosam: Do you like dressing up?
  • ✿ Bonbonribbon: What's your favorite fashion or art style?
  • ღ Sugarbunnies: What's a dream you have for the future?
  • ✦ Jewelpet: How well do you handle new adventures?
  • ❀ Wish Me Mell: Are you sentimental? What's something you keep because it has meaning to you?
  • ☄ Pochacco: What's your pet's personality like?
  • I'll draw any character I get!
  • Lena Luthor: My old boyfriend Jack is back in town. We are having a romantic dinner tonight and I thought you could join us so you can get an interview
  • Kara Danvers: Wouldn't it be kind of awkward for me to be there?
  • Lena Luthor: Nonsense. I would love to have you there. Maybe we can do a couples massage afterwards
  • Kara Danvers: You want us to do a couples massage with Jack?
  • Lena Luthor: Oh no. Jack will get food poisoning very early into the dinner and we will have the rest of the evening to ourselves
  • Kara Danvers: ........

omg y'all before I left to Washington my mom accidentally left the porch door open (and the screen too) so one of my cats ran away and I was freaking the fuck out once I got home,, so I looked all around the neighborhood in the scorching hot weather for about 3 hours and then came inside to have a mental breakdown bc I love that lil baby and the thought of him being lost and scared tears me tf up and something told me “your bitchass can either continue crying or go out there one more time to look for that lil baby” so I went outside one more time and didn’t even have to take 10 steps until I saw the lil nigga under my neighbors car!!!!!! I slowly lured him towards me with some wet foods and I quickly carried him in my arms. he was meowing a lot when I saw him and he’s dirty but now he’s inside eating and we’re gonna take him to the vet ASAP. God is real, I prayed harder than a mf for me to find that damn cat.

Originally posted by the-reactiongifs


“The case, it is solved, and your message, Hastings, it was most useful.”
“Oh, good.”
“There is just one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“With all this affair, I’ve not been able to eat.”
“Oh, I say, that’s a bit rough. Not gonna be easy finding somewhere this time of night.”
"That is true.”
“I do know one place, though.”

Score: Pea - 1 Me - 0


As mentioned before, I decided to stop force-feeding Pea and see if she would eat independently. After about a  5 week hunger strike and a 5-gram weight loss, I decided I’d better force some food on her. She was not happy and I ended up with more roach guts on me than her. Ew. And then she just perched happily on my shoulder.



dammit she kissed me.

I’m so fucking excited to be buying my own house. I can decorate this and invest in it and it’s mine to keep forever. I can just slowly work on it and make every inch of it beautiful and mine. It needs a lot of love right now but it’s big and beautiful and I honestly never imagined I would have something like this and I am so excited.

anonymous asked:

headcanons for hashirama, tobirama and madara having an S/O that loves to cook, but it always looks very dangerous when she's doing so ? like the way she handles the knife looks like she's about to cut herself and the kitchen turns into a big dangerous mess too. but she knows what she's doing, her food tastes amazing. when she's done the kitchen mess is gone and if you wouldn't have seen her you could think nothing big has happened. what if their daughter inherited this kind of behavior ? 😃

Ahahah this is actually such a great and unique ask, thank you!! I had a lot of fun writing this :) ~Admin Song

Hashirama, Tobirama and Madara Having an S/O that Loves Cooking

Hashirama Senju

Originally posted by narutolandx3

• Clutches his heart and goes white as a ghost whenever he sees you chopping vegetables or setting water to boil. He physically has to stop himself from sweeping into the kitchen and taking over, and he tries to remind himself that he trusts you in the kitchen

• LOVES your cooking but never makes requests because it scares him so damn much to see you wielding a potato peeler

• If Hashirama predicts that something is about to go south VERY fast (you’re teetering a heaping pile of dirty plates in one hand while adding oil to stir fry with the other) his jutsu sends wood shooting like all over like a laser maze, immobilizing you and the mess. He’ll step over and delicately take everything out of your hands, apologize, and let you resume. 

• Whenever you abash him for being so overprotective, he laughs and nods. He’s learned to trust in you and your capabilities, but it’s still so unnerving to watch you work your culinary magic he can’t help himself.

