i wonder if this is on his playlist

After All Things (Part V)

Peter Parker x Reader (Peter’s POV)

This is Part V of my series that chronicles Peter and a new reader as they deal with the fallout of the events in It’s A Lot Like Falling.‘

Summary: The crushing, the falling, the deciding, the climb; in that moment, he wondered on shapes and colors and textures: what sort of feathers would that hummingbird have?Peter is 25. Words: 4.3k.

There will be one more part to wrap all of this up. Thanks for sticking with me.

After All Things: Part I  Part II  Part III  Part IV  Part V  Part VI

Mood board and After All Things: A Playlist by @jedistardust


His head was throbbing, sounds of morning in their apartment beating at the insides of his skull. From the moment he’d opened his eyes on this dreary day, he’d noticed immediately that his senses were on hyper drive. The sound of the sheets slipping off his waist was a sun-bleached tarp crinkling as the wind pummeled its surface, the pads of his bare feet meeting with wood as he swung his legs over the side of the bed a sledgehammer to concrete; her breathing like a hurricane, Sputnik lapping at his water bowl across the room the pattering rain to match.

Everything was too loud.

The throbbing increased when the clouds outside a dirty, locked window cleared and the sun came pouring in through curtains covered in cat hair; loose weaving in spots where sharp claws had decided to make their mark. With eyelids glued together tightly, lids crinkling, and brows furrowing, he tenderly rubbed at ears with rough fingers; the sound of his flesh pressing against itself like scratchy sandpaper. The beaming, white light burning his skin with its heat; backs of eyelids blazing red and flashing black as he squeezed harder and harder to keep the sun from beating any further into his over stimulated mind. The hairs on his arms and legs standing, skin pimpling as it sometimes did.

His sense was off.

Had been off since it had happened.

The crushing.

Sometimes it was like this when he woke from nightmares and his body was still on high alert; muscles tense, ears perked, eyesight dialed up, and heart racing, the whole of him ready for action; overwhelming sensations, everything heightened to the point where it was nearly unbearable.

Dr. Brown had told him to breathe through it, had convinced him that he had it within himself to take control of it; he could expel the intensity with purposeful breaths.

She called it dumping.

There were other times where he dumped all of the excess out of him in the bathroom or a trash can, sick more from fear than anything else. Fear of danger and what those alarm bells often meant, what it sometimes led to.

Names: the list that he kept on hold in the restricted section; that webbed shelf in the back of his brain; letters from a fallen sky that forever branded the muscle strands of his heart.

But there was no danger here, not now.

So he let his diaphragm relax and the weight draped across tense, freckled shoulders to roll off of him and into the dark void of space he dumped those rare bad dreams into now. He pulled in the cool, clean air of the bedroom through greedy nostrils, into thirsty lungs, the spicy floral scent of them coating his insides and lapping at fiery nerve endings. As he breathed, he told his ears to listen for the things that brought warmth and comfort; as they obeyed his mind in that way that was still fresh and new in that lighted room that existed outside of that well, the harsh, busy noises of the city gradually sunk deeper and deeper beneath anxious waves, all of those intruding sounds muffling until she was the only sensory object that mattered.

And in the narrow space of his storm shelter mind, there was only the slow, steady, sweet breathing of her; of his something, and a too-small for his age cat sprawled out on his back in the path of the morning sun, paws perked, tail sweeping, blue fur a shiny pastel; luminous in that ray of light as he soaked up the morning in that funny way he did; the yellow in his eyes smiling up at him in good morning; asking him: ‘how much longer, Peter?’

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

hi, i was wondering how you discover new music?

on spotify:
•looking at “related artists” to singers i love
•clicking “go to radio” on songs i love (it’ll give you a playlist of similar songs)
•listening to everything on my release radar
•listening to new music friday
•use the browse feature

other:
•on youtube i’ll search songs i like then watch the recommended videos
•there’s lots of channels like MrSuicideSheep and Indie Chillout that post songs I like
•when in doubt, ask others what their current faves are
•any time someone posts a favorites playlist, check it out
•i gravitate toward pandora and 8tracks less and less, but they’re still fun tools sometimes to find new stuff

Hit Korean boy band BTS is ready to take over Anaheim

Rap Monster, one of the seven guys in the South Korean boy band BTS, says it was only at the end of 2016 that he and the others realized how huge their band had become around the world.

“Somebody in the company sent me a message: ‘You got No. 26 on Billboard OMG congratulations,’” says Mr. Monster, the 22-year-old rapper born Kim Nam-joon, by phone from Chicago where BTS was set to play on Thursday before hitting Honda Center for a pair of sold-out shows on Saturday and Sunday.

“At first I thought, 'Ha ha, your humor isn’t really very good,’” says Rap Monster, the leader of the group and its primary songwriter. “We didn’t believe it.”

But as more messages started to ping onto their phones he says the BTS boys realized it was no joke: Their sophomore album, “Wings,” entered the Billboard 200 chart at No. 26 after its October release, making it the highest chart position for any K-pop act – not to mention one that sings primarily in Korean – and offering a bit of foreshadowing for Billboard naming the record the best K-pop album of the year.

Since then things have only gotten sunnier for Rap Monster, Jin, Suga, J-Hope, Jimin, V and Jungkook. In February, “Wings” was re-released in a new edition as “You’ll Never Walk Alone,” and the combined editions have since sold nearly 1.5 million copies worldwide. Music videos for “Spring Day” and “Not Today” were released a week apart last month as well and exploded on YouTube where they’ve currently racked up 59.2 million and 60.1 million views respectively.

“When we heard that and really got that, I was saying, 'OK, this is going to be a whole other world,’” Rap Monster says of the significance of the Billboard chart success and all that followed. “And I feel like we should do something more, and dream something more.”

