i would change so much if i did this now

pinkyena  asked:

Maya, I just wanted to say that it has been so amazing watching your art grow and improve over the years!! You're an amazing artist and one of my biggest inspirations. Keep up the good work!! ♡♡♡

aww thanks! i was actually just thinking about how much my work has changed, even since school…

like, when i painted this in college i was SO proud of it and i thought it was, like, the best thing i would ever do

or like this thing, which i did like 3 years ago. i was like MAN, this is it, this is the pinnacle of my art, probably

and this picture is already a year old, which is WILD. and again i was like okay now THIS is the best thing i will ever draw, i must be done now

and spoilers, i’ve drawn some pretty cool stuff since then, tho i can’t post most of it yet, but here are some previews

so, i noticed that my human bill turned a year old this month (ayy same birth-month!) so I thought it would be funny and interesting to compare him to the first real drawing I ever made of him (theres more but they are all sketches and TERRIBLE) and OH BOY CHECK THIS OUT the guy changed a lot! I love it tho, it’s a good change and he went through a lot of that but I’m super at peace with where he is right now. I really wanna draw my AU as a comic now.

Answering Dump

I’m going to start cleaning up my ask bin with small posts like this. I can’t answer all of them because that would be too much and create lots of clutter. So here’s the start of me catching up on the backlog of asks:

I took this test a couple years ago and I got ISTJ. I just took it right now and I got ISTP. Have years of experiences changed me? Have I matured as a person? Or did I just take the test wrong? i dunno

Oh yeah I’ve heard of webtoons. I’ve thought about posting some comics there as well but nothing has come of it yet. If I ever decide to jump on that I’ll be sure to make a post about it.

…In a way. If you can guess which one you get a prize.

I use ClipStudio to make my comics. I draw these comics on a cintiq 13 inch drawing tablet. I’ll make a FAQ page or something to clear things like this up. Maybe I’ll do a process video too in the future who knows.

this is how it is now. you jumped into my life and i had no control until suddenly i did. you were everything i wanted but it was just an illusion. we were tangled in the sheets from dusk to dawn and i would have given you so much of me.

this is how it is now. we were so beautiful for such a short amount of time. we were beautiful until you gave up. immaturity is a blockade of its own.

this is how it is now. things change. clocks don’t stop ticking.

i watch your mutual friends rotate from you to me. i watch you avoid my existence. it feels like knives.

i watch you smile when you are with them. i watch you laugh. you are not thinking of me. it feels like ice.

i have been through this before. i think about you out of habit. you’re the one at every intersection, you’re the one in the back of my head. you are painful.

but i have also been through the recovery. it will stop. the pain will stop. the memories will become vague. space and silence will fill the awkward voids and the unplanned glances.

one day you will smile at me in the hallway and it will not sting anymore. my sunshine will radiate. you will regret letting me go, i will be long gone, but we will be civil. we will be at peace. it will not hurt.

time. we just have the give it time

Them Used to Seeing Her in Casual but then Seeing Her in Glam: EXO


“I mean… Hot damn…”


“That dress… Looks gorgeous on you. You should dress up like that more often.”


“I knew you’d look good in glam. Now it’s time for us to win an award for being the best-looking couple of the century.”



“Um, no. Whoever said this outfit is okay was wrong. I won’t be able to leave your side in fear of someone jumping you.”


“Come closer. Lemme make sure this is actually the (Y/N) that I know.”


“You look beautiful, (Y/N).”


Would start laughing because, “Um, excuse me, how the hell did you change so much?”.


“Okay but who’re you and where’s (Y/N)?”

He didn’t need to apologise for anything. It’s his work, his own artistic expression and creativity but the fact that he did - it shows how much he values Starlights’ opinion on things. The most depressing thing is that he changed his own artwork for the sake of others so that it would be deemed as ‘acceptable’.

He said he’d make better music for us in the future and I just want to tell him that he has done AMAZING so far. Now I can’t imagine the amount of nervousness he has in him, considering he was already anxious about his own debut. 

Starlights, please support him as much as you can.


We didn’t have that many Pearl episodes this season, but what we got was good enough to last, goddamn.

For the first time since the series started, we had some actual great development for her. She’s starting to move on truly. She will never forget Rose, never get over what happened, but now she can at least raise her head, look forward and start forging her own path.

I’ve talked before about how I truly think that Pearl’s determination and willpower is the strongest amongs all the gems. Pearl is a one gem army, she taught herself so many things that she would have never been able to experience on her own, in my mind she grew and changed leagues more than Rose did. Yes, I do think that Pearl is a more remarkable person and symbol of strenght and growth than the actual leader of the rebellion.

