i would like to thank not only god but also bowie

My opinion on the signs, ranked from who I get along with the best to not at all

1. Taurus - Simply the best, hands down. Head and shoulders above everyone else. Determination, extreme focus and goal attainment are all part of this sign’s personality. Once a Taurus sets his/her mind to doing something, there is nothing in the universe that can stop them. They will pursue their identified goal until it is reached – even if this comes at great personal sacrifice (health, relationships, etc). They’re determined, stable, they prefer simplicity, and they’re goal driven They have a thing for beauty. Creative and talented. They don’t complain and they’re not precious or delicate. The women generally are good with finances, independent, intelligent, and have an undeniable but reserved earthy femininity and sensuality. Definitely much more a fan of the males than the females, though. The men are my kryptonite. My thirst is real for Taurus men. The men are very protective of me and strong. Generally don’t like to start or have arguments. Equanimous. Sexy as hell. Tough, hard-hearted, extremely helpful, forgiving. Don’t take them for granted. Don’t fuck with them. EVER. Protect at all costs. Logical. Stable. Steady as a rock…there’s just something about them that makes me feel safe and secure. No bullshit with them. Taurus guys are earthy, lusty, manly, sensual, affectionate, and ooze sexuality. They’re also charming, magnetic, independent, genuine, great listeners, sexy, charismatic. Taurus men tend to be gentle and tolerant of others, with a strong sense of honour and integrity. They’re honest, communicative (but not annoyingly so), expressive both verbally and physically. The men are emotionally and mentally stable and smart. They’re possessive but not jealous. They are also rather dominant but mostly in the bedroom. Taurus men are the epitome of what I find truly sexy in a man. They’re practical and have an above average level of common sense. They’re about action, not words, and I love that about them. You could throw anything at them and they’ll handle it with strength, intellect, and class. They’re kind-hearted, generous to those they care about, and extremely focused. They love deeply and completely and are highly successful in business and financial ventures. My best friend, a couple of my very very close friends as well as my father happen to be Taureans. They really make me feel special, so seriously thanks to all the Taurus men for being who they are. Lovely, lovely guys. My favourite earth sign.

2. Aquarius - Cool, detached, aloof, and cerebral, just like me. The geniuses of the zodiac, by far. Visionaries. Impartial and original. Objective. Independent and individualistic. At peace with themselves. Weird. Frequently labeled “cold”, although I love it. Their adaptability and humanitarianism is admirable. They take all sorts of people as they are and I love this about them. Curious. Charismatic. God-complex. Unconventional. Loyal people. Open-minded. Rational. Not precious or delicate. Leaders. Some of the kindest people I know. Its not a smothering kind that freaks one out,its a pure, no silly intention type of kindness that is so soft, but still leaves a mark. And to me, they’re easy to understand - they care, but they also want their own separate lives. It’s lovely. There’s an Aqua girl I used to work with; she’s a really smart girl and everything that comes out of her mouth is interesting and hilarious. Although I liked her, it was usually from a distance because I could never tell if she really liked me as a potential friend. Yet there were times when I was the indirect target (by a Leo) in our meetings, and the Aqua always came by and subtly let me know in various ways that she cared. It was weird, but it was like she never wanted me to feel alone or bad, and I always appreciated that. It’s like we can’t say more than a few words to one another without quickly going back into our “own” space, and I’m thinking that’s maybe because we possibly felt our individuality would be threatened in some way if we got too close, and also maybe we retreated because we both were/are sensitive to the other, but we supported each other on a deeper and more emotional level. It’s hard to explain, but yeah, that’s been my experience. My older brother, whom I love more than anything, is one. More than a few of my favourite associates are Aquarians. What’s not to like? Hands down my favourite air sign.

3. Capricorn - They’re the hardest workers, they have high standards, and they’re pretty engaging; extremely intelligent and have an interesting way of drawing you in. Regal. Never loses their cool unless there’s a valid reason. Witty. I’m totally in love with their ambition. Have been labelled as “mean” or “loners”, but I have a general respect for them, even if I don’t like some of them. Quiet leaders. Untrusting like me. Also equanimous. Patient and calm. They’re bosses. Thinks in advance. Not to be fucked with. Doesn’t let get things get under their skin, very classy and tough like that. Sensible. Pragmatic and practical, but also can be a bit fanciful. The females are very feminine and have great taste in clothing. The men are in control and more often than not, CEOs. The men also make me feel so protected. Two very good friends are Caps. The Cap girls I know are really selective over their friends; they won’t talk to everyone for the sake of it…if they don’t like you or find you interesting then they probably won’t say a word to you or look at you. But they’re all funny, classy, and grounded and I love that. They possess winner’s minds; look at the late David Bowie: classic example of why Capricorns are the shit.

4. Sagittarius - You’re assholes, but you’re my kind of assholes; you’re blunt, you don’t sugar-coat the truth and you people are just brilliant. Absolutely hilarious. Funniest sign in the zodiac. Love having fun with them because their confidence is infectious and inspiring. Not gonna kiss your ass. Brutal. Insensitive. Sometimes downright inhumane. Sociable. Go-getters. They’re about their freedom and their power. It’s onward and upward with these folks and I respect that. Tends not to hold grudges (something I need to work on). They use their asshole-ism for good and for things that make sense (instead of evil and general bullshit like Scorpios do). Will speak their mind even (and especially) if it hurts your feelings. I love it. A couple of very good acquaintances are Sags. The only fire sign that I can stand.

5. Libra - Also protect at all costs. Love, love, love. Complete cinnamon rolls and are diplomatic, charming and fair. Tendency to be lookers. Great friends. Terrible flirts. Intellectual savages. Great personalities. Fun. Love getting guys with these ladies. When we choose to go out, we shut it down in a club and all eyes are on us. Also love how peaceful and easygoing they can be. Warrior’s mentality with a poet’s soul. They tend to be a doormat at times, tend to enjoy being volatile shit-starters on occasion (especially the females), and tend to be liars as well. Usually have good intentions. Indecisive, just like Pisces, but unlike Pisces, their indecisiveness is in a charming, yet slightly maddening way. More often than not, a pleasure to deal with. Another close friend and a few dear acquaintances are Libras. My kind of folks.

6. Gemini - Paraphrasing from Joni Mitchell’s song “Help Me”: “[They] love their lovin’/ But not like they love their freedom”…engaging and usually intelligent conversationalists. An ex-roommate is one. Charming, if not a bit fake, flighty, and two-faced. On the other hand, Stevie Nicks. Marilyn. Fetty Wap. I like that they keep things light and hate dealing with too much emotion, although their “lightness” tends to border on the superficial and shallow. Adventurous. Craves variety. Batshit crazy. Liars. Fucked up when drunk. The children of the zodiac, by far. I mean, bipolar creatures; their mood swings make them excellent case studies. Totally schizophrenic, they specialize in mind games and are the best players, hands down. Flaky. Thirsty as hell. Desperate for attention. These people have issues. Sociable and tend to be very popular for whatever reason. No slouches for sure, they’re definitely entertaining if nothing else.

7. Leo - They remind me of the famous line that Jareth said to Sarah in Labyrinth: “I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.” LOL. Overrated. Unconscionably selfish. Some of them are cool, but for the most part, I’m not impressed. A cousin that I used to be close with is one, we don’t really talk as much anymore, since I’ve outgrown her due, in part, to her tendency to be a bit jejune and silly as well as a drama queen. On the other hand, J. Lo. Jackie O. Kate Bush. They’re sexy, stylish and entertaining, but they’re just short-term/one-night stand material to me; they’re quite pretentious, have delusions of grandeur, and a bit sensitive for me (can’t take criticism, too dramatic, etc.) and as such, there’s nothing of real substance there with them. Tend to be liars. Animated and melodramatic (there’s a reason why most of the best actors are Leos)…they’re overgrown babies in the sense that they have a pathological need to have their asses kissed, they’re bossy, temperamental, and have a tendency to be arrogant and disrespectful (but don’t be this way to them, though, lmaooo). Very childish. Have a tendency to be something they’re not and truly believe that they’re more than what they actually are or ever will be, which is slightly amusing.

8. Scorpio - Ah, the sociopaths of the zodiac. I guess this would be my favourite water sign, if that’s possible. Not a fan of water signs in general, tbh…but out of all of them, you people are the only ones I can somewhat stand, for some strange reason. Probably because my mum is one, with whom I have a love-hate relationship (the only complicated relationship that I’m willing to have ever), as well as an ex-boyfriend. I’m a lot like them in the sense that there’s no room for ambiguity, either people hate you or they love you; regardless, you are who you are and that’s the way it is. As well as the fact that everything’s a state secret with them. However, if one wants brutal honesty, then like the good old Sags, these people are good for that, if nothing else. Opportunistic. Impossibly sexy. Bad to the bone. I’m a sucker for these men; most of the men I’ve “known”, whether we were in a relationship or not (including my current one) are Scorpios. Where we part ways: they (mainly the females, who are just unnecessary cunts, for the most part) are jealous, obsessive, love to be as negative as possible, have a crab-in-the-barrel mentality, and tend to be miserable and like making everyone else miserable as well. Tends to like having their asses kissed. Like all water signs, to me, life’s too short to really deal with them.

9. Cancer - Again, not a fan of water signs and Cancers are some of the reason why. A bit too moody, sensitive, temperamental, and clingy for my taste. Passive-aggressive. Possessive and needy. The females seem to be quite jealous of other females for some odd reason. The men tend to be kinda wishy-washy childish mama’s boys. Protective of those they love and care about, which is nice. Homebodies. Home. Like all water signs, they tend to think they’re billy badasses more than they are and their insecurity drives them to bully folks just to feel good about themselves, which is quite pathetic. These guys are crazy, but they have great music taste, good with money, and are kind of manipulative…the ones born in July tend to be temperamental as fuck. I’ve not gotten along with one ever (which is curious, since I am one), my associate’s boyfriend is one, and he’s a bitch; I have an older half-sister who’s one. To put it succinctly, we no longer speak. But, on the other hand, you guys tend to fly under the radar a bit, so I guess a scant few of them all are actually alright.

10. Virgo - Don’t really get the big deal about these people. I respect their propensity to be analytical, attention to detail and hard working natures, but other than that, you guys are completely irritating; a couple of colleagues are Virgos. They tend to be more sensitive than they like to let on (hence their moodiness), when jealous or self-conscious, they tend to act childish by getting angry and saying things they don’t mean. High maintenance. Self-serving. Also quite opportunistic. Martyr complex. Loves intellectual hair-splitting. Too much insecurity and bullshitting around with you all. Prides themselves on being harshly critical of everything and everyone, but if you tell them about their bullshit then they want to play victim and can’t handle it. People who can’t take their own medicine I don’t respect. Fussy and persnickety as hell; nitpicks everything and are often impossible to please and cowardly. They think the world should stop for them. Liars. Sneaky and shady as fuck. Doesn’t breathe unless it’s planned out thoroughly in advance. Tries too hard to be perfect and omnipotent. I’m sure OCD runs rampant in this sign as well. Control freaks, just like Scorpio. They will self-obsess over their imperfections (and are very quick to point out others’) and think they’re right all the time. Especially applies to those born in September.

