i would give you a cookie too but i dont know who you are

Peanut Butter Cookies

*throws allergic!Lance at you and runs away*

Summary: When Pidge’s birthday rolls around, Allura remembers her offhand comment about liking peanut butter. Little did she know that Lance is actually very, very allergic. (angst and fluff, and a bit of established klance because I have no self control and I ship it leave me alone)

I hardly ever post anything because I have no confidence ha so if you like it, let me know! This is very short compared to lots of other stuff I’ve written.

@taylor-tut I don’t think this is that good or even if it counts as langst/whump but I’ll tag you anyway and @voltronpaella thanks for actually getting me to post this my dude


When Allura called the Paladins into the kitchen, Lance expected some sort of emergency.

Why they’d be meeting in the kitchen, he had no idea, but he slid out of bed regardless. After removing his face mask he padded out into the hall, slightly resentful that he didn’t have time to straighten his hair.

Lance nearly bumped into Hunk in the hallway, who was also still in pajamas. The two were the last to arrive in the kitchen. He surveyed the others and found Shiro in full armor, Keith with an activated bayard, and Pidge rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with a laptop tucked under her arm.

“Princess, we’ve talked about this,” Lance grumbled. “You have got to stop interrupting my beauty sleep.”

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SUPER TEXT LIST! (Texts From Last Night Inspired)

originally from frommemetoyou

  • [text] Are you lost?
  • [text] NO! That was a typo
  • [text] Did you buy it?
  • [text] I think I’m a mermaid
  • [text] I know it’s 3am, but come over and cook for me. 
  • [text] Too lazy to booty call, so have this text instead
  • [text] Need to bury a body, it’s urgent.
  • [text] Are you sure there’s no monsters?
  • [text] It was an accident.
  • [text] lol fuk da police
  • [text] send me a picture and i’ll be home quicker ;)
  • [text] DO NOT READ THE LAST MESSAGE IT WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU
  • [text] Well maybe I broke my tongue!
  • [text] Please tell me you’re free today! I’ve got some big news today.
  • [text] Got a spare ticket, do you want to come?
  • [text] Do you have a spare mankini I can borrow?
  • [text] Is fancy dress allowed at the wedding?
  • [text] I was using my old baby blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
  • [text] We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead… I just rolled off and tapped out. 
  • [text] Like alphabetically, I’d say a t?
  • [text] I’m sorry if throwing up in the back of your dad’s car ruined our friendship :(
  • [text] there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night singing karaoke and drink out of juice cartons. don’t judge me.
  • [text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.
  • [text] Do you know where I am?
  • [text] My wedding is in 5 hours and I have no idea where I am. Help!
  • [text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would get a piggy back ride home. I’ve never been so broken.
  • [text] Is “head down ass up” an appropriate way to say good morning?
  • [text] That is definitely not healthy, in fact I’m not sure it’s legal to send that sort of picture?
  • [text] There isn’t enough cookie dough ice cream at home, so I’ll be heartbroken tomorrow instead.
  • [text] Not sure if I took a nap or went to another dimension
  • [text] ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! HE IS A TRIPLET, WE DONT NEED TO FIGHT OVER HIM WE CAN HAVE AN ORGY INSTEAD
  • [text] No no don’t leave me, who’s going to walk me home
  • [text] She wheeled me home in a trolley and sad she loved me, I think I win.
  • [text] My dick just got serenaded.
  • [text] I ate the whole wheel of cheese. Help.
  • [text] I’ve been hiding under the bed for the past 20 minutes, and now they’re getting into it and it’s a little too late for me to jump out and surprise them. So expect a live sex updates
  • [text] The fridge is fully stocked. I’m either hallucinating or this is a miracle
  • [text] I need you to help me clean the house because I have visitors in less than an hour???
  • [text] Your brother is at the front door- WHAT DO I SAY?!
  • [text] It’s all fun and games till someone says you’re so pretty they could punch you and they, you know, punch you
  • [text] I’m in A&E but I don’t really know why
  • [text] Went to bed with a 10, just about woke up with a 2 and a half
  • [text] I think I’m officially a homewrecker because his wife just walked in screaming and he said it’s not what it looks like. I mean what else could it look like? I wasn’t trimming his hairs with my mouth?!
  • [text] My night ended with me crying in a gutter, I hate you.
  • [text] He’s decorated the toilet with his urine. I never want to see him ever again, tell him he has 2 minutes to get out of our house.
  • [text] Don’t talk to me! You tried to trade me for a glass of wine and a cigarette!
  • [text] I promise I’ll get everyone to jelly wrestle with us xox
  • [text] I am armed with a crown, a sash and a bouquet of flowers. Don’t test me.
  • [text] I think I got married last night?
  • [text] I think I got married on impulse last night… and after looking a second time, I don’t think i’ve made any mistakes.
  • [text] My mouth tastes like poor choices
  • [text] I didn’t let go of the mechanical bull, but they had to pull me off because… it was rough just the way I like it and I think that showed?
  • [text] If I say it was accidental you’ll just say I’m lying
  • [text] There is an alarming amount of glitter in my… everywhere
  • [text] You’re my hero
  • [text] You’re the worst thing to ever happen to me, thank you
  • [text] Have you ever had a good idea in your life?
  • [text] Are we going to end up in the hospital again?
  • [text] It’s not a good night if I don’t end up crying into your mother’s lap.
  • [text] Mark my words, your dad will be my sugar daddy, he’ll marry me and you’ll have to call me momma bear and I will interrupt your sex life with condoms and condiments.
  • [text] I’m may be allergic to nuts, but not his.
  • [text] She high fived me out of pity
  • [text] You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
  • [text] You just walked in, rated their performance, dragged in three other people to clap for them, then walked back out.
  • [text] You kept calling me baby Jesus and trying to see what wise men had to say about my hair…
  • [text] I am a responsible adult. I tied up my hair before I puked
  • [text] I am a responsible adult, I brought home a lost kitten and let it shit in your room
  • [text] I accidentally talked myself into a threesome, when did I become so smooth?
  • [text] It may or may not have been your sister…
  • [text] It may or may not have been your brother…
  • [text] If you’re not coming over with food, don’t come over at all
  • [text] Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My co-worker is talking to me about her birds having sex again…
  • [text] IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
  • [text] Buy me a helicopter, I will give you the last slice of pizza. pls. this is important. okay maybe the crust?
  • [text] Let’s never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
  • [text] I tried to put lipstick on my eyeballs, help.
  • [text] I told her my cum counts as protein shake and she sent a text to my gran saying I ate her cat.
  • [text] If you don’t fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we’re alone in your room, I’m returning you to the boyfriend store
  • [text] I accidentally sexted your mum, I’m sorry xox
  • [text] There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
  • [text] I feel like you’re pretending I didn’t bail you out of jail last night for trying to staple a cushion to the top of their car so you had a “comfy place to sit”
  • [text] You climbed the fence and then started crying because you were scared of hamsters, I really don’t know what you took, but you need a babysitter.
  • [text]  I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a “let’s fuck” way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of “let me wash your hair” way.

MAP Arguments Refuted

I said I was gonna make this post so here it goes. Be prepared for typos.

I’m a non offending pedophile

According to whom? Yourself? You’re on tumblr which is a site full of minors. You regularly interact with them and have an entire blog dedicated to pedophilia. If you were really non offending, you would be in a therapists office and not online where any impressionable minor can fall into your grasp. By making people believe that anyone could be a non offending pedophile but are regularly online, indulge in shota and lolicon, and gawk at children on the streets, it’ll make it easier for any pedophile to offend and make it harder for children to be believed because the offender calls himself a non offending pedophile. You’re not a non offending pedophile, you’re just trying to normalize pedophile for your own selfish gain.

I’m a CSA survivor

Please get some professional help. You should not be in a toxic community that normalizes your abuse and other abusers. You can get help and it’s never to late. Do not believe the MAPs on here. You do not have to be like them and it’s not your fault that you feel like this.

Pedophilia is a normal attraction.

No it’s not. It’s an immoral paraphilia whether you like it or not. It’s not normal because you’re only attracted to the bodies of children and nothing else. You cant compare that to a normal attraction because it just isn’t. You don’t go to therapist for normal attractions. You have to go to a professional for pedophilia but most MAPs don’t want to because they only think about themselves.

Therapy won’t get rid of the attraction

I never said it would. Nobody did but going to a professional will help you handle it better. Im not gonna trust in your pure will power not to offend if you’re not even gonna get any help. If you’re so desperate to talk about it then talk about it to a therapist. Blogging about it doesn’t help you. It’s not safe for minors and I’m 100% sure they dont like the fact of knowing that anyone they know could be MAPs and could have opportunities to offend them. It’s not fair to them to be aware of it 24/7. Don’t give me that bullshit that they might out you either. Doctor patient confidentiality forbids them from doing that unless you’re a clear danger to yourself or/and others. People like me aren’t therapists either. They can’t have a bias in who they help. If you’re so stuck on not offending but afraid of being outed by a therapist then you never cared about children to begin with. I’d rather take a professional opinion than someone else’s and not some whack job or someone not reliable either.

The MAP community helps me not offend

This is a threat. You’re saying if the MAP community doesn’t exist, which it even shouldn’t, then you’d go out and offend a child. That’s really frightening to think that a tiny community full of other child predators helps you not offend. The only thing this community does is normalize pedophilia. It doesn’t help you not offend. If you offend that’s all on you and nobody else.

I’m a minor (under 16) MAP

No you’re not. You’re still a minor which means you can’t be a pedophile. If you truly think so then get some help. You can still be a normal person. There’s still time. Don’t let these sick fucks on here convince you otherwise cause they’ll just do it to push their cause and for their own benefit, not yours.

I’m a MAP and have POCD

No you don’t. You cant be a MAP and have POCD. POCD cause people distress and it doesn’t look like you’re panicking when you’re trying to explain how hot a kid was when you went to the fucking market. People with POCD don’t talk about children sexually and certainly don’t have a blog dedicated to minor attraction. They hate these thoughts and they dont want to be associated with you. Stop ridding on the backs of the people with this illness and stop messaging people with POCD to try to convince them that they’re MAPs. You’re causing fucking harm to these people so shut the actual fuck up.

We’re just trying to raise awareness

For whom exactly? People know that child predators exist and now they’ll just be even more aware of who they place their children around. No one is gonna trust you not to offend because all it takes is an opportunity. Don’t even dare say raise awareness for children either because that’s just fucking sick and suspicious as fuck. It sounds more like you’re trying to get as close as possible to children without your was being thrown in jail. I’m not surprised either. All of you cut the definition of contact so much that your foot is practically over the line but just not touching the ground. Nobody cares that “non offending” pedophiles exist. Y'all are still a danger to children either way. No more no less. I’m sure all the child predators in jail were non offending before they got caught too so get fucked.

We’re getting more support

No you’re not. You get like 50 notes max, anything over 200 is all antis telling you to fuck off. Some support though from like ableists, minors who don’t know better, and extremely stupid people. I’m not surprised since most if not all MAPs are ableists, racists, xenophobic, islamaphoic, homophobic people who probabaly all voted for Trump or would vote for Trump.

I’m not a danger to children

According to…??? Yourself. Am I supposed to believe that? Sure. Sure. You can’t tell me that people you have told aren’t more cautious about you when you’re next to children which you shouldn’t even be doing. If you were Really non offending your stay away from children at all costs.

