i would watch the crap out of this

the signs as shit gordon ramsay says in kitchen nightmares
  • aries: you fucking donut
  • taurus: i would like to pray before i eat this
  • gemini: you stuck up precious little bitch
  • cancer: bland as fuck
  • leo: have you ever sat at a table and watched 6 customers with its fucking donkey dick swinging in front of its face? it's hilarious
  • virgo: no, don't eat that, i don't want to be responsible for putting you back in the hospital
  • libra: it's not a crab cake... it's a crap cake
  • scorpio: that baby was fucking ugly
  • sagittarius: *gags and spits out food*
  • capricorn: looks like a fucking flip-flop
  • aquarius: stuffed clams. looks like a dog shat in the shells
  • pisces: i need the toilet, excuse me, i knew it would come out faster than it went in
Stop trying to demonize lars for what happened in “I am my mom”

He did not save Sadie? He had a panic attack! he had been abducted, held captive for days, taken aboard a space ship, and was staring at a hulking super powered wall of mussel that he had only just got free off. Being scared of dangerous gems and their tech is rational and not knew or just Lars.

Remember in early parts of season 1 when Steven, back when he did not have much training or experience, had to be poofed home because a mission was to intense? or when he got so scared in that Gem maze that he blacked out and Garnet had to carry him? Well he was still barely more than a human kid and was in over his head. It was really scary and he reacted scared.

Remember when we first met Connie? she and Steven got stuck in one of Stevens bubbles. No monsters, no weapons being pointed at them, they are just stuck in a giant hamster toy. Yet still Connie spent the whole episode freaking out and crying how she thought she was going to die ad she all the things she will never get to do. Well she was just a girl and she was stuck in something. It was scary and she reacted scared

Remember Jamie in the episode? spent the whole time dramatically describing how he expected them all to be killed, caused the panic level to rise, pleaded with a fourteen year old kid to save him before getting to safety, had to be carried out by said child because he was paralyzed with fear. People call his reaction understandable, funny, and adorable; and I am glad they are so kind to him. He is a human in a scary situation, that he as no training for, and he reacted scared.

Now lets look at Sadie. Everybody is saying how she should hate him, and if it were reversed she would have saved him, but is that true? Anyone who watches the show objectively will notice that Sadie pulls, or stands by watching, a lot of bad crap, at the same time Lars does. The characters make an interesting couple because they are very similar in habits and flaws. Unlike Lars though half this fandom gives Sadie a free pass on her crap because she is female, and because they are so happy to see a short, chunky girl on T.V. (note I am not trying to insult either representation. I happen to be extremely short myself.). In that house of horror episode she did nothing to stop Ronaldo from saying this was all Lars fault, and trying to sacrifice him to the house; she just watched scared and tried to get out herself. Yes she saved them in the island episode, but that was after Steven threw her a stick and reminded her that she was a good hunter, before that she was running in blind fear just like the other two. Why did she act like this? Because she is a human who was over her head, in a scary situation, and reacted scared.

In all of this I have only described human characters, and Steven before he learned to use his gem powers. How many times have Gems lost it and reacted bad. Hey lets talk about real people. I could say I would fight if someone cam after me and my friends, But the truth is that unless I was grabbled I would lose my mind and flee. Any of you who are criticizing Lars can say that you would stay and fight a attacker/kidnapper, but honestly unless you have like military or police training it is safe to bet you would lose your minds and run. The first lesson you are taught in self defense classes “scream as loud as you can, and run at first chance”.

Fear is a natural and human emotion. It can at times prevent you from doing what you  want to, especially when it comes in a force strong enough to cause panic attacks. It is wrong to call someone a bad guy or weak person because they got scare

i want you (m) pt.1

Originally posted by jjks

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut (incl. public sex, bathroom sex, teasing etc..)

word count: 5k

description: i want you, and i can tell you want me too

a/n: it’s like 6am and i started writing at 3 but i wanted it out today as an apology for the yoongi fic, lol


[12:01AM] are u coming?

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Sometimes I forget that the Noah family is actually really cute and nice if you ignore the fact they kill people and make akuma.

My All || Min Yoongi

Originally posted by mn-yg

Word Count: 2.2k

Genre: Angst/Fluff

AN: So I tried to make this really angsty, but somehow the ending ended up being a ton of fluff, but I don’t think anybody’s really complaining.


You weren’t quite sure what it was. The feeling of being dragged under the depths of the waves, drowning under the words everyone else threw at you. No matter how many times you tried to burst through the surface to try and breathe, you were always dragged back under, being surrounded and trapped.

There was no way out at this point. No matter what you did you always found yourself back at this place. A never-ending cycle of depression that enveloped you with open arms. As if anxiety were a person who kept you trapped in their arms, suffocating you within their grasp and keeping you silent.

You didn’t know how or why it happened, you just knew that it did. There was no way to control it. There were some days where it wouldn’t hit at all and everything would seem okay. Then there would be days like this where you weren’t able to pull yourself out of bed because it felt like there was a weight on your chest, keeping you trapped there.

It didn’t help with all of the messages and comments you kept getting. People thought they had a say in who you were because of the fact that you were with someone like Min Yoongi. They thought that they got to make the decision about who you were. And if you didn’t follow all of their wants and wishes they had a right to lash out at you.

The first thing you would see when you checked your phone in the morning, wouldn’t be the messages from your boyfriend that you were so desperately waiting to see, but the messages the fans left you because they saw you eat more than you were supposed to, or they saw you hang out with a friend from school.

He was on tour at the moment, going to different countries and performing, and every morning he would send you good morning texts, no matter what time it was for him. All he cared about was making sure you remembered how much he loved you and how much he cared for you.

