LEGO BATMAN HEADCANNONS
I had to do it here we go:
- Before Dick came along, Bruce had never ate any “children” foods (hardly ate anything besides lobster thermidor tbh) like chicken nuggets, mac and cheese etc… So he finally had an excuse to try them and now it’s all he ever eats.
- Joker is roommates w/ Harley and constantly tries to set her up with some of the other bad girls in town but he always ends up ruining it by squealing too loud when spying on her and her potential date. He blames it on his car.
- Whenever Dick needs help with his homework Bruce will make him take online tests just to laugh at the dumb names the whole time
- Alfred was both the mother and father figure for Bruce when he was growing up. Once he almost got into an argument with himself out loud because of his conflicting parental instincts about taking Bruce to the park instead of making him study for a test.
- On father’s day Dick wrote a really
badheartfelt poem for Bruce and he cried for twenty minutes.
- If Dick ever almost reveals Batman’s identity to people/talks about going on missions he pauses mid-sentence and starts screaming until they leave.
- The batfam plays Wii Party (specifically Board Game Island) together on a weekly basis and it’s extremely competitive. I’m talking cheating, pillows thrown and game consoles unplugged. It usually ends in tears and physical fighting.
- Everyone in Gotham highkey ships Batman and the Joker and it makes for really awkward fights in public (it’s like a sea of fangirls every time they fight it’s crazy).
- Bruce would sacrifice himself physically/emotionally/mentally/spiritually at any given time if it would make Dick laugh.
- Speaking of which it’s a tradition for random friends/bystanders to try and make Batman laugh when he’s out doing whatever and it’s only been done twice. Dick broke him once when he interrupted one of Joker’s long monologues during a fight by chucking a traffic cone at his head and it managed to get stuck. The only other time was when Batman and Joker were fighting and Joker was raging about how much he hated him and a little kid just looks up and yells “I THINK YOU NEED SOME WATER BECAUSE YOU’RE THIRSTY AF” and Joker looked so offended and Robin had to take over for Batman because he actually couldn’t stop laughing and didn’t stop talking about it for days.