i would like to eat this please

Jason Todd Headcanon (NSFW)

Request: Can you please do headcanons for what jason todd is like in bed and maybe his kinks as well? Thank you!

  • Um this boy definitely has some kinks
  • At least I feel that he would
  • DADDY KINK OH MY GOD
  • And hickies
  • So many hickies
  • He just lives for covering you in hickies.  They’re everywhere
  • Praise Kink?
  • Like he’ll tell you how good you’re doing over and over again
  • He could probably go on for a REALLY long time.  And he does
  • Sometimes he’ll just eat you out for hours before doing anything
  • He just loves to eat you out
  • He’s so skilled at it too
  • During sex he’s probably fast and rough
  • But then sometimes he’ll go really slow to tease you
  • Oh god he’s such a tease
  • I feel like he’s really vocal during sex
  • He’ll probably moan really loud if you scratch/bite down too hard
  • And he’s always moaning
  • Afterwards he always makes sure that he wasn’t too hard
  • Like he makes sure that you’re ok and then he covers you in kisses and is just really affectionate

Today I watched Hallmark movies all day, in my pjs, whilst eating chicken soup and drinking hot chocolate. I feel so warm it’s not even funny. Cozy. Happy. 

However, I do have an extra bedroom in my apartment, if anyone would also like to indulge in homemade foods, and a cozy little place. I keep it tidy. Please, get in contact and hit a girl up. I need company.

anonymous asked:

Hey hey, how would 1p and 2p Germany and Prussia encourage their s/o to get healthy and lose weight? I'm really trying to get to a healthy weight before summer, & I would like some encouragement please. ^_^ Thank you, lovely blog, by the way!

1p Germany- Ludwig is probably the most encouraging person you could find. He’d become your personal trainer, but only if you’re ok with it. You’ll be ready for summer in no time with his help!
2p Germany- Lutz is kind of a lazy guy, so he might not be the most qualified person to help you. He’ll still support you and remind you to eat healthy and exercise daily.
Prussia- He’s really impressed by your motivation to get healthier. He’ll try to cook you some delicious healthy meals and occasionally he’d join you for a run.
(Thank you! I hope you reach all of your goals!)

some things i admit i have said out loud in public in finnish in foreign countries because i was overwhelmed by the liberating feeling of being 99% sure that nobody can understand me
  • “walk faster you idiots”
  • “that man looks like he listens to maroon 5 and has no opinions”
  • “why would she buy that disgusting crap bread”
  • “sweden sucks”
  • “you know i havent shat in 3 days”
  • (next to a police officer) “hey i am a dangerous criminal with guns and bombs arrest me”
  • *bunch of finnish profanities for no reason*
  • “do you think she realizes i am drunk” 
  • “i want to steal his phone”
  • “please don’t sit next to me please don’t sit next to me pleas– oh crap”
  • “did you notice that man next to you eats his own snot”
  • “hey don’t look at that woman on your right and let’s pretend we are talking about something very important and completely unrelated but do you think she looks like our old math teacher”
  • “i cant believe he is really wearing crocs”
  • “why are all these clothes in this store so ugly”
  • “how do we get rid of this person”
  • “i am sure everybody in this bus can smell that i haven’t showered in 4 days”
the signs as shit gordon ramsay says in kitchen nightmares
  • aries: you fucking donut
  • taurus: i would like to pray before i eat this
  • gemini: you stuck up precious little bitch
  • cancer: bland as fuck
  • leo: have you ever sat at a table and watched 6 customers with its fucking donkey dick swinging in front of its face? it's hilarious
  • virgo: no, don't eat that, i don't want to be responsible for putting you back in the hospital
  • libra: it's not a crab cake... it's a crap cake
  • scorpio: that baby was fucking ugly
  • sagittarius: *gags and spits out food*
  • capricorn: looks like a fucking flip-flop
  • aquarius: stuffed clams. looks like a dog shat in the shells
  • pisces: i need the toilet, excuse me, i knew it would come out faster than it went in
A Christmas Drama
  • Person A : *takes a deep breath* I can't believe you did this to me!
  • Person B : I didn't mean to! I-I just...
  • Person A : WHY?! I TRUSTED YOU! I can't believe you betray me like this!
  • Person B : Please, listen to me I just- *tearing up*
  • Person A : I can't believe you would...I thought you LOVE me!
  • Person B : I do-
  • Person A : THEN WHY?!
  • *silence, heavy breathing
  • Person A : Then why...why would you eat all the Christmas cookies? *sniff
A list of my favorite quotes from Firebringer:

“Well guess what you privileged fucks?” 