It was hard to remember when the only thing you could focus on was the comments from people who didn’t know you, who said that you should work out more, or that you shouldn’t be allowed to date Yoongi because you didn’t look anything like his ideal type. It got to you, even though you fought as hard as you could so that it wouldn’t.

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Wrapped Around; pt.5

Jimin x Reader x Tae // College!AU // 12.6k words

Originally posted by jeonsshi

Summary: Freshman year was a mess and sophomore year doesn’t seem to be looking too good either. You know boys like them are no good for you but maybe they’re just your kind of type

Genre: Fluff, Angst

A/N: weow 1 month later here is part 5!! thank you for your patience ya dumplings (’:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 2.5 | Part 3 | Part 3.5 | Part 4

Previously…

Tae was right, he warned you to watch yourself around him and you felt so dumb, so hurt that you had let yourself become one of those girls. You had sworn that you wouldn’t let Jimin get to you but here you were sitting in your bed feeling as broken as all the other girls that had slept with the player that was Park Jimin. Stupid, stupid you.


Glancing at the time on your phone, you pick up the pace of your steps. Your cousin had given you 10 minutes to get to the restaurant before he makes you buy your own meal. The cold winter air bites at your skin as you sprint towards the entrance of the diner, hoping and praying that the heater had been turned on to its highest setting in there. You were so cold that you were sure your fingers were going to fall off at any point now but damn it you’d do anything for free food.

Stepping into the diner, you let out a sigh of relief at the wave of warm air that hits you. Honestly, how can anyone enjoy winter when it’s so horridly cold? You shrug off your hood, eyes scanning the establishment as you look for your cousin.

“Y/N!”

Damn.

“Mina,” You smile stiffly as you watch her drape her coat over the back of her chair.

“You made it!” She beams and you hesitate for a while before walking over to take a seat next to your cousin who only looks at you in shock. “I told you she would!” She exclaims, turning to your cousin who now had his head in his hands.

“Crap, I can’t believe you actually got here in time,” Your cousin groans as he pulls out his wallet to count the number of bills he had. “Remind me to never underestimate your will when it comes to getting free food.”

“I told you not to bet against me, didn’t I?” You laugh, trying your best to cover the look of disdain as you sit across Mina, envy running through your veins at the mere sight of her.

“Whatever,” Your cousin huffs, dismissing you with a wave of his hand before he turns to Mina. “What’re you doing here so late anyway?” He asks.

“Well I could ask the same,” She quips.

“We had a busy night so we got up pretty late.”

“Huh, what a coincidence… Me too,” She smirks and you let your fingernails dig into your palm, wishing nothing more than to wipe that smirk off her face.

Keep reading

Rude Boy (1)

Pairing: Bucky X Reader

Words: 2858

Warnings: Violence (some triggering scenes so please go away if this might make you uncomfortable). Lap dance.

Summary:  You go undercover with Bucky where you need to get a flashdrive from a HYDRA agent who frequents a men’s club. Your job is to give him a lap dance, get him knocked out, and steal the flash drive. Things don’t go as planned because someone gets a little jealous and decides to, quite literally, knock the agent out.

A/N: Because why not. So I had to put it in 2 parts again. If sexual harassment makes you uncomfortable, please go away. I don’t want to cause anyone any harm or pain. If you want to read the smut, it’s the next part.

Permanent Tag List:  @meganlane84 @mizzzpink @bringmetheemobands

Part 2

Originally posted by jerry-malina

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more texts for you bitches [pt 2]

angsty af texts

[text]: I’m not talking about this with you anymore I am so mad
[text]: So you decide to treat me better AFTER you break up with me…yeah, no. Not gonna happen. Lay off.
[text]: FYI telling a person to calm down is about the LEAST productive thing one could do!
[text]: Do you seriously have that little respect for me?
[text]: You’re a piece of shit.
[text]: Take a hint – I want nothing to do with you.
[text]: I hate that bitch.
[text]: I don’t think this is how you treat someone you love
[text]: You have to take me back. Please.
[text]: I don’t like to leave loose ends and I realized I needed to live up to my own problems and insecurities.
[text]: It’s like you didn’t even realize what you said was immensely fucked up.
[text]: I also broke up with my [boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other] tonight
[text]: What does it say about my self-esteem if I continue this?
[text]: I just don’t really feel like being your secret.
[text]: I just feel like no matter what I say it’s not correct
[wrong number text]: I think I’m gonna break up with [your muse]…I’m done.
[wrong number text]: [Your muse] just pissed me off so much.

flirty af texts

[text] Well, let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It’s every girl’s dream.
[text]: I’m sorry I asked to make out with you last night
[text]: So you don’t remember asking if you could kiss me?
[text]: Is it gay if I had sex with a guy during a threesome?
[text]: You have to love more than my vagina to be boyfriend material
[text]: I get nervous saying so in person, but I thought you were pretty adorable
[text]: Good morning. It’s [your muse’s name], the cutie you met on Tinder.
[text]: If we’re both single by the time we’re 30, let’s elope.
[text]: You’re not single, are you?
[text]: I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
[text]: Here’s an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
[text]: Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that’s not winning at life idk what is
[text]: Hey so I was thinking, would you like to grab a drink this weekend?
[text]: We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers…so that’s how my Thursday is going
[wrong number text]: Do you think [your muse] would say yes if I asked them out for drinks?
[wrong number text]: Holy crap [your muse] is fucking hot
[wrong number text]: To quote Rachel Green, [your muse] is so pretty, I could cry
[wrong number text]: I could never talk to [your muse] … [he/she/they] is so cute I’d be so embarrassed.

