i would catch a grenade for you

And now I would like you all to consider the turian boyfriend™ meeting Shepards high school ex. You know, the douchy kind that loves mansplaining and belittling.

Imagine Shepard getting a message on her private terminal that he wants to catch up. Garrus calibrating slightly slower than usual, listening to her read it out. And oh * pulls out rifle * that guy *pulls out pistol * the one you went to the thing with * pulls out shotgun * prom, right? * puts on armor * Sure, I’d love to meet him. * packs a grenade * maybe have dinner together and * packs another grenade * you know, talk. * packs third grenade * He must be such a nice fellow *packs normandy thanix cannon*

BTS as Kingsman (Yoongi)

Originally posted by sugasuite

-Okay before i even start yoongi in a suit

-YOONGI IN A SUIT

-If thats not enough to make you want to pounce on  this man then what is

-Okay okay okay min yoongi

-Codename: Percival

-Yoongi was just a normal guy when he was recruited into kingsman like he had a 9-5 job and a small apartment and he just lived his life

-When he was recruited he was always quiet and distanced himself from the other trainees

-Not because he wasnt good at making friends or anything

-IT WAS BECAUSE HE KNEW HE WAS GONNA GET PICKED TO BECOME THE NEW PERCIVAL AND GETTING TO KNOW THE OTHERs WAS NO USE BECAUSE THEY WERE GONNA GET ELIMINATED ANYWAY

-Like during training he always volunteered to go first and passed with flying colors and nobody expected that from a regular guy so when it was announced that he was top of the class everyone is just like ‘wth lol who even is he’

-WHEN THEY GET TO CHOOSE their doggo companions since hes top of the class he gets to go first and everyone expects him to choose the german shepherd or the rottweiler or even the doberman but when yoongi grabs the little brown toy poodle everyone laughs but yoongi doesnt care because LOOK AT HIS CUTE SON

-Yoongi justifies his choice by telling the others that he doesnt need a dog to back him up because he can take an enemy out blindfolded with one hand behind his back (he’s done it before)

-So when they get down to the last two and yoongi is faced with having to shoot his son holly or leave the kingsman hes in a state of inner turmoil

-Like thats his son

-But also kingsman

-But yoongi makes a decision and he clears his mind and hes holding this gun in his hand and his heart is beating so fast and he points the gun and his hand is on the trigger AND SUDDENLY YOONGI IS POINTING THE GUN AT ARTHUR!!!!!

-The room is so quiet bc there is yoongi standing with the barrel of his gun pointed at arthur and arthur is just standing there with his arms crossed completely calm.

-Yoongi is now smirking and arthur is like ’umm what’ then yoongi points the gun at holly and pulls the trigger and BANG

-Its a blank

-Yoongi tosses the gun at arthur and picks up holly while shaking his head because ‘you could have at least reacted to having a gun pointed in your face if you wanted to trick me. When you didnt react i knew it was a blank.’

-And arthur is dumbfounded bc did he just get outsmarted by a trainee lol

-Okay okay so anyway Yoongi is given Percivals spot

-Weapon of choice: cigarette lighter hand grenades

-You will never catch him without one

-I have this headcanon that yoongi is really good at negotiating and gaining control of situations hes not in control of so here we go

-Min yoongi a whole meal walks into this airport and of course the kingsman have their own planes and stuff but today he isnt percival hes min yoongi a man trying to go on vacation with his cute fluffball son.

-But i also feel like yoongi would get lost easily in a huge airport so here we have lost baby yoongs like yeah i can climb through the vents in the lotte world tower and find my exact target but this airport is new so im lost??

-He somehow wanders down a hall with a few doors and theres some god awful screaming and sobbing and yoongis like should i check that out or get an americano

-Americano it is

-Insert a loud cry for help and suddenly yoongi is bursting through the door he thinks he heard the cry of help from

-BEHOLD you, an ordinary citizen tied up to a chair with tears streaming down your face and 4 men surrounding you

-Yoongi is confused. What is going on. Why are you being adultnapped. Who. what. When. where. Why.

-Your eyes widen because fuck your screaming actually worked and you didnt think youd get this far but oh fuck he is a single ordinary hot man and these 4 guys are ripped now you might have someones blood on your hands

-Yoongi looks down at holly because hes growling and he gets a lil distracted because look at his son being all tough but oh shit if hes growling that means there are drugs in this room somewhere oh no there are bad guys right back to the situation at hand

-These 4 guys are suddenly like umm lol i guess we have to kill this guy because hes seen our faces and-

-‘HELP ME THEY WANT ME TO SMUGGLE DRUGS AND THEY THREATENED TO KILL ME IF I DIDNT AGREE OR SUCCEED’ you take your chances bc maybe this guy can help you

-Like maybe hes quick on his feet and he can bolt out of this room and find some police or maybe he can fight a little bit-

-‘Oh come on guys do you really think the boss is going to think she has the looks for being a drug mule? Shes not pretty enough to get passed tsa’ what a twist of events. This man you thought was here to help is also a bad guy??!!!!