“Go ahead and hold my stick, I know you like that.”

“I have loved you from the moment I clobbered your mother to death.”

“I probably would have just kept eating it ‘til I died.”

“So… I’m not special?” “Oh, Tiblyn… no.”

“What’s the point of hard work if we’re not doing it to please a duck?”

“Don’t be mean to Lauren.”

“I believe if we burn enough things, we can change the climate permanently.”

“Emberly, you just shat out a fire.”

So I was kinda in a car accident this week and as a result I lost a good few hours at my job and also had to replace my car so I’m opening up some emergency commissions! Single character, waist/thigh up, like the example shown. I will draw original characters and fanart. I won’t draw real people (sorry!) n/s/f/w, complex characters or furries.

If you’re interested email me at vasiradraws@gmail.com. (don’t message me about it on tumblr please, tumblr likes to eat asks and i also lose info when i respond) Payment is upfront and via Paypal only. I’m only taking 5 slots at a time so if you’re interested let me know!

1. FULL

2. FULL

3. FULL

4. FULL

5. FULL

The real question is: Does Eric Bittle know that we all want him to open a bakery? Does he get comments on his vlogs that are like “please open a shop somewhere because I would eat your pies for dayzz”? Because I need him to know this. It’s important for reasons

gone girl starters

below are random starters taken from/inspired by the novel Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.

