i wonder what this song is

I won’t hope and wish
that you don’t fall in love
with someone else
because I know you will.
Instead, I hope and wish that
you won’t ever have to know
how it feels like
to miss someone at 3am,
to listen to songs with lyrics
that slap your face as hard
as the pain you feel,
to write poems at 10 in the morning
because you pray
that the one you’re writing about
will learn about this, someday.
I hope and wish that
you won’t ever
have to wonder
what could have been
and what could not be.
Lastly, I hope and wish that
you go out
and explore the world
that is offered before you,
to watch the sunset
with someone
who will stay by sunrise,
and to live a life
with no boundaries, no regrets.
This, I hope and wish
for you, and only for you
—  unsent letters
Smoke

Prompt: Hi love!! I don’t know if you’re taking requests or even have the inspiration to write at the moment, but I was wondering if you could write a Theo imagine? About him coming back from hell and meeting the reader for the first time? And she sort of takes him in because she doesn’t truly know what he’s done or what he was like and he starts to fall for her but he has all these trust issues??Very fluffy too please!!! – Anon

Author’s Note: So, I had this idea to write this to Maddie & Tae’s song “Smoke.” I think it really fits, and I hope you do too. Hope you like what I came up with! Thanks for requesting!


Smoke.

Keep reading

Red Paladin Lance Moodboard:

“I’ll become what you like. 
This is what you’ve wanted, right? 
Sacrifice all I know. 
I will teach myself to let go. 
Copy that, copycat” 

I was inspired by this video and song to make a moodboard for red paladin Lance. I personally don’t like the concept being a permanent change but think it’d do wonders for character development and only enhance Lance’s feelings of being just a step behind Keith and a replacement.

anonymous asked:

the funny thing is about this bread au, there is actually a recording of Roy's voice actor singing a song about wanting to have a simple life as a baker

Oh knead knead
Pull, pull
It’s time to mold it
Into the shape of a dinner roll

I’m just a simple baker
Trying to make my way
Though my bagels are the best
At the end of the day

I like to make them
At just the right time
So the Lieutenant can hear me
Bust this sick rhyme

I’m going to make them
Over an open fire
Whoosh, whoosh

‘Cause you know my heart 
Burns for bread too
Kaboom, kaboom!

anonymous asked:

I wonder if Harry has heard Mitski's cover of Fireproof. If I could make one cover request, it would be for Harry to cover Mitski covering 1D. Quite meta, but would be amazing. I'd even settle for him covering another 1D song in that style (fuzzed out guitars and crashing drums). For example, can you imagine a more theatrical version of Fool's Gold? Knowing a bit about H's musical choices now thru SotT and ESNY, what 1D song would you like him to sing and in what style?

Ahh! how cool!  I’d actually never heard that before so thank you for this! 

 This is actually a fascinating question. And holy shit is it hard!!   Maybe Stockholm Syndrome?  Slow it down, make it super dark and creepy sounding?  Kind of like…Annie Lennox-y?  That’s the first thing that came to mind. Oooh or I feel like Infinity also has the possibility to be expanded upon and like with you mentioned with Fools Gold, make it bigger and more theatrical like they started to in the london sessions with that killer strings arrangement.  but like go even further with it.   

Speaking of Fools Gold…this isn’t exactly what you asked since you mentioned Harry specifically, but I’d love to hear that kind of turned into a slow jam of sorts and have Liam sing it.  How cool would that sound?  Kind of like Bruno Mars did with All I Ask during his  BBC live lounge.  

Man this is seriously tough!  I’d love other people to weigh in on this too!  what a fascinating discussion!  

iamrebeccasblog  asked:

(I'm literally so sorry for asking you all this stuff when you probably have LOADS of stuff to answer and write) but we talk about our Ward songs, but what would HE listen to? Cause it's so hard for me to imagine him jamming out in his car. But then again maybe he's a secret weirdo when he's driving (like me tbh lmao) and turns on some music and just starts dancing to it lol

You don’t ever have to apologize for sending me asks :) I love answering them!

I know I’m going to sound like a record player, but I’ve totally wondered the same thing. I imagine Ward would be forced to listen to whatever Harold likes, which is probably some classical shit (nothing wrong with classical music, but you know Harold would be a pretentious knob about it).