11. Pisces -  Again, I truly don’t get the big deal about these people either. At all. Emotionally exhausting. Victim complex. Very artistic and musical, however. Creative. An ex-roommate and former friend are this sign. The main reason why water signs repel me. Evil as hell because they’re disasters who always project their own insecurities onto everyone. Like all water signs, they start drama and then expect you to feel sorry for them. Manipulative. They never take responsibility for their actions, and hide behind gullible people. Spineless. Feels the need to test people (like Scorpios and Aries) and be quarrelsome, then loves to turn around and play the victim (which they do exceptionally well), which is completely pathetic. Indecisive. Indirect. Adores getting offended, just like Virgos. Very passive-aggressive. Easily led. Disingenuous. Emotions/moodiness > logic. They live in a dream world, thinking everything revolves around them. They just annoy the crap out of me. Too co-dependent and (possibly due to low self-esteem) likes to suck the strength from others to validate themselves because they have none of their own. Tend to be harsh in order to overcompensate for how hypersensitive they actually are, which is exasperating. Tends to overreact and are way too emotional, reactive, and sensitive for me to deal with. February Pisceans = barely tolerable (I love you Rihanna); March Pisceans= pieces of shit.

12. Aries - Stay in your lane perhaps? Get some therapy maybe? These people see everything as a fight or an issue, and they need to chill. A boss and a couple of co-workers are this sign. Lack of foresight. Also reactive, loves confrontations just for the sake of having confrontations. Lives for being combative. Very ram-like. Fighters. Malcontents just like Scorpios and Virgos. One of the most ignorant signs.They tend to be outgoing and extroverted generally. I associate them with the colour orange or fluorescent yellow or some other grating colour. Very fast. Very bold. Courageous. Ultra-competitive. Energetic. Dynamic. Loud. Not one to mess with. Always has the need to be right. Downright rude and childish. When volatility, rage and anger is your default emotion (Leo, ARIES, SCORPIO), I dismiss it and completely have no respect for it, since that’s the way you are, so what’s to take personally, really; I have extreme distaste for grown-ass people that insist on acting their shoe size. Quit being so fucking aggressive and pushy all the time. It’s obnoxious.

EXCLUSIVE: Lana Parrilla Spills on Evil Queen's 'Challenging' Song & Connecting With 'Once Upon a Time' Fans!

From Evil Queen to dancing queen!

This Sunday’s highly anticipated musical episode of Once Upon a Time features a truly sensational solo from the famed Snow White villain, so we called up the on-screen queen herself Lana Parrilla to get the behind-the-scenes secrets on how she prepared for her “Ziggy Stardust moment” and the challenges that came with it.

“I wish that we would’ve done more than one musical episode – that’s how great it was!” Parrilla dished to ET over the phone while she was vacationing with her mother, Dolores Dee Azzara, in Spain last month.

“At first, I was nervous because I thought, ‘Oh god, I’d better figure out how to really sing.!’ I mean, the whole world is going to be watching, so I’m not going to pretend I’m a great singer,” she explained. “I’m just going to do the best that I can. I kind of channeled my nerves into excitement, so I got really excited about it and I thought, 'I’m just going to go with this and have a blast!’”

“And being that I’m the Evil Queen, you can almost, like, hide behind her a little bit. I’m like, 'Well, if she doesn’t do a good job, it’s on her, not me!’” she added with a laugh. The brunette beauty dished that it was an “interesting challenge” to sing her song, “Love Doesn’t Stand a Chance,” because Parrilla typically gives the Evil Queen a deeper voice than her own. “The song in itself was quite challenging because it had different tempos. It was fast and then it was slow and I had to sing in a lower register, which is not where I normally would sing, so it was challenging in that regard,” she said.

“But overall, it was awesome!” she gushed. “I loved every moment of it! I had a blast and I danced a lot as the queen. There’s a whole dance number that I end up doing, which was so much fun, so I really, really enjoyed that.” Parrilla revealed that the Evil Queen’s costumes are usually very confining and she has a limited range of movement, so Once Upon a Time’s head costume designer, Eduardo Castro, altered her gown for the musical so she could fully embrace the choreography.

“I kind of move my arms and throw them down. I get down on the ground and I slam down on the ground and it’s very sort of a violent song, which was fun,” she said. “I think it had a little bit of Tim Curry in Rocky Horror Picture-show-meets-David Bowie, which I’m a huge fan of, so I was really excited to have my own Ziggy Stardust moment.”

The actress said that going through all the different stages of preparing for the musical brought the Once actors even closer together. “It was a different experience than what we’re used to doing every day in the last six years on Once, and it was something new and exciting and everyone in the cast is so talented,” she said. “Everyone was so supportive of one another and everyone was smiling around the set and people were humming the tunes. I’m still humming Rebecca’s song!”

When asked what she thought about the fact that the musical episode would also be featuring Emma and Killian’s wedding, Parrilla was quick to sing its praises. “I thought it was awesome! I think everyone has been really excited for that. It’s just really beautiful to see a really happy moment because there’s typically not a lot of happiness going on in the show, even though everyone is searching for their happy ending,” she said with a chuckle.

“There’s also a musical number that takes place at the wedding, and for everyone to be a part of that, it’s really fun and everyone looked beautiful,” she continued. “Just to get kind of dressed up to go to a wedding was really fun, so I thought it was great. I thought it was super appropriate and a great opportunity to tie the two in: the wedding and the musical.”

With the fate of the series still up in the air, Parrilla is “open to seeing what happens” if ABC were to greenlight a season seven, but no matter, what she’s thankful fans have become so connected to the character of Regina over the past six years.

“I think it’s phenomenal that so many people have been inspired and their lives have changed because of Once Upon a Time, and to see how Regina has touched so many lives because of her journey and her own story and her own inner struggles, it’s remarkable. I did not expect Regina to have this impact in so many people,” she said. “I’m elated because I feel like I have a huge part in it and that’s something that I’ve always wanted to do in my career, which is to be a part of something that has changed lives and inspired people to be better and I’ve been able to do that with Regina.”

While Parrilla loves that her journey as Regina has promoted a message of “self love” and “acceptance” to all the Once Upon a Time audience, she confessed that it makes her “really sad” when she sees fans spreading negativity towards one another on social media.

“Sometimes I see a lot of negativity on social media and I don’t really understand it. I don’t support it, and I don’t necessarily engage in it, because if you start paying attention and engaging, it just gets worse,” she said. “And so I filter out – not that I physically filter it out, but I mentally filter out – and I just decide that I don’t need to read the negativity and I want other people to do the same thing,” she continued.

“I think a lot of our youth kind of focuses too much on the negative things that are being said and you have a choice. You can just look the other way and focus on the positives and only engage in the positive messages and let that be the reality and not engage in the negativity and the bullying,” she added. “But I really despise it. I don’t like seeing and I don’t think there’s any room for it. There’s enough evilness in the world and darkness in the world, let’s not be a part of it.”


Livin’ On a Prayer (Auston Matthews)

Word count: 1495

Warnings: Kind of a sex scene

Author’s note: This wasn’t requested, but I had the idea for it when Bon Jovi came on Throwback Thursday while I was driving to work last week. My first attempt at something even remotely coming close to smut. Let me know what you think!

Originally posted by matthews-nylander-marner

You absolutely adored the Matthews family. Between the constant dry heat of Scottsdale, a vastly different climate than Toronto, Auston’s sisters always finding the time to tease him and tell you embarrassing stories about him and Ema trying to include you, the hopeless cook who once managed to actually burn water, in the Matthews family tradition of cooking large meals together, Auston’s family quickly became another family to you, in addition to your actual family and the Leafs family. Even though you loved all of the Matthews, you missed your hometown. After a really nice month in Arizona at the conclusion of the season, you were more than ready to show Auston where you had grown up.

Turns out, your family loves Auston just as much as Auston’s family loves you, if not more so. They found your quiet giant of a boyfriend incredibly endearing. Even your dad, the man that was the reason that none of your friends wanted to go to your house in high school, wasn’t his intimidating self around Auston. Even though your family was more than welcoming they, much like Auston’s family, are very overbearing to two people who really just enjoy the company of each other.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Please Christmas with Shawn ?!?! Smutty if you like

Okay so I’m not sure exactly what you wanted so I kinda just made a list of things *moi* thinks would happen if you want an imagine please tell me my love I will get right on it since, ‘TIS THE SEASON. love, m

  • Christmas is a serious business to him, like the tree, the food, the people, the songs, the decorations. He goes all out. Do you mind? no it’s the most excited you’ve seen him since going to The Making of Harry Potter with him. 
  • You help him decorate the tree, and since he is a Giant he finds it funny when you struggle to reach the higher branches/ the top of the tree

“Stop laughing you oversized human and help me”

“Sorry Miss we only accept kisses as currency”

“Shawn….” *he leans down to get his kiss* 

  •  While intensely rolling your eyes you indulge your cheesy boyfriend 
  • The month leading up to the 24th, whenever he goes shopping and sees some small thing he thinks his sister might like or that reminds him of his dad, or something you had mentioned he buys it.

“Shawn! how many present did you buy???? WHEN DID YOU BUY THIS?!?!”

“Oh I saw it in Chicago when I was there… and remember how you told me about it, so I just got it for you…”

“But I told you about it in March???”

“Yeah I just remembered it…* *shrugs shoulders*

  • Since he seems like a really attentive guy his gifts are always what the person wanted, and not similar to what they wanted but Exactly. What. They. Wanted. 
  • Let’s be real even though he is into fitness and healthy workout and everything the boy still loves chocolate and sweets. 
  •  CUE MESSY BAKING WITH SHAWN, he distracts you when you are breaking the eggs. “Shawn stop tickling my neck, I’m trying to break an… see?? now there is shell in the mix…” 
  • Flour on him, flour on you, flour in your entire flat
  • Lazy movie evenings with hot chocolate and surprisingly not horrible Christmas Cookies
  • The Grinch, Christmas Carol, Home Alone you watched them all.

“Y/N we do have to sleep at some point…”

“We shall sleep in the New Year now we have important things to do.”

“Watching 10 movies in one night??”

“Not just movies Shawn, CHRISTMAS MOVIES”

  • The only music allowed to be played are Christmas songs, but not just traditional songs, also like, songs from Christmas albums written by bands or artists like David Bowie, Queen, and so on
  • Shawn trying to make sexy puns but failing or ruining the punchline 
  • “Shawn you don’t have to come up with a pick up line for me to sleep with you…”
  • Having sex while listening to “Thank God, It’s Christmas” by Queen

“I don’t even know how we ended up having sex on the floor.” 