  • ❝Should I remove my soul before I come inside?❞
  • ❝Please don’t eat anything in that area.❞
  • ❝He is the kind of guy who carries himself like he gets laid a lot, a guy who likes women, a guy who would actually fuck me properly.❞
  • ❝I would like to be fucked properly.❞
  • ❝I sound quite slutty, don’t I?❞
  • ❝You look all twitchy.❞
  • ❝There’s no romantic present for wood.❞
  • ❝Go home, fuck her brains out, then smack her with your penis and scream, ‘There’s some wood for you, bitch.‘❞
  • ❝Seems lonely.❞
  • ❝The cat was sweet, but extremely stupid.❞
  • ❝Well you certainly take your time about it, don’t you?❞
  • ❝So how likely is it I’ll meet someone I love, much less someone I love enough to marry?❞
  • ❝'He’s doing what you tell him to do because he doesn’t care enough to argue,’ I think. 'Your petty demands simply make him feel superior, or resentful, and someday he will fuck his pretty, young coworker who asks nothing of him, and you will actually be shocked.'❞
  • ❝Let me guess: baby of the family.❞
  • ❝I am fat with love!❞
  • ❝Neither of us gets stage fright.❞
  • ❝This is how I always pictured it. This is exactly how I pictured it.❞
  • ❝I sometimes bring my coffee and the paper and just sit.❞
  • ❝You’re a planner, aren’t you? You don’t seem like the type to wing anything.❞
  • ❝We call them the 'dancing monkeys’.❞
  • ❝I am content with letting him be himself.❞
  • ❝I wanted to play it cool, but then I started crying.❞
  • ❝Please don’t lay a guilt trip on me on top of it.❞
  • ❝Not according to the prenup.❞
  • ❝I can’t even figure out if I should be angry.❞
  • ❝My dad isn’t someone I like to talk about that much.❞
  • ❝I feel like something is going wrong, very wrong, and that it will get even worse.❞
  • ❝I don’t feel like a person at all : I am something to be loaded and unloaded, like a sofa or a cuckoo clock.❞
  • ❝I don’t feel real anymore.❞
  • ❝I still say it’s the river.❞
  • ❝Picture me: I’m crazy about you.❞
  • ❝Wow your parents must really hate me.❞
  • I ❝Hope you like canned soup.❞
  • ❝If there was ever a time for assisted sleep…❞
  • ❝Just got to keep on keeping on.❞
  • ❝I’m making the best of a really bad situation.❞
  • ❝He/She seemed to have lost all interest in both me and said ailing parents.❞
  • ❝Baby, why the fuck haven’t you called me?❞
  • ❝I need to feel your hands on me, that’s all I’ve been thinking about.❞
  • ❝Come up with me. I want to be with you.❞
  • ❝You fucking idiot.❞
  • ❝Sometimes, I look at myself and I think : No wonder why people around you find you ridiculous, frivolous, and spoiled.❞
  • ❝No it’s not that, truly. I’ve never given blood. My doctor gets angry at me because I can’t even handle a yearly blood test for, like, cholesterol.❞
  • ❝How old are they?❞
  • ❝You’re a cheater!❞
  • ❝It would be funnier if our sex life were as carefree as the rhyme would suggest. But last week we did… fuck? Something more romantic than have sex but less cheesy than make love.❞
  • ❝I can’t help but wonder, what’s the catch?❞
  • ❝You were in a screaming argument about a cat box.❞
  • ❝He uses me for sex when he needs to.❞
  • ❝Quiz: Your husband, with whom you shared a wonderful sex life, has turned distant and cold – he only wants sex his way, on his time. What do you do?❞
  • ❝I’ve been indulging in toddler therapy.❞
  • ❝Well, now might be the right time. To start a family. Try to get pregnant.❞
  • ❝I m cracking under the pressure. I will snap.❞
  • ❝I didn’t realize until I was almost there that it was Valentine’s Day. It was Valentine’s day and I was going to buy a gun and then cook my spouse dinner.❞
  • ❝I just would feel safer with a gun.❞
  • ❝I don’t know what would be good luck : plus sign or minus sign.❞
  • ❝This man might kill me.❞
  • ❝Picture me : I’m a girl who is very bad. I need to be punished, and by punished, I mean HAD.❞
  • ❝I’ve told you, I’ve told you so many times!❞
  • ❝To start: I should never have been born.❞
  • ❝Is she still alive?❞
  • ❝I was the girl/boy who battled oblivion and won.❞
  • ❝I ruined my mother’s womb in the process.❞
  • ❝I’ve always been better than the rest of them. I was the one who made it.❞
  • ❝They get to be perfect without even trying, without even facing one moment of existence, while I am here on earth, and everyday I must try, and every day is a chance to be less than perfect.❞
  • ❝That’s because you loved a person who didn’t really exist.❞
  • ❝Being the Cool Girl means you are a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes, and anal sex.❞
  • ❝Men actually think that girl exists.❞
  • ❝The Cool Girls are even more pathetic. They’re not pretending to be the woman they want to be, they’re pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be.❞
  • ❝It’s tempting to be the girl every guy wants.❞
  • ❝They never taught me how to be happy.❞
  • ❝I would always try to figure out why this is fun.❞
  • ❝If you let a man cancel plans or decline to do things for you, you lose.❞
  • ❝What a cunt.❞
Risky Behavior

Y’all, this is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. NSFW. THIS IS SMUT. SEX ON A PAGE. Okay, you’ve been warned. This is written as a thank you for 1,000 followers! I’m so happy that all of you have deigned to entertain my crazy ideas, and my rants, and all of the multiple fandoms I’m involved in. I don’t ge t to talk to you guys a lot, because sometimes I feel like it would be a little weird if I tried to insert myself in conversations, and also because I admire you all so much AND i’M SHY, but please know I admire you greatly from afar. That being said, I’m always open to conversation, because I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU ALL. SO THANK YOU AND ENJOY FEYSAND SEX. (aLSO FEEL FREE TO TALK TO ME i need to be more social this year)

I’m bored.

I scowled at the note that had appeared on the piece of toast I was about to eat. I had nearly eaten the paper, and I knew Rhys knew this, because I could feel laughter flicker down our bond. I dropped the toast back on the plate and plucked the note back up, casting a wary glance over my shoulder before answering him.

I’m sorry.

I watched the note disappear and then finally took a bite of my toast, the butter simple and bland, like everything I ate in the Spring Court. I’d been eating more food than I was the last time I was here, evidently to Tamlin’s chagrin, because the servants started putting less and less on my plate.

I couldn’t say I’d ever been more insulted in my life.

Or hungry.

Go do something fun to Tamlin. All of this sitting and waiting for the ‘opportune moment’ as Mor keeps saying, is driving me out of my mind.

I rolled my eyes and took a small sip of my tea—jasmine, my only comfort from home. From the Night Court. If he wanted fun, I could give him fun. Just, maybe not his idea of fun.