But Ward? I think Ward would secretly be into some old classic rock. Give him some Kansas, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Queen, Pink Floyd, maybe even the Grateful Dead. Our Ward is definitely a 70s classic rock boy. Or at least, that’s my personal headcanon!

Thanks for the ask!

exotic-crystal-dancer  asked:

Hey, I'm so, so sorry if this is a stupid question- but I was wondering if Amethyst being smaller in flashbacks (but her hole being her regular size) is, like, a choice because she felt small compared to the rest of the CGs, or if she was actually just smaller in the past. ( I'm thinking specifically about the "What Can I Do For You" song. She seemed much smaller to me.)

She wasn’t smaller in the flashbacks. She just looks smaller because the camera is pulled back to accommodate Rose’s presence.

April 23, 2017

I’m in the mood for love,
A hand protrudes from the floral bush
offering fingers dripping with honey,
Combined with a voice of song and whispers
offering paeans to Venus,
Of Milos, of Athens, of Rome, of Paris,
Arabian tales and African hymns
while I wonder ‘neath a black night sky
that’s lit my nought but a million stars,
What is Love, where goes Love,
am I of meaning without the thing?

Oh no looks like I gotta stop studying cause @the-royalewithcheese tagged me in a thing oh no what a shame

Nickname: Technically Joe is a nickname but my last name is ridiculous so I get “Salsa” “Seltzer” and “Salazar” a lot
Zodiac sign: Cancer
Height: 5′8"
Last Thing You Googled: “movie with Cory in the House and dog”
Favorite Music Artist: Oh wonder
Song stuck in my head: Hard Times by Paramore cause I’m trash
Last Movie You Watched: Rio 2 (it’s a masterpiece)
What are you wearing right now: an oversized hoodie and pajama bottoms
Why did you choose your URL: I loved alliteration and coffee
Do you have any other blogs: nah
What did your last relationship teach you: I need to work on my mental illness before I go into another one but will I??? That’s the real question
Religious or Spiritual: Nah but if there are ghosts out there I love you I swear
Favorite Color: Greenish? Maybe?
Average hours of sleep: prolly like 7 with a very high standard deviation
Lucky Number: I’ve never been lucky in my entire life wat
Favorite Characters: Junior in The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian, Dante in Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, and Luna Lovegood
How many blankets I sleep with: like three lmao
Dream Job: chemist, geologist, 🤷‍♀️

I’ll tag whomever???

Personal Taggy Tag Meme

Tagged by @ghostmoonchild <3 

Nickname: Buffy (I act as Buffy in a shadowcast troupe)

Zodiac sign: Pisces

Height: 5′6″/ 168cm, same as Otabek - WE’RE THE SAME HEIGHT, ghostmoonchild!

Last thing you googled: …cookie recipes. Yup. That’s totally what I just googled. Not cock rings.

Favourite music artists: EXO, The Argument, Draco and the Malfoys, N*SYNC, Christina Aguilera (YOU CAN’T JUDGE ME THEY ARE WONDERFUL), Dean Fujioka.

Song stuck in my head: Unfortunately “The Power of Antioxidents” because I’m in a play called Pinkalicious as the mother and we just rehearsed that number this morning.

Last movie you watched: Not sure. The last TV show I watched was Archer.

What are you wearing right now: Jeans and a GeekyCon volunteer t-shirt.

Why did you choose you url: It was originally “shadow-of-wind” but I changed it when I delved in to my obsession with Otayuri.

Do you have any other blogs: Nope. Well, I’m a mod for Rintori Week this year so I guess that counts? You can find it here: @rintoriweek-2017

What did your last relationship teach you: I’m married, so…that’s going well? My last relationship before this was over 7 years ago and he was a dick when we broke up and for some reason thought telling people I raped him was a good way to get back at me (I, obviously, did not).

Religious or spiritual: Spiritual, culturally Jewish.

Favorite color: A deep purple and darker turquoise blue.

Average hours of sleep: 6-8

Lucky number: 17

Favourite characters: Yuri Plisetsky, Otabek Altin, Kyoko Mogami, Hermione Granger, Daine Sarrasri, Numair Salmalin.

How many blankets do you sleep with: 1

Dream job: Café owner.