-The other 4 guys are also confused because who the fuck is this guy

-Yoongi knows these guys. Hes seen their file before arthur accidentally deleted it. Theyre from a wanted drug cartel notorious for their body count and ruthless methods

-Hes pretty sure he knows enough to talk his way out of this or at least get this girl to safety before fucking shit up

-Youre crying again because you thought you were going to somehow get out of this but now it looks like youre being doomed to a sad life full of drug smuggling and sadness

-IN YOONGIS HEAD ‘oh no she is sad i must make her not sad i must help her i must protect her and make sure she grows up happy and healthy oh my gosh pls dont hate me’

-He lets holly’s leash go and the smol doggo runs over to you and just sits at your feet quietly waiting for his dads signal bc theyre gonna get you out of here

-‘I bet my dog could get more drugs on a plane than she can. How about your four find a decent girl while i dispose of this one and i wont tell the boss about your almost royal screw up.’

-These guys literally still dont know whats even going on but somehow they believe yoongi?  Hes just that good. Like this is his specialty. Hes got control now.

-YOU SOB EVEN MORE BECAUSE THIS GUY IS GOING TO DISPOSE OF YOU

-The other guys are cutting you loose and they pull you up roughly and your legs feel like jelly bc this is it youre dead.

-You take literal baby steps over to yoongi and holly is trailing behind you after every step and wow why do bad things happen to good people. You pay taxes. You volunteer your time at animal shelters. You donate to charity. You work in a hospital making sick people not sick where did you go wrong.

-Yoongi grabs hollys leash off the floor and grips onto your arm tightly but not enough to hurt you it looks worse than it feels really.

-‘Why dont you guys take a quick smoke break before heading back out there. Hopefully we wont have to get rid of any other girls today. Pick a good one this time.’ yoongi just casually tosses a pack of cigarettes and a lighter at these guys before pulling you and holly out fo the room

-THOSE GUYS ARE STILL JUST NOT SURE OF WHATS GOING ON but theyve got cigarettes and a lighter so why not

-As soon as you guys are out of the room yoongi is literally sprinting away while dragging you like dashi run run run girl

-You are completely lost like why does this guy seem so panicked. Why are you running with him. Why IS HE SO HOT. when is he gonna kill you.

-You guys exit that hall somehow and yoongi is just mumbling things and trying to catch his breath.

-But then he starts whispering to you

-‘Okay theres going to be an explosion in a few seconds because that lighter i gave them was actually a hand grenade so just act the way you normally would during an explosion. Dont look suspicious’

-You just ???????

-Umm what.

-Yoongi has caught his breath and hes holding hollys leash in one hand and walking next to you casually.

-He just kinda intertwines your hands together before he begins a causal conversation but youre still flabbergasted but he needs you to be calm and casual and not suspicious

-But also When is the death part

-Like is he gonna kill you or

-‘So what did you want to do first when we land?’

-You dont get a chance to respond because umm

-Theres an explosion

-Just like he said

-And yoongi turns in that general direction with a shocked expression on his face like the other people in the airport and you do the same bc he told you to

-Everyone is panicking and running bc there was an explosion in the airport umm

-Yoongi is pulling you away in the middle of all the chaos and he pulls out a phone before punching in a few numbers and holding the phone to his ear

-‘Galahad, its Percival, i need you to delete the last 30 minutes of Incheon’s security footage. All of them. Also tell arthur the somin cartel has been kidnapping girls from airports to use as mule’s theyre getting bold. We’ll have to deal with them soon. Thanks.’

-UMMMMM

-‘What kind of a name is percival?What just happened?’

-Yoongis still holding your hand and you kind of want an explanation as to whats going on but his hand is also surprisingly soft and warm like you want to kiss these hands but they can also choke you bc look at those veins man DAMN

-‘So long story short i saved your life and now you get to continue living your normal life’

-He lets your hand go reluctantly bc youre beautiful and he just wants to protect you but he knows he cant because hes a kingsman and even his presence is a threat to you but oh god what he would give to make sure no tears ever slipped out of your beautiful eyes and no sobs ever left your kissable looking lips

-And youre looking at him with the cutest little pout and puppy dog eyes and hIS HEARt almost beats STRAIGHT OUTTA HIS CHEST

-‘Can i at least pay you back for saving my life? Do you like coffee?’

-He hesitates a little and shakes his head before trying to walk away but holly is literally refusing to leave your side so yoongi agrees

-And thats kinda how you started dating a kingsman bc he saved your life and everything

-But like

-‘You know i almost opted to get an americano rather than saving you’


A/N: okay so these are all completely unedited bc i just wrote them like in the moment type thing.

