i won't tag this as shizaya because that's not what this is

If Izaya had a crush on Shun (4)
  • Shun: Izaya-kun! Are you alright?!
  • Izaya: I’m fine…did that beast hit you, Shun-chan?
  • Shun: I didn’t get hit, Izaya-kun you’re the one who’s hurt! Ah, wait – don’t move!
  • Izaya: It’s fine, it’s fine…this is nothing. See? I can still move.
  • Izaya: *shrugs his shoulders, holding back a wince*
  • Shun: Izaya-kun is strong, but you’re still injured. Hey, don’t worry me like that. Stay still, I’m going to heal you.
  • Izaya: There’s no need for that –
  • Shun: Stay still, Izaya-kun.
  • Izaya: …Yes.
  • -------
  • Hajime: (…Was he holding Shun’s hand?)
  • Hajime: Shizuo, why did you throw that vending machine?
  • Shizuo: BECAUSE I WANTED TO KILL THE FLEA!
  • Hajime: I have nothing against that, but you could have hurt Shun. And then I would have hurt you.
  • Shizuo: HUH?! …I didn’t hit the girl, I think.
  • Hajime: Girl? …What is that guy doing? Shun!
  • Shizuo: Huh? Hey! It’s dangerous to go near the flea, Hajime!
  • -------
  • Shun: *removes his hands from Izaya, the light fading*
  • Shun: Do you feel better, Izaya-kun?
  • Izaya: Thanks to you, Shun-chan.
  • Izaya: *smiles and takes hold of Shun’s hands*
  • Shun: I-Izaya-kun…?
  • Izaya: Thanks. You really do have a magic touch, hm Shun-chan?
  • Shun: *blushing*
  • Shun: E-Eh…
  • Izaya: If it leads to Shun-chan healing me like this, then I wouldn’t mind getting hit by a vending machine again –
  • Shizuo: I-ZAAAA-YAAAAAAAAA!
  • Izaya: *ducks to dodge the stop sign*
  • Izaya: Again, I didn’t mean that literally. This time it’s a stop sign huh, Shizu-chan?
  • -------
  • Hajime: Shun!
  • Shun: H-Hajime!?
  • Izaya: *evades Hajime’s punch*
  • Hajime: You…stay away from Shun.
  • Shun: Hajime!
  • Shizuo: What the hell have you been up to, fucking flea?!
  • Izaya: Well, well. Not only is there one beast, now there are two. Can’t a man get a peaceful date with an angel around here?
  • Shizuo: …You fucking flea…not appearing in Ikebukuro for a week AND NOW I FIND YOU BEING ALL LOVEY-DOVEY WITH SOME GIRL – YOU WANT TO DIE, AHHHHHHHHH?!
  • Izaya: Shun-chan is a guy. And even if Shun-chan was a girl, it’s none of your business if I’m lovey-dovey with my girlfriend. What, are you jealous or something, Shizu-chan? Did you think I was with a girl and you were jealous because no woman would go near a monster like you?
  • Shizuo: HUUUUUUH?! WHY THE FUCK WOULD I BE JEALOUS –?!
  • Shun: Izaya-kun!
  • Shun: *runs to Izaya*
  • Hajime: What are you doing, Shun? Get away from him.
  • Shun: Why, Hajime? Izaya-kun is my friend. What do you have against him? He’s a fan of –
  • Hajime: He’s a bad guy.
  • Shun: …Izaya-kun has been nothing but kind to me.
  • Hajime: …Shun.
  • Shun: Hajime. I don’t know why you don’t like him, but I don’t believe Izaya-kun is a bad guy. …You’re not acting like yourself, Hajime.
  • Hajime:
  • Izaya: The angel has spoken. So if you two could leave us alone on our date –
  • -------
  • Hajime (182cm): You’re short.
  • Izaya (175cm): …Excuse me?
  • Shun (182cm): Eh, I like Izaya-kun’s shortness! I think it’s cute ~
  • Shizuo (185cm): …A taller flea…?
  • -------
  • Hajime: I said you're short.
  • Izaya: I'll have you know I'm above the average height for a Japanese man -
  • Hajime: You're too short for Shun. Shun needs someone who can look at him from the same level.
  • Izaya: I wasn't aware you needed to be tall enough to date someone you like. Also, at least I'm not a prickly porcupine.
  • Haijme: …Prickly porcupine?
  • Izaya: That's right. You're like a porcupine with that spiky hair and those glaring eyes. Is this what girls are into nowadays? I can't see why.
  • Hajime: Shun is the leader of an idol group as well, the rival to mine.
  • Izaya: Oh of course Shun-chan is an exception. Shun-chan is perfect. He's my angel after all.
  • Shizuo: …Perfect? Angel...?
  • Shun: *squealing like a fangirl and not sounding like an angel*
  • Shun: Kyaa porcupine - PORCUPINE HAJIME! HAJIME AS A PRICKLY PORCUPINE IS ADORABLE~!!! Imagine, chibi porcupine Ha~ji~me!
  • Izaya: ...
  • Hajime: *smirks smugly at Izaya*
  • Shun: - I love you Izaya-kun, that's such a wonderful idea!
  • Hajime: ...
  • Izaya: *smirks smugly at Hajime*
  • Shun: I want to see Hajime dress up as a porcupine with his cool glare and his tsun-tsun-tsundere!~Ha~ji~me~
  • Hajime: If it's what you want, Shun.
