i wonder what this song is

they say absence makes the heart grow fonder
all it did was make mine more yours


because even though my chest feels empty
even though there’s silence where there used to be song
if I listen close, all I can hear is the sound of your name


just come back to me
that’s what I ask every time I look up at the stars


because the world seems darker
because the monsters in my head are drowning out your memory
but I still find myself clutching an echo of you


it’s so hard to be strong without you
because you believed in me before the universe made us legends


but I’ll sit right here, in the middle of the end
and amidst the chaos, all anyone can hear is me calling out your name
and one day, after lifetimes of wandering, I’ll be home

—  back in your arms by Abby S

anonymous asked:

hey i left the one direction fandom a long ass time ago. i still listen to their music n individual stuff cos it's bopping. but i decided to drop on by to see what the deal is. and im so shocked to see all this dedication to louis and making sure he gets all the recognition that song deserves. it reminds me of when we were promoting the first albums;') i just yeah you guys are killing it and stuff. hope you're all having wonderful days and remember to stay hydrated

Drink water. Stream Back To You. Rest and repeat.

‘Bella Donna’, Stevie Nicks’ first solo album was released on July 27, 1981 to great critical acclaim and commercial success. 

And I just realized right away that I wanted more than anything in the world to put these songs down and play them for all those wonderful people who seemed, for whatever their reasons, to love my songs. And I love my songs. That’s what I do—I write songs. I’m a tune writer. And I wanted this LP to be really wonderful.” - Stevie Nicks

anonymous asked:

Texts Damian has sent?

  • Grayson…did you put a saddle on Batcow? Did you try to ride Batcow? 
  • I am going to punch him in the face, I just am and he will have to deal with it
  • I’m mad at Titus because he licked Tim’s face but he was probably just trying to lick the salt from Tim’s tears
  • Which one of you savages ate the last of MY coco puffs? Which one huh? Because I don’t go around eating your cereal
  • Selina, may I come over after school? I had a long day and I want to play with your cats
  • Breaking his middle finger was justified I’ll have you know
  • Is Alfred the cat in there with you?
  • Buzzfeed asked me to pick which animal is my favorite and I can’t do it, I just can’t. All animals are good animals, how can anyone have just one?
  • *picture of Titus in a Wonder Woman costume* 
  • I have a song stuck in my head and it goes bum bum bum bum bum bum bummmmmm 
  • *texts Dick or Cass separately from the group chat*
  • Do you think Alfred or father will notice if a sneak one of Selina’s cats in my room?
  • What about in Cass’ room?
  • It’s a kitten, it’s really cute
  • I don’t care what father or Alfred says, I’m doing it anyway, I’m adopting one of Selina’s kittens
does he know - peter parker

Does He Know - ((Tom Holland)) Peter Parker x Reader | 3rd Person

Prompt: So I love Peter(more than I should tbh but what can you do) and I really like the song “does he know” by one direction, so I was wondering if you could write something inspired by it, love you♡♡♡ - link to the song here (it’s a fucking bop) + i didn’t use the full song/skipped around or it would’ve been too repetitive

a/n: my inner directioner is screeching. ur old s/o in this imagine is called lucas mainly bc i know 3 lucas-es and they all suck lmao sorry (just imagine lucas as the most boring person you know)!! i love youuuu (sorry it’s a bit short)


he knows about you in every way

he’s memorized every part of your face

inside and out, baby, head to toe

yeah he knows everything there is to know

The only noises in the room came from the clicking of the remote, whatever was on the television, and content breathing. Side by side, the couple sat on the couch and didn’t speak, they didn’t need to. To be honest, (Y/N) was bored. Though Lucas was a decent person, he was boring.

Lucas knew everything about (Y/N) and practically had her memorized. He knew her face like the back of his hand, and her personality just the same. On the other hand, Lucas was boring. He talked about the same things every time they saw each other, liked everything, was always in the same mood, wore mundane clothing, and never went out. (Y/N) hated it, so much in fact she was driving herself insane. He was just too fucking dull.

your secret tattoo, the way you change moods

the songs that you sing when you’re all alone

your favorite band, the way that you dance

Because Lucas was so incredibly dull, (Y/N) felt as though she had to over-exaggerate everything to make up for him. She got a very small, secret tattoo, just to see if he had any other emotion except for blandness. (Y/N) was driven so close to insanity, desperately trying to see Lucas be a normal human being with normal human emotions, that her mood would drastically change from time to time.