Also this was supposed to post earlier but somehow it ended up at 11 pm instead of 1 but when i noticed it didnt post i posted it sorry.

anonymous asked:

Support!reader who has a crush on cuties of your choice that are of a different class, but they're nervous about making a move because "oh I'm just a medic. I'm not nearly as impressive as they are"

(Let’s go withhh…Hanzo, D.Va, and Junkrat!)

Hanzo

Genji quietly watched as you watched Hanzo, waiting for the moment when you’d get up and actually say something to him.

“It has been a long time since someone has expressed romantic interest in my brother,” he pointed out.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” you sighed wistfully.

“And he often looks lonely after missions,” he continued.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” you mumbled, eyes still glued to the archer.

“…So!” Genji finally groaned.

“So what?” you snapped, finally turning to him.

“Go talk to him!”

“T-Talk to him?” you stuttered nervously, “No way, th-there’s no way he’d want to talk to me. Especially since he’s busy with those targets…”

“He’s always busy with targets,” Genji rolled his eyes from behind his visor, “He doesn’t need the extra practice, he just does it when he’s lonely or troubled,”

“It’s nice to watch…” you smirked a little, watching as his muscular arms drew back the bow.

“[Name!]” Genji brought you back to reality, “Why don’t you go talk to him. You’ve had this crush on him since you came to Overwatch, but you never make a move!”

“Well that’s because–I mean–he’s a sharpshooter, a sniper, a strong warrior of Overwatch! And I’m just a support unit…I hop in and out of fights to help people, relying on my teammates to protect my sorry butt…”

Genji sighed, “So you’re intimidated? Is that it?”

“…Yeah…” you admitted.

“[Name], I’m an offense unit,” he said bluntly, “You weren’t afraid to approach me,”

“Th-this is different,” you stammered, “I didn’t have a crush on you,”

“[Name], none of us think you’re a useless addition to the team. We all value our support units, especially you,” Genji explained softly, “Nobody would ever belittle you for your support status, especially Hanzo. I think he admires those who can save lives so easily,”

You shifted uncomfortably as you thought it over. It was just that grim, dead-set face Hanzo always had. He seemed like he never had time for anyone much less little support units.

“We are defined by who we are, not what we are,” Genji concluded, sounding just as zen as his master.

Taking a deep breathe, you nodded, “Ok, you’re right! I need to stop telling myself I’m not good enough! I-I just…need to go over to him…a-and say something,”

“That’s the spirit!” Genji cheered.

“Well go on,” he urged.

“I can’t. My feet feel like they’re stuck!” you whimpered nervously.

“Just get out there already!” Genji laughed, giving you a nudge towards his brother.

Stumbling forward, you watched the archer hit another bull’s-eye, pulling another arrow to his bow. Cautiously, you came up next to him, watching him release the arrow and hit another target in the center.

“Hello, [Name],” he said gruffly, still totally concentrated on his work, “Is there something you need?”

He looked so scary and powerful! Why were you trying to waste his time?! Aaagh! Nervously, you glanced back towards Genji for some kind of help. The cyborg just gave a little “go on” gesture.

“A-Actually…” you mumbled anxiously, “I–uh–came to watch your target practice a-and um take notes! Yeah, my…my aim really i-isn’t very good so um I mean yours is! So I thought I-I could learn a thing or–uh–two from you…I mean as long as that doesn’t bother you, you know…”

Hanzo suddenly stopped midway from grabbing another arrow. Then his eyes slowly turned toward you, looking more surprised than usual.

“You…want me to teach you?” he asked with a hopeful look in his eye.

“Ummm…” you glanced back to Genji who was nodding furiously and giving you a thumbs-up, “Y-Yes! If it’s not too much trouble!”

“Of course not,” Hanzo shook his head, picking up a practice bow and handing it to you, “I’ve noticed your aim in battle. I was hoping you would try to fix it,”

You cringed. Were you really that bad at hitting your targets?

“But I am glad you sought me out to help you,” he gave a slight smile, “I was afraid you had been avoiding me,”

“Avoiding? Heh, nah o-of course not!” you giggled.

“Support units seem to be so nervous around me,” he said in a ponderous tone, “I was beginning to worry that I had been frightening you away…”

“No, no, it’s not th-that!” you tried to tell him, “I’m shy by nature, I promise!”

He tapped his finger to his chin a few moments before saying, “Very well, let us begin with your stance,”

Your whole face grew hot as Hanzo suddenly stepped behind you, wrapping his arms around yours and guiding your hands into the right positions. Then he nudged your foot with his and instructed you to tighten your grip. You glanced back at Genji again, who looked like he was laughing from behind his visor.