There’s no such thing as thought crime

Sure there’s not, however if you tell someone that you think about commiting a crime i.e offending a child or killing someone, you can be arrested for it. All of this isn’t in your mind either. It’s real. You talking about children sexually online is real. You indulging in shota and lolicon which is illegal is real and it makes you offending. You having a blog dedicated to your paraphilia is real and it makes people afraid.

I’m not proud of my attraction

Then why do you have a blog for it? It’s not to find help because even if you only have one IQ point, you would know that going on tumblr is not help. All you’re doing is talking about children online and harrassing minors. If you weren’t proud of it, you wouldn’t continuously be talking about it. You’re not helping yourself.

I just want to be respected and accepted

Fuck you. You’re a fucking pedophile and the world hates pedophiles. Your prey on and are attracted to children. You can’t get respected if you wanna be the lowest scum on the planet. You want respect then shut up about it and get help.

But I don’t harm children

So what? You want a cookie for doing something that any normal person doesn’t even have to think about? You want a special prize? Get fucked.

It’s to erase the stigma around pedophiles and pedophilia

That’s bad. How can you not see that? That’s normalizing pedophilia and it’s for your own benefit. You can say it’s so pedophiles can feel free to go out and get help but you’re wrong. You erase the stigma around pedophilia and people will give then support when they actually do offend a child saying that they didn’t mean it or they couldn’t help themselves. Not to mention any child predator can call themselves a MAP and get support but it’s just so they can get closer to children if they’re not already. You’re a fucking idiot if you wanna erase the stigma around it. It’s stigmatized for a reason.


Message me if you have more you wanna hear and have me refute it.

i like how people are looking at my joseph analysis and either thing its 100% canon or garbage and horrible and that im just trying to make joseph out to be a villain and that i think robert and mary have no flaws themselves

so have another analysis mostly focused on mary’s issues

this is just my theory guys i never stated anything in there to be canon mary could be an alcoholic for a completely different reason that doesnt relate to josephs cheating in the slightest but i find it hard to believe joseph would settle down with someone he’s fully away has a dependency on alcohol and for years outright do nothing about it to help her especially considering hes a christian youth minister.

it might have something to do with mary mentioning “this isnt my first rodeo, it’s my 5th” which hints that mary has given birth 5 times or shes calling joseph a manchild which would be absolutely savage of her to do right in front of his fucking face

so it leads me to believe she’s either

  • insulting joseph
  • has had a 5th child before that she either had to give up or it died at a young age
  • miscarried
  • or if the cult ending is real she gave birth to a literal demon at one point

“but travis, she says she gave birth to only four!!!”

c-sections are a thing you guys, she only really mentioned natural birth when she says “squeezed four little”

if she miscarried, lost the child when it was young, or had to give up one of her children, it would definitely hurt her quite a bit. she would most likely resort to self-destructive behavior as a result.

and ive got a lot of people wondering why mary would become friends with robert knowing that he’s slept with joseph. she must not know, right? otherwise she’d just hate robert, right?

nah man

mary’s smart, she pay attention to her surroundings. but she’s not a snitch. she most like did confront robert about it after she put the pieces together but robert was most likely still distraught after being thrown aside by joseph and she couldn’t help but feel bad for him. mary’s an extremely compassionate woman, i dont feel like after getting a full explanation from robert that she’d hate him.

she knows because she figured out on her own, assumed robert was the one who seduced joseph only to find out that joseph did the same thing to robert he did to the main dad; got close, told you that his marriage was over, slept with you, and turned around after not talking to you for a long time and saying that he and mary were gonna work things out.

mary resents joseph for not telling her what he did with robert, even after being aware that she knows what he’s doing and being aware of his lies, pretending that he’s only being nice and happy around mc dad just to get them into bed with him.

the way he acts really does take a toll on her and her coping mechanism is to drink and flirt with other men. it’s 100% not healthy and not something she should be doing to herself but its the only way she knows how to keep her marriage and really theyre only staying together for the sake of their kids. they’re all still extremely young, one being autistic as well. it’d be way too much on all four of them to divorce just out of the blue, especially when the children clearly love their parents very much even if we dont see mary interacting with he children in the story.

while joseph is off doing all his dates and organizing church stuff she’s most likely with the children. she doesn’t seem like the type to just avoid her parental duties when she knows her husband isnt going to be around. if she knows joseph is going to be home she’ll go and volunteer at the animal shelter, go hang out with robert, or just drink alone. she wants to detach herself from the world and try to keep her mind off of josephs infidelity.

keep in mind in the cult ending dialogue she does say “you ruined my life” we could piece that together with joseph just being a demon and forcing mary into the cult, but it can only tie to where her drinking problem comes in with joseph being the cause for her addiction. she’s fully aware that she shouldn’t be drinking as much as she is, but she’s become dependent on it since she cant leave joseph.

mary has her faults absolutely but to demonize her completely just from your first impressions of her isn’t fair. we get the first impression that joseph is a kind man who will bake with you and bring you cookies, but if we pull back a few layers, we can start to see something sinister in that pink polo shirt just like we can find a kindhearted but hurt woman when we look into mary’s wine glass.

mary definitely loves joseph, she most likely met him when he was still a sailor and they got together at a young age, she probably got pregnant which forced them to get married, lost the child in some way which started her drinking problem and then her husband started being unfaithful before they even had their first child. val is at least in her mid to late twenties, robert lost his wife around when she was getting ready to go to college, so if robert was josephs first offense (which i really dont feel like it is), joseph has been doing this for a very long time when you think about their childrens ages.

all in all please dont hate mary, she has been through a lot you dont have to agree with her coping mechanism but you also shouldn’t throw her under the bus for her self-destructive behavior.

“I Can’t Help Fallin’ In Love”

Request: Hey love :) I hope I can give you an idea for an imagine. You and buck live together in his Apartment in Bucharest and you’re really happy but he feels bad one day cause he can’t give you a better live. Then later that day you prepare something romantic and you cuddle together while you reassure him how much you love him and that you wouldn’t want another life. Sooo he feels better and you even share a Little make-out session but it’s mostly cuddling that night and just fluff? :)

Warnings: angst, then fluff, drunk driving situation

Word Count: 1877

A/N: one of four requests! hopefully this is what you wanted! i might have veered a little. i will work on the other ones this week! if you wanna be on my taglist shoot me an ask! please leave feedback. dont drive when youve been drinking. the title comes from “I Cant Help Falling In Love With You” originally by Elvis but my favorite version is by Haley Reinhart


Originally posted by v-writings

She moved to Bucharest after she lost everything. She needed a fresh start. Y/N never knew that fresh start would involve falling in love with a kind-hearted ex assassin. James Buchanan Barnes, that beautiful bastard. He was everything Y/N had ever dreamed in a man. He was the man a father would love for his daughter to have. Too bad Bucky didn’t see that.

Her parents were killed in a car accident along with her little brother, he was only ten years old. A drunk driver ran a red light and crashed directly into their car. That night she lost everything that ever mattered to her. She sold everything she owned, her bakery included. She backed the few things she had and bought a plane ticket out of the only state and country she had ever known.

Bucharest, Romania, the place she picked to start her new life. She didn’t speak Romanian and she had no idea around the city, but it’s exactly what she needed. She wanted the refreshing feeling of learning new things and meeting new people. No one here would look at her with pity or sympathy. She was just an all-American girl looking for her own happy ending.

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Incomplete

[Summary]: After finding out that your boyfriend Bucky had a one-night stand, your world came crashing down hard and you walk out of his life. Will you give him a second chance? Or will you leave him feeling incomplete?

[Pairing]: Bucky x reader (Steve is mentioned)

[Warning]: angst… SO. MUCH. ANGST. um.. there’s also mentions of cheating, drinking and a tiny bit of swearing.. also a teeny-tiny bit of abuse

[Word Count]: 2,295 (This is the longest one I’ve ever written! Damn, this got really wordy…)

Requested by: @ouatalways

Tagging: @bovaria @marvel-ash @just-call-me-mrs-captain @dividedwecantfall @buckysmetallicstump @mellifluous-melodramas @avengerofyourheart @buckyslion @metalarmproblems @marvelingatthewonder @beccaanne814-blog @mcuimxgine @capsbuchanan @imagine-assembling-the-avengers @that-sokovian-bastard @hellomissmabel @abovethesmokestacks @maybe-mikala @violentlyfarts @hymnofthevalkyries @after-avenging-hours @buckys-shield @buckysberrie @callamint @redgillan @whotheeffisbucky @candyrogers @blueeyedbucky @tragicalchemist @marvelous-fvcks @professionally-crazed @thetalesofmooseandsquirrel @fanfic-shiz @i-dont-know-how-to-write @iwillbeinmynest @theassetseyeliner @lilasiannerd @aubzylynn @ourpeachskies

A/N: BSB gif was made by yours truly! Yea, here we go again with more Backstreet Boys music but this song just fit this request so perfectly. I have no shame for making you listen to their music… [x] Also, I’m so, so sorry about the tiny bit of abuse that I put in here. I DO NOT condone that kind of behavior in a relationship (I have seen it happen and it scared me) I’m also sorry for Steve being a complete jerk in this…

Originally posted by jugheadcami

One hour. One grueling, heart breaking hour is all it took to make the last two years fade into the dark.

You found out from Sam’s roommate, who also happened to be one of your best friends, that your boyfriend and a few of his friends had gotten drunk at a party that Sam threw at his apartment. Even though you were also invited to the party, you had to work that night but you told Bucky that he could go without you. Worst decision you ever made.

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anonymous asked:

hi its me @keithkog on twitter and since you so conveniently forget to mention all the times i’ve apologized and when i deleted the video or any of my explanation, let me tell you about it. there was no excuse for me to post videos without the parent’s consent. that i agree with. it was stupid and wrong, and i genuinely regret that. once i realized my mistake, i deleted the videos. there is NO EXCUSE FOR THAT. but the “sexual assault” thing was unprompted. i never talked about that with her (1/)

and i also never said anything about it. obviously she doesn’t know what that means, since as an anti i still dont think “sexual assault” is a correct term for sheith, its more statutory rape if you’re going to put it into that category w the age of consent. but of course she wouldn’t understand that, and i only laughed in the video bc i was taken aback by her knowledge of that word. regardless, i didn’t press the issue further because you’re right, i have no right to talk about that with a (2/)

a child im babysitting. so i just left it at that. look, i understand if you’re upset by it because you’re a shaladin but you’re making me seem like some huge monster. voltron is literally made for kids their age, and the term “force” was a joke. we’ve watched it together before, and they only protested bc they’re stubborn but they actually rlly enjoyed it after i showed them more. the point i was making about them being mature was in response to someone saying “she’s only 9 she shouldn’t be(3/)

watching voltron” which i disagreed with because both of the girls are mature for their age and can understand it. the only reason they thought it was confusing was bc when we watched episode 1 we were making cookies and they werent paying attention the whole time. i would appreciate if you would take down your posts or at least remove some things because in no way did i force them to talk about sex or bring it up in the first place. thank you.

ps, you have no proof that i fed anyone lines about sexual assault and i promise you i DID NOT. the kid’s parents let them watch a lot of older shows and they have older sibblings and thats how they know about it im guessing. i was surprised to but please don’t accuse me of feeding them lines about sexual assault because thats absolutely disgusting and you have no proof of that

do you exist purely to ignore people’s apologies? Bc my friend the one y'all keep talking about from Twitter, yeah she’s apologized multiple times so could y'all maybe just leave her alone? Bc she had literally 0 intentions for what happened to happen and the fact you all ignore her constant apologies here y'all are being petty and I’m honestly sick of it. Grow the FUCK up y'all she’s a minor too CHRIST. You think it’s ok to harass a minor? Bc if so y'all are even worse than my abuser lmao :/ 

Okay, I’m going to answer this seriously & without the whole “We, the Great & Glorious Lord Pastel Lance” schtick even though I don’t think you actually deserve it. I’m just trying to prove my point here.