Calanmai is coming up. Maybe I could—

Keep reading

omgcp characters as things I've done
  • inspired by like every omgcp blog
  • Bitty: got really pissed when no one would eat my peach tart and force fed it to my brother
  • Jack: Had my Queer Awakening(TM) while literally sitting in a closet
  • Holster: sang through the whole Hamilton soundtrack but replaced every "Alexander" with "Adam Sandler", "Hamilton" with "Camel toe", and "Smile more" with "Macklemore"
  • Ransom: Went on a 4am rant about how cool the ocean is and wound up crying
  • Shitty: got into a fight with a bunch of random ass fuckboys about the perks of being a stripper and wound up flashing them before angrily falling into a bush
  • Lardo: invited all my friends over and used them to help me paint space on my door
  • Johnson the Metaphysical Goalie: used my lucid dreaming to turn my friends into old people
  • Chowder: tried to flirt with a pretty girl but wound up sobbing over a dog in my friend's lap while she sat there and watched
  • Nursey: told my friend to chill while I was having a panic attack
  • Dex: stopped talking to my friend bc I realized I had gay feelings for them
  • Tango: started genuinely considering the possibility of Waluigi having feelings
  • Whiskey: Went to a party and spent the whole time being a cynical homosexual
  • Parse: painted a gay flag on my face and forced myself to cry so it would run
Things Said To or About My Dog:
  • “KEEP YOUR BUTT TO YOURSELF!!”
  • “Did you just spit out your medicine?!”
  • “He acts like he’s never been fed in his life.”
  • “Stop having sex with inanimate objects!”
  • “He’d hurl himself into a volcano just to eat a French fry.”  
  • “Stop being an asshole.”
  • “Don’t look at me like that!”
  • “Give me some room to breathe, would you?”
  • “Oh my god. Please tell me you didn’t eat that.”
  • “My son is so rude.”
  • “You just do the opposite of everything I say don’t you?”
  • “Don’t backsass me!”
  • “It doesn’t need a pulse for [NAME] to get busy with it.”
  • “Really? You’re gonna do that right now? We have company.”
  • “I’m telling you, you don’t want to eat this. You won’t like it.”
  • “Look how cute your butt is!”
  • “Magikoopa your doopa!”
  • “Stealing?! Again?!”
  • “Just because you peed on it doesn’t mean it’s yours.”
  • “He brings his toys wherever he goes, then forgets and pees on them.”  
  • “This idiot just ran into the middle of the street and almost got hit!”
  • “Why are you so out of breath?”
  • “Sorry, he’s kind of racist.”
  • “Why are you so antisocial? Can’t you get along with anyone?”
  • “Believe it or not, sniffing someone’s butt isn’t very polite.”
  • “It’s not time to play. It’s time to go to bed.”
  • “Just because you can’t sleep doesn’t mean you should wake me up.”
  • “Why are you digging?”  
  • “What’s that in your mouth?”
  • “Oh, so now you’re ignoring me?”
  • “Look at that cute face!!”
  • “Just because it’s your birthday, doesn’t mean you can act like this.”
  • “Why is he running around like a lunatic?”
  • “You only eat under the table?”
  • “Wanna go swimming?”
  • “Leave him alone!”
i’m gay and homeless and i need help surviving and getting back on my feet

sup, tumblr, my name’s zack and i’m a 26-year-old disabled (schizoaffective and physically disabled, mobility aid user) gay trans man. after some Life Upheaval, i ended up in scotland with no job and i’m currently couchsurfing at a friend’s, which is like, officially considered homelessness in scotland.

i need money to eat, to save up towards medical transition and to get a new phone and a sim card. i’m shooting for around 500 GBP, though more would be great, so i can pay back my friends for the money they loaned me.

my paypal is isakgrozny at gmail dot com. anything you can give helps massively. if you can’t donate, please reblog!