D.Va

You always admired D.Va so much. She fearlessly flew into every fight with her meka, disrupting the enemy’s ranks and wreaking havoc. Then just when they thought they had taken down her meka, she’d shout “nerf this!” and blow them all to smithereens! You thought she was simply amazing and almost made you wish that you were a tank unit. But you were just a support unit, sticking back with the offense units and keeping them supplied with shields and heals.

But one day, during a really rough battle, D.Va started calling on her comm link for extra backup: things like more firepower, defense, and a support unit to keep her going. No other supports responded, so you were the one to answer her call and move to the front lines. It was scary as all hell up there, explosions and bullets flying, yet Hana kept her cool like it was another day at the arcade!

“Thanks for coming to help guys! Their snipers are really annoying but their offense won’t let me get close to them! Could you guys keep their offense busy?” she explained, then turned to you, “And [Name], could you pocket heal me? My meka’s gonna fall apart without your heals!”

“U-Uh–yes! Yes ma’am!” you piped almost like a robot.

“Hee hee!!” Hana snorted, “Who’s ma’am? I’m D.Va, silly!”

You felt a little blush form on your face as she laughed her bubbly laugh.

“R-Right, D.Va…” you muttered.

“Let’s mooove out!” she cheered excitedly, taking off with her boosters.

Somehow you were able to keep up, steadily healing her as she disrupted the snipers, disarming them and booping them out of their nests. It was really hard at times; sometimes her meka’s health would go dangerously low even as you healed her all you could. But luckily, her meka never got wrecked…well until she wrecked it herself.

“Snipers eliminated!” she reported happily into her comm link, then looked back to you, “Watch this, [Name]!”

With that, she boosted her meka into the air, ejecting at the last second and sending it into self-destruct mode. It turned into a big ball of light, soaring through the air and eventually landing in the enemy base with a KABOOM! You watched awe-struck as the whole sky lit up and the base flew into a thousand pieces.

“Woohoo! Bonus points!” Hana cheered.

“That was amazing…” you breathed.

“Yeah, I guess it was,” she shrugged, “But I couldn’t have done it without you, [Name]. Your healing was what really kept me going!”

You blushed again, staring down at your shoes bashfully, “I mean, I wasn’t that great. Nothing different from what I usually do…”

“Hey!” she grinned, taking you by the hand and leading you back to your own base, “Do you wanna hang out sometime?”

“H…Hang out?” you couldn’t believe someone as famous and strong as D.Va was asking you to “hang out!”

“Uh-huh, you know that thing that people do when they wanna spend more time with each other?” she chuckled at you.

Your expression slowly dropped, remembering your place.

“But…you’re a tank unit, and I’m a support unit…” you mumbled.

“Yeah? Why is that important?” she shrugged.

“Because I’m just a support unit,” you admitted, “Don’t you want to hang out with someone cooler like another tank or attack unit?”

“Nope!” she smiled, “I wanna hang out with you, [Name]! Units don’t matter! They’re just dumb, stuffy titles,”

With that she slung an arm over your shoulder and pulled you close, making you stiffen up. You were so close to her! She smelled like bubblegum and new car…

“So what do you want to do? We could play video games or go to the arcade or go shopping–ooh! Do you like ice cream? I know this great place that gives me free…”

She’d be talking all the way back to base.

Junkrat

“Oi! I need healin’!” “Where’s my heals?” “Oi! Healer, over here!”

Why did you have to fall for a guy who treated supports like servants? Why did he only ever call you “Healer” or “Doc?” He was so tall and lanky, yet muscle-y at the same time, with a cute laugh and an outgoing attitude. Junkrat was everything you looked for in a guy, despite your friends saying you were crazy for it.

But you never once made a move. It always seemed like an arsonist would never have any time for a support unit, especially when he seemed to think they were so unimportant to the team. A lot of the other support units would get bad at him for his rude tone around him. They’d punish him with a smack on the head or a “no heal” policy for at least one battle. Some supports had given up on healing him altogether–he was the one who’d accidentally drop grenades on himself, after all.

But you just couldn’t keep yourself from healing him. It meant you got to admire him up close…even if you never said anything to him. Sometimes he’d even give you a little “Thanks, mate!” But as far as you were concerned, Jamison would never like a support unit. It wasn’t until the end of one of your missions that you were proven wrong.

“Hooly dooly, that was some fight!” Junkrat marveled at the wreckage as his hair smoked.

“No kidding,” you huffed as you tried to catch your breath, “I thought for sure we were gonna lose the point,”

“Same! We were the only ones on it!” he laughed, “I kept waitin’ for them to punt me off, but you kept me goin’!”