(Y/N) would yell out songs to her favorite bands, and dance around the room when Lucas was out of the house, it was her only sense of feeling. She felt free, happy, and excited. Whenever Lucas would walk in on her like that, though, he would still lack any feeling whatsoever. Just a small smile would appear on his face and he would change the music to whatever he liked, usually songs that lacked feeling and passion.

To (Y/N), this was just crossed any line she had. It was the last straw, she was through with Lucas. Anger bubbled inside of her, and she just angrily stormed out of his house. Lucas assumed she was going to come back, but Lucas assumed wrong. 

but, baby, baby; does he know you can move it like that

does he know you’re out and i want you so bad

tonight you’re mine, baby

does he know that you’ll never go back; does he know

Having enough with all the monotonous living, (Y/N) was finally going to have a fun night out. She put on her favorite outfit with her favorite shoes, and headed out, feeling confident. Once she reached whatever nightclub was closest, she ordered a shot and downed it, feeling free from the dull life she was being set free from.

The music blared in her ears as she went to the dance floor and finally, for the first time in months, had a good time. (Y/N) was happy, ecstatic even, to be gone. Not even knowing the song, she still continued to dance, dance how she never could with Lucas.

At the bar sat Peter, feeling a little out of place. He showed up with a friend, who left for some drunken hookup, and was just drinking whatever the hell he wanted. Peter saw a girl dancing to the music, and something in him made him go over to her. Peter had quite a lot to drink, the music was trashy, and the atmosphere seemed to beg him to walk over to her.

About fifteen minutes later, the two were dancing to some generic music and (Y/N) hadn’t had that much fun in the past seven months. Somewhere in between their drinking and dancing, Lucas came up in their conversation and Peter couldn’t help but feel a little guilty, but nonetheless enjoyed every second. Tonight, (Y/N) was his.

The amount of fun (Y/N) was having in the short time spent with Peter, was fifty times the amount of fun she had with Lucas. Amidst the drinking and dancing, (Y/N) fell for Peter, and she knew she would never go back to Lucas with him in her life.

i catch your eye, then you turn away

but there’s no hiding the smile on your face

inside and out, baby, head to toe

he’s not around, girl, let me know

In all honesty, (Y/N) herself had started to feel guilty. She tried to separate herself from Peter, but he always managed to catch her eye. There was no hiding the smile on her face as she constantly found herself walking back to Peter.

At this point, it seemed like Peter knew more about (Y/N) than Lucas. Though Lucas knew her personality and what she looked like, Peter knew her. Peter knew what she liked to do for fun, what she hated about whatever the topic seemed to be. (Y/N) was starting to think that she should date him. When Lucas was gone, she was surely going to let Peter know.

he’ll never know

the way you lie when you look at me

so keep trying but you know i see

all the little things that make you who you are

Not in a billion years would Lucas ever know the way (Y/N) looks at Peter. She says she hasn’t fallen for him, yet her eyes showed how she felt. Lucas would never see (Y/N) look so lovingly towards someone.

It was no use trying, but (Y/N) persisted. She insisted that she didn’t like him, but Peter could see through it all. He didn’t mind though, he liked her back. It all seemed so high school-like, the two liking each other upon the first time meeting, but it just happened.

Peter saw all the things Lucas couldn’t. He saw her attitude, the way she talked, the way she would move her hands when she was really into what she was talking about, he saw it all. Peter saw each and every little thing that made (Y/N) her, and she couldn’t have been happier.


also if u like this pls tap that little heart over there bc it really motivates me to write more and i appreciate every single one of you ♡ and if you ever have an issue (spelling/grammar or even the concept) just dm me!

Rob’s Interview with Howard Stern. Highlights’ (my notes):

  • Howard Stern: I like it (Good Time) …you were fucking edgy!
  • HS: When you were doing Twilight, were you kind of worried that you will get stereotyped like, you will never get this kind of role? Like Good Time, I mean in Good Time you played this fucked up criminal

Rob: I never felt necessarily typecast in Twilight, it was pretty different from who I was as a person anyway. I was like, it was not my default…

  • HS: There are so many fucking jerk offs in Hollywood. They grew up, did a franchise, made millions etc…
  • Co-host : Did you walk away from it or did you lock in?  

Rob: You probably would have been sued (to walk away)

…. I enjoyed the whole process. So few people get an opportunity like that, for 5 or 6 years, it was crazy.

… not at the first one, not at all (regarding the craze and mania).

… I thought it (first Twilight) was going to be a little cool movie.

