i would come anywhere to see a turtle

its been fucking years and i can’t believe i’m about to shitpost about naruto but here we go kakagai post-series headcanons lets get into it:

  • kakashi and gai are old disabled loving ninjas who end up living under one roof and thats just a fact, a plethora of ninken, a plethora of fucking turtles, just dogs and turtles all the way down
  • de-facto babysitters for…… literally anyone and everyone, where would ur children be safer, go ahead and tell me i’ll wait 2 see if u can come up with anything more convincing than Proficiently Murderous Grandpas
  • not 2 say their rivalry goes anywhere because they’re honestly probs competing till their last breath lbr
  • “RIVAL, TODAY WE WILL SEE WHO IS THE MOST PROFICIENT AT CHANGING BABY DIAPERS!!” “u can have this one gai n o thanks…….” “PREPOSTEROUS!!”
  • their most heated competition is actually trying 2 come up with something the dingdang children will eat that is also a balanced meal like gai overshoots and goes FULL GOURMET
  • “i HAVE CRAFTED AN IMMACULATE LUNCH SURELY I AM THE WINNER”
  • but kakashi is craftier and u kno what i mean one of those parents thats like “if i blend the broccoli in2 the cheddar the shitty little fucks won’t know there’s veggies in their grilled cheese” shit making veggie portions tiny and sneaking them in bcs for fucks sake this is a man that continually encouraged naruto to get some damn fruits and vegetables in his diet during the entirety of his tutelage u think he hasn’t picked up Tips and Tricks by now????
  • kakashi wins, obviously.
  • gai is devastated but i mean……… gai’s the same man who thinks super-spicy curry udon is the peak of cuisine (which it is) and Tiny Child Tastebuds aren’t cut out for that
  • gai loudly and proudly proclaiming that kakashi is his rival until the end of his days
  • gai says “rival” like he’d say “life-partner”/“lover” @ this point honestly they’re in it forever
  • none of the kids they babysit want husbands, wives or s/o’s when they grow up they all want rivals it looks way more fun
  • naruto is concerned
  • “my rivalry cost me a DAMN ARM”
  • unbelievable.