“Oh, yeah whatever,” you shrugged as you flopped down on the ground exhausted, “Well you did all the hard work,”

“Me? You were the one dodgin’ all those bullets and givin’ me all them buffs!” he pointed out as he sat down next to you, “I wouldn’t’ve been able to hold the point if it weren’t for you!”

A small blush crept its way onto your face, but you quickly shook your head and waved your hand dismissively.

“No, I wouldn’t have survived it if it weren’t for you blowing up anyone who came close to me.”

Seriously. Any flanker who’d try to sneak up on you would get a “Not my healer, you bitch!” from Junkrat.

“Well at least we can admit we work well together, eh?” he chuckled.

“Sure…” you mumbled bashfully, “Why not?”

“Eh c’mon, why ya hidin’ yer face now?” he smirked as he took your chin and gently guided it toward him.

“I-I’m not!” you squeaked in shock.

You hadn’t expected him to do that! His fingers felt all sooty and calloused…

“Yeah you are!” he sang.

“Sh-shut up…” you pouted, pulling away.

“Oi, why can’t ya just accept the complement?” he whined.

You crossed your arms, “Because I know you don’t mean it. You don’t care about support units in the slightest, Jamison,”

“The hell I do!” he retorted, “Well, only the good ones, that is,”

You gave him a glare and he put up his hands in defense, “I get it, I get it, you support-y types don’t like me. But you’re one of the only good ones on the team! You actually heal me and stick by me unlike all the other pricks who up and leave me for being ‘rude.’”

“But you, [Name], you’re a healer I can lean on!” he grinned, “ya’ve never let me down! That’s what I like about you!”

That’s what he…liked about you? Your face went red as you processed his words, looking like you had seen a giant spider.

“So…you don’t hate support units?” you asked.

“Hate ‘em? Nah!” he cackled, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close to him, “Just drongos who don’t give me the time of day!”

Slowly, a smile appeared on your lips as you melted into him, letting him hold you closer. Jamison was a prickly guy and hard to get close to, and you always thought you’d never get very far with him, but all that time you had spent around him had been one big step towards knowing the real him.

–Mod Sirana

People To Follow: Follow Each One Of Then!!!

@lostinwonderland1989 - Renee is a beautiful ball of sunshine and deserves this entire planet on a gold platter

@tays-baes Brittany is literally the most talented person on this planet in the music industry outside of the holy trinity of Taylor, Ed, and Selena

@littlekeyss if you ever want quality Taylor Swift footage then you better follow this amazing sweet and wonderful girl

@actressinyourbaddream if you don’t follow Peyton then you’re doing life incorrectly and I’m just sorry for you because you’re missing out on a being murals with a great person

@gotagirlathome Lindsay is literally THE funniest person I’ve met on this planet and says the most extra things that I incorporate them into my own speech after

@fearlessly-buildingcastles Carolina is one of the greatest people I got to meet and she’s so sweet and I would literally catch a Grenade for her

@shakingitoff13 Sarah is literally the sweetest human being alive and is always so positive and nice and is an overall quality person

@fearlesslindsay Lindsay deserves to be followed sorry not sorry but she’s the cutest little sunflower the earth has ever seen and her face lights up my days

@stillgotscars Ebony is my child. LITERALLY MY CHILD!!! and I would do anything to make her happy and protect her till the end of my life!!

@emswift for quality content, a great personality, and a good friend please follow Em! She’s my precious Canadian snowflake and deserves love

@straightlinedownx Emily is one of my good friends and has the good quality content you didn’t know you needed but you deserve and she’s also a precious little bean that I just wanna hug so bad

@bigbroswift James is literally the coolest person I’ve never gotten to meet and I’m bout to take my ass down under and fly there already so we can have a swiftie dance marathon together!!

@illsingyourname NH James needs to meet me already it’s been too long and we live close by… anyways with the personal shade aside I need y’all to follow him so you can have this amazing guy in your life

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@queen-olivia-benson Annie is literally my everything and I can count on her sweetness any time of day. She’s literally a perfect human being and I just enjoy seeing her weather on my dash or in my texts!!

anonymous asked:

okay so i know you love a harry potter stucky au so maybe u can answer this. my friend is adamant about steve being a gryffindor and bucky being slytherin but i think steve is hufflepuff and bucky is slytherin. your thought?

I’ve made posts about this a lot before but I’m gonna go into more detail in this answer bc I got time to kill before Eyewitness starts. So buckle up, this is gonna be a long, but hopefully interesting, one.

You gotta go outside of the stereotypes of the houses, bc like if you just look at the stereotype of Slytherin’s being “dark and edgy” and Ravenclaws being “pompous know it all’s”, then neither of these make sense. But I feel like those stereotypes are massive misinterpretations of the houses. ANYWAY, moving on.

