i would watch the crap out of this

the signs as shit gordon ramsay says in kitchen nightmares
  • aries: you fucking donut
  • taurus: i would like to pray before i eat this
  • gemini: you stuck up precious little bitch
  • cancer: bland as fuck
  • leo: have you ever sat at a table and watched 6 customers with its fucking donkey dick swinging in front of its face? it's hilarious
  • virgo: no, don't eat that, i don't want to be responsible for putting you back in the hospital
  • libra: it's not a crab cake... it's a crap cake
  • scorpio: that baby was fucking ugly
  • sagittarius: *gags and spits out food*
  • capricorn: looks like a fucking flip-flop
  • aquarius: stuffed clams. looks like a dog shat in the shells
  • pisces: i need the toilet, excuse me, i knew it would come out faster than it went in
i want you (m) pt.1

Originally posted by jjks

pairing: taehyung x reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut (incl. public sex, bathroom sex, teasing etc..)

word count: 5k

description: i want you, and i can tell you want me too

a/n: it’s like 6am and i started writing at 3 but i wanted it out today as an apology for the yoongi fic, lol


[12:01AM] are u coming?

Keep reading

I'm still thinking about this

At the point we leave them in TFP, there are three possible options for John Watson and Sherlock Holmes’ future(s).

1) They remain friends and (maybe) flatmates, solving crimes and raising Rosie, watching crap telly and eating take-out, remaining together for the rest of their lives but never taking a step beyond close friendship. On the one hand, this would fulfill their need for each other in their lives and Mary’s Baker Street “who you are” proclamation. They belong together at Baker Street and that would be accomplished in this scenario. On the other hand, it would leave them both unfulfilled and incomplete romantically which has been canonically declared something they both want and/or need.

2) They remain friends and (maybe) flatmates until the day comes that one or both of them leaves to be with a romantic partner. They’re not going to live together forever and have casual dates or meaningless sex on the side. We know they both want more than that. John wants fulfillment he never got with Mary. And Sherlock especially isn’t going to engage in romantic entanglement unless it’s serious. But we know they both desire it and it would complete them as human beings. So, eventually one or both of them get serious with someone else and moves out. On the one hand, this would fulfill the romantic portion of their lives. On the other, we know they’re never going to be happy without each other. John tried it before and it didn’t work. Even Mary acknowledged that whether or not she was trying to, her presence impeded John and Sherlock from being who they really are and who they are supposed to be, the Baker Street Boys and all that. I do not see that scenario working out well for either of them.

3) They take their relationship to the next level and enter into a romantic/sexual relationship with one another. This would satisfy both the narrative that they belong together at Baker Street while also fulfilling the romantic aspect of both their lives. This is the only possible scenario in both John and Sherlock’s futures that would bring completion to both of them as human beings. This is the ONLY narrative scenario that would reconcile John and Sherlock’s need for each other and for romance. No other future for them makes sense after TFP. They complete one another and they both know it.

Fairy Tail‘s Ending

So yeah. I think a lot of it was that this is the final arc of FT but apparently accord to ANN this is the last arc. Now if your hearing this news your probably going to react in one of 2 ways: oh no I’m so sad or OH THANK GOD!

Now just cause this is the last arc doesn’t mean the series will be over in a week, but still it is on it’s last leg. Now I would say that either it’ll end in summer or possibly a little later.

Now, those who would be sadden by this news, I understand. This series while having some bad moments isn’t a trainwreck as a lot of made it out to be. For many this series holds a special place in their hearts and watch it go feels like not only losing a popular series but also losing a friend they’ve had for a very long time.

But there are those who couldn’t be happier hearing this. This series has pulled so much crap in the last 2 years that not only has it become hard to read but also has ruined a lot of love that people once had for it. I understand that too.

Now for my personal feelings, I’m conflicted. I want this series to end as it has been evident Hiro Mashima has lost a lot of interest in this series and knowing his skill with passion behind a work he can make it great. But, this arc has been awful. It has disappointed so many and rather than ending it like this I would’ve prefered Mashima to come back with that spark and restore the glory the series once had and not just let it burn out and die. I would’ve loved for it to have continued so that we could fix many issues, but the chance of it running longer also runs the chance of running it in the ground further. Which also asks maybe we should leave good enough alone.