> If you were so shocked that a 9 year old said the phrase “sexual assault”, why did you POST IT ONLINE AS A VIDEO TWEET?

>Oh boohoo, you took it down. What, do you want a gold star for that? Well newsflash asshole, if you had bothered to read through my post, you’d know that someone archived your entire tweet thread before you took down the videos. So now there are PERMANENT screenshots of the kids’ faces that were put online WITHOUT PARENTAL PERMISSION because of YOU, you illiterate jackass.

> Why would you EVER laugh at a child, who you’ve claimed to know & babysat for YEARS, having ANY knowledge of what sexual assault is?

> Nice try deflecting dumbass, I’m a Klance shipper AND a Sheith shipper, not just some gross shallie.

> Again, you don’t MAKE kids like the stuff you like. My brothers don’t like Ben 10 after the first 5 minutes of showing them it, (& without me trying to convince them by telling them that gets “really good” later & spoiling shit for them), so I switch the channel to Paw Patrol or search up a Youtube about Minecraft for them instead. I don’t MAKE them continue to marathon Ben 10 with me. You are a shit babysitter.

> Why do you keep suddenly being surprised when people get mad at your own freaking words when you are the one leaving out information & context? 

> It’s still really creepy that you keep saying that the kids are “mature for their age”. That’s literally fucking pedo logic right there, I don’t care about the fucking context, that’s a skeevy thing to say about kids.

> Seriously, what the fuck is stopping you from using the phrase “they’re old enough to watch Voltron, see the TV rating for it?” That is literally so much less creepier.

> You can’t just fucking ASSUME that the kids learned the phrase “sexual assault” from watching TV shows for older kids! That is something you NEED to tell the parents about!

> And you’re not even worried about those older siblings casually talking about sexual assault in front of their baby siblings? At all? Bitch, there are some things that SHOULDN’T be talked about in front of kids!!

> Well, you’re right in that I don’t have actual proof. But given how you & your friends constantly lie & refuse to provide any proof, I don’t give a shit. At this rate, a freaking ANON comment is more trustworthy than your own words.

> Her apologies don’t mean SHIT because as I’ve pointed out before: they’re not real apologies. There was no notion to make amends, to promise to not do the same thing again, etc. Her apologies are HOLLOW. And, frankly, so are your’s. Especially with your friends commenting below about the “nasty shallies” forcing you to apologize. You didn’t “TECHNICALLY” do something wrong, you ACTUALLY did something wrong & fucking illegal, jackass!

> I don’t give a shit if she or you are minors. That doesn’t fucking excuse your behavior. You both can still be arrested or legally punished for this kind of crap.

> When you say shit like that, that I, some random asshole on the Internet documenting your own freaking words, am WORSE than your abuser…..

that just proves to me that you’ve never actually been abused before.

That you don’t give a shit about real abuse & don’t know what it’s like.

No abuse victim would ever make such a flippant comparison to their trauma like that.

You’re the one who’s sick here, not me.

Disclaimer: This response is entirely the opinion of Lord Pastel Lance & NOT of anyone else. Just me. If you have problems with it, criticize me, not other people.

neighbor au ft. hwang minhyun

this was requested by an anon!

a/n: i don’t even know if this is neighbor-y enough l o l. i moved a lot and never talked to my neighbors. why do i feel so unsatisfied with this 

  • you moved into the house next to his around high school and honestly who talks to their neighbors anymore?
  • so you didn’t really know who lived next door until you saw minhyun leaving the front door with a uniform from the same school as you. 
  • that wasn’t really your conversation starter though. minhyun has this cold “fuck off” vibe that you really didn’t want to be near.
  • turns out he was in the class next to yours. you recognized him because he was tall and very very prince-like. also, very very popular.
  • you normally stayed after school for clubs and stuff, but you didn’t really feel like it one day and decided to walk home.
  • but that was the day, you met hwang minhyun.

Keep reading

| abstruse | Bill Cipher

ok so a warning in advance i wrote this premise at three in the morning so its prob gross and unedited bc i dont feel like reading it over right now. also its a two shot so the next part will come another time


ab·struse

/abˈstro͞os,əbˈstro͞os/

adjective

1. difficult to understand; obscure.


The first time you met him you were but a child.

Evening long gone, you stared through your curtains into the darkness, moonlight shining through the silky material and making a dreamlike bath of silver onto your bed.

You kicked your legs restlessly. Summer had begun to creep in and you were becoming agitated with the weather. With this in mind you wrestled off your blankets, no more a cool swaddle of comfort but hot and constricting.

The closet creaked.

You stiffened. You could only see through a sliver of the opening, but it was terrifying. Your foolish imagination pictured something staring at you from the darkness, some unknown monster ready to devour you.

A whimper forced itself from your throat as you pulled the covers back over you, drawing them up to your neck. You looked away but that only made it worse; the fear of what could be there intensified - and if you weren’t looking then what would stop it from devouring you?

So you switched to staring the closet down again, only to lose your wits and look away, the cycle repeating. At the end you were shivering, soaked in sweat as you shut your eyes tight.

I’m going to d-die, mommy, daddy, h-help-!

“Die?”

At the voice your thoughts came to a halting stop. 

“Well if that’s not dramatic, I don’t know what is, kid.”

You were still tense, small hands grasping the sheets so tight you could rip them apart. A hot fear pressed itself into your stomach, but childish curiousity won out, and the world came back into vision as your eyes snapped open.

A wide eye stared back owlishly.

Your lips parted to let out a silent scream, frozen in shock. The eye blinked, an inky black pupil dilating as it examined you. 

The horrifying thing was that you had sworn it had just been bright gold.

“W-Who-” Your bottom lip trembled. Another look proved that the creature didn’t have one eye, no the other was just covered in a weird cloth - you had seen the same thing in one of the pirate picture books in your living room. 

Actually this may not even be a creature. The longer you stared it proved that while a stranger, the man in front of you looked every bit like, well, a man, and not the monster you were imagining. 

The stranger adjusted his eyepatch, leaning back so that you were given an even better vantage point. He rocked on his heels and moved to the left in a motion so smooth it was like he was walking on air. Your stomach squeezed when you realized he was. 

“Go away!” You said, voice shaking but defiant. The man only raised a single eyebrow. 

You did what you were used to doing to escape the monsters. You closed your eyes so tight the skin burned and covered your face. 

What.

He was still there, impossibly. His gaze rested on your form and he snickered, leaning on his cane. You opened your eyes again in fright.

“Not gonna work, kid,” He tapped his finger to his head. “Can’t escape what’s in your mind.”

“M-My mind?” You mouthed uselessly, barely processing this, but easily distracted. The clockwork in your head ground slowly. “So you’re my im-ima-” What was that stupid adult word. “-imagination?”

“There’s a difference to being from your mind and in your mind, kid.”

You screwed up your face. “You make no sense mister.”

He giggled again, and it really was a giggle, one that stretched his lips too wide along snow white teeth and rose uneasy goosebumps to your arms. “I don’t make sense? You are awfully polite to someone you don’t know, who invaded your room in the middle of the night.”

You were dutifully reminded that yes, he was exactly that as soon as the words left his mouth. The fear that had left and been replaced with naive confusion and curiousity instantly came slamming back into you.

As if sensing your terror, his eye flashed gold again. You had no time to feel good that you hadn’t been crazy earlier as he invaded your personal space to get right in your face, a smooth, gloved hand pressing a finger into your temple. 

“Boo.”

This time, when you screamed, it wasn’t silent.

You were bawling by the time your parents burst through your bedroom door, snot bubbling in your nose and tears leaving salty trails down your cheeks.

Through the cooing questions of ‘what’s wrong honey’ and pats of comfort, you just managed to spot the man watching you with the same grin.

You pointed. “There! Mommy there!”

You could only look in disbelief when your parents turned back to you. The expression on their faces was one you were too accustomed with. The same look they had when you dropped a plate of cookies because they had been too hot and you were impatient. The same look they had when you got frightened of something in a movie and they had to remind you that it wasn’t real. 

The same look they’d had countless times when you told them of monsters in your closet.

“Darling,” Your mom sighed, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “There’s no one there. Do you want to sleep with us tonight?”

You held straight eye contact with the man as he winked, putting a finger to his lips before disappearing.


The second time you met him must have been at least four years later.

You’d been getting ready for school, adjusting yourself in the bathroom. You washed your face, looked up, and there he was in the mirror, looking back.

You shrieked.

The heel of your foot hit the door as you lurched back, and you lost your balance, slamming your head into the wall with a pained grunt.

“Y/N?” The muffled voice of your dad came from somewhere in the house.

“I’m fine!” You yelled back unconsciously, far too occupied, still rubbing your head while your vision spotted.

The man sighed.

“Just as clumsy it seems,” He mused before phasing out of the mirror like it was nothing, looking around your bathroom. A flash of amusement passed through his eyes and you realized in horror a pair of underwear you possessed was hanging off the towel rails. You grabbed it, face burning.

He scrunched up his nose in mock disgust, before his expression went neutral as he rolled his eye. “Please kid. You’re like what, five? Calm down.”

“I am not five,” you bristled, defensive of your age. “I turn ten this year. Ten!” You held up all your fingers, proud of the achievement. Ha!

The man let loose a laugh, that odd one, the hollow scrape of pitch that echoed against the walls. 

“I’m surprised you remember me,” He tilted his head, and the floating top hat followed the movement.

Of course you did.

That night had traumatized you as a kid. You couldn’t begin to remember all the nightmares dreams you’d had about him since then. Always grinning, always behind you, looping his cane around your body at the last moment to pull you into the void.

“I guess,” was all you said. It was a relief to see that you weren’t insane and imagined that as a kid, or at least that you were just forever crazy, even now. 

He hummed, crossing his legs in the air as he invaded your personal space yet again. You tensed.

“I’m not scared o’ you,” You told him, stressing the words in case he didn’t hear you properly. He snorted.

“Says the one scared of make believe monsters in their closet.”

“I-you-” You sputtered. “All children were scared of that at point! I was only a kid!”

He seemed the most amused at this. “I’m pretty sure you’re still a kid, but whatever floats your boat, brat.”

The outright staring competition that took place after that was broken when he cupped his chin in his hand, his eyes lidding.

“Aren’t you late for something?”

You narrowed your eyes at him before jolting, wiping your hands on your skirt and running out of the bathroom. “School!”

He trailed behind you lazily, and you weren’t surprised when your parents didn’t notice the snickering man, flailing upside down in the air beside you in the car.

“Y/N, didn’t I tell you to stop messing with my hair?” Your mom stared at you in the rear view mirror.

“B-But!” You held out your innocent hands but she only sighed in disappointment and turned her eyes back to the road. You shot a glare at the man, who only let a Cheshire grin cross his expression.


He didn’t stop following you after that.

Whether it be at school, or at home, or wherever you went actually, it was like you had a persistent imaginary friend. That’s what you had convinced yourself he was - since no one could see him but you; however as you grew older you started to waver on that theory when the things he did would affect the real world.

(Like that one time he got mad at your fifth grade teacher and splashed her coffee mug all over her blouse with a monotone “oops”.)