  • HS: It took 37 million to produce the 1st Twilight. You were 21 years old when you auditioned.

Rob:  I came in right at the last minute.

  • “If you could teach yourself to gag”  - the trick to get yourself to cry when acting. He said he was unsure about his own acting skills.
  • He had to take half a valium to reduce anxiety before Twilight audition
  • Before Rob was born, his mom worked as a broker for a modelling agency.
  • He started modelling at 12. Signed on at 13 when that was the start of the androgynous trend, when he has “pretty girl’s breast”.
  • At 15, his dad motivated him to join a drama club after speaking to some girls at a restaurant with him.
  • He got expelled from a private “arty” school for stealing porn in school uniform, and selling them to his classmates.  “ I got so cocky” and tried to take the whole rack of magazines and stuffed them in his backpack without zipping.
  • He tried to make up a lie, and was given a choice to either call the cops or his parents. “Every one of his friend snitched on me”.  He sold them for 20 pounds each. “I liked stealing things and lying”.

https://youtu.be/Snk6mGGKH4M to watch a short cilp about this porn enterprise. or at the end of this post.

  • He stopped stealing after that. “Went to a school that was way worse than me.”
  • He recalled the first thing he stole: Snapping candy bracelets.
  • Also liked stealing security tags in alarm clocks, “get high on it (stealing)”.
  • His big role before Twilight was Harry Porter, after which he got into a play but was fired 5 days before opening, without knowing the reason.
  • Rob said he looked like a mess at the 5th Harry Potter premiere red carpet, because he was eating In and Out all the time in LA.
  • He was looking sweaty and chubby, and was probably the reason why people wrote in to protest when he got the role of Edward based on those red carpet photos.
  • For playing Salvador Dali, he had to wax his whole body. For masturbation scenes, he wanted to really do it only if it came as a surprise to people (not at their suggestion).
  • Twilight series are teenage films, he felt that teenage romance should be serious, not smiley and happy.
  • Producer highlighted the smiles, he highlighted the frowns on the script. They felt that he has gone too miserable.

https://youtu.be/NrB28374Ggo to watch how he almost got kicked out for that.

On Twilight craze and Fame:

Rob:

  • Goes in waves, not being able to walk down the street is “pretty nuts”
  • No one is looking at you, and if they are looking, they are not seeing the same thing. 

HS: Is it fun or is it a headache?

Rob: “Both. It is definitely a ride, but I wouldn’t change a thing.”

“… I wasn’t ready for that kind of evaluation (the intensity while also dating your co-star).”

HS: Do you think it is inevitable, is it advisable to fall in love with you co-star? Good thing or a bad thing?

"On the first Twilight, it was very different. Later on, people noticed the difference, you upset many people, you suddenly have the power and you don’t know what it is.“

  • Rob did therapy years later *when the movies ended*, had to know that the previous life doesn’t exist anymore.
  • At 26. He was feeling secure up until the last one. “Impossible to think you will repeat yourself.”
  • He had a massive freak out at the first Twilight premiere. He was embarrassed by he interview he did, promoting it like an indie. He left and ran out and left the country. “I’m done” and stayed 6 months away.
  • He renegotiated after that.

About Good Time and filming in New York

  • “If you made yourself grimy enough, you can escape being noticed”
  • He would love to get caught doing that (sell porn) now
  • He is very, very happy about good reviews on Good Time
  • It is going to take him 10 years after the Twilight series, to come up with other movies. Meantime, he tried all different angles (of movies and acting).

About Superhero movies    

  • To do one, you have to sign up for 8 movies. He cannot do it, after 5 movies with Twilight.
  • Because it is a commitment to work with a huge machine.

About acting method, and learning accent.

  • Multi-impression. Everyone is from Queens. Very specific dialect. He picked it up by immersing himself with his co stars who are all from NYC.
  • Connie is, ”He’s just a narcissistic psychopath” instead everyone commented that “he loves his brother so much.”

About Fifty Shades of Grey

  • He hasn’t seen it.
  • “I know the writer of the book. Met her a Chateau Marmont, just as “a lady from England”. I was forcing her to tell me every one of her fantasies.”*laughs*
  • That role  “just needs to work out too much”
  • HS : Do you go to gym? “One week on, 3 months off”.

About dick, fights and endorsements

  • “Very hard to confront a guy who is trying to take a picture of your dick.”
  • Rob’s last major fight was when he was 18,19.
  • Rob was looking like a punk with a half-shaved head in Toronto at a bar. Met a guy who is half a foot taller, taking pic of him. *He smacked that guy*.
  • Turned down a multimillion dollar deal to be the face of Burberry. “How did you find that? That is crazy…” he asked HS
  • HS :Why accept endorsement deal with Dior?