With this last arc being so bad it really is a shame. For the final moments of a series are the memories you leave your fans with. With such a bad arc you leave nothing but a bitter taste in people’s mouths and leave the lasting memory of “that series with the really disappointing ending”. With the recent chapters I can only hope for one thing that the ending of this arc is truly great, a bad arc with a good ending at least lessens the blow of the shit people had to put up with in the last 2 years. If this Zeref and Acnologia stuff is done on point, I think the series could salvage a decent ending.

a few tips on the walkout method

hi everyone! so awhile ago, i got caught at target doing the walkout method and i would like to share some tips on how to successfully do it. these are my tips on big stores such as walmart and target. grocery stores may differ slightly with tips. 

• the LP said they began to watch me when I started putting my items into reusable grocery bags. I saw a post on here that said you would be less sus if you bagged your items, and that is not always the case. you may be less sus to other customers, but definitely not to the SA’s. 

• that being said, if you do decide to conceal in reusable bags so that you are less sus while walking out, DO SO while moving. I made the mistake of throwing all my crap into bags while standing in an aisle (with a camera. smh at myself.) I thought it was fine because some people like to have their items neatly organized, but this is what caused LP to watch me. bag your items while walking. 

• I have done the walkout method at target numerous times and I have only gotten caught once. the day I got caught was on a sunday, and it was around 3 pm. before that, I would use the walkout method on weekday nights and never got caught, even though the stores were dead and cashiers were bound to notice me not paying lol. I assume that during the daytime weekends, LP is more active. 

• if you absolutely need your items to be organized but don’t want to use reusable bags because it’s sus, grab a few small cutesy storage boxes and store your items into those to organize them. one day I didn’t have bags and I used this and it worked like a charm! some people don’t use bags at all and it looks perfectly normal. plus, organizational boxes are very useful. and if you don’t need them, you can always donate them. I got the ones pictured below. 

that’s all! please keep in mind these are the tips that worked specifically for me, and if other things like using bags work for you then go ahead. please remember to always stay safe. being too cocky and ignoring my gut feeling is what caused me to get caught!  

Whose Line Is It Anyway sentence starters
  • You are dead to me, nothing but scum. When I look in your eyes I get inflammation of the bum. 
  • To quote Rodgers and Hammerstein, “The hills are alive with the sounds of crap.”
  • Teach me how to sing like you!
  • You see this badge? That means I’m the sheriff.
  • Excuse me, I’m tapped into your cable. Would you mind changing it to channel 8?
  • I feel like I’m the king of the general area!
  • Watch out for those tempo changes, man, ‘cause when we go into the second bridge, this shit takes off.
  • What color’s your poo first thing in the morning?
  • I think a lot of people would stop drinking if they knew what they looked like when they were drunk.
  • I’m a mime!
  • All right men, we’re going into battle tomorrow! Before we do, I think we shall all take a shower! 
  • Don’t worry, I’m a doctor.
  • I thought we were out of the spy business.
  • How would you like to make money in real estate?
  • You know, for as long as I can remember, I’ve had memories.
  • I love you, but I’ve had too many meatballs.
  • I seem to have lost my battery pack somewhere in the area of my buttocks.
  • A featherduster made by a Norwegian. It’s all starting to make sense.
  • You guys wanna fight?
  • If I was a turkey, what would you stuff me with?
  • It’s okay, I have an extra burnoose!
  • I can’t sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I’m shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.
  • I’ll distract them by making a noise like a duck!
  • If Sting retires, will he change his name to Stung?
  • That’s what you get for river dancing in a thong.
  • Sorry I’m late. I let the kids out for recess, if you know what I mean.  
  • We better climb up through that window up there that seems impossibly high.
  • It’s time for something other than an egg to get laid around here.
  • They found water on Mars, isn’t that cool? You know what that means? Just another bottle of four dollar imported water.
  • I never realized what a delicious creamy center I have.
  • Look, I know this is our first date, but… I love you! Be with me!
  • You’re one Tae Bo class away from an ass kicking!
  • Turn your frown upside down. And while you’re at it, flip your buttcrack sideways.
  • Kiss me, big boy, like there’s no tomorrow.
  • Out of great boredom comes great songs.
  • Have you ever been in a hotel that was this wet and hot all at the same time?
  • Lets get naked and wrestle.
  • In ten minutes, we bring out the liquor!
  • When I give the signal we’re going to yell out the worst-sounding battle cry ever. Ready?
  • It’s time for my John Wayne impression.
  • Y'know, teachers are the most misunderstood of all mammals.
  • If I were a drink I believe I would be a margarita because I am tall… and… salty… and I… always have Tequila in me.
  • My turn ons are humanity, integrity, and TV.
  • I just wanna chill, and y'know, sometimes I just wish I was a goat, y'know? How easy would life be then, y'know, you wouldn’t even have to read things or understand things. 
  • Look at the beauty of what’s going on here! The sheer beauty!
  • Hey, doesn’t that cloud look like a ducky?
  • Nice pants.
Exo Reaction To Walking In On Their S/O When They Are Watching Creepy Gaming Theories