The traits most present in a Ravenclaw, are curiosity, a desire to learn, a thirst for knowledge. Bucky was a smart guy, who on his last night in town for a while, took Steve and the girls to a science convention and stood there in wonder as he saw the future happening in front of him. Bucky’s file says he was fluent in German even before the war, and he doesn’t come from a German family, so he must have learnt it himself. Ravenclaw’s are also the least likely to initiate conflict, and from what we’ve seen of Bucky, not The Winter Soldier, he doesn’t want to fight, he doesn’t want conflict, he’s only in one to remove Steve from one or if his life literally depends on it. Ravenclaw’s are the most open-minded of the houses, the house least likely to be influenced by what other people say and think, and we see that with the initial friendship between Steve and Bucky. The other kids didn’t want to give Steve the time of day, but Bucky didn’t give a fuck what the other kids were doing, he was making up his own mind, and he wanted to be friends with Steve. Ravenclaw’s are also associated with a love of astronomy and they’re connected with the element of air. Bucky as we saw, had an interest in sci-fi, so it’s not a stretch to assume he also had a fascination with space. And the air element is one of freedom, which i like in association with Bucky post-tws and into civil war. So yeah. Ravenclaw!Bucky is near and dear to my heart. 

Slytherin Steve. Pretend for a moment, that Slytherin’s aren’t massively generalised in the franchise and fanbase (seriously JK, you’re telling me not one single Slytherin stood and fought in the Second Wizarding War? They all hid in the dungeons? I call bullshit), let’s look at the traits of a Slytherin. Where Gryffindor’s can often have a desire for greatness and fame, Slytherin’s seek to be the best they can be. Not for recognition, but for their own knowledge that they couldn’t have done any better. And that’s Steve. He doesn’t want any of the recognition that comes with being Captain America, he’s said it himself, it makes him feel like a dancing monkey. He just wants to know that he has done all that he could in every endeavour he makes. Slytherin’s often are quite risk-orientated, and don’t take too much notice of caution. Which, excuse me @ Steve Rogers, jumping on grenades, jumping into enemy territory, crashing a plane into the ice, jumping from a plane without a parachute, jumping from the helicarrier without a parachute just hoping Sam would catch you. Slytherin’s are also often confrontational, especially if they think they’ve been wronged, and they won’t back down until some sort of agreement is come to. To which I say, Hi, have you met Steve? They’re also cunning, and aren’t above underhand tactics to get to what they want, for example, Steve wanting desperately to be in the Army and lying multiple times on enlistment forms (which is illegal), in the hopes that eventually he’d get approved. Gryffindors tend to be very black and white and no shades of grey. If the higher ups tell you that something is right, then it’s right, if they tell you it’s wrong then it’s wrong. Whereas Slytherin’s care a lot more about their own internal moral compass. If someone is telling them something is right but it doesn’t sit right with them, then they’ll oppose it. Slytherin’s aren’t so much driven by societal rules, and more their own rules, and that’s true of Steve. Also, Gryffindor’s tend to be more individualistic people, and Slytherin’s tend to be more group orientated, and that’s true of Steve. He does well on his own but he’s better in groups, like in the Howlie’s, and then when he sorta creates a new group for himself with Sam and Natasha. And of course with Bucky at his side. Steve is a character that has traits that overlap both houses, in the same way that Harry did. But I think whereas Harry sat there and begged not to be put in Slytherin bc of what he’d been told about the house, Steve wouldn’t care, he’d go in Slytherin if it was going to help him be the best he could be, which is precisely why I think he is a Slytherin. 

this went on more than i was planning so, tl;dr - I will go to the grave with my Ravenclaw!Bucky and Slytherin!Steve headcanons.

I wrote this for @vampirebillionaire from a prompt. Set in a loose, canon compliant sequel to her fic about a nygmobblepot future.

Ivy sets down each photograph carefully, gauging Oswald’s reaction every time she reveals a new piece of evidence. “He put one on the back side of the lounge,” she says lightly, watching the vein over Oswald’s temple twitch, “and there’s one over on the street where your first club used to be.”

“The Gigglebox,” Oswald says. “That’s what my first club has become, a comedy club.” He scoffs under his breath. “Don’t treat it like some big to do when it’s just how business works sometimes.”

“Right,” she says. “And he put three more here, here, and here.” She sets down the next three fast, showing Oswald the large metal question marks the Riddler’s attached to the wall of some warehouses. “He’s been pretty busy.”

“He certainly has been busy for someone rumored to be laying low to avoid capture.” Oswald regards each photo carefully, lifting them up and scowling at the slightly blurry images. “He’s put five of these garish nightmares out, all on my property. What exactly is his goal with all of this? And what happened to the prototype he tried to put on the roof of the Lounge?”