The Signs as things I’ve said
  • Gemini: All I want in life is titty physics
  • Scorpio: Fuck your parents. Don’t fuck your parents, but fuck your parents
  • Aquarius: I define success as being able to afford the nice toilet paper
  • Pisces: would you rather be a shitfuck or a fuckshit?
  • Leo: they make it with black magic and nice screwdrivers
  • Cancer: if you get me sick, I’m eating your entire motorcycle
  • Libra: nothing like speedballing on coffee and cough syrup
  • Virgo: I wouldn’t be so shitty if i wasn’t a piece of shit
  • Taurus: Beep boop motherfucker, please insert sausage
  • Sagittarius:That’s a level of socially awkward that borders on classic vampire literature
  • Capricorn: sex won’t solve your problems, but it’s a nice distraction, and if it doesn’t do that, then you’re fucked either way

penckel  asked:

Hi! I was wondering if you would translate the new sketch of Ciel eating icecream, please?

Anonymous said to akumadeenglish: Hi =) can you translate yana’s previous scribble where ciel was eating a popsicle stick and sebby holding a toothbrush.. thanks

Hi! :D

Yana’s tweet:

I heard that the Kuroshitsuji movie will collaborate with PARM, so…. PARM is so delicious, don’t you think, too? It’s so delicious that once you feel like eating it, you’d run to the convenience store [to buy it] even if you already took a bath and wore you pyjama. -Toboso.

Illustration:

Ciel: I heard that Kuroshitsuji will collaborate with PARM… PARM is delicious, especially [if you eat it] after taking a bath.

Sebastian: When you’re done eating, you have to brush your teeth.

Information: If you buy PARM at AEON (Japanese supermarket), you’ll get an original Kuroshitsuji folder.

BTS Reaction to realising that they are in love

Remember, as of now requests are open. Please check my Request Guide to know what I write and for who I write! :)


Seokjin- He’d turn so stupid, he would be trying his hardest to make you laugh all the time. Still he would try to make to not obvious he likes you, I feel like he would kinda fail at it though ‘’Why don’t teddy bears ever really eat at their picnics?’’, since whenever he made you laugh he would be laughing with you ‘’Because they’re already stuffed’’. He’d also become even more nice to you, he’d always ask if something is bothering you or not.

Originally posted by bwiseoks

Yoongi- With Yoongi, I feel like he wouldn’t change, the most out of everyone. Since he isn’t the best at showing his emotions towards people he cares about. He would still be the same, maybe he would be making jokes more often than before, but no one would notice it. Sometimes if one of the BTS members is lucky they can see him staring at you with the most adoring gaze ever, but you wouldn’t see the look, since at those times he wouldn’t be close enough to you, for you to see.

Originally posted by andrea-samantha

Hoseok- Oh, he would definitely show he cares about you, since Hoseok is quite nice to everyone already, he would change a bit, he would become even more affectionate towards you, no one would really notice it though, since he is already affectionate towards a lot of people. I’m pretty sure 90% of the time you’re with him, you’d be dying from laughter as well.

(You’re Yoongi)

Originally posted by syubprince

Namjoon- I feel like Namjoon would be similar to Seokjin, he would kinda turn stupid, making stupid jokes and stuff just to make you happy ‘’Hey, Y/N! Remember this?’’, since he would like for you to always be happy. When he would realise that he loves he would completely accept it, he won’t show it though. Since he isn’t sure if you like him in that way. So at first he would not do much, but when he for sure know that you like him in that way as well, prepare yourself.

Originally posted by bangtanshityeondan

Jimin- As soon as he knows his feelings for you, he will be so shy. He would still try to make you laugh, but when he does make you laugh he would get all fluffy and stuff. He would try not to show his feeling for you ‘’Do you see how perfect she is Taehyung?’’, but I’m guaranteed he would fail. He would be so sweet though, he would always try to help you with stuff, but while he would help you with it he would just be smiling 25/8.

Originally posted by bwipsul

Taehyung- I feel like Tae would be the most composed out of everyone, he’d also be the best at not being obvious. He would be the same, but he would get more affectionate and talkative. Tae would always be trying to make you laugh or at least smile, he would find anything you do cute and adorable. ‘‘How can a person be this adorable?’‘, he’d be so awestruck every time he sees you.

Originally posted by suga-com

Jungkook- I think Kookie would become a bit distant, he wouldn’t really know what to do or how to react to his new feelings, at first he tried to ignore them but it didn’t work. So now he would be a bit awkward around you ‘‘What do you think of this dress, Jungkook? How does it look?’‘, mainly because every time he saw you ‘‘It……it looks…….nice..?…..’‘, his feelings came crashing back.