“The wrapping paper is slightly crumpled now…”

“And what is that smell?” *you both look at each other in complete horror*


  • Lots of kisses, ice cold nose touches, and huddling for warmth

I might have gone a little overboard

Tells Your Story, Part 4/5, Lin-Manuel Miranda x Readero

Prompt: Reader is asked to be a part of the Hamilton Mixtape

Words: 1449

Author’s Note: 2 fics in 2 days? What? Anyways, might have a holiday inspired fic soon!

Warnings: None?

Askbox | Masterlist | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 5

Waking up to the smell of freshly brewed coffee reminded of you when you were a kid. Your parents were basically incapable of starting the day without a cup each, and you remember waking up to the stench and feeling sick to your stomach.

You couldn’t understand why someone would subject themselves to the torture that was drinking coffee. Then college hit, and you found yourself unable to function without it.

On a usual morning, you stumbled out of bed, eyes squinting at the unfamiliar light as you forced yourself into your kitchen to set up your coffee maker.

Today, you woke up to not only the smell of coffee, but to an entire breakfast.

You glanced over at the empty spot in bed next to you, the sheets were disheveled and Lin’s phone was still perched on your bedside table.

Right. Lin. That was a thing that happened.

You flung yourself out of bed, grabbing the first shirt your hands found from your closet and a decent pair of underwear before making the trek to your kitchen.

You stopped in your tracks at your open bedroom door. Lin was moving around the kitchen, humming to himself as he dirtied dish after dish. You allowed yourself a moment to take it all in.

Lin, in this next-morning domestic bliss, was only sporting boxers and a wife beater, his tan skin contrasting nicely with the marks on his neck.

‘Marks I made.’ You reminded yourself proudly.

Lin turned to place a pan in the sink and caught a glimpse of you admiring him from a distance. He grinned immediately as he took in your appearance.

“Morning.” He nodded to you before getting back to work. As if this was a normal thing, as if this happened everyday.

“Hi.” You responded, completely breathless.

This hadn’t happened before. You had had one night stands, you had had partners and long standing relationships, but this was new. The feeling of watching him move effortlessly around your kitchen. He knew exactly where the silverware was without being told, he wrote ‘milk’ on the grocery list that was pinned to the fridge.

You took a few cautious steps forward, testing the waters. For all you knew, you could share breakfast together and he could parade out of your apartment never to be seen again.

You truly doubted it would happen, but you had learned to keep your guard up over the years.

“I was thinking-” He flipped an egg, “-we could see Chance the Rapper tonight, he’ll be on the mixtape and you might want to get a few samples from him while he’s in town.” You allowed yourself to relax as you perched yourself on a kitchen bar stool.

He was making plans, he wanted to keep seeing you.

“You can swing that?” You asked. He turned to you with an expression that said ‘I could swing anything.’ and you were reminded of who you were dealing with here.

There was a moment of silence after you hummed an agreement, Lin felt your uncertainty of what was supposed to happen next.

“Last night…” He started, “I don’t do that. Ever.”

“Me neither.” You breathed, relieved you could work this out together, that he was just as nervous and unsure and completely enthralled as you were.

“I just know that I like you a lot, and that I don’t plan on leaving you alone anytime soon.” He checked to see if you were okay with that, “You’re stuck with me, babe.” His eyes darted nervously between the task at hand and you as you took in this sentiment.

“Okay.” You told him, pushing out of your chair to tidy up after him. If he was the hurricane that came in the destroy the place, you were certainly the calm after the storm.

You and Lin spoke every day, saw each other at least every other day, whether that was in the studio or out and about the town.

You were very much still in the pre-game part of your relationship. Neither of you were particular in labelling the other as a ‘significant other’, and you didn’t call your little outings ‘dates’. He was affectionate. So affectionate it didn’t take long for everyone to put two and two together, within a week you had texts from your publicist.

Something about the virtues of taking a vacation.

He also heavily used twitter as an outlet - his direct line to people who wanted to know what he was up to. Apparently, the only thing of interest he was ‘up to’ was you. Fans eagerly connected the dots, and it wasn’t long until media outlets and all that had an idea of what was happening.

You both heavily ignored any implications or stories about your relationship, and continued to collaborate in the mornings while he performed during the night.

“My parents want to meet you.” He said, about three months into your relationship, “I mean, they already know about you, they’ve followed your music since forever, but they want to get to know you-”


“Okay?” His eyebrow quirked up - you really did love how expressive his face is.

“Yeah. When?”

“Now.” He checked his watch for the time. Javier would be on tonight as usual, and you both were planning a simple dinner, “If I let them know now they can have dinner ready in an hour.”

Jesus Christ, when you said yes you thought you would at least have a week to prepare. Come up with some witty jokes and have a few nice stories to ease any tension.

“Sure!” You smiled through gritted teeth as he went to call his father.

They welcomed you with open arms into their home. Luis, Lin’s father, immediately beat Lin out for the most charming man you’ve ever met. He was the chef of the house, dinner was delicious and all from scratch. You didn’t have to worry about providing stories because they were happy to share their own embarrassing ones about Lin.

When he played Charlie Brown in elementary school, for instance, and the girl who was playing Sally was too late in pulling the football away. Lin ultimately kicked it into the audience, sending the vice principal to the hospital with a broken nose.

“I saw Mr. Rodriguez at the store the other day!” Luz exclaimed about Lin’s former vice principal.

“How is he?” Lin asked, poking at the last of his food.

“Good! Nose is still crooked, but he seemed to be over it.” The table laughed as Luz moved to clear the table.

You immediately followed, grabbing anything she couldn’t as she lead you to the kitchen.

“We’re glad you could make it tonight.” She started, voice low in case the men were listening in, “He seems happy.”

“He makes me very happy.” You told her honestly as she started scrubbing away at the dishes, you taking your place next to her with a dishtowel.

“He has that effect on people.” She smiled softly, and you could feel just how much this family deeply loved each other. “He does this thing-” She shook her head, laughing lightly at her son, “-he’s always working. Never thinks he’s working hard enough, in fact. Just like his father.” She teased affectionately.

“What do you do about it?”

“I work twice as hard.”

Lin gave you a little tour of his childhood home, all the way to his bedroom. His bed was tucked into the corner, an old David Bowie poster pinned on the door.

“Oh my god!” You shrieked, making your way to his bookshelf. You pulled out a recognizable CD from his collection, “My first CD.” You mused, turning it over in your hand.

It was a notorious flop. It wasn’t necessarily bad, but you were just getting your start. You had no label representing you, and no big names featured so people were uninterested in buying it. You didn’t even own a copy.

“It’s got a lot of use. I wrote ‘In the Heights’ from that album.” You inspected the back of the case, reading down the song list. Some you haven’t performed in years. “I have another one back at my place. You can keep that one, if you want.” He shrugged, fingers grazing the spines of his extensive collection of books.


“Yeah.” He glanced at you from the corner of his eye. Your genuine smile still left him as breathless as it did the first time he saw it.

“Thank you.”

“It’s nothing.” He smiled, “Love you.” He said, for the first time. You could hear his parents’ playing a record in the distance, their giggling as they sang along.

“Love you too.”

#106 - For hermosadecadencia, thesambuca, & placidus

Filling the prompts “van being in love with this girl while meeting the reader and they become friends and all but she breaks up with him and van is a fucking mess like drunk everyday and all that and the reader just stays with him and they slowly fall in love” from @hermosadecadencia and “a relationship … built on music” from @thesambuca and  "van dating a guy when you meet / before you get together ? because van mcpann is a blessing" from @placidus

With a record in each hand, a decision had to be made. Bowie. Joy Division. Technically, both could have been bought. It would just mean you’d be eating more two minute noodles that week. You quickly surveyed the room to see if there was anyone around that could help. There was a girl at the counter, but she was a) on her phone and looked busy with that, and b) was so pretty you felt nervous at the thought of even asking her opinion. There was a group of girls over in the ‘just in’ section frothing about The 1975. A guy with a mohawk that reached high into the air appeared to be also agonising over a decision; his was between Cannibal Corpse and The Doors. You hoped he picked Jim. The only other person in the store was a normal looking guy. He was flicking through the film soundtracks. 

Approaching him slowly, he turned to you. His smile was an invitation for conversation, and you held the two records up. “Please help,” you said. He laughed and took them from you.

“Well, both are staples in your collection, yeah? So you can’t go wrong. But, would 'ave Joy Division done so well if Curtis hadn’t… you know?” the guy said. 

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Someone Like Me - Peter Quill (Star Lord) : 2

a/n: Here’s part two of my series! – ps: it’s a long one ~
Reader awakens and bonds with Peter and the others. Peter and reader connect on an emotional level, bonding. Could it be a beginning of love?
tagged: @pandazombie69

Originally posted by 0awesome0mix0vol1

You stirred in your unconscious slumber as flashes of your past flooded your mind. The faces of your parents smiling at the sight of you in the cockpit of your father’s ship, pretending to be like him; making ‘pew pew’ and explosion noises. “She’s a natural.” your dad cocked a hip, placing a proud hand on both your’s and your mother’s shoulders.
With several drips of cold sweat you sprung from your unwanted slumber, confused of your new surroundings. The sound of music echoed through the ship, the melodious sounds of Moonage Daydream. It’s been years since you’ve heard music that originated from Earth, you were a die hard fan of David Bowie; so naturally the sound of his harmonious voice drew you in like a magnet. The music drew you up a ladder and onto the bridge of the ship, which there sat Quill who was the man that saved you, a gray man with red markings on his body, and a small raccoon. “Hey! You’re awake!” Peter stood quickly as he grasped onto your shoulder, lending a hand out to introduce his friends. “This is Drax…” the gray skinned alien stood and observed you. He poked your arm’s skin and his gaze met yours, “Your skin is squishy like a..worm. Pleased to meet you.” confusion grew on your face and a simple wording of the mouth, “Okay..” but with a smile you thanked him and said, “It’s a pleasure.”
 “And this fuzzy little cutie is Rocket!” the raccoon turned towards you with eyes squinted. He walked towards you, looking up into yours eyes.  “Nice to meet you, squishy!” Peter glared down at him and your eyes wondered about the ship. 