Rob: “… I always tried to avoid from being put in a box. Burberry being kind of British, always known to not wanting to be known as British (keep it vague). Dior was less vague as British.”

About audition, music and relationships. ·        

  • He goes in audition as a character with an American accent
  • HS : Do you play music?  He could “fool people for about a minute and a half,” learned guitar from listening to Van Morrison. playing basic F, C, G, E chords, kind of have 8 little run..
  • HS: Song writer? “2 years to write a song.” 

HS: Well your fiancé is…

HS: “Well you’re engaged, right?”,

Rob: “Kind of…”*laughs*

HS: WHAT? You the “Secretive with relationship guy…protective”? …I never get that, I think part of the fun being with a woman is march around with her.

  • HS: The woman…you are with, FAQ?….“Yeah, she is amazing yeah…FKA Twigs…she is like super talented…Totally different one”.
  • HS: Do you call her like FKA?…”Call her…yeah Twigs basically. That was her nickname
  • HS: “I wonder if you’ll get married.” …*LAUGH*
  • HS: “It is hard decision for a guy like you. You can have anyone.”

Rob: “I don’t know about that…Not really.”

“…Being an actor, it ACTUALLY kind of narrows things down…  you get kind of paranoid. Most people may think they want a relationship with you. Then they realised, this is not what I want AT ALL. There is a big imbalance in the relationship.”

About trolls (online)

  • “They are professional trolls. Addicted to wanting to cause hurt and pain. Most difficult thing. They are faceless enemy. Nuts, random names. Different countries somewhere. Fake to them, real in your life.”
  • “Like you know there is one room in your house, where people talk nasty things about you. When you are down, you start listening to the whispers.”
  • (If you attack) you are feeding it. You feel less powerful, like attacking your reflection in the water. You’ll look crazy. 

About working with the Safdie Brothers and Academy award

~ See Josh’s instagram vidoe below. I couldn’t transcibe properly“ LOL

Rob : “Just do what I did…bla bla bla bla. *quick hand movements*

  • “I am just so happy that people liked it (Good Time).”
  • “ I just knew something was going on.”
  • “That is how I always try to get jobs basically. No one is going to know your taste better than you.”

Rob said “I will forgive you (the trolls)”, if they watch Good Time over and over again.

>>>The full interview was 1 hour. Talking about his “relationship” 5 minutes. The bulk of it was Twilight, auditioning, Good Time etc.

A post shared by JOSH SAFDIE (@booger_nose) on Jul 25, 2017 at 7:57am PDT

anonymous asked:

hi! i'm about a year late, but i was wondering if you could do an analysis of she is? i've heard people (including key) address that the lyrics (thick eyebrows, small eyes, pouty lips) seem to describe key but I wanted to hear your thoughts?

Hello! A year late is never too late within this fandom! I don’t think I’ve ever analyzed a song, so we’ll see where this takes me. 

I’ll start with the second verse, although Jonghyun uses ‘she’ in the majority of his songs, I’ve always thought that he does this because it’s what is socially acceptable in Korea. With that said, let’s ease our way into the second verse. “She Is” happens to be one of Jonghyun’s more “as it is” songs; it’s simple and cute and refreshing, depicting the beginnings of a relationship or having a crush.

Oh sweet love

Quietly sitting in front of a softly lit candle (we all know Jonghyun enjoy’s his candles)

Oh sweet love

Quietly locking eyes with you, just looking at you drives me crazy

And we all know how he likes to stare at Kibum 1000% of the time. 

Originally posted by mintokkies

Oh She is, I like your small eyes, the way you look at me
Oh She is, I like your thick eyebrows
Oh She is, I like your slightly pouting lips
Oh She is, I like it like that

Now this is the verse you were talking about and the verse Jongkey teased each other with

Although Kibum brings it up as a joke, Jonghyun doesn’’t just brush it off, instead he laughs and even pushes Kibum to do more. Maybe it was in the script, but the way he touched the back of Kibum’s neck and giggled/laughed was genuine. 

I don’t care how we might seem to others

THIS. That verse speaks so much about them and it implies a lot as well. Although throughout the beginning of their career they might’ve done fanservice because their company asked, but as the years progressed their actions become more real and natural. So this line speaks a lot to Jongkey and their view towards the public.