You didn’t ask him why he was always around, and to be fair you didn’t want to know. At first he had been a pest, and you had been very adamant on getting him to leave you alone. But as the days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and then to years, you grew worried of the exact opposite. 

When had he left such a permanent stamp on your life? Was it when he saved you from tripping into a ditch that one time in third grade? Or when he gave hell to the guy who had embarrassed you in seventh grade by pretending to like you only for it to be a prank? (The look on his face when an invisible gust of wind knocked him off balance and his bag into the mud, giving him a makeover from the splash will forever make you collapse into giggles.)

“Why did you do it?” You remember asking, mascara running down your face - why did you bother dressing up for him, for this “date”, he was just like the rest, you were an idiot - when you got home that day. The glove wearing psychopath that followed you around did not care the most about you, this you knew from experience and many embarrassing memories. So why, at times, did he make it seem like he did? 

Your imaginary friend only stared at you blankly, making you shiver. He got like this sometimes - where his grinning persona would falter and you got a glimpse at the insanity beneath. There were occasions when it slipped, when he would hurt you and not worry about it - you were not mentioning that knife accident - or when he would just stare into space like a statue. 

This was one of those moments. Your hand was frozen with a baby wipe, in the process of wiping your mascara off while he stared at you with something swirling in that bottomless, pitch black void of his eye. He called you kid all the time, but the look now on his face was unreadable, timeless, as if he had been around for such a long time it was incomprehensible for you, seen things you couldn’t imagine. 

His head tilted, blonde tufts of his hair falling in front of his eye-patch. You blinked and then it was over, whatever had been there was gone and he was grinning like normal.

“Why not?” He rolled his eye, flicking your head so that it clonked painfully into the mirror. You yelped and whirled around to give him a piece of your mind but he was already gone. You rubbed at the spot on your temple that would have been bruising if any of that was real.

Yes, if it was real. You had learned long ago that while the bane of your life could mess with the outside world to a certain degree, he couldn’t actually touch you at all. It was only in your mind that he projected into when he did.

Still, pain he formed in your mind hurt just as much as in real life.

You stared at your reflection, dropping the dirty wipe into the garbage limply.


“Bill.”

“What?” His voice was startled in a way that you had never heard before. 

You blinked. You had gone to take a dip in the pool, and as you floated on the water’s surface, peering up, it had come to you.

“I said, Bill,” you repeated. “I can’t keep calling you ‘imaginary friend’ my whole life.”

He had never given you a name for him, and you in turn, like you always did, never asked. But he had been in your life for way too long, and you needed something to tie him down, something tangible you could finally latch his presence to.

Maybe that’s why he looked at you that way once the word left your lips. Maybe he didn’t want to be tied down.

“Why ‘Bill’?” He asked after a long silence, sitting on top the water’s surface as easily as you were floating.

When you didn’t answer he grew impatient and hooked your ankle with his cane, pulling you closer with a deadly tilt in his expression. “Why. Bill.”

While he didn’t actually pull you to him - again, he couldn’t touch you - the image in your mind of him doing so had distracted you enough that you lost your careful poise and floundered under the surface. You came up spluttering, hair sticking to your face and your mouth.

“What the hell,” You batted the water harshly with your palm, sending a splash at him with an annoyed tick of your eyebrow. 

The water phased right through him. “Don’t make me repeat myself, Y/N.”

You stopped. It was never Y/N. It was always ‘kid’, or some other ridiculous nickname he gave you. Whenever he said your actual name you knew he wasn’t joking around.

“I don’t know,” You rolled your eyes, gesturing to the brick pattern of his shirt. The shirt accompanied with his bow-tie and dapper but messy look over-all somehow just…fit the name perfectly. “It suits you.”

The man eyed you before laughing into a gloved hand. It bordered on the brink that you wondered if he was really okay, but eventually he stopped, shaking his head with a smile that let you know he had some kind of inside joke you weren’t aware of.

“What?” You asked. “Making fun of the name?”

“Not at all,” He mused, snapping the end of his glove onto his wrist, and you pretended you weren’t fascinated by the way the soft material accentuated his skin. “Bill, I like it.”

“Really?” You said, mouth open before you cleared your throat. “I mean, uh, okay.”

“Really,” He clarified, that glint in his eye again showing there was something you were definitely missing before he stretched his arms above his head. 

Just like that he was gone.

You absorbed his absence, going back to floating, the clouds looking to be pieces of taffy in the sky.

Wonder when he’s coming back this time, you wondered absentmindedly. 

Bill - yes, we were sticking with this - was sporadic. Sometimes you went to bed, and he was still there in the morning. Sometimes he followed you around for weeks at a time before he disappeared. But he always did, fading into the air around you like he was never there. 

He could leave and be back in five minutes, or you wouldn’t see him again till the next month. Once he didn’t return for almost a whole year and you wondered if you were finally regaining your sanity, but alas, you found him lounging on your bed when you arrived home from school. 

You always wondered where he was going, but you didn’t bother to ask him. (You were scared, too scared, you never asked him anything) He had a life just like you did, so there was no point.

You made a finger gun with your hand and halfheartedly flicked it to the sky.

“Bang.”

[masterlist]

min yoongi as your boyfriend

if you guys like these, feel free to request the other members! (of any of the 3 groups i write for) 

Taehyung / Hoseok / Jimin / Jungkook

Seventeen / Got7

__

- waking up would be interesting because sometimes he would be too far gone in his slumber but also he may be up working still on his laptop, you never know. 

- when you two are getting ready together (which doesnt happen too often) you do it in silence but he occasionally will reach out an arm and just pat your back or something when you’re brushing your teeth idk

- sometimes you dont know what to wear and yoongi is like “i got this” and picks out a bomb outfit tbh he has a really nice fashion sense and it works so well 

- you guys dont have any of the matching couple stuff but you do have identical leather jackets and they are super cute but not cheesy

- tbh both of your diets are pretty crappy because he never is home in time for a home-cooked meal so there is a lot of nights you order takeout and eat it in front of a bad crime TV show or go out to a fast food restaurant at like 2 a.m. and order a bunch of fries. its fun tho

- he’s the type of boyfriend that’s really subtle with his love. like he knows your order at almost every restaurant and he knows all your clothing sizes and such but he tends to blush when you call him out on it

- “i was not blushing, shut up”

- “yes you were, it was cute" 

- when he’s stuck on a song, he calls you to the studio since you guys live close. you’ll come in and inspire him but you dont usually go home. instead he lets you sit on his lap and 9/10 times you end up falling asleep with his headphones in as he works. it’s v cute and warm

- you really enjoy his voice but he is quiet a lot so you purposely poke at him to get a reaction and he acts annoyed, but he secretly thinks it’s adorable af

- he was a little nervous meeting your family but he pretended like he wasnt so you told your family to give him a little of a hard time at the start for a joke and they did and he was /so/ flustered but a minute later everybody was laughing and giving him hugs but he just glared at you with a murderous look

- he is really supportive and encouraging, but he doesnt push you more than needed. like if your boss is demanding you to do something you absolutely do not want to do, he’ll just be like "yah, dont do it. screw him” but when its something you just arent sure you can do, he’s always there like “there is no reason to be like that, you can do it" like honestly he is the cutest lil motivator

- when it thunderstorms and he’s at the studio he always calls you because you get a little nervous and he will sometimes rap softly or hum or narrate his day and honestly it’s the most comforting thing in the world. 

- when you convince him to cuddle with you its really relaxing because he’s warm and cool at the same time and he always knows how to make you comfortable subconsciously and you feel really safe

- kissing yoongi is hard to describe because sometimes his lips are cold and quick against yours but other times they’re hot and slow and honestly it doesn’t stop there, its different every time

- during the holidays he acts like he’s too “swag” to participate in the corny couple things but you always convince him otherwise. on halloween you always carve pumpkins together and drink apple cider but on christmas you two wear ugly sweaters and bake (terrible) cookies that you leave out over night for “santa” just for the fun of it. he pretends to hate it but he really does enjoy ever second of it

- he’s protective but in a way you dont notice like he gives a hard glare to anybody who looks at you wrong while you arent looking or making sure to walk on the outside when you guys venture out 

- and he always makes sure to stash a granola bar or crackers in your bag because you forget to eat sometimes and people wouldnt expect him to be so thoughtful, but he is  in his head a lot so he has a lot of time to think of such things

- he didnt want to introduce you to the boys for the longest time because you were his and he was secretly a little afraid that you would like the outgoing and affectionate members more than him but you assured him that you were with him and wanted to stay with him

- he wasnt quite reassured because he’s that type of person but when he introduced you to them, you always gravitated back to him which gave him peace so he didn’t have to worry anymore

- when you guys said i love you for the first time it was because you had told a really bad joke but kept giggling and yoongi was just like “you’re so cute, i love you” and then you stopped giggling and stared up at him with disbelief but quickly smiled and hugged him tightly and said i love you back and tbh yoongi was so relieved because he was so in love with you and if you werent he didnt know what to do because he had to protect his “swag” and ya know, pride

- being in a relationship with yoongi would be very calm and comforting and you both were extremely content and very much in love with the other

Hmm, my version of a followforever :my attempt to write about how I would interact with you guys

I am really grateful to meet / follow / talk to anyone of you so I decided to finally make this<3 alot of things has happened, but this year, I have met so many sweethearts, anyone on my dash and who follows me, I want to say thank you <3 before the year ends! ( in like 15 mins .. T_T)

To those who I followed and admired (from afar) ^^:

for those who I admired from a far, it’s like me being your admirer hehe, well, me also dropping by to say hi once in a while and runs away while being embarrassed or shy >//<

Msg for all of you mentioned here (if you read ><): Keep doing you ❤ Love seeing you guys on my dash, also, erm yeah, I am kinda shy though I did send some asks to some of you haha or just I am not close to you guys yet! Oh, some of you are on hiatus, and its okay!:) Just wanna mention you guys here and hope you guys can see this hehe, happy new year loves!

the lovelies are tagged here!:

@06pray @19940124 @2jaepg @aegichannie @alphajeti @artchibition @asvang @b-124a-p-224 @bapanddaejae @bap-ftw @bap-goddess @bapofficial @baprice @bap-time @bbangception @bbcblackjack  @beayootifuljae  @bestabsoluteshitposts @bestabsolutesuperjunior @coalpressed @daehnii @daehdream @daehyunsgiggle @daewhyun @dailydoseofhimchan @dailydoseofjongup @daejaello @danger06 @dreamgukkie @destroyedparadise234 @fae-hyun @fluffyjae @haycle @himchans-eye-dimple @himdaes @holyjongbutt @hye-rim @icedlattejae @infamouskem @itsbap @iwantsushi  @jaemoticon @jocomato @jongup-is-an-enigma @kitty-dae @makeminelime @matoki-project @mooncupp @moondancing04 @mybutterflyfact @onlystraightforjongup @princesskealie @princeyoungjaes @reinbownom @soooldout @swiss-swissmiss @thatcrazedgirlchuck @thediebutterfly @thefroghyungwon @thisisourkingdom @vanillajae @xrainbowsmilex @yooaremydae @yoojaesus @youngjaeappreciationsquad @youngup @zellestial @zeloslegs

To all my followers:

for my followers, just imagine me hugging you all so tightly!!!!! ^^

Msg if you guys read this: Happy New Year sweeties!!!!! Thank you for following me❤ (come talk to me if you want to ^^ ) I noticed those who reblog/likes the posts I made a lot but I am kinda shy to say hi( I will  send asks or follow you all back at one point.. so please don’t be shocked haha) if you guys are reading…. Hi^^ HAPPY NEW YEAR *HUGS*


Now for my surprise

A erm… drabble? Filled with messages for my close mutuals and lovely people I talk to ❤

Got inspired by @onlystraightforjongup to write this ( thank you for writing that cute fic that reference our tumblr blogs hehe ❤ )

This is heavily emphasized again: Erhm, my attempt to write about me and my mutual interactions with each other

Sorry in advance for my erm, writing ….bear with me guys!