friendship af texts

[text]: You didn’t choose the taco life. The taco life chose you.
[text]: Your Snapchat story was solely footage of stray cats and whiskey shots
[text]: I’m eating pizza in the bathtub
[text]: I got high with a cute stranger. But [he/she/they] has a [boyfriend/girlfriend/significant other]. Sad.
[text]: Dude [he/she/they] must have been cute to get you to smoke with [him/her/them]!
[text]: If he’s into you and he’s got a girlfriend, what does that say about his character?
[text]: I’ve been out with this guy twice and no kiss!
[text]: I’ll eat brunch alone. No ones good enough when you’re not around
[text]: Anyone coming over I expect to be here by 8. There’s cake.
[text]: I’m masturdating. Going out alone! For fun.
[text]: Is it rude to send him a “Happy Birthday I Hope You Finally Get an STD” text?
[text]: Some guy tried to give me a high five out here and when I denied him he called me ugly
[text]: Please stop putting yourself down I hate when you talk badly about yourself
[text]: If you’re having problems, don’t worry about mine. You’re your own priority.
[text]: You should just dump [him/her/them] and move on.
[text]: I’ve had so many people in like the past week tell me they were closing on or saving for a house…I’m just like, have fun with that
[text]: You might have a house but I just spent hundreds of dollars on highlights so who’s really winning here
[text]: He was so cute, it was a shame it didn’t work out. I loved his face and his penis
[text]: You also look amazing in that pic I can’t stop looking at it lmao
[text]: As soon as I saw [he/she/they] asked me out for drinks, I was like aw fuck
[text]: Your mom is drunk at the bar

“Get a New Tablet” Fundraiser!! (Aka Commissions are Open)

Just yesterday, my tablet completely crapped out on me, and I’m having to watch my wallet more than ever now that I’ve graduated college. SO I’ve decided that I should just get on the commission bandwagon already and ask for some help getting money for a new tablet. I don’t need to fully fund the tablet through this, since my parents are helping cover the cost, just any kind of help would be n i c e. 

I’ll have 10 spots open to draw anything you want. I’ll do OCs, ships, general pretty landscapes, a finely detailed penis, whatever! (just no fetish/kink stuff plz i’ll have to explain my actions to my parents) Once I get the tablet I’ll start on the commissions; It’ll probably take a week to 2 weeks to get my hands on it. For the time being, to make sure people get what they want, I’ll figure out the basic picture in my sketchbook for them to ok before any commitment is made. 

Rates:

Traditional Sketch: $15

Digital Sketch: $20

Digital Sketch (basic color): $25

Lined: $30

Lined (flat color): $35

Lined (detailed color/painted): $40


It would be cool to do personalized watercolors for people, since people seem to love them on here (thank, you btw ❤︎) but I need to figure out how shipping works first to do that. I could always scan it and send the file, though, if that’s enough~ A watercolor would cost $50+ though, just because of expenses. 

Paypal only, please! (cuz it’s all I’ve got)

I don’t know how many people would be interested in this, but I’ve been wanting to do work for other people for a long time. If you’re interested, just send me a message! ❤️

UNBREAKABLE

Requested: no.

Warnings: none.

This is really different but I really like it. I’m proud of this one. Hope you enjoy it.

Originally posted by dreamilygloriousarcade

Would you believe me, if I said I went To the same church as Justin Bieber? I doubt it. People never did. But then again, who would?

But I do. And I have for a while now.

It’s not like we’ve talked or anything. In fact, I don’t think Justin even knows my name, but I still see him every week. So much that seeing him around isn’t even a shock anymore.

To me, he’s now just a normal person, attending church on a Sunday - who goes upon there normal day just like any one else would.

The church I attended was a private one. Very closed off and self kept. It was no wonder Justin came along.

At first, he would come along with his family. Sometimes alone. Basically just came to say grace, attend mass then leave. And it was like that for around a year, before I noticed someone else.

A girl who’s name I learnt to be Y/N. She was sweet from what I had seen. A religious girl who had good intentions. It surprised me to see her considering we usually don’t get a lot of new faces here.

She was friendly to everyone - including Justin. They looked like a couple of old friends who had grown up together and I actually think that’s what they were.

From what I had heard from my mother they have been best friends since as long as they could remember. And apparently Y/N’s normal Church closed down, so Justin invited her to join him at ours until she found a new parish.

But What was supposed to be a one time thing turned into a series of repetitive events, and after a month, she was considered a member of the church.

I honestly didn’t mind. It wasn’t like she was bothering me or anything and she was rather friendly. I liked her.

Months had passed and everyone in the church had begun to see a change in attitude around the two. It was as if they both a had a secret they were too afraid to tell each other but otherwise tried to act as if it wasn’t there.

But everyone else in the church had noticed. I remember my mother talking to Mrs smith one weekend after church about the two - they were saying how they ‘had seen this coming since the day Justin brought her to the church.’ Whatever that meant.

What did they see coming?

It wasn’t until weeks later I realised what they were talking about. One week at mass I watched them intensely, there was something about them that was just so interesting.

I may have been sitting a few seats behind them, but it was impossible to miss the way they were looking at each other when the other wasn’t. The love in there eyes.

That’s when I knew that they both had feelings for each other, they were just too afraid to admit it.

Time went by and nothing had changed. The problem about our church though is the church mothers love to gossip, and the kids love there media.

Apparently, some of the teen girls had seen on tmz some rumours that the two were dating, and they must have passed that message to there parents because it wasn’t long before the whole church was talking about it.

I didn’t believe it. I never believed anything the church mothers talked about. They’re always full of crap. But it came as a surprise the next Sunday when justin and Y/N walked in, smiling at each other with so much love, hand in hand.

Honestly, I was glad. It was about time. If I’m being honest, I think they looked cute together.

They were touchy throughout mass. Rubbing each other backs, winding their fingers through each other’s and even giving each other short, small pecks throughout.

It was honestly adorable.

And of course the church talked. No one in this place can keep there mouths shut but I didn’t mind talking about them. They were fascinating to me. And no one was saying anything bad.