(Cool) I like how you act coy
(Relationship) I like it like that

I’m just going to add this line because to me it exemplifies a portion of Kibum’s character when it comes to Jonghyun; teasing him, joking with him, etc. And I think this picture from this era pretty much sums up this song. (and the enterity of their relationship tbh) Jonghyun’s discarded photocard, the intimate hug I MEAN, what more do I have to say?

Don’t be flustered (Woo woo woo)
This is natural 

Once again this applies to my previous thoughts on the current status of their relationship.

And with that being said I’ll end my analysis here, because this song is very simple and as it appears on the surface, and I think that’s what Jonghyun was going for, so each person reading them can come away with their own opinion. Thanks for the ask and I’ll get around to answering the others I have ^^

anonymous asked:

wedding theory: dan and phil are busy next week (no live shows, no summer in the city). they've got friends coming in from Japan. they're filming a bunch of gaming videos this week so they can be free all next week for the festivities. we're also coming up on the anniversary of when they started talking online. therefore, i can come to no other conclusion than their wedding is set next week. i wonder what song they will dance to as their first dance? probably the internet is here.

Okay but what the fresh fuck…this would kind of make sense?? I didn’t know they had friends coming from Japan too 👀👀👀 omg maybe the possible docuseries that they’re doing with that faraz osman guy is like about the days leading up to their wedding??? And the first one will post either the day of or the day after!!!! Omg just imagine though it would probably start with them being like “Hey guys/hello internet! If you’re watching this right now, that means all has gone well and we are currently on our honeymoon!” Ahsjfkdkln the thing that gets me is that it’s not impossible…. 🤔

Also please they’re first dance is obviously going to be to Toxic ok? smh

Send Me Demon Phan Suggestions!

I was tagged by the lovely @anelementofsurprise!!! Thank you for the music asks:)))

Answer the questions using the song titles of only one artist/band and then tag 20 people.

Artist: Louis Armstrong

What is your gender? -  A Woman Is A Sometime Thing ( The closest, I was able to find to show I am a woman)

How do you feel? -What a Wonderful World

If you could go anywhere: - April in Paris

Favorite mode of transportation? -  Red Sails in the Sunset (Love ships very much)

Favorite time of day?On the Sunny Side of the Street

If your life was a TV show - Shine ( we all need positivity in our lives)

Relationship status - Takes Two to Tango( and I am so glad I have an excellent partner):)))

Your fear - When It’s Sleepy Time Down South (again a metaphor for death)

I am tagging @absolute-twaddle, @pinkfloralcake, @poirott, @awkwardmorse, @virtusestmedium, @avrtemis, @kleinergruenerdrache, @emilyprentis, @goodoldbaz, @doctor-punkenstein, @flaviamarquesart, @youre-mostly-water, @the-baudelaire-fortune, @thebaudelairecase, @vinyaya-jay, @smilingsweetlyonwards, @joanhicksonsdaughter, @captainswan618, @lucyemers and @acciopevensie

Shuffle tag

Put your playlist on shuffle and answer the questions. No cheating! Tag others when you’re done. Tagged by the wonderful @hazelestelle!

Title of the first song describes how you will die: H.I.M. - Killing Loneliness (Aww that sounds pretty sad)

Second song describes your love life : Scooter - Imaginary Battle (LMAO)

Third song will be played at your wedding: Elvis Presley - Too Much (i’m already crying! this is gold)

Add “in my pants” to the forth song title: The 1975 - Loving Someone in my pants (HELP. ME :D:D)

Fifth song will be played at your funeral: Twenty One Pilots - Hometown (Aw.)

Sixth song is your theme song: TheBossHoss - What if (So true. Because i always just think about doing something, but never actually..do it.)

Seventh song is played when you think about someone you love: Green Day - Tired of Waiting for You (THIS IS JUST PERFECT. THATS LIKE A HOMERUN)

Add “with a shovel and screwdriver” to the eighth song: Avril Lavigne - Forgotten with a shovel and scewdriver (Oh no, is this the Tony Stark theme song?)

The ninth song describes your week: Enter Shikari - No sleep tonight (welp. i hope thats not true!)

Tenth song plays when you miss someone: Blink-182 - Stay together for the kids (WHAT KIDS)

This was so much fun! Aw thank you for tagging me!

Tagging - @ao-no-utsukushisa, @andysanime, @patrioticarcreactor, @atreatiseonlaughing, @starkquill-trash, @blairthepandabear and @dammitdain

Songfic-Challenge: A Song of Our Own.