I tag @madamredwrites and @phaytesworld

(hey here’s why I didn’t update yesterday)

Wanted to try my hand at an animated storyboard, it was a lot of fun! Hugely inspired by this incredible video

Sayo during her pash! interview (more “welcome to he madness”).

Can imagine Otabek with a stern face, trying to explain the other boy why he can’t take him with him. Yurio’s like “yeah, yeah I get it, just go…” BUT OF COURSE HE FOLLOWS ANYWAYS. He needs a new song, and Yurio knows Otabek will be of help.

YURIO ENDS UP FOLLOWING OTABEK WITHOUT THE OTHER NOTICING, AND IS ABLE TO SEE HIM WHILE THE OTHER BOY IS AT THE CLUB.

Just wonder how it all went after that, Yurio being like “yeah I went to the club, you’re pretty good, need your help to pick my song for the exhibition”, and of course Otabek is like “even after I told you not to come?” Yurio “…yes”… *otabek thinking: what if something happened to you? and i was not there to help you…* Otabek “/sighs/ ok… what do you need?”

PLEASE NEED THIS TO BE IN THE MANGA KUBO-SENSEI IS MAKING AS AN ADDITIONAL FOR WELCOME TO THE MADNESS. YURIO TRYING TO SNEEK TO THE CLUB, trying to act more mature, gets angry when ask for a credential, mission FAILED.

(source.)

my mom's comments on every act 2 hamilton song
  • What'd I Miss: oh THIS is Thomas Jefferson!!
  • Cabinet Battle #1: "turn around bend over i'll show you where my shoe fits" still more civilized than the 2016 presidential debates though
  • Take A Break: philip grew up fast
  • Say No To This: how hot was this hamilton anyway (me: what why) a lot of people seem to be in love with him i'm just wondering
  • The Room Where It Happens: this must be your favorite song, because it's about wanting to be included
  • Schuyler Defeated: *hears first four notes* i thought we already heard this song
  • Cabinet Battle #2: i wish all debates were just rap battles
  • Washington on Your Side: the fast talking guy is back
  • One Last Time: did he die
  • I Know Him: is this the king again (me: yes) oh i thought he died or something
  • The Adams Administration: "sit down john you fat motha--" i thought he was friends with john though (me: nope wrong john)
  • We Know: "my god" is it weird that his voice is soothing to me
  • Hurricane: intense
  • The Reynolds Pamphlet: were the hamiltons like the kardashians
  • Burn: this is angelica right (me: no it's eliza) well the hamilton doesn't deserve her
  • Blow Us All Away: "How about when i get back we all strip down to our socks" I DONT LIKE THIS BOY
  • Stay Alive Reprise: oh no.
  • It's Quiet Uptown: i should be crying but it makes me wonder if i would be this sad if you died, and i don't know if i would be, so now i'm just guilty (me: oh my god)
  • The Election of 1800: "can we get back to politics please" i agree
  • Your Obedient Servant: this song is almost as passive aggressive as you are
  • Best of Wives and Best of Women: how did she forgive him
  • The World Was Wide Enough: "the world was wide enough for both hamilton and me" wow
  • Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story: if your father cheated on me and then wrote a song about it i probably would not do anything for him again
  • Conclusion: good music but i'm still not buying you tickets
Quotes from Harry Styles’ Interview

Writing for his album

“I started the album end of Feb last year for about three weeks and then had to stop for about 5 months when I went to do a movie. I came back to it in July and finished writing it in December. For a while before all I thought about it was stressing about what it was going to be. It gave me a chance to completely step away from it for a bit and have a real break. By the end of the movie, because we were swimming so much I just wanted to write songs…I think we wrote about 70 songs - we did 50 songs and ideas in Jamaica and that’s including like little ideas. Well full songs, I say there are 30 songs probably. One of the songs on the album, I wrote a few years ago.”

On his album

“I was with the guys who I was writing it with and we just wanted to make what we wanted to listen to and that has been the most fun part for me about making the whole album. In the least weird way possible, it’s my favourite album to listen to at the moment… I hope we did a good job but I really like the album so I hope people like it. I think if you put out something that you don’t stand behind and really love, then if it doesn’t go well then you could regret not doing what you wanted to do. Whereas if nothing happens with it, I love it you know so I think that’s what you should do. I think that’s been my favourite part to the overall thing is listening to the album and making all the changes – it has been fun to watch over it all.”

