i would sleep with you

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all your questions have been answered in this video! unfortunately this video probably brings up a lot more questions than it answered

just tackled steve because he was eating peanut butter & i forgot he’s not allergic anymore & i thought he was gonna die. whoopsie.

anonymous asked:

Can birds do drugs?

If you mean “can birds knowingly go out and acquire illegal psychologically modifying chemicals for recreational use” I would say definitely not. However, birds can and have been observed getting totally sauced on various delicious fermented fruits.

Waxwings and robins will gorge on thawed berries until some of them are so inebriated that Environment Yukon has taken to keeping the worst off in tiny bird drunk tanks until they’re sober enough to leave. Inebriated zebra finches sing like they’re at terrible karaoke nightDrunk parrots periodically fill animal hospitals in AustraliaA flock of intoxicated starlings stopped traffic in Austria after running into numerous cars. THE LIST GOES ON.

As mentioned in the video, hilarious to hear about but in reality it is causing a major problem; these “drunk” birds have a hard time avoiding head-on collisions with buildings and other man-made paraphernalia. Moral of the story: don’t drink and fly, kids. Unless you’re a bat. Because it turns out you don’t need to pass a breathalyzer test to fly with sonar.

some people make me feel so worthless, it hurts sometimes, I just wish to sleep for over a week without dealing with anything.

2

infodumping about the ocean

“For all it’s faults, Earth is really beautiful,”Jasper Jordan, “See you on the other side.” 

anonymous asked:

I know you've gotten a lot of Hades/Persephone asks, but I've spent the last three days listening to Hadestown by Anais Mitchell - I have a burning desire to know how your Hades and Persephone would handle the Orpheus and Eurydice mythos?

The first time he hears of Orpheus is when Ares comes to him, in spring, when his wife his gone. Ares only comes to him when his wife is gone.

“Apollo has a son,” he says, dark eyes darting around like there’s something chasing him. There is always something chasing the god of war, and many of them now reside in Hades’s realm. No matter how many times he’s tried to reassure Ares that he’s safe here, he doesn’t believe him.

“Apollo has many sons,” he returns, dry. He reaches out and places two fingers under Ares’s chin, sees the bone-paleness of his skin against the rich red-copper of the younger god’s, and swallows. “You look tired.” Crescent purple bruises are carved deep beneath his eyes.

Ares doesn’t shrug off his touch, but neither does he lean into it. “I,” he finally meets his gaze, and Hades smiles, warm. Ares’s lips twitch up like he wants to return it, but can’t. “I haven’t been sleeping. There’s a war in the East, and they’ve been invoking me for weeks. I think I need to go there.”

He knows. There’s been hundreds of new people in his realm every day. Thanatos and Charon haven’t slept in weeks. Neither has he, for that matter.

“What will you disguise yourself as this time?” he murmurs, “Another general?”

That was the wrong thing to say. Are’s eyes go impossibly distant, and his skin gains a sickly grey hue. His hands aren’t shaking, so Hades has no reason to take them in his own. He can’t decide if he’s disappointed by that or not. “No. I – no. Just a foot soldier. Less guilt that way. Less – less. Just, less, that way.”

Less nightmares, less fear, less blood on his hands. Less of the constant, inescapable battle-fury that keeps him alive, but also keeps him from sleep, even on his best days. When Zeus declared his son the god of war, this probably wasn’t what he had in mind.

Hades hopes it isn’t, at least.

“Be careful,” he says, and Ares flinches.

He grabs Hades’s wrist before he leaves though, and squeezes it so tightly that it would snap if Hades was a mortal man.

There’s that, at least.

~

Persephone wears not the vibrant red that marks her as queen of the underworld, but the soft green that names her the daughter of spring. She sits on a smooth rock in the middle of the sea, her curly dark red hair brushing her bare shoulders. It’s the last day of summer. She goes home tomorrow.

Demeter does not strain to keep her daughter at her side anymore. Now she’s merely content to keep her away from Hades.

“Were you waiting long?” a voice like lapping waves asks in her ear, and Amphitrite sits at her back. She presses a kiss to her shoulder, and her long green hair tumbles down Persephone’s front and blends into her dress.

She tilts her head, allowing Amphitrite to trail salty kisses up her neck. “No. Have trouble sneaking away from your husband?”

She snorts. “I do not sneak.”

“You said you had news from my husband,” Persephone reminds, does not allow herself to become distracted. Not yet.