“It was a prototype,” Victor says as he stands behind Oswald, looking over his shoulder to look at the photos. “It’s gone now. That’s kind of the idea.”

“Yes thank you, Victor,” Oswald sighs loudly. “And neither of you know his motive? Of course not,” he answers himself before they can even try. He taps his pen angrily against the table a few times, then he pushes his chair back, standing and turning towards Ivy and Victor. “I think it’s high time I go deal with this little irritation myself.”

He leaves the room with Ivy and Victor trailing after, Ivy with a nervous energy about her and Victor as calm and collected as ever, seemingly unaffected by his leader’s sudden declarations. Oswald opens up one of the cabinets of his personal armory and selects his favorite shotgun; a modified number he got from Zsasz as a gift when he first opened the Iceberg Lounge.

“What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m arming myself to go deal with our little Riddler problem.” He loads the shotgun and pockets at least two boxes of ammo. Ivy boggles at him. “I can’t imagine what you’re finding so hard to believe.”

“Aren’t you going to call in an army?”

“He hardly has one of his own to send our way.” He examines the outside of the shotgun barrels. “Does this look scuffed? Has someone been using my guns?”

“At least let us come as backup,” she shouts. He continues to dismiss her concerns with a wave of his hand. “Pengy-”

“Don’t. You are making this a much bigger problem than it needs to be.” He smiles at her. “This doesn’t have to turn into some fantastic firefight. He just needs put in his place.”

“Victor!” She gestures to Oswald, silently demanding he side with her, and Victor shrugs. “Oh come on!”

He sighs. “I could always refreeze him,” Victor offers, half-assed and underwhelmed by the exchange.

“I’m aware that you could refreeze him, and if I wanted that I would ask.”

“At least take more than one gun,” Ivy insists.

“Fine,” Oswald says. He looks to Victor and holds out a hand. “If you’d be so kind,” he says, and Victor gently lobs a grenade off his suit over to Oswald, which he catches in his hand and slips into his pocket. “There. I’m bringing more than just one gun. Now if you’ll please excuse me, I have some work to do.”

Ivy frets after Oswald after he leaves the room, but Victor calls out to her. “Don’t follow him.”

She turns back and pouts. “I didn’t say I was going to.”

“You were,” he says. “Don’t do it.”

She scowls up at him and storms off in the other direction, and Victor shakes his head.

-

Oswald dismisses his driver and rests his shotgun against his shoulder, getting a feel for the night as he looks at the small, unassuming doors leading to the surprisingly spacious Riddler hideout inside. It’s relatively quiet, with only a single siren in the distance. Oswald raps on the door three times with the head of his cane, and when he gets no answer he tries the door, groaning with irritation when it’s locked. He glances left and right, and after checking the area he produces a single key from his pocket with a bright green loop on the end. Oswald jams the key into the lock and smirks when he can hear the satisfying snick of the bolt sliding free of the mechanism.

Several paintings are hung up on the wall to the left of the door, and in the opposite wall sits a few less artistic items; a few stolen batarangs, one of Joker’s canisters of laughing gas, and several odds and ends, mostly scrap and tools littering two large worktables underneath the only light currently on in the large room.

There’s a hiss and crackle as a PA system comes to life, and a voice telling Oswald, “I am a nuisance and a trespasser, what am I? The answer is you,” he snaps, and Oswald rolls his eyes. “In this room, there are a series of puzzles-”

“Ed, it’s me,” Oswald calls out, and the PA goes silent, “and I’m alone.”

There’s another beat of silence before Ed says, “I’ll be right down.”

A door hidden behind one of the large paintings swings open, and out steps Ed, clad in a pair of loose fitting pajama pants and a tee shirt and no shoes. He’s furiously combing his hair and sending a sheepish look Oswald’s way. “Apologies for the lack of dress. I didn’t expect company.”

“You didn’t even bother to gel your hair for me,” Oswald quips. “I thought I was worth the effort.”

“It’s nearly midnight,” he says, with a hint of fondness that covers up any irritation he’s trying to convey with his expression. “I think most reasonable people are already asleep.”

“I didn’t know you were considering yourself reasonable,” Oswald says. He sets his shotgun down near the door and places both hands on his cane, leaning ever so slightly towards Ed. “Considering the fuss you created over at the art gallery.”

“I don’t often get the opportunity to steal a few antique puzzle boxes,” he says, mouth split with a Cheshire grin. “I may have gotten a bit overzealous. It happens to everyone now and again.”

“I’m going to assume you’re trying to be glib,” Oswald says. He tilts his chin up to look Ed right in the eyes. “We have a few things we need to talk about, namely your liberal use of the outside walls of my properties.”

“Later,” Ed whispers, husky and smooth, and Oswald swoons in a bit closer. “We have all night. No sense skipping to pillow talk when we haven’t even reached the bed.”