A couple months had gone by and nothing had changed. They still had the same amount of love and passion in there eyes for each other. Sometimes they would show up looking a little pissed and avoided each other, but the next week they’d come back as if nothing had happened.

Just like a normal couple.

Justin continued making music and I even heard that Y/N got into modelling. Good for her, she had the body for it.

But that got the church talking once again. I think the girls were jealous honestly since from then on out people began throwing crap Y/N’s way. But after a while it passed.

Years had gone by and i think they were around 23 now. I know because Justin was exactly 6 years older then me. And I had just turned 17.

They still attended church, still sat in the same seats and shared the same love but one thing was different. Not only did they seem a lot more happy, but something in particular seemed to stand out.

Of course, this had the Parrish gossiping like crazy. Especially once they caught the size of the 27 carat diamond engagement ring wrapped around Y/N’s slender finger.

From that day on, the church began looking at her differently which was really uncalled for and rude. She had done nothing wrong and minded her own business - not disturbing anyone. But the Parrish saw her as spoiled and a gold digger.

Which didn’t make sense. It wasn’t like she askedfor the ring. It was Justin’s idea to propose. And they were a beautiful couple. Not just by looks but by personality as well.

Yet the couple went unphased. And a couple months later they both sported another ring each. Both just a simple wedding band.

Of course I didn’t attend the wedding personally but I heard they got married in the Parrish church. And the photos that flooded the internet only proved that theory.

Everything about the two was perfect. And they continued to attend mass together like a normal couple would.

All until a few weeks later. When Y/N walked in looking tired and saddened. Alone.

No Justin. And it was like that for a little while. She was alone.

I couldn’t believe it and apparently neither could the Parrish. They talked like crazy, some saying that they saw it coming and knew they wouldn’t last but others in as much shock as I was.

I couldn’t believe that they had broke up. They were so happy. I just couldnt figure out what went wrong.

But if you think that was a surprise, then you had to see how much more surprised we were to realise a couple months later, that Y/N’s stomach had grown.

No not fat. But Baby weight.

She was pregnant.

I couldn’t believe it. I felt so sympathetic for Justin. And the church couldn’t either. The news and rumours spread so fast after that and I even remember the day I heard it.

It was from Mrs Banks, the young housewife with the twin girls. Her daughters where bitches.but I remember my mother talking to her, and the way the news slipped Mrs banks lips, as if she was talking about a convict in prison. So much disgust.

‘She cheated on him.’

She said.

'she got pregnant with the other mans baby and poor Justin couldn’t take the heartbreak - left the sorry women just like she deserved.’

I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t believe such a sweet women could do such a terrible thing. Or maybe she wasn’t as sweet as i thought.

I avoided her for a long while after that. She tried being friendly, tried to say hello or throw a smile at me but I kept my distance. I was surprised father Gabriel hadn’t kicked her out.

A few more weeks went by, her stomach grew and so did the gossip and rumours. But suddenly, a month or two later, something happened. Something so small, yet it caused the whole church to shut there mouths.

Justin showed up one day. Not alone. Not with family. But with Y/N. Smiling.

He was walking behind her, with one hand on her swelling stomach and the other clutching her hand which also rest on her stomach. He guided her down the isle and into there usual seats, cuddling next to her.

Like nothing had happened.

Every pair of eyes where on them. Even father Gabriel’s.

Everyone was confused. Why had Justin gotten back with her? After what she did. I would never have forgiven her.

But it wasn’t long for word to get around. The truth. A girl who was a fan of Justin had actually asked him.

I don’t know how. I would have been so embarrassed. Thats such an invasion of privacy, yet she did it and I’m honestly glad she did.

Y/N never cheated. And the baby was Justin’s! The reason she showed up alone was because Justin had been on tour and everyone had overreacted.

I told you the woman were full of crap.

Anyways, months passed and Y/N’s stomach continued to grow. Swelling with life and beauty. Justin and herself looked so happy. And every time they walked in, I couldn’t help but notice how Justin clutched her stomach. It was so beautiful.

Everything was normal until one day, they both just stopped showing up.

It disappointed me. I really enjoyed watching the two from a distance, examining there lives. I wondered where they went. And hoped they would come back to the Parrish.

But they didn’t. Not the next week, or the week after that. Not even the week after that. They were both MIA.

I was convinced they had found a new Parrish. One with less crap and gossip. I wouldn’t blame them.

But that wasn’t the case, and we all found that out when they finally one Sunday, showed up again. This time, Y/N was not pregnant.

And Justin seemed a lot happier. So did Y/N but she also seemed tired. Not sad though. It was like a happy tired.

It was pretty obvious what had happened but I was still shocked when Justin’s body came into full view.

In his hands, he held a beautiful baby girl, dressed in a pink dress with a white flower band on her hair.

The girl was stunning. She had a full head of hair which was obviously inherited from her mothers thick dark brown hair, but was a dirty blonde like her father. Long thick eyelashes supported her eyes and a cute button nose sat on her face.

She was really small. But I think she was actually premature by a couple of weeks. So it made sense that the two weren’t at church for the last few weeks. They were busy looking after there new born baby girl.

And although Y/N brought a pram along with her, Justin didn’t put his little girl down. It was obvious he was proud of his little beauty. I would be too. She was really cute.

And well behaved. I hadn’t heard her cry all mass. There was a few times when the baby girl would stir, become a little restless but all Justin would need to do was say “shh it’s alright” and she would settle.

It truly was adorable.

And it wasn’t until Justin wrapped his arm around his wife, as Y/N placed a hand on her daughters leg and another around Justin’s torso that I truly realised.

This family was unbreakable.

anonymous asked:

Hiya! Would you mind doing a writing with either Genji or McCree when they have lazy day at home with their s/o? Like whichever one you choose they just have a nice sweet day with their s/o and maybe they cuddle and kiss em a bit? :0c Keep up the good work running this blog!!!!

