Yuri On Ice - as understood solely through other people’s tumblr posts
[I have never watched Yuri On Ice, so this is just what I’ve figured out:]
Yuri is a competitive figure skater, who is, I assume, on ice. He would like to win a medal. Also he fell in love with another figure skater for being good at skating.
Hot Blond - who I will mentally refer to as Winner McWinnerson, the Moon Moon of skating, because that is the only name I have managed to pick up for him - sees Yuri inexplicably pole dancing in a garden at night and falls in love with him, a la Cinderella, but with more pole dancing.
They… meet? Further details are mysterious, but I am guessing they also skate together and I am informed they definitely kiss twice, probably, for a 30th of a second as captured by this series of still frames, appended all over tumblr.
The only other character of note is the confusingly named Yuri2 - a second, smaller, angrier Yuri. He is coached by Hot Blond and is probably only metaphorically his son. He is also probably not related to Yuri, but it’s hard to tell, and I am open to the possibility they they both just have dicks for parents.
Throughout the series the aforementioned skaters all compete a lot, except for Moon Moon, who is busy coaching and already owns all of the medals.
(More notably, a bunch of real life ice skaters became fans of the show, and tweeted the heck out of it, which was adorable and also meant several macho sports websites were blanketed with gay anime screencaps, the best of all possible outcomes.)
The series is won by Yuri2. I don’t actually know that, but I am pretty sure Yuri doesn’t win, so I am filling in the blanks with the only other character I can remember.
In the final episode, Winner McWinnerson proposes to Yuri, but also says he will only marry him after he wins a gold medal, because Winner McWinenrson dates winners, okay? They agree to compete against each other for Yuri’s hand in marriage, and I can only assume this means the second season will conclude triumphantly, with Yuri on an Olympic altar, marrying himself.
……..how’d I do?