Writing in Jamaica

“I just wanted to not be somewhere that I’d get distracted. It was 360 of writing, you’d go home for dinner, write at the house then go back to the studio. I liked being away from everything and doing it like that.”

About his debut single

“It’s a bit weird, I feel like I’ve been hibernating for so long now and you hear it in the safety of the studio and now it’s time to give birth … it’s the song (debut single) I’m most proud of writing.”

About making it on his own

“I’ve been hibernating trying to get it all ready, that’s been fun, but I like this bit as well. I think it’s gonna be fun, it’s gonna be good. It’s not like I’m travelling on my own now, I have a band and everything and they’re amazing.”

Ed Sheeran

“I played him (Sheeran) a few songs after the album was finished. He didn’t say that he didn’t like any, but he did like one song that isn’t on the album. So I did have a bit of a minute of like hmmm no but…”

On Adele

“I’ve spoken to her a little bit, she knows one of the guys that I wrote it with (his music) a lot. But I don’t think so much advice, I just like how she does stuff. I think she leads by example, she’s the biggest, she’s amazing, she’s the best so she should be the biggest. The thing with her is she’s a different thing, she’s just good at it, I like how she does everything, it looks very nice. For my 21st she gave me one of her albums 21 and said, ‘I did some pretty cool stuff when I was 21, good luck’ and I was like, 'geez’.”

On Dating

“I haven’t dated in a long time really because I went away to do the movie then did the album so I haven’t in a while. I have a couple of candles left still though. 

Whether dating when famous is hard

“I don’t know, maybe. I feel like with all of the stuff how people date now, with all online stuff, I feel like you can do that (Google) with anyone really if you’re looking at someone’s profile before seeing them. It’s kinda the same… No, I used to (research dates), then I said I’m not going to do that anymore, it’s impossible to go in without a perception of someone and you’ve never met them and I started feeling like that was wrong and weird. I think I snore, and also I quite like routine, so I don’t know if I’m ­incredibly spontaneous.”

Cutting his hair for Dunkirk

“I felt very naked for a while. I was like yeah, I’ve gotta shave my hair off. It wasn’t a hard decision, it got made into a wig.”

Why he rarely tweets

“I don’t like saying something for the sake of it.”

Life at home and work

“The first time I went home not wearing trainers, I was in a pair of boots. Someone said, ‘What the bloody hell are they?’ I like to separate working and being at home with family.”

Staying grounded

“It’s easier in the way that I like to separate stuff from working and being at home with family and stuff. When you separate it it’s easier to see it for what it is. When you let it become everything and that’s your whole life, then it’s easy to get a bit lost in it. I’m lucky, I have amazing friends and my family’s amazing so I think they make it easier to keep the separation between the two which makes it easier for me.”

Being nervous about playing his music to others

“I think it’s nerve-racking in that I’ve only played it to like 10 people in a room. I try and not be there if I’m playing it…”

His mother and step-father’s reactions to the album

“I played the album to them the first time and there’s one song that’s got a vocal effect on it, the whole album finished then my stepdad said: ‘I’ve one question, where did you get the duck from, how did you get a duck in the studio?’ I was like: ‘That was me, thanks’. My Mum liked it which was handy. She cried a couple of times which was good, I think that was good.”

Musical Influences

“I think it’s hard to not have influencers from what you grew up listening on. I think everyone reacts differently to different types of music. I had a good range between my mum and dad… my dad listened to Fleetwood, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd and Queen. My mum was like Norah Jones and Savage Garden. There are a lot of melodies there.”

Being starstruck by other celebrities

“I remember the first time we went to an awards show in the US, we met Will Smith. It was a brief meeting – he was nice and very tall.”

Addressing the rumour about getting a sheep placenta facial

“No I’ve never had a sheep placenta facial.”

Rumours about Hobama

“I’m not allowed to talk about that.”

Rumour on taking his dates on helicopter rides

“No I’ve never done that,” Harry says, with Grimmy responding: “Not even with Barack?”

“No,“ Harry says. “It was his helicopter, haha.”

Talking about Chris Martin

“He’s lovely isn’t he? He is good at telling you to take care of yourself. I think he makes sure you are alright and is very zen. I think he is a pretty wonderful man.”