This past week they’ve taken a step toward something more, playing their first headlining and sold-out arena dates in the United States, after previously having mostly played on multi-artist billings at KCON conventions held here.

“So many people just to see BTS was really an honor,” Rap Monster says of the opening pair of shows at the Prudential Center in Newark, N.J. “It feels dreamy these days.”

Not, mind you, that it’s been anything like an overnight success or an easy road for him and the other BTS members.

He grew up a top student in his school who loved American rappers such as Eminem and Nas, performing even as he attended high school and eventually catching the attention of BTS future manager Bang Si-hyuk at BigHit Entertainment in South Korea. And though he says he gave up on music when he was 16, lacking confidence in where he was headed, he says Bang encouraged him to stay strong, believe in himself, and sign on as the first to join BTS, even though at the time he wasn’t sure who or what it would end up incorporating.

“I was not aware of the other members,” Rap Monster says. “But I like the company and I respect them. And he promised to me, 'I will make you do your music and get big someday, so please believe me.’

"So I believed him.”

The other six members soon were selected, each of them bringing different talents on the mic or on stage. Songs were developed by Rap Monster and the other members, with a team of producers working to craft the best music from the raw material, the melodies and beats, that they created.

“Our chemistry is different from other groups,” Rap Monster says. “Everyone has their own points and characteristics. If I’m a bad dancer, a good dancer teaches me. If I’m a good songwriter, I help the others with a good melody.”

We ask the obvious question: Are you a bad dancer?

He laughs and answers: “Yes, I’m a bad dancer.”

Their music is different from a lot of K-pop acts that have made ripples on the American airwaves. They’re not popular because of the novelty aspect of their songs – think “Gangnam Style” by Psy from a few years back. And they’re not quite as bubblegum as a group such as Girls Generation or as eclectic as the synthpop of f(x), the first Korean band to play the South By Southwest festival.

Instead, BTS often aims for that sweet spot where R&B and rap get together, the kind of stuff Justin Bieber might be doing if he sang in Korean and there were six Bieber variations with fashionable hair and eclectic yet unified fashion choices.

“BTS music sounds like it’s from America,” Rap Monster says. “We decide to always watch the trends and watch what’s going on over the world. America’s the No. 1 market in the world so that’s why people in America prefer us.”

As for communicating through the language divide, Rap Monster says that’s partly handled by the group’s wildly enthusiastic social media following: “Fans translate our lyrics and interviews,” he says of a following that has landed them at the top of Billboard’s Social 50 list for a total of 17 weeks since “Wings” dropped in October. “They’re able to say, 'OK, BTS is talking about us and our lives.’”

And it’s partly addressed through lyrical subjects that express the common hopes and dreams and fears and worries of any teenager or young adult in any country.

“Our lyrics are mostly Korean but we always talk about the young people’s lives and their minds,” Rap Monster says. “There’s something similar between every young person in the world, in America or in Korea. We share something together even if we use different languages or live so far.”

American fans are also the savviest music lovers in the world, Rap Monster says, which made heading out on this brief headlining tour a little bit intimidating at first.

“We actually were scared of performing in America as a solo act,” he says. “Their playlists are the best in the world. I was really nervous for them.

"But after we were on stage our fear disappeared. They’re like everybody, they’re like friends. Singing along all of the lyrics even through the raps. They know how to play, the rhythms and the dances.”

An aside here to share our favorite piece of Rap Monster trivia. You might be wondering whether he spoke through a translator. He did not. His excellent English skills were polished in the classroom but also at home through what he refers to as “a Korean mothers syndrome.”

“'Friends’ was really famous for the mothers in Korea for English education,” Rap Monster says of the hit American sitcom from the '90s. “It was kind of like a syndrome. Korean mothers make their kids watch 'Friends’ even when they were eating food or playing.

"I think it really helped. It has like 10 seasons, I think, and I watched it like more than five times through the 10 seasons. They use the gestures and expressions, like, Americans use, right? I think that naturally teaches me how to speak or how to make a gesture when you try to express some emotions.

"Thank you, 'Friends,’” he says, laughing. “God bless 'Friends’!”

Rap Monster recently collaborated with the American rapper Wale on the song “Change,” which like some of BTS’ other songs – and unlike most K-pop – touches on politics and societal issues. He says he’d loved Wale’s music for a few years when the opportunity to do the song came along last year “like a miracle, like a dream come true.

"The song has already come out and we shot a music video together, but still sometimes I lie in my bed and think, 'Did I really do something with him?’” Rap Monster says.

He knows that boy groups from Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync to the Jonas Brothers and One Direction tend to have a finite lifespan before members get restless to move on solo projects, acting gigs and other opportunities. But he thinks the variety of interests and musical genres that individual BTS members have can be handled on the side or even within the group, and BTS itself can carry on.

So while Rap Monster says he’d love to collaborate with Drake or Miguel one day, Suga feels the same way about Kanye West and Flume. Jungkook seems more inclined toward pop R&B – his dream musical partners would include Bieber or Charlie Puth. V is a little bit old school, having mentioned Norah Jones and the Fugees as on his wish list. Rap Monster ticks off the rest of the band: Jimin digs Chris Brown, J-Hope is into the similarly initialed J. Cole, and Jin is a fan of old-school showman Bruno Mars.

“I always tell them that every time we have hits under the name of BTS we shine the best when we are a team,” Rap Monster says. “I know all the seven members, they love music, and I know their No. 1 wish is for us to perform and make music and sing and dance.

"Maybe someday someone will want to be on a television show or be an actor,” he says. “I just hope they know all of the popularity and fame and money is from the name of our team. That’s not one person, everybody contributes to the team.