Sitting down in one of the chairs behind the cockpit, you rubbed your head as a decent sized raspberry was growing on the left side. Quill walked up to where you were sitting with a small Flora creature, he was like a small baby. “This here is Groot.” the small tree like alien waved slowly and you waved back with your pointer finger. “Nice tape mix you got playing.” Fleetwood Mac was blaring loudly, “Stevie Nicks was my girl as a kid.” you smiled slightly. “My mom made this tape for me of all of her favorite songs.” he pulled out from his cloak that was sitting on the chair across from where you were sitting. “I have volume one too!” he showed you eagerly, whipping out the small cassette tape that read, “Awesome Mix Vol. 1″. You chuckled as you remembered listening to tapes in your dad’s 1975 Ford Mustang, you could almost hear the purr of the engine. The thought of your parents brought you both happiness and sadness; Peter was someone who shared those feelings and decided it was time to talk about Earth things. The two of you spent several hours talking about old movies like E.T., The Breakfast Club, Blade Runner, and The Terminator. A lot of the science fiction movies were funny now because the two of you were living in those worlds now. “I really enjoyed The Thing, thank God I’ve yet to meet an alien like that.” Quill laughed heartily, “Honestly, I have!” it was a lot funnier to him than he realized it was. “I had the biggest crush on Kurt Russell growing up!” remembering fond Earth memories. Gamora walked in and only tipped toed back from your conversation, happy for her friend that he finally had another Terran to speak to. You couldn’t remember the last time that you had smiled this much or laughed as hard, it was all thanks to Peter for speaking to you at your working stand and to these unlikely friends of yours. The days went by, Peter grew closer to you both emotionally and physically. He would always make sure that anytime they’d have to fight trouble, that you along with the other’s were okay .. but especially you. His friends meant everything to him, they were family and now you were too. Turns out that your father taught you to defend yourself and use a weapon as the Kree man taught your father the same. So you were able to pull some of your own weight, able to practice fighting with Gamora and Drax. Rocket showed you some in’s and out’s of weapon making, that little raccoon was a dangerous one.

Several Months Later … 

The six of you formed a close knit relationship with each other. You all were The Guardians of the Galaxy and you had one job; to guard the galaxy. Sometimes however, you all didn’t do the job in the righteous way, there was a lot of short cuts. Peter promised you earlier on that you all would go to Knowhere and fetch the items that your father left for you. You remembered the coordinates like your father spoke them to you yesterday, 40.7128° N, 74.0059° W, you actually tattooed them on your wrist yourself so that you would have a constant reminder. With tracker in hand, you finally found the spot. There stood a run down shop that was tucked away from the hustle and bustle of the mining colony. It was locked but a scanner was on the outside of the building next to the front door. Drax tried beating the door down, Rocket fired at it with his big gun, and Groot tried using his tiny limbs to unlock it. Once everything failed, you raised your right hand and placed it on the scanner, a red light beamed up and down as it read your fingerprints. A flash of green light flashed several times and the sound of unlocking cylinders indicated that the door was now open. With a light push, the door creaked loudly and it was just about pitch black inside; all except for a beam of light that was lighting up a gold box in the middle of the room. The dust danced around the room in the sun light and settled nicely on the surface of the gold chest. Peter offered to enter first, his blaster at ready but you simply chuckled as you placed your hand on his strong chest. Oh gosh, you just realized how strong his chest was; this thought clouded your mind slightly as you awkwardly left your hand there, fingers dancing slightly but you didn’t say anything. Rocket cleared his throat slightly to pull you out of your moment, “I uh–no P-Peter. If the door only opens for me, shouldn’t I be the first to walk in?” you stuttered slightly Peter’s face was red from the scene from moments early and only uttered a, “Uhhyaaahhh..” Rocket simply shook his head with a cocky smile. You clenched your eyes shut as you slowly walked into the dusty room, waiting for some sort of security device to come and attack you but when nothing did, you waved for the other’s to join. Rocket dashed across the room and when nothing attacked him either, you all assumed it was clear for everyone.

You collapsed down onto your knees as you reached the chest, it was real, the thing your father promised for you laid inside the mysterious box. Lifting the latch on the chest, you raised the lid slowly and inside sat several bars of gold. There had to be at least 15 gold bars and in the middle that was between the gold bars sat a helmet. The helmet had no eye holes or any distinct facial features. It was simply just a shiny gold helmet with a smooth surface, lifting it you cleaned the mask of dust. The reflection of your face was slightly distorted in the perfectly smooth gold. Also there was a golden jumper and a black coat, the blackest black that you have ever seen. It was as if the blackened color was going to suck you in like a black hole, there were various pockets that had what seemed to be impossible space. A pair of black and gold boots were nestled down at the bottom of the chest, each equipped with rockets on the sides. Finally, there was a gauntlet that bared a bright glowing button. Your face shined with the power, it was as if the closer you were to the gauntlet, the brighter the light grew. The items drew your friends in and you all basked in the awe of the items. “Your dad is badass!” remarked Rocket as he lifted the gold helmet, checking himself out in the reflection. “Try it on!” urged Gamora. “Yes please!” remarked Drax as they were curious as to the items your father left for you. Peter’s face lit up as he finally fulfilled the promise he made to you back when you first were adopted into the Guardians. He was one to keep promises, this made butterflies flutter in his stomach as you looked towards him; with tears welling in your eyes and a smile on your face.

Pulling the golden jumper on, you pulled on the boots, cloak, gauntlet, and lastly the helmet. You placed it over your head and pressed the glowing button that now was one solid beam of gold. Pressing it, the jumper sucked in and clung tightly to your skin like a glove. The mask had an aura of golden light, even though the outside of the mask was just a smooth area with no features. Inside you could see clearly just as if there was no mask on but with each look of an individual, you could read information about their bodies. “This. Is. SWEET!” you yelled in excitement. Looking at your hands they too were glowing with the aura, out of curiosity you raised your fist and punched the concrete flooring. A shock wave erupted from your impact area and caused a large crack in the flooring. The suit gave you super strength, which a huge smile grew on your face. You could jump higher than the average human, the suit was made of an almost supernatural strength material as neither Peter’s blasters or Gamora’s sword could penetrate it. As you were checking out your suit with Peter and Gamora; Rocket and Groot were sticker shocked at the amount of gold and units that your father had left for you. The little raccoon was in heaven.

With the touch of a button on the gauntlet, the suit dissipated from your body and was absorbed in; which the gauntlet turned into a small ring on your finger. This was definitely not Earth technology which only left more questions than answers, sadly your father was not around to answer them all. “There’s no way this is Earth tech.” Peter took your hand and examined the ring, his grip was tight on your hand and his breath was tickling your skin which caused your face to flash a shade of pink. Your heart fluttered lightly in your chest, Peter was an attractive man but you felt that you should keep your attraction to yourself; you were just friends after all. Peter noticed that you were still wearing the necklace that he had given you months ago when you first met, when he saved you from the hell you had for a life. Peter smiled as he lifted it slightly from your chest, examining it closely and opened his mouth to speak; but before he could utter any words Rocket butted in. “So are we just going to stand here googly eyeing each other or are we going to make use of all this gold!” he picked up a gold bar that was half the size of him, rubbing it against his furry cheek, whispering sweet nothings. This caused the two of you to pull away from each other in the most awkward way.

You were sitting down in the living quarters of the ship alone, rubbing the gold ring on your finger as you pondered about it’s origins. A noise startled you from your thinking and discovered it was Peter who was climbing down the ladder. “Oh hey Y/N.” the Terran walked over to you, taking a seat adjacent. “Hey Quill.” your eyes met his and then back down to the ring. “I kn-” you cut Peter off before he could finish his sentence. “Thank you Peter. For everything you’ve done.” he smiled and leaned back, opening his mouth to most likely utter “It’s no problem.” but you stopped him before he could. “No it is more than just ‘no problem’ you’ve done more things for me in half of a year, than anyone has ever done in a long time.” you finally raised your head to look at him. Reaching out a hand, you touched his. “You saved me and then took me to the items my dad left me. You didn’t have to do it. You didn’t have to even help me, I was just some stranger trying to con you.” Peter’s face grew with realization because he knew that you could’ve offered him more units. You chuckled slightly, “Anyways, I just want to thank you and thank everyone else. I know I can trust you guys.” that was something that was hard for you, trust. Peter placed his other hand on top of yours and opened his mouth as if he was about to reveal something to you, again he was interrupted as Drax jumped from the upper level and landed hard on the metal flooring. “I’m sorry to have interrupted. I need to…use the bathroom.” as he slid between the two of you, breaking your hold on each other. Pulling your head back so that you wouldn’t get face full of Drax ass; Peter pulled his head back so that he wouldn’t get a face full of Drax crotch. It seemed that Peter and yourself would never be able to get time alone; with that he placed a warm hand on your shoulder, leaned down to your ear as he whispered goodnight. Leaving you with chills up and down your spine.

Summer Rain

For @forfutureglory, @elevenknope, and @stevemossington - my idiot friends who need motivation. Mostly it’s for @stevemossington because she’s the Queen of Angst and I needed to counteract that. Also she gave me this idea. Leggo! 

The day is stifling and humid, making them all feel awkward in their clothing and drown in sweat. It’s unusual for Hawkins, which normally rises to about seventy degrees in the summer, at the highest.

They’re all sprawled in various positions around Mike’s basement; Max, in a white blouse she would never wear if it weren’t for the weather, is slumped against the cool table, groaning. Lucas and Dustin are half on the couch, half on the floor, and periodically squirting one another with water bottles. Mike lays on the ground, muttering under his breath, with the refreshing air of the fan blowing over him every now and again.

“Jesus, it’s hot,” he whispers. “I mean, Jesus. It’s so damn hot.”

“We’ve heard,” Dustin snaps, glaring at him. It’s so hot he’s not even wearing a hat. “Christ, Mike, you’ve said it a thousand times!”

“But I mean…” he opens his eyes, looking a little dazed, and shakes his head in sublime wonder, “it’s so hot.

Lucas smacks the wall. “Mike!”

They’re all short-tempered with flushed cheeks, raging both internally and externally. None of them can think straight.

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 Okay, due to request. My recap of the Depeche Mode gig in Cologne.  :D

Where to begin?

This trip was so enjoyable! The journey started from my hometown in the southwest of NL, to Amsterdam, where I boarded a train (WITH FREE WIFI thank god) to Cologne. The journey was 430 Kilometers, and pretty comfortable, just avoid the train bathrooms… FFS, The portaloos at gigs and festivals over them ANYTIME.

I arrived a day in front of the gig, around the afternoon. Cologne is super busy, 
but I had some time to do some sightseeing so I learned this:

Germany… specifically Cologne and the Netherlands have one thing in common: which is the river Rijn! See the little map I map I made. The Rijn flows through several countries and it was fun to know that I was looking at the same river that I saw in Rotterdam once but now in Cologne. 
Maybe next time I can go by boat :).

I was going to meet fellow Tumblr-er, Edgebro, and person-with-great-taste-in-music  @cinnapurrevans​ in Cologne the next day!  We met through mutual friends and I was honestly a little bit nervous which I think is normal, since you never know how you will get along. But the worries where for nothing!

On showday we knew we wanted to get a decent spot since we are both super tall.  (Am I convincing you?) We appointed to meet at Rheinenergie Stadium  and line up at a reasonable time in the morning.  
We explored venue grounds , got down in line as numbers 20 and  21. 

It gave us a great spot along the catwalk. 1 row back from the rail. There where people let in early but all the people around us where amazing, friendly, in for a chat, and they obviously loved the band. 

Before showtime, everyone already started clapping along to the beats that the PA system where playing. The atmosphere started to build, which is something that hardly ever happens in Dutch or Belgian gigs. The following for Depeche Mode in Germany is amazing, bigger and more passionate. 
And you could literally feel the good vibe hanging inside the stadium.

