i would like a piece of dat

  • Credence: Would you like a piece of cake, Mr Graves?
  • Percival: I'd like a piece of dat ass (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ
  • Credence: (。◕‿◕。)
  • Percival: (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ
  • Credence: (。◕‿◕。)
  • Percival: (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ
  • Credence: But seriosuly, cake?
  • Percival: Yes, thank you.
Once Upon a Time in a Disney Corp Meeting...

Disney Exec: *pacing back and forth* *mumbling*

Disney Employee #1: Is something wrong sir? 

Disney Exec: We need more people…

Disney Employee #1: More people? 

Disney Exec: YES! More people to see the Beauty and the Beast movie! There’s no knowing if it will truly be a success after all these years!

Disney Employee #2: I don’t know, sir. It’s regarded by fans as a classic to this day and still quite popular. Hell, it won several Oscars!

Disney Employee #1: Not to mention, we got Emma Watson to play Belle. Her Harry Potter fame can’t hurt. 

Disney Exec: No no no! We need another push! Something that’s in vogue! Topical! 

Disney Employee #3: Well, it’s a timeless tale. That might not be the best way to-

Disney Exec: GAY! 

Disney Employees: *looks of confusion*

Disney Employee #1: Gay, sir?

Disney Exec: Yes, gay! We’ll make one of the characters gay! It’s perfect! We’ll gain another viewing demographic and then the LGBT community will finally get off my back about not having an openly gay character in any of our work.

Disney Employee #3: Well, wouldn’t it be better to make a NEW character that’s a member of the LGBT community? Then we can tell a respectful story that would-

Disney Exec: Now to figure out who will be gay…hmmm. You three! Who should be gay in Beauty and the Beast?

Disney Employee #2: W-well, we could make Cogsworth gay. Ian McKellan plays him and he’s gay in real life.

Disney Employee #1: We could get creative with this actually…If we make Maurice gay that would bring an interesting layer to his character…Maybe Gaston could be gay and we can explore the idea of his masculinity and overcompensation being a way of him repressing his desire for the same sex, it would be a fascinating look into what repression can make someone-

Disney Exec: I know! LeFou! 

Disney Employees: *all stare*

Disney Exec: You know, Gaston’s bumbling sidekick! Yes, that makes sense! He  follows Gaston everywhere and compliments him. He wants a piece of dat ass for sure! *snorts with laughter*

Disney Employee #2: Are you sure that’s a good idea?

Disney Employee #1: Yeah, he’s the comic foil to Gaston and never taken seriously.

Disney Exec: Yeah, I know, what’s the problem?

Disney Employee #2: And what would it seem like we’re saying about the gay community to have the first gay character be into an egomaniacal villain because of his good looks?

Disney Exec: Yeah, not sure what you’re getting at there.

Disney Employee #1: I mean, LeFou’s name literally means ‘the crazy person’ or  ‘the fool’ in French. Wouldn’t they be insulted?

Disney Exec: Nah, it’ll be fine.

Disney Employee #3: Not to mention in early 1700′s France it was illegal and frowned upon to be-

Disney Exec: *very quickly* Nope I made my decision it’s an awesome decision and it’s going to be great and we’re going to make lots of money now let’s make LeFou gay. 



The End.

2

-it would likely have been an arranged marriage and then when you first met he would fall for you head over heals

-he would immediately be protective over you, even before your actual wedding

-like only he can dance with you

-and kiss your hand

-and take you for chaperoned walks

-and have chaperoned dinners with you

-and buy you expensive jewelry and other things (like a horse, he would definitely buy you a horse)

-yeah he would fall in love with your smile on the spot

-and once you were actually married? he would be so doting and loving and caring

-you would be together 24/7

-he would give you everything you ever wanted

-like a horse

-and a beautiful carriage

-and more horses

-i dont know i just feel he’d want to get you this beautiful horse and just see you smile and be happy and love your horse and just yes