Title: Jae Knights

Summary: Anne does a rollcall 

well, it is a short drabble for a reason ;)

I listed the JaeKnights I know . Also special appearance ( yes haha ) by Anna, Zain and Yulin, I portrayed them based on how I know and see them on my dash >< I apologize if its not accurate! 

those who I didn’t know who are JaeKnights, I am so so so sorry! T-T I will do a continuation after I know more of those who are JaeKnights, please come talk to me!!!!!! ^^ ( if you dont mind me doing this or want me to do more of this ><)

*breaths in* here goes!


Keep reading

neighbor! Joshua

(requested by no one but thas okie :))

  • anyone else seeing Josh with like the most aesthetic looking residence ever?
  • like I’m talking succulents and cacti lining the windows
  • and his prized possession his guitar in a corner with the sun’s rays hitting it perfectly
  • and a bookshelf with manga (like those are Joshua’s aesthetics)
  • and a really light open floor concept?
  • so he can see from his kitchen into the dining room and the living room
  • if svt is over he can look out over the probably ensuing chaos and take a moment for it to sink in
  • “I must be the luckiest person in the world, to have twelve amazing friends” (this would be my everything)
  • probably the first to welcome you to the neighborhood with something fancy like tiramisu cake
  • but then says he prefers cookies
  • so he invites you over to his house
  • and the aesthetics hit you like damn
  • “how the hell did your house looking this nice. which interior designer did you have to threaten.”
  • laughs at your joke thats a joke but not really
  • “ha ha no one, but thank you for thinking it’s really that nice.”
  • and we dont kill, im holy, this is a holy place
  • eat vernon came over looking for some food because the landlord almost uninstalled vernon’s kitchen after the last accident
  • so of course what comes around goes around 
  • and so all the cookies are eaten and the cake gets passed along to Wonwoo
  • happily gives you a tour of his place
  • probably has the Bible in a kitchen drawer somewhere 
  • teaches all the neighborhood kids who can sit still how to play guitar
  • starts a mini garage band with Woozi and the kids
  • they’re alright…. if you stand in the next neighborhood with earphones in
  • no but really, somehow they teach the kids how to jam 
  • and it’s freaking amazing
  • has this nice waterfall fountain bc the sounds of running water are really comforting
  • plays anime ost’s and exo in his house
  • “BABY DONT CRYYYY TONIGHTTT”
  • makes a killer cup of tea/coffee (LIKE HOW?!?!?)
  • “joshua i’d invest money for you to open a coffee shop. imagine all the money we’d rack in”
  • probably sings and plays guitar early in the morning
  • and if you have your windows open and strain real hard, you can just hear it
  • hard-core gardener, he and Wonwoo, the garden fairy, are going to plant a forest at this rate
  • imagine him with a straw hat though and long gardening gloves planting flowers in your flower box outside your window while you’re still sleeping
  • the next day it’s like poof magically there are flowers everywhere in the neighborhood
  • everyone’s last minute go-to for babysitting because he’s too nice to say no
  • plus he’s great with kids wink wink
  • gives everyone exactly the kind of gift they wanted for birthdays and end of the year holidays
  • “Shua, I wanted this book, how did you know?”
  • “that album is so hard to find, and you got it vinyl? I’m-”
  • “HOW DID YOU KNOW I WANTED A BUCKET OF CARAMEL CORN?!?!?”
  • when you open your gift your just so touched, almost about to shed tears
  • “JOSHUA THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS SUCCULENT, BLESS YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL!”

Originally posted by jisooosgf

MASTERLIST

~ admin jess & seri

deh comforting you hcs

hi im a whiny ass bitch and my heart hurts so here are some quick and sloppy hcs abt the deh peeps (minus the parents whoops) helping u when u just internally hurt all over so ya enjoy

evan hansen

  • tbh hes prob hurting too but he realizes you havent texted him all day and hes like “?? buddy are you okay” and youre just like “fake it ‘til you make it!” so you give him the ol’ spiel like ‘ya just feel like taking a day to myself’ all that jazz
  • he doesn’t buy it, hes done the same thing. so hes like “ok if u say so” but runs to the supermarket and buys brownies and cookies and funfetti mix and fondue dip and rushes to ur house
  • hes def like the kinda guy whos like “ive always wanted someone to do this for me so might as well start by doing it for someone else” you know? :( poor baby i love him 
  • anyway so you answer the door with sloppy hair and in a onesie and just Not In The Mood but you see him and are like ?????????? whats the kind lil babe doin on my doorstep??
  • you bake funfetti cupcakes together and eat So Much junk food but you eat the fondue with baby carrots to be healthy
  • you both just snuggle platonically in a warm blanket and watch sad movies as an excuse to cry together and its nice and bonding and yall feel closer as friends after it

zoe murphy

  • oh shes so supportive
  • shes mainly there as a shoulder to cry on and to just listen to you. she’ll take you out to eat at ur fav restaurant to make sure you dont hole yourself up and you get out a bit and she’ll go to the mall and just walk around aimlessly 
  • you def go to dairy queen because zoe is a child and gets all excited when they flip the blizzard an- oh my god how do they do that??? how does it break physics??? its, like, liquid it should fall!!!! it never gets old, im tellin ya, every time it mystifies her and her reaction is adorable and just puts a smile on your face
  • go to old record stores and listen to all your favorite music and blast it in the car (you get control of the aux) and just do domestic relaxing things like go to ikea or go grocery shopping etc
  • uhhh thats all i rly got for zoe sorry omg

connor murphy

  • he def just distracts you. he says its because he doesnt wanna hear you complain but its rly because hes bad at shit like that???? he wants to help???? just he doesnt know how???? he was just always the person ppl were trying to help (and failing) so he knows sometimes it’s rly fucking annoying so he just chill abt it
  • he just takes you on long car rides and you listen to nice music. not music thats like punk or pop or whatever. calming and emotion extracting music like will connollys music. ur free to just,,, cry in his car and he doesnt blink twice abt it hes fine with it
  • yall find this empty and serene road and stop to smell the roses a lil bit. maybe taking a small nature walk. yall smoke if ur into that but if ur not then he doesnt, as much as he may want to, bc he knows you wouldnt like it
  • yall can just be numb together

alana beck

  • oh alana is such a sweet angel she would have a full day planned thE NEXT DAY
  • first, build a bear. theres a sale so you each get two. you get your fav pokemon and you both build one another as a build a bear. its a grand time and ur both just happy and youre so happy to be happy
  • next, to an aquarium. yall take your damn time gazing at the mesmerizing fish while holding your bears and you share earbuds and listen to music while laying under the aquarium roof thing, you know?? 
  • and you go to this open field that framed with trees park and make each other flower crowns out of tiny daisies and blow all of those dandelions and make lil wishes and its good, wholesome, and pure

jared kleinman

  • how obvious is it that i want a jared kleinman
  • anyways so he totally helps you out of your lump. he sees you tweet smthn half sad and hes over in ten minutes just to check up. yall dance to the mamma mia soundtrack in the kitchen while making grilled cheese at 3am
  • youre kinda bummed out the whole time esp bc its like late but jared just makes u smile and giggle and you start to forget
  • yall go to an arcade and just play everything and do some lazer tag and yall stick together and kill everyone when youre on the same team but specifically target each other when youre on opposite teams
  • omg and watching movies and just making the dumbest commentary. bc ur not at the theater yall are both free to be obnoxious so u put on hsm2 and fucking belt everything and do alllll the choreography and make stupid yet hilarious comments abt everything as if youve never seen and are some cynical movie reviewers 
  • and jared totally seems like the kind of guy who got a wii at age 8 and never felt like getting another console so yall play mario kart and kirby and wii sports bowling for like 24 straight hours until u nerds both pass out on the couch mid game
  • he just makes you laugh until you forget and thats why jared is The Best and i love him
wanna one!kid au

HENLO I PROMISED THIS AT 8PM BUT IT’S NOW 1AM THE NEXT DAY IM SORRY

before i start just a big big big big big big big big big huge ass thank you to @exojjanggg and @wendyson for helping me w/ this!!! i wouldnt have been able to write it without them lmao

disclaimer: all of them are like 4-11 years old respectively and u act as their babysitter in this !!!!


daniel

  • probably holds their poor pet cat everywhere he goes and the poor lil kitty just lets him 
  • nervously sweats when he has to choose between holding seungwoo’s hand or the cat
  • buddies up with seungwoo whenever he goes anywhere
  • DONT SEPARATE THEM PLEASE
  • IF YOU DO DANIEL WILL CRY
    • “y/n i need 2 go to the washroom !!!” 
    • “ok- wait why are u taking seungwoo with u?” 
    • “ಥ_ಥ” 
    • “oKOK YOU CAN TAKE HIM PLEASE DONT CRY”
  • the type of kid to search blindly for your hand when he’s nervous
  • also giggles when he’s nervous
  • and giggles when he’s not nervous
  • just giggles all the time
  • probably loves u more than he loves his brothers sdfvhbafsd
  • IF HE’S NOT SMILING SOMETHING IS WRONG IN THE UNIVERSE AND SOMEONE NEEDS TO D I E
  • you thought he was gonna be a kid that was really hard to please but really all u needed to do was smile and he melted into the ground
  • doesnt know what to do when people start crying so he just plops his cat in front of them
  • colours so hard he breaks the crayon
  • the first time you babysat for them, he hugged u when u had to leave and thanked u for taking care of them ಥ_ಥ
  • the smollest bunny, likes being picked up but will never admit it bc he’s a ‘big boy’ now

daehwi

  • a ball of !!!! SUNSHINE
  • the first time he met you, he jumped on you and wouldn’t let go of you
  • he’s on your back 24/7 unless it’s nap time ??
  • during snack time u just gotta feed him while he’s on your back
  • always hums a cute song from one of those kiddie shows he watches 
  • vvv well behaved !!!!! just wants to make u happy
  • if he’s not hugging you, he’s hugging jihoon or jisung or anyone really
  • every time u leave he always kisses ur cheek and says goodbye a million times im !!!! crying
  • GRABBY HANDS WHEN HE WANTS TO BE PICKED UP
  • dolphin screams when he’s scared
  • is really bad with names
    • thought your name was brownie for a solid 2 weeks bc u brought all the kids cosmic brownies on ur first day
  • has to hold your hand at all times or else
  • so now u have sidekick daehwi and sidekick daniel + sidesidekick seungwoo 
  • always has money but u never know where he gets it from
  • asks u not to tell anyone
  • you’re too scared to
  • has 0 money sense tho
  • thinks a penny is worth more than paper bills bc they ‘look cooler’
  • slips u a nickel and whispers “4 ur hardwork”
  • crabwalks everywhere