Writers signed up and the songs are just wonderful!

This is what’s gonna happen: I’ll assign a song to each writer. Then you will have 72 hours to write an awesome fic involving said song between 300 to 1500 words and then submit it to the blog. No continuations this time, write your own “One-shot-song-fic” and I’ll be publishing as you submit them.

Interpret the song the way you want, but always remember to warn if your fic is NSFW.

Best of lucks to everyone ;)

can we ,, talk about ,, how fucking powerful Kesha is?

she signed with a goddamn abusive manager and producer and has - in a sense - been legally confined to this prick since she was 18.

Fucking. 18.

She doesn’t produce music for 4 years. Four goddamn years of her life that was being held on a string because she didn’t want to work with a shitty person who did shitty things to her

AND THEN SHE POWERS THE FUCK BACK

and literally, this fucking song “Praying” is the goddamn most powerful thing I’ve ever heard.

Yknow when I first heard Kesha? 2009. When all of her songs were about sex and getting hammered everyday.

And now she sings this powerful ass song about self worth that made mE WONDER WHY I EVER QUESTIONED MY O W N SELF WORTH

She isn’t credited enough because she started as just another pop artist that sang about the same shit as everyone else and now she is coming back and she is coming back stRONG

fuck everyone who hurt her. fuck everyone who hurt me. fuck everyone who hurt you.

be a Kesha, come back when you get knocked on your ass and show everyone what you’re made of.

T H A T is what I call inspirational.

SDCC SU Panel stuff!

- Zach: “Rebecca, what can you tell us about what’s to come next on Steven Universe?”
Rebecca: “I’m really excited, well … We’ve had these incredibly huge events lately, and we’re just gonna see the fallout, this bomb, there will be HUGE consequences to everything that’s happened, and the rollercoaster has sort of rocketed forward from here on out, so these next episodes were really exciting to make.”

- A VERY intense trailer was shown of what’s to come next. I couldn’t see it, I could only hear it. The audio I transcribed below:
Pearl: “I thought you’d see it someday, but … I thought I’d be there with you.”
Steven: “You’re safe! You’re here! I’m here! We’re safe, everything’s fine.”
Connie: “But it’s not, though.”
Steven: “I just wanted to save everyone, but I couldn’t even do that. I don’t know how I’m gonna get you out of this. Are you doing okay?”
Sadie: “Well, I’m worried about Lars being in space, and I hope he’s safe and all.”
Blue or Yellow Zircon: “You RAN?! From Blue and Yellow Diamond?!!”
Greg: “I don’t know anything about Homeworld, I don’t know anything about your (intangible), you guys have to put it in the contest!”
Pearl: “There are things on Earth that are impossible for me to explain. But I want to.”
Lapis: “They’re gonna take her anger out on this planet, just like they did before. I WON’T let myself get caught up in another war.”
Peridot: “Earth is our home now! Isn’t it worth fighting for … ?”

- A new Save The Light trailer was shown, and a new Peridot was revealed in the game! Her name is ‘Squaridot’, she has square hair, limb enhancers, and a left eye gem.

- Q: “Would Rainbow Quartz be the same or different with Steven?”
Rebecca: "Rainbow Quartz 2.0 would variably be different …….. it …….. Forget I said that. That’s a very good question thank you.”

- Q: “Have we seen the full extent of Lion’s powers?”
Rebecca: “I don’t think we’ve seen the full extent of Lion’s abilities yet”, etc.

- Q: “Which Off Color do you relate the most to and why?”
Rebecca: “Rhodonite. The neurotic one.”
Zach: “Padparadscha.”
Deedee: “Padparadscha.”

- Q: “I was wondering if there was any challenges making the music for the show?”
Rebecca: “Oh of course, we don’t get any extra time to do episodes with songs in them than episodes without songs in them. I think the most challenging one was Mr. Greg.”

- Q: “While making the show (cont.), I’ve been a creator for a long time, and I just had to ask: Do you gauge if something’s gonna be really popular? Like Padparadscha immediately became an enormous meme.”
Rebecca: “I think we focus on loving what we’re making. We all love Padaparadscha, so … I suppose it wasn’t a surprise to see people loved her too. I think some of the stuff that catches on is the fun ideas we have, and that was one of those where someone at a big writer’s meeting pitched that concept of a Sapphire that sees the past and we all just loved it instantly (cont.) … and thought how sweet that would be. And I always thought of Sapphires being Zelda-esque, so I really wanted a sort of Peach to contrast her Zelda.”