"Nobody knows the future. I just hope it can last as long as possible.”

Peter Larson @ OCRegister

2

30 Million Kruge: a six of crows mix 

“Jesper knocking his head against the hull and cast his eyes heavenward. “Fine. But if Pekka Rollins kills us all, I’m going to get Wylan’s ghost to teach my ghost how to play the flute just so that I can annoy the hell out of your ghost.”

Brekker’s lips quirked. “I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.”

“My ghost won’t associate with your ghost,” Matthias said primly, and then wondered if the sea air was rotting his brain.” 

listen on: spotify + playmoss 

Song of Themyscira | masterlist

Wonder Woman AU // As an Amazonian warrior, you’re invited to Man’s World by Diana Prince. Ares, angered by the situation, decides to send an army, led by his son, to disrupt the peace. Will James be able to follow through, or will the Amazonians keep the peace?

fic playlist on spotify


One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten


|| Last updated: 07/28/17 || - completed 

sequel series: If I Believe

A special, MASSIVE thank you to my beloved @barnres for the banner!

 Back To You and Tennessee

 Louis Tomlinson rises to rock and roll fame at age twenty three and is thrown into a life of luxury and excess, but being on stage isn’t easy for a boy who has always stuck to the side-lines, and Louis struggles to deal with his new fame as he joins the Grand Ole Opry and is sent out on tour with names like Liam Payne and Elvis Presley. His life takes a turn, however, when his childhood role model, Harry Styles, joins them on tour, and the two become closer than two men in the spotlight are allowed to be. 

 OR, the one where Louis is Johnny Cash and Harry is June Carter 

harry/louis | 57k  | explicit | ao3 | playlist |

posted as part of the @1dbigbang
art by the wonderful Leyre

Y’all The Flash’s summer hiatus got me bored as hell, so… I got to thinking about what superficial cultural impacts Barry faced being raised in a Black household. Like, who cuts that white man’s version of a fade he rocks and hooks up those perfectly arched eyebrows? ‘Cause I’ve never seen a white man walk out of Supercuts looking so clean. Does Barry know how to do The Electric Slide and all other variations of said dance, including but not limited to the Cha Cha Slide, The Wobble, and The Cupid Shuffle? Does he know all the words to at least one Al Green or Stevie Wonder song and have All My Life by K-Ci & JoJo on his sexy time playlist? Does he know not to eat the potato salad at the family reunion if cousin Trina decided she wanted to try her hand at it this year, even though through the years the only thing she’s ever brought is store brand soda? Did Iris teach him not to touch a Black woman’s hair? 

Dean Winchester’s eclectic taste in music, as shown in his (non-classic rock/heavy metal) FBI aliases

My whole thought process here started today with the famous Aaron scene, and the alias Dean uses while he shows his badge to his “gay thing”.

Yes, Marc Bolan was an openly bisexual celebrity (referenced here by BEN EDLUND, similar to 10x22, where ANDREW DABB references Freddy Mercury - another bisexual man - as one of the other aliases Dean chooses for himself). 

This is a telling reference in itself in the context of this scene, but as a huge T. Rex/Marc Bolan fan myself, this scene got me super excited also besides that. Like, super SUPER excited. Why, you ask?

BECAUSE IT MAKES TEXTUAL THE FACT THAT DEAN IS A GLAM ROCK FAN. Like, classic glam rock. Silk shirts, high heels, glitter eye-shadow glam-rock-fan. A one step away from David Bowie’s “Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars” glam-rock-fan. 

He is a fan of THIS:

Originally posted by jackkandwhite

Originally posted by jv-guitar-yard

He is enough of a fan to take Marc Bolan’s name as his alias while he usually chooses aliases based on classic hard rock musician’s/heavy metal band members that he likes/identifies with.

OR DOES HE?

Out of curiosity (and procrastination, because of course I should be doing something else right now) I checked the list of the music aliases Dean uses over the years (I assume that these aliases are Dean’s ideas since he is the brother more interested in music, after all.) As a result, I spent a great evening with a whole spectrum of music genres, based on Dean Winchester’s amazing and broad AF music taste.

It’s true that most of the aliases Dean chooses are heavy metal and classic rock bands (Led Zeppelin, Black Sabbath, AC/DC, ZZ Top, Kiss, Ted Nudgent, Styx, Rush, Warrant, Poison, Guns and Roses…)(I don’t blame him, these are great bands).

MOST, BUT NOT ALL OF THEM.

There are exclusively six writers who gave Dean a much more eclectic taste in music during the last seven seasons:

  • Andrew Dabb
  • Robert Berens
  • Ben Edlund
  • Robbie Thompson
  • and a writing duo Eric Charmelo & Nicole Snyder (season 10/11)

So, let’s look at what genres/bands broadens Dean’s iPod album collection, shall we?

1) 80′S HAIR METAL BANDS (GLAM METAL)

Yes, Dean was sneering at Vince Vincente and his spiked codpiece (and a rainbow wig that I am completely sure Dean imagined, because even google can’t find me one band who used that as a prop), but that was all Performing!Dean talking, obviously. How do we know? Because as far as real-life parallels to the fictional band Ladyheart go, this is what Dean hates so much:

Yes, Dean is completely disgusted by leather pants, huge wigs and studded codpieces, here visualized by Mötley Crüe. Dean said so IN TEXT.

(I am pretty sure Ladyheart is supposed to be Mötley Crüe since their next album was to be named “Theatre of Mercy” - mirroring Mötley Crüe’s album “Theatre of Pain”. Also, “Rock Never Dies” was written by ROBERT BERENS, who named another one of his episodes “Girls, Girls, Girls” - after a Mötley Crüe  song and album.)