On Ronnie Wood

“Big fan, I love Ronnie Wood – I think I met him at a dinner party a few years ago and went to a couple of Stones shows…I think he is the nicest.”

Interviewing Paul McCartney for his Another Man issue

“It was amazing – his voice sounds like a song.”

Loving scented candles

“I mean I think everyone loves scented candles. But I usually take one from home if I’m travelling.”

About sprouts being the new kale

“I went two days ago. I got some spinach, eggs, OJ, milk, turkey and some brussels sprouts. Hmm what else did I buy…oh some Crème Eggs. I like putting sprouts in a curry and I like sauteing them. I think they are going to be the new kale. I met [someone] and I asked her what she did and she said ‘I’m the PR lady for Kale’ and I was like ‘good job then.”

Talking about his four nipples

“Still got them, managed to keep them. Maybe I just hide them in limited edition albums, like golden tickets. I’ll hold onto them.”

Best trait

“Best trait I don’t know, it’s weird to pick your best, shall we go with the nipples thing.”

On where not to ask him for a selfie

“I think in toilets is the weirdest one. It’s happened a couple of times… When someone tries to shake your hand right after having a wee, ‘I might wash my hands first’.”

About Liam’s son and being a potential godfather

“I spoke to Liam and he’s loving it. He said it’s going really well and everyone’s great. So I’m very happy for him. I think it’s a roll of the dice, there are a lot of people Liam has in mind. I’m not going to add any extra pressure. If it came my way I would be honoured.”

If Styles hadn’t yet adapted to global social-media attention, he was tested in 2012, when he met Taylor Swift at an awards show. Their second date, a walk in Central Park, was caught by paparazzi. Suddenly the couple were global news. They broke up the next month, reportedly after a rocky Caribbean vacation; the romance was said to have ended with at least one broken heart.

The relationship is a subject he’s famously avoided discussing. “I gotta pee first. This might be a long one,” he says. He rises to head to the bathroom, then adds, “Actually, you can say, ‘He went for a pee and never came back.‘ ”


He returns a couple of minutes later. “Thought I’d let you stew for a while,” he says, laughing, then takes a gulp of green juice. He was surprised, he says, when photos from Central Park rocketed around the world. “When I see photos from that day,” he says, “I think: Relationships are hard, at any age. And adding in that you don’t really understand exactly how it works when you’re 18, trying to navigate all that stuff didn’t make it easier. I mean, you’re a little bit awkward to begin with. You’re on a date with someone you really like. It should be that simple, right? It was a learning experience for sure. But at the heart of it – I just wanted it to be a normal date.”


He’s well aware that at least two of Swift’s songs – “Out of the Woods” and “Style” – are considered to be about their romance. (“You’ve got that long hair slicked back, white T-shirt,” she sang in “Style.”) “I mean, I don’t know if they’re about me or not …” he says, attempting gallant discretion, “but the issue is, she’s so good, they’re bloody everywhere.” He smiles. “I write from my experiences; everyone does that. I’m lucky if everything [we went through] helped create those songs. That’s what hits your heart. That’s the stuff that’s hardest to say, and it’s the stuff I talk least about. That’s the part that’s about the two people. I’m never going to tell anybody everything.” (Fans wondered whether “Perfect,” a song Styles co-wrote for One Direction, might have been about Swift: “And if you like cameras flashing every time we go out/And if you’re looking for someone to write your breakup songs about/Baby, I’m perfect.”)


Was he able to tell her that he admired the songs? “Yes and no,” he says after a long pause. “She doesn’t need me to tell her they’re great. They’re great songs … It’s the most amazing unspoken dialogue ever.”


Is there anything he’d want to say to Swift today? “Maybe this is where you write down that I left!” He laughs, and looks off. “I don’t know,” he finally says. “Certain things don’t work out. There’s a lot of things that can be right, and it’s still wrong. In writing songs about stuff like that, I like tipping a hat to the time together. You’re celebrating the fact it was powerful and made you feel something, rather than ‘this didn’t work out, and that’s bad.’ And if you run into that person, maybe it’s awkward, maybe you have to get drunk … but you shared something. Meeting someone new, sharing those experiences, it’s the best shit ever. So thank you.”