“About, not from,” she uses a single claw to cut through the back of Persephone’s dress. It falls down to her hips. “They’ve been waging war for months. A bloody horrible thing. And rumor is Ares was in Hades’s realm. People are saying that Ares sends the dead to your husband as tribute.”

People are idiots. Besides, she likes Ares. She does not mind that he visits her husband; she only wishes he would visit her as well. “Is that all?”

Amphitrite shrugs then bites at Persephone’s ear, “Won’t you come to the sea with me? My palace has many places more comfortable than this rock.”

She leans back, pulling Amphitrite down with her, and does not answer.

She is not Poseidon. She does not forget that Amphitrite possesses, but is not to be possessed, and she dares not follow this personification of the sea itself into her domain.

Amphitrite loves her. She may not give her back.

Persephone is not Helen either. She will not be the cause of any wars.

~

Thanatos, the boy who Hades still calls Icarus, sits with his head in his hands.  Hades reaches out and absently runs a hand up and down his spine, thinks not for the first time that he must have been a sight to see with his golden wings, for that glorious moment before he fell. “Persephone should be crossing the shore soon. Why don’t you go and wait for her?”

“I know what you’re doing,” he says, voice muffled, “Styx can bring her. Or she can walk herself, since there’s not a thing in this realm stupid enough to attack her.”

Hades leans down and kisses the top of his spine, “She likes it when you’re there to help her off the boat. Please?”

Icarus turns and glares at him. Hades kisses him below his left eye, lets his lips linger on the delicate skin there. “You’re cheating,” he accuses, a blush high on his cheeks, “this is cheating.”

“Stop working for a couple hours and go get my wife,” he commands softly, “The armies of traumatized dead will still be here when you return.”

Icarus listens ­– finally – and slips away to the river.

Hades looks back over the map. The problem with the dead is they never go anywhere, so his realm only gets bigger. He’s going to need get Hecate so the two of them can raise another city at this rate.

There’s a push in the air, and he startles. No one enters his realm without permission, but he recognizes the outline of the person trying to push through, and allows it. Ares tumbles from the air, and into his arms. He’s covered in blood, his long black hair is soaked through with it.

“Not yours, I assume?” he asks, gripping Ares’s forearms. He’s strung so tightly he’s nearly vibrating.

“I wish it was mine,” he says, somewhere between a scream and a sob. Hades wishes this was the first time Ares had come to him like this.

Ares locks his wrists around Hades neck and pulls him down, knocking them both to the floor in his exuberance. His mouth connects to Hades’s, slick and tasting like sulpher and metal. “I have to go back soon,” he gasps, dragging his lips along the edge of Hades’s jaw, “they’re invoking my name. Distract me until then.”

He still has hours until Persephone will return home, and besides she would not deny him this. “Okay,” he whispers, and when he rolls them over they’re no longer in his office, but his bed. Ares keens and strains his body up towards Hades, and he grabs the young god’s wrists and pins him to the bed. “Do not worry,” he says, and Ares’s whole body glistens red with blood that isn’t his own. “I’ve got you.”

Ares relaxes, just the smallest amount, under his hands.

He’ll take what he can get.

~

She can tell Ares was there before even steps foot in her palace, and knows it for sure when she enters her bedroom to find her husband naked on their bed and covered in blood.

“How is he?” she asks, and he startles, having been so deep in thought he hadn’t noticed her.

“Persephone,” he greets, his whole face going soft as he pushes himself up. He holds out a hand to her, and she doesn’t hesitate to drop her cloak and crawl over the bed to him. She hikes up her dress and straddles him, arms crisscrossing behind his neck. She kisses him slow, licks over the places where Ares had bitten his lips. “I’ve missed you.”

She rolls her hips downward, and is gratified by the way his hands flex on her thighs, “As I have missed you, husband.”

She kisses mortal blood off his skin, and tries not to worry too much about the man who left it there.

He’s survived every war since his birth, and he’ll survive this one too.

~

Aphrodite enters his realm, her hair piled atop her head and held together with copper pins fashioned in the shape of delicate flowers. “Apollo has a son,” she says, biting at her bottom lip.

He and Persephone share a glance before he says, “Apollo has many sons.” He feels as if he’s had this conversation before.

She quirks her lips in a half smile, “This one is different. He plays the lyre, he plays it better than his father even. He plays it so well that – that there are rumors that he can sooth any beast to sleep. And,” she adds, even quieter, “that Ares himself is soothed by his playing.”