jisung

  • helps u parent the kids even tho he’s like 2 ????
  • sometimes woojin will try to fight jaehwan bc he hate his chocolate and jisung will just sit there and watch them
  • he has his juice box ready with cookies being stuffed into his face and crumbs are falling all over the floor but biNCH !!!! THIS IS S P I C Y
    • daehwi’s probably sweeping the crumbs into his lil hands and dumping it into the trash can
  • he’ll break up every fight unless it’s over some spicy drama™️
  • does a head count 4 u every time u guys go outside
  • but you don’t trust his counting so you count again anyways and he gets all pouty
  • will stop pouting for ice cream
  • ok but 99.9% of the time he’s really responsible 
  • but sometimes he snaps and just
  • slides down the stair railings and into miNHYUN’S ARMS
  • cries when things go wrong
  • competitive as fuck, eomma jisung goes down the fuckin drain as soon as a prize is mentioned
  • pretends to know karate, doesnt know karate 
    • still threatens the kids with karate when they misbehave
  • gets salty when daniel, guanlin, seungwoo, or minhyun stand beside him bc he has to be the tallest one or he’ll >:((((( scream
  • has ur number memorized so sometimes when you’re not babysitting, he’ll call u up and ask if u can take them to the park

jihoon

  • the !!! ACTUAL CUTEST BABY WITH A HEART OF GOLD
  • gives half of his snack away to jinyoung always
  • always hands juice boxes out to everyone else before he gives himself one !!! just !!!! LOVE HIM FOREVER
  • makes sure guanlin doesn’t get lost
  • doesn’t really like being the centre of attention but ends up being it anyway so his brothers have 2 protect him ??
  • like bodyguards but with cute glares and puffing of chests even tho it doesn’t do anything but make them uncomfortable and tired 
  • was rlly shy around u the first time u babysat but probably slyly flirts with u now
  • slips u a piece of his chocolate bar when youre not looking and runs away
  • if u confront him he’ll be all innocent and stuff liKE BOI
    • “jihoon are u flirting with me?”
    • “no !!! ,,, but is it working? will u marry me now?”
  • pouts until he gets what he wants and makes those “hmph!” noises dramatically while crossing his arms over his chest
  • asks you for homework help but ends up asking u for all the answers
  • during nap time he’ll fall off his bed bc he’s That™️ deep of a sleeper and doesnt even stir
  • if jisung is your backup then jihoon is your backup backup
  • if any little thing is wrong he’ll know immediately
  • it’s just those Little Kid Instincts™️
  • actually gets dressed in the dark
  • daniel pretends not to know him in public

seungwoo

  • the coolest™️ kid in school
  • too embarrassed to invite any of his lil friends over for a playdate bc the house is so crowded with 11 kids
  • know everything abt everyone 
  • blackmails them
    • “jisung can i have ur cookie?”
    • “what the heck no !!”
    • “i know u broke mom’s vase”
    • “*nervous sweating* take it”
  • if yall dont have that drinkable yogurt shit he aint gon fuck with u
  • really hardworking and is quiet most of the time until daniel bursts into the room with a foam sword and a paper hat challenging him to a ‘duel’
  • jealous aS HECK WHEN PEOPLE TALK TO HIS BEST FRIENDS
  • if anybody even looks at his brothers or u ? theyre dead give him a pair of kiddy scissors 
  • sips tea from his sippy cup and roasts his brothers with his mom’s big sunglasses
  • can u say tsundere ?
  • pouts when he can’t express his feelings
  • steals food from his brother’s plates
  • refuses to sleep unless daniel is beside him
  • probably eats raw spaghetti noodles 
  • just takes a handful of them and walks around the house eating them
  • likes watching videos w/ u bc that means he can rest his head on your shoulder :’))
  • always slides in front for group pictures and has a permanent ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) face with the occasional ͡° ͜ʖ ͡ – or even the ( ͡°⊖ ͡°)

jaehwan

  • laughs at anything and everything
  • you could trip on the carpet and he’d collapse on the floor laughing
  • no one knows if he blinks or not
  • stares into your soul
  • u thought he was dead the first time u saw him
  • an actual sunshine when he warms up to u !!!
  • threatens to never stop singing until he gets food
  • his one true love,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • challenges daehwi to see who can scream the highest
  • but not before daehwi supplies everyone with earplugs (again, where the actual heck does he get these things ?? no one knows)
  • jaehwan pretends everyone sucks but in reality, loves everyone
  • can u say aNothEr tsundere ??
  • looks like he wants to kill something 24/7
  • squish his cheeks 
  • whenever he’s sad, someone can just pinch his lil cheeks and he’ll start giggling
  • has one heck of a lung capacity 
    • screams so loud people in canada can hear his voice
  • if you ever wanna bake something for everyone don’t ask him for help
  • all he’ll do is throw flour around and place the blame on sungwoon 
  • would trade his brothers over for half a tangerine
  • he doesn’t even like tangerines 
  • sly as hell knows how to get what he wants 
  • THE CUTEST GRINS, HIS EYES JUST CLOSE INTO CRESCENTS AND HIS CHEEKS BECOME 100000% MORE SQUISHY HOW IS THIS KID REAL 
  • listens to all ur gossip
    • “so this girl at school bumped into me and made me drop all my books and she didn’t even apologize!”
    • “:OOOOO WHAT A MEANIE”
    • “RIGHT ????? JAEHWAN U UNDERSTAND ME SO WELL”

woojin

  • scared the fuck out of u the first time u heard him speak
  • u asked for his name and in the deepest voice u’ve ever heard a kid possess, he says “hi im woojin!”
  • squishy cheek squad member #2
  • tries to be cool™️ and tough™️ but looks like a baby who has just come out of the womb
  • when u guys watch ‘scary’ movies, he tries to ‘protect’ u by covering your eyes when the movie starts 
    • ends up getting scared himself and having 2 hold back those tears >:(((( so he can be >:(((( A MAN 4 U
  • gets whatever he wants by bustin out those puppy eyes
    • like !!! who allowed his eyes 2 be so cute nd shiny ????? sue him
  • slaps a hand over jaehwan’s mouth when he starts to sing 
  • looks like he’s tired all the time but could jump someone if u asked
  • the definition of extra
  • sprawls across the floor dramatically only to ask “yo have u seen my teddy bear”
  • one time he got scolded by his teacher for scaring a classmate but really it was just because his aura is just like that and u best believe u roasted that teacher the next day 
  • when y’all walk in public and he sees a doggo he starts vibrating and poking u without taking his eyes off the dog 
    • “y/n-”
    • “give me a sec woojin i have to help sungwoon”
    • “y/n-”
    • “woojin just-”
    • “Y/N THERE’S A DOGGO”
  • eats angrily like the food hurt his family or smth 
  • drinks angrily too 
  • can probably down a caprisun in 0.001 seconds 
  • pretends not to like the kitty but you’ve caught him cuddling it and he begged u not to tell
  • says well known sayings wrong but no one wants to correct him
  • says the most ridiculous things with the straightest face
    • “y/n if i eat this old cracker do u think i’ll get superpowers”
    • “y/n daniel said that if i run really fast into the wall i’ll get superspeed do u think i should try it”

guanlin

  • THE SHYEST BABY
  • instead of holding onto your hand he’ll hold onto your shirt and let u drag him everywhere 
  • bites his nails when he’s nervous
  • so like all the time
  • istg this boi probably thinks aliens are out to get him
  • before nap time u always have to reassure him that no, aliens indeed are not going to abduct him in his sleep
  • if yall run out of banana milk be sure to catch urselves at guanlin’s funeral bc he’ll cry so hard he turns into a prune
  • THE ACTUAL SWEETEST BABY
  • for school he had an assignment where he had to draw a picture of someone he admired and one day he plopped down in front of u and was like “y/n can i draw u for school !!” and uR HEART JUST COLLAPSED
  • smol laughs that make his brothers go “!!! OH MY GOD HE’S A L I V E”
  • gives u all the spiciest™️ tea
    • “hey y/n,,,, did u hear,,,,,,,,,,,”
    • “hear what?”
    • “jisung broke mom’s vase but :|||| u didnt hear it from me,,,,,,,,”
  • snitches get stitches but not guanlin bc no one ever suspects guanlin
  • has 2 help his bros reach tol shelves for the good™️ candy
  • gets to sit in big bro jinyoung’s lap even tho like,,,,,,, jinyoung cant see anything except guanlin’s back
  • he’s the only kid out of everyone that thinks logically but is so easily persuaded because he’s smol and looks up to his big bros a lot :(((
    • “GUANLIN LET’S JUMP OFF THE COUCH AND FLY”
    • “jihoon, i dont think that’s possible-”
    • “SUPERMAN CAN FLY WHY CAN’T WE”
    • “,,,,,,,,,,,,,, OK LET’S DO IT”
  • he probably has a crush on u let’s be real
    • fights jihoon 4 ur love but very subtly 
    • probably picked u a flower for valentine’s day 
  • confused most of the time
    • doesnt know what’s going on but gummy smiles nervously
  • he has a closet full of hats with those plastic propellers on top u know what i’m talking abt

minhyun

  • asks u to listen to him sing oH MY GOSH
  • when you guys go the park he always asks u to make a flower crown for him out of flowers he’s picked
  • one time he made a paper crown 4 u and was all like: “bc ur such a princess and princesses deserve crowns”
  • fights jisung for the mom position
  • acts like he hates when u hug him but secretly screams inside and explodes
  • complains when sungwoon holds his hand but never lets him go
  • loves helping u in the kitchen when u make them snacks !!!! does anything he can with his tiny lil hands 2 help !!!!!
  • most likely just grabs as many ingredients as he can and brings them to u
  • KEEPS BANDAIDS IN HIS POCKETS AT ALL TIMES JUST IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS ONE
  • enforces the ‘buddy system’ more than u do tbh
  • loves pokemon more than he loves his brothers 
    • hisses at u if u disrupt his pokemon catching session 
  • makes signs for his brothers when they have competitions or smth and screams the loudest 4 them
  • gets roasted often 
  • goes into (。・_・。) mode when left alone
  • please don’t leave him alone
  • actually the clingiest being alive, has to hold your hand until he falls asleep or else he’ll die
  • nags his bros to clean up 4 themselves and gets roasted >:(((
  • one time u took the kids to an amusement park (big mistake btw) and minhyun had to get a pic with every mascot and hug the life out of them 
  • just wants 2 have a good day and not be attacked™️ by his family
  • remembers everything u tell him which is a gift and a curse
    • he buys ur favourite snacks when he’s at the grocery store with his parents :’))
    • but he also remembers the time u promised to take them out to eat after u forgot him at the park
    • never forgets never forgives

jinyoung

  • has a biting issue 
    • bites people when he’s nervous 
    • or just for fun
    • one time u caught him biting jihoon and jihoon just looked u dead in the eye and said “this is normal”
  • really shy, pls praise him
  • just tell him he’s a smart boi or that his singing voice is nice and he’ll be happy for the next year
  • LOOKS UP 2 U A LOT BC U ALWAYS HELP HIM WITH HOMEWORK
  • unsure abt everything don’t ask him what ice cream flavour he wants, just get him what jihoon gets
  • always trails behind jihoon like a lil puppy
  • almost trips over their cat 28 times a day
  • questions if he really exists and if anything matters and makes u go “woah dude ur like 2”
  • nibbles on his food instead of properly eating it
  • he’s like the kids in horror movies that stare off behind you like something’s about to attack u
    • but really he just stared at the wall behind you for so long his vision blurred and he thought that was cool smh
  • convinces u to give him extra food during snack time just by smiling at u
  • is the referee for daniel vs seungwoo battles, has a whistle and everything 
    • jinyoung: *blows whistle*
    • ogniel: ??? what’s up yo
    • jinyoung: daniel wouldnt share his ice cream with me the other day so seungwoo automatically wins good job hyung (✿◠‿◠)
  • people think he’s really nice but in reality he’s too shy to say no akshakjs
  • classmate: can i have ur milk
    • jinyoung: *nervously sweats* uh,,,,
    • woojin: NO U CANNOT HAVE HIS MILK LEAVE HIM ALONE
  • everybody is apart of the protect jinyoung club™

sungwoon

  • easily excited 
  • show him something new and watch him screech
  • gets jealous easily and gets all >:/// 
  • sharing ?? what’s that sorry not in sungwoon’s vocabulary 
  • one time he mumbled “it’s high noon” in his sleep and u highkey considered quitting the job
  • cries the hardest when an animal dies in a movie 
  • has a sad face as his resting face so ur always concerned 
    • “sungwoon are u ok ??”
    • “ya i’m just thinking abt what we’re having for dinner tonight :))”
    • “,,,,,,,,”
  • sings his words 
    • says it’s for ‘vocal practice’
  • eats anything u give to him
  • fell in love with u on your first day when u gave them all brownies
  • demands 2 be carried so now u have to worry abt daehwi AND sungwoon falling off ur back/out of ur arms
  • eats everything with a fork
  • like he probably eats pizza with a fork
  • has a fidget spinner, u can’t look him in the eye when he has it with him
  • can always be found with his face smushed up against someone’s shoulder
  • wears bucket hats 
  • i’m just putting that out there 
  • whenever u babysit you either never see him at all or he’s always in your sight
  • hides in the same exact place every time y'all play hide and seek and he wonders how he’s always caught first 
  • u can always tell when he’s tired when he walks into a wall bc his eyes were half-closed

wanna one (as a whole)