(( I do not own any gifs unless otherwise stated ))

Requested by anon

Xiumin: What is this? uh why are they? *Shocked and scared*

Luhan: Wht are you doing? you believe those? *Laughs so hard*

Kris: Is that serious? why is it so scary *Crapped his pants oops*

Lay: Baobi why are you- oh I’m sorry for not knocking… *Scolded for not knocking*

Suho: *teases them about it*

Baekhyun: You like these? *would tease them but is too scared*

Chen: *Sits and watches claiming he won’t get scared then gets super scared*

Chanyeol: *Becomes paranoid for days after watching it*

Kyungsoo: *blanks out*

Tao: *Super scared that he is going to see a ghost or something* Baobi turn it off it’s scary!

Kai: *Contemplates life* but that was favorite game why-

Sehun: Really jagi you’d rather watch those than spend time with me? *offended*

Why people hate this episode? I think it is brilliant...

Why do I think that? Because… I didn’t have any expectations about this episode before watching it. Or for the season for that matter.

I did read metas, predictions, hopes but didn’t got into my mind “This must happen, if it won’t then this episode is bullshit and crap”

I just knew that if just one thing didn’t go as people thought they wanted them to go, they would be disappointed and say they hated it. I saw this kind of thing happen before in different fandom I was in.

Also you have to remember, we have only one thing out of the picture. A.G.R.A

We now know what A.G.R.A is, was, who Mary is/was and now we know that she’s dead.

John hates his best friend for breaking his vow - to all three of them (three Watsons) to keep them safe. Mary’s dead and John is left alone with a newborn.

Sherlock Holmes went to Ella - John’s therapist - because he feels guilty. That bullet was meant for him not her. But it was Mary’s decision to push Sherlock away.

Since he and Sherlock in the next episode are estranged, how Sherlock is going to cope with John hating him, especially with a new case and possibly being sick/drugged?

How is Sherlock supposed to save John Watson, when he himself will need saving?

Short version - I can’t wait for next week!

Ok but imagine Charlie watching horror movies.

Unlike humans he hasn’t grown up watching these and all the adults that I know say that they were scared of Doctor Who when they were children (anyone that has watched classic who will understand my incredulousness at this).

So Charlie would probably be scared to death by the shitty movies from the eighties and just hide behind Matteusz like the guy is a pillow.

He’d probably also be questioning the sanity of humans. Like, why would you watch something designed to scare the crap out of you? Especially if it’s going to destroy your sleep pattern (or lack of) because you’re too scared to turn off the light.

Then there’s also the chance that he would take the movies literally and think that if they move off of the couch a crazy axe murderer is going to jump through the window, especially since he’s wearing red today and the first people to die in these movies seem to always wear red.

So Matteusz will just be sitting there, for hours, with a lap full of Charlie, thinking about how his boyfriend is too pure/strange for this world, until Miss Quill walks in.

When she hears about these strange movies she mocks Charlie and then goes around the house yelling at the ghost about how much pain it will be in when she finds. Like, hoW DARE YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN HAUNT ME!! I WILL DESTROY YOU!!!

This is the point where Matteusz is decidedly 100000% done with their shit but is such a nice person that he goes to Charlie’s bedroom and gets him a shirt that isn’t red and then phones the school and says that Miss Quill and her nephew are sick.