-dat chest

-he would be 100% faithful

-everyone would know how in love with you he is

-he would love to dance with you

-like you two would be known as the most romantic and in love couple who just dances and is completely in your own world together

-he would love watching you get dressed and would often surprise you with a new piece of jewelry to match and would insist on putting it on you himself

-he would just be so happy just being with you

-worrying about him if he had to go into battle

-sex sex sex sex sex

-he would be the type to kiss you by grabbing each side of your face

-he’s so warm!!! like in the winter you just cuddle next to him and he’s a human heater

-i just love him

*************

gif credit (x) original gifset (x)

anonymous asked:

Omg I'm in love with the new speed paints you released. Would you consider uploading to YouTube more frequently. With you fallowing on tumblr you stand a fairly decent chance of being able to profit from you videos

Thanks! I’ll try to record more often when I’m able to. I think instead of speedpaints they’ll be more like progress videos of me animating or workin on a piece. I find it very stressful to sit down and finish an art piece in one sitting or record every time I’m workin, so I would rather film updates. Hope dats okay.

22 Reasons To Love Lord Nobuyuki

In honour of our Lordand saviour’s birthday, I decided to give you proper reasons as to why each one of those 22 pearls you spend on his story set is worth it!
(I’d initially wanted to get this done during his b'day period in SLBP, but… Eheheh… I’m a piece of shit 💝)
Without further ado, here we go!
(Below the cut!)
💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚💚

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

After that blurb, I feel the need for a Niall roommate eventually having sex over something random...

“For fucks sake!” You growl at your roommate. You turn and shake your head at him. “Can you not fucking do anything right!” The dishwasher overflowed with bubbles. 

He had put too much god damn soap into it. Thus, the dishwasher is overflowing with bubbles and the bubbles are all over the kitchen and leaking out to the living room. 

Niall pokes his head out of the door and has to fight to keep from laughing. “I am oh so sorry.” He smirks and walks out of his room. “Did I do dat?” He asks with an innocent look. 

“Yes! You fucking did!” You shove him. You did not think that all of this bull shit would happen with Niall when you took him on. You thought he was a hot piece of ass and you wanted a manly man. 

But he proved to be totally incompetent. 

Niall knew what he was doing. He liked riling you up. You were sexy as fuck and he loved pissing you off. You were particularly hot that way. You were bent over wiping up the bubbles and water and he bit his lip. 

You straighten when you realise he isn’t even paying attention to your anger and your ranting. “Ya going to stare at my arse all day or actually help me!?” You flushed, but not from anger but pleasure… And you were utterly flattered.

 “But it’s so cute.” He smirks and winks at you, starting towards his bedroom.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” You follow him and pull him back, “Don’t think just because you were being cute you can walk off and leave me to clean this up!”

“I was bein’ cute?” He smirks a bit at you. 

“Oh for gods sake!” You growl and turn around to go back to cleaning and he pulls you back to  him. 

“No ya don’.” He smirks and leans down to kiss you, “Ya know, I’ve been wanting to do dat fer a while.”

You look up at him with wide eyes, “I-” You wanted that. You tangle your fingers in his hair and pull him down for another kiss. 

He picks you up and carries you to his room, throwing you on his bed. 


You wake up, curled up around Niall, your head on his shoulder. You had spent the night alternating between love making and fucking. He had love bites decorating his neck and claw marks on his chest. God he looked sexy. 

Niall’s head turned to look at you and he smirks a bit, “Well last night was amazin’.” He stretches and you lean up to kiss on his neck again. 

“I enjoyed it.” 

“I vote we do it again soon.” He smirks. 

“Well… We are roommates.” You giggle and raise your brows at him. 

He bites his lips, “I think we should be lovers.”

x. 

@a-smile-dat-spreads-like-buttah Oh, Morris would take his time on this one. She was breath takingly beautiful, not to mention a good meal. But he wasn’t going to turn her into his dinner just yet. “Doesn’t mattah if ya mind or not - it was happenin’ from the beginning, Crutch.” He smirked, moving a piece of hair from her face. “Ya so pretty, ya know that? I mean, ya gotta know that.”

anonymous asked:

Hartwin prompt. I would like jealous Eggsy, green eyes etc. dat good stuff!

