ideas for a (very very sad, read ahead at your own risk) non-magical/maybe modern newt/credence AU floating around in my head:
- credence is gay. he’s had the misfortune, however, of being adopted by vicious anti-lgbt “activist” mary lou, who is an enthusiastic fan of “pray the gay away” rhetoric and beats him whenever he so much as looks at a boy.
- graves is an older man who grooms credence with faux-kind words and promises that he’ll take credence away to live with him one day – just as long as credence gives him what he wants.
- newt is still a zoologist – but he’s also a happily bisexual lgbt rights activist!
- they meet the day credence finds out that graves has been lying to him, using him, and never intended for them to have a life together at all. credence can’t take it; he snaps, storms out into the street in a flurry of uncontrollable emotion, rage and despair.
- newt spots him just as the police begin to surround him. credence is violent, lost, and standing on the edge of a bridge. nobody wants to approach him. the police are armed.
- newt puts himself in between them and credence, and promises he can talk this boy down. just let him try, he says. he’s good at calming people down (what he means is, he’s good at calming animals down, but he reckons there can’t be too much difference, right? after all, people are animals too).
- it’s a delicate process, but newt manages. he speaks to credence in kind, gentle words; he smiles at him, but always takes him seriously. slowly, carefully, he works out credence’s reasons. newt tells him that he likes boys, too, that his parents weren’t so happy about it either. but that it’s alright – and that he isn’t alone. tells him that if he’d like to just come down, perhaps they could talk some more, somewhere a little quieter, and a little more comfortable. perhaps over a cup of tea.
- credence comes down.
- newt takes him somewhere quiet. maybe a library – he doesn’t want credence to feel trapped by taking him home, but somewhere like a café would be too public.
- they talk. or rather, newt talks, a lot, and credence listens and can’t quite believe what he’s hearing.
- newt tells him about the time he first realised he was bi. about how scared he’d been. tells him how his parents had never outright said he wasn’t welcome anymore after he came out, but how he’d felt it nonetheless, and how much it had broken his heart to leave them. tells him that despite that, he doesn’t regret coming out – tells him about his activist work, about the friends he has now. but not just about that; newt tells credence about his other work, too, about the zoos he’s worked in and the creatures he’s studied and the book he’s working on that’s almost finished, he’s sure of it.
- they talk until the sun starts to set. newt mentions that it’s getting late – that’s when credence tells him that he can’t go home. not now. not ever again. newt suggests, gently, that he has a spare room at his place. but only if credence wants.
Actually an offshoot of the snakeowner!Danny au (yo au of an au, gotta go deeper). This is a what if Danny didn’t stop just at the snek tongue with the whole shapeshifting ability and developed it to the point where it became a main staple power of his. Danny has a total ball with this power and even spends a bit of time researching some mythological creatures because yoooo that’s some cool shit.
Also, in this particular au, some young ghosts don’t have a strong sense of self. It can be a bit of a problem for Danny because whilst he has no problems with pushing the envelope regarding his shapeshifting experiments, he sometimes forgets himself. That is, spend too long shapeshifting, and your original form no longer becomes your ‘default’. (Vlad by contrast does not have this problem, nor the sheer shapeshifting potential/ability that Danny has because he is ‘set in his ways’, so to speak. If Vlad were to try to shapeshift, he would have to work to maintain it because his body ‘remembers’ what he is ‘supposed’ to look like. Danny’s form on the other hand, is much more malleable because he doesn’t have the same mindframe.)
I’ve been really hesitant to post this here because tumblr can get pretty vitriolic about dieting and weight loss but fuck it, I’m proud of myself.
After recovering from my illness in early 2014 (in which I couldn’t hold down food and lost about 70lbs from pure starvation), I began to heavily overeat all the junk I possibly could in fear that it would happen again. Except I didn’t stop, because that’s not how that works, and I ended up at 213lbs. Uncomfortable all the time, out of shape, unable to wear my old clothes and unable to afford the rare and elusive Good Plus Sizes.
So I said fuck it and changed my eating habits entirely right before the holidays, which I survived without incident. I’m at 39lbs down as of today, which puts me halfway to my goal of 135-140ish, and is why I’m so excited for my upcoming costume! I’ve got more energy, am lighter on my feet, and fit a lot of my clothes again.
So here’s me in the same shirt/pose in August and a few days ago.