Originally posted by perilsofrocknrolldecadence

And yet, in episode 8.02. “What’s up, Tiger Mommy?” (written by ANDREW DABB), Dean introduces himself and Sam as Agents Neil and Sixx, two members of MÖTLEY CRÜE. Which means Dean is a Mötley Crüe fan, and he doesn’t seem to mind huge wigs and studded codpieces that much in their case. (Bam, LAWYERED!)

The name LADYHEART (called into existence by my above mentioned personal god Bobo Berens) reminds me of the British band LADYTRON (playing synth pop/new wave/electronic combo), and named after the super famous ROXY MUSIC synth pop/glam rock song.

Originally posted by letthewiresrock

So, yeah, Dean is a fan of studded codpieces, big wigs and hair metal. He is also a fan of a long list of different music genres (real Dean behind the cut):

2) 90′S GRUNGE

In episode 10x13 “Halt and Catch Fire” (written by ERIC CHARMELO & NICOLE SNYDER), Sam and Dean use aliases “Grohl and Cobain”, as in DAVE GROHL and KURT COBAIN from NIRVANA.

Originally posted by lifeisabowlofbullshit

3) BRITISH 1970′S/1980′S PUNK ROCK

In episode 11x13 “Love Hurts” (also written by ERIC CHARMELO & NICOLE SNYDER) Dean uses alias “agent Weller”, as in PAUL WELLER from the classic British punk rock band THE JAM.

Originally posted by rockinnreelin

4) POWER POP

In episode 10x19 “The Werther Project” (written by ROBERT BERENS) Dean pretends to be a Neighbourhood Watch member by the name of Dwight Twilley.

DWIGHT TWILLEY is a power pop singer from the 1980s.

5) POP ROCK/ART POP/BLUES ROCK (with female vocals)

In episode 9x14 “Captives” (written by ROBERT BERENS), Sam and Dean take aliases of “agents Nicks and McVie”.

STEVIE NICKS and CHRISTINE MCVIE are members of the legendary soft rock/art pop/blues band FLEETWOOD MAC. THEY ARE ALSO BOTH FEMALES!!!

Originally posted by witchstevie

6) POST PUNK/INDIE ROCK (with female vocals)

In episode 10x14 “The Executioner’s Song” (written again by ROBERT BERENS) Sam and Dean take names “Moore and Ranaldo”.

THURSTON MOORE and LEE RANALDO are members of the legendary indie rock band SONIC YOUTH, with famous vocals of KIM GORDON.

7) PROGRESSIVE POP ROCK/SYNTH POP of 1970s/1980s

In episode 8x17 “Goodbye Stranger” (written by the one and only ROBBIE THOMPSON), Sam and Dean use names “agents Tandy and Lynne”.

RICHARD TANDY and JEFF LYNDE are members of ELECTRIC LIGHT ORCHESTRA, a band that combines pop-rock, synth pop, electronic music and elements of disco.

Originally posted by theshivareelady

8) REGGAE/SKA

In the episode 5x14, “My Bloody Valentine” (written by BEN EDLUND), Dean uses names “agents Cliff and Marley”, as in JIMMY CLIFF and BOB MARLEY - famous reggae musicians.

Originally posted by dream7790

9) FOLK ROCK

In episode 8x08, “Hunteri Heroici” (written by ANDREW DABB), Team Free Will pose as agents “Nash, Crosby, and Stills”.

DAVID CROSBY, STEPHEN STILLS, GRAHAM NASH (and occasionally NEIL YOUNG) were a folk-rock supergroup started in 1968.

10) COUNTRY ROCK/SOFT ROCK

In episode 11x04 “Baby” (written by ROBBIE THOMPSON), Dean uses name “agent Walsh” as in JOE WALSH from THE EAGLES, a soft rock band of “Hotel California” fame.

Dean’s taste in music, reflected here in the names of musicians he chooses as his personas, alongside his most favourite rockstars, shows how broad Dean is in his tastes - Dean practically is a fan of anything that sounds good to him, regardless of genre (as shown with his liking for Taylor Swift and Broadway musicals, for example). It’s a shame that this wonderful music taste is still hidden in the subtext, and all I can do is hope that our new Dean will be allowed to play some of his favourite bands in his car next season, especially since both Dabb and Berens seem to be the keepers of Dean’s super eclectic, infinite playlist. Please Dabb, make it happen!

hero ☾peter parker

summary : peter can’t save everyone. he knows that. he just never anticipated one of those people being you. 

word count : 2.7k

author’s note : i wrote the word heart so many times it lowkey makes me wanna die lol goodnight hope you enjoy

  Head in his hands, Peter’s chest felt tighter than it ever had before. He could feel his heart, heavy as it was, beating slowly, reluctantly, behind his ribcage. The gentle shattering of it was all he knew how to feel at this point, and he figured the sheer pain was bound to crush him eventually, if it hadn’t already. He’d felt this agony before, twice in fact, but his identity as Spider-Man made him confident that as long as he continued to fight the way he did, he would be able to protect his loved ones for quite sometime, never having to go through this sort of suffering again. 

   Yet there he was, his head resting against the wall of his messy bedroom as he slumped against his bed with his eyes closed, wishing it was him that had almost bled out instead of you. 

  God, how he wished it had been him instead of you, the one good, pure, beautiful thing in his life. His heart was aching at the thought of you lying in that hospital bed instead of him, comatose for three days before you woke up, your ribs on the mend and twenty three stitches scarring your cheek. And it was his fault, all of it. 