Not much to say, I’m extremely happy she can be friends with Greg now and can move on from her past and fears. I absolutely love Pearl and I can’t wait to see what the future has for her.

So almost a year ago I did my first Undertale themed piece! (It was also the first ever piece I did my pencils traditionally and the colors digitally!)
Back then, I LOVED this piece SO MUCH. I was SO PROUD lol. I had really put in quite the amount of effort into it, and thought ‘oh wow. this is the best piece ever.’

And then fast forward just shy of a year…I hated it!
I could’t stand it. I would look at this piece compared to some of my others and just deflate. It was lacking in composition and my coloring had changed.
Now don’t get me wrong, it is still very close to my heart! To those that have prints of this piece, THANK YOU <3 And to my friend who purchased the original, You’re the bomb!

It was just time for me to grow as an artist, and try out some new things I had learned.
(Sounds like a break up LOL)

But anyway. The speed paint video of this goes live tomorrow morning at 11AM, but I really wanted to show what progress looks like!
The past couple weeks I have felt very defeated and angsty against my artwork. I felt as if I was making no progress…I wasn’t any good, and that my art just wasn’t cutting it. However after getting slapped in the face by WalkingMelons ( a couple times) I started to come out of my funk.

I decided to redo this piece just to see how far I had come in a little under a year. And seeing the two pieces side by side makes me smile, knowing that there is always room to grow! We are only limited by what we think we can and can’t do. If you asked me a year ago if I ever thought I would be drawing like what I am now, I would think NO WAY!
And so now I am more than excited to see where I will be NEXT YEAR! 

anonymous asked:

What the hell happened to the Lapis Lazuli who hated the Crystal Gems so much, who yelled "did you even wonder who I used to be" and smashed them with her giant water hand, who told Steven that he shouldn't trust them and even wanted that he come with her? Nobody can tell me that the Lapis we see now is the same as back in season one. What happened to her hate for the CG's? What happened to her personality? What even happened to her look? What is this character even now?

I’ve never gotten a feel for her personality in general :/ like obviously trauma would change it but we need to actually talk about it and stuff bc at this point we’re just headcanoning it tbh

Back then Amethyst loved the power she got from the fusion, and she didn’t care that she and Garnet almost killed Pearl, at least until they unfused.

But she is a different gem now, she’s changed a lot since we started the show and I’m actually confident that if they were to form Sugilite again they would form at least a stable fusion.

“I see a tower built out of my mistakes, and it all comes crashing down.”


And now she’s asking a very similar question Greg did back in We Need to Talk. What can I do? For you to forgive me, for me to be something else in your eyes than a spaced out kid.

What can Amethyst do?


anonymous asked:

Who's more in love Dan!2009 or Dan! 2017? And why

2017 dan. i feel like it’s just growing and growing. 

getting serious

dan has changed so much from 2009 till now, in a good way. we’ve seen him become more confident, more comfortable with himself and give less fucks about things that would’ve bothered young dan in several ways. i’ve only been watching dan and phil for about 4 months, but the change is not difficult to see when you watch dan’s older videos and his videos today. whether he’s in a romantic relationship with phil or not, the bond between them seem to have grown a lot stronger. young dan had more difficulty showing his feelings, showing that he cared for phil (even as a best friend), while today he’s not afraid to show that he actually cares for him and doesn’t give a fuck if he sounds like the phil trash that he is. he looks so much happier these days. even though he still puts on his ‘relatable emo’ self, i don’t think he’s as miserable as he try to make it seem at times. he’s happy and phil is a big contributor to that. phil brought him out of his loneliness, became the true friend he’d always wanted and encouraged him to keep making videos. if it wasn’t for phil, dan would’ve probably given up youtube, who knows. i don’t even want to imagine what his life would’ve looked like if phil wasn’t in it.

We’re meeting for coffee.
“You always have everything so to/get/her!” I am thinking about how my makeup is 3 days old; so far.

“Nothing ever gets you down!!” The last time I took a bath, I held my breath under the water just to see how long I would have left if I tried a similar thing in the wide, blue, unforgiving ocean, being rocked back and forth and taken up and down. The water is still an abusive lover now kissing me gently now bashing my face against the wall, not pacified by my tears. I’m trying to take showers instead.

“I mean, gosh, it’s just school and life are so much for someone like me. I wish I was born more like you.” I had a fight with my kitchen scale earlier because it needed to have its batteries changed right around the same time as I did too.

“There’s nothing that can stop you it’s like you don’t even care what comes your way!” My heart has become the most rational organ in my system but I guess someone had to step up when they saw how broken my brain is; it’s busy building a wall up to keep the last time I felt, actually felt anything, contained; the wall is so strong Mr Gorbachev himself would approve, I’m still begging him to tear it down.

“How do you do it?! What’s your secret?” The last time I got a check up my doctor asked how well I slept and I lied, I said, “ 6 to 8 hours, give or take” there was a lot to take off but it’s her own fault for leaving the ammunition to my trigger-mouth in a pamphlet on a coffee table, no lock or key in sight, it’s not safe for us pistol girls out here. I know all the correct answers even though none of them are right; my nightmares happen so often that my dreams are on hold. I can’t sleep my way out of my mind’s fog. I am nauseous and tired and successful and drained and aged. When I leave the hospital, I love and hurt; to a bystander I must look like I just gave birth but the secret is: I did, I keep giving birth to stillborn versions myself hoping one of us lives.

I smile, and respond,

“It’s just the coffee”.

—  B. Damani || Coffee

Acid rain, when Abel looked up at Cain
We began the weeping and wailing
A hurried high from pestilence pills and pride
It’s a shame, we could have gone sailing
But heaven knows
Heaven knows everything

A sorta remake(?) of an older drawing I did back when the Stan twins were just a theory. Anyway, this song reminded me of the original mystery twins and I’ve always hoped the Stan twin theory would be true. So now that it’s confirmed, here’s a comic to celebrate. YES! (I changed the lyrics a bit btw)

Also, I was thinking. Since this show loves parallels so much, what if the ending of Not What He Seems was another parallel. Two siblings are reunited.. but at the same time, another pair is torn apart?

How much my life has changed since 2001

(Sidenote: 2001 was fifteen years ago and I don’t know how that happened.)

Via @bujnik​. Let’s see how much people’s lives have changed.

I was given 2001.

Then – Still driving my parents’ 1993 grey Corsica. Or maybe not. I totalled it in 2000 or 2001, so it’s possible we’d moved on to a little green Neon by then.  
Now - 2014 Kia Rondo. The sexiest white station wagon you ever did see. She answers to Hjørdis, and occasionally Sir Mix-A-Lot, because Baby Got Back. 

Then - still in university, working summers as an assistant in the HR department at the company that I would later work at for thirteen years AS the HR department, until it became clear that their business priorities and my desire for good mental health were mutually exclusive
Now – part-time receptionist at a wonderful physio clinic with nice people and work that I can walk away from at the end of the day and not think about until my next shift

Then - 21 
Now - 36

Then - With two friends in our apartment at university, and at my parents’ house over the summer
Now – In a great little house in our “old” neighbourhood two thousand kilometres from where I grew up

Then - Cats Buster and Hunter, and a neurotic border collie named Grady 
Now - Cats Sam and Simon, and the dog that made me love dogs, Ruby 

Then - The Pig’s Ear Tavern (the Piggy) in Peterborough. Very recently closed (or soon to be closed) after being sold to developers, which has made a lot of my university friends very, very sad.
Now – My living room, generally. Occasionally the bathtub, or other people’s living rooms. 

Then - Whoa. Just had an intense flashback to Thursday nights with my roommates, when we made brownie pudding cake during the first commercial break of CSI so that it was ready when ER started at 10:00. 
Now - Yes. All the TV. Mainly Netflix. Also, can someone tell me why I can’t quit Grey’s Anatomy? Because that shit is awful, and I just can’t not watch. 

Then - Yeah, in that carefree early twenties kind of way, where $30 was plenty for groceries, your friends lived in the very next room, and the biggest stressor was whatever paper you were working on at the time
Now - You know, despite being occasionally stressed by adult things, in the grand scheme of it all, I live a pretty charmed life. Yeah, happy definitely fits. 

Then - A “some day” thought
Now - One strong, independent, opinionated lady in the making

❤ and I’ll give you a year

Brace yourselves...another fic is coming...

That’s right. :D :D :D :D :D

I know I promised some fluff for my ‘Lost Paladins’ series - and that nice cute fun fic will be coming soon - but I’ve also been working on another installment…one that I thought I should give you a teeny tiny preview of. I wrote this scene last night and though it may still go through some changes, I really, really, REALLY wanted to share it with you all. :-) So, here it is.

*trailer music plays*

Red was snarling in stubborn, rebellious protest now, and Aurelis knew he couldn’t talk the Lion down from taking direct action much longer. So, Aurelis did what any average person would do when losing a shouting match with a tempermental Lion who was about to undermine an entire rescue operation.

He lost his freaking mind.

“STARS ABOVE, THAT IS IT!!” Aurelis howled, hopping up and down with frustration. He marched right up to the control panel and glared at what he thought might be the Red Lion’s eyes. “AS THE CASTLE’S OFFICIAL HEALER, I DEMAND THAT YOU SHOW SOME SHRED OF SELF-CONTROL!!”

Red roared back at him then, and Aurelis was almost glad for this direct confrontation of their wills. It distracted them both from the very disturbing mental image of one of their friends at Haggar’s mercy.


Aurelis made a worried, exasperated sound through his nose and stormed back towards the passenger section as he shouted his answer over his shoulder. It seemed that Red was also glad for this outlet for his worry and fear. Good, good, at least screaming at the top of their lungs could distract them for a few seconds at a time.  “YES! YES I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW! HOW?!”

Red’s reply was so loud, it very well could have shattered the silence of a black hole.


Don’t have a clue what I’m talking about? That’s okay! Here’s a link to my ‘Lost Paladins’ series on Archive of Our Own. Feel free to check it out - this author loves feedback! :-) http://archiveofourown.org/users/Rangergirl3/series

@havetoomanyfandoms @teenage-mutant-angsty-zukos @maychorian @butteredonions @cinnamonrollshiro 

Sentence Starters based on stuff I’ve yelled at my computer 

“Where did you go?”

“I hate you so much right now.” 

“Don’t you dare die on me.” 

“You’re so spoiled.” 

“Fucking hell…” 

“Should I really be doing this right now?” 

“No! NO!” 

“I couldn’t save it….” 

“Having troubles with the printer I see?” 

“Honestly, if you just cooperated with me, things would go so much smoother.” 

“I’m already going to hell, so I might as well.” 

“Ha… Haha… HAHAHAHAHA!” 

“I don’t want windows 10.” 

“Change anything while I’m in the bathroom, and you die.” 

“I’m too old for this shit.” 

“I’m to young for this shit.” 

“What the hell are you doing?” 

“I did not give you premission to do that.” 

“I love you.” 

“I hate you!”

“This is so bad…” 

“You’re the best.” 

“Five minutes left untill deadline, and you decide to give up on me now? After everything we’ve been trough?”

“Thank you for nothing.” 

“I shall now proceed to dumping a bucket of orange juice over my head.” 

“Don’t you ever do that again.” 

Rose felt more like Rose this time. This girl is really strong and I love her. 
Talking about Berseria, nice.
Sorey’s still in pain. Where’s my ball of sunshine?
Mikleo stands a little closer than other seraphim wow, are we supposed to be happy everytime he touches him or what? He still doesn’t do much, and Sorey still doesn’t care about him much. They should like…show us how important they’re are for each other and how Mikleo is important to the story, (I’m so salty that this isn’t Mikleo who convinced Rose to make a squire pact with Sorey, this scene in game was so signifanct and valid) because now the epilouge doesn’t make sense and I’m literally scared that they will change the ending. Game didin’t tell us squires would die, did it? I guess they wanted to add EVEN MORE DRAMATURGY! Sorey was so slow with making decision. I know it’s hard, but SOREY. He belevies in decisions people make and are confident about.
What about “other seraphim” they are…just doing what Sorey says and standing in the background. Zero personalities. Lailah isn’t saying Sorey that what he want to do isn’t the best idea. Dezel just destroying everything on his way. (well, he actually saved us from more unnecessary bickering) and Edna…DO SOMETHING SNARKY, PLS I’m not a fan of being mean for fun. BUT NOW I BEG FOR HER TROLLING, SHE’S SO EMPTY. 
To be honest I’m getting sick of Alisha. I know, many people love her and it’s ok, but I feel like they want to force her everywhere in the anime and she’s literally princess in trouble everythime she appears. Zestiria is so dark now I miss funny and warm moments with the crew.
Even if I liked some moments in this episode I still end up with disappointment, weariness and bitter feelings in general. I know this anime is lost cause, but I’ll be still watching it to the end. Maybe I’m  a masochist, but I really want to know what is going on in all “canonical material” about Zestiria. 

marsmyname  asked:

Love your undercut hairstyle! ❤ Im planning on cutting mine like that, but I have a few questions before I do it, because I believe it would be a major change for me. Can you help me? Is it hard to maintain the style? Did you ever regreted cutting your hair like that? Now that you are growing it out, do you find it extremly difficult? 🤓 Would you recommed it? Thank you so much! And sorry if I have some grammar mistakes, English is not My first language 😬

Thank you! I’ll try and do my best. 

1) It’s not hard at all, just had to buzz my sides every 4-5 weeks or so. That’s it.

2) I don’t regret it at all. I’m currently growing it out (not because I didn’t like it) but just to change things up again. And I miss it every day. I’m sure I’ll go back to it in the future. 

3) I don’t find it terribly difficult. The first 2 months were the hardest and I’m now feeling A LOT better. So once you get through that, it’s not so bad. 

4) For me, that haircut was extremely liberating. I’ve never felt so sexy and empowered. But it’s completely your decision! Hair grows back, remember that. 

I hope I helped! xo