“Why are you telling us this?” Persephone asks coldly. Hades places his hand on top of hers. They like Aphrodite, after all.

“Because I know Ares cares for Hades,” her eyes flicker over to him, “and I believe Hades cares for him as well. I – I could not accept his proposal. My love was not the peace he thought it would be. But I wish him well.”

“We can neither kidnap nor kill a son of Apollo,” Persephone says. Hades feels compelled to add that they shouldn’t want to either, but he can already tell this is a situation which is quickly going to spiral out of his control, if it hasn’t already.

Aphrodite raises a hand to tuck her hair behind her ear, then lowers it when she realized her hair is already up. “He loves a mortal girl, Eurydice. If she were to die, he would be beside himself in grief. Enough to take his own life, even.”

“Really,” Persephone says flatly.

Aphrodite continues, “Then he would be a subject of your realm. You could compel him to help Ares, could you not?”

“I have subjects, not slaves,” he says, “I can’t make him do anything.”

Persephone puts her hand on his arm, eyes bright. “I have a better idea.”

~

Aphrodite’s plan had merit, but this is better. Smarter. It gives Apollo less reason to be upset at them later, since his son comes to them now on his recommendation. Although he’s far too attached to all his limbs to dare cross her regardless.

Orpheus bargaining with her husband now, and she’s given Hades strict instructions, that Orpheus must agree to play in their courtyard for eternity if he fails. He won’t cross her either, even if he wants to, even if he’s not totally comfortable with this plan.

She knew when she married him that he was too soft hearted for his own good. It’s half the reason she married him in the first place.

For now she circles the girl that the half-god had been so willing to risk everything for. She’s attractive enough, but plain, and she has no particular talents nor is she overtly clever. “What makes you so special?” she asks, when she sees nothing but an average young woman.

Eurydice smiles then, and she’s much prettier that way. “He loves me,” she answers, cheeks flushing. She hesitates, but asks, “Will you really let him take him me back?”

“As long as he listens, as long as he leaves the underworld without looking back at you, you are free to follow him and return to the world of the living,” she agrees, but knows that will never come to pass.

Orpheus loves her too much to risk leaving without her, and his doubts will overcome his hope. He will look back, and become trapped here forever.

~

The window of one of the spare rooms is open, and the most beautiful playing comes through. Hades sits at the edge of the bed, and reaches to run the back of his finger across Ares’s cheek.

The war still rages. A war always rages. Yet Ares sleeps, the bruises under his eyes becoming lighter by the day.

He turns toward Hades, straining in sleep for his touch. Hades hesitates, but his realm is stable enough for now. He slips beneath the covers, and almost immediately Ares curls into his side, tangling their legs together and pillowing his head on Hades’s chest so he can feel Ares’s damp exhales on his sternum.

There will always be another war, and Ares cannot stay. But for now he sleeps peacefully in Hades arms, and that will have to be enough.

~

Persephone sits in her garden in the courtyard, listening to the same beautiful song.

“This one is my favorite,” Eurydice says, seated besides her and beaming.

She glances over to Orpheus, who grins wide as he performs a love song for his beloved wife. Behind him is the cottage tucked in the corner of their courtyard where Eurydice and Orpheus live.

“Mine too,” she says.

Hades was too soft hearted for his own good. She’d known that when she married him.


gods and monsters series, part xi

Sleep snug just like Freyja. 

DANCE MAJORS AU Part 1 (Part 1.5Part 2, Part 2.5, Part 3 finale) Hip-hop dancer Keith in a ponytail. Everyone is just so mesmerized when he dances on stage or even just during practice. Outside the dance studio, he’s a huge space nerd who’s got a secret crush on the contemporary ballet dancer next door who he may or may have not thought of asking out… next week or next month.

Redbubble Shop

belated birthday present for @molded-from-clay !!!

moldy is an incredible friend and has been hugely supportive of me ever since i first started getting more involved in the fandom, and i cannot thank her enough for all the kindness and encouragement she’s given me. 

SO THANKS FOR BEING BORN MOLDY YA BIG DORK, IM SO GLAD U EXIST!! 🎉🎂🎁

Merlin deleted scenes otherwise known as:

“Julian, it’s just too gay, we’ve got to cut it, I’m sorry.”

they’re all bi and dating and i love them?

Still friends?

… yeah.

_________

So me and @astarisms were talking about screencap redraws and because of this wonderful chat we are now on a mission