    He wasn’t there to walk you home that night, the way he did every other night. If only he’d been a bit more stubborn, more determined to get to you. He did, in the end, but he hadn’t been fast enough. Not even nearly fast enough. He’d been two blocks from you when it happened. If only he had ran faster. He called you to let you know he was on his way, not to move until he was there because he was going to be there and he was going to walk you home no matter what even if it meant missing curfew- curfew didn’t matter to him that much as long as he knew you were safely sitting in your apartment. 

   “Hey my love,” he had greeted you, “I’m on my way. Don’t move until I get there. Please. Be safe, I love you. I’ll be there in five minutes.” You had picked up your phone to reply to the voicemail, but your phone ended up smashed on the ground before you could, knocked out of your hand. There was a tight grip on your hair, tied back in a ponytail because of the summer heat, and you barely had time to register what was happening. 

  Peter arrived three minutes after. He was confused. You always answered his calls back relatively quickly, and while he understood that sometimes you just forget or were busy, he was worried. It was ten o'clock at night, he knew you had your phone on you- 

    He stopped short when he saw your phone, open to his voicemail, lying there on the ground with the screen cracked and no sign of you anywhere. He could feel his blood running cold as he picked it up, staring around the empty street. Then, he heard the agonizing screams, exploding in his skull. And though each part of him was pleading to every higher power he could think of that it wasn’t, he knew it was you. He ran toward the sound, and he could feel his heartbeat in his throat and in his ears and in his head. He heard footsteps rounding hurriedly rounding a corner behind him but didn’t bother to look back. He didn’t give a shit about the attacker, not right now. 

   It was you that mattered. You, who he dropped to his knees beside. He cradled your head in his arms, the way he had done so many times before except this time the side of your face was gushing blood in a way he had never seen. “Y/N, Y/N, oh my god, oh my god,” his voice broke. “You’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be fine. I swear, you’re gonna be okay, baby. I promise.” 

  “Peter? Oh, hi Peter,” you smiled weakly up at him, your eyes drifting between open and closed. “My- my head hurts, Peter, it hurts really bad-” You must’ve hit your head on the concrete.

   “Just keep your eyes open, baby, okay, just keep them open for me.” He fumbled around for his cell phone, dialing 911 as quickly as his clumsy fingers could manage. He was still holding you in his arms, trying to quell the bleeding with a ripped part of his t-shirt but you were bleeding everywhere and it was so hard to keep up- “I have an emergency, please you need to get here as soon as possible please I have a person here who was attacked we’re on- Y/N? Baby, c’mon, c’mon- stay with me?” He repeated the address to the operator and hung up. “Stay with me, Y/N, please stay with me, don’t die on me, you can’t, don’t leave me, please.” 

   He didn’t know what else to do besides wait. He could hear the faintest sounds of the ambulance in the distance but he couldn’t hear you breathing and that was the only thing he wanted to hear. He gently shook your shoulders, his vision blurry, “C’mon, my love, please don’t leave me just yet- you’ve gotta stay with me, please, Y/N.” And he was crying, crying, crying into your hair and clutching you so tightly he was afraid of suffocating you. Your heartbeat was barely there. “You’re gonna be okay. You have to stay here.” The rest of the night was a blur from there. He rode in the ambulance to Jamaica Hospital, sat in the waiting room with tears streaming down his face and snapping at people who gave him pitying looks, even if they were trying to be sympathetic. 

   Aunt May arrived there, too, because Peter had been questioned by the police and they had called her to be there. They knew the Parkers. Uncle Ben had been attacked, too. When she got there, Peter had collapsed in her arms in the middle of the lobby, crying harder than she had ever seen, blood soaking through his shirt. Your parents got there next, your little brother so terrified at the sight of your boyfriend standing on wobbly legs. They told him that if Peter hadn’t found you, you might not have made it. That he saved you. 

   But as he walked into your hospital room hours later after your surgery, he felt like the most pathetic excuse for a hero the world has ever seen. He had never felt like less of a hero. What sort of savior was he, if you were lying there, eyes closed and hooked up to a heart monitor? What type of hero was that? 

   He wasn’t one. That was the end of that.

   Peter hadn’t been to visit you since, not even when your brother had texted him that you were awake. He couldn’t. He didn’t deserve to. It should have been him. Never you. Everyone tried to convince him otherwise. Ned pleaded with him to visit, Michelle had confronted him in the middle of the cafeteria and made him cry, Flash told anyone who would listen that Peter was a terrible boyfriend- and Peter couldn’t bring himself to disagree. He just hung his head and accepted the torment and did everything in silence from then on. He kept his earbuds in for most of the day, just so he didn’t have to listen to anyone ask him about you. 

  “Honey, you know she’s asking for you,” May said, leaning against the doorframe of his room. He turned his head away. “You can’t hide from her, Peter. You love her. I know you blame yourself for this-” He didn’t reply, but he turned his music up louder and threw his comforter over himself. 

   She was right, as she usually was. He still didn’t want to listen. May sighed. He’d come around eventually. Peter felt a slight vibration next to him, opening his eyes to see a message from Happy. 

   Tony wants to see you. Now. 

   Peter texted back, I’m busy. Can’t.

   Another text came in. He says it’s urgent. 

   With a groan, Peter got out of bed. His legs were shaking from lying down so long. He couldn’t imagine how it would feel for you once you were able to get out of bed. He locked his door so May couldn’t walk in and see that he had left. He put on his suit, slipping the mask over his face even though he knew he didn’t even deserve to hold the title of superhero right now. He knew he would meet Tony at the roof of Peter’s building, peeling the mask away from his face as he waited for him to arrive. 

   His Iron Man suited landed him behind with a soft thud. Peter didn’t look. “Are you really here or is it just the stupid suit again?” He asked, harsher than he meant to. The metal creaked. 