• Hashirama would not let your daughter out of his sight in the kitchen. He’s always hovering, ready to catch a scalding pot or sharpened knife. Hashirama couldn’t let the poor girl use proper cutting knives until she was fourteen, he was so worried about her chopping all her fingers off. 

Tobirama Senju

Originally posted by shisuithegreekgod

• At first he tried to take over the cooking as a way of trying to save you from yourself. He waves you out of the kitchen and assures you not to worry, he has it all taken care of. But as it turns out, Tobirama’s actually a terrible cook. It’s the Midas touch in reverse- everything he lays a finger on either burns, rots, or is otherwise rendered entirely inedible. It’s only as a final resort he lets you back in the kitchen.

• Refuses to let you cook on your own. He’s the grumpy over-protective hawk in the corner constantly watching over your shoulder- it’s like the backseat driving of the culinary arts. 

• Constantly interjects with “Don’t do that”, “what are you doing”, “put that down first”, and the like. Even after a week of being proven entirely wrong, this guy still thinks he knows best when it comes to your cooking. 

• But if he becomes too overbearing and you express that, he will apologize. He’s trying to trust your methods in the kitchen, but they clash so violently with what he expects that he can’t bring himself to accept them entirely. He makes room for them instead, which is an astounding feat for Tobi.

• If your daughter is the same in the kitchen, Tobi does everything in his power to distract her from developing a passion for cooking. Archery? Yeah! Weapons training? Of course! Literally anything (and he fails to see the hypocrisy of teaching a child to wield sharp things in order to distract her from wielding sharp things) to keep her away from the kitchen.

Madara Uchiha

Originally posted by cthuwu

• At first Madara thinks it’s some kind of joke. He walks in on you hacking at raw meat with a cleaver and says “don’t be stupid”. The next time it happens he rolls his eyes and mutters “it’s still not funny”. It takes Madara a while to understand that you aren’t trying to push his buttons- this is honestly how you cook. 

• Gets angry when he sees you step foot in the kitchen. Madara hates seeing his loved ones in danger, and it frustrates him that you willingly put yourself in these predicaments almost daily. It becomes so bad that Madara refuses to speak or look at you as you cook. 

• I can see this becoming a big argument between Madara and his s/o. He’s already seen so much violence and loss, he doesn’t see your antics as cute or funny. 

• Eventually, EVENTUALLY, you reach a compromise. If Madara treasures his relationship with you above his own beliefs, he’d be willing to listen to you. You guys cook as a team with him taking orders from you, which he likes because it means less opportunities for you to lose a finger. In time, he accepts that this is just how you are. He may not like it, but you are worth it to him to accept it.

• But Madara absolutely cannot be at peace with his five year old daughter helping Mommy in the kitchen. He unwittingly becomes the Best Dad In The World ™ by spending every free minute he has with her, trying to keep her too busy to cook with you. 

  • Things I would do for someone who is just a friend:
  • -Support and love them.
  • -Think of them when I see their favorite food/movies.
  • -Cover for them for when they're out and their mom asks if they're at my house.
  • Things I would do not do for someone who is just my 'friend':
  • -Sacrifice myself to save them and be willing to die with them so they wouldn't be alone again, leaving all my goals behind.
  • -Put my hand to my heart and whisper their name when a shooting star passes by.
  • -Lose a fucking arm.
Listening to some girls gossip in the booth behind them...
  • ENFP: There's a quote that suddenly comes to mind. "Great minds talk about ideas, average minds talk about things, small minds talk about other people."
  • INTJ: I was just thinking the same thing.
  • ENFP: It brings up some questions that we're sitting here talking about them, though. Are we small minds because we're talking about them talking about other people?
  • INTJ: I was just wondering that too.
  • ENFP: It's a conundrum. Are there varying degrees to our minds being great, average, and small? Can you be small minded in some ways, and great minded in others? Are there people who reach small minded extremes in which talking about them becomes okay without us being small minded as well? Are we still great minded because we are discussing this idea at length, or are we average minded because we're also discussing the fact that they seem small minded? I mean, we're assuming they're small minded because we're listening to them gossiping about other people, but we're talking about them doing it. We honestly have no other information about them to make this assumption, they could all be geniuses and we wouldn't know it. Or are we just people, and perhaps we all do this sort of thing all the time because it's simply human nature, and ultimately we are all great and small minded to some degree?
  • INTJ: Probably that last one.
  • ENFP: Are you sure, or are we lying to ourselves because we know that we're likely no different than those girls at all and we just don't want to admit it and would rather live in the delusion that we're better than them?
  • INTJ: Honestly, I just want to eat my food.

writeonsha  asked:

You mentioned using oatmeal in savory foods instead of rice, which caught my attention. Do you have a favorite recipe that you wouldn't mind sharing? Stuffing, yummm!