Not since he’d killed Valentine had Eggsy wanted to kill someone so much. Preferably slow and brutal.

The object of his wrath sat directly across the table at Harry’s left hand, fucking… fucking making eyes at Eggsy’s… at Eggsy’s,,,

He didn’t know what to call Harry. Not now that they were more than what they’d been. Some dinner dates, a few kisses here and there. One rushed mutual handjob that Eggsy still feel asleep wanking to most nights.

With more relish than necessary, Eggsy stabbed his knife into his steak and sliced a piece off like it was the man he’d been introduced to as “dear Richard, who’s come to join us for dinner.” Obviously not a knight, or he’d have a code name, but still he was allowed to sit at the Round Table (which was rectangular, but Eggsy had been told to shush when he pointed that out).

Harry laughed, head thrown back and his eyes closed. Okay, fuck this shit. That laugh was fucking reserved for one Gary “Eggsy” Unwin and no snobby tosser with a receding hairline and a figure that was not taking to middle age as well as Harry’s (and if Roxy were to be believed, Merlin’s). “Rich, you always did know just how to make me laugh.”

“That’s it,” Eggsy growled, throwing his napkin from his lap onto the table. “Either stop fucking drooling over my… my… my Harry or you and me is going outside for a chat.” Eggsy cracked his knuckles so the meaning of ‘chat’ wouldn’t be mistaken.

Richard the Tosser blinked up at Eggsy, then over to Harry. “What is the lad on about?”

Eggsy was about to deliver quite a few choice words about what he was on about when Harry interrupted.

“I may,” fuck, was that Harry looking nervous? “May have forgotten to mention an item of some importance, causing Eggsy to draw an incorrect conclusion.”

“Impo-” understanding came over Richard the Tosser’s features and he frowned at Harry. “You little shit.”

“Hey!” Eggsy said, anger not dulling his reflex to defend Harry from all outsiders.

Richard the Tosser looked up at Eggsy. “Oh no, believe me, I’ve known this one since he was in nappies in Mother’s arms and he is, indeed, a little shit.”

“Nappies? Mother?” Eggsy said. “Harry, what the fuck is he on about?”

Harry’s mouth began to open but Richard spoke first. “No, you shut it. You’ve confused the boy enough, clearly.” He addressed Eggsy. “Do sit back down, lad. I promise I was not drooling over Harry because he is, in fact, my youngest brother”

“Brother?” Eggsy turned to Harry for confirmation. “You have a brother?”

“Two brothers, a sister, one brother-in-law and two sisters-in-law. Not to mention a parcel of nieces, nephews as well as our parents happy and well in the country,” Richard answered. “Really, Harry? Past fifty and still acting like you’re a loner, all mysterious and swanning around like you’re alone in the world. My god, every time you fall in love, you turn into a right berk. My boy,” Richard addressed Eggsy, “I was meant to be the first envoy from the family to meet you, as Harry has not uttered a single sentence that did not include your name since he met you. I would like to apologize for my brother being a little shit.”

Eggsy turned his wide eyes from Richard to Harry. “You love me?”

“Very much so,” Harry said, a hand reaching out to lay atop of Eggsy’s. “I’m sorry I haven’t been forthcoming with many details about my life. I haven’t had anyone meet my family in quite a long time.”

“Ever,” Richard cut in. “You’ve never brought anyone to meet us all before, but if that boy is not at Mother’s Christmas Eve luncheon, I will kick your arse, Harry Crispin Hart.” Richard stood. “Eggsy,” he held out his hand, “lovely to meet you. I would like to give this all another try sometime next week when my brother has had sufficient time to bring you up to speed.”

With that, he took his leave and Eggsy was left staring at Harry.

“I know you must have many questions,” Harry said.

“Too right,” Eggsy said. “For starters,” his lips quirked. “Crispin?”