   “I’m here, kid,” Tony said, his hand resting on Peter’s shoulder when he came up behind him. 

   “Happy said you needed me. What is it?” Peter wanted to get right to the point so he could crawl back under his covers and listen to the saddest playlist he could find.  

   “You should really go visit Y/N.”  

   “Who told you about that?” He turned to look up at Mr. Stark, confusion flashing across his face. He brushed his hand off his shoulder. “I can’t, anyway.” Peter looked back toward the city, Manhattan just beyond reach. 

   “Your aunt called me. She thought you’d listen to me more than her. Which is wrong, by the way. She’s a very wonderful woman and you should listen to her often.” Tony was only joking, trying to get the kid to exhibit some sort of emotion other than sadness. 

  Peter glared. “Stop hitting on my aunt.” Well, now he was angry. Close enough. “I don’t want to visit Y/N, okay? It’s my fault she’s in there, my fault she almost died. If I had just gotten there sooner, this never would’ve happened. You should just take this suit away from me again, because I don’t deserve it. I’m an awful person. I’m not a hero.” 

   “Kid, you can’t save everyone. That’s part of the job. But one thing you did do was save Y/N. Even if you don’t think so. You think she’d be alive right now if you hadn’t found her? Probably not. You’re lucky you did. I know that she knows that, too. You can’t beat yourself up over this. Y/N is alive, Peter. You have to go and see for yourself.” Tony walked away, stepping back into his own suit. “No one blames you. So stop blaming yourself, and stop being so damn self deprecating. That’s my thing.” 

   He left Peter there, with his legs dangling off the edge of the building. Finally, he swung back down through his window, put on regular clothes and pulled sneakers onto his feet. He brushed his hair, he splashed cold water on his face. He unlocked his bedroom door and walked out into the living room where May was sitting on the couch with a book propped open on her lap. 

  Clearing his throat, Peter gave her a shaky smile. “Do I look okay?” 

  May clasped her hands together, beaming at her nephew. “You look great. Y/N will think so, too.” Peter nodded, walking over to give his aunt a kiss on the cheek. 

   He walked out of the apartment with his hands shoved in his pockets, got on the E train, and tried to remain calm. You’d been awake for nearly three days now, he should’ve been there sooner. A week in the hospital and Peter had only been there beside you when you were passed out, and even then, only once. He showed up at the hospital a good ten minutes before visiting hours were over, thank God. He would’ve stayed in the lobby all night if he had been forced to, but this made things so much easier. 

  Your door opened slowly, and you sat up in bed. Your family had just left a half hour ago, there was no way they were back yet. Then, you saw that familiar, hesitant stance, the messy honey colored hair, the Midtown sweatshirt that he practically lived in, and breathed a sigh of relief. “It’s about time, Parker.” 

   He shook his head as he laughed, sitting down at the chair next to your bed and taking it all in. You looked perfectly fine, healthy even, but you would have a scar marring the side of your face for the rest of your life and he knew there was a gash deep in your side, which was how you had almost died in the first place. He knew your two of your ribs had been practically kicked in and that you had bruises covering your torso. But you were still radiant, grinning at him. So happy that he was there. 

   “I know, I’m sorry,” he held out his hand, and you held it. “D’you hate me?”

   “For what?” You furrowed your brow. 

   “For not getting there in time to walk you home.” He let out a long, slow breath, his voice hitching. “I- I should’ve ran to be with you. I knew something like this would happen and you almost died. I suck at everything. I even suck at the one thing I thought I was good at. I’m a shit boyfriend and a shit Spider-Man. Your parents kept telling me that I was a hero. But if I was, I would’ve gotten there in time to strangle whoever did this to you. This wouldn’t have happened to you at all if I was really a hero.” 

   He rubbed his eyes with his sweater sleeve. “I don’t deserve-” 

   Without thinking, you pressed your finger to his lips. “I never thought I would say this but Peter, my love, please shut up. Right now.” He gulped, then nodded. “You are worthy of a million great things. You deserve to be a hero, to be Spider-Man. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have that suit that you put on every night. You wouldn’t go out and save people every day. You not only deserve to be a hero, but you are one. If not in your eyes, in mine.” 

   “But-” 

   “No,” you said firmly. “You are a hero, Peter Parker. You saved my life. I don’t care what you think about yourself because that’s what I think. And I-” You stopped. You didn’t want him to think you were just saying it because he rescued you. That was the last thing you wanted. People said crazy things after they were saved by someone, and if he thought that was the case here, you’d feel awful. 

   “Y/N, you don’t have to say it…” He raised his hand to your face, bringing you closer to him. Your foreheads touched lightly and your eyes closed. 

   “I mean it, though.” You pressed a kiss to his lips, mumbling it against him, “I love you. I mean it. I love you and your heroism and your intelligence and your kindness and the way that you think you’re funny even though you’re not. I really love you.” 

   He grinned against your lips, a weight lifted off his shoulders. He felt feather light. He pulled away just slightly, so he could look at you as he said it. “I love you, too. More than anything. If you had died, I don’t know what I would have done. I would have been a wreck. Thank you for staying with me. Thank you for holding on. I love you.” Now that he had said the three words that set his mind spinning, he didn’t think he would ever stop saying. 

   “You wanna know how I held on?” 

   “How?” 

    “I listened to the voice of my hero, of my Peter. I heard you.” You rest your head against your pillow. “I wasn’t about to leave you just yet. We still have a long way to go together.” You moved over, leaving room on the pillow for him. “There’s no room on the bed, can you just sleep on the pillow? I don’t want you to leave.” 

   “Of course.” He didn’t care that it’d be uncomfortable. “Anything for you.” 