((A/N - sorry for the break! 24 hours does not seem like enough hours in a day eugh))

Genji

Something soft stroked your cheek. You leaned into the touch, moaning softly. It travelled up the side of your face, combing through your hair. You opened one eye and saw sunlight flittering through the window. You promptly closed your eyelid, groaning and rolling over so you were facing away from the light. You heard a chuckle from above you. You peeked over your shoulder to see Genji sitting upright on the bed, leaning against a pillow with his hand still tangled in your locks.

“Come back. I was enjoying that.”

You mumbled incoherently into your pillow.

“Please?”

You sighed. You lay on your front with your head facing your boyfriend.

“Better?” You said, voice still slightly muffled from the awkward angle.

“Yes, thank you.”

You relaxed into his hand, which was now massaging your scalp. The touch travelled down to your nape, the heavenly feeling of your neck being massaged while your hair being played with was keeping you in a drowsy state. You managed to worm your hand out from underneath your body, curling it up and placing it by Genji’s hip, your fingers lightly drifting over his exposed skin.

“(Y/N).”

A grunt escaped your throat.

“Would you like some breakfast?”

You hummed in response. You had ended up falling asleep early last night, having to make Genji carry you from the sofa to the bed. However, falling asleep early also meant you missed out on dinner and you could feel your stomach slightly rumbling.

“Stay.” Your boyfriend commanded.

You weren’t in any position to say no. You were far too relaxed, stretching out like a lazy cat. The sun was warm on your bare skin not being covered by the duvet. You felt Genji climb out of bed and his little tapping all the way to the kitchen. He made noise mostly for you. Him being a ninja meant he had conditioned himself to not make noise, but after the one time you genuinely nearly shat yourself after he tried to surprise you he had made a promise to himself to make his whereabouts known to you.

Clanging came from the kitchen, no doubt the cupboard full of pots and pans was opened and it all came tumbling to the floor. You gently snorted to yourself at the thought. Genji belonged in the kitchen as much as a bull in a china shop. The two just clashed. It made you smile to think he was going to the effort to please you, though.

You dozed off into sleep, hearing a frustrated groan every now and then from the other room. Only moments seemed to pass and you were being woken by a rather enthusiastic Genji, holding a tray in one hand the other shaking your shoulder.

“Breakfast in bed.” He proudly announced.

You grinned at him. Eagerly sitting up, you looked at what he made for you. A glass of orange juice, a slice of toast with butter, a crispy rasher of bacon, fluffy scrambled eggs and two of the most juiciest sausages you had ever seen. There was also a second identical plate for him.

“Wow, I’m amazed.”
“You are welcome, (Y/N).”

You leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.

“Thank you, my love.”

You were genuinely surprised with how well Genji had cooked your food. He took your plate from you when you were finished and scuffed out to the kitchen.

You threw the covers off of you and decided to throw on something comfortable. It was a lazy day today; no work, no plans, no nothing. Just you and Genji to relax. Throwing on a baggy t-shirt and some underwear, you walked into the living room and plopped yourself down on the couch.

Genji came up behind and ruffled your hair before placing himself next to you. You lay down, head resting on his lap.

“What would you like to watch?” He asked, flicking on the television.
“Anything. Even if it’s that daytime telly crap.”
He looked down at you, amused. You shot up a smug grin before laughing to yourself.

You loved lazy days. Especially with Genji.

Jesse

You were flat on your back on the floor of yours and Jesse’s shared apartment, arms and legs spread out.

“Please, no more.” You begged, panting.

You were looking up at your boyfriend who was standing over you triumphantly, feet apart and hands on his hips.

“I can do this all day, sweetheart.”

You groaned. For the last half an hour or so you had been trying to escape your apartment. You had told Jesse there were just a few e-mails you had to send and then you’d be straight back. He, however, had other plans. Every time you tried to get up he would be all over you, digging his fingers into your ribs, armpits, thighs, where ever he could reach. You were incredibly ticklish, which was an absolute nightmare for you.

“I just need to run to my office and-”

You couldn’t even finish your sentence before he crouched down and had his large hands hovering over your dishevelled top.

“You done?” His eyebrows were raised, eyes daring you to say another word.
“Please?” You whined.

He grinned wolfishly, baring his teeth.
“Wrong answer, doll.”

He instantly wiggled his fingers on your ribs, making you scream while laughing. He was not relenting, you tried curling into a ball only to give him access to another area he could tickle you. Your breath became short, trying to whack his hands away and plead with your boyfriend at the same time. Only when he saw tears rolling down the side of your face did he take his hands away and sit back on his heels.

“It’s your day off, (Y/N). Work can wait.”

You brought a hand up to the corner of your eye to wipe away a tear.

“Okay. I’ll stop trying to leave.”
“You sure?”
Yes.”
“S'posed to be a lazy day, (Y/N).”

You sighed, slumping back into your original starfish position.

“Y'need t'learn how to switch off.”

Your eyebrows creased, frowning at the cowboy.

“Go sit on the couch ‘nd lemme look after ya.”

You lifted your hand slowly, scared to make any sudden movements which made Jesse chuckle. He took your hand and lifted you off the ground with ease. You stumbled into his arms, encasing you in a bear hug. Jesse smelt like coffee, tobacco and gunpowder. You took in a deep breath, associating him with what is now your home.

“You okay, doll?”

You nodded, not bothering to be vocal. It would have been muffled by his chest anyway. You let out a little cry as you realised his hug was a ploy to get you to the couch, your toes now only skimming the ground as Jesse waddled over. He gently placed you down and and pushed you, making you topple over. You huffed at him, crossing your arms.

He plopped himself next to you, wiggling around to get comfy. He flung his arm over your shoulder and brought you in close so you were laying on his chest, peppering kisses onto the top of your head.

