i would puke if i drank this again

dandelionandbuttercup  asked:

Ok, read that AU shite of your and LOVE IT. Now I'll drop you questions about it \( òOó)/ How does witcher job work in modern age? Do they still use swords and potions, or did they modernized with other weapons like guns?

Hue hue hue I’m happy I’ve manages to infect others with that modern!AU shite as well 8D

I think Witchers would have largely traded their swords for guns. A pretty standard set-up for monster hunting would include two sidearms (pistols, one with normal bullets and one with silver bullets), primary weapon (rifle), and a silver short sword.

Potions would very much still be a thing and one major reason for embarrassing ER trips, ”oops I drank way too much tawny owl again”. But hey, at least in modern!AU shite they’d have ER to go puke their guts out to!

I remember when I met you, I left all my bad habits for you. I quit drinking and smoking and started going to all my classes again. I left all my bad habits for you, you saved me.

I remember when you left, I tried so badly to get back into my old habits because I thought maybe you would want to save me again.
I smoked so much but it didn’t matter because my lungs gave up the day you left. I drank so much but bottle after bottle I was still so damn empty. I didn’t eat anything for days, and I know you noticed. you noticed it all because you were so good at noticing but you never came back.
and instead of falling into my old habits, I fell into worst habits.
I would drink so much that I’d be in bed sick for days, I’d spend all of sunday mornings puking my guts out.
I didn’t come to school for weeks because every time I thought of seeing you my hands started shaking.
I destroyed myself hoping you could fix me.
but you didn’t and you couldn’t..
because while i woke up sick and in strangers beds, you woke up tangled up with her.
While I was burning out my lungs, you were burning candles with her.
and while my lips were pressed up against a bottle of vodka that made my throat burn, your lips were tasting her.

but looking back at it now i realize, you could not save me, only i could save me.
you love her now, and although I wish you loved me, I am not sad anymore.
You love her and thats okay. You are allowed to move on. You should not be blamed for what I am doing to myself. You did not destroy me, I destroyed myself.

I went back to school the other day. I saw you and I lost my breath but I didn’t collapse like I would have 8 weeks ago.

—  I still love you, I just don’t want you anymore and that took a long time to admit. 
6

Transformation Tuesday ( a day late)

When I re-started my weight loss journey a few years ago (one of my many restarts), I began by working out in the spare bedroom doing old Jazzercise routines that I remembered on my own. I was 350+ pounds and too embarrassed to try and workout in public.  I told myself the reason was the long drive to the center (a drive that I had made in years past, but was now ‘too far’).

After losing about 60-70 pounds that way, I moved and was pretty close to a  Jazzercise center. I couldn’t really use the long drive as an excuse for not actually going to class any longer.  I was petrified. Even though I’d done Jazzercise before off and on for many years, I was still so out of shape and overweight. It took all my strength to muster up the courage to go that first time, but, once I got there, and everyone was welcoming and the workout was just as awesome as I’d remembered, I was so glad I did. I was back! Still obese, still a 3x, but I was out in public working out.

Then, by chance one day, my friend and the Jazzercise instructor ‘challenged’ me to go to hot yoga with her. I’d never done yoga at all, let alone hot yoga. I accepted her challenge (mostly as a joke?), but then realized she had taken me seriously. OH SHIT. I watched one yoga video and then, in desperation, I went to a beach yoga class the week before the hot yoga challenge just to get some kind of practical knowledge of it before going with my friend. Once again, I was petrified! I kept praying for rain or a flood or something good like that to cancel the class, but it didn’t happen. I again mustered up my courage and I went to beach yoga, thought I would die, but I didn’t.

The next week I thought I was gonna be sick the whole day before hot yoga. I was still sore from the beach yoga (and I might’ve still had sand in places there should not be sand!). I drank and drank and drank water that day, took magnesium and potassium tablets, and felt like my stomach was full of wasps all day.  My friend actually gave me an ‘out’ when I emailed and told her how nervous I was, but I didn’t take it. I took lots of deep breaths and mustered up that courage again, and I went. I sucked at it. I thought I would die. I felt like I might puke (but didn’t). I loved it.

After that, I started biking. Once again I had to muster up the courage cos I was sure I’d fall and look ridiculous, but I didn’t. It really is just like riding a bike! 

Lately, I’ve gone swimming at a public pool, to an aerial yoga class and a spinning class, and, you know what? I didn’t have to muster up any courage. I didn’t feel nervous. I felt excited to try something new. Next week I’m going to a kick boxing class, which I admit I’m a little intimidated by, but I don’t feel nervous about it. I’ll probably be the fattest person there (as I am in most workout places, even after losing so much weight), and I’ve never hit anything other than a pillow in my life, but I feel strong from all those times I’ve stepped past my comfort zone.

Every time you muster up your courage and get out of your comfort zone, no matter if it’s working out, or doing anything that you think is beyond your boundaries, you expand those self-imposed boundaries! They are not real boundaries! They are limits you put on yourself! Break them down! You’ll find confidence and strength that you didn’t know you had. You’ll find joy in stepping over that line and look forward to new adventures and challenges! 

I’ve come a long way from that girl working out alone in the spare bedroom, not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I’ve gained confidence and mental strength and courage. And you can too! Do the thing that scares you! JUST DO IT! It just takes a few seconds of insane courage and then you’re there! You’re doing it! And you are stronger for it! No matter what happens, just the act of trying makes you a winner! DO IT! DO THE THING THAT SCARES YOU! You will be amazed at the feeling afterwards! You will be amazed at your strength. You will gain confidence with every step. 

DO IT! If I can do it, you can too. Trust me on this!

Under the Influence

For: Alice at @afitzgeraldfic

By: Sara at @1dable or @runninghomefic

If Addi was certain of anything, it was that she has no idea what was happening with her life. 

Her flatmate was Med student who’d never learned the proper function of hamper. Her friends were more concerned with how many balls they could sink into a cup of beer than their nine am class the next morning. And Addi herself was three years into a journalism degree with no jobs in sight and tendency to make terrible decisions after a few shots of tequila.

But with only a year left of pretending to be an adult, she was determined to make the most of it. Even if it meant having to physically drag her unwilling flatmate to the first, and probably best, party of the year. 

A story about who’s making the fry up, who’s shit out of luck, and a sober curly headed boy who probably doesn’t want to deal with any of them, especially Addi. 

Word Count: 13704

Warnings: Heavy drinking and sexual references

Main Pairing: Harry/OFC 

“Niall, come on!” I huffed, crossing my arms over my chest, “You’re being ridiculous.”

My usually zealous, blond flat mate stood on the edge of the street sidewalk with his arms tight by his side and an apprehensive frown tugging at his lips.

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