   His heart soared when you squeezed his hand, saying quietly, “My hero.” 

Or Nah (One - Shot)

Or Nah: Reader and Bucky are doing their routine workout before an extremely important mission, which doesn't go as planned when Bucky shows her his own playlist he made.

A/N: I've always wondered what would happen if Sam introduced Bucky to some really dirty songs! I was dying while writing this haha! If you want to hear the song while you read it’s right here! :D I hope you guys like it! ENJOY! - Delilah

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Very dirty song lyrics, pls beware lol. Bucky being a flirty little shit. Slight secondhand embarrassment. 

You let out a small sigh as you placed the weight in your hand down. You had been in the gym for a solid two hours, working out for the mission that was coming up later that week. It was a pretty big one, and you wanted to make sure you were ready for anything and everything. Bucky, who would be your partner for the mission had agreed to join you for the workout, and to your surprise, he even offered to chose the playlist. 

Ever since he and Sam had been hanging out more often, they’ve been able to catch him up on various modern things, mostly music. You knew that Bucky had been spending time listening to the new wave of music on his little ipod you had given him for his birthday, but you had no idea what songs Sam had put on there for him. 

You and he had grown pretty close ever since Bucharest, and dare you admit, you liked him. A bit much for just friends, but you’d never tell him. There were sometimes when you swore he was reciprocating your feelings, but you always brushed it off as simple flirtatious teasing. Steve always said that’s how he used to be back in the day. 

You just figured it was some nineties rap or something, which wasn’t unlikely. 

The last song had ended, leaving the two of you in that awkward five second silence before the next song began. 

Do you like the way I flick my tongue or nah?
You can ride my face until you dripping cum
Can you lick the tip then throat the dick or nah?
Can you let me stretch that pussy out or nah?

Your eyes nearly fell out of your head at how wide you were staring at him. He paid no attention to you, as he was in his own little world. He lowly sung along to the song as he lifted the weights in his hands. The way he spoke the lyrics, you knew damn well that he had heard the song quite a bit. 

You swallowed loudly as you watched Bucky work out. The black tank top he wore clung to his body, which was glistening with a thin layer of sweat. His arms flexed in such a delicious way each time he brought the weight up, almost as if he was showing off everything he had. 

His hair was pulled back in a messy bun, with a few rebellious strands falling in front of his face. Your eyes analyzed the way his jaw clenched each time he flexed, and the way his lips pursed. His brow was furrowed with concentration as he worked out, his eyes staring forward at the grand mirror in front of him as he watched himself. 

And Jesus, that metal arm. It shifted and clicked with each movement, and you honestly found yourself wondering how on earth you could be attracted to a prosthetic limb. Regardless, you’ve wanted it and him. 

After making sure you weren’t drooling over him, you peered back up at his face, expecting him to still be in his own little world. But to your horror, he was staring right at you. His mouth was curved upwards into a little, fascinated smile as he watched you. Regardless, he continued singing along to the song. 

You gonna run it for these hundreds, girl, or nah?
Show me is you really ‘bout your money, girl, or nah?
Don’t play with a boss, girl, take it off
Take it for a real one
You gonna get it all

You watched as he sung to you, his eyes traveling down your body. You blushed even deeper as you took in the raunchy lyrics. You had no idea why Sam would introduce him to this. Steve would probably have several heart attacks at once if he showed up. 

Bucky set down the weights in his hand with a loud clank, pulling you out of your thoughts. He made sure to give you a show as he reached behind himself and slipped the tank top from his body, tossing it to the side. He made his way over to the chin up bar, which was located directly across from you. By now, you were trying to relieve some of the arousal that was pooling between your legs by pressing them together. 

Bucky placed his hands on the bar, and slowly began lifting himself upwards, peering over at you, still singing those damn lyrics. 

Is you really 'bout your money or nah?
Can you really take dick or nah?
Can I bring another bitch or nah?
Is you with this shit or nah?

Your eyes immediately went to his body, watching as every single muscle flexed as he lifted himself up. His gray sweatpants hung low on his waist, giving you a perfect view of the V of his waist. You so desperately wanted to see just a few more inches, but you knew better. He was teasing you, and you were falling right into the trap. 

Not being able to take it anymore, you stood from your seat and began walking towards the bench press. You lie back onto the bench, pressing your hands onto the bar tightly. But before you could even get started, you felt a pair of hands wrap around your legs and pull you away. 

You squeaked, trying to balance yourself. Before you could sit upwards, you were pressed back down by a metal hand. Bucky hovered over you, smirking devilishly as he placed both of his hands on either sides of your head, trapping you underneath him. You felt so small, and couldn't fight the blush that was now spread throughout your chest and face. 

Girl, is you sucking me or fucking me or nah?
Can I bring another bitch? Let’s have a threesome
Keep saying you’s a freak, you gon’ prove it or nah?

“Hey, Buck,” Sam called as he entered the room. His eyes staring down at the ipod in his hands, completely unaware of what was going on in front of him. 

“I think I accidentally took yo- WHOA!

You immediately covered your face with your hands. This was not what you hoped the outcome would be at all! You were hoping for some steamy make out sessions or maybe even Bucky’s head between your legs, but this was absolutely not what you wanted. Sam would never let you guys live this down. 

Bucky cleared his throat awkwardly as he stared at his friend, his eyes flickering between the two of you with a sheepish smile. 

“Man,” He whistled as he listened to the song blaring from the speakers. “I always knew you were a closet freak, Y/N.’” With a cackle, Sam turned on his heel and exited the gym. 

Not before calling over his shoulder that he had a very interesting story for dinner tonight. 


-FIN!