It takes five hours to assure them that the horror movies aren’t real.

in your arms

A/N: Woo! I hope you like it, and I hope it’s what you imagined.

summary: You’re stuck on a different Earth, but it doesn’t turn out as bad as you thought it would.

pairing: barry allen x reader


“No!” you shout to yourself, just as you nearly face-plant in the middle of a street. As you shakily lift yourself to your feet, cursing at your now-ripped jeans, cars honk at you. Oh, crap, you think, watching the cars come toward you.

There’s wind in your hair and everything is blurry until it’s not. You blink up at a man wearing red leather, his arms wrapped around you tightly.

“Are you okay?” he asks, looking you over quickly.

“Yes,” you reply bluntly. He nods and looks over your shoulder. You realize this man has super speed and you gasp, grabbing onto his sleeve just as he flashes off. You don’t even have time to process anything before everything comes to a stop and he’s staring at you oddly.

“Um,” he starts, looking between your face and your hand. “Would you mind letting go? I’m kind of in a hurry.”

Keep reading

Don’t Let Me Go

Bucky x Gender-Neutral Reader

Warnings: N/A

Word count: 624

A/N: This is actually kinda based off a dream I had not long ago.  I woke up and wrote everything I could remember on my phone, and when I looked at it again later I had a hard time making heads or tails of it xD  And then I had my music on shuffle and this song came on and I thought it just went so well that I immediately started writing and I LOVE IT WHEN THAT HAPPENS!

Originally posted by closer-to-the-edge-of-glory


It was the little, insignificant things.  The quirks that made you fall in love with Bucky, the quirks that made him fall in love with you.  The way he bounced his leg sometimes had been endearing.  Now it annoyed the living crap out of you.  He had adored when you talked to the TV as you watched it.  Now he wished you would be quiet so he could hear.

But neither of you ever said anything.  You just let it sit and build up.  You snapped at each other when speaking, walked out of the room when the other walked in.  It wasn’t the way to live.

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Would anyone else watch the crap out of a Phineas and Ferb college Series?

Cause I would! Think about it:

-Phin politely telling the professors that their science is wrong because of this and that. (He’s too nice to yell, except at Candace during special episodes)

-Them being hit with stuff that college kids have to deal with, like I want this new video game, but that’s taking money out of my food supply and then I won’t have enough ramen to get me through

-Freaking out over finals

-Spring Break trips!

-Phineas getting WAY too excited at Izzy’s soccer games.

-More of Izzy being a total BA please and thank you.

-Ferb being a total ladies man with his whole “smart but silent type” omg

-JEALOUS PHINEAS CAUSE YOU ALL SAW HOW ATTRACTIVE ISABELLA WAS IN THE FUTURE

-All of them trying to plan to get together like old times (ya know, since they’re all going to different colleges I’m pretty sure)

-Them making new friends and telling them all about their awesome summers and the friends don’t believe them

-The gang calling all these non believers and confirming

-Going to class in their pjs because they honestly couldn’t care less

-Buford for Valentines Day putting on the Cupid’s costume “For the last time!” He says every year but everyone knows it will be back.

-Phineas being really really REALLY oblivious to the fact that the other girls adore him, not that he cares cause he’s already good with his current gf.

Feel free to add more!

Hunter X Hunter world is so wild…I mean, a guy could just go:

- Hey man, would you like to watch a perv 28 year old clown and a 12 year old boy beat the crap out of each other at Heaven’s Arena?

- Yo dude, that sounds amazing, hEll YeAH!!1

7

turn your investment portfolio into a modeling portfolio

What is this code?

So one thing I’ve always wondered about when watching the show were these weird symbols in the journal:

I mean this crap is freaking EVERYWHERE

So I thought, hey, now that the Journal is out, maybe we can finally take a stab at solving these things! But how?

It’s not morse code, the sizes and in-between spaces are all over the place and they appear both vertically and horizontally!

And then I saw THIS BULLSHIT

Z?? What? Why?

(I rotated some of these so they would take up less space)

A random 3? I don’t understand!

What

The

FUCK

I give up.

At this point I’m pretty sure this is just Alex messing with us. Tho if anyone has any ideas, please feel free to enlighten me.