It’s an old Scottish dish that doesn’t get used too much anymore cause things like super noodles tend to be cheaper and quicker to make (less nutritious/filling though) but a real easy quick savory thing you can do with oatmeal is to use chicken or vegetable stock to cook it with instead of water and a pinch of salt. (and before anyone starts the whole “I never salt cooking water” discourse again (what even is my blog sometimes), yes you should always salt the water to cook it with idgaf love yourselves and salt your cooking water as it comes up to heat when you’re cooking—unless you have a reason to avoid sodium in your diet, of course in which case I do gaf and you should do whatever works for you <3—you add the sweetness after, it makes it into a much better cooked, more flavorful food)

If you don’t have any fresh stock to add,  you can throw a stock cube of choice into the water instead, cook your oatmeal like regular. Mines usually takes about 10 minutes on a low simmer. While that’s cooking down I like to chop up some carrots and leeks, maybe some celery if I have some, or any other vegetable you like, and throw them in a pan with a little olive oil and salt till they’re nice and caramelized, throw some oregano or parsley on top. When the oats are done I just throw the veggies in with it and stir it in. That in itself can be quite filling but I’ve also added sliced up chicken or turkey breast/thigh into it as well. 

I basically use it for a rice substitute for any dish that calls for rice. It’s pretty tasty. Even goes quite well with curry sauce I’m told. Some people might not like the texture, (and I can understand why if they’re only experience is Quaker Oats mushy paste—get yourself some Irish steel cut or pinhead oats. My fave is still Bob’s Red Mill Scottish ground oats, tastes just like home and has a nice grainy texture, more like rice I suppose but creamier)

Whole thing takes about maybe, ten, fifteen mins to make? longer of course if you’re making meat to go with it. But it’s fairly simple and fills a hole inexpensively :)

If you had to be stranded on a desert island for a month with one Black Sails character and two props/things from the show (no boats or ships!), who and what would you pick? And how do you think it would go?

anonymous asked:

There's nothing bloody worse than seeing little tiny handprints all over the café windows. I just cleaned them and parents let their little brats put their dirty hands and their sodding breath on them. If they did that at your house, I can guarantee you wouldn't like it so WHY, for the love of god, would you let them do it to windows that DO NOT BELONG TO YOU????

I’ve seen the rear windows on SUV’s and vans that were impossible to see out of. Whether it’s stickers, food, slime, or other goo I can believe they don’t even notice when their crotch fruit touch the display cases and store windows.

When I worked at the ice cream shop I always made sure the glass next to the door was spotless. Because of the design of the store it looked like the exit and people were always slamming into it. Funny shit.


Fake Chats #130
  • Jungkook: hung, would you miss me if I died?
  • Jimin: what kind of ridiculous question is that? Of course I would! I miss you when we're apart for more than a day!
  • Jungkook: okay, okay, I didn't think you'd be happy.
  • Jimin: I don't even want to think about it.
  • Jungkook: I'm sorry, I won't say something like that again.
  • Jimin: you better not.
  • Jungkook: can I make it up to you?
  • Jimin: buy me food.
  • Jungkook: we're too busy for that.
  • Jimin: give me that ring of yours that I like.
  • Jungkook: you said you liked it on me!
  • Jimin: lemme sleep on you, you're comfy.
  • Jungkook: okay, that I can do.
  • Later, Jungkook: I thought you weren't gonna post that video.
  • Jimin: why wouldn't I?
  • Jungkook: you're all fluffy and cuddly.
  • Jimin: and?
  • Jungkook: and I'm like this giant kid.
  • Jimin: I fail to see your point. I'm just showing us as we are.
  • Jungkook: I guess. But warn me next time so I don't look like a human bunny.