- Q: “Was Lars becoming pivotal something you planned from the beginning?”
Rebecca: “I think it happened naturally, because Lars was one of the oldest characters in the show. I was drawing Lars and Sadie back in college. They’re older than Steven Universe. I think they were always gonna be very very important.”

SDCC 2017 Rebecca Sugar interview

Rewind and Pause interviewed Rebecca Sugar in this fifteen-minute interview. Here’s a sorta-transcript–not word for word, but basically what the questions are and how she answered, paraphrased.

Question: A lot of the show’s symbolism is inspired by Utena. Can you discuss that show’s influence?

Rebecca: When I was a teen, that show was an epiphany for me! It plays with the semiotics of gender and I was a bisexual teen relating to it in a way I’d never related to anything before. The show is beautiful and I love that she decides she wants to BE a prince after being saved by a prince. And it’s also funny. It’s so extreme that it’s funny, and that was a huge influence on me as well, that something could be so dramatic and so beautiful but also wacky. It’s so extreme that it’s powerful at the same time as being funny. I got to see the origins and see Guys and Dolls at the Takarazuka Theater when I visited Japan. Osamu Tezuka grew up in that town! You know, Princess Knight, which has everything to do with Utena. I got to see some of the roots there and it was a big influence. Amazing.

Question: Another influence, especially lately, you can draw comparisons between Steven’s miracles and Christ figures. Are you exploring this, and potentially modernizing that allegory, with different kinds of love?

Rebecca: We’re inspired by every voice that has ever spoken about peace. I think–I’ve been reading about Hillel the Elder and how he said “If I’m not for myself, then who will be for me?” The gentleness with which he approached everything is really inspiring to me. I think that I’m very influenced by my Jewish upbringing. I’m half Jewish and was raised Jewish. I’ve felt the feeling of belonging but not belonging. I’ve been moved by this incredible history and this wonderful community that I wanted to understand and be a part of. That’s all been a big influence on the show as well. It was all about growing up with my brother, and that was a big part of my life. There’s a lot of spiritualism in the show.

Question: I wanna ask you about the color symbolism? And I’d be remiss if I didn’t say thank you for showing our community on TV. About Steven: His Gem is pink, his shield is pink, his sword is pink, his shoes are pink! It subverts the tropes of a traditional male hero. Was that intentional?

Rebecca: Oh, it’s COMPLETELY intentional. Yeah, I think one of the things I wanted to do as I went into the show was address how intensely gendered shows for children are and dissolve that. That was my first goal. And I think it came in large part because as a little kid I always gravitated toward boys’ shows, and I felt extremely guilty about that. And I don’t think my child self should have had to feel bad, but I understood “this is not really for me.” So as we went into this, I wanted NO ONE to have to feel that. I wanted everyone who wanted to, to feel it was for them. Especially since it’s gender nonconforming as a show.

Question: Silly question: Peridot and Lapis are roommates. What do you think their biggest pet peeves are of each other? If they have any, I mean.

Rebecca: Gosh. I think Lapis is sort of both annoyed and comforted by Peridot’s infinite energy. I often thought of them like the sort of old cartoon idea of a small dog and a big sort of like doesn’t-really-care dog. With a small very very excited dog. I felt that that was a dynamic for them. So I think that that, like those characters, it’s annoying to Lapis but she doesn’t actually dislike it.

Question: Congrats on the Emmy nomination!

Rebecca: THANK YOU!

Question: I hope we get to see “It’s Over, Isn’t It?” and “Both of You” during the Emmys. How do you feel?

Rebecca: I’m so excited, and I’m so glad it’s that one. It was such a fun dream to make a musical episode. I always loved those, they’re always my favorite. I couldn’t wait to do ours. Everyone was firing on all cylinders for that episode. I got to do music with Jeff Liu and Ben Levin, and Aivi and Surasshu’s compositions for the finals were stunning, the backgrounds are incredible, the art is so beautiful, it’s Jeff Liu and Joe Johnston’s last board together, it was one of the last episodes I got to work on with Ian before he left to do his show, so it also has a special place in my heart, I remember seeing it come back and being in the edit bay watching it and my eyes were welling up because “this is it, this is everything I ever wanted.”

Question: Not to mention Deedee crushing it.

Rebecca: She’s amazing! And that was when she was doing Tommy! So we got her on a day she’d been doing shows all day, and she came and knocked that out.

Question: First take?