  • their parents told them they were really musically gifted and that they all liked singing and rapping and stuff like that so u expected them to always be doing so
  • but no
  • all they do is scream and do girl group dance moves around the house
  • daehwi and jisung have fights over who does the moves better
    • “hyung they don’t dance like that!”
    • “yes they do!”
    • “no ur ugly!”
    • “UR UGLY”
  • daily dance offs to fight for who gets what 
    • “I WANT THE MILK U GOT IT LAST TIME”
    • “DANCE BATTLE ME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW U- U- JERK !!”
    • “:OOOOO”
  • guanlin just sits down next to u with banana milk and watches the entire fiesta unfold
  • when yall go to the playground u best believe theyre all gonna ask u to push them on the swings
  • except jihoon and jinyoung who attempt to fucking climb the tallest slide from the side bars
  • u run out of money immediately when the ice cream truck comes
  • they all buy the most expensive things but u cant resist them bc theyre just so cute
  • the younger ones always ask u to read them bedtime stories im :’))
  • all of them try to play with your hair at the same time and i dont know abt u but i dont think having 11 kids trying to braid ur hair is a good idea??
  • THEYRE ALL SO SHADY WITH EACH OTHER
  • when it’s ur birthday they INSIST that they bake smth for u
    • which ends in all the eggs being broken and the cat covered in cake batter 
    • but it’s the effort that counts :’)))
    • in the end they settle for banana milk and a cookie that they had to ask guanlin to get bc it was on the top shelf
  • all these kids are art hoes
    • asks if they can stay at the park a lil longer so they can see the sunset dsfvhsbjh
  • uncalled forehead/wrist flicking that end in battles to the death 
  • constant sibling rivalry BUT in the end, they all love each other to death and will always have each other’s backs ಥ⌣ಥ
father + husband!park woojin

summary: what would having park woojin as a father and husband be like? 

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE NON-IDOL/AU AS ASKED BUT I FORGOT ABOUT IT BC I COULDNT HELP BUT THINK OF WANNA ONE OH MY GOD SO IM SO SORRY :( DONT ATTACK ME BC OF WOOJINS AGE OR ANYTHING BUT THIS WAS REQUESTED AND TOO LONG ENJOY

  • i think woojin would b a great dad honestly and a husband
  • his proposal would be super cheesy. he’d have some cameras around but its pretty private
  • its the cutest thing ever
  • he’d be an aMAzing husband
  • treats u right
  • there are some arguments in between about like jealous n stuff
  • since i think woojins a pretty jealous cutie pie
  • but there wont be quite a lot
  • he knows how to treat u and his kids right!!
  • tbh the genes would probs be mainly from him sorrybut
  • like maybe one of his kids having his snaggletooth?? CUTE
  • one of them having his rapping skills yes
  • and duh,
  • HIS DANCING SKILLLSSSS
  • you’d have a talented family
  • kinda runs around the house
  • probably would have a pet
  • his kids love their hyungs/uncles/oppas ??? lol
  • would get jealous over them lol
  • he’d take his wife imma just put ‘you’ lol and kids to some behind the scenes
  • sometimes you dont tag along to photoshoots n stuff“where’s y/n?” daniel asks
    “she didnt want to come. she didnt want to know the spoilers” woojin says
    “i see- OOF! hi little one,” daniel feels a kid smash on his broad back
  • sometimes you dont want to bc spOILERRRRS
  • everyone in wanna one is a great uncle lmfao?
  • THEY LOVE THEIR UNCLE ONG
  • ong makes ur kids laugh so much they could probably die
  • “whos ur favourite uncle?” wanna one members gather around
  • “uncle ong!” ur kids say in union
  • woojin laughs
  • he’d be very caring, keeping an eye on his kids or he’d ask a staff member
  • “thats right” cocky ong says “ah u all are so cute! come give ur uncle ong  a hug!”
  • but tbh all the kids would probably like all their uncles but ong is lowkey #1 in their hearts lol
  • SO
  • what happens around the house?
  • obviously the wanna one members come around. lowkey just for the kids tho
  • the kids are fuckin terrified of jaehwans laugh like one time jaehwan was chasing them and laughing lol
  • and ur daughter was like “dad!!! tHERES A PSYCHO IN THE HOUSE!! MUMJSDHRHCH”
  • they love daehwis hair so much
  • “kekkeke,” your daughter laughs as she plays with daehwis hair
  • obvs they love ong bc hes so funny
  • ong tells ur kids jokes and then they pass it on to u and woojin
  • and ur like
  • “WHO TOLD YOU THAT???”
  • “uNCLE ONG! ITS FUNNY RIGHT!!”
  • they live for minhyuns looks like they always touch his face lmfao
  • when u and woojin are on a date or something u leave them with their fave uncles and they adore jisung so much bc hes like their next mum 
  • jisung: shall we go out for dinner??
  • ur kids: H*CK YEAH
  • ur kids love jihoon. so fucking much. they make jihoon do nae maeum soge jeojang 25/8
  • ur daughter is probably the one who has a crush on jihoon
  • “jihoon oppa! do u have abs???”
  • insert daniel giggling in the background
  • jihoon gets shy and says yes until ur daughter lifts up his shirt
  • your son(s) aim to be as sweggy as guanlin, so they look up to him very much
  • “u-uncle guanlin!! am i $weggy yet???”
  • jinyoung often gives ur children piggybacks
  • AND THEY LOVE IT
  • “uncle jinyoung!!! piggyback??”
  • jinyoungs on the floor as he just gave them one each, breathing heavily, “ah…”
  • now, to daniel
  • they like to go to daniels place bc yknow, cats
  • “uncle daniel!!! dye ur hair blue!!”
  • “okay cutie.” daniel pinches their cheeks
  • whenever u and woojin have to let ur children stay at their place
  • and they like to snuggle on sungwoon and make him sing them to sleep
  • ITS THE MOST ADORABLEST THING EVER
  • woojin takes care of u a lot ok
  • if ur sick he makes sure that youre eyed on 24/7
  • the sweetest husband ever :’)
  • like woojin might not be experienced but he definitely learned some advice from jisung mum
  • if it was sickness he had no idea about jisung and google are his first priorities lol
  • the kids tend to hug u and always say: “get better mum! fighting!”
  • the kids love playing wanna one on tv
  • probably would do their greeting
  • “daddy!! teach me ur greeting!”
  • “you do this: all i wanna do, wanna one!”
  • they do it along with him and its sUPER CUTE
  • you find woojin having the cutest moments with ur children, like when they make cookies and theyre like messing up the entire thing and woojins like “ah! dont do that love!”
  • and he does the same with you, hes so thankful for u as his wife 
  • like playing uno and when u lose ur children go boo but then one of ur kids are like “dont say that to mummy! it hurts her feelings!”
  • you laugh bc of how cute
  • woojin just smiles widely bc Hes dying loWkey
  • Ok this is gonna get a bit angsty:
  • obviously being married will have some arguments
  • but i guess the arguments would probably involve the children like their grades, hanging with other people and not acknowledging the other person whos feeling neglected, jealousy
  • maybe his kids would feel mad at him too
  • and you as well 
  • like coming home extremely late, which is likely woojin since you only do day shifts
  • “daddy.. you weren’t at dinner,” his son says
  • “im sorry..” he knows that you’re upset bc you cant be seen
  • “where’s your mum?”
  • “shes upstairs”
  • woojins a little bit upset
  • “are you mad at me?” he asks his son
  • “a little bit.. but we’ll sort it out”
  • if its a big reason to fight your children would find out immediately bc of the shouting and they all begin to cry
  • and you and woojin turn to them
  • “g-go back upstairs, munchkins,” you say
  • “n-no.. why are you and dad fighting?” your daughter bursts into tears, “we dont like you fighting like this..”
  • “i-its just.. a couple thing.. dont worry, okay?” woojin says, “we’re just… overwhelmed..”
  • your daughter runs away to go upstairs crying and you and woojin feel guilty, you couldnt help but shed some tears
  • “please sort it out..” your son sighs before going upstairs too
  • ok, so when its you that makes woojin upset:
  • sometimes you’re a little bit stressed and woojin wants to calm you down but you kinda snap at him
  • “y/n, calm down-”
  • “how can i calm down, woojin?! this is so important to me and if i don’t do it right-”
  • you stare at him, your gaze softening
  • “im s..sorry i uh..”
  • “i get it. you need time alone.” he walks to the door and slams the door behind you
  • ANYWAYS
  • just know that woojin will always be there
  • he loves u and his children very much
  • will actually do anything his children says
  • he loves them so much
  • sometimes when ur children have bad nightmares u all snuggle in one bed
  • so cute
  • HOPE U LIKED THISJDHCHCHC
  • supposed to be non idol smh me smh me smh me kill me
  • AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ANYWAYS THANK UF OR READINGthis wa sso long jshdhhc 
  • ALSO just saying just bc i find gifs on google does not mean that i steal these gifs! i dont credit gif owners but just know the credits go to them :)

bad-romance-ships  asked:

I just read your ask thing about Izaya and I'm super interested in what you had to say about Izaya in fanfiction! I'm not sure if you've written fanfic and if you have please point me to it, but if not do you have any how would you write him? Any ideas you're willing to share?

Oh, hey! That was really kind of you, to have an interest on that! First of all, no, I dont write fanfic. English is not my native language and I’m pretty awkward at it. =/

But I think you basically asked me if I had Izaya headcanons and how I would write him and here they go!

 - Izaya probably has read Russian literature, since he needed some use for that language other than to throw small provocations at Simon. He can probably talk really seriously about Russian Literature, the literary divergences that stems from it, the philosophy imbued on it. Its a heavy subject, full of contradictions and I can see Izaya having a fun time with it. Folks, Russian literature is The Real Shit, I know very little about it but its fun. (and depressing but ya know thats a whole other thing)

- I really, really love all of the potential that Izaya has with his little sisters, like??? It used to surprised me how little of it was explored on fandom and mostly on fanfics. I understand that everybody has their little headcanons about that, but I have no doubt those are siblings who deeply hurted each other and, yet, still profoundly love each other.