It turned out to be a great gig.  Big up to the sound engineers for the fantastic audio mixing.  I much prefered the GLobal Spirit Tour setlist to the Delta Machine tour.   The band opened with Going Backwards, Dave sporting dark tinted aviator shades and parading around on a risen platform/ screen hybrid. 
Which inmediately made me thing of the Devotional and U2′s ZOOTV tour images. He strutted and pranced around like only a great frontman like Dave could.  His voice is so on point.. He seems to be in perfect control and works so hard. All my respect to him. 

Andy is so thin in his face these days?!  I like how he always looks around in the crowd and clearly enjoys playing.  Mart was what further away and difficult to see for me since we where at the catwalk, but I knew he later on would pay a visit to the catwalk anyway :D Which was GREAT. 

So Much Love was second and the crowd was really getting into that, singing back and forth to the band, and its great to hear Dave’s nasty sneers during that song. I love how politically charged this Depeche Mode record is, which is a first for them. Martin said he couldn’t ignore what was happening in the world and it bleeds through the whole album.

Next up, DM warhorses : Barrel Of a Gun, which I still enjoy,  A Pain That I’m Used to in the remix version they played since last tour, whit Peter Gordeno rocking the Bass guitar for a change up. An excellent live pleaser. 

Corrupt !!! That was fucking dope. In the exact version I was hoping for..
In Your Room , Dave proving his voice is still in top shape.
followed by  World in My Eyes , which is just a fun and sexy song. 

Throughout all these songs, I just have to give a shout out to the FUN they where having, both Dave and Mart where all smiles, Fletch was animated and mostly connecting with the crowd in his own Fletch way. NO BANANA’s where spotted. 
Christian Eigner is a fucking beast and I DO NOT understand how this man doesn’t die from lack of oxygen, the way he drums and the amount of times he drums high intensity songs is amazing.  Peter and him deserve so much credit and honestly I can’t write enough about them. 

Cover me is by far the best song of the new record, and confirms its strength live. Goosebumps hearing this live. Hairs being raised on the back of your neck. 

A Question of Lust and Home where the Martin solo songs of the night. during Home , Mart came around and had some fun challenging and winning over the crowd for a singalong which lasted long, the band joined in and basically its a lovely part where the band and the audience have a small jam together. Its always a fun part in their live set.  

Poison Heart, Where’s The Revolution and personal highlight form me: WRONG! This song got me into actually KNOWING DM.. and got me into pretty hard fan mode. So finally hearing that live was SO PLEASING. Oh my god I can not even describe. 

More warhorses: Stripped, Enjoy The Silence, and Never Let Me Down again,
the latter is of course the absolute winner out of these, and one of the dopest songs they ever wrote.    These songs where just a totalrave TBH .  All the people around where dancing and we where too.  :D 

The Encore consisted of Mart performing Somebody which I’m sorry , is a snoozefest for me. I like the lyrics but I can’t get into the rest of the song. 
So I used that song try and make some panorama’s. :’)  one of them turned out pretty cool .

Walking in My shoes, followed by a nice cover of David Bowie <3 Who I miss dearly. I almost cried, because I just thought of David constantly.  But fuck. that was nice. The people also organised a “sign flashmob” during this song.  Which was very nice. 

I feel you and Personal Jesus as uptempo closing songs. (AGAIN CHRISTIAN EIGNER HOW DO YOU KEEP UP DRUMMING LIKE THIS, TELL ME YOUR SECRET) Made for a predictable closer. 
Anyway.. The crowd A+ , the weather was scorching HOT,  The band was in top shape and most important it was fantastic seeing them have fun! I felt like Dave had an “easy” gig as he hardly had to make effort to get the crowd along, they just did most of the work for him which made him shine even more. He totally wen’t above and beyond and he is fitter than any other human being on this planet. He works so hard, and @cinnapurrevans has a wonderful video where it shows that so well.

The venue was okay once we where in. The staff where all fucking clueless :’). I can’t keep track of the times we where given contradicting info about anything we’d ask for. And we even ended up walking in forbidden area’s twice. 

Once more: was a blast meeting you @cinnapurrevans . And We’ll see each other next time. 

THE END and sorry for my terrible writing. But I had fun none the less. :’) HOPE THIS IS GOOD ENOUGH.  

anonymous asked:

Was Dyl ever a fan of the movie The Crow? For some reason, I see quite a few parallels between him and Eric Draven and just really picture him digging that film. Thank you so much in advance for answering! :)

Yes, I do believe Dylan dug The Crow (which came out in ‘94).   He seemed to like the flick well enough to amuse himself by referencing the movie’s characters as examples for his diversion “Adult Legal Issues” criminal offense w/ appropriate sentencing  quiz answers.

The Crow Synopsis:  A poetic guitarist Eric Draven is very much in love with his finance Shelly who is raped and beaten by city boss Top Dollar’s thugs on Halloween night of their marriage, only to die 30 hours later in a hospital. Eric is shot and pushed out a window. A year later death is no longer what it was as Eric Draven, accompanied by a Crow and gifted with new powers and a world of grief and pain, he is brought back to life by The Crow exactly one year after he and his fiancée are murdered.  The crow guides him through the land of the living, and leads him to his killers: knife thrower Tin-tin, drugetic Funboy, car buff T-Bird, and the unsophisticated Skank. One by one, Eric gives these thugs a taste of their own medicine. However their leader Top-Dollar, a world-class crime lord who will dispatch his enemies with a Japanese sword and joke about it later, will soon learn the legend of the crow and the secret to the vigilante’s invincibility.   Draven is brought back to life to avenge his love’s death. After all, love is forever. And some of us Believe in Angels.

“ I wonder how/when i got so fucked up… my mind, existence, problem - when Dylan Benet Klebold got covered up by this entity containing Dylan’s body”

I tend to think Dylan would’ve really strongly resonated with Eric Draven from The Crow.  I feel as though he fancied himself that sort of dark avenger righting what he felt was made wrong in his existence.  All he believed he wanted in the world was to find his love and to feel loved and understood but in return he felt cheated, as if such simple pleasures of this life were stolen from him. He was cheated and robbed of fulfillment. And in his sense of damned loneliness and eternal pain and sadness, he believed it only fair and righteous to retaliate, to have revenge on the humanity, this world, that has robbed him of love, peace, happiness and contentment. Eric Draven kills those he feels is deserving of it, deserving of his personal sense of justice.  In Dylan’s “Man in Black” essay, he no doubt relished channeling the darkly gothic, ‘complacent’ Eric Draven archetype who strides purposedly towards his victims with deadly intent and exacts his revenge on the preps with silent, swift accuracy like that of a Ninja concealed in the cloak of night, as if to take out what he considers to be the worthless scum-of-the-earth trash for the betterment of the world.  For it’s no more or less than he feels they deserve. In this way he is being compassionate to right the wrong. The merciful avenger who is but an equalizer distributing the burden of pain he carries onto those who had caused him suffering. His torment and pain will be theirs. They too will now experience all of this by his hand as he leaves them to die bleeding in his wake.  His lack of mercy and pity in his act of revenge against his deserving victims is pity considering what they are, what they done to him, - what they’ve come to symbolize for him.  The bullies that stole from him and plundered his heart and soul.  The irony of The Crow is that the anti-hero, Eric Draven murders for having lost his love and symbolically losing his ability to love since it was stolen from his heart. He destroys for having been destroyed by others literally and metaphorically, and transforms by rising up from the dead as a dark phoenix-from-the ashes avenger. 

“….as the man dressed in black walked down the empty streets…. What was most recognized about the man was the sound of his footsteps. Behind the conversations & noises of the town, not a sound was to be heard from him, except the dark, monotonous footsteps, combined with the jingling of his belt chains striking not only the two visible guns in their holsters, but the large bowie knife, slung in anticipation of use. The wide-brimmed hat cast a pitch-black shadow of his already dimly lit face. He wore black gloves, with a type of metal spiked-band across the knuckles. A black overcoat covered most of his body, small lines of metal & half-inch spikes layering upper portions of the shoulders, arms, and back. His boots were newly polished, and didn’t look like they had been used much. His face was entirely in shadow, yet even though I was unable to see his expressions, I could feel his anger, cutting thru the air like a razor.

”It was faint at first, but grew in intensity and power as I heard the man laugh.  This laugh would have made Satan cringe in Hell.   For almost half a minute this laugh, spawned from the most powerful place conceivable, filled the air, and thru the entire town, the entire world.“  

”…I was still as he came my way again. He stopped, and gave me a look I will never forget.  If I could face an emotion of god, it would have looked like the man.  I not only saw in his face, but also eminating from him power, complacence,closure, and godliness.  The man smiled, and in that instant, thru no endeavor of my own, I understood his actions.“  

– Dylan Klebold, The Man in Black Essay  [Full story]

I have something to give you. I don’t want it anymore. Thirty hours of pain all at once, all for you.

He was already dead. He died a year ago the moment he touched her. They’re all dead. They just don’t know it yet. – Eric Draven, The Crow

Plus there’s the simple fact that they both have a black trench, necklace and a the very same hair style. ;) (Eric Draven wears the wedding band around his neck as a symbolic reminder of his love lost.)

Madonna’s Full “Billboard Women In Music 2016″ Speech

I stand before you as a doormat.  Oh, I mean a female entertainer. Thank you for acknowledging my ability to continue my career for 34 years in the face of blatant misogyny, sexism, constant bullying, and relentless abuse.  When I started, there was no internet, so people had to say it to my face. There were very few people I had to ‘clap back’ at because life was simpler then. People were just dying of AIDS everywhere, Manhattan was under the siege of a plague, and it wasn’t safe to be gay.  It wasn’t cool to be associated with the gay community.  When I first moved to New York, I was a teenager, it was 1979, and New York was a very scary place.  In the first year, I was held up at gunpoint, raped on a rooftop with a knife digging into my throat, and I had my apartment broken into and robbed so many times I just stopped locking the door. In the years to follow, I lost almost every friend I had to AIDS, or drugs, or gunshot. As you can imagine, all these unexpected events not only helped me become the daring woman who stands before you, but it also reminded me that I am vulnerable, and in life there is no real safety except self-belief. And an understanding that I am not the owner of my talents. I’m not the owner of anything. Everything I have is a gift from God. And even the shitty, fucked up things that happened to me, that still happen to me, are also gifts to teach me lessons and make me stronger no matter how much I cry about it when I’m alone.  No matter how much I rant about the unfairness of it all to any friend who will listen. I’m not here so much because I care about awards. I’m here because I want to say 'thank you.’ I’m receiving an award for being 'Woman of the Year,’ so I ask myself 'What can I say about being a woman in the music business?  What can I say about being a woman?’ When I first started writing songs, I didn’t think in a gender specific way. I didn’t think about feminism. I just wanted to be an artist. I was, of course, inspired by Debbie Harry, and Chrissie Hynde, and Aretha Franklin.  But my real muse was David Bowie.  He embodied male and female spirit, and that suited me just fine.  He made me think there were no rules.  But I was wrong.  There are no rules… if you’re a boy.  If you’re a girl, you have to play the game.  What is that game? You are allowed to be pretty, and cute, and sexy.  But don’t act too smart.  Don’t have an opinion. Don’t have an opinion that is out of line with the status quo, at least.  You are allowed to be objectified by men, and dress like a slut.  But don’t own your sluttiness. And do not, I repeat, do not share your own sexual fantasies with the world. Be what men want you to be.  But more importantly, be what women feel comfortable with you being around other men. And finally, do not age.  Because to age is a sin. You will be criticized.  You will be vilified.  And you will definitely not be played on the radio.  