I won’t post about this often and have tried not to other than recipes and I know it’s not for everyone. But man I’m proud of my discipline.
okay i’m sorry but i just really really need to make a post about my dream last night because i am still laughing my ass off over it
so i was with my cousin who was 13 (even though she should be 19?) and a few of her friends, all aged 12-13. i was still 20 in this dream. anyways we were at this resort place, a really nice place that i’m assuming was supposed to be a summer camp for pre-teens (i think i was there because i was supposed to “chaperone” her)
so a lot of funny shit happened but let me tell you about the end of the dream because i cannot stop thinking about it
so at some point i went with her and a couple of her friends to this nearby shop, and we wanted to head back to the resort. so we had taken a van there, and my cousin begged me to let her drive it back to the resort. now, the resort was less than a mile and a half away, which i figured wasn’t a huge deal i guess? so i let her drive and then figured i’d switch with her at the resort and park the van
except she never switched back with me and tried to park herself. and in the process she rammed the van into 5 different cars.
so obviously she FREAKS the hell out, she’s in hysterics, she thinks she’s going to be arrested for life, and i’m panicking too because, hey, i’m the only adult here, and she’s my responsibility! and her friends are panicking too
now for some reason no security was nowhere to be found, and the whole parking lot was empty. our plans were to get back to the resort and meet with a few of her friends for lunch. so i said to her “okay here’s what we’ll do. we’ll park, go inside to the restaurant in the resort, have lunch. once we’re there, i’ll call over a waiter. he works at the resort, so he should tell us who we should contact and what we should do.”
so we go inside this restaurant, my plan doing nothing to soothe the nerves of my cousin, who is trying to not cause a scene, or her friends, who look like they might vomit. and i’m nervous too. so anyways, we find her friends, wait for a waiter to come by… and then i see something.
so the restaurant was kinda like a cracker barrel, where the restaurant sold little trinkets and souviners inside, right? and on this one wall i see this intriguing box. upon closer inspection i see it for what it is:
it’s a box of condoms, BUT on the front of the box, where it’d have a brand name, it was a bootleg Shel Silverstein-esque drawing of a super muscular Sans from Undertale, and the box said on it, “Sånis Undertaile Authentic Experience”
my cousin, she is almost crying, her friends are nervous, and i am just absolutely losing my mind over this box of condoms with a bootleg Sans from Undertale as their mascot. my cousin is asking me what will happen if people arrest her and if her life is over and i’m just like “h-hold on… for just.. a second….. p-please…” because i am about to shit my pants laughing at fucking Sånis Undertaile Authentic Experience. i’m trying to take a picture with my phone but the lighting is just atrocious and spend several minutes attempting to get the perfect picture of this piece of art, while my cousin is pondering the ethics of the criminal justice system, fucking Sånis. FUCKING, Sånis.
I was tagged by @tenthebookworm and this was honestly so hard, I don’t even… like I feel like I definitely missed someone? or multiple someones? And I love so many characters from so many different things that I can’t imagine I got this all right. ahjksdhfjksdfskd. anyway, here’s what happened when I selected characters off the top of my head.
1. Inej Ghafa (six of crows)
2. Delilah Bard (a darker shade of magic)
3. Clarke Griffin (the 100)
4. Lydia Martin (teen wolf)
5. Brienne of Tarth (asoiaf/game of thrones)
1. Bellamy Blake (the 100)
2. Jon Snow (asoiaf/game of thrones- barring the disaster that was season 7, I still have book Jon and previous seasons Jon, I haven’t given up hope yet)
3. Elias Veturius (an ember in the ashes)
4. Kaz Brekker (six of crows)
5. Cassel Sharpe (the curse workers)
um. I tag anyone who wants to do this on my dash because I’m horribly exhausted right now and am experiencing too much brain fog.
how's do you sweep wif your stuffys i sweep wif mine under my arms pecause any others way is uncomfy
I sleep on my side with my tiger stuffie, Penny, (who I made with dada) and I hug her to my chest and sleep with my arms wrapped around her (and I even hold onto her when I turn over, in the clingiest person ever when I sleep, say a prayer for @stubborndaddydragon bc I’m the wOrst)
What is the story of the time you got stuck on a ski lift?
well, it’s not really like, a story. back when i lived with my dad, until i was 10 or so, we used to go skiing every (almost every??? many???? idk, i’m bad at time intervals) winter vacation. my dad’s family unit (brother-sister-stepmom-dad) was very athletic. my brother and sister were always doing Sport Things.
i was not always doing Sport Things. i couldn’t catch a Sport Ball if you put superglue on my hands.
Exasperated Coaches & Me, A Retrospective Of Actual Events:
soccer camp, 1999: “ok team!!! time to run a lap to warm up!!” [girls takes soccer ball to middle of field. sits on it. puts chin in hands.] “mollyhall, we’re running a lap now.” [girl looks up at him, very Unimpressed By Sports.] “look, u get like, 15 minutes of running from me, tops. i can run it now or i can run it during the game but you have to choose one.”
after school basketball, 2004: [after a penalty, girl bounces basketball at referee as hard as she can, just to see if she can bounce it over his head. everyone starts yelling. girl, genuinely confused:] “why is everyone so mad????”
girls crew, 2006: [girl writes a song about how eating elk bladder would be preferably to rowing girls crew, plays it on bus on the way to regattas.]
jv track, 2006: “MOLLYHALL DON’T STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF A RACE TO TELL A GIRL ON THE OTHER TEAM THAT YOU LIKE HER SHOES.”
girls JV soccer, 2007: “can you please tell number 7 to stop cracking jokes on the field? it’s making our players laugh, and we don’t think she’s taking this game seriously.” [girl blinks slowly. she is absolutely, in no way, shape, or form, taking this game seriously.]
after school fitness, 2009: [girl grapevines for a mile]
BUT I DIGRESS.
the point is: i am not athletic. one of the ways that this manifested in skiing was that it was hard for me to ski smoothly, because my naturally pigeon-toed feet meant that i was constantly “doing the pizza” which would bring me to a stop. which, i mean, that’s fine, except it meant that my skiing process was a lot like stop-and-go traffic.
if all the drivers were 200 years old, and absolutely FURIOUS that they were sitting in traffic and not in boca playing shuffleboard with their neighbors, gladys and darryl.