- Think about Orihara Twins sticking their noses on Shizuo/Izaya’s relationship. Think about them asking out loud Completely Innapropriate Questions, like “So did you guys had sex yet?? Kuru-nee and I were talking, right Kuru-nee?? And we got to the conclusion Shizuo-san definitely needs to get laid” and making Izaya Want To Jump from the window.

- LIke, my take is that he tries, but he cant mantain his composure At All in front of them and thats why I think they would have so much potential. I think this is why they lack scenes on canon; we inevitably learn too much about Izaya everytime the Orihara Siblings interact. Sad this isnt explored on fanfics, regardless of the plot.

- Its canon that he cares deeply about them and its canons he also cares about Shinra. And its not like this kind of thing isnt explored on fanfics, but??? Its always like “Izaya is so bitter and lonely, he’s trash hahahaha”, for once I would like to see or read some situation in which Shinra and Izaya would confront each other about the shitty friends they were for each other, and with the admission that Shinra is Absolute Trash too. And like, it doesnt have to be emotional. Just a step on their mutual character development.

- Guys I love Shinra but he is. He is Trash on Izaya’s level. Super weird this is never adressed too?? Narita himself indirectly addresses a bunch of times, but playing with the fact is Shinra’s relationship to Celty that makes him so likeable. But Shinra would be Just As Lonely if it wasnt for Celty (People werent on that hot pot because they were friends with thim, my buddy. LIke, how come??)

- And Izaya and Shinra would be, you know, rational about it?? And sarcastic little shits but they wouldnt get emotional over it. This is interesting too, their unspoken camaraderie.I really would like to read they being able to slowly rely on each other.

- People usually ignore the DRRR!! Characters background as, ya know, japanese people that live in Ikebukuro, and they forget they can talk about this?? Not talking about traditional aspects, of course. Just… 

- Is Izaya good at arcade games?? If Shizuo and Izaya are together, whos better at videogames and at getting prizes out of the claw crane machines?? (We see Chikage and his girlfriends having a scene close to one of those stores, at some point in the novels) Who get super competitive playing silly nintendo games?? (Both, its both of them). Which one of them reads mangas the most, and buys it every week?? Who are their favorite characters?? Do they have a favorite series, a favorite TV Show?? (We know Celty has fave tv shows, as an example) How come Ive never read a fanfic in which Kadota, Chikage, Shinra, Shizuo and Izaya embarass themselves at the Karaoke?? How would an Actual Date between Shizuo and Izaya be, in Ikebukuro?? Why must you people fail me like this??

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Glory Glade P1

 MOVIE: MAZE RUNNER
COUPLE: NEWT X READER (PRIMARILY) + READER X REST OF GLADE ALMOST
RATING: SSSSSUUUUPPPPEEEERRR SSSSSMMMMMUUUUTTT!!!!!!!

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Taste of Hell

Originally posted by kotaros

A/N: Servamp (Mahiru/Kuro, lee Kuro) -  16. “What the hell is that/this?!” - lol I had no idea what to write and let myself be inspired by the available GIFs. Result: this super badly written fic yooo x”D.

Summary: Mahiru asks Kuro to taste some cookies, which escalates. 

Word Count: 1118


“KUROoooo!” Kuro stirred a little in his sleep and uncurled from his comfy position on Mahiru’s bed. Now what

Mahiru yelling at him had become a regular thing, so he already started to wonder if he had dirtied the room again, broken something or if this wasn’t a time to be allowed to take a nap on Mahiru’s bed (his Eve was a talent at making up his mind, like, not). 

Instead, Mahiru’s yell was followed by the thump thump thump sounds of his foot steps before the door opened wildly, and the sweet scent of cookies entered the room. Kuro’s nose was as if it suddenly took control over his whole body, because now he was suddenly sitting up straight on his knees, sniffing with his eyes still closed.

“Kuro!” Mahiru stomped towards the bed and landed a big plate of cookies on it. Kuro had now his eyes open and rubbed the sleep out of them while he gazed at the cookies.

“Taste these. It’s for a school project,” Mahiru ordered, and looking at the cookies Kuro shrugged since they just looked like plain cookies.

“Fine,” he sighed, picking one of them and taking a bite. He then gulped and held the half that remained in his hand apart so he could look at the contents of the cookie: a green liquid dripped out of it and he suddenly clamped a hand over his mouth.

“What the hell is this?!” were the muffled words he could force out, and he spit out as much as he could and coughed. Mahiru laughed proudly and threw his head back while jabbing a finger at poor Kuro.

“It worked! You fell for it. You see, I’m making Taste-of-hell cookies for our school festival’s cosplay prank café! This one was wasabi by the way.” Kuro grabbed his throat and coughed. That cookie was absolutely disgusting.

“I’ve got other ones too, try these,” Mahiru pushed the other cookies towards him, but Kuro immediately gulped and backed away on the bed until his back hit the wall.

“No thanks,” he said, still suffering from the after effects of Mahiru’s monster cookie, but Mahiru smirked and followed him down onto the bed, shoving the cookies towards him.

“Yes Kurooo. You always eat anything you like in this household don’t you? This, you’re not gonna refuse either,” Mahiru said, wiggling his eyebrows. Kuro responded by heavily shaking his head.

“Come on Kuro. Say ahhhh~” One of the cookies that looked just like innocent as the previous one got lifted from the plate and Mahiru pressed it against Kuro’s lips, but the vampire kept his lips squeezed together.

“Hmmmmr!” Kuro shook his head in protest.

“Open that mouth of yours,” Mahiru ordered playfully and teasingly, and just when Kuro wanted to shake his head again he suddenly felt Mahiru’s free hand slip towards his side and sneak in a few squeezes. He jolted and his mouth opened wide, accompanied by loud laughter.

“HAha-fffhf!” The cookie was forced into his mouth and Kuro automatically bit down on it. He didn’t even know what he was tasting, but hell it was gross.

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Little brother! WinkDeep

Note: I got a request to write a little brother Baejin scenario (like 2 weeks ago, im so sorry ) but I had a Jihoon one halfway written out too and since I felt like they were both too short to post separately i’ll post it like this.

Originally posted by jaejoongisbae

Jinyoung

  • The sweetest lil brother 
  • honestly so sweet, sometimes you question if you’re even related
  • only a few years younger than you so you played together a lot
  • when he was born, you always wanted to help take care of him
  • he was just so cute and when your mom used to pick you up from preschool with baby jinyoung in tow, you’d always try to show him off ‘this is my baby brother, he’s 3 years old and really nice and he’s my favorite person now’
  • a strong sibling bond
  • though he does tend to get you in trouble a lot
  • but not out of spite, he’s just a good boy, honest to a fault
  • he’ll get caught taking a cookie before dinner and he’ll say it because he saw you taking some earlier so he thought it was okay
  • which leads to you getting in trouble for ‘setting a bad example’ and being sent to bed earlier
  • and sure you’re always mad when it happens
  • But jinyoung, that sweet boy, comes into your room and apologizes by giving you his favorite stuff animal and pleading to forgive him with tears in his eyes
  • and you can’t stay mad at him for long, you hate when he’s sad
  • now that’s he’s older, he’s learned to keep his mouth shut a bit more but he’ll slip from time to time
  • but again you always forgive him because he’s just so pitiful when he’s upset, he looks better when he’s happy
  • it’s one of your, unofficial duties, to make sure this boy is always happy
  • sometimes you’ll here rumors in school about him because of his looks
  • 'he looks so angry and mysterious all the time’ ’ I heard he’s mean and in a gang, i’d stay away’ 'he’s not in a gang, he hangs out with that sunshine boy from LA and Park 'Jeojang’'Maybe he’s just doesn’t like being here?? Cause Honestly same’ 'Resting bitch face on point’
  • You never say anything to correct people because it’s really funny the things people will make up but if they’re being rude you’re always quick to shut that shit down
  • but he’s just a shy boy that takes some time being comfortable with people
  • and whenever you see him in the hallway you have to stop and tell him 'people think you’re angry and in a gang, Jinyoung. Please smile a lil more’
  • 'If I was in a gang I wouldn’t be hanging out with him’ points over to Daehwi, who’s got colorful pins attached to his uniform 'Hey! I can be tough and angry looking too, you guys don’t know me!’
  • (having Daehwi as your honorary little brother because he’s around so often )
  • basically the ideal little brother

Originally posted by parkswoojin

Jihoon

  • too-cool-for-you little brother 
  • definitely got most of the charms in the family 
  • everyone loves him 
  • and you’re just like ????? Why? I don’t get it? 
  • doesn’t want to be seen with you in public 
  • not because he hates you he just wants to be his own person and not feel like he’s being babysat all the time by his older sibling 
  • also, one time one of his friends called you cute and he never wants to here that ever again 
  • but he really just wants to be his own person 
  • hates being compared to you, or anyone else 
  • one time, during middle school he got a teacher that used to have you as a student and she was kept going on about how nice you were and all your accomplishments And how she’s glad to have ‘y/n’s little brother in her class’ 
  • and Jihoon’s response was 'Yeah I’m well aware of everything y/n has done cause I live with them and I’d appreciate if you just call me Jihoon, not 'y/n’s little brother’ because that’s not my identity’ 
  • he got a call home for the sass and when he was getting lectured that night, you threw him a quick thumbs up behind your parents back cause it was pretty cool what he did 
  • not really any sibling rivalry but you two tend to bicker a lot, about anything 
  • both just too stubborn, that’s family for ya 
  • 'Jihoon! What did I tell you about using my body wash!’ 
  • 'Well, I ran out of mine and you know that the bar soap makes my skin dry, y/n’
  • 'I don’t care about your dry skin, you used the rest of it so you buy me more’ ,, 'I used the rest of it, not all of it. I’ll give you a dollar so leave me alone’ 
  • while he has this cool image to him, you live with him, you know the truth 
  • he’s always dancing around the house 
  • and not like good dancing, he just flails into the room, headphones on, limbs everywhere, probably throws finger guns at you then grabs a drink and dances out of the room 
  • a little weirdo 
  • always wants to fight, you’ll be minding your own business and suddenly a pillow hits your head and your like 'wtff??’ And he’s just smirking pillow in hand and ready to go 
  • of course you retaliate, you can’t ever let him win
  • usually ends with one of you being sat on by the other basking in victory or a broken picture frame or vase 
  • you usually end up in trouble for it though cause you’re 'the oldest’ and should be 'more responsible’ and Jihoon usually 'turns on’ the aegyo whenever he gets in trouble 
  • (honestly who can stay mad at jeojang boy?)
  • it sucks but you know you can exploit him and his aegyo when you need to 
  • 'hey y/n can I get a bite of your sandwich?’ 
  • 'Why of course you can my favorite little brother-’ 'I’m your only little brother’ 'if you do the thing’ 
  • 'why do you always do this, I’m not doin-’ 'I’ll give you the rest of my sandwich’ 
  • cue Jihoon pulling out his best aeygo and you with your phone recording the whole thing 'Wow~ the things my brother does for food, What a beggar.. I’m posting this’ 
  • and then you run out of the room before he can catch you and post the video on Instagram
  • he promises to get you back one day and you won’t admit it but you’re a little nervous as to what he might do to you in return, (watch out for those geminis) 
  • the type of siblings that say 'I wish I was an only child’ but don’t really mean it cause without each other life would be pretty dull