  • Shun: Eh? Really? Hajime must be in a good mood! Then -
  • Shizuo: You piss me off.
  • Shun: …Eh?
  • Hajime: Shizuo?
  • Izaya: And here we have the second unpredictable man. What's your problem, Shizu-chan? Shun-chan didn't even look at you.
  • Shizuo: Ahhhhhhh?!
  • Hajime: *turns to Izaya*
  • Hajime: I'm not a porcupine. I'm a wolf. Officially. Right, Shun?
  • Shun: *snuggling chibi wolf Hajime to his face happily*
  • Shun: Yes~wolf Hajime~chibi wolf Hajime is my life! But~chibi porcupine Hajime is cute too~
  • Izaya: Looks like you're still a porcupine.
  • Hajime: I'm his life.
  • Izaya: …You realize he's just fanboying, right?
  • -------
  • Shun: Kyaaa chibi wolf Hajime really is adorable!
  • Shizuo: *vein throbbing*
  • Shun: He's too cute his ears are so soft HIS TAIL IS SO FLUFFY KYAAAA I'm so blessed!~
  • Shizuo: *fist clenching*
  • Shun: His cuteness really is MOE! CHIBI WOLF HAJIME IS MORE MOE IN REAL LIFE!! TO THINK I'M HOLDING CHIBI WOLF HAJIME IN REAL LIFE IN MY OWN TWO HANDS KYAAAA I'M REALLY LUCKY I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS MY LIFE!!!
  • Shizuo: *teeth grinding*
  • Shizuo: …OI, IZAYA!
  • Izaya: *looking annoyed from his conversation with Hajime*
  • Izaya: What?
  • Shizuo: *jabs a finger at Shun, eyebrow twitching*
  • Shizuo: This guy is kyaa-kyaaing like a girl and saying annoying things, he's fucking noisy - ARGHHH I WANT TO HIT HIM HE'S A GUY RIGHT?!
  • Izaya: Huh? What does it matter to you whether Shun-chan is a guy or girl?
  • Shizuo: Hah? If he's a guy then I can shut him up, but if she's a girl, then I'll hold back because I won't hit a woman.
  • Izaya: Oh really? Too bad for you, Shun-chan's a girl.
  • Shun: Eh? Me, a girl?
  • Shizuo: ...HE'S A GUY ISN'T HE ARE YOU TRYING TO PISS ME OFF?!?!
  • Izaya: Hah? You're the one pissing me off, Shizu-chan. Don't you dare lay a hand on Shun-chan.
  • -------
  • Shun: *watching the scene with amusement in his eyes*
  • Shun: Fufufu. You're funny, bartender-san.
  • Shizuo: AHHH?!
  • Shun: *giggling and smiling mischievously at Shizuo*
  • Shun: Ehehe. If I'm a girl, then you won't hit me? What a gentleman you are.
  • Shun: *smiles playfully and speaks in a feminine voice*
  • Shun: Then, please think of me as a girl because I don't want to be hit~
  • Shizuo: ...You're trying to piss me off AREN'T YOU..?!
  • Shun: Not at all~I just don't want to be hit. Am I too pretty to be a guy for you? If that's the case, please don't hit this pretty face, alright? I'm a young master after all, and there are few in number who can hit me.
  • Shizuo: ...NOW I REALLY WANT TO HIT YOUR PRETTY FACE! IF YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOUR LIFE THEN HOW ABOUT WHEN YOU'RE ON THE VERGE OF DEATH HUUUUUUH?!
  • -------
  • Izaya and Hajime: *share a reluctant glance*
  • Izaya: *readying his knife*
  • Hajime: *clenching his fist*
  • Izaya: …Shizu-chan.
  • Hajime: Shizuo.
  • Shun: That's right. Please don't hit me, alright bartender-san~?
  • Shizuo: *glaring at Shun's pretty face*
  • Shizuo: ...Tch!
  • Shizuo: *stomps away from Shun and slams his fist into the wall*
  • Shun: *looks at the destroyed wall with awe*
  • Shun: Wow~bartender-san, you're really strong!
  • Shizuo: AHHHH?! YOU WANT TO BE HIT?!
  • Shun: *pouts with a playful light in his eyes*
  • Shun: Ehhhh but I'm pretty like a girl so you won't hit me right? Ehehe~
  • Shizuo: STOP GIGGLING IT'S FUCKING ANNOYING!
  • -------
  • Izaya: *frowning*
  • Izaya: Stop yelling at Shun-chan. What did he ever to do you?
  • Hajime: For once I agree with him.
  • Shun: That's right, it isn't polite to yell at a stranger, bartender-san.
  • Shizuo: ...Tch!
  • -------
  • Izaya: (This guy really pisses me off)
  • Hajime: (This guy took Shun away from me)
  • Shizuo: (THIS GUY IS TOO PRETTY FOR THE FLEA IT PISSES ME OFF)
  • -------
  • Hajime: *Glaring at Izaya*
  • Izaya: *Glaring at Shizuo*
  • Shizuo: *Glaring at Shun*
  • Shun: *doesn’t know how to glare*
  • -------
  • Everyone:
  • Shun: …Hey? Since Izaya-kun’s friend and Hajime are here ~Hajime~do you all want to go for lunch together~?
  • Hajime, Shizuo, Izaya: NO.