When I first became famous, there were nude photos of me in Playboy and Penthouse magazine.  Photos that were taken from art schools that I posed for back in the day to make money.  They weren’t very sexy.  In fact I looked quite bored. (I was.)  But I was expected to feel ashamed when these photos came out.  And I was not, and this puzzled people. Eventually, I was left alone because I married Sean Penn.  And not only would he bust a cap in your ass, but I was taken off the market. So for awhile, I was not considered a threat.  Years later, divorced and single (Sorry Sean), I made my 'Erotica’ album, and my 'Sex’ book was released. I remember being the headline of every newspaper and magazine. And everything I read about myself was damning. I was called a 'whore’ and a 'witch.’ One headline compared me to Satan.  I said, 'Wait a minute? Isn’t Prince running around with fishnets and high heels and lipstick with his butt hanging out?’ Yes, he was. But, he was a man.  This was the first time I truly understood that women really did not have the same freedom as men.  I remember walking down the street in New York with Alek Keshishian, the director of 'Truth or Dare,’ on a freezing cold night. And I said to him, 'I feel like the most hated person on the planet.’
I remember feeling paralyzed. It took me awhile to pull myself together and get on with my creative life. To get on with my life. I took comfort in the poetry of Maya Angelou, and the writings of James Baldwin, and in the music of Nina Simone. I remember wishing that I had a female peer that I could look to for support.
Camille Paglia, the famous feminist writer, said that I set women back by objectifying myself sexually. 'Oh,“ I thought, 'So if you’re a feminist, you don’t have sexuality, you deny it.’ So, I said, 'Fuck it. I’m a different kind of feminist. I’m a bad feminist.’
A few years later, my daughter was born.  And this new life gave birth to my album 'Ray of Light,’ and an interest in universal laws, the concept of cause and effect, and the desire to have a spiritual life. I realized that I could not be a victim any longer. That everything happened for a reason. And my job was to learn from every shit storm I wandered into and to persevere. In 1984 (I know, I’m jumping backwards), I made my first big TV appearance on 'The Dick Clark Show,’ and I sang my song 'Holiday.’ At the end of the show, Dick shoved a microphone in my face and he asked me if I had any plans for the future and I said, 'Yeah! I wanna rule the world!’ I watch that footage, I look back at that moment, and I am stunned by my audacity. I had not planned to say that, it just fell out of my mouth, like most things.  However, my ego understood years later, that if you ask the universe for a lot, you’re gonna get a lot. It just won’t always be pleasant. So, once you embrace and accept this universal law, you just might survive not only the entertainment business, not only the music business, but you just might survive this crazy thing called life.
I said this last week in Miami at my fundraiser and I’ll say it again. People say that I’m so controversial, but I think the most controversial thing I have ever done is to stick around. Michael is gone. Tupac is gone. Prince is gone. Whitney is gone. Amy Winehouse is gone. David Bowie is gone. But, I’m still standing.
I’m one of the lucky ones and every day I count my blessings. There are so many other chapters I’d like to share with you, but they said I only had a few minutes and I’m pretty sure I went over that.  What I’d like to share with you as an artist is this: We live in a world now where we get information fast. But we don’t get knowledge. Knowledge needs to be earned.  There are no easy rides. Society perpetuates the idea of no process. Technology means we get what we want faster and easier. But are we happier? Are we more successful? Does it mean that we have achieved more? I think you know the answer to that. Put your focus on what you have to say to the world, not what the world has to say about you.  What I would like to say to all the women here today is this: Women have been so oppressed for so long they believe what men have to say about them. And they believe they have to back a man to get the job done. And there are some very good men worth backing, but not because they’re men, because they’re worthy. As women, we have to start appreciating our own worth, and each other’s worth. Seek out strong women to befriend, to align yourself with, to learn from, to be inspired by, to collaborate with, to support, to be enlightened by.  True solidarity amongst women is a power all in its own, and no opposing force stands a chance in the face of this solidarity. But women need to feel secure enough to trust themselves, to believe in themselves, and when we do, we will be unstoppable. As I said before, it’s not so much about receiving this award as it is having this opportunity to stand before you and really say 'thank you’ as a woman, as an artist, as a human. Not only to the people who have loved and supported me along the way, so many of you are sitting in front me right now, you have no idea how much your support means. But to the doubters, the naysayers, to everyone who gave me hell and said I could not, that I would not, that I must not, your resistance made me stronger, made me push harder, made me the fighter that I am today. Made me the woman that I am today. So, thank you.

anonymous asked:

Since you seem to be lacking on fluff...Les Amis movie night? Like, it's at Joly, Bousset, and Chetta's, and everyone is invited, including, Gavroche and maybe JVJ because he's basically everyone's dad

Thank you, kind anon

I’m honestly so glad you included Valjean, that’s so cute.  He’s slightly bemused as to why he’s been invited to this kid’s thing (well, not really kids, but anyone your child’s age is perpetually stuck at kid status) but he goes along because Cosette insists that he was invited, that all of her friends adore him and would love for him to come spend the evening with them.  So, he finds himself on the couch, with Cosette curled up on one side under his arm, and all these other people scattered around him and, yes, okay, he’s very glad he came – they’re sweet kids.  (And let’s be honest, enough of them have complicated relationships with their families that Jean Valjean, the Universal Dad, is probably just what the doctor ordered).

(Okay getting really off track but I’m laughing at the idea of Joly listening to someone’s troubles, nodding seriously, and then scrawling a Messy and Totally Official Doctor’s Note that just reads: “one hour session chilling with Cosette’s dad”.  It’s a good prescription, it definitely works.)

It would take place at the trio’s apartment for three important reasons: a) they have the largest apartment since it needs to fit all three of them on the daily, b) they also have one of the generally cleanest apartments (because they’re grown ass adults that don’t treat their house like a five year old’s bedroom, guys), and c) they have mastered the pillow nest.  Mastered it.  They keep an excess of fuzzy blankets around the house either way because Joly is perpetually cold and always needs to be bundled up in something so they have plenty of supplies and the will to make their room a soft, comfy cocoon.  So even though they can only fit three or four four people on the couch (definitely only three if Jean “the tree trunk” Valjean is one of them, and a very cozy three at that) no one is ever forced into uncomfortable positions to watch the movie.

Choosing the movie though… that’s where things get tricky.  They have easily over a dozen people crammed into this living room, all staring at the TV and prepare to debate the fuck out of what they should watch. Something real and educational?  A documentary?  Combeferre could definitely point you towards some fantastic ones, and if it’s about biology or possibly another strain of science Joly is definitely interested, and if it’s about political or social happenings then Enjolras and Feuilly (and Courfeyrac could be persuaded) are all keen on it.  But god knows a fuss would be raised by the rest because, no, it is a movie night, if I wanted this I’d attend my fucking lectures.  Move over, you’ve lost your movie choosing privileges.

So then Bahorel would elbow his way into the fray, and he’d bring out all the really spectacularly awful action movies.  We’re talking like 80’s kung fu and masterpieces like Sharknado. He definitely gets support for it too – Grantaire is so here for this, and Feuilly, Bossuet, and Jehan are all excited enough for the best that shitty movies have to offfer.

Gavroche moans though – why intentionally watch shit when we can just put on a decent, real movie?? With real action.  And CGI.  And no puppets. (Grantaire looks personally offended and hugs Labyrinth to his chest – David Bowie and his goblin army is a gift to this world)  He doesn’t care that they’re “classics”, that’s just code for shit.

So Bahorel’s suggestions are pushed aside and then romcoms are brought up.  They’re also fun but they’re a little more chill for so late at night, and you don’t need to worry about excessive explosions. Something sweet and cute with a happily ever after.  (You know that this is what Marius wants.  He wants cute kisses at the end and for the most stressful part of the movie to be the second hand embarrassment.  He’d go so red throughout the entire movie, it’s be worth it just to watch Marius watch the movie.)  There’s some very aggressive arguing back and forth about this one – it’s a divided opinion, but it’s eventually put aside because Gavroche moans even more loudly about this than the bad action movies.

So how about indie films?  Foreign language films?  Nope, too many of the group refuse to have to read this late at night, especially after the number of beers certain members of the party have partaken in. As for artistically black and white ones and strange close ups and meaning, well, only if you’re totally okay with Grantaire, Joly, and Bossuet mocking it ruthlessly from start to finish.

Let’s be honest, in the end they probably put in a Disney movie.

So you just have this big bundle of Amis, all in their pajamas (because there’s no way Joly would allow you to enter his house without fun jam-jams on) under mounds of fuzz and flannels and fluff, with mountains of pillows, all curled up on top of each other, falling asleep on each other’s shoulders and bellies.  Occasionally singing along to the songs.  No one’s awake when the ending credits are rolling except Valjean, who carefully extracts himself from the pile of sleeping students, turns the movie and the TV off, and then settles back down again – he’ll make them all pancakes in the morning.

CBBUK - (12-1-2016)

Just because I have a lot to say about this episode, let’s get started:

- With the recent passing of Angie Bowie’s ex-husband (David Bowie), we totally saw a complete different side of her. She carries herself with a higher standard and a strong exterior but this clearly got through to her….

- Angie said she didn’t want anybody to know…. why’d she tell Tiffany? Lord, of all people you were going to tell you told her and it’s not like you just told her, you didn’t explain properly (which she was clearly under stress so it happens) so that was a reaction that I think was very anticipated then.

- Tiffany though, to be fair, was told not too tell anybody of what happened. But if someone had told me that my roommate who I just seen the night before had passed away I would of reacted the same way. And I don’t see why the roommates were making a big ordeal about it because even when Tiffany said David, they all immediately thought the same thing and charged for the bedroom.

-  Angie going to the Diary Room I was alright with, Angie coming out of the Diary room and acting as if ISIS had just fully invaded the house, is beyond me. She literally was cowering and she tried to put the blame on the “screaming” but if screaming was actually the problem I don’t think Angie would of be screaming like she was about Cheban.

- When I heard the house guests saying they were all going to leave if Tiffany didn’t, I had a problem with that reaction. It was uncalled for and totally not in their control for them to be making such comments. They thought that if they indirectly threatened Big Brother with saying that, that she’d be booted, and I’m so happy Tiffany stood her ground and even said to them if they wanted her out they’d have to evict her.

