051. “i wasn’t planning on asking you, but it appeared to me that life is short. will you marry me?”
Seokjin was an open book. Ah, wait. Let’s rephrase that. Seokjin was an open book that revealed most of everything to the world except the tiny words in between like a lawyer would warn to use a magnifying glass over to read all of the fine print. Not everyone had the privilege of owning that particular object. It took trust and comfort to achieve that and time and dedication to prove to him that yes, you like his personality more than his face. And little did you know, you had that magnifying glass from the moment you met him.
Easily, anything and everything you could want to know about Seokjin was handed over to you just like that. Sometimes it would take more than just asking. There are days where arguments let you learn something about him and yourself. There will be times where you’d have to make mistakes to find out that they can be fixed together and some… alone. In the mix of loving Seokjin there was pain, tears, agony and loneliness and sometimes altogether in one day or a month and months when he’s away.
But… there was also happiness, laughter, soft phrases whispered into your ears that kept you up at night and also the ones that repeated until you fell asleep. There are moments you can’t describe because it feels so surreal to be by his side and then there are ones that you see everyday and won’t appreciate it until that’s the only thing you see when you walk around your empty home made for two.
Anyway, none of that mattered when you’re actually with him. These thoughts never have the chance to pop up or come around when he looks at you and all you can think about are the things that revolve around him. Be it if he took out the trash or if he had enough rest before heading to work.
Tonight felt different.
It’s different because you can’t feel your heart beating when the words he’s saying only processes in your mind after echoing for a few times.
“Marry me, Y/N,”
On top of a rooftop where the skies are quiet and the streets surprisingly muted for the night. His hand in yours and you gaze down with your mouth opening and closing, unable to say anything and the only thing you can do is stare at the ring he’s holding up. When you’re able to digest everything, you look up to him with a word that makes him laugh - even if it’s the one he wasn’t expecting to hear.
He laughs, and it feels like the moon itself came down to let his eyes form the crescents that make your heart swoon. He’s prepared for this, somehow. Squeezing your hand and looking down to your hand as he strokes it gently, his words following his suit.
“I know I said that I… wasn’t ready for marriage yet. But I thought about it hard and long and when I thought about my future and who I saw myself with,” Seokjin looks up to you and that’s the same time you do too, “I saw you,” Past your erratic heartbeat, you feel the pressure Seokjin feels on your hand as he holds it tight, “Only you,”
“I… I’m a hard person to please, Kim Seokjin,”
He laughs, because it’s true.
“I can get fussy sometimes,”
“I know that too,”
“I… I’ll nag at you a lot,”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,”
“…shit, I guess I have no other choice then now, do I?”
Seokjin laughs because he knows what your answer is. And you’ve already given it the moment you started giving him reasons to back out on his proposal. He quietly reveals rings and rings that he slips one on your finger, the other on his own and the emotions hit you harder than your tears fall from your eyes.
“Y-You had it all planned - you - fucking - oh my god…”
He fills the spaces of your fingers with his own, relishing on the feeling of being able to feel your ring pressed to his skin and now you feel the same about that, too. In your mind, at least. Where your sobbing doesn’t get in the way of trying to describe how you feel.
“I love you, Y/N.”