Rebecca: We did several, but all of those takes were amazing. I love writing songs for Deedee. And that one, it has some notes in it that I cannot hit. But I know Deedee can do it.

Question: Now when you write songs, you hear a lot of the demos you write on ukulele a lot, but you play other instruments. Do you find that you write differently depending on what instrument you’re writing for?

Rebecca: Yes! Oh, completely. I have my go-to ukulele chords. But I also like to write songs on the omnichord, which is like a synthetic harpsichord from the 80s. And it has a row of buttons, you hit a button and you get that chord. I can use it for experimentation for chords I might not have thought of. I got one off eBay, the OM-84, and it was a little buggy, it wouldn’t play right, would go out of tune, and I took it to get it looked at, and these incredibly corroded batteries fell out of it! With this cloud of red dust! So I can’t put batteries in it anymore. But I can plug it in and it still works.

Question: So for “Love Like You,” is it connected to any of the characters or any point of view, or was it more a one-off?

Rebecca: “Love Like You” is so unusual. It started as a point-of-view song for all Gems, and the thesis of the whole show, sort of toward Steven, and my own brother Steven, but because it was the credits, I wrote the song over three years in little pieces. I thought at the start that this is about an alien that’s looking at a human, who loves them, and the secret meaning of this is that they don’t have the capacity to feel this way. By the middle of it I was deep into the show and going through a real crisis of confidence, where I was like “why are people looking to me? It’s not right!” and these people were coming out of the woodwork to thank me for the show, people who had been able to speak to their families in these wonderful new ways, people who had become comfortable with themselves in these incredible ways that I had not been able to do! Where I was like “I’m so inspired by everyone! Why are they thanking me?” So the middle of the song I was sort of in that place. And about a year later, I realized the beginning was not what I had thought it was about at all. It’s not a secret meaning about an alien who doesn’t understand humans. It’s about the fact that I had always loved my brother and had these people who would love me unconditionally in my life, and because of my insecurity I had not been able to be there for them 100%, and I realized this was maybe one of the most human things I’d ever written, and I had written it by accident. So I got to conclude it. It was seriously written over 3 years.

Question: Recently we talked about how the show has been dramatic and full of conflict. It’s great but do you ever have concerns about taking the show–it’s a very positive show, so does the conflict have the potential to go too far, or do you like making it more challenging?

Rebecca: I’m excited to be more ambitious with the story, and the danger they’re experiencing also feels like a danger for us who are writing the show. Writing stories that are more ambitious and challenging. It feels necessary, because it’s about how love conquers all, but you can’t write that story without showing what comes up against that. I’m excited to explore the–you’re right, it’s scary to explore where hate comes from in a show about love. I want to–it’s a challenge to stay positive while exploring that. But that’s a challenge I experience in LIFE. And that’s a challenge we’re all experiencing right now. So it also feels like the time to explore that in myself and in the show.

just a doodle page filled with pirate camp!!

Pinky.

I remember all the promises we’ve made together—all the good things you’ve said that I thought would last forever. We were like kids writing our futures without knowing how time could change us—how the world will try to always make us reminisce the past. How the people around us will try to mold us into something we didn’t want.

Ring.

It was the different type of love. I don’t know if fate is real or if destiny confuses us about what we feel. But I always imagine you with me, and my heart beating with yours in symphony. It was the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. The most wonderful feeling I couldn’t get tired of.

Middle.

There’s always something that goes in between. Pedestrians passing by— every time the traffic lights signal us to stop. When you were walking fast yet caught up behind someone who is walking slowly enough. When you already want to do the things you love, but you saw something that puts a doubt in your heart. When you thought you already found someone who you can’t enjoy living without.

Index.

I choose you over anything else, hoping that you’ll also end up picking me over everybody else. Yet I put a finger on your lips telling you to stop spreading all the sugar coated lies. I point to your chest, hoping for you to be honest. Darling I think I couldn’t take it anymore, if you continue to pretend that you still love me more.

Thumb.

Believe when I say that everything will be okay, even if it will take a lot of time for me to heal. In the end I will surely learn from all of this things. I will still carry the love I have somewhere inside me. Not for you, but for—each and every—broken part of me. This is how I should let go of you. One by one, I’ll remove my fingertips away from holding your hands. One by one I’ll let go of you so you can rest and breathe. Day by day, letting go will ease the pain.

And until my hands stop bleeding, my soul will suddenly appreciate the wonderful life I’m living. In the end my heart will learn how to love myself more—and will finally consider it as my home.

—  ma.c.a // I should stop holding on you