“DARRYL ALWAYS CHEATS, LIL BARRY JR.”
why is my imaginary son always named lil barry??? i don’t know.
it made me very slow, which in turn made me very boring for my brother and sister to want to hang out with, unless they were tricking me into going on black diamonds just to laugh at me scooting down the whole thing on my butt, complaining loudly.
anyway, i ended up riding the ski lift alone a lot. one time–i’m going to guess that i was around 8?? but that’s honestly a shot in the dark–the ski lift got to the top of the mountain, where you’re supposed to stand up and ski away, and the safety bar wouldn’t rise. it was stuck. and i mean, i was a loud kid (<– no one is surprised to learn this), but i was also VERY SHY AND STUBBORN about making a fuss when there was a problem?
this continuing issue has led to a lot of weird moments with my landlords.
“mollyhall what do you MEAN the bathtub hasn’t been draining right for a yEAR. a WHOLE YEAR??? WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY SOMETHING.”
“well, my plan A was just to keep having to take three-minute-or-less showers for the rest of my life, and then eventually die.”
i just get so deeply annoyed that i can’t solve it on my own that i decide to live with the problem, or die on a ski lift.
so for those of you who don’t ski, the ski lift drops you off and then immediately heads back down the mountain. they don’t, at any point, stop moving. you just jump off and go on your merry way.
i could not. i was stuck in a seated prison.
“um,” i said. my brother and sister hopped off the lift in front of me. my turn was fast approaching, and the bar still wouldn’t lift. “ummmmmm.”
i shook the bar. the bar did not budge. i said “please.” the bar was like “fuck you.” i tried to sort of slip under the bar, but i was outsmarted by engineering, which had specifically designed these lifts to prevent people from slipping out under the bar and plummeting to their deaths.
as the ski lift sped past the part where you’re supposed to jump off and began turning around, i felt very sure that i was going to be trapped on that ski lift forever. people would tell the tale for years to come of Poor Brave Mollyhall, Who Died Of Old Age, Having Been Trapped On A Ski Lift For 84 Years.
then, as now, i had a flair for the dramatic.
luckily for me, at the top of every ski hill there’s a little hut with a bored employee in it getting paid to make sure that nobody atop the mountain is having any kind of emergency. he squawked like a turkey who’s just realized that it’s the day before thanksgiving, and ground the ski lift to a halt.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” he asked. “YOU HAVE TO GET OFF THE LIFT.”
i would have loved to get off the lift.
me and this bored employee both wanted, very urgently, for me to get off of the lift.
DID THE ROLLING STONES TEACH US NOTHING, BORED EMPLOYEE? YOU CAN’T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT.
i pushed at the bar. the teenager pulled at the bar. my sister and brother were already gone. people had begun to notice that the lift was stopped, and that a puffball in ski clothes was sitting alone on a lift halfway turned back on the mountain, blocked by a poor employee who looked like he was on the brink of a panic attack.
“okay, this is okay,” he said. “this is fine. we’re all going to be fine.”
he did not sound convinced.
i started to cry. “i’m going to die on this ski lift.”
“no!” he said. “no, you’re probably not!”
A WORD OF ADVICE: never introduce the concept of “probably” into someone’s confrontation of their own mortality.
i honestly don’t quite remember how it happened, but they ended up calling down the mountain to explain the situation, and had to send me down the mountain in the lift, alone, loudly wailing.
i like to imagine what skiiers below must have thought of that tiny, screaming puffball, a lone small puffball going the wrong way in a sea of slightly taller puffballs. i like to imagine them going back to their hotel rooms to tell their spouses/lovers/family, “dude, some puffball TRULY fucked up on the mountain today.”
by the time i made it down the mountain, where a kindly technician came out and helped lift the bar and set me free, my brother and sister were convinced that i had died on the way down. my sister bought me a hot chocolate. my brother fed me french fries.
a fic where derek’s tastes buds are hypersensitive to preservatives. so he loves going to BACON HILLS, a grass roots diner that cures its own bacon and makes homemade non mass produced sausages with sage and cranberries. so no weird additives. AND THEY MAKE A DAMN GOOD WAFFLE.
Stiles gets a job there as a pan scrubber or something and one day he catches Derek inhaling a plate of the finest breakfast foods Beacon Hills has to offer and he looks so happy.
DEREK HALE PROFOUNDLY HAPPY ABOUT A PLATE OF WAFFLES AND REALLY GOOD SAUSAGE not to mention that cute dishwasher that came by to refill his coffee order