Originally posted by jjks

~Admin Soul~

I’M BAAAAAACK!

Tumblr finally got back to me and have restored my account!

Originally posted by magnificentbonanza

So why did the terminate my account in the first place? Welp, I’m not too proud to eat my own words and say even though I thought it couldn’t be possible, the reason they gave me was Adfly links.

Apparently, even though Tumblr’s TOU doesn’t specifically say anything about Adfly links, they are considered ‘Spam & Deceptive links’. You would think there would be mention of it in their Community Guidelines or maybe they would give people some warning … or you know, focus on more important things like getting rid of triggering content and people who use fake Tumblr accounts to tell others to go kill themselves but oh well.

They simply said “In the future please refrain from posting links or content from sites that violate our policies on Spam & Deceptive links (like adf.ly or q.gs/ ) or your account will be automatically and definitely terminated.”  Would have been nice to get a warning like that before they terminated my account and stressed me out for three days by not replying BUT ANYWAY! I’m going to do exactly as I said I would if this turned out to be the case and stop using Adfly. I’m not sure if I need to go back and remove all my Adfly links but I’m going to anyway because I don’t want to risk being terminated again.

I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to afford future packs though… I may move my downloads to a different site that allows Adfly links at some point but for now, I’m too exhausted from all of this and from other things that have been going on to do more than remove the links and catch up on the stories I’ve missed.

One last thing. As I said, I’m not too proud to admit that I was wrong and Adfly was the issue, so please do me the courtesy of not bombarding my inbox with “I told you so” messages. I just got my account back, I don’t want to spend the first few hours blocking people.

Seventeen going to a BBQ Restaurant

Episode Two: Where Seventeen goes to a BBQ Restaurant and all hell breaks loose


Scoups: “To celebrate our debut and also as a team bonding session, let’s go to a Korean bbq restaurant, it’s on me”

Vernon: “I want pizza, I’ll go book a table for us”

Scoups: “No more pizza Hansol, let’s go eat proper food”

Mingyu: “MINGYU HEARS THE WORD FOOD”

The8: “Oh boy”


Waiter: “How many portions would you like?”

Scoups: “For thirteen people please”

Mingyu: “But I want more….”

Scoups: “We’ll order more when we finish eating what we’ve ordered Mingyu”

Mingyu: “But I usually eat five portions of meat”

Scoups: “What are you a hippo? How do you even finish that much food?”

The8: “Five portions? does the company even give us that much food?”

Mingyu: “I have my ways…” *smiles*

Wonwoo: “Wait… No wonder I felt like my meat was disappearing from my plate”

Jun: *glares at gyu*

Vernon: “Meat? No wait I thought we were at the pizza place down the street?”

Seungkwan: “Keep up Hansol Vernon Chwe, there’s a grill, there is an exhaust above our heads, where the heck do you think we’re at?”

Vernon: “But I already made a reservation…." 

Seungkwan: "Well isn’t that just too bad” *rolls eyes*


*meat arrives*

Scoups: “Time to grill the meat, who’s going to cook it?”

Mingyu: “Mingyu volunteers" 

The8: "No what the heck, you’re gonna secretly eat it all”

Scoups: “Okay so not Mingyu, who else wants to give it a go? Maknae do your job”

Dino: “The pain of being a maknae is real, I should’ve known… I should’ve listened when everyone warned me about it. I should’ve been born one year earlier! Why mum WHY?!!!" 

Seventeen: ….

Jeonghan: "Seungcheol, leave our baby alone you’re stressing him out, be a man and cook it”

Joshua: “You mean our baby”

Scoups: “Ugh I’m already paying and I still have to grill these for you all…”

Jeonghan: “Hmmmm… I think I should tie up my hair, if not it’s going to smell real bad after this”

Joshua: “Do not stare hong jisoo. DO. NOT. STARE. DAMMIT EYES”


DK: “Can I eat it yet?”

Scoups: “No”

DK: “How about now?”

Scoups: “No, Seokmin no”

DK: “What color does it need to be to know if its cooked?”

Scoups: “Brown”

DK: “It’s already brown tho, can I eat it?”

Scoups: “No its not brown enough”

DK: “Now?” 