“Now, stay with me. Don’t want you runnin’ off.”

You hummed, amused. Your hum turned into a mewl when he started scratching your head, your body becoming limp and relaxing into his embrace.

“There we go, sweetpea. Di'n’t I say I’d take care o’ ya?”

You kept silent, only letting out a reluctant, ‘mmhm’ when he briefly took his hand away.

“Good.”

Jesse reached over and switched on the television with the remote, flicking through channels. It was for background noise more than anything, you halfway to going back to sleep because of how relaxed you were.

You hadn’t realised you had dozed off until you were being woken by a southern drawl. You buried your face into his stomach and wrapped your arms around his waist.

“Darlin’, I need to make us lunch.” He repeated, laughter behind his voice.

It was indeed a lazy day, one that you had needed for a while. The thing you loved about Jesse was that he could make you switch off from work. You loved him for it.

Roseville: Chapter One

Okieriete Onaodowan X Reader

Chapter One | Chapter Two

Note: This is that Oak fic idea I had, it started with the idea of Oak with a tattoo of an oak tree on his back and then this happened. Thank you to @patron-saintof-sluts who yelled with me about this fic when I had the idea and helping me plan out so much of this world, @imaginebeinghamiltrash for proofreading and giving me confidence and @sunshinemiranda for letting me yell at her about this too.

Warnings: alcohol consumption, 

Word Count: 2,522

Tagged:  @tallish-hobbit @hamiltonsquills @rottwat @iamgrayfox@justanotherone2u@angesansnom @lupinschocolatefrog @butlinislin @eternallyademon@i0do0not0knoe@iamindeedapotato @tailored-shirt-tails @ordinaryornate @star-trek-supernatural@femilton@noluckmonday @haletotheking24 @hmltntrsh51 @getmeoneincarolina @ramsassy-rhino-beetle @whenthingsgettoughdontpushmeaway


Okieriete Onaodowan was something of a mystery in your town.

Most people in town judged him by his size. They assumed that due to his large muscular frame that he is some sort of thug or something. But that isn’t him, he’s a quiet, kind man who doesn’t like to fight, and would much rather prefer to talk through an issue than throw a punch, unfortunately only the people close to him are able to see that side of him.  

Being only a couple of years younger than him, and able to watch him in school and, admittedly, you had a bit of a crush on him. It was is quiet and intriguing demeanor that did it. You used to watch him with his friends, a loud group who had fun and caused some trouble, but he was always the quiet one. The one who hung back and didn’t speak too much.

You were never really friends with his group in school, they were always nice to you but you never really fit in. It wasn’t until a few years after school when you moved back to town after graduating from college that you really found a place in their group.

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Lost Home

A/N: This is my entry for @bionic-buckyb ‘s 5k AU Challenge. Q bit long but I hope you guys like it.

Prompt: “I don’t care if you hate me, I don’t care if you dislike me. But why would you cheat on me?”

Word Count: 2364 Words

Warnings: cheating, maybe a curse word.

“MOOOMM!!! JACOB HAS MY DOLL!!” your daughter Becca shouted from upstairs followed by the sound of someone falling.

Sighing you picked up the baby, Mason and walked the two of you up the stairs to figure out if your two oldest had killed each other yet.

When you reached the playroom, you saw the kids sitting on the floor with a broken doll in the middle of them. As they watched you come in, they started talking at the same time- both trying to speak louder than the other.

Setting Mason down on the floor to let him crawl around and entertain himself, you walked over to the broken doll and picked up the pieces. Placing them in the trash, you turned around to face your kids with your arms crossed.

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High Tensions - Five

Reid x Reader

The game was suspended over the next five days due to the team being called away. Derek had made a comment about room sharing when it had come to the evening as there weren’t enough spare rooms at the hotel for you to each have one. 

“I vote Reid and Y/N share. I’m sure I’ve got this week in the pool anyway.”

Hotch had glared at him and you’d spoke before he had chance to, “Not gonna happen Morgan. Play is suspended when we’re out in the field. Let’s try to be professional shall we?“ 

Hotch had nodded at you approvingly and in the end it had ended up being you and JJ sharing. 

You’d been talking to her the last night you were there. The case had been solved but it was too late for you to fly home so you were spending another night before taking off early the next day. 

“So how’s it going between you too? Because we’re not actually seeing that much interaction between you so we can’t tell who’s got the upper hand,” she said into the darkness. 

“Erm, honestly Jayge I’m not sure. Some days I think I’ll get him to cave but others I think he’ll make me cave.” Some of the texts he’d been sending to you this evening were pure filth, all very much along the lines of the things he’d said to you in the email that Hotch had intercepted, and every so often he’d look you dead in the eyes and lick his lips slowly. 

“Really? That’s unexpected. Go Spence……Are you sure that this won’t affect you working together though?”

“I don’t think so. It’s just sex right? Why, do you think it will be weird for Spencer?”

“I’m not sure. I was surprised that he wanted in on the whole thing to begin with because he’s never really shown that side of him. But I guess if you’re thinking of caving then you must be seeing a different side to him. ”

You nodded although she couldn’t see you, debating whether to share one of the messages with her. “Jeez, you’ve got no idea. Do you wanna hear one of the texts he’s sent me? You can’t say anything to him though. ”

“God yes, I wanna hear what our Boy Wonder’s been saying to you to make you consider throwing in the towel.”

You pulled out your phone swiping until you found one, the light illuminating the room. 

“I’d eat you out slowly, letting my tongue circle your clit until you were close to coming. Then I’d slide my throbbing dick into you, filling you completely and fucking you painstakingly slow until you beg me to go faster.” You smirked as you read his words, watching as JJ lifted herself onto her side to stare at you, her expression incredulous. You’d been pretty incredulous too when you’d read it yourself. 