- Cheban leaving to me was perfect, I didn’t like him in the first place and now I don’t have to worry about seeing his smug ass on my show anymore. I however, am glad that he didn’t go out like an absolute ass and trying to make it all about him. He said he was going to leave, he left. He didn’t drag it out  like some of these other ones, he just got his shit and left.

- Nancy talking to Tiffany like a human being, thank god. She let her speak, she tried to understand her and the situation that happened. She understood it was a mistake and took it as that. Christopher I also got a immense amount of respect for now as he also took the time to speak to her and tried to help make all right.

- With that being said: Johnny or whatever the one loser was who made the comment about Tiffany only coming in to eat chicken. I’m sick, and I’m disgusted with how quickly people will go from a victim of a situation to the leader of a rebellion. It shows that they were never really bothered to begin with but as long as the attention was placed on them. Also speaking of the twat, I also thought it was comical how about 11 others all had to gang up on 1 person for something that was a misunderstanding.

- Gemma (god love her) talking to New York made me love her even more because she said what needed to be said, how it should of been said. She told her what happened was wrong, she told her people didn’t respect her after that but she told her what had to be done to gain back the respect of those who she lived with. She even went with her to make sure Tiffany was doing what needed to be done and she was proud that she even attempted to mend things.

- Tiffany apologized to Angie which if you truly know Tiffany, she wouldn’t do that in any other situation. She’s been isolated before on Flavor of Love before, she doesn’t care if people don’t like her. But in this situation she seen what she had done wrong, and while someone else may have told her to apologize, she did. And she went in that house with her head held high and was willing to apologize even if the house didn’t want to hear it. 

Fic rec of the week (September 1st 2015)

Hello Hello ! I’m back from 3 weeks of holidays with a ton of fics to rec. So this is the first batch, and you can already wait for the second in few days.

And I don’t know why, but I read only Larry during this holidays, so yeah, sorry. I’ll try to mix up with more Ziam/Tomlinshaw/Lilo next time. 

And because it was holidays and I had plenty of time, this is only long fics (with 2-3 exceptions under 30k maybe?).

- Amazing Sin , by thecheshirepussycat : (…) Or, the story of Louis ‘Steal Your Man’ Tomlinson.

Larry famous!AU (50k) with a side Lilo and Haylor. I don’t know why I started this one because HAYLOR (god, it gets me on my nerves to say it). But ok, let’s do it because the plot is awesome : Louis is a famous singer and the son of David Bowie and , and wants a revenge on Taylor Swift. He wants to steal her boyfriend, Harry Styles, new singer and son of Mike Jagger. And of course he lost himself in this shit. Soooooo, the smut is REALLY great. Lilo smut is rough, fair warning. And don’t read this one if you’re a big fan of Taylor. Because.

- Nocturne in silver and blue, by dystopianau : (…) [louis is a fallen star and harry brings him home. told over the course of fourteen years.]

Long (97k) Larry AU starting with a magic kid Harry meeting a star fall from the sky Louis. 10 years of relationship, very nice written, a bit angsty , smut is great. I was a bit sceptical at first with the magic AU but well, it’s not prominent and finally it fits so well with the characters…. This is really a great great fic. Maybe in my Top 10 ever.

- Long hairs don’t care, by ballsdeepinjesus: (…) [harry is sheltered and louis is a thief. or, a tangled au.]

Larry Tingled AU (20k) , it’s funny, really. The smut is great if you love bottom Harry (hello louis2k15) and first time :) nothing new if you know the story!

- Sail across me, by canonlarry : Harry is a prince that is about to be forced into marriage against his will and running away to sea seems like a much better option. Louis is the captain of the infamous pirate ship The Rogue and he has a thing for helping defenseless creatures. Especially when they’re as pretty as this one.

Larry Prince-Pirates AU (24k)  My first pirate fic!! Now I have to find some others… Smut is great (hello bottom Harry, hello louis2k15) , story too. 

- Dream awake, by anonymous: On a hazy day in August, Louis sees Harry perform at a music festival as an unsigned act and convinces him to spend the rest of the weekend in his company. Harry gets signed; life changes. They never really wake up from the dream.

Nice, very nice fic! Larry AU (30k) where h&l met at the Leeds festival (Harry sings, Louis is mesmerizing) . We follow the couple through their first meet and weekend , and some years later from the Harry pov, a bit angsty. Featuring Niall as a rock star. Smut is great too (first time for Harry!!) !

- (take you back where you belong) This could be our favorite song, by tomlinsuhhn  : When recently divorced, thirty-five year-old, overworked tax accountant Louis Tomlinson gets sent on a two-week vacation to Aruba by his best friend, he automatically assumes it’s going to be two weeks of panicking about all of the work he’s missing and staying holed up in his room. But then, right on his first night in Aruba, he meets Harry Styles, the cheeky, crass, and charming waiter and up-and-coming musician. Who happens to only be eighteen years old. (…)

Larry AU (71k) with a divorced Louis and a younger Harry during vacations. Yeah it’s hot. Go read it for the smut. And the angsty 20 last pages. Fair warning if you’re not comfortable with age difference

- Against His Better Judgement  , by lululawrence: It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. Or a husband. Whatever.The modern Pride and Prejudice AU starring Louis as Elizabeth Bennett, Harry as Mr Darcy, Zayn as Jane/Charlotte, Liam as Mr Bingley, Gemma as Georgiana, and Niall as…..well…Niall.

OMG. This is the Pride and Prejudice Larry-Ziam AU (34k) I’ve been waiting for !!!  It’s so good, god, I already know I’m gonna read this one again and again. Oh, and Smut too, go go go read it!!

- Rather Be A Hopeless Lover Than Cursed With Disbelief    , by  ambiglouis : Or the one where Harry tries to get his life back together after Louis breaks up with him.

Larry AU (66k). Oh well, this one is painful. Like it hurts very much thank you. I already read it long time but here was I, during vacations, sobbing again on this fic. This AMAZING fic. (smut is great too but that’s not why I recommend it). Quote I love : “He ends up making two cups of tea. Again. Fuck.” (because this is sooooo real and these words fuck me up every time).

- Crazy, stupid, you and me , by   wildestdreams : Louis isn’t allowed to date until he’s 18, but then he meets Harry.

Larry High school AU (37k) . I’m such a hoe for bad boy!Harry ravishing a young and virgin Louis.

- Newsroom blues, by embro : Louis is a news anchor. He’s also Harry’s idol.
Which means too much blushing and awkwardness and mix-ups when Harry gets the job as his co-anchor.

Larry AU (14k ) : well, this on is funny, smutty, fluffy. In a word : GREAT. (bottom Harry, hello again louis2k15​ )

- You’re an asshole (but I love you) , by theboyfriendstagram : College AU where Harry studies law and psychology. Louis is a philophobic frat boy who’s majoring in acting, plays footie and needs tutoring in psychology. Of course they hate each other but that doesn’t stop them from having a ridiculous amount of sexual tension.

Larry Uni AU (85k), because sometimes all you need is a Louis frat boy and sexual tension. And when it’s well written, why would you ask for more?

Previously in “ fic rec of the week” : August 5th, July 30th, July 27th, July 20th, July 16th, July 12th , July 8th, July 5th , July 1st , June 24th, June 18th, June 14th, June 8th, June 1st .

June 13th, 2014 - Tinder

ARTIST: theawesomehero

AUTHOR: justa-fangirl

June 13th, 2014 - Tinder

Arthur only downloaded the Tinder dating app because his flatmate, Francis, was addicted to it. It wasn’t because Arthur was curious, he simply had to try it out for himself just so he could understand what Francis was always talking about.

The concept was simple enough. You specified the age range and gender you were interested in, and Tinder would find matches for you based on the distance within which you wanted to search. Once it had found some appropriate people, the app would show you someone’s profile: a few pictures and a short description, and any mutual interests and friends you shared on Facebook. If you weren’t interested, you swiped their picture to the left and the profile would disappear forever. If you liked them, swipe them to the right. Eventually they’d see your profile in their collection of matches. If they happened to swipe your picture to the right as well, it would announce that you were a match, and a conversation would be opened. Since a mutual attraction had already been established, there was no need to wonder if the other person liked you back. You could have a chat on the app and then decide if you wanted to organise a date in person.

Of course, Arthur didn’t intend to use the app to meet anyone, he just wanted to have a look. To test the app, he decided to look for men between the ages of 18 and 28, within 50 miles of his flat in London.

And Tinder delivered.

Arthur was actually stunned at the results. The men on Tinder were bloody gorgeous! Thank God for living in London! In such a big, bustling city he had a very nice collection of profile pictures to look through: showing handsome, well-travelled, accomplished young men from all over the world who were living in his area and looking to meet someone. It was such an incredible collection of handsome single men that Arthur couldn’t quite bring himself to uninstall the programme once he’d finished figuring it out. It seemed a shame to waste such a treasure trove of opportunity.

Not that he planned to use it to meet anyone.

First off, although Tinder had become a viable dating app recently, it seemed to have started its life as a way to find quick hook ups. And although many men’s profiles claimed they were “looking for love,” Arthur didn’t feel comfortable pursuing a relationship through Tinder. What if he went out to meet someone and they expected more than he was willing to offer on a first date?

But more importantly…these men were just too handsome. They would never go for someone like Arthur, and he didn’t want to show any interest when he would get none in return. He could swipe a thousand of these men to the right, and get no matches in return. It would be humiliating and soul crushing, and he didn’t want to put himself through it.

So Arthur spent a few days scrolling the profiles Tinder provided for him. He was shown some of the most attractive men he’d ever seen, and yet he swiped them all to the left, to save his own pride. They wouldn’t have been interested in him anyway.

But then one day Tinder showed him a new face, and Arthur just couldn’t bring himself to send it away into the ether. The person’s name was Alfred, he and Arthur both liked David Bowie, and his profile showed him and Mickey Mouse outside Disneyland California. And that was all Arthur knew about him.

Also, he was the most beautiful man Arthur had ever seen.

It wasn’t simply that he was handsome (though he was plenty of that) – there was just something about the blonde hair, blue eyes, and bright genuine smile that made Arthur desperate. He ached to know this man.

But he still didn’t dare swipe him to the right. If he did, and when he got nothing in return…Arthur was sure he would break. He felt like he needed to have this man in his life somehow (as ridiculous and creepy as it sounded) and when the man didn’t feel the same way, Arthur would be left empty and incomplete.

Arthur left the Tinder app untouched for seven days. He couldn’t move on to the next profile until he had decided to swipe Alfred left or right, and he didn’t dare do either.

But then one night he was gazing longingly at Alfred’s face on his phone screen (as he had been wont to do during the past week) when the device was suddenly whisked out of his hand.