Tag list of super awesome people!

@sebbylover24 @softwintersoldier @jezzula @amrita31199 @ballerinafairyprincess @harrisbn @gingerbatchwife @livforthegames @abigailredgrave @queen–valeskaxx @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @r3stl3ss-minds @diana-daydreamer @barnescrazy @jamesbarnesblog @sebbyismyking @4theluvofall @sad-af1121 @the-lazy-leprechaun @chou-maitresse @claryfray1698 @twinklingstarlight @netflixa @winterboobaer @ihavetwobuckystomyname @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @i-write-tragedies-and-sins @melconnor2007 @dracu-ma-bucky @answer-the-sirens @jenna-luke @shieldagentofthemonth @witheringblooddemon @bellaballanda @confuzzled-panda @astralbarnes @38leticia @marveloussssworld @imsecretlyromanburki @callmeoncette @christynjay @lostinspace33@nottheopera @shadowpriestess6 @buckyappreciationsociety @hellstempermentalangel @omgpandagirl14 @buckybarnesfiend @societalfailure @vacam79 @meganlane84 @persephone-is-here-omg @feelthemusicfuckwhatheyresaying @mrssgtjamesbuckybarnes @say-my-name-assbut @mariathedorkydragon @icedragoncred1763 @cassandras-musings @empathiccally @watergirl1996 @supersoldier-buckybarnes @abovethesmokestacks @the-winter-avengerrrrr @behindthesehazeleyes27 @loricameback @vindictivegrace @fandomlover2001 @avengersandlovers @under-dah-sea @ktrivia

Dan's Liveshow 03.14.17

aka Dan wants snow and loves bees

- He’s been doing liveshows for 5 years

- Phil hit 4 million

- “Phil hit the big 4 M”

- He and Phil went to a sushi restaurant with some friends that they hadn’t seen in a long time

- His dessert looked like a zen garden

- “If you get given a tiny wooden rake by somebody, everything’s fine.”

- He turned off the heating for the first time this year

- “Did you take the sherbet?” “Take? That’s a very strange choice of words. You don’t take sherbet like a drug.” *like two more minutes of confusion and talking about how to take sherbet like a drug*

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Blind Side - Chapter 3

Intro | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

You stood alone in your closet, wearing nothing but a silk dressing robe, surrounded by outfits and accessories for every occasion. Flowing gowns, skin-tight workout gear, mix-and-match business attire, and a ski suit you wore for all of five minutes – you’d honestly rather freeze than look like a walking marshmallow. You never thought this day would come, but here you are. Hundreds of options, and nothing to wear.

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You Had Me At Hello

I WROTE THIS WITH THE BRILLIANT AND HANDSOME MILO AKA @demiboydaniel / @sexgodphil 

Description: Phil’s a battered kid with a fucked up worldview who smokes constantly and can’t find it in himself to care. Dan’s a timid boy with a stutter who cares far too much. They’re the perfect complement; two broken teens with a similar taste in music and bleak humor. 

Warnings: Self harm references, smut, existentialism and passive suicidality, smoking (weed and cigarettes), alcohol, cursing, mentions of domestic abuse, deep conversations, definitely triggering content for those who have difficulty finding meaning in life.

Word count: 9.6k (damn)

Playlist 


Dan ran down the street, his feet hitting the asphalt in rapid succession. Not that he could hear that. His head was elsewhere, his ears covered by huge headphones that he had accidentally smashed the month before. But they still worked decently, so he didn’t care enough to get a new pair. He swung open the door to Joey’s, pulling the headphones down to rest around his neck just soon enough to hear the bell jingle. “You’re late!” He heard from the kitchen, and he groaned. 

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systemfailuresunshine  asked:

Hi Thomas! I'm so glad Dear Evan Hansen is on your February playlist. I've recently started listening to the soundtrack (thanks to you) and it's so good! Have you ever thought about doing a cover of Waving Through A Window? The first time I listened to it, I thought it would be perfect for you :D I hope you're having a wonderful day!xxx

I would love to!!! I’m thinking about doing it with someone who can hit the highest notes cause unfortunately I can NOT! Lol

anonymous asked:

Hi Mal! So I saw your klance playlist (which i love) I was wondering if you've made/would consider making other vld playlists? Like for characters? If not that's cool just thought it wouldn't hurt to ask, but I rly liked the other one your taste in music is 👍 so I figured i'd ask :)

first of all please know this ask made me cry i love you ksjdnfksnfk second of all you’re in LUCK my sweet ängle i just made some character ones yesterday!!!

keith

lance

shiro

pidge

hunk

here’s a general voltron one, and here’s the klance one again!!

bc my spotify is full of weirdly specific playlists and i’m always a slut for a bandwagon:

you live in a one room apartment in a really old building and you think u might have a crush on the ghost that haunts the tiny kitchen space and leaves notes with ur refrigerator magnets and makes sure you never burn ur food

youre a 1930′s woman who found out ur husband had an affair with a beautiful younger woman and it broke ur heart but then u fell in love w his mistress & ran away w her and now u live in a house filled w sunshine and ur days together are slow and easy and sometimes ur husband sends a letter begging you to take him back and you and ur lover read it together and laugh

diana walking through no mans land in Wonder Woman (2017) dir. Patty Jenkins

all the indie songs i hear and think “that’s gay” go on this playlist

youre a notorious badass living a life of crime and also ur really hot and have perfect hair and wear lots of leather

these songs are for the witches that wouldn’t burn

you and ur sig. other have packed everything you can’t live w/o into the back of ur old car. ur driving west and youre a little scared and a little in love and a little uncertain of what the future holds but theres been a weight on your shoulders for a long time now and finally you can feel it lifting