“No fucking way. Spencer…. Our Spencer sent you that? When? Oh my god!”

“When we were all at dinner earlier.”

“That’s why you two kept getting your phones out. You were fucking sexting? Spencer doesn’t sext!! What did you send back?”

You coughed, finding your own reply.

“Sweetie I’ve never begged a man, or woman for anything. They beg to be able to do those things to me. The only way you’d be eating me out is if you beg and plead with me to sit on your face. And Spence, I would grind all over that pretty mouth of yours. You just have to ask.”

“Fuck me Y/N! Did he text back?”

You nodded. “All he replied was ‘We’ll see who’s pleading to fuck who’s mouth. You’ve seen how fast I can talk when I’m excited about something. You know how fast my tongue can move.’”

“Jesus Christ, I never knew Reid had any of that in him. Fuuuuck. He’s so much more attractive to me right now.”

You flung your spare pillow at her. "Er Will?“ 

She laughed, “I know I know. But he never sends me any stuff like that.”

“So send it to him then.”

“You know, I just might.”

The rest of the team had passed out yet again on the flight home, and you were passing the time catching up on Game of Thrones on your laptop.

You felt a tug on your ear bud as a body deposited itself in the seat next to you. Spencer. He’d woken up, his hair still messy. 

“Watcha watching?” he leant in closer to see, his hand brushing your thigh. 

“Just some GoT. Catching up before the next season comes out.”

“Mind if I watch with you?”

You handed him the ear piece nearest to you and he moved closer to get a better view. This was the sort of stuff you did when you actually hung out as normal friends, as opposed to friends who were trying get the other to beg them for a banging. 

It was nice, seemingly being normal together again and you watched the rest of the episode in companionable silence. 

And then the next episode started, and then there was scene with two of Little Finger’s brothel girls touching each other. 

Crap. 

To skip it would be too obvious so you let it run, feeling an intake of breath from the man beside you. 

And then that man’s hand moved to your thigh, your thigh that was bare because you were wearing a skirt and had torn your last pair of pantyhose this morning. 

Your eyes flickered to the side, Spencer’s eyes still focused on the screen in front of you. His hand started to move in small circles, inching further and further up your leg. It tickled and not in the ‘haha’ way. More the, ‘oh my fuck, any minute now and he’s going to make me moan’ way.

Pulling your lip between your teeth, you bit down hard. You could no longer look at the screen, what those two girls were doing to each other as well as what Spencer was doing to your leg was a recipe for disaster. 

He shifted his weight, his hand moving to the inside of your thigh and slipping higher, his fingers disappearing underneath the fabric of your skirt. 

Your body betrayed you then, your legs falling apart slightly ready to allow him access, and you could feel yourself growing warm…..uncomfortably so. 

His long fingers moved higher, a smile on his lips as he heard you whimper, you cursing yourself internally. He was so close to your panties now he had to be able to feel the heat radiating from you and if moved his hand oh so slightly, he’d certainly be able to feel what he was doing to you. 

Through gritted teeth you muttered, “Any higher Reid, and you’ll be stroking my pussy through my underwear. And that means I win. One touch and I win this.”

“Which is why I’m staying very clear of that area Y/N, although I can feel that you want me. It’s soo warm down here. And I can feel you having to tense yourself to avoid pushing yourself against my hand. Just let it happen, you know you want it to.”

He moved his hand so it was almost cupping you, only millimetres away. He was right, you were having to work so hard at this and the amount of wanting and desire you felt right then was too much to bear. You literally only had to move the tiniest amount and his hands would be on you.

You yanked his hand away, standing up and pushing past him, walking quickly down the aisle to the bathroom and locking the door behind you. 

Fuuuck. Fuck fuck fucking fuck. 

You sat down on the toilet, pulling your panties down and spotting that tell tale damp patch. And then….. An idea. 

Cleaning yourself up with tissues you exited, noting that the rest of the team were still asleep. Thank God. 

You sat opposite Spencer this time, seeing the smirk on his face. The sexy little shit bag. 

You tossed something black and lacy to him, him catching it with a curious look on his face. 

The look on his face when he realised he was holding your underwear was just priceless. Although the look on your face as he spread them open and examined the crotch area was probably worse. 

“I’m guessing if I licked these, I’ll be able to taste your juices on them right?" 

Your eyes widened and he pocketed them, grinning at you. 

The jet began it’s descent and slowly the rest of the team starting waking up, talking amongst themselves. 

The plane landed and taxied into the BAU’s hanger, and the team stood and began making their ways to the exit. Just before you stood yourself, Spencer dropped his phone under the table, in a move which was far from accidental. 

An evil grin on his face as he disappeared underneath it and you felt his hands grip your legs, pulling them apart. 

You gasped, glad that the team was up the other end of the plane. 

His hands slipped up your thighs again and you were so sure you were going to win when you felt a slow hot breath against your clit. Your knee hit the table so quickly and loudly, and Morgan who was closest to you turned around just in time to see Reid scrambling out from beneath the table. 

"Dropped my phone!” He held it up in the air, moving to stand behind Morgan. 

You glared at him. Technically he hadn’t touched you. 

But you’d never been so glad to be wearing a black skirt before in your life. 

He’d won this one.

Hate To Break It To You

Pairing:  Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning:  Swearing?

A/N: Something I found in my saved files, since I’m working on a few things I figured I would post this. It’s probably crap, but enjoy it. Hahaha.