—  Harry Styles talking about Taylor Swift - Rolling Stone May 2017 (x)
Harry Styles Vocal Health on SNL

Hello!  So first and foremost I wan to put out there how much I love Harry and his voice.  Dear god it’s SO COOL and unique.  I love how when he’s in good vocal health he has all these different textures to it- the gruffness of his chest voice, the purity of his falsetto, the power of his belt.  When the studio version of SOTT came out I couldn’t sing his praises enough.  His voice sounded SO HEALTHY.  He was making such good choices!!!  Everything was relaxed and well supported.  He let the song build naturally.  He MUST have gotten some solid vocal training over his break because that isn’t something that can just happen over night.  I was very impressed and very proud.  I was also a bit nervous to see if these changes would hold when he started performing live….and…..it looks like I had good reason to be nervous.  

Here’s the thing. There are a few reasons I’m so hard on Harry in particular when it comes to poor technique. First, compared to the other guys, his technique is the only one that’s actually physically DAMAGING.  Could the other guys benefit from proper training?  Sure.  Of course.  Every singer can.  Even those who have been singing for years still should train on a regular basis.  But the other boys’ bad habits are just that- bad habits.  They aren’t going to do long term damage, not the way Harry’s are.    The second reason is BECAUSE I know he can do (AND HAS DONE!!!!!) so much better!!   I know he’s CAPABLE of so much more and so yeah, I’m hard on him because of that. And finally, I know exactly what he’s doing physically and exactly what’s going through his mind because I have the same exact bad habits and I can see him using the same exact thought process as to why he slips into these again.

Harry is the Ultimate Performer. He wants nothing more than to put on a good show for everyone, even if that means sacrificing his own vocal health.  Now, that’s isn’t a HUGE problem…until it KEEPS happening.  Which is what happened with OTRA.  And possibly might be happening now, although that remains to be seen.  One performance of one song slips into an entire show of this slips into two shows of this slips into the entire tour and wham, you’ve got nodes.  I think the biggest problem with Harry’s performance last night is he doesn’t trust the material or HIMSELF to sell it the way it is.  He feels he needs to overcompensate and big Big and Bold right from the start and that song is not built to be sung that way.  He started at a level that he couldn’t sustain throughout the entire thing and had nowhere to go.  That’s when he ran into trouble.  

As soon as he opened his mouth, I knew it wasn’t going to go well.  Don’t get me wrong, he sounds fantastic in the beginning…but like I said, there was nothing for him to build upon because he already started it at too high a height. His voice sounded raspy to me too, raspier than usual.  That can be caused by a few things- he could have been dehydrated (you can’t sing right if you don’t pee white!), he could have been tired (we know he’s a morning person and that show is pretty late for him), he could have strained his voice at the concert the night before, he could have over rehearsed, he could have smoked a bit.  I don’t know what the cause was, but he didn’t start off the evening in the best vocal health, especially for a song that’s very difficult to sing.  I also think he KNEW that so again, he tried to overcompensate for that by pushing.  

There is so much tension throughout his whole body, particular his shoulders on up.  I’m sure a lot of that is due to nerves.  I’ve said it many times before and I’ll say it again: the SNL stage is one of the hardest venues for artists to play.  There’s something particularly rough about it.  He’s also always had problems tensing up his face when he sings, but it what was particularly striking to me was that he did it during the falsetto parts.  That should have been EASY for him to sing.  That’s something light and relaxed.  Almost a break from the tension of the rest of the song…and yet he looks like he was in pain.  Which makes me wonder if he WAS in pain.  it’s hard to tell, but it almost seems like the second time he does it he pushes it more to a mix than a pure falsetto. 

It’s notable to me how relaxed the second syllable of  “bullets” around 2:44-2:48 is compared to the rest.  THAT is what the whole thing should have sounded like.  it’s relaxed and he’s got a great vibratto on it that comes straight from the diaphragm there- compare that to how tight “bullets” are the second time he sings it in that phrase at 2:58ish-3:04.  Why did you change what you were doing, sir??? In fact, to me it seemed like he KNEW it sounded good the first time and did his cute li’l dance and then came back to it feeling like “yeah I got this…” and then tightened right back up again.  because he didn’t trust himself.  