Hoshi: "I wanna pee”

Woozi: “No one’s stopping you soonyoung”

Hoshi: “But there’s someone in there….” *points and pouts*

Woozi: “Then wait for the person to come out?! jeez…”

Hoshi: “Then can you tell me if the person comes out?" 

Woozi: "Fine, as long as you stop talking" 

Hoshi: "Is he out yet?”

Woozi: “No”

Hoshi: “Is it empty yet?”

Woozi: “Duh, no”

DK: “Is it cooked yet?”

Scoups: “Oh my god Dokyeom NO”

Hoshi: “Now?”

Woozi: “No stop asking me about it”

DK: “hyung is it done?" 

Scoups: "SHUT IT YOU TWO OR I’M PUTTING Y'ALL ON THIS FLIPPING GRILL”

DK: “Well someone has anger management issues”

Jeonghan: “Here you go my baby, you need more meat so you can grow up to be a healthy dino”

Dino: “I’m 18 hyung”

Jeonghan: “Sure you are”

Joshua: “How about me Hannie?”

Jeonghan: “Alright, this is for you Joshie”

Joshua: *blushes* “Best day ever”


Wonwoo: “where did my meat go?”

Jun: “Give Wonwoo back his meat Mingyu!" 

Mingyu: "What are you talking about?”

Jun: “You know what I’m talking about… i saw you taking it from his plate”

Mingyu: “Where’s the proof?”

Jun: “It’s all over your face Mingyu”

Mingyu: “Ugh fine, it’s too late I already ate it all anyways”

Jun: *throws lettuce*

Mingyu: “Two can play that game” *throws kimchi at Jun*

Wonwoo: “Erm”

Jun: “Kimchi?! You ruined my white shirt, I saved this for a special occasion!”

Mingyu: “Oops want some water to wash it away?” *throws water at jun*

Jun: “Ugh that’s it you tall thing, I’m taking you down" 

Woozi: "Fight! Fight! Fight!”

Scoups: “Don’t encourage them Woozi. Guys sit down!”

Mingyu: “Ow ow ow, get off me jun”

Vernon: “Oh shit the pizza place is calling me! What do I do?!”

Seungkwan: “Don’t answer it”

Vernon: “I can’t, they know my name, my number, they know where I liveeeee”

Seungkwan: “Why would you tell them where you live?" 

Vernon: "Pizza delivery?”

Seungkwan: “Just decline the call vernon!" 

Vernon: "Oh no they are calling again! Help me Seungkwan!”

Seungkwan: “Just give me the god damn phone” *snatches phone*

Jun: *yanks mingyu’s hair*

Mingyu: “Rawrrrr” *picks up the metal spoon to hit jun*

Scoups: “SIT YOUR ASSES DOWN OR I’LL UNLEASH THE WOOZI" 

Mingyu & Jun:*silently sits back down*

Scoups: "I need a drink”

Joshua: “Drink water”

Joshua: “Not alcohol”

Scoups: “Soju is clear like water” *drinks a shot of soju*

Joshua: “Close enough”


masterlist ✨

Read the previous episode: Seventeen going to meet each other for the First Time

pointless ransom headcannons because i……lov e  h im

  • he ate paste in elementary school, but like in a cool way. like he wasnt the weird kid, it was just a well known fact in the class that Justin would eat paste if you dared him to 
  • (in fact he’d do most things if you dared him to.)
  • he won the science fair three years in a row, and his parents still have the ribbons. 
  • hates spaghetti. “it feels like im eating hair” “its noodles” “yeah or like. worms” 
  • had a turtle as a pet once. most of his entertainment at that point in his life was caused by him feeding the turtle different vegetables and giggling to himself
  • has older sisters 
  • hates long periods of silence. it just creeps him out. that’s why his best friend is holster who is Very Loud and why he likes to surround himself with people
  • bi
  • once painted his nails pink and then insisted they were “salmon” for an entire week simply to piss holster off
  • has literally never dated someone who is not blonde 
  • has a secret, somewhat shameful collection of sticky notes and highlighters? like, he keeps it in a drawer that not even holster knows about. he literally has like every color, size, brand of highlighter and enough sticky notes to last him three lifetimes. he doesn’t even use them. he never fucking studies. he just. likes them. 
  • texts holster’s mom a lot. they have inside jokes. it’s gotten to that point. 
  • terrified of spiders