“Honhonhonhon! Arthur, I didn’t know you had Tinder!” Francis smirked at him, victoriously. Arthur could only sit there frozen in shock, his face turning slowly purple. “Looking for a quick hook up? You dirty boy!”

“You had Tinder first! You’re the dirty one!” Arthur countered quickly.

“I know, I never denied that. But you on the other hand, always pretending to be a gentleman…Anyway, who is this ‘Alfred?’” Arthur jumped in his seat, and Francis’s eyes flashed mischievously at the reaction. Oh, he could have some fun with this.

“Let’s see,” the Frenchman drawled slowly, tilting his head as if to examine Alfred’s photo critically. “Do we swipe him left or right? If you have to sit there and think about it there’s obviously no real attraction. I’ll swipe him left for you.” He hovered a finger over the screen, and even though Arthur knew this was just a ruse to rile him up, he couldn’t help but react.

“Don’t you dare! Give it here!”

He grabbed his phone from Francis and swiped Alfred purposefully to the right. He looked up instantly to rant at his flatmate about touching other people’s property, but Francis was pointing at his phone with a wide grin on his face.

“You have an instant match, Arthur.”

Arthur’s mouth hung open for a second, confused. Then he glanced down at his phone to see something he’d never seen before.

He had a match on Tinder.

Alfred had liked him back.

Alfred had liked him first.

And suddenly a chat box was opening and a messaged appeared. Alfred must be on his phone checking Tinder right now, and sent Arthur a message as soon as the match came through.

Hey Arthur! Its great to meet you! I was afraid you wouldn’t swipe me back! I swiped you like a week ago and then got nothing in return. :’( I thought you weren’t interested and I was really sad. But I’m so glad you swiped me today! I’ve been really hoping to talk to you.”

As Arthur was reading, another message came through, and finally a third.

Urgh sorry! I hope that didn’t sound too weird! I knew I would say something dumb even though I’ve been trying to plan what to write to sound all cool. I just really liked your profile and was hoping I’d get a chance to talk to you.

I hope I’m not being too forward! I know –

Arthur stopped reading to look up from his phone and stared, dumbstruck, at Francis.

“He likes me back…” he said slowly, disbelieving.

“So it would seem,” he smiled, happy for his friend even if Arthur was being more oblivious than usual. “Why don’t you send him a reply? He seems very eager to talk to you, don’t leave him waiting.”

“O-of course!” Arthur turned his attention back to his phone, eyes bright and cheeks rosy like an excited child. He walked off to his room, typing frantically the whole way and only narrowly avoiding walking into a few walls.

Francis smiled to himself, leaving Arthur alone to fall in love in peace tonight, but planning a barrage of teasing for the morning.

(He ended up having particularly good fodder when he found out Arthur slept with Alfred on the first date, and he could taunt him about using Tinder for a casual hook up like the dirty boy Francis had always said he was.)

(He would also bring that up at Alfred and Arthur’s wedding six months later, but the happy couple was too blissful to care about Francis’ antics on that particular day.)

‘American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare’ Season Premiere Recap: Reality Frights

Warning: This recap for the “Chapter 1” episode of American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare contains spoilers.

The next time you see a raccoon dragging a human hand through a mall, ask no questions, for you need no answers. Life’s most beautiful mysteries should remain as such, just as life’s most delicious surprises need not be dampened by forewarning. So now, in its sixth lurid and disgusting and incredible season, American Horror Story makes official what we may have suspected all along: It simply does not give a damn about spoon-feeding us anything at all. Explanations, coherent storylines, even the PREMISE itself. This year if we want to know what’s going on with this show, it’s on US to figure it out. And that is just straight-up exciting.

Related: Ken Tucker Reviews ‘American Horror Story’ Season Premiere

No, really. When did we get so dead-set on knowing everything about a story before we’ve seen it? Hasn’t Ryan Murphy earned our trust by assembling and reassembling TV’s best cast and subjecting them to all manner of insane grotesqueries year after year? Yes, he has. Which was why it was borderline hilarious when all of American Horror Story: 6′s promos suggested that this season’s premise was nothing less than EVERYTHING. No longer would this series be hemmed in by themes as basic as “witches” or “ghosts” or “David Bowie covers.” We’re in uncharted territory now, and when there are no maps there are only opportunities for surprise. Surprise! We’re in Roanoke.

Folks, I’m going to level with you. Even after sitting through the entire first hour, I’m still not sure what the premise of this season is. The main things we need to know are: (1) This season appears to be a meta show-within-a-show type of thing, and (2) as far as the horror is concerned, it’s a back-to-basics situation. We’re talking empty, foreboding houses, countless homages to horror classics — Blair Witch, The Amityville Horror, The Wicker Man — and the usual overqualified menagerie of actors. But aside from those main things, there’s something unsettlingly strange about what exactly this season is trying to accomplish. Fully half of the advertised cast didn’t appear in this episode, and who even knows how the reality TV angle will play out over 13 episodes. Something tells me AHS has some tricks up its sleeve this season, and the fact that I have no idea what they could be is why I’m truly thrilled right now. So let’s get into this episode!

As with any epic horror tale, we were ushered into the macabre madness by a harbinger of evil… 

American Horror Story is a tricky show — just full of tricks and twists and jokes and japes — so it wasn’t immediately clear if this personalized introduction-slash-Mercedes ad was supposed to be satire or some kind of meta item, but apparently it wasn’t. It was just Ryan Murphy hawking a luxury vehicle, no big deal. “May your nightmares be forever burdened by what you are about to see, and also maybe consider trading in your jalopy for some fine German engineering?”

Anyway, the episode hadn’t even started yet. Then suddenly it started! 

Lily Rabe (Aileen Wuornos, Misty Day) appeared as Shelby, a talking head on some kind of paranormal reality show. She was here to tell a tale, a nightmare tale specific to the U.S.A. An American horror story, if you will.

Her husband was this guy. And, as the onscreen titles informed us, we were about to hear THEIR TRUE STORY. The truest story of all. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to… 

My Roanoke Nightmare was a lot like those “true” paranormal reality shows that you might watch at 4 a.m. when refreshing your ex’s Instagram feed gets too psychologically harrowing. But imagine if those crappy basic-cable fake-outs contained VERY EXPENSIVE-looking reenactments populated by Emmy- and Oscar-winning actors!

Because yep: The talking head duo were then portrayed by Sarah Paulson and Cuba Gooding Jr. in the “reenactments.” Honestly these actors were so distractingly overqualified that it felt like an episode of Drunk History. To say nothing of the fact that this also kind of felt like Marcia Clark and O.J. Simpson had eloped after the trial.

OK, so the story was this: Shelby and Matt were living the dream and were pregnant and everything, but then a gang member ran up to them on the sidewalk and punched everybody until Matt was in a coma and Shelby’s unborn baby was like “Nope!” So they decided they needed a fresh start in an arguably MORE terrifying place than downtown Los Angeles: THE DEEP SOUTH. There they bought a giant repulsive mansion for $40,000, which made them instant enemies of Chaz Bono and his inbred besties.

On the upside, Shelby could now use this dilapidated mansion for all manner of interesting things, including yoga, and also hot yoga.

But things started getting weird right away. For example, the first night they tried to do sex to each other, guess what interrupted them? PIG SCREAMS.

Matt went outside to investigate, but all he found were torn-apart trashcans much like the ones the unseen bully threw at Arnold on Diff’rent Strokes. This was not a good sign.

Another bad sign was when Shelby was trying to enjoy a nice bowl of Greek yogurt and a hailstorm started rattling the skylight. Except it wasn’t ice or sleet, it was HUMAN TEETH. But because this was a horror story, the instant she tried to tell Matt about it, all the teeth disappeared. Ugh, disappearing jump scares are the worst. These ladies know what I’m talking about:

They were chilling in the hallway at one point. Who were they? Didn’t matter. Because Shelby was ready to instantly forget about their presence and instead take a dip in the haunted hot tub! 

I probably don’t have to tell you this, but this is not a great idea on Shelby’s part. Within seconds of moistening her bathing suit region, a team of unseen yokels attempted to drown her in the water! They too disappeared, and as rattled as Shelby was about the whole thing, all the local sheriff could do about it was make that “glug-glug” motion with his hand and point at her knowingly.  

To his credit, Matt believed his wife, which was only fair considering he too kept encountering what is known in the business as f***ed-up s***. Look at this eviscerated pig corpse he found on the welcome mat! Just look at it. Rude, right? Who would do such a thing? Paula Deen? It was a mean thing to do and that’s a fact.

So at this point we met our third interviewee: Matt’s sister! And yes, she was Tara’s mom from True Blood, obviously. But guess who plays her in the reenactments?

ANGELA BASSETT. Oh, thank God. By which I mean thank ANGELA BASSETT. This season Bassett plays Cuba Gooding Jr.’s sister, and she is a former prescription pill addict who lost her badge when she popped too many pills while a dude committed suicide. Or something.

Honestly it doesn’t matter. She is Angela Bassett and she is here to help! 

Which is necessary, because the exact same night Angela Bassett arrived, not only was she set upon by a hater (Shelby), but the house itself was invaded by rednecks with pitchforks! As Shelby and Angela Bassett cowered in the basement watching a mysterious videotape that was playing on a weird old TV for some reason, the rednecks were upstairs TP’ing the entryway with Blair Witch twig boys!  

A lot was going on here and Angela Bassett didn’t have time for ANY of it. Not the pigman in the video, not the twig boys, not the empty wine bottles rolling around in her bedroom when she was just trying to get some damn sleep. Yet to Shelby’s credit it was SHE who took the initiative to swiftly get the f*** out of there.

Shelby just hopped in her Mercedes (I’m guessing) and hit the highway! Where she then hit Kathy Bates! 

Yep, Shelby straight-up ran over Kathy Bates with her Mercedes, but Kathy Bates being Kathy Bates, she simply got up off the ground, picked up her bloody butcher knife, and disappeared into the dark woods. If I had a dollar for every time I’ve seen this happen, I’d have at least seven dollars. 

At this point Shelby had no choice but to follow Kathy Bates into the dark woods, where she immediately found ANOTHER set of twig boys hanging from the trees. Another issue was the fact that the forest floor was undulating like crazy. We’re talking acres of woodlands just lazily rising and falling and rolling around like me on a waterbed. This was Shelby’s cue to stand up and investigate.

At this point she discovered none other than Wes Bentley roaming around with a torch looking all creepy-sexy. But before she could compliment his wig and beard, some guy ran out of the woods with his scalp missing! 

And it was at this point the credits began to roll. What on earth was this episode?!

It was just the beginning, that’s what. Either this season promises to continue in this vein, or things will get very shaken up by twists and meta-surprises. Either way, My Roanoke Nightmare is a reminder that AHS remains one of TV’s most audacious and impressive surprises. Much like the Roanoke colony itself, I can’t wait to disappear into it. 

What did YOU think about “Chapter 1”?

American Horror Story: My Roanoke Nightmare airs Wednesdays at 10 p.m. on FX.