Thennnnnn the bridge happens.  And this is what i mean by he had nowhere to go.  THIS should have been his first belt it out moment.  but he pushed too hard too quickly and his voice just…wasn’t there.  It was tired.  The first scoop up to the first “we” was off key because of it and I think he knew it which made it even worse and MORE tense to the point where he just didn’t have the vocal agility to flip into his fasletto again for “learn”.  And then we’ve got the “it’s just what we know” which was just a poor choice.  I have a feeling he nailed that MULTIPLE times in rehearsals and mannnnn if he was in good vocal health how killer would that have sounded!??!!?  But instead, we got what’s called harmonic distortion which is SUPER VERY YIKESY AND A BIG SIGN OF HOLYSHITYOU’REDOINGDAMAGE (i sincerely hope he has an appointment with an ENT this week and gets scoped to check that out).   This was another instance of him trying to put on a great show and overcompensate for what he probably felt was lackluster vocals (which for the record WERE NOT THAT BAD.  I’m picking it apart because…well, it’s what I do.  and i don’t think I would have had too much of a problem if it weren’t for the super damaging choices he ended up making).  

From there he’s thinking “Oh shit that was bad…I REALLY fucked up…better step up my game and make the end better!” and once again tries to overcompensate and push a voice that’s already been pushed to the brink.  there just wasn’t more in there for it to give.  He couldn’t sustain it.  He had already given everything that there was go to give.  

When it comes to ESNY, it was a much better performance.  I think it’s partially due to the fact that it’s an easier song to sing and partially due to the fact that he was playing guitar so he wasn’t as much in his head (Side note: CAN YOU BELIEVE HE FINALLY BLESSED US WITH HIS GUITAR SKILLS?????).  His belty part towards the end wasn’t as good as it could have been, but I think that’s just due to the fact that his voice was kinda shot and that’s the best it was going to be.  It wasn’t TERRIBLE and obviously it could have been better, but I am curious to hear the studio version to see if there’s more belting that he just wasn’t comfortable with last night.  I could have done without the facial affectations because it just adds more tension and tension is bad, kiddos  But I think it’s a stylistic choice and I’m trying to pick my battles here.  Additionally, as we’ve seen in gif form his li’l neck vein was popping out so yeah he was tensing up pretty good there…but again, it wasn’t as terrible as it could have been since the song itself isn’t as taxing vocally.  

All in all, the performances were great, especially if you’re not as picky as I am. I know this was his first time singing live in well over a year and SNL is high stress and it’s his first time out there ALONE.  I’m curious to see what happens on Graham Norton and if he improves his technique. I’m also really curious to see how he’ll be on tour as well. I do wonder if he’ll lower the key of SOTT so it’s not as taxing.  No one would really notice and it would make things a little easier on him. It’s just frustrating because I know he has it in him to do it well.  We’ve HEARD him do it well.  But he just doesn’t trust himself enough to do that and that kind of breaks my heart a little.  Thankfully, he’s young and has time to learn.  He can still break these habits and make new, healthier ones and learn to trust himself more.

BUDDY.  YOU GOT THIS.  YOU HAVE AN AMAZING VOICE.  YOU ARE A FANTASTIC SONGWRITER.  YOU HAVE GREAT TECHNIQUE WHEN YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO IT.  YOU ARE A KILLER SHOWMAN WITH A TON OF CHARISMA.  PLEASE TRUST THESE THINGS AND STOP PUSHING YOURSELF BECAUSE I DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU DAMAGE ANYTHING.  

Love,

B <3 

We haven’t talked for such a long time, I can’t even recall the exact sound of your voice. I don’t remember your laugh - I remember the crinkles by your eyes and that dimple on your cheek and how it deepens - but I don’t know what it feels like to hear it, how it once made my heart swell in my chest, not anymore. And yet I’m sure that if I heard a million people laugh, yours would still stand out to me and maybe I’d turn around to look for the source and wonder how something so simple is enough to make my blood sing. We miss the memories, not the person, is what my father used to say, but how can he explain why I drop everything when I hear that one song we used to dance to and why that blue sweater you borrowed me still sits at the bottom of my closet when I could have thrown it away? How does missing someone make any sense when that person is still around, is somehow still a part of your life? How am I supposed to get over that? How does anyone?
—  missing you / n.j.