@chrisevansthedoritobastard   @holahellohialoha  @almightyunnie @imamotherfuckingstar-lord  @iwillbeinmynest @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @goodnightwife @irepeldirt  @yourtropegirl  @bellejeunefillesansmerci  @buckyb-avengers  @winterboobaer  @mrhowardstark  @rileyloves5 @ria132love

Originally posted by undercoverfandoms


“Oh please Steve, come with me.” You bat your eyes, poking out your bottom lip pleading with him. “Don’t make me go alone.” You smirk at him as he sighs shaking his head trying to not laugh at you. You’re leaning over the bench press watching Steve deadlift, your eyes travel over his biceps pausing momentarily taking in their glory and size, before breaking eye contact in hopes Steve didn’t catch you gawking.

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SBUK3: Saturday - Karen, Deniz and Oded Panel
  • Aladdin panel wheyyy! (x)
  • Deniz’s reaction to being cast as Aladdin : “I crapped my pants!” (x)
  • Oded does a perfect Disney Jafar/Iago conversation. Seriously perfect. (x)
  • Karen turned up to the jasmine audition in horse riding gear while everyone else was wearing gowns so she almost left the audition (x)
  • Colin thought Karen was crazy for binge watching the show after she found out she got the part (x)
  • Ask Oded about his role as Jafar! (x)
  • Oded says Hook is dreamy and when they did that scene together he would always give Oded the smoulder(x)
  • Karen said she tweeted the pic f the ham to colin because he would always ham it up in front of the camera when doing takes (x)
  • Oded: “Hook is so dreamy!” Karen: “Did Colin do ‘the smolder with you?” So much love for @colinodonoghue1 here (x)
  • Karen and colin love teasing each other on set (x)
  • Deniz would play the EQ, he likes her dresses (x)
  • #DenizAkdeniz “the evil queen” @KarenDavid “aw you took mine” #DenizAkdeniz “well I like the dresses” (x)
  • Karen’s on it today…if Oded was a biscuit he’d be a “Jaffar” cake!! (x)
  • Karen says she can’t wait to see Colin’s jig in the musical episode (x)
  • Everyone is excited to see the musical episode. Karen: “I can’t wait to see Colin’s jig!” (x)

(x)

Auston Matthews - “Buttercup”

Heya! Could you do an auston matthews one where (y/n) is his gf who is visiting from like England and she is at the warm ups before game start and she chirps one of the other team members? And he’s like real proud of some things she says? Thank ya!

After a very long trip you were finally standing in the players tunnel at Air Canada Centre. You had made a surprise visit to see your boyfriend for two years Auston Matthews play against the Dallas Stars. 

Before long the players door opened and out poured the Leafs one by one. The smile on your boyfriends face when he saw you was priceless and worth the countless hours of travel from North Wales to Toronto.

“Why are you doing here?” Auston said picking you up and hugging you tight. 

“I came to see my boyfriend beat the snot out of the Dallas Shits…I’m Dallas Stars.” You joked. “Plus I missed you loads. Good surprise?” You asked kiss his lips.

“Great surprise. God I can’t wait till after the game.” He said wiggling his eyebrows. 

“You’re such a man.” You laughed. “ Good luck babe.” 

With one more kiss and a butt grab Auston was on his way to the ice. You made you way to your seat behind the boys and watched the Leafs and the Stars warm-up. 

“It’s a good thing you’re pretty, cause you can’t play for crap.” You yelled out at number 91 on the Stars. Tyler smiled as he looked back.

“Wait, till you see what I do in the sheets.” He tossed back with a wink.

“Well if it’s anything like you do out there am sure a lot of girls go home upset.” You smiled back.

“Ouch, beautiful and firey. How about we test this theory out after the game buttercup?” He asked with a shit eating grin.

“Not sure my boyfriend would like that idea, but I can ask him if ya want.” You joked smiling at Auston who looked like he was loving every minute of this. 

Tyler acted like he was looking around before saying “Boyfriend? I don’t see any boyfriend?” 

“That’s cause the game hasn’t started yet, buttercup.” You said taking off you jacket to show your Matthews jersey.

-Julianne

Originally posted by mattsmartin

The Gap

Summary: You are a morning person and Yoongi is definitely not—so for better or worse, something is going to change when fate places your windows less than three meters away from each other.
Pairing: Yoongi | Reader
Genre: Fluff, Neighbors AU
Word Count: 2,603
Author’s Note: Inspired by that Friends episode “The One With All The Haste” and the singing man across the way who sang “Morning’s here, sunshine’s here” like clockwork at the crack of dawn.

.

Most people would describe the morning sunlight as bright, cheerful, endearing, warm, and peaceful, the rays like a stretch of encouragement from the sky. The promise of a new day, a brand new 24 hours to start fresh, make better choices, take initiation, try new thing or explore vast places, go on adventures or be in good company. The options were limitless, as high as the sky that shone above.

Yoongi, however, would describe the morning sunlight like a bucket of ice cold water, a bitter cup of coffee—too sharp, too sudden, ripping him apart from joyous things like sleep or dreams or a warm bed. It jolts him awake, clouds his mind more than clears it. More often than not, he finds himself burying his face into his pillow to muffle his groans, clearly hoping that if he groans loud enough it could turn back time.

But alas, that is not how the universe was created—so it doesn’t do much.

Yoongi supposes that a small percentage of this mindset should be his own fault, his own lack of aspirations making the 24 hours appear so much slower than they are to other people. He has dreams of course, passions that could challenge any other visionary on the street. But the weight of life has caught Yoongi in the stream, dragging him down the current and away from his desire, leaving him on the shore that takes the form of a coffee shop across the way. Albeit, it’s not an entirely bad gig—the tip is good and some of his best friends also work in the corner shop and his boss doesn’t actually treat him like shit. It just doesn’t leave Yoongi satisfied. It eats into his already very thinly veiled patience for the morning.

See the light where the sky meets the sea, and it calls me,” A clear voice rings through the thin window in Yoongi’s bedroom, the consistency and deja vu of the noise leaving a painful reminder in Yoongi’s mind about the time as it groans and throws the blankets over his head.

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