-

“I guess I should be grateful it isn’t giant anymore, but the design certainly leaves something to be desired.”

“They aren’t meant to be pieces of art,” Ed explains from his half of the large, lavish bed in his inner sanctuary. “Although they certainly are masterpieces.”

“They’re an eyesore,” Oswald corrects. “And I don’t remember giving you permission to set them up in my territory, and what exactly is their purpose?” He rolls onto his side and sends a half-hearted glare at Ed. His eyes are closed and he’s half asleep with his face buried in his pillow, clearly not invested in the argument Oswald is trying to start. “Ed, I am not asking rhetorical questions. I expect an answer.”

“They’re mostly for fun. No harm intended.” He opens one eye and peeks up at Oswald. “Getting the light to switch off requires dexterity and critical thinking. I thought the Batman could use a bit of a mental exercise.”

“They light up.”

“The earlier model did too.”

“Am I supposed to expect my electricity bills to skyrocket?” Ed doesn’t respond and Oswald shoves at his shoulder, causing him to lift his head with a groan. “Ed.”

“They turn off during the day to conserve the bulbs and I’m working on integrating solar power.” Ed sighs as his head hits the pillow again. “And you don’t even pay your electricity bills.”

“I pay someone to make those bills go away.”

“Why not just pay the bills then?”

Oswald scoffs. “I’m not giving this horrid city one cent of my money. It’s a principle, not a cost cutting measure.” He rolls onto his back and waits, staring up at the ceiling of Ed’s bedroom, fidgeting his fingers with anticipation. “What? The man whose entire motif revolves around riddles isn’t going to try to tell me I’m being foolish?” He turns back onto his side and his expression softens. Ed’s gone past being half asleep to being out cold, arms still splayed where he left them and his face half buried in soft, goose down pillows. Oswald leans over and gently smooths some of Ed’s hair back off his forehead so he can leave a ghost of a kiss against his temple, and he scoots down onto his side to settle in for some proper sleep.

moonduties  asked:

no offense but uhhhh i love u?? sm?? u wonderful smartass?? like i love u sm that i.. would catch a grenade for u. i would.. throw my hand on a blade for u. i would fucking jump in front of a train for u!! u fuckin beautiful bastard i love u

i take FULL offense but i love you too

anonymous asked:

Hi! I'm writing a story about a kingdom that's loosely based off medieval times, but it's got some aspects that are more advanced... My question is: is it realistic to write bombs into the story? Like, bombs that are so explosive that it would cause a forest to catch fire? And if I do include bombs, what does that mean for other weaponry/war instruments?

You said it’s loosely based on the Middle Ages, so if you want to include bombs, you can. Explosives in the form of cannons have been used in Europe since 1262 (in Spain). It wasn’t until Crécy (1346) that the use of cannons became widespread. Grenades/bombs were first used in Europe in about 1437, but they certainly weren’t strong enough to blow up an entire forest.

As for how it’ll affect your story:

  • Castles and other large stone buildings will become worthless because the bombs can easily and quickly blow apart walls
  • Troop formations and supply trains will be spread out to prevent too many being taken out in one hit
  • Plate armor will either go more extreme or become irrelevant (as it did IRL) because it can no longer protect the wearers
  • Longbows will become extinct, since bombs can take out more people at a distance. Longbows will go extinct faster if someone puts bombs in a trebuchet.
Let's Talk About Hirosue Sora (How A Favourite Character Can Cause Unnecessary Feelings)

In line with a ‘Let’s Talk About Izuki Shun’ post I had done, I was thinking heck, I might as well do one for Sora. Since, well, I’m pretty much as lame when it comes to Sora, like I am about Izuki. (How lame, you ask? Hella.)

Sora is my favourite character in the Voltage Inc. universe. Just getting it out there, if it wasn’t totally obvious. Also, you can dismiss me as a crazy kook defending Sora’s character in this post; I don’t really care, I just wanted to type this out.

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I didn’t want to tell you how I felt. I knew I would risk everything if I told you and I didn’t want to lose what little of a friendship we had. But then again, I was like a grenade that was all ready to explode. You had my pin wrapped around your finger all this time with an inviting force inside of you that you never knew you had. Once you pulled, all I had was mere seconds to deliver what I had building up inside of me, only for you to be the kind of person I never knew you were and leave me hanging midair with no one to catch me but myself. But if you really knew how grenades worked, you’d understand that once they are set ablaze in midair, they cannot catch themselves either. They are left to explode on their own with pieces of themselves falling apart everywhere.

All I needed from you was to acknowledge how I felt and then maybe leave me as sappy as I am. Instead, you didn’t look at me like a person—more like a grenade that needed throwing, a cat stuck in a tree that needed rescuing, a math problem that needed solving.