And now I would like you all to consider the turian boyfriend™ meeting Shepards high school ex. You know, the douchy kind that loves mansplaining and belittling.
Imagine Shepard getting a message on her private terminal that he wants to catch up. Garrus calibrating slightly slower than usual, listening to her read it out. And oh * pulls out rifle * that guy *pulls out pistol * the one you went to the thing with * pulls out shotgun * prom, right? * puts on armor * Sure, I’d love to meet him. * packs a grenade * maybe have dinner together and * packs another grenade * you know, talk. * packs third grenade * He must be such a